Laying low today. Gathering strength for the EEG. I’m sure it will be fine. But you know me. If there’s something to worry about, I’ll worry about it. And if there’s nothing to worry about, then I’ll find something to worry about.
Took the time today to watch Stand By Me. It must be decades since I last saw it. But it holds up. It’s really nice watching a movie with a pretty slow pace. Beautiful scenery. Great cast. Not super dark with frantic cuts and endless cgi. Modern movies don’t work well with my blindness.
So that was lovely. Although as with The Shining, I do prefer the written original. The added depth and detail and the power of your mind, it’s hard for a movie to live up to that. But the chemistry of the boys does add a lot.
And the nostalgia of childhood.. Okay, I’l shut up.
I was hoping to receive a package in the mail today too, the tracking said it would come. But it did not come, tracking has changed to “could not deliver”. So I will have to pick it up at the package shop. I was worried about this because we got notice from the housing association that they would be fixing potholes in the parking lots for the next three weeks. The notice didn’t say anything about whether this would affect access to everything, I don’t know if they close down the whole parking lot or what. But I guess the postman was unable to get in and park. I’m just worried if this will prevent my grocery deliveries. I would not like to go 3 weeks without a delivery. Hopefully if I schedule them during the weekend they can get in okay.
What, me worry?
Alright, I’ll try to relax.
Wish me luck for the EEG. I hope they find something and that it’s something that can be dealt with. Maybe we can put some leeches on my head and suck out the badness.
18/5 2026
—
.
Oh hi. Hello. I didn’t see come in. I am back from my EEG. Spoiler alert: it went fine.
No results yet of course, so there is no important health information in this update. Just me rambling about the trip. Thank you to everyone has offered advice and kindness. I appreciate it.
And first and foresmost, a huge hank you to my mother for helping me today. She came and guided me the whole way there and back. A huge help. I am not sure how I would have coped on my own.
It’s a hospital, but it’s not like.. a building. A it’s a giant complex.
My parents have been there quite a lot, with their own stuff and with my brother’s stuff. But other than my trip to the emergency ward when I collapsed last month, i’m not sure when and if I’d been there. And of course it’s hard to find your way around when you’re blind.
So I was really happy that mom came with.
We took the bus, it has it’s end stop near the entrance we were heading for. We were there in good time.
A very nice lab tech person lady talked us through it. We talked a little about my history, my mother mentioned my brother and father’s possible history with epileptic seizures. Honestly, I’m not sure if that was all small talk to make me feel comfortable and to talk about something while she prepared things, or if it was part of the actual examination, if she noted any of that down.
But I quickly got on a bed and she rubbed sticky stuff on my bald egg, I mean head. And then she applied the 5G nanobot government mind-reading electrodes. And then we got underway.
First there were some tests. I had to do some blinking. And then I had flashing lights fired at my face, while I opened and closed my eyes. I didn’t feel any reaction to the lights. I don’t know if my brain readings during that part will say anything, but I didn’t feel like it affected me at all.
The next part was the worst. I had to hyper ventilate for 3 minutes. Breathe in and out fast. The lady said that it was normal to feel some prickling in the limbs. Yeah. I felt it. A LOT. My hands were going numb and it almost felt like they were starting to cramp. And it also hit my head. My nose and cheek and chin, pins and needles and numbness and just a very unpleasant feeling.
I felt like I was buzzing after that. But then it was time to relax for 15-20 minutes. She said that it would be fine if I fell asleep. I had purposefully not slept a lot last night, thinking I would fall asleep. Well it took me half the resting time to just sort of come down from the prickling numbness in my hands and face. I found it hard to really relax. I did not fall asleep. But eventually I did start feeling normal again and just laid there until it was done. While my mother sat next to me an knitted. She’s a knitter!
And that was that. The hyper ventilating was very unpleasant, but it all wasn’t a big deal. Nothing to worry about. Finding my way was the hardest part of it all.
Unfortunately, they are not going to send me the results. I thought that was how it would work, but apparently not. She said after a couple of weeks it would be in my journal. I think you can check your own journal online in the Danish health system portal. So I guess I’ll see if I can do that and see what it says. She also said you could call the clinic and ask. But I guess unless there’s something that needs immediate attention in the results then I have to wait until September to get more information and see what happens with the examination then.
Oh she also said that the doctor who has my case is really good, and she was sure he’d be able to figure out what was going on with me. So that’s nice. I would have rather find out at the end of May when the original appointment was, but okay. September then. Let’s hope I don’t have too many blackouts before then. If it happens at the rate it has been previously then I’ll probably have 3-5 before September. Or maybe I’m over it now and it’s all good.
