I.. I think I blacked out. again? I don’t know.. I.. I can see I updated an hour ago. Is it another brain fog incident? I found myself not really knowing.. what I’d been doing. What I was planning. I had to check the computer clock. It’s January 1st. About 40 minutes left. I guess.. I stayed up midnight. I slept in my chair. Now i have to piece everything back together again. I.. normally I go check on the goats on January 1st, to make sure they got through the new year’s eve and night ok. But this year I decided to wait until Monday. Which is.. in 40 minutes. Ugh. I feel lost. It’s such an unpleasant feeling. Like I’m lost in my own mind. I don’t even know what I was planning to do tonight. What I have done tonight. I guess I’m planning to go tomorrow morning. Ugh it’s like having to reconstruct a puzzle. All the pieces are just a jumble on the table and you don’t know what’s up and down. I must have dozed off I guess. Now i have to find my way back. It’s January 2nd tomorrow. in 40 minutes. So that’s.. back to normal time, Jeanette coming back from vacation. So I just have to.. find my way back to the routines. Redo the puzzle. Figure out what I was going to do.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m going crazy. Maybe it’s longterm corona effect. Maybe it’s dementia creeping in. Hope you’re all doing okay. I guess I should post this and then.. try to fit the puzzle pieces back together so I know what I’m going to do. Such a weird creepy unsettling feeling.
1/1 2023
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Okay. I think i’m back in my headspace. The brain fog has lifted. Mostly. I hope. It’s such a weird feeling. I sort of retraced my steps just now. I was watching Chelsea Handler’s special. i had that open in my media player, but paused. And I updated my facebook, that post were I was joking about no one in my family having been taken to the hospital in 2023 yet. And then I guess it happened shortly after that.
And it occurs to me. Just before it happened. i think. I had a feeling. That I’ve had before. And that I think i had before the two past brain fog incidents too. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe. I think I have mentioned it before and called it a panic attack. I am not sure that’s actually what it is. Tonight it happened while I was sitting in my comfy chair, no reason to panic. But then panic attacks aren’t necessarily logical, so I guess it could still be. I don’t know.
It’s just really hard to describe. I get this feeling of… deja vue. When it happens I get these.. almost memory flashes. There’s specifically a guy on youtube and the way his voice sounds and there are some mental images, walking along the pillars down the walkway next to my apartment.. these things, like memory flashes.. but feelings.. like deja vue. But the thing is, I can… lean into them. That’s how I describe it. Like if instead of shaking it off I almost let myself dive into it. So it gets stronger. When I do this i get the feeling that I can time travel. Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t think I can actually time travel. But it’s the feeling. I guess it’s because of the memory feeling/flashes that it feels if I lean into it, submerge myself in the feeling, it feels like I can almost physically travel into these .. moments. Now again, I don’t actually think that’s real. If I was crazy I would think i could ime travel or whatever. The fact that I know it’s crazy means I’m not crazy. Right? It’s just that feeling. Anyway. Panic attack. Or whatever. Sometimes it starts coming on, not often, but occasionally. And if I shake it off, especially if I’m out in public, then it goes away. And I’m fine. Sometimes when I do that ‘leaning into it’ I feel it escalate but it then fades away and i’m fine. But I think these 3 brain fog incidents have actually happened.. after I ‘leaned into’ that feeling. Maybe that’s a connection. I don’t know if it’s a panic attack. Maybe it’s blood sugar level. Maybe it’s sleep deprivation, because I stayed up past new years even and haven’t actually been properly to bed yet, I have napped in my comfy chair but haven’t had a proper long night’s sleep.
I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m just rambling. It’s such a weird feeling though, that brain fog. like getting lost in your own head and having to retrace your steps and find you way back. Piece together where you are, what time it is, what you’d been doing, what you were planning to do. But yeah it must have happened when I started getting that dejavue/panicattack feeling. Shortly after updating fb. Hmm hmm. Well. Feeling pretty normal now I think. Tired. It was my plan to have a long nap in my comfy chair tonight. It’s a quarter past midnight now.
Sorry if i worried anyone! I’m sure i’m fine. May need to see the doc soon though.
2/1 2023
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Happy Mio Monday everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

