Winter is coming nearer. The mornings are getting darker and darker. I do not like dark mornings.

The first thing I do when I wake up is always to try to check how much I can see. If I can make out the shelf at the far wall. Basically whether I’ve gone blind during the night or not. That’s always the first thing on my mind. And the darker it is, the less I can see. I know rationally that it is simply because my nightvision is very bad, but it’s still hard not to start thinking that my eyesight has gotten worse overnight. So I prefer bright mornings.

And then there is the cold of course. I may have mentioned it a time or two before. But it really does bother me, how hard on me it is now. A few years ago I loved the cold and always longed for winter. Now it’s not even winter yet and it’s barely below 10C, and I feel like I’m freezing. I like to open my windows in the morning to get fresh air in the apartment, but I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep doing that. I feel like I’m turning to ice. It’s not even below 10 and I have to turn up the heat already. Now I know how Skye used to feel. She always complained about the cold. That was one thing we didn’t have in common. Not back then anyway.

I’m going to have to start wearing gloves and sweaters and scarves soon. Today I went to visit the goats and for the first time this season I really felt hindered by the weather. I went inside with the goats. Which turned out to be a good idea, because 10 minutes after I got there it started raining. I had hoped to wait out the rain with the goats, but it just kept raining and raining. So eventually I had to go out in it. Waiting for the bus in the rain. I was shivering cold, my fingers felt like popsicles. And it’s not even November. Oh dear.

On a brighter note, I took pictures today. I can see from my photo album that the last time I took pictures was in May 2009. So that’s a good while ago. I’m not going to get back into photography, though. It’s just too hard now. I can barely tell whether the pictures are blurry or not, whether it’s in focu. And all the work of resizing and cropping and uploading and coppermine administrating. It’s just too much work for something I can barely see anyway. But it was nice to try it out a little again. I do miss it at times. At least I can still make videos with some ease.

The results are in:

Magnethe, Grethe and Hans.

Grethe.

Hans.

I hope they get posted okay, it’s been so long since I posted pictures that I can barely remember how to do it all.

Remember the good old days when every entry had 20 playground pictures? Sigh yes. A million years ago.

Today I had an appointment at the eye doctor.

It did not take long. He looked at my eyes for a minute and we talked briefly about how I was coping with things. And that was that. He will now refer me back to the hospital, to have the secondary cataracts treated. Like the hospital docs, he told me not to expect much good from that. But it’s something I really want done, so I hope I won’t have to wait too long before I get an appointment for it. And that the hospital docs will agree to do it. Last time they said my eye should have some rest first. Hopefully it’s had enough rest now. I know I shouldn’t expect anything, but I can’t help thinking about how (relatively) good my eyesight was the first week after the last operation. If I could just get some of that back…

I’m not allowed to expect anything, but I can at least hope a little. And cross my fingers.