Or maybe there will be a cancellation and I can get in sooner.
I’m just glad I got it done. If I hadn’t collapsed and Jeanette hadn’t sent me to the ER, who knows how long I would have put off doing something about this. Maybe longer than September? You never know.
Now I’m going to get me some soup, I think I deserve that.
Again, thank you everyone for the support. I truly appreciate it.
Oh right, one more detail. Other than the hyper ventilating, the most difficult part was… the revolving door at the entrance. Like some kind of goofy comedy movie I had to go an extra round because I couldn’t find the exit on the first try. Because of the blindness I couldn’t see that there was a part that was blocked by glass and it was part of the revolving door so it didn’t open up. I’m not explaining it well, too tired. But basically I did a merry go-round. “I needed some exercise” I told mom when I made it out.
19/5 2026
—
.
Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me. The EEG appointment messed a little with my usual rhythm, but not it’s back on track and going at it. Legs felt pretty good today.
Did some stretches and exercises on the floor too. The really excruciating bad pain seems to be gone. It does seem like those specific stretches I did last time, they do help that problem. This time I better not stop doing them! And I do still have a lot of general problems that have to work on with my psoas massager and other things. But being able to sit down and do nothing and not feel pulled apart by horses, that’s good.
Got a couple of packages from the postman too. Stuff I had ordered. Just glad they got delivered. Not sure what happened on Monday with the package I didn’t get. Still not sure if the parking lot repair was part of the problem. But glad I got the ones today. And it’s always nice to say hi to my mailman, as you know he is a good guy.
I tried making an appointment at the dentist again, but the booking portal still doesn’t work. Forkning. I’ll have to bite the bullet and call them.
But other than that, hey maybe I’ll have my quiet summer. I mean, it would be have been better if the neuro followup appoint hadn’t been postponed obviously. But if I can avoid passing out in dangerous places, then maybe I’ll have a nice and uncomplicated summer and then deal with neuro stuff in September?
We’ll see I guess.
I still haven’t heard for the housing association about my ventilation system. Helle talked to the head service guy and apparently he said he’d call me to find a time to come by, but I haven’t heard anything. So I suppose I have to figure out something there.
Tra la la. I wish I could just live in the goat house and not deal with human. Or maybe be a ghost or something. This human body is nothing but trouble. If I were a ghost I could fly around the world and haunt you all. In the nicest way I mean. Why are ghosts always portrayed as evil? If I came back as a ghost I wouldn’t be mean.
Okay, I may be veering off track here. Let’s say that’s the end of that post.
20/5 2026
—
.
Good goat times today. So good to be back in the goat place, after some days off because of all the EEGing. This is more like it. Lovely day, once the sun broke through. Sitting with the girls. The sun backing on us. The smell of the campire. Jeanette was making.. rhubard compote, I believe she said. Humankids running around and laughing. Pretty pretttty good.
Had a little chat with Jeanette, she of course wanted to know how the EEG went. And she was of course not pleased about the second appointment being moved to September. After finding me collapsed in the street I am sure she also would have liked me to get seen sooner. But here we are.
And some of the laughing kids came in the pen to pet the goats. I was giving them carrot slices right when they came into the pen and a kid was asking if he could hae some. His adult says “The man isn’t from our school so we can’t ask him for things”. But of course I gave the kids some carrot bits so he could feed the goats.
Another girl was happily exclaiming “That one is pooping!”. An announcement that was so improtant it had to be made 3-4 times, with gleeful giigles.
And a group didn’t recognise Sky I guess. Their adult asked me “is that one new?”. And when I said no, she said “but it’s so little”. Had to tell them that Sky is the oldest of them all. People still sometimes think she’s the baby. I feel ya Sky. Short person problems.
That was real nice to get a break away from all the thouhts and worries and depression and all teh rest. After a not great night. I woke up with a sore throat. Thankfully I still have my magic mouth spray, I haven’t had a real problem with sore throats since I discovered that spray. I also had some pain n my right side. Feels like the rib cage. As you may recall, my bones are so brittle that I end up breaking or bruising ribs if there’s a slight wind that hits them. So I wouldn’t even be surprised if I bruised another rib without realising. But I’m not sure, it wasn’t too bad and right now I’m not feeling it at all. So maybe I just.. slept on it wrong.
Bla bla, time to shut up and use my mouth for soup stuff.
21/5 2026
—
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Sunshine on my Sky makes me happy.