2/1 2023
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Good goat times today. A relief to be back and a relief to see the goats well into the new year. This year was the first time in as long as I can remember where I didn’t go check on the goats on January 1st. Normally I always go to check that they got through the big night okay. But I just wasn’t feeling great yesterday. And there has never ever been a problem with the goats on new year’s eve, so I trusted that there wouldn’t this year either. And there wasn’t. Thankfully. I had to wade through spent fireworks on my way there. Some places I literally had to step around or over because the path was just full of it. On my way shopping later in the day I passed a burnt out car! Don’t know if that happened on new year’s night, but I suppose so. Crazy. Thankfully I did not see any spent fireworks aroudn the playground grounds. And neither did Jeanette, she told me. Oh yes and a relief to see Jeanette again! I missed her. It was nice to get there in the morning and see the goats out. Well. In. It was raining so they didn’t come out. But the place was open and the cluckers were abound. And when Jeanette came over we had a little talk about our how our holidays had went and how the goats were doing. Their care during the holidays hasn’t been the best it could be, but they’re doing well and now we can get back to normal days. With Jeanette and happy goats. That’s all I want. Here’s to hoping for no surprised this year. I would just like some stability, as far as it goes.
2/1 2023
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Here’s to another year with these three goofs.

2/1 2023
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Well, the whole ‘my family hasn’t been to the hospital in 2023’ thing didn’t last too long, as it seems my dad and brother was at the hospital for examiations, my brother’s foot is still a problem. They haven’t been able to find out what’s wrong, but they got him on penicillin which seems to be helping.
Hopefully it’s nothing too serious, but yeah there’s always something.
My rib is hurting too by the way, but it’s not too bad. Only really bothers me when I sneeze or cough, or something when I lean on my arm. It’s fine though.
Got myself some raspberry cheesecake dessert today. A last hurrah as I’ll be trying to get in better shape again. The depression has ‘helped’ me put on a bit of weight again, and I have had some blood sugar measurements that were pretty bad. So I gotta get that under control. Who knows if the brain fog episode was connected to that, although the out of shape thing has been for a while not just this week. Aanyhoo, gotta get back on the exercise bike and stop eating candy. Adult life, that’s what I’m living oh yes.
Possibly soup this weekend though, so that would be grand.
2/1 2023
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New year, same love.

3/1 2023
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HappY Yogi daY everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

3/1 2023
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First goat butt parade of the new year.

3/1 2023
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Happy Hump Day everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

4/1 2023
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goatlog

4/1 2023
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I’m not feeling super. Slept too long. You know I love my dreams. But got up feeling.. off. Kinda shaky. And cold and tired and my rib is starting to annoying me more and feeling sad. Zero motivation to do anything. Just feeling bleurgh. But hey ho, it’s off to something we go. One hoof in front of the other.
4/1 2023
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On a much much brighter note. Thank you so much Deborah Ladd for this lovely surprise! Wonderful photos and lovely words. Good enough to frame! I hardly deserve it. But thank you for lifting my spirits and giving me a big smile on my face! So many many memories and good goat times over the years. Thank you to the Ladds and the gals and lads of fb for being along on the ride.

4/1 2023
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I hope today is a good one. Here is Magnehte from 2005.

5/1 2023
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Good goat times today. Although I’m starting to feel that rib. The pain isn’t excruciating, but it’s just so annoying and uncomfortable. At least it helped me score some sympathy points from Jeanette when we talked about it. Hey, it happened closing the goat door at the playground.. maybe I can get some kind of ..compensation. Like one MILLION dollars. Or a million peanuts for the goats.
Anyhoo. Pretty cold day. It rained A LOT the last couple of days. There were some big puddles on the ground. I think that’s why Milo and Sky did a lot of running today. They wanted to get through that water as fast as possible! We had some fun running around. Mia did it a little too. But she’s still limping a bit. I asked Jeanette if there was any news. She said she still hadn’t gotten a reply back from Lars at the old playground, about which vet they use. She’s had problems finding any suitable ones neatby. hopefully Lars will get back to her soon. i think he’s had covid, and then there’s been the holidays of course. But we really need to get Mia looked at and we need to get their hooves trimmed. Jeanette said if she doesn’t hear back from Lars now then maybe she’ll try asking Merete, the lady who took snl. See what they do for a vet. Hooves crossed we get the hooves sorted soon.
Today we also had the return of an old tradition from the previous playgrounds. But I’ll show you that in picture form in a bit.
5/1 2023
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Whoa. What a tragedy. Rest in peace Jannis Noya Makrigiannis. Only 39 years old. He was the lead singer of Choir Of Young Believers. I have posted their videos on fb several times. I was a big fan. Am a big fan. Damn damn damn. That’s so sad. I think he was part Danish, part greek. And Indonesian? He was a great musical talent.
5/1 2023
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Well that bummed me out. But on a brighter note, we got a christmas tree for the goats. And Jeanette put up a sign telling people if they want to get rid of their trees they can dump them off for the goats. So let’s hope for more. They enjoyed snacking on this one a lot today.

