Before
November 9th, 2025Oh hi. Hello. It me.
I got the keys to my new apartment.
I got through today’s thing.
I am not sure how I am feeling. I am very very tired. I feel emotionally wrecked. Things went mostly.. fine. There were some hiccups. There are things I’m not happy about. But I’m glad I got through today.
The short version is, I got they keys. I have access. I can start moving in. It was emotionally a lot harder than I thought it would be. My idea of getting the moving of things done in a day or two and have time to do other stuff this week, I am not sure I’ll be able to do that. I feel wrecked from just today with no actual moving. I think I will need to take the whole week, and not have capacity for much else. But today’s business is done.
So let me ramble on for ages about it all in more detail, for those who care.
Oh man. It was weird. Seeing that empty place. Knowing I’m going to be shoved into it. My life is going to be jammed right in there. A week from now, if all goes to plan.
I have the place now. I guess that’s good.
I am not happy about all the fancy electronics that the renovation has brought. No more keys. There is something perverse about the idea of not having a key to your front door.
I mean, I have a little electronic thing. What’s it called? We call it a ‘brik’ but brick doesn’t sound right. Like a keycard, but it’s not really a card.
Anyway, you hold it up to the lock and it unlocks. And that’s all very smart. Except the lock runs on batteries, ordinary double A i think. I just know some day I’m going to end up not being able to unlock my door because the batteries are dead.
And while I’m happy to have an oven, the new induction hot plate things on the stove, they are way harder to work than my old hotplates. You don’t have to push the buttons, you just have to move your fingers over them to turn them on or off. And it’s virtually impossible to see.
All this modern stuff that’s supposed to make lifer easier, why isn’t it designed better for blindies?
Hopefully I can get used to it all. I guess I’ll have to.
One thing I’m really worried about it how to let in visitors. I thought there would be buzzer or a door phone. The downstairs main entrance also has to be electronically unlocked. I thought there was some system to unlock it when people buzzed from downstairs. But I couldn’t find anything like that. I was apparently supposed to have gotten some “lock guidance” papers with my contract and stuff, but I don’t think I got them. I’m going to call tomorrow and ask them to mail me a copy. Maybe that will make things more clear. Hoping Helle maybe can explain some stuff to me, I believe she lives in a renovated apartment.
I worry too much. I know. I’m sure it must be possible to work things, people do. So must I.
We didn’t get off to the best start today. I got out of the shower after preparing for it all and I found a missed phone call and an email saying “Since you didn’t show up for today’s scheduled inspection and giving out of keys, please contact us to make another appointment”
And my heart sank and i went noooo, things are already going totally wrong.
I called the number that I had a missed call from and talked to them. Apparently they had changed the appointment from 1.45 pm to 1 pm, and they hadn’t informed me. So that was great. Now that I think about it, I had a missed call on Thursday or Friday. I regularly get spam calls, so if I miss a call and people don’t leave a messsage or call again, I don’t usually call back. I guess that call was probably them trying to notify me of the change of appointment. But they didn’t leave a message, they didn’t call again, they didn’t send an email. Did they just figure I’d magically know that they changed it?
Ugh. Luckily the inspector had another availability at 2.30 pm. So only 45 minutes later. I am so glad it didn’t have to be rescheduled to another day. That would have been really awful, after all the worrying and preparing.
So I called Peter, the guy who came with me to the first meeting with the housing association at the beginning of it all. Since Helle is still occupied, Peter came with me instead. And I am thankful for that, he was a big help. But i called him and said the appointment was postponed. Luckily that wasn’t a problem.
So I got there for the appointment, Peter and the inspector, Dennis, were there. And Dennis gave me the keys. And we went inside. First he showed me my storage room in the basement. It feels a lot nicer than the one in my current building. I may even end up using it for something, if i have stuff to store.
Then we went to the elevator. The elevator is not as easy to use as in my current building. But it’s ok, I should be able to use it okay.
We got up to the 6th floor. And Dennis showed us in. We went through some basic things and how they worked. The state of the apartment. Most of it was reated 4 on a scale of 1-4. The floors newly.. sanded? Grinded? Whatever it’s called. Things painted. Good condition all around.
