Screaming into the void, the sound of awful sawing in the air. Like something on the other side of the veil is trying to make an opening. Fingers creeping around your field of vision.
I wish I had cookies.
21/11 2016
—
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Today will be a good day. Have a good week, please.
21/11 2016
—
.
Good goat times today. I was a little earlier than usual, so the place was still closed. Couldn’t take the goats out the normal way because, well there’s a horse in there at night. And I figured taking them out the front door would be a problem what with the giant mudhole there. So instead I petter the barn kitty a little and then I took the goats out the back way and around the building. To the gate on the far side of the pen. Turned out that Mia and Mio rather enjoyed snacking on the grass outside the pen, though. So I let them do that while I put A38 in the pen. She quickly made her way to the half-shed to take cover from the rain. She relaxed there while the big girls did some grazing and pulled me around on the leash. We had some human visitors. Some kids. One of them was celebrating their birthday. Ethan or Eaton, it sounded like. They were singing birthday songs and got to pet the goats. I talked to a woman who recognised me from the old playground, so we talked a little about that. And speaking of the old playground, later on Alice arrived. One of the management of the old place. She came to check up on the goats. Maybe on me. She told me she’d been told they were happy to have me here at the new place, so that’s nice. I was a little flumoxed so I forgot to ask.. well anything, about how it’s going at the old place. I’m planning to drop by soon to check if there’s any progress.
But a nice day, despite the rain. I have a bad headache now though and I’m very tired. I may have to call it an early pizza.
21/11 2016
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Mia and Mio out grazing. Not much grass left, though. The fence on the left is an area I think is used for horseback riding. At least I’ve seen Ophelia dragging a kid around on one of the horses in there at least once.

21/11 2016
—
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Hello, my name is Manbun Threepwood and I want to be a hipster pirate.
21/11 2016
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I can’t anymore for today. I’m going to have to unplug the lasseframe and let it cool down. I blame you kids and your angry birds.
21/11 2016
—
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Today will be a good day. *waves arms like doing a magic trick*
22/11 2016
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Ugh. My body is aching. Apparently I am now that age where I need to stretch after and before cleaning my shower. Good to know. I stood in some weird position and now my thigh muscles, which I believe is the proper scientific term, are aching like if I don’t stretch after going on the exercise bike. And other parts of my body are aching after the weekend’s exercise. And I’m still tired. I feel someone dropped me in a trash compactor. Seeing as though there is a reasonable chance we could get goat kids soon, I’m going to take a day, maybe two, to rest up. Because right now I can’t get out of my chair without sounding like I did when I turned on the TV the morning after the election.
On the plus side I had elderberry soup at 11am, so I got that going for me.
22/11 2016
—
.
Oh by the way, I dreamt about BoB. Because of course I did. When will I learn to not read about Twin Peaks. I keep inviting him in…
It was terrifying, but thankfully I have forgotten what happened now. So I don’t think I need to put my head in the freezer.
22/11 2016
—
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Not often they get to spend time on this side of the fence.

22/11 2016
—
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downloading the fan edit of Fire Walk With Me. WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF.
Stop traumatizing yourself, Lasse.
Stop traumatixing yourself, Lasse.
22/11 2016
—
.
Forgot a tidbit from yesterday’s goating. It was raining a little and the horses had just been let out in the pen, a couple of them were standing under the half-shed cover. Mia and Mio went inside the stable to get cover. Poor Yogi was hoping to take cover under the half-shed but stopped halfway there when she spotted the horses. So she ended up standing against a wall to at least get a little cover. And of course I was a gentleman and went and leaned against the wall, leaning above her trying to make myself as wide as possible. Uncle Roof to the rescue.
22/11 2016
—
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Forget-me-nots, the neediest of all flowers. I bet all the other flowers in the bed are like “ALRIGHT ALREADY, LET IT GO”.
22/11 2016
—
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I’m going to crawl into bed. Might be a while. I’ll leave this potato shaped rock wearing a top hat to stand in for me while I’m gone.
22/11 2016
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

23/11 2016
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Sparkling series of amazing dreams last night. Visits from both Kamel and Palle. I love the dreamlands. Always hard to tear myself away from there.
23/11 2016
—
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Working on my new app, it basically just streams Planes, Trains & Automobiles 24/7.
23/11 2016
—
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Ain’t no party like a Lasse party because a Lasse party includes no one but Lasse because Lasse don’t invite people to parties
23/11 2016
—
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A calming hymn to relax this evening.
Trying not to be offended that humanity doesn’t seem to care that I’m giving up on it.