21/5 2026
—
.
Luna is enjoying the shine, and hoping some o’ them twoleggers brought snacks.

21/5 2026
—
.
I made it (lucky) 13 days without Pepsi.
Broke the streak today.
As previously discussed, I took Pepsi with my soup today. Man, I missed that dark gold. It’s so gooood, darnit.
Nothing better than a boiling hot mouthful of soup followed by a swig of ice Pepsi Max. Oh boy.
Not completely sure where I’ll go from here. I am not really sure I have felt any improvement from dropping the caffeine drink. So maybe I should just go back to drinking it every day, because I do love it.
On the oother hand, maybe I shouldn’t. I guess for now I’ll try to limit Pepsi to two days a week, with soup. That seems fair. I found three other diet sodas that sort of work for me. Not completely as good as Pepsi, but good enough.
So. It’s been an interesting experiment at least.
It’s no fun when you’re addicted to the poison.
21/5 2026
—
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And then there’s Bella. Still the tireddest goat in all of Denmark.

21/5 2026
—
.
Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Into the groove, working hard. Back off caffeine, rib not hurting. Tired legs, but working through it.
It’s a hot day, so the sweat poured. Hard work, but I’m back in a pretty decent shape. Now I just have to keep going so I can reach my goals. No more rollercoasting, from now on it’s just coasting. Coast to coast. Don’t forget a coaster under that non-Pepsi.
I had weird dreams last night. Arms reach out of the TV. Spooky stuff.
But now it’s the weekend, so it’s time to party hardly.
22/5 2026
—
.
Time for a new What’s Lasse Watching/Reading/Listening To.
My Bowie journey has moved onto Hours. I really enjoyed Earthling. Surprisingly much. Hours didn’t grab me as much on first listen, but it’s growing on me the more I listen to it. It feels a lot more simple and classic than Outside and Earthling. The more I listen the more I like it.
Finished reading Fawlty Towers Fawlts and All by John Cleese. Pretty great stor of Fawlty Towers, which you may recall is my favourite comedy series. Even though it may not be suitable for modern audiences. But if I want to laugh I just have to put on some Fawlty. The book is a funny one. In the weird sense. Parts of it feels like reading wikipedia entries on some of the guest stars, there’s a lot of information that has already been told in extra features. But there’s also super detailed and nerdy background stuff about the writing and making of the show, production notes and stuff about cameras all sort of details. Definitely recommended for Fawlty fans, and not for anyone else. I only wish it was narrated by Cleese himself, even if he is an old curmudgeon these days.
One thing that I learned from reading teh book: There was an attempted American version starring Betty White amongst others. They only did a pilot and it didn’t get picked up. I watched it on youtube. Betty is just way too nice for the Sybill character, there’s no danger in her. And it feels like a rehash of worse versions of jokes from the original. I’m not surprised that didn’t get picked up. But it was fun to see.
After the Fawlty book I proceeded to Rita Hayworth And The Shawshank Redemption. By little known writer Stephen King.
So, after reading The Shining and watching The Shining. And then reading The Body and watching Stand By Me. I got the desire to read Shawshank and watch the movie. Why not? Since Shawshank is part of the same collection as The Body, I figure I might as well just reread the whole thing, Different Seasons. That also includes Apt Pupil, so I figure I’ll read that and watch the movie of that too. I don’t think there’s a movie of The Breathing Method?
I don’t often reread things. I have read Different Seasons before, and I feel like I may have read it twice. Once in Danish decades ago. And then English audiobook some years ago. But rereading and watching the movies seems like a fun idea. And I just really love The Shawshank Redemption movie, the whole point is really that I want to watch that again.
I only wish there was an audiobook version of Shawshank read by Morgan Freeman. I originally reread The Body because there was a new audio version read by Wil Wheaton, and that was graet.
Anyhoo, I think that’s about all of note.
Also been watching some old Mitchell And Webb stuff, but Americans probably don’t know who they are.
Looking forward to getting my hands on the Mandalorian and Grogu movie too, hopefully that will be available digitally soon.
Fascinating stuff, I know!
22/5 2026
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Bella needs a booger check.