He showed me how to work the electronic lock. How to change batteries. You can set a passcode too, but he didn’t explain much about that. Apparently that’s in the lock guide, that I’m pretty sure I never got. I wonder if you’re supposed to give that code to people that you need to let it. But that code works both for the downstairs main entrance and to your own front door. I don’t want to give out a passcode to my door to let people into the building. I wonder if the mailman has his own code. Moslty I worry about my grocery deliveries. Do I have to give them the passcode? But I don’t want the delivery guy to have a passcode that will let him go into my aprtment whenever he wants.. ugh. I hope I can figure all that out.
Unfortunately it didn’t occur to Peter or I about the lack of a buzzer until Dennis the inspector had left, so we couldn’t ask him.
Well, hopefully the lock guide will explain further when I get it.
Anyway, after some general advice and instructions and looking through at everything, Dennis left. And then Peter and I spent some time going through the apartment. And he helped me figure out some basic things, how to work stuff. He lives in another housing association place, so he doesn’t really have experience with this particular type of apartment. But being able to see things makes stuff easier. So I was really glad to have him there and he was very kind and helpful.
After we had covered everything we could think of, he left.
And I was alone in my new apartment. And the first thing I did was lay down on the floor on my back and stare up at the ceiling, feeling very overwhelmed.
I am not feeling too happy. I am sad I have to be yanked out of my apartment where everything is comfortable and safe. The thought of having to get used to all the new things is not nice. Most things seem like downgrades. The kind of things taht are actually upgrades and most people whould be happy to have, but for me I just want the things I’m used to and that I know and am comfortable with. I suppose I will get used to the new things. I will have to learn ho it all works and get comfortable with it.
I said that this apartment was a little bigger than the first one I was offered. I have to take that back. They’re the same size. I think maybe it was because the first one I saw was completely empty while this one had furniture when I saw it. I think that’s why they felt different. Because they are the same size. Which I believe is a little smaller than my current one. But I’m not even sure about that now, maybe it’s my own furniture tricking me. Not that it matters, I have to get used to the space there is.
The magic curtains are cool. Though I am not sure if they can completely keep the sun out. I will have to see it on a sunny day. I wonder if I will need to put my own old drapes there, maybe Helle can help me with that since she has a drill. I will have to take the drapes down at the old place in any case. I don’t know if the magic ones are enough, I’ll have to see.
There’s a couple of light buils in the bath room, but not a fluorescent tube light like in my current bathroom. The bulbs give worse light. Not too happy about that. They also seem like they will be harder to change, but I’ll have to cross that hurdle when I get to it.
No batteries in the doorbell. And Peter couldn’t figure out to get the doorbell thing opened. We’ll have to see if we can get that figured out. Maybe people will just have to knock.
I think those are the main notes, from the first impression.
As I said, I think the moving part will be harder than I thought. I feel wrecked and fragile from today. I will jsut take it slow over the course of the week probably. Give myself a lot of time here, in my current apartment. Theoretically I shouldn’t be spending time living here after next Monday. If all goes well.
Tomorrow the first order of business is taking over the internet stuff. It would be really really really nice if that would just work, without complications. I don’t want to deal with internet support calls on top of everything. If it does work smoothly then I can start carting over stuff. While waiting for my appointment today I moved most of my clothes from chest of drawers to the storage boxes where I will be keeping them. So they’re ready to be moved. And then it’s just.. bit by bit. See how it all fits.
Another couple of mishaps as I was leaving. Kind of funny, I didn’t realise the elevator has two doors, one on each side. So I was standing there looking at the door as the elevator reached the bottom floor. And the door didn’t open! And I was like oh great now I’m stuck in the elevator, I guess this is where I live now. Then I pressed the button again and found out that the door behind me opened. So I got out.
Outside I wanted to open my mailbox. That also does not have a key. And I could not figure out how to open it with my electronic key. Using it on the lock for the entrance door didn’t open the mailbox, and I couldn’t get any reaction probing the electronic key all over my mail box. I stood there for more than 5 minutes, trying to get something to work. Tnen a car came into a parking slot and a couple of people got out. I asked them if they could help me figure it out. And they showed me the part off to the side where I had to swipe my electronic key to open the mailbox. And that’s how I first met a couple of my new neighbours, although I’m not sure exactly where in the building they live. They seemed very nice. Asked me if I was moving in, and said welcome when I said I was getting ready to do so. So that was quite nice.
Yeah yeah I think that’s the whole story. My depression has incread, but at least I got through it today. Hopefully I can figure everything out, hopefully everything will work, hopefully I can get used to it all.