23/11 2016
—
.
goatlog.

23/11 2016
—
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I am regretting eating the emergency ice cream. Next time I’ll buy emergency cookies too.
23/11 2016
—
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mashup ketchup in the stirrups
.
.
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I read the news today, oh boy. Shit’s so thick you could stir it with a stick, free teflon whitewashed presidency. And the radio says “This is a low. But it won’t hurt you”. The papers wouldn’t lie, I sigh. Ugh this means war. It’s a hallowed, hollow anesthesized “save my own ass, screw these guys” smoke and mirror lock down. Hail to the thief, get up get over turn your tape off
24/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. And I am thankful for that.
24/11 2016
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Good goat times today. I was wondering if we’d have Thanksgiving babies, but nothing new there. I honestly am not sure, it could go either way. Either way, there’s about a handful of days left.
A sharply sunny and cold day. Some of the mud was almost frozen over, but the worst mudholes were still a menace. I put down a wooden board over the worst one. Mia had a fun couple of jumps on and off it. But then, after previously using it, Mio decided she didn’t like it and refused to pass it. Sheesh, there’s always something. I’m worried it’d be slippery for the horses anyway, so I can’t leave it there. But it was a fun diversion. We also had another visit from the cat. Not sure if it’s our barn cat or not, but it’s come by the pen a couple of times. It got a righteous stare-down by Mia. With some snorts as well.
And now we wait.
24/11 2016
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Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends. And to everyone else as well. We should be thankful all year round, but I like having a spot in the calendar that will refuse to let you forget to be thankful. And I like getting a look into the American ways. Growing up with very special American sitcom episodes and now seeing friends post about cooking and family and so on. As with many other things it has its good and bad sides, but I choose to see the good. I find that’s usually the better option. And I am very, very thankful for my family and facebookerinos and goats. Thanks for putting up with me and enabling my madness, and thanks for the pizza I am about to receive.

24/11 2016
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I feel like I have eaten too much. Truly it now is Thanksgiving.
24/11 2016
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It’s always nice to see some blue sky, even if it’s usually a little warmer when it’s cloudy.

24/11 2016
—
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Happy Turkleton Day

24/11 2016
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Time for the parade. Which is me parading ceremoniously to my bed and then deflating and collapsing like a giant balloon that just can’t balloon anymore. You all keep giving those thanks. There may be no forks to give, but there are still tanks. War is over if you want it etc.
. Enjoy, and love to all the families in my newsfeed, which is rapidly turning into foodpron.
I didn’t say stop.
24/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. We will find life’s way.
25/11 2016
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It warms my heart, going through all the comments on Mia’s page. It’s so nice to see that people get just a little bit of happiness out of our larks. I remember when I was younger, having that desire to reach people. Seeing how musicians and actors really reached people and made connections with them and just having that… I don’t know how to describe it. Communion? It was always beautiful to me. I always desired something like that, and I figured it would be through writing, whether it would be books or journals or poetry or whatever. I never imagined I’d get some sense of it through posting goat photos on the internets. Haha. Not that I’m comparing what I do to great artists or anything. But just making a few people smile, that’s beautiful to me too. As I have (tried to at least) grown to try to be a more positive person, I know that whatever helps put a smile on your face can be really valuable. And then once in a while you get those messages from people who are going through something hard, and our little goat fun has helped them or distracted them. That’s so wonderful. Being a tiny bit of a jigsaw puzzle that helps bring some positivity. I love that. And I am thankful for all you out there, jigsaw pieces in my own puzzle as I try to distract myself from the bad in the world and in myself. Sometimes it all seems too much, and I appreciate you are all there helping me. Thank you for reaching me.

25/11 2016
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My pizza place apparently “doesn’t think Black Friday pizza deals are a thing”. Well, whatever! I’ll show them by bying the pizza full prize and keep giving them my business. I can play hardball too.
25/11 2016
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You know, it’s cact-US. Not cactyou.
.
I wasn’t going to post that, but Facebook bugged me with its new draft saving hijinx so instead of deleting it we’ll just all have to suffer.
25/11 2016
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No, YOU’RE eating soup at 2am.
26/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. We will achieve it.
26/11 2016
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The fall colours are less colourful now.