22/5 2026
—
.
Got an hour fortyfive on the bike today. So I got that going for me.
Phew, it was a hard one today. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, so I was pretty tired. And my legs sore from the hard session yesterday. And it’s a hot day, one of the hottest of the year yet I think. So it as a cooker. But it feels good to work hard. And my weight is back to birthday levels. This time I’ll try NOT to rollecoaster back up. Keep working at it.
Also got a Pepsi delivery, and again without Pepsi. Definitely the first time the years I have had these grocery deliveries that I have had two deliveries in a row without Pepsi. What is even my life.
23/5 2026
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Hands across goatpenica.

23/5 2026
—
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goatlog

24/5 2026
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Cloudspotting with Bella.

24/5 2026
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Funny thing happened on bluesky. The guy who made the website diaryland back in ancient times liked one of my old posts, because I mentioned diaryland in it. I mention diaryland from time to time because it was one of my first main online presences. I had a geocities website too!
Anyway. My good friend Jen, original creator of Mia’s goat page on facebook, was talking about getting our diaryland pages back online, because a lot of them went offline. Anyhoo, long story short I guess Andrew saw all that and brought my diary.
So I have spent some time reading in it. From August 2000. That’s nuts. It’s pre Y2K, but it’s also a quarter of a century ago. Holy moly.
It’s also extremely cringy to read my first entries. And it’s dark. I was so angry, so bitter, so lonely, so hurt. Unlike now! Haha. Well, some things have gotten better, some have gotten worse. I had two eyes and no daibetes back then. But yeah, I was in a severely dark place back then. It’s a slight miracle that I lived through that.
And there’s also a lot of stupidity and inappropriateness in those old entries.
But I am so thankful I started that diary. As an outlet for my feelings. And as a means to connect with other people. Some of my best friends to this date were people I met on diaryland. When people wrote about their days and their feelings, instead of a constant stream of memes. Some things were better then. A lot of things were worse.
It’s pretty srange to see yourself back in time like that. Looking at yourself and hardly recognising what you see. No goats! How bizarre.
I am sure kids today can’t even imagine what a revolution it was when the internet came about. They must take it for granted now. Born with instant access.
Okay, I probably shouldn’t go into an even longer ramble about the olden days. I just want to thank the diaryland kids who are still around. From diaryland and livejournal and myspace and geocities and netphoria and wherever else we grew up.
Hey, I started on teletext! MTV Europe’s Spit It Out. Does teletext even still exist?
Ok ok. I’ll shut up. I’m just thankful that I was pulled out of loneliness and able to make connections with people, that was something I was unable to do in real life back then. The people I connected with online saved my life.
I just wish I could put some white text on white background in a facebook post.
24/5 2026
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.
—
That’s all for now.

Good goat times today.
I needed that. Didn’t have the bet of nights last night. I was in a lot of pain. About a month ago or so, I was having big back pains even when I wasn’t doing anything. They went away, I’m not sure if the stretches and exercises I started doing that fixed them. But I stopped doing those. I don’t know if that’s why the pain came back. But it was pretty bad last night. Just lying in bed, it was back pain but it felt like my whole body. Made it hard to sleep.
I did some stretches in bed, and I think I took some painkillers. I am not even sure now. Eventually I did get some sleep. But it was not the nice decaffed night’s sleep I had hoped for, not the start of the week I had wanted.
But thankfully the goating was as good as ever. A bit chilly, I probably should have worn a jacket. But there was a lot of sunshine and it felt very good.
Sky was very bleaty today. She can be very chatty, but usually in bursts. Today it seemed like she was constantly roaring. She’s my sweet girl, and loud girl.
Jeanette dumped off a few new pine trees, so the goats got munching on those. And we had sweet visitors, kids running around in the pen.
It’s funny how kids will sometimes just make up their own stories about the goats. One of the goats, it was probably Luna, must have been headbutting the kids because suddenly they were all going around saying “the other one is pregnant and this one is the father and he got mad because you were touching his wife and he’s protecting his wife and the baby because his wife is pregnant”. Oohkay. Haha. The goats have actual lost some weight I think, but I guess some of them can still pass for preggers…
Another common thing is calling the goats Messi and Ronaldo. Those are soccerball players in case you didn’t know. And they are often referred to as G.O.A.T. Greatest of all time. I am not fond of that abbreviation. I don’t care how good any human is at any thing, they do not qualify for goat status and that’s a hill I’ll berry on. Anyway, if it was up to local kids, most of our goats in the past decade would be called Messi or Ronaldo.
But it’s fun to hear them spin their tales. And the goats are just like, whatever just feed us.
Speaking of, I’m going to feed myself some soup. My pain right now is more normal level. Not the complete crippling body pain. So that’s something.
Soup’s on.