It wasn’t easy today, but another step taken forward.
I will try to put up some photo or video in a bit. It’s not too interesting. The view is certainly a lot better than my old place. But it’s still just.. construction and other buildings. It’s not really what you would call beautiful. But on a sunny day it might be quite nice.
Thanks all for listening, if you did. As always, it helps me to write stuff out. And all your support really helps me deal. Thank you.
Time for soup and sleep and then more work.
3/11 2025
—
.
Here is a bit of video from the new apartment. Not much to see, obviously. I thought about editing out the beginning. I hate my voice, and I could barely speak at first so I said hello twice. Maybe you can tell I was a bit overwhelmed and wrecked.
But that’s the place. Small. But about the same as my current place, I don’t need more space than that.
Not the most exciting view, but it’s out there. Better than a Torquay hotel window.
3/11 2025
—
.
Phew. It’s been a day. And more to come.
Getting ready to shut down for the day.
I talked with Helle about the electronic lock and door phone thing. At first she confirmed my dread, that you buzz people in through an app. Dang smartphones. But after some more talking she told me that it works on a dumbphone. Without app. I don’t really know how that would work.. but hopefully she’s right. She’ll be coming over and helping me with it, show me that it works and how. Once again, I am president of the Helle fan club.
Also a shoutout to my mother. Previously when we talked about my new place she had mentioned that there might be those induction hotplates on the stove. So I wasn’t completely unprepared for it. And when I got home today I called her and asked if maybe she could find me new pots and pans. With everything I’m dealing with I just don’t feel like I have capacity for kitchen supply shopping. And I know my mom is good with that stuff, many years of working in kitchens, profesionally and privately. So I figured she’d know about that. And she was kind enough to tell me she’d find me some. So I don’t have to worry too much about that. I should have stuff that works when I move in.
Tomorrow is the big internet test. You know my fatalistic mind is dreading that. I hope it will work and not be complicated.
I also need to contact the housing association and ask for them to send me that Lock Guide, I’m pretty sure I never got it. Makes me wonder if there is other stuff I haven’t got. I feel like they have generally treated me fairly, but there have been annoying stuff. Like when the documents I got originally for the apartment offer said it was a temporary place because it had to be renovated. That was wrong. One mail didn’t even have the attached pdf with information about the offer. The appointment change without being notified. There was an email I sent with a question that i got their auto-reply to but I never got a real reply. Cleared that question over the phone while talking about other stuff. Little inacuracies and documents that don’t seem to be up to date. Like, one of the documents was about available internet connection options, and then you go to the site they refer to and the speed/price options are different from the ones they sent in the pdf.
But anyway, hopefully no more mixups. An talk to Helle has calmed me down a little about the door phone.
And as I mentioned, I’m planning to take the move a little slower. I am feeling oerwhelmed and very tired and scared of the future. I think doing stuff in the morning and up around noon, and then relaxing at ‘home’ for the rest of the day, that should be okay when I have the whole week. I’ll see. If the internet stuff goes well then maybe I can get a good deal of stuff done tomorrow. But, small steps. Bit by bit.
I’m doing my best, even if I’m having a hard time.
Thank you all again for the supportive comments. I appreciate it. Hope you’re all doing well. Sorry if I’m missing stuff. But right now it’s a pretty narrow world. I feel like that finishing line keeps moving, but i’ll get to it at some point!
3/11 2025
—
.
That’s it. I quit for the day.
Progress is a little slower than I had anticipated.
Two important takeaways from today:
1) I am struggling
2) I got internet working at the new place, which is a giant huge relief, that was one of my biggest worries. So that’s something to be happy aout.
Now I’m going to go into great detail, as always rambling along the way because it helps me to get it written down. The short version is: Internet works at the new place, I have started moving some stuff over, still lots to go. Having a hard time mentally, but carrying on.
Deep breath.
It took me longer to get the internet running than it needed to. Mostly because of my constant worrying and overthinking things. It was actually really easy. But I still made it hard.
Let me tell you how the chase for the finishing line went today.
Got up and had breakfast (protein bar and bananas). Did prep work for the internet stuff. And by that I mean going over all the instructions and information and pictures over and over again to make sure i was prepared. Putting stuff on a USB drive to take with me to have all the stuff I would need.