26/11 2016
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Unless the Marvel cinematic universe does a crossover with The Smurfs cinematic universe, I just.. I’m not interested. I also haven’t watched any Harry Potter movies or Twilight movies. I have however watched the Ewok adventures several times and I’m still patiently waiting for them to conclude the trilogy.
26/11 2016
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goatlog

26/11 2016
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Okay, Facebook. I’ll continue creating my post. I am, after all, a creator. Darn, autocorrect. I meant creature, of course. Of habits and other suits. And so on and so forth. I’m going to bed. Don’t forget to feed the gizmo. And set the clocks back. Wait, how did Gremlins deal with daylight savings again? Let’s just hope we get a fire thrower for christmas.

26/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

27/11 2016
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Latest list of disappointments:
A) My Gilmore Goats Revival pitch wasn’t picked up.
2) I never got a callback from my audition for the part of young Lando Calrissian.
3) I walked five hundred miles but then I quit. I just couldn’t walk another five hundred miles, even for you.
#) Sometimes reality forces its way into my delusion.
On the plus side, I think I’m going to have elderberry soup. Yes, yes I definitely think so.
27/11 2016
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“But why do they have to call me ‘Abominable’? ”
“I know, I know”.
“But it’s just.. i could live with ‘snowman’, even though I’m not made of snow or anything. But ABOMINABLE snowman?”
“I know, it’s just not fair. But you can’t blame yourself”
“What’s wrong with ‘Yeti’? Why do they always have to further such negative stereotypes about our people?”
.
This has been a preview of my new play “A Therapy Session With The Abominable Snowman” coming to a a theatre near you, assuming you live next to my shower.
27/11 2016
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their mouths all shouting asphalt, the bodies torn apart

27/11 2016
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Waldo’s not here, man.
27/11 2016
—
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It’s okay, guys. According to WebMD there is no such thing as elderberry poisening. And my heart is beating normally again, so it was probably just the hiccups or something.
27/11 2016
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End of Facebook posts. Go go goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

It is what it is.
—
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What if I am allergic to the air
14/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. We battle on.
14/11 2016
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Good goat times today. Dreary weather, though. Dark and cold. Frozen ground and a slight, almost icy rain at times. The goaties were fairly subdued when I got there. Treats and cuddles got them to perk up, though. Normally I’m greeted by Mia, but today Mio was the welcoming siren. Mia was standing in the half-shed, for cover I guess, and couldn’t see me. But Mio was standing outside it and started bleating when she saw me. Quite a difference from Mia’s bleats. Mia is loud and hysterical. Mio has that kind of broken bleater like Clark had. Not nearly as loud. And just one croak at a time.
Mio almost also had a close encounter with Mulle. Anne was taking the horses to the other pen, and Mulle was being her usualy dramatic self. Running around and whinnying. Mio almost got trapped in close proximity with her. She was very aware though, Mio. She doesn’t like the horses, and I could tell by the way she was watching Mulle. She was just waiting for an opening to slip around the fence and get away.
Now I want to go back to the shower and take a nap in a warm waterfall. I can deduct my water bill, right? It’s part of my job as a scruffy looking goat herder.
14/11 2016
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Here are some more fall colours before it all turns brown. Today I bought elderberry soup in the supermarket. It’s the only kind of soup I like storebought. Doesn’t compare to yer mama’s classic of course. But I can eat it with melboller and it’s warm and liquid so it’s the next best thing.
Forgot to mention that one of the horses was wearing something today, like a blanket almost. Maybe it was a horse coat. I didn’t get a good enough look. But it’s cold, for sure.

14/11 2016
—
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“Sometimes an owl is just an owl”
– The Secret History of Twin Peaks
14/11 2016
—
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Look, just because you’ve never seen me and the Supermoon together in a room at the same time doesn’t mean you should jump to any conclusions.
14/11 2016
—
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Speaking of the moon. Well. Singing of the moon, I guess.