5/1 2023
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Hey hey! Thank you so much Ellen Pulizzi Shockley and Tim for the grinchy card and the lovely message! Merry new yearmas to you <3!

5/1 2023
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And one more card in the mail today! Thank you so much Debbie Wilkins for the adorable card! Thank you for thinking of me, merry newyearmas!

5/1 2023
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I hope today is a good one. Here is a visiting buck from 2008.

6/1 2023
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A little Sky hoof.

6/1 2023
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Happy Caturday everyone. I hope it’s a good one. Here’s Heino.

7/1 2023
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Good soup times today! First soup of the season, and the year. Yum yum. Always good to get together with the family for some of mama’s homemade soup.
They had to send a search party out for me, though. I figured I’d take the bus for a few sops to save the walking. But I guess I misread the bus charts or I just missed it. I ended up having to walk the whole way and now I was late. And I was walking in the dark which is tricky as I see extremely poorly in the dark. Well, I got there. And I was greeted outside by my dad and brother who had gone out to start looking for me. Probably should have brought my phone, whoops! Haha. Well no harm no foul. And the soup was good. Now I have a belly full. And even though I feel there was less leftovers than usual, I should still have for a couple of days of good soup meals. That is always great. I am thankful for soup!
7/1 2023
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goatlog. From when we had snow.

7/1 2023
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Thank you to everyone who sent me a friend request the last few days. Not sure why the sudden influx. If I rejected you or unfriended you again then please accept my apologies. If you actually want to be my friend then send me a message or leave a comment or something. Something so I know you’re not just trying to use me to grow your network.
At some point this year I should probably go through and trim down my friendlist. What’s the point of having all these friends whomst you never talk to and you don’t even know if they are real people or phoney accounts. I feel bad unfriending people, maybe they’re just people who want to follow my goat posts. It’s not like I’m a big talker. But if I can’t tell if your account is a real person or snot, maybe I shouldn’t be friends with you. I don’t know. But rest assured you can prove to me that you are a real person by sending me $50 to this addr..
7/1 2023
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And now for something completely different. It’s

7/1 2023
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Happy Funday everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

8/1 2023
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Alright, I held out till 12:30. Ima need soup now.
Can you believe we’re already past the first week of 2023 by the way? Time sure does fly when you.. sleep it away.
Oh and speaking of good soup, I found a stash of episodes of The Soup I didn’t have. Like 50 episodes from 2007ish. I’m going to watch The Soup while I eat the soup. I love The Soup, it was a good time when reality was a freakshow to be mocked instead of just.. the norm. NORM.
Anyway, soup’s on.
8/1 2023
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Now if only we could get two more rocks lined up there, that would make a good goat butt parade rock scene.

8/1 2023
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A thank you to my friends Debbie and Sam for their lovely christmas card and letter. They are not on the facebox, but they may see this in my blog roundup, and if you do thank you! Have a happy year ahead.

8/1 2023
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Our two white ladies. Mia and Henrietta Solo.

8/1 2023
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That’s all for now.