Then it was time to do the first carting. Not mario kart, just shopping cart full of stuff. I already had the cart full. One of my old computers. Literally an outdated piece of junk, not worth anything in today’s age. But I managed to install Windows 10 on it when i was cleaning and testing earlier this year. So it would do as a test machine. Brought my spare monitor and mouse and keyboard.
And then I took the cart out for the first time. Of course me being me, I had to worry about if i could get it ovet there okay, if it would fit everywhere, if it would be too hard to push. Always worrying. But it was fine. As hard a time as I’m having, I must say it’s a blessing to be moving so short a distance. Literally a minute to push the cart over there.
That all went fine. Unloaded the stuff in my new apartment. Hooked it all up. Booted the computer to see if it worked. It did. Transferred some stuff from the USB drive to the computer.
And then it was time to get the internet hooked up. And by that I mean it was time to stall as I panicked, convincing myself everything would go wrong. I got stuck at the SIM card part. I hate these SIM card things where you have three sizes in the same card and you have to punch out the correct size. Now, I knew I needed the ‘nano’ size, which is the smalles of the three. So it really shouldn’t be a problem. But I was still so worried that I was doing it wrong.
I was so worried that I ended up aborting and going back to the old apartment and taking a bunch of pictures of the SIM cards so I could put them on my computer and zoom in and get a better look.
Didn’t really accomplish that much. But my brain was frazzled.
Took the time when I was at the old apartment to call the housing association. Got a hold of Dennis, the inspector from yesterday. Told him I did not have the Locking guide thing. While we were on the phone he sent it over to me on email. I haven’t had the time to look at it yet, I’ll do that tonight. Hopefully it will help. The electronic locking stuff is one of the biggest causes of anxiety right now. But hopefully it will be okay.
So, back to the new apartment. Sat down in front of the computer. Stared at the SIM card. Telling myself I had to just get it done. So I punched out the card, which sounds more metal than it is. Was paranoid I got it wrong. But I got the card into the router. Was paranoid I put it in wrong. Tried to get it back out. Couldn’t. Was convinced I’d messed it all up. Then managed to get the card out. Put it back in. Okay okay. Plugged in the power cable. Couldn’t see any lights coming on. Was convinced everything was going wrong. Then a power light came on. Oh and then a light in the 4G indicator. That seemed like a good sign, that must mean it’s making a connection. And it’s not 5G so I don’t have to worry about Bill Gates stealing my thoughts to train a Skynet AI. Cool
So, I plugged in the network cable. Looked at the computer. The little netweork icon was in the windows bar. I hovered over it with the mouse. And it said
“Network 2
Internet access.”
Oh. Internet access. That must mean there’s… access. to the internet? Fired up a browser and typed in the google url. And never have I been so happy to see google load up. The internet was working. The panicked fear of not having internet in my apartment until December was gone. I mean, not really gone. Because of course I still worry something will go wrong later.
But there was internet. I went to the ISP’s speed test page. 77mbps down, 2 mpbs up. Not nearly as good as my current 300/300. Or future 1000/500. But certainly good enough for a month until they can install the proper internet. And it worked with the network cable without wifi and wireless and smartphones. Phew.
So that was a huge relief. It has been one of my biggest worries. So I am very happy that seems to be okay. I’m not going to be using the internet in the new place until I move in properly next week. But it’s just a relief that it’s working.
After laying back and staring at the ceiling for a while, I got up. Went back to get another cartful of stuff. Oh yeah and I brought a cartful when I went back to take pictures of the SIM card. So, three cartfulls and some bags, that’s today’s haul. I could have done more. But I was just emotionally drained.
Also finding it a little tricky to pick out stuff to move. Everything is so scattered and there’s stuff I use and… it’s hard to rip it all apart. I think I have changed my plans a little. The original plan to do as much as possible the first couple of days is completely abandoned. It is all taking a toll on me right now, and I am prioritizing taking time, while I can, to sit at home here in the old place. Not rip everything apart right away. I’m going to continue the next couple of days with some slow moving. And then I think Saturday and especially Sunday, i will do a big push. See if I can get everything done for the actual big move on Monday. And you know, I still have access to the old place for 3ish weeks after the big stuff is moved. So if I haven’t got everything moved over by Monday, I cake a couple of days afterwards to get the last straggling bits.
There’s also the big stuff that has to be taken down to the garbage, bookshelshelves, treadmill, chest o drawers.