14/11 2016
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Heading to bed. Don’t forget, the sun will rise tomorrow. It always does, even when you can’t see it. Long after we’re gone the sun will keep rising. Because clearly it doesn’t know the definition of insanity.
15/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. I don’t see the sun, but I know it’s gonna rise.
15/11 2016
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Good goat times today. Another dark day, with a little rain. More than yesterday. But the temperatures were up a little bit, which helped a lot. Didn’t need handwarmers today, even left my gloves off in periods. I’d take a light drizzle over the freezing cold, really. Not sure the goats agree. As Anne remarked while taking the horses to the other pen, the frost at least makes the mud easier to navigate.
Other than that, nothing new. I may be starting to flip flop on the Mio issue. Maybe she isn’t pregnant.
But then maybe she is.
Note to self: Fact check this later.
15/11 2016
—
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Elderberry soup. It’s what’s for dinner.
It’s really good, I just miss vegetables. It doesn’t feel as full a meal. But it’s hot and has melboller, so it’s something.

15/11 2016
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stupidspace
.
.
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Meme idea. Text: Hands across America. Picture: A bunch of people flipping
the bird.
Which is a phrase I know.
Sorry.
15/11 2016
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Bonus fact: Elderberry soup is “hyldebærsuppe” in Danish. Bær means berry, of course. And suppe = soup.
Hylde? Means either shelf or worship. I … don’t really know how hyldeberries got their name. Someone put a jar of them on a shelf? Or they were so good that people just had to worship them… by eating them. I don’t know. Shelfberry soup or worshipberry soup.
The more you oh no.
Actually now that I think about it, it’s not really worship. It’s more like.. praise. So praiseberry soup. Praise those berries. Praise them.
15/11 2016
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Do not be alarmed. A38 is taking over your screen.

15/11 2016
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Elf on a shelf = nisse på en hylde.
You guys practice that and I’ll go to bed. I’ll expect to wake up to a wall full of videos of you guys saying it. The winner gets a coffe mug with the inscription “This is a fictional coffe mug, there is no coffe mug, you’re not getting a coffe mug, please don’t expect there to actually be a coffe mug, I’m kinda regretting even mentioning the coffe mug now”.
Thank you for your patronage. It tasted great with a dash of vinegar and parslry. That wasn’t a typo, it’s my genetically engineered combination of parsley and celery.
15/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

16/11 2016
—
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goatlog

16/11 2016
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If I have multiple personalities, does that mean I can cook up another pot of elderberry soup? I already had one serving, but really my Mr Hyde side is starving and I’m worried he’ll do something crazy if I don’t feed him.
16/11 2016
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I lost the number for the Emergency Chocolate Cake Hotline. Why don’t we have an emergency number for when you lose the Chocolate Cake Emergency hotline number?!
17/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. Accept nothing less.
17/11 2016
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Good goat times today. The day started out light, but cold. Later it got darker and we got some rain. Typical Danish weather. Managed to sink my entire foot into a mudhole. Now I know why Mia always tries to jump that part. Spent time in the dark forest, watching the goats try to find goat leaves. There aren’t many worth eating left, even on the ground. Later I sat with them under the half-shed as it started to rain. Lazy like a goat, no rush to do anythiing but eat treats and cuddle.
17/11 2016
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Looking for treasure. Maybe I could teach them to find expensive truffles. I have a feeling I wouldn’t be able to teach them not to eat the expensive truffles, though.

17/11 2016
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Oh now I know what happened to the world. We don’t use VHS tapes anymroe so kids don’t see the “be kind rewind” message. We need to come up with a new Be Kind. Message. How about… Be Kind, You #¤&#& %/%%¤%¤. Catchy.
17/11 2016
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Good idea, A38. Stick close to Mulle. Mia and Mio won’t give you any problems.

17/11 2016
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Jakob Stegelmann liked one of my tweets. I know you guys don’t know. But that’s megasupercool.
Also, I miss the days when simple 30 second computer animation seemed like magic.

