I wanted to go to the library and pick up the books I have waiting for me. I didn’t. I wanted to go to the playground and see the goats. I didn’t. It’s snowing outside. Calm and pretty. And cold.<\/p>\n
I am not feeling altogether well. I was lying in my bed, looking at my blanket. And it almost felt like the blanket was too heavy for me to lift. Like I couldn’t get out of bed. I just looked at the blanket. The patterns. Sometimes I have to wrap my arms around myself, I’m not sure why. Maybe to feel like I’m being held? <\/p>\n
I think more about dying than about getting well. I hope when I die my sins will be forgiven. I’m not religious, I don’t mean that I want to go to heaven. I just mean… I try to be a good person, but I don’t always succeed. I am sorry for the things I have done wrong, and I am sorry for the things I haven’t done. And they say you shouldn’t regret anything, but I regret a lot. Not that it does anyone any good.<\/p>\n
I am not planning on dying, don’t worry. I just wanted it written down somewhere. Stated as a fact. That I am sorry and I hope you will remember the good things about me.<\/p>\n
The library is closed tomorrow. But I’ll try and go see the goats. Go out in the snow, hopefully it will still be there. And I’ll try to get back to work on Monday. Sometimes my excuses run together. Am I sick? Is it my back? Or am I just unable to lift the blanket away? I’m trying…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wanted to go to the library and pick up the books I have waiting for me. I didn’t. I wanted to go to the playground and see the goats. I didn’t. It’s snowing outside. Calm and pretty. And cold. I am not feeling altogether well. I was lying in my bed, looking at my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/plume.dk\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}