11/5 2026
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Loudbleater Sky. She had a lot of opinions today.

11/5 2026
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Ooh here comes Jeanette with a fresh batch of pine. While Bella patiently waits. Mostly because she cna’t knock the fence down.

11/5 2026
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Not on the first date, Luna! She’s such a little goofball.

11/5 2026
—
.
Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me.
Felt strong on the bike, that was nice. I did not feel good last night. The pains got really bad. Sort of starting in the lower back, but then reaching all the way up to my upper back, shoulders, down to my legs. Just felt like my whole body was being pulled apart by horses. I feel really bad for people who have that level of pain on a regular basis and OTC painkillers aren’t enough. I can understand how you’d get addicted to stronger painkillers. Thankfully I was able to take some basic painkillers, once I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. And they helped. It’s really hard when you feel you can’t be in your own body. My normal back pain usually comes after activity, and I can lessen it by going into certain positions or just sitting down and relaxing. But this pain is just tearing me apart when I’m just sitting still and no positions seem to really help. How do you deal with that…
It must be nice to have a good body. I don’t mean a strong athletic one, I don’t mean a hot one that makes people go hubba hubba. Just a body you don’t notice. A body that doesn’t make itself heard, that doesn’t hurt, that doesn’t make you ashamed to go out. Just a body that’s there and does its job and goes unnoticed. But I don’t know, maybe no people have that. I’m sure most people have something that bothers them.
Anyway, that was a tangent. Once I couldn’t take it anymore last night I took the painkillers, and they helped me through the night. I felt strong on the bike today, but I felt the pain starting to come into my body towards the end. Did a lot of stretches and exercises on the floor after biking. The last time I had these bad pains they went away after a while, I hope it was the stretchercising and I hpoe it will help again now that I’m starting up with them.
Maybe it will help to drop some weight again. It’s been a crazy rollercoaster ride since my birthday. Pretty much puting on 10 pounds then losing 10 pounds then putting on 10 pounds. Now I’m about halfway through losing 10 pounds again. Hopefully I can keep at it. Lose more and then get stable. That’s the goal.
Oh and I’m halway through day 5 without caffeine. Missing m dark mistress Pepsi. I am not sure if I feel a benefit. I’ll try to keep it going for a few more days. I feel like I’ll probably go back to the Pepsis though, even though it’s dumb. Maybe I’ll just have Pepsi on soup days? I know I talk about soup a lot, but I only actually eat it twice a week, sometimes 3 times. So, maybe I’ll have Pepsi on those days. At least that would limit the caffeine intake a little. I tell you what, there’s nothing as good as taking in some boiling hot soup (I usually start eating it while it’s so hot that it literally burns my mouth) and then following it with iced Pepsi Max. It’s exquisite.
Anyhoo, we’ll see.
Sorry about all the complaints. I’m sure nobody reads through all this, I don’t know why you would! I know I complain a lot. But it helps me to get it all off my chest. I appreciate there are people who are about me. Love uou loves!
12/5 2026
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Stuck in the middle with goats. That’s where I want to be.

