{"id":1884,"date":"2020-05-03T15:49:18","date_gmt":"2020-05-03T14:49:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/?p=1884"},"modified":"2020-05-03T15:49:18","modified_gmt":"2020-05-03T14:49:18","slug":"my-descent-into-madnesh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/?p=1884","title":{"rendered":"My Descent Into Madnesh"},"content":{"rendered":"

What a year, huh?
\nLemon, it’s April.
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\n26\/4 2020<\/a>
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\nToday will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.
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\n27\/4 2020<\/a>
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\nShould have worn tin foil hats, maybethe 5Gs wouldn’t have gotten to us
\n27\/4 2020<\/a>
\n—
\n.
\nOkay, I’m shutting down the machines now. Going to go to bed, for a long time. Either to sleep long and dream. Or to toss and turn and feel horrible. Spin the wheel, tound and round it goes. One Like = one sheep counted.
\n27\/4 2020<\/a>
\n—
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\nToday will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.
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\n28\/4 2020<\/a>
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\n.
\nHow’s it doing?
\nNot great. No change last night, in regards to sleeping. I wake up pretty much once per hour. And it’s very much affecting my mental health. My back feels like it’s getting better, but my mind is stressed and depressed.
\nIt’s so weird. I feel like there’s some broken link in my system. Someone cut a wire somewhere. I don’t know. I’m sure the people out there who are used to suffering from sleep disorders are rolling their eyes. I’m just not used to it. I’m used to sleep being my refuge, my escape from reality. I’m used to it being so easy. I feel like.. a world class sportsball player who’s rich and famous and setting records and then one day he breaks his leg and in an instant it’s all over, everything changed. Well, at least my lack of sleep hasn’t affected my ability to come up with excellent metaphors, am I right.
\nI don’t know. It just feels so weird, the way I wake up once an hour like on a schedule almost. I could understand if me being less active because of my injuries would lead me to be less tired and sleep less. But that’s not how this feels. And I don’t feel like I wake up from some pain. And even though I have in the past suffered from some breathing problems at night because my noses get clogged (probably due to overweight) it doesn’t feel like that either. It feels like nothing I have ever felt before and it’s weird and I don’t like it.
\nWell, we’ll see. I’m going to try to go goating tomorrow if I feel up to it. Maybe that will tire me out enough to make me sleep through. But I felt plenty, plentee, tired when I went to bed yesterday, so I don’t really have hope or that. Maybe another day off the extra supplements will help, if it had something to do with that. I don’t have much hope for that either.
\nWe’ll see we’ll see we’ll see we’ll see. I’m just so tired. Of this world.
\nHope you all are doing okay out there. Is there still a pandemic? I can’t keep up with a broken body a broken mind a broken world.
\nLooking forward to some goat therapy tho
\n28\/4 2020<\/a>
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\n.
\nWay behind on the goatlogs. Here’s one from all the way back in March. Back when I was allowed to take the goats out of the pen and when I allowed Nuller to stand on my back. Good times.
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