And then there’s the lamps.
And maybe the drapes.
There’s still stuff to deal with. It would be nice if it was mostly sorted on Monday. But it will take the time it takes. I am so grateful for the help I’m getting. Not taking that for granted in the least.
That was pretty much all for today’s work. Now I’m taking the rest of the day off. Gonna make me some grilled cheese sandwiches on the good old pan. Try to unwind before picking up again tomorrow.
As I said, though. I am struggling. Mentally. It’s harder than I expected. The door stuff is very anxiety triggering. But it’s also just.. the feeling of being torn out of my safe space. I am feeling a deep sadness about it. This old place may be dirty and messy and broken in places. Like me. But it’s been home. For 18 years. As my life fell almost apart because of my eyes being ruined. Through terrible losses of goats that meant the world to me. My father’s alzheimer getting worse. My mother and brother with their health issues. The world on fire. I have had this safe space to retreat into.
I have had these routines to comfort me.
i guess that’s why I still feel the need to spend a good part of the day here, back at home base. Sitting at the computer. Instead of getting all the moving done right away. I only have 5 days left after today, five days to be sitting here and doing this.
And i will have to make a home in the new place, I will have to make routines there, I will sit there and hopefully it will become a safe space. Hopefully I can deal with the electronic locks and all the other little niggles. The annoyances. The things that aren’t the same as they are here. Why does the bathroom door open the other way, why is the light switch on the inside, why are there no hooks on the wall for dish rags, why no hooke in the entrance hallway for coats, no coat hangers in the closet, why is there a light constantly in the key icon on the induction plate, why is there a ventilation system constantly going in my living room.
That one is going to bother me I think. I am very sensitive to cold because of my bad circulation. I guess the ventilation system is good for the indoor climate. But I feel like there’s a constant breeze. And it make a hum. I don’t think it ever shuts off, so there will never be completely quiet.
Right now I have a ventilation shaft thing in my kitchen. But it doesn’t make sound. And it makes more sense in the kitchen.
The new toilet is weird, hanging on the wall like some japanese techno thing. I used it for the first time today. And flushed it. And it kept going for like 10 minutes. I don’t know if it was because it hadn’t been used for so long that it needed to refill or something, but I was getting ready to call the super because it seemed like it just kept running water. The sink is smaller and the plug is weird, not a simple plug with a chain like my old one, but some weird thing you have to push down and it doesn’t seem to stay completely down but i’m not sure if it keeps water in the sink when it is down or if it’s slowly draining and..
aaagh. Everything just feels wrong. Like I’m being torn out of my comfort zone and pushed into a modern hell house where technology has gone mad and the robot butler is trying to murder me.
Sigh. I know most of that stuff, it will become the normal. I will get used to it. Maybe I will even prefer some of it. In time. But right now I am just feel sad and like I want this to stop.
Alright. Sorry but all the complaining. Had to get it out of my system. Happy that the internet is working. Another day, another step towards the finishing line. Hoping to meet up with Helle one of the next days and along with reading the Lock guide maybe it will make feel a little etter about that all.
Thank you for listening, if you did. I appreciatr you all on my side.
Just gotta keep going, one day a day.
4/11 2025
—
.
Sorry for all the emotional ramblings earlier. But thank you for listening and being supportive.
I think I may take tomorrow off. I have a protein delivery coming (to the old apartment) and I need to do paperwork (online) regarding the official address change and applying for housing aid. I may let that be tomorrow’s work and not do any physical moving. Should be seeing Helle on Thursday. I’ll see. If the paperwork is easy maybe I’ll cart over some more stuff. I’ll see.
I have now had the chance to read through the Lock guide. And it was comforting to an extent. Biggest problem is I’m supposed to have gotten a username and password for the lock portal website, and I do not have that. Maybe I’m supposed to try to log in with my email and request a password. That’s how it works on the housing association’s website, the first time you log in you have to click “I forgot my password” so you get a password made for you.
But anyway, that’s anothet hing for tomorrow. Call the housing association and ask for user/pass for that site.
I am glad there is a website. You can do it via app, of course. But they also have an actual website. In this day and age that is not a given. There are more and more things that are moved to just apps, and damned be people who can’t or won’t use smartphones. What a wonderful future we live in, for those who fit in the new little boxes that society wants to cram us into.