Happy Mio Monday everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

26/12 2022
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Remember how I said a few days ago that there were pleasantly few fireworks going off this year?
Yeah, well scratch that. It’s going off now. I suppose it’s to be expected in the vacation between christmas and new years. And to be fair I still feel it’s not quite as bad as it has ben previous years. Maybe the supply crisis and high prices have dampened the circus a bit. It’s not too bad really. I only mind when they set off stuff between 3-6 am. Or when they set stuff off right outside my window. Like, I suspect sometimes they actually aaim AT the apartment blocks. I gotta check if my window is ok at some point cos there’s been a few close ones I think. But yeah I really hate fireworks and if it was up to me they’d just be plain banned apart from professionals putting on shows and I guess the night of the 31st. Hope the goats get through it all okay, it’s a new place so I’m not sure what to expect. I’m sure they’ll be fine, but you know you can’t help worrying.
Hope everyone out there has had a good seasonal time and will be safe through the new year. I guess we’re lucky to be living in places where the explosions are mostly for fun. I can’t beleve where the world has gone…
26/12 2022
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A chicken butt parade? Ok just this once.

26/12 2022
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HappY Yogi daY everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

27/12 2022
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Good goat times today. I had a hurt in my stomach as I walked to the goats, just from the anxiety and worry. Because of the vacation replacement caretakers, just can’t help worrying. A bit silly since it’s only been a few days. But what can you do.
The place was closed when I got there so I opened up for the goats and was relieved to see all 3 of them up and eager for treats. Dispelling the visions in my head of opening up and finding them lying in pain or worse. Ugh. Well, I didn’t see any of the staff while I was there. I’m pretty sure they goats won’t get as much time outside as usual in the vacation. Which isn’t great. But it’s a short vacation, we’ll get through that. They had water in their bucket and they were chewing cud and pooping so they must have been eating. Yeah yeah, it’s only been a few days. But I still worry. I wish I had the mental and physical capacity to go there every day and be there all day. I just can’t. I can barely take care of myself.
But anyway. So far so good. We had some time out. Mostly staying in the goat house because the ground was wet and frosty. But we took a little walk around the pen too. And lots of treats and cuddles. Just gotta make it till Monday when Jeanette returns, our hero! And hopefully there won’t be any problems on new year’s eve. I walked to the playground today with the smell of gunpowder in the air. But I didn’t see any spent fireworks in oru around the goat pen or playground in general and it didn’t smell there. So hopefully people aren’t going in there and firing off stuff. Other than the family get-together on christmas eve I really just don’t like this time. It’s cold and dark, pizza places and shops are closed and people aren’t at work and school and there’s fireworks and it’s just all.. not my cup of tea. Sorry to be a grinch, but I wouldn’t mind just skipping staright from oh say December 15th to January 7th. That or hibernation.
Anyway, sorry bout the grumbling. It was good to be with the goats. That’s what matters.
27/12 2022
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Happy to see, these three.

27/12 2022
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Serious photographry.

27/12 2022
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Happy Hump Day everyone. I hope it’s a good one.

28/12 2022
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Good goat times today. There was a part of me that just wanted to stay home the rest of the week and not think about it and not worry and just ignore everything. But then of course there’s the other part that needs to be with the goats, check on the goat,s worry bout the goats, and give the goats some extra time outside. And of course that side always wins. And it was good to be with the goats. Again, I didn’t see anyone else there. But I let the goats outa nd they seemed to be doing fine. Other than not getting as much time outside I think it’s all fine. And only a few more days to go then we’ll be back to normal. And back to having the cluckers out too. I tell you it’s a lot more quiet when the redshirts aren’t around. I’ve gotten so used to them following us around, it’s almost a little strange ‘only’ having 3 goats. I do look forward to everything back to normal, and seeing Jeanette again. Although we stil lhave a couple of months of winter to get through. Right now it’s very mild. It’ll probably get colder again soon. I just need spring with feathers and furs and Jeanette and sunlight, please. Any time now.
29/12 2022
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Three cuties, happy to be let out. By someone with treats.
In worse news, I think I bruised or bent another rib. Sheesh. What’s that the 5th or 6th time that’s happened? I had to lock up after putting the goats back in, and I was having trouble getting the sliding door closed tight enough that I could get the locking pin into the.. locking.. mecanism. Whatever, I had to lean on the sliding door and push and as I pushed my chest into it I felt that sharp pain and the slight pushing of the rib. Ack. I knew immediately what that was. Been there done that. I swear my skeleton is the weakest in all the land. No wonder the docs got me on calcium and vitamin d supplements. Well anyway. It’s not super bad, but it does hurt when I move in some ways or cough. So that’ll take a few weeks. I also have pains in my arm and shoulder that I really need to get the doc to look at. Apparent’y “just hoping it will go away” is not a viable option, no wonder I failed out of pretend med school.