12/5 2026
—
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goatlog

13/5 2026
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.
Got an hour fortyfive on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Phew, it was harder today. Legs tired after yesterday’s long session. But I did the work. I’m happy about that.
Starting to feel stronger. After the biking I got down on the floor to do back stretches and exercises. So we’ll see how that goes. I had to take painkillers yesterday, both in the evening and at night, just to get by. Haven’t needed it today yet. I’ll probably need some later. But I hope the work to improve will pay off.
At least I’m putting in the effort.
Missing Pepsi and cake, tho.
13/5 2026
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Good goat times today. Back to the goat place where I belong. A bit cold today, the sun struggling to break through clouds. But it did get through a lot. And I made it home before it started raining.
Got a bit of a workout too, chasing goats. It’s a holiday, so no Jeanette. The replacement guy came and gave the goats their water and I told him I’d take care of feeding them. So he thanked me and moved on to other chores. But. He didn’t close the gate to the pen properly. So soon after we had three goats out of the pen. Normally if the goats got out of the pen it wouldn’t be a problem really, I’d let them run around a little and get them in eventually, maybe with their breakfast bowls.
But the guy was feeding the chickens next and the goats had followed him and I was worried they’d start eating chicken feed. The guy didn’t seem to care about any of it at all. Not everyone is as mindful and great at taking care of animals as Jeanette…
Anyway, as I said normally it wouldn’t be too hard to get the goats in eventually. But when you want to get them in RIGHT NOW and you start running around and chasing them, well then they definitely DON’T want to come back in. So I spent 10 minutes or so chasing goats. Had to drag Luna in by her collar and then take her collar and sneak it on Bella and drag her in. But I got them in.
Phew.
Later on I was brushing berries off the podiums and something funny happened. I had swept one side of one podium and moved to the other side and started brushing there. And then Sky came running, jumped up on the podium and proceeded to let berries fly all over it, and then she jumped back down and walked away. Sheesh. I wish I had the camera going, it was pretty funny. I’m not saying she did it on purpose but… well, at least she didn’t poke her tongue out at me.
And now I need me some soup, dontcha know. I’m still off the Pepsi. Sigh. But the soup will be good.
14/5 2026
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A little SkyTime with the rude pooper.

14/5 2026
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It’s a good thing I don’t use that head for anything important…
14/5 2026
—
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Today is Kristi himmelfarts day in Denmark. Enjoy those himmelfarts as they ascend!
Sorry for the blasphemy. Happy Ascension day to those who partake.
14/5 2026
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Great. I just got notified that my second neuro examination has been moved from May 28th to September. That’s.. a pretty big shift.
I still have the EEG scheduled for next week. I’m not even sure what the second one really is, it just says “examination” in the papers, no details about what they’ll be examining exactly.
Ugh. I have a right to be seen within 1 month, so I can get an appointment at a private hospital instead. But that’s in a whole other region, I’m not sure how far away exactly that is, but it would probably involve travelling, maybe overnight stay.
I.. don’t think I want that.
And. I guess. I’m feeling ok most of the time. I still have the EEG next week. So. I suppose I’ll do the EEG and see if that comes up with anything. And then I’ll just have to make it to September and hope my brain doesn’t explode or I don’t pass out in the street again, and if I do that Jeanette is there to help.
Sigh.
I don’t understand how they can first give me an appointment in May and then move it to September.
But the EEG is still on, maybe that’s the important one.
Oh well.
Life is what happens while you’re busy trying to avoid making other plans.
15/5 2026
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Got an hour ten on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Cut my session short today because I have other things on the agenda.
I talked to my mother about the chaging of the neuro appointment, and she told me something interesting I didn’t know.
Apparently my brother had some kind of possibly epileptic incidents when he was younger. In school. Mom said he would be sitting in class and seem to be listening to the eacher, but afterwards it was like he’d been in a trance and he couldn’t remember anything that had been said.
That sounds quite a lot like on of the variants of my attacks, or whatever they are.
When I have my spells I seem to either collapse and may pass out, like what happened when Jeanette found me and I got sent to the emergency room.
Or sometimes I seem to go almost on autopilot, trance like? It has happened at least twice while I have been around other people. My dad and Jeanette. And both times they have noticed me being a little off or so, but not enough that they realised anything was wrong. And both times I had zero memory of seeing them when I came back. That sounds kind of like what happened to Peter, my brother.
Apparently my brother stopped having those spells at some point. Mom also mentioned that my dad had something like that when he was a kid too, but she didn’t give me much more details about that. And she didn’t seem to think it was super important. But it sounds like it could be kind of significant, if there’s a family history of these kinds of things. Although with both Peter and dad it was when they were kids. And of course I don’t know if it’s the same thing that’s happening to me.
But yeah, we better bring that up to the neuro docs. I don’t know how much they ‘ll talk to me during the EEG thing next week. If they’ll just do the scan and send me home or if we’ll actually discuss the whole thing more in depth. maybe the second appointment was to discuss it all more.
Anyway. I guess we’ll see how it all goes. One day a day. It’s not like I’m going crazy or anything, that’s what the pigeons on my balcony tell me. I know I shouldn’t consult them about medical advice, but honestly they’re not great at small talk so I prefer to keep it professional.
15/5 2026
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Triple goat score. Again you may need the zoom to win Where’s Sky.

