I meant to post this entry yesterday. But then my stomach suddenly decided to explode, more or less. Maybe it was something I ate? Remind me never to accept purple mushrooms from little men in tophats again. Even if they do look yummy. I ended up spending most of the evening in the bath room instead of at the computer. Variety is the spice of life I guess.

Anyway, I wanted to share a little goat funny. It happened yesterday. Not my turn to feed, but I needed a little pickmeup so I went up and sat down in the hay. As usual Mads was keeping close to me, and keeping the others away. So Vanilje and Magnethe were standing up against the opposite wall. Soon enough Vanilje decides to sit down.

And hmm, there’s a bucket. Even though there was no food in the bucket, she still decided to stick her head in there.

That’s not too unusual. Goats are curious. If there is a bucket, then they must examine it for food. But then the funny happened. Magnethe actually started pushing the bucket with her nose, and she ended up turning it over so it was sitting on Vanilje’s head.

Hehe. That’s too cute. Video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=UA8PozNqL1o. I wish I had gotten the actual act itself on tape, that way you could better appreciate how funny it was. On the video you can see Vanilje with the bucket on her head. And you can hear someone laughing in the background… I think that must be Mads. Okay, it sounds like a human laugh. But it can’t be me, I don’t laugh or smile. So it must be Mads. Yes.

Oh those cute goats.

Pretty Magnethe.

And sweet Mads. This is the kind of hug he always gets when he comes up to me. He looks up at me and starts rubbing his head against my jacket, probably trying to get in my pocket, and then I put my arms around him and hug him and scratch him.

Let’s not forget the other animals though.

Dotty, sitting in the corner. That seems to be her favourite spot, when they’re inside. I have found her sitting there several times. Even when the others are all standing up.

Another picture of the giant belgian bunny. When I got inside Æsel was actually sitting there next to her. But as soon as I came over he jumped over the wall, in with the other bunnies and chickens. Maybe he didn’t want to get caught on camera smooching again. Hehe.

Tomorrow is.. pentecost? It seems to be called in English. In any case it’s a day off for me. Praise the lord.

Also praise Katrine, who sent me a lovely postcard from Australia. She’s a Norwegian exchange student down under. How very international! Thank you Katrine. Isn’t it nice how something can come out of the blue, like a postcard from someone you don’t know, and make you smile? It makes me happy that this little blog can mean something, even a little, to others. And that I can introduce the world at large to “my” goats. Sometimes I feel like an ambassador or something. I really want people to know them and like them. And vote for them, when the time comes.

And you know it will come…

Mads for President!

Meanwhile, I am loving the Pumpkins comeback show. It’s like having an old friend back. My past is soothed and smothered in pumpkins songs. I breathe and bleed those lyrics. Even when it’s silent my feet still tap in tune to those melodies. Those songs got me through so many hard times and followed me into a better life. And now they are back, just as I’m close to starting a new chapter in my life. Fitting, like a glove.

Have you ever heard the words
I’m singing in these songs?
It’s for the girl I’ve loved all along
Can a taste of love be so wrong

I am currently listening to the Smashing Pumpkins comeback show. It’s good to have them back. It’s not the same. But it’s Pumpkins. I hope they will come to Denmark some time and that I’ll be able to go. That would be wonderful.

do you.. feel
love is.. real

Oh the good old times.

So anyway. It was surprisingly easy for me to get out of bed this morning. I hadn’t slept too well so I was expecting a minor war with my mind, but my mind decided not to resist the inevitable and it let me get out of bed unharmed. I am getting myself tangled up in metaphors and fantasies.

Tiredness crept up on me soon enough, though. And right now it is overwhelming. But it’s bedtime soon, so that’s okay.

At work I had a nice, little conversation with Peter the boss. He told me that he probably wouldn’t be done with the rewrite of their website before the place closed for summer. And he asked if it would be okay if I came back to do some work on it after the summer break. Because the plan is still that I stop when the semester is over. But I said it’d be fine, I wouldn’t mind that. I’d be happy to help them really. And he said they’d even find a way to pay me. Maybe something about financing a pair of double-strength glasses for me. That’d be nice. We’ll see, I’d do it for free anyway. It’s not like it’s much work.

But yes, the plan is that I stop on June 20th, when the summer break starts. They will send my case to my social worker. Recomending disability retirement. And then I’ll have to wait for the result. It’ll take a while, a good while. Peter said it might be done by christmas. And it might not. So that’s a long time. But while my case is being processed I’m “safe”, I’m not going to be sent out to pack matches in boxes or clean highways or attend courses in public speaking or anything. So that’s fine.

And that’s the future for me. It’s not exactly what I had planned. Early retirement. But I’m happy with it. After what I have been through. After those years alone where I could barely leave the house, where I had no social contact with anyone at all… it will be nice to have a simple life and to go to the playground, whether it be as official skånejob or just as a visitor and help out. The idea of waking up and being happy with the day that lies ahead, that is wonderful. And I’m almost there now.

There’s a bit of a stigma about early retirement, especially when it’s because of psychological reasons. It’s one thing if you break your back and can’t work, people can understand that. But people who don’t know what social phobia is probably can’t quite understand it. But it’s not like I’m planning to sleep all day or sit in the park and drink beer or deal drugs or any other stereotypical things like that. I will spend my time with animals and kids and coworkers at the playground. That’s pretty good to me.

But I will stop boring you with silly things like my future, I know you’re all here to see some goats! Today, some short videos.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mZ4vyfma2Nw. Mads rolling over on his side. It is one of my favourite things in the world when he does that.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3YqqmrzUrT8. A video of the new giant bunny. I should warn you that this video is for adults only. It contains scenes of hot bunny lovemaking. You remember Æsel/Donkey, right? The grand old bunny who is allowed to run around as he pleases. Seems it pleased him to greet the giant belgian bunny with some sexual advances. And of course I am the voyeur with the camera, so I just had to film it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Mw5Q-xTmnlg. The goats again. This is from Wednesday. When I got up to the playground it was closed. It puzzled me, I thought maybe there was a holiday I had forgotten about. I happened to have to use the bathroom so I went inside. And checked their calendar. Saw that there was an out of town meeting. So that explained that. I went to hang out for a bit with the goats. I wanted to let them out. So the video shows me opening the hatch. And you’d think they’d be running out as fast as they could, but no. Mads just stood there and watched. Then he moved back and let Magnethe and Vanilje run outside. And THEN he jumped out. Almost like he was sending them out to test the waters before going out himself. He’d make a good military general I think. Send out the expendables first! When Mads got out, Vanilje came straight back in to say hello to me again. They are sweet those goats.

And that’s all for today. Now it’s weekend, and as the clumsy French waiter on the Simpsons said… I’m going to enjoy this!