29/12 2022
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Breakfast for Sky.

29/12 2022
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Oh, hopefully there will be good soup times soon. Because of my parents’ various physical ailments and my dad’s alzheimer diagnosis, I haven’t wanted to ask for soup beause I felt that would be a bit selfish and perhaps ill mannered. At our christmas eve gathering my parents brought it up. “So we noticed you haven’t been talking about soup yet..”. Haha. I assured them that I still really want some of mama’s good old homemade soup, and once the holidays are over hopefully we can have some soup dates. Because you know i love me some soup. Soup, there it will be.
29/12 2022
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I hope today will be a good one. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.

30/12 2022
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goatlog

30/12 2022
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Watch out, Milo. I think Mia is hiding behind the door, ready to jump out and spook you. Such a prankster.

30/12 2022
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It’s the last day of the year. I hope it’s a good one. To give us the gravity to help this rock in space complete its rotation, here is grandma, auntie, Palle and princess Mia. Maximum flashback power engaged. Stay safe out there.

31/12 2022
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A double butt salute to the year gone by.

31/12 2022
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Well, it’s been a year. It sure has.
I’m just going to talk about the year that’s gone by, and you know me, I’l ramble and be incoherent. As you were.
It’s been a weird year. A difficult one. I’m talking about my own life, you know what the world has been like. From pandemic to war to awful people and so on and so forth.
On the home front it has been a strange one. Almost like the year has been split into two. The first half I barely remember. It just seemed to be going on auto pilot for the most part. And I thought that was how it would continue. Get up in the morning, catch the bus, walk the walk to the goat pen, hang out with the goats. Rinse and repeat. No reason to change no expectations of change.
And then someone took a sledgehammer to that. And well you know what happened. The playground decided to get their horses back and they weren’t allowed to have both horses and goats anymore, so the goats had to go. And suddenly everything was up in the air and nothing would remain the same. It was scary for a while. I thought I might lose the goats, I thought they might have a bad future, potentially being put down if no new homes were found.
Well, you know how it turned out so there’s no reason trying to build suspense. It turned out about as well as I could have hoped for. I only wish we could have kept all 6 together. It has been hard having to (mostly) say goodbye to Sassy, Lily and Nuller. Like half of my family has been torn away. But they are safe and get to live, that’s what matters most. And hopefully I can keep visiting them on occasion. By all accounts they still have a good life with good people. So I have to be thankful for that. It got vlose to them having a very bad ending.
And for Mia, Milo and Sky things turned out better than I could have hoped. I got them closer to where I live, a place that in many ways is better than the old. There are some questions arising now that the leader Malene has stopped, but hopefully things will remain good. I’m just very grateful that I get to keep Mia, my darling. And her adoptees. And the best thing that happened this year was probably Jeanette coming into our lives. She’s become a good friend, and I don’t have friends in real life. I treasure her friendship and how she cares about the goats and me. That has been really good.
But yeah, the two halves of the year have been completely different. I don’t like change. Hopefully we can have some stability now.
Apart from the goat shakeup obviously the big news in my life was my dad’s diagnosis. We knew something was coming. His memory was getting worse and worse. So it wasn’t surprising but still shocking to learn it is alzheimer’s. And it was pretty tough to hear him say that he didn’t expect to live more than a year or so. Now he’s hoping for 2-3 years. But who knows. Who knows how it will progress. They’re going to start him on an exercise program, both mental and physical. And he’s getting all the help he can. He’s still functioning pretty well i think, but it’s obvious he gets more and more fatigued and he’s having to scale down on things. It’s hard to see him become more frail. But we’ll just have to face what comes. Hope for the best as long as we can.
The familty health in general hasn’t been the best. The parents and brother all had the corona. Mom had to be rushed to the hospital with breathing problems which may or may not have been related to the earlier corona. She broke her back, which sounds more dramatic than it was. But she’s been walking with a stroller thing for a long time anyway. Peter’s got his issues too but I think he’s generally doing pretty well.
