I had a busy day today. I went out on my own, not once but twice. And threw in some exercise biking for good measure. My own private version of a triathlon.

I was planning to try to go to the playground on my own for the first time since the surgeries. But when morning came I didn’t quite feel up to it. So instead I decided to go do some shopping in Føtex in the shopping center around the corner. Just so I could say that I had gone out and actually done something today. And it went okay. Didn’t even bump into anyoe. Imagine how well I’ll do when I get my cane. Oh yeah. Anyway, the weather was beautiful. Sunny and warm. The forecast said that it would be upwards of 30 degrees today. Very hot for these parts. The forecast also said that tomorrow would bring rain and thunder. So I thought to myself I thought “if you’re going to go see the goats then this is really the weather for it, isn’t it?”. And I quickly agreed with myself that yes, today was the perfect weather for a goat trip. So as soon as I had unloaded the groceries in my apartment I went on my way out again. And I managed to cross the road and get on the bus without incident. That was nice. It was a little scary, I must admit. Crossing the road. There is no traffic light there. But it’s a small road. Two lanes, one in each direction. And with a little “island” in the middle, so I only have to worry about the traffic in one direction at a time. I guess the surgeries have helped some. You might remember how I nearly stepped out in front of a bicyclist before the surgeries. I’m pretty sure that today I would have seen if there were any bicyclists coming. It’s still a little scary, but I made it. And I’m glad I did. It was indeed perfect weather to sit and lounge in the sunshine. With a couple of beautiful, lazy goats. Just how it should be.

I think Magnethe has picked up one of Mads’s old tricks. Several times when I was scratching her on the back or her neck she took a few steps forward, so my hands would slide down to her butt. Nothing like a good rump scratch. There was also a funny bit, when she went over and sat down in the shade next to the goat house. She needed a break from the sunshine I guess. Well, inside some of the playground staff was doing some work. I’m not sure exactly what they were doing, but there was some hammering and such. And then they started sawing something. And that spooked Magnethe good, she jumped up and ran right over to the fence, where I was still sitting and enjoying the sunshine. I think even with perfect eyesight I wouldn’t have seen anything more than a Magnethe-shaped blur. She sure didn’t like the sound of sawing. I’d like to think that she ran over to me because she feels more safe around me. But perhaps I just happened to be sitting in appropriate distance to the dangerous sawings. You never know.

But it was a good time. Very warm and sunny, with a slight breeze so it didn’t get uncomfortably hot. And I got to say hello to some of the old gang. Alice, Kurt, Per. With Polka the sheep baahing in the background. I talked a little with Per about how it was going with my eyes. It was nice. And I managed to get on the bus and get home okay as well. So all in all it was a great succes. It is nice to know that I am able to go shopping on my own and go to the playground on my own. If I have to. I will probably still have my dad help me. I know he doesn’t mind, and it’s safer and easier.

It’s good to know I can do some things on my own. And it’s good to know I don’t have to.

I was just going to write about how the blog seemed to be back and running normally, and then it goes down again. Whoops. But at least this time it was a shorter outage and there was no data loss. So fingers crossed that it will run shmoothly now.

What else is going? Did I mention that the hospital referred me to the “sight central” place? They have called me up and we now have an appointment on Monday. One of their workers will come to my apartment and have a chitchat. To see if there is anything they can do to help me deal with my new situation. And by “new situation” I mean the fact that I am going blind. In case you were wondering. We’ll see what they have to offer. I might talk to them about getting temporary glasses while the oil is in my eyes. But at this point I figure it might be easier to just go without glasses until they remove the oils. It should only be another 3-4 months I think. And I guess I’m coping ok. As well as can be expected for someone who can hardly see anything. I can get through the coming months ok. And then hopefully the doctors will take the oil out and I’ll get glasses and then I’ll be able to see. See a little more, at least. At least I hope so. That would be nice. As long as it doesn’t get worse. As long as I don’t go completely blind.

Perhaps I’m going to get a cane. You know, like proper blind people have. I’m not sure I could get myself to use it outside though. I don’t want to attract attention. And I’d also feel a little like a fraud, because, you know, I’m not completely blind. I’m worried people will think I’m blind and then find out I can see a little and then beat me up for pretending to be blind. No no, I now that’s silly. I have just spent my entire life trying to blend into the crowd and not be noticed. I don’t want to stand out. IT’s the same thing with the sun glasses. I mentioned that I had gotten sun glasses to help me against the sight-destruction that the sun does, right? It’s not easy to put on sun glasses either, because I feel like only cool people wear sun glasses. Or people who think they are cool. I’m not cool, and I don’t think I’m cool. I feel like a fraud. But I do need them when the sun shines, otherwise I can’t see antything at all.

What else? I went to the doctor yesterday. My private doc. We decided to get my feet checked out after all. The doc said that they looked okay. But the pulse was a little weak. Especially in the right foot. But we knew that already, decreased sensitivity and blodflow. Nothing new. He gave me a referral to a foot therapist, so I’m going there in a couple of weeks. Let them take care of my feet. It’s not something I’m too happy about. New places and people and all. But these days my social phobia isn’t my biggest worry of course. I don’t want to end up without eyes and feet in 6 months. That would be a drag.

After the visit to the doctor I went to the playground. And said hello to the goats. They seemed to recognise me even though I’m not wearing glasses anymore. They were happy to see me and I to see them. They are one of the few really good things left in my life. Always manage to make me feel happy and carefree, for a little while. Just sitting there on the bench with them grassing around me, coming over for treats and scratches every now and then. That is time well spent.

I don’t even bring my camera anymore. In case you were wondering why I’m no longer posting thousands of goat pictures and videos. I just can’t opeperate the camera very well anymore. Let alone get decent shots. And getting them online and all. Perhaps when I get my glasses eventually, I’ll be able to post some good goatiness. I’m sure you miss being spammed with the same 3 basic shots of Magnethe. I know I do.

In other news, I have had warm supper for two days straight. How can that be when I am almost unable to cook for myself, you may ask? It is because my dad found a local place, a sort of community center thing I think, where they cook for the locals. And where you can take food out. And my dad has brought me food from there. Chicken yesterday and ham today. It’s not amazing food, but it’s warm and varied with vegetables and such. It’s healthier than what I am able to make for myself. And it just goes to show how big a help my dad is, how much he is willing to do for me. Getting food and bringing it to me. It’s not going to be every day. Because I am notoriously picky and afraid of onions and all. But 1-2-3 times a week. Much better than ordering junk food or just getting cold bread. Very nice.

Did I mention that I have started using my exercise bike again? A few weeks since the last eye surgery now, so it should be safe. Just a slow, steady rythm to get back on track. Help get the blood flowing again now that I can’t go out as much, at least not on my own.

I think that is about all for now. I’m glad the blog is back. I felt cut off from the world while it was down. And by the world I mean you guys who read and comment. I’m so used to writing down my thoughts and getting a little social interaction though the blog. It was odd not having that. Good to have it back. Everything’s not lost.