I am currently listening to the Smashing Pumpkins comeback show. It’s good to have them back. It’s not the same. But it’s Pumpkins. I hope they will come to Denmark some time and that I’ll be able to go. That would be wonderful.<\/p>\n
do you.. feel
\nlove is.. real<\/i><\/p>\n
Oh the good old times.<\/p>\n
So anyway. It was surprisingly easy for me to get out of bed this morning. I hadn’t slept too well so I was expecting a minor war with my mind, but my mind decided not to resist the inevitable and it let me get out of bed unharmed. I am getting myself tangled up in metaphors and fantasies.<\/p>\n
Tiredness crept up on me soon enough, though. And right now it is overwhelming. But it’s bedtime soon, so that’s okay.<\/p>\n
At work I had a nice, little conversation with Peter the boss. He told me that he probably wouldn’t be done with the rewrite of their website before the place closed for summer. And he asked if it would be okay if I came back to do some work on it after the summer break. Because the plan is still that I stop when the semester is over. But I said it’d be fine, I wouldn’t mind that. I’d be happy to help them really. And he said they’d even find a way to pay me. Maybe something about financing a pair of double-strength glasses for me. That’d be nice. We’ll see, I’d do it for free anyway. It’s not like it’s much work.<\/p>\n
But yes, the plan is that I stop on June 20th, when the summer break starts. They will send my case to my social worker. Recomending disability retirement. And then I’ll have to wait for the result. It’ll take a while, a good while. Peter said it might be done by christmas. And it might not. So that’s a long time. But while my case is being processed I’m “safe”, I’m not going to be sent out to pack matches in boxes or clean highways or attend courses in public speaking or anything. So that’s fine.<\/p>\n
And that’s the future for me. It’s not exactly what I had planned. Early retirement. But I’m happy with it. After what I have been through. After those years alone where I could barely leave the house, where I had no social contact with anyone at all… it will be nice to have a simple life and to go to the playground, whether it be as official sk?nejob or just as a visitor and help out. The idea of waking up and being happy with the day that lies ahead, that is wonderful. And I’m almost there now.<\/p>\n
There’s a bit of a stigma about early retirement, especially when it’s because of psychological reasons. It’s one thing if you break your back and can’t work, people can understand that. But people who don’t know what social phobia is probably can’t quite understand it. But it’s not like I’m planning to sleep all day or sit in the park and drink beer or deal drugs or any other stereotypical things like that. I will spend my time with animals and kids and coworkers at the playground. That’s pretty good to me.<\/p>\n
But I will stop boring you with silly things like my future, I know you’re all here to see some goats! Today, some short videos.<\/p>\n
http:\/\/youtube.com\/watch?v=mZ4vyfma2Nw<\/a>. Mads rolling over on his side. It is one of my favourite things in the world when he does that. <\/p>\n