Anyway. The system managing the electronic locks do have a website. And after reading through the guide, it looks like the website should be easy to use and have some good functionality. I’ll have to see when I manage to log in.
And if it’s true, as it seems to be, that the door buzzer thing works one a dumbphone, then that’s another kudos to the people who made the system, for not requiring smartphones. The instructions said that when people use the door buzzer it calls the ‘landline or cell phone’ of the tenant. So that would suggest it doesn’t have to be a smartphone or app. I still want to see it work before I really believe it.
And you can se up access codes, for your own door and for the main entrance. You have to set a time limit for them, but the instructions suggested setting a time limit of one year. So, if it works as i think then I can set a code for myself. That I can use if I should get stuck outside withouh my key bricks. That would be good.
And you can set up temporary codes for visitor. I will have to contact the grocery delivery service I use and ask them if they have their own access codes to our buildings. I believe postal service and some other delivery type things have their own codes. Knowing my luck the grocery delivery company probably don’t have their own codes. I’ll probably have to set up temp codes for them or have them buzz me on the doorphone. Which will introduce more anxiety. But it must be possible to make it work.
I don’t think I will ever be completely comfortable with that electronic lock system. I will never not be worried that I didn’t lock the door probably or that I gave someone access or that the batteries wil run out or I’ll screw something up. Not having a physical key just irks me.
But that’s progress for you. Hopefully I’ll get somewhat used to it. Hopefully my parents can figure out to use the key brick i’ll give them. I worry about dad not remember how to do it. I remember when i had the howing of the first apartment and I was trying to work the door phone and I had no idea how to use it. i could barely see the screen and did not find it intuitive at all.
But hey oh. Not the worst of days. Got the internet working there which was super important. Feel a little better about the locks after reading the guide. Got the first stuff carted over.
I’ll be glad when this is all done.
I’m sure some people will be glad when I go back to just silly goat posts instead of all this! But here we are, for now.
Doing my best, and thankfully there are good people helping.
4/11 2025
—
.
Well, I did decide to take today off. From the physical moving, at least.
Taking the day to mostly just sit at the computer. Relax. Sleep. Eat. Watch stuff.
Maybe the last sort of normal day, in this safe space.
I estimate there are probabaly 10-15 cartloads left to move. Spread over 4 days, should be manageable.
I have less space in the new place, and less space in the cupboards. I’m going to want to get rid of more stuff. Glad I did the big cleanup earlier in the year. But more stuff needs to go. And I think for now I’ll cart over stuff in bags and boxes and then when things settle down a little I go through it. Decide what to keep, and then try to organize what I keep. Right now things are spread out and messy. I’m going to try to get things a little better organized and have a more efficient use of space.
That’s my hope anyway.
Tomorrow I’ll be meeting with Helle to look a the door phoen and buzzer, maybe some other stuff if she has time.
I called the housing association and asked for a user/pass for the electronic portal. The lady on the phone promsed she’d get someone on it. I’m hoping to get that today so I can log in and try to set up some codes and stuff.
Got a big deliver of Pepsi & Protein today. Presumably the last one in this apartment, so I added some extras just in case. Don’t want to run out of Pepsi if there are problems with deliveries coming up.
I have sent off an email to the delivery service asking if they have access codes to the doors here. Probably they don’t and I’ll have to provide temp codes or get buzzed. So I need access to the portal and all that.
Also today I got my move registered with the official authorities. It was quick and easy on the citizen service website. And about twenty minutes later I got notification that the case had been closed and my move had been registered.
i am now officially registered as living at the new address. Even though I won’t really be living there until Monday.
But now it’s official. No turning back. Not like there was before. It’s just a formality. But it feels like a finality. Noke takesy backsies.
I am actually expecting a package, probably tomorrow, and I know the postal service get automatic notification of address changes. I wonder if that’s going to be a problem. The package was ordered to this address, but I wonder if they’ll try to deliver it at the new one instead. I’ll just hae to see I guess.
Later today I will probably try to go through hte housing aid application. If I get user/pass for the lock portal I can look at that too.
So, not a completely unproductive. But I’m just trying to relax a little before the home stretch. The finishing line is right around the corner. The pieces look to be fitting in the puzzle, just gotta push them in there and complete it.
I wish I could get the nercous energy out of my body. Being in a constant state of near-panic isn’t nice. Too bad I don’t do drugs!