And me, well physicaly I had that problem earlier in the year where I got tired very quickly. The lung x-rays showed some kind of.. I forget what it said exactly, some small change in the lung tissue or whatever and that was probably to blame. I’ve also had a couple of incidents where I got brain fog or whatever, where I had to sit down and piece together where I was and what I’d been doing. It does all sound like it could be longterm effects of corona, but the times I’ve been tested I’ve been negative so who knows.
My mental state hasn’t been the best. It’s been hard with all this change and bad news. I’ve mentioned it sometimes but I don’t always talk about how bad it gets. There have been times when I really just wanted everything to be over. I don’t have a lot of hope for the world and I don’t have a lot of hope for myself. And I don’t have a lot of desire to be part of the world. I can’t see it getting much better. I hope it will ge better. The world. Mostly because of the kids of my friends on here. There are people on here I have known for decades, when they had no kids. And now they have kids who are young adults. It’s kind of crazy. But for their sake I hope there will be a better world to inherit. The children are the future, and all that. If it wasn’t for the goats I wouldn’t have a lot of desire to get out into the world. I prefer to bury myself in blankets and dream myself away. I dream better than I live. I long for the bed when I wam outside. I do not long for the outside when I am in bed.
But you know. We soldier on. I thank you, my facebook friends, for making me feel like there are people who care, people that are interested in me and want me to be around. I have an outlet for my feelings and I feel like I can contribute something positive others with the goat posts. There are a lot of bad things you can say about social media, but I really appreciate what facebook gives to me.
There has been sadness on facebook too though. Because of my goat posts I get a fairly big circle of people in my sphere. But there are some people who become closer friends, people who you efel closer to and whose names you recognise and look forward to seeing. And unfortunately a couple of the bigger names have disappeared this year. A couple of important people in our community and in my friend circle has passed away this year. There is one who has sufferend from what my dad may be facing sooner or later. I don’t know how much is okay to say in public. But if you know you know, and you know they are dearly missed. It’s sad. You find yourself losing people you have never met, but they have been a part of your life and the loss is real. And to someone like me who does not have a lot of real life relations it is a big impact. You are missed, friends. Thank you for all you have given.
And that’s about all I have to say for now I think. As the bombs go off outside. Thank you goats, family and friends for helping me limp along. I hope you’ll all be safe tonight. I hope 2023 will be a good one for you. We can always hope for the best. And whatever happens happens. Take it sleazy.
Happy new year y’all. I hope 2023 will be the best it can be for you.
31/12 2022
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An hour into the new year. The constant explosions have died down to almost constant. Slight pauses now and then. I really don’t like this night. But we’re through the worst now I suppose. Normalcy around the corner, whatever that is. Hope you all get through safely. Hope the goats are okay.
Oh and on the subject of family healtha nd 2022. There was one last kicker. My dad had to take my brother to the hospital. His foot started hurting. So much that he couldn’t stand. So a new year’s day trip to the hospital for them. He’s back home and doing okay, from what dad says. They couldn’t find anything wrong with him I guess. I think he’s got a checkup for the kidney (he got that ransplant you might recall years ago now) and they’re going to bring it up then and maybe see if there’s any connection to they kidney or anything. But let’s hope it was just some weird fluke. One last kick in the rear from 2022.
I celebrated midnight alone in my apartment. Eating the traditional kranseoage, that dad had brought me a couple of days ago. And a can of real proper Coca Cola. I like drinking from a can, I rarely do that. But eh, I prefer Pepsi Max to the Coca Cola. Still, you can tell I’m a real party animal. Livin’ on the eeedge.
The edge of the bed.
While I wrote this the explosions outside died down even more. Only an occasional one now. Hopefully they fired it all off tonight so we won’t get too much of it the coming days.
Take care tonight, happy new year, love you loves.
1/12 2023
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Happy Funday everyone. First of the year. I hope it’s a good one. Hope you’re all safely into the new year.

1/1 2023
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Well, the first day of 2023 is almost over. And as far as I now no members of my family have been in the hospital. So. So far so good. Hope you’re all doing okay. One down and.. how many days in a year again?!
1/1 2023
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That’s all for now.