17/11 2016
—
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Be Kind, Kiss A Blind
17/11 2016
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I’m so tired, I just feel like going to bed.
So I’m gonna. Goodnight.
17/11 2016
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Today will be a good day. Find it and kind it.
18/11 2016
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Don’t mind if I do

18/11 2016
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Just had an issue with Amazon where they accidentally delivered the same item to me twice, and I wrote to them asking what I should do. And I received back basically a five page letter going on about what a valued costumer I am, how sorry they are for the inconvenience, how much they appreciate me and how I’d make a great young Han Solo in a Star Wars spinoff. And that I should keep both items at no extra cost.
Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone was as nice as amazon costumer service?
18/11 2016
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I note with interest that South Park doesn’t know how to pronounce Leverpostej. Pretty good on the frikadeller, though.
18/11 2016
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Please stop calling me “A mysterious foam blob”.
19/11 2016
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It’s 1:50 am and I’m listening to this. Don’t ask me why,.
#LasseLife
I’m not crazy about the singer, but I dig the music. No idea who they are. I’m subscribed to several youtube channels that post live music and it’s quite interesting. Most of it is stuff I X out of after listening for a minute, but then every now and then you stumble across something cool. Broadening the horizons and all.

19/11 2016
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Sometimes when I blow my nose a little air escapes out my eye socket and I don’t know if that happens to everyone or it just happens to me because my blind eye has shrunk also it’s very late and I’ve been trying to say something about peeling my skin off but it doesn’t make sense and
I don’t know how to finish that
19/11 2016
—
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That’s so weird, I thought Justin Hartley was Jensen Ackles.
19/11 2016
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Today will be a good day, and I am completely sane. Ever the optimist.
19/11 2016
—
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I notice you no longer have A38 dominating your screen. Allow me to rectify that.

19/11 2016
—
.
Finished The Secret History of Twin Peaks. Going to write a couple of spoilery observations plus a little half-spoilery speculation about the new series.
[j-cut]spoiler space[/lj-cut]
Okay, I forget how to do lj-cuts. Anyway spoilerspace.
.
.
I really enjoyed it. It was written as if it was non-fiction. An FBI dossier. Written by one of the characters in the original series. You only find out who at the very end. Covering the history of Twin Peaks from Lewis & Clark to native Americans and the cold war and past the timeline of the original show, closing off some lose ends along the way. Very interesting. I was surprised at how much it revolved around aliens. But it made me think of back in the olden days, when I first got the interwebs and started Yahooing things (because we didn’t have Google back then, get off my lawn, kids). And I read about their plans for season 3 if they hadn’t been cancelled. And it was going to be about aliens and stuff. And I remember being fascinated and puzzled and slightly amused because how was Twin Peaks going to turn into an alien show? I’m guessing the ideas from back then are what makes it into this book. And it must be part of what they’ll do in the new show since they’re putting this book out in advance. I guess i’m finally going to find out how they’ll turn Twin Peaks into a show about aliens. Though I’m not completely in love with the idea. I loved all the spooky stuff, the supernatural and spiritual stuff. Having all the spirits and owls and stuff be aliens is not really where I’d wanted that to go. But then speculation in the book is that they’re not just extraterrestrial, they’re also extradimensional. And that they’ve been here long before humans came around. Are the lodges portals back to their own dimension? And where can I get some of that stuff Dr Jacoby was on?
Anyway. Should be interesting.
I’m on popcultural streak of reading .From the Mr Robot book to the Twin Peaks book and now i’m going to start Catalyst which is the prequel novel to the new Star Wars movie. Good thing I’m not a nerd.
MAYDAY
19/11 2016
—
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Should be an interesting week coming up. According to my calculations next Sunday is end of the deadline. Plus minus a couple of days. Then we should know for sure if there will be babies. I must admit right now my guess is that there won’t be any. As big as she is. I might have to put her on a diet. Famous last words.

19/11 2016
—
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goatlog and goodnight

19/11 2016
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

20/11 2016
—
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Stop hitting yourself, humanity. Stop hitting yourself, humanity.
20/11 2016
—
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Reading the big Reddit thread about the Twin Peaks book and apparently this guy is me:
“The section where the smell of motor oil was mentioned around Glastonbury Grove sent chills down my spine and I had to turn the lights up. Something about Twin Peaks scares the crap out of me. Perhaps because I was so young when I watched it (12)? For a while I even hung a photo of BOB in my apartment to try to desensitize myself to him, but still when rewatching the show his face just freaks me out. I’m getting chills just typing this. lol.”
Except I never put up a photo of BoB and I never will because I’m not crazy, as previously established.
Even just reading online about Twin Peaks kinda gives me the willies. So I’d recommend Pence never do that. Boo.
20/11 2016
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My painting of velociraptors playing poker is proving less popular on ebay.
20/11 2016
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End of Facebook. Begin pictures.

And that’s all for this week.