One day a day. Onwards we go.
5/11 2025
—
.
It was nice to take a day off, just sitting here. In my safe space. I crave it. I know there is not much left of it.
I may even take Friday off too. Depending on how tomorrow goes. If I can move enough stuff over that I can see that the leftover stuff can be easily done Saturday and Sunday… I may take Friday off. I know that’s not very productive… but my mental state is not great.
And from Monday there will no longer be normal days in here. I don’t know how long it will take for the new place to feel normal. Feels like it may never get there. But I’m sure I’ll adjust. i will have to.
I have spent some time looking at footage from Monday’s big event with the inspection and handing over of keys. I had a camera going most of the time. Mostly just filming the floors and ceilings, but i wanted to capture the audio. My memory is so bad. And especially in a stressful situation like that. I’ll be told something and I’ll say yes yes yes, and then it’ll be gone from my mind later that day. So having audio of the whole thing is nice, so I can remind myself of what I was told. Helps a bit.
I got a reply back from my grocery delivery platform. They do not have access keys to the buildings, as I thought. But the support person told me that their drivers could handle it just fine if i give a temporary code to them. So hopefully that will work. It will add an extra layer of stress and anxiety to the delivery, at first at least. But hopefully it won’t be a problem.
Have not head back from teh housing association about the user/pass to the electronic lock portal. Unless they put something in my mail box downstairs. I thought I’d get it on email. I don’t know, I’ll check both (!) my mailboxes tomorrow and if I haven’t got anything I’ll call them again to make sure something’s happening. I need to be able to access that system to mnake codes, for myself and others.
I hope they have put me in the system though, even though i can’t access it yet. Tomorrow Helle and I will be testing the buzzer, so they better have put my phone number in the system. I guess we’ll find out.
Also my mother should be stopping by. My parents apparently have some induction pots that they aren’t using, so she’ll bring those over.
And I’m expecting that package tomorrow, will be interesting to see if that gets delivered okay, now that i’m registered at the other place. I’ll see.
That’s tomorrow’s plan. Package, Helle, mom, and then carting some stuff over.
Back to work. And back to anxiety and fear and sadness. La la la. I’ll be glad when this is done. I hope.
Thank you, Keiko, for the fun windows peeping goats!
5/11 2025
—
.
Phew. Lots to do today. Constructive day I guess. Some ups and downs, some mishaps and misunderstandings. Meeting up with both postman, Helle and my mom.
Didn’t get as much stuff moved over as perhaps I should have. But stuff got did.
First and foremost, I got confirmation that the door phone and buzzer does work even though I don’t have a smartphone. Helle demonstrated it for me. Found me on the door phone and buzzed me and it called my cell phone and I was able to unlock the door for her by pressing 5 on my phone. So that’s neat. It’s a big relief that it works without a smartphone.
I am still not happy with the electronic lock system and the buzzer and all. I don’t think I will ever get used to it. But what can you do.
I wish the people who made it had thought more about accessibility. Bad font, bad colour, zero contrast, No audio. I literally can’t read the screen. Even with my best magnifying glass it’s very hard, maybe impossible. But hey, I’m not the one who’ll be buzzing me. Hopefully other people can use it okay.
I’ll need to use it to input my door code if needed. I don’t really need to read the display to do that I think though, so hopefully that will be okay.
But I’m happy it works for people buzzing me and I can open the door via the phone.
That was the most important part. But there was lots to do today, so let’s me tell you it.
As previously mentioned I was expecting a package today. More storage boxes. So kind of a big and somewhat heavy package. One I would really prefer not to go and pick up myself from the dropoff point if it couldn’t be delivered. And I was worried they might try to deliver it to the new apartment because of my official address change.
So, I decided to be pro-active. I knew that usully my mailman delivers packages around 9 am. So I went out to meet him. I figured I might have to wait around for a while, he usually comes between 9 and 9.30, but sometimes 9-10, and sometimes even later in the day. No guarantee I’d meet him. But i went outside around 9 and was prepared to wait. Immediately I saw one of the characteristic blue PostNord vans parked outside. And as I approached it, my mailman came out from another opgang, entrance. And here it came in handy that I know my mailman. I don’t know him on a name basis, it’s not like we chat. But I can sort of recognise him and he can recognise me, probably because I’m kind of a weirdo that sticks out. So when he saw me he immediately went “I got a package for you”. And he gave me the package and I hauled it up. So that went perfectly, just as I’d hoped. I will need to start receiving mail and packages at the new place now.