15/5 2026
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Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Back to fairly fit now, working hard. Feeling stronger, mentally too. Not waking up every morning thinking “Just give up, stay in bed, then get up and order pizza cake”. Now I think “Let’s get up and I can work out and get fitter”. Yeah yeah, I’m a well oiled machine now. Okay, a broken machine. But a well oiled broken machine.
At least I’m putting in the effort. To give myself some credit. So far I have been able to come back from all the setbacks. What’s the Rocky saying, it’s not how you fall it’s how you get back up?
Let’s hope I can keep at it now. The EEG thing may pose some mental challenges, we’ll have to see.
Today I also got a Pepsi & cucumber delivery. WITHOUT PEPSI. I know, it’s a mad mad mad world.
I have been using the grocery delivery service for years now. I think this may be the first ever delivery without any Pepsi Max. This is my 9th day in a row without Pepsi. Has it made any difference without the caffeine? I am not sure, to be honest. The pain influx has made it hard to tell if I’m doing better really. But I think maybe I have been sleeping a little better? I think I’m going to keep going without Pepsi for a little while longer. Maybe till after the EEG. And then I tink I’ll probably do as I previously talked about, drinking Pepsi on days when I have soup. So mostly two days a week. And to be clear, I’ll be drinking replacement diet sodas on the other days, so I’m still poisining myself. Just not with caffeine. I am not in a place where I feel I can do without the sodas. Maybe some day, but not right now.
Speaking of the pain, how’s that going? Well, I don’t want to get too optimistic becaus that’s when life kicks in the nads. But I feel like maybe it has gotten better. I have been doing a lof of the stretches that I think helped in the past. And I think it has helped maybe. I’m still taking painkillers sometimes. Yesterday I took some before bedtime, but mostly as a precaution. I hadn’t needed them all day. So that’s an improvement. I mean, I still have back problems, no doubt. But the constant bad pain even when doing nothing at all, that’s really hard to deal with. So I hope that’s gotten better. Cautiously optimistic.
I think that’s all for the health update. Next week of course is the big EEG. So that will be.. interesting.
16/5 2026
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Bella, the tireddest goat in all of Denmark. She could have used a pillow there.

16/5 2026
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Dramatic sky (not the goat, that’s Bella) from Thursday. The dark clouds and the rain moving in to chase the sun away and cover the blue skies. One white cloud trying to hold back the dark.

16/5 2026
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goatlog

17/5 2026
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Taking it easy today.
I tried making an appointment at the dentist. Now that the second neuro appt is postponed, I should have capacity for a dentist visit soon. But. The dentist’s online booking platform did not work. Ffffk. So now I’ll have to call instead. Which I hate. Talking to people on the phone triggers all my anxieties. I really prefer an online system where I can sit and look at available times and consider what fits best with my schedule and needs. Oh well.
I also took some time today to look at my old history, about the blackout. Since I turned my blog site into a facebox archive I can go back and easily find important events. I have a document with like a calendar and headlines and stuff. So searching for blkacout incidents was pretty easy.
So I could go back and find the first recorded incident. August 8th 2022. And then there were 7 more incidents until May 11th 2023. And then one in November 2023. And then nothing until this year. I wish I could pinpoint some kind of common denominator, some obvious vause and effect. Maybe it’s just random. I don’t know. It was interesting reading back to my first facebook posts about it. How scary it was when I didn’t know what was going on. Okay, I still don’t know really what’s going on. But now when it happens I’m like “oh I blacked out again, let’s get back on track”. But hey let’s hope it doesn’t happen anymore. Maybe the EEG will show something. Maybe my brain has been replaced with a cup of noodles, you never know.
Anyway, no big plans for today. Just starting to gear up for next week’s big event.
Hope you’re all enjoying your weeked end.
17/5 2026
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The grass is always greener…

17/5 2026
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That’s all for now.