Next up was my mother coming over. But I had some time before that so I got some stuff and carted it down to the storage room in the new building’s bassement. I really don’t like the storage rooms in the old building, that place is dim and dark and it’s harder to get into and it just feels icky to me. The storage rooms in the new building are much easier to get into with the key brick and the place just feels safer and nicer. So I decided to make use of my storage room after all, changing my initial decision to never go down there.
Hauled down 3 space heaters and 4 old coats. I think the space heaters still work, I don’t use them but I don’t want to get rid of them, in case one of the two I currently use should break or something. And the coats are still potentially useful. But the coat that Jeanette gave me last year, it served me all through fall and winter without problems. So I don’t think I need the heavier coats. If I do need them, well they’ll be down in my storage room.
So that was pretty nice, getting some stuff down there. I put my own padlock on the room, as instructed.
Then my mom came over. She has mobility issues, so she took a taxi and brought over three pots for the induction stove. I forget why my parents had them but have never used them, but I was happy to take them.
My mom didn’t stay at that point, she went off to buy me a new induction pan and another, smaller, pot. Because I am a spoiled boy and my parents are super helpful.
I did some stuff in the apartment, and then it was time for Helle to show up.
We tested the door buzzer thing and she showed me that it did in fact work. I buzzed her in, even though I was standing right next to her.
She showed me how to input my codes too. I think I should be able to do that even though i can’t really read the screen.
Then we went up to the apartment to look at some stuff. While we were up there the housing association called. I had called them before I headed out to ask when I would get my user/pass for the locking portal, since I hadn’t gotten it yet after calling yesterday. But now the lady told me that I would have them in my email and they would be ready to use shortly.
And I have got them now. Haven’t had a chance to log in and look at stuff, hopefully I can do that tonight. Setup my code so I can test that out tomorrow.
Helle was helping me with the induction hotplates. She doesn’t have the exact same kind, so she was kind of testing them out. And she turned them on and they got really hot. Which kind of confused me, because I thought they were supposed to not get hot but work by magic magnetism.
Helle wasn’t sure either, I think she has them at her work and they don’t get hot there. She ended up calling the housing association service people and asking about it. And it turns out… I have hotplates that work both ways? I guess. Ceramic something.
Weird. And not real great that the inspector told me I needed special pots and pans for it, when apparently I do not.
And yes. That means I guess I don’t need the pots that my mom brought or the pan that it was too late to tell her not to buy. Jeez.
Well, I suppose it’s nice enough to have new cookware. My old stuff isn’t in the best of shape. But yeah. That was kind of a whoopsie.
I suppose it makes it easier for me if it can work both ways.
I still feel really insecure about the hotplates, having those touchscreen button controls, I can’t see them very well without my magnifying glass, and I don’t feel convinced that I can work them safely. I don’t really want to experiment with them until I’m moved in, so I am in the apartment fully. I’m worried I’ll play around with them and leave and the house will burn down because I didn’t turn them off properly.
Well, I asked Helle to ask the service guy if it was possible to get a manaul for the oven/hotplates. And Helle asked for it and sent a message with pictures of the oven and plates. So hopefully I can get that manual and read about what the different controls precisely do and how to operate them. I will still probably need to use my magnifying glass every time I want to cook something. Once again, modern technology so super smart, but the people designing it not stopping to think about people with special needs. People assume everyone has a smartphone, everyone can read a little display, and so on and so forth.
Joan suggested that I contacted the Danish Blind Society, I may still do that. See if they have any suggestions for making it easier.
Helle also pointed out something that I hadn’t even realised. Both my freezer and my fridge open up with the door swinging in the wrong directino. Instead of swinging open so it’s open to the side you’re standing on, they swing the other way. So to speak. Apparently it’s something that can be changed, the doors can be put on the other way. Helle asked the service people to get that done for me asap.
We also looked at the doorbell. It wasn’t ringing. There were batteries in it, but I guess they were dead. You’d think when handing over an apartment to a new tenant, they’d make sure there were good batteries in there. But oh well. I brought the batteries home, found some of my own that I recharged and brought back later, and the doorbell is now working. So that’s good.
Speaking of batteries, Helle also told me that the electronic lock warns you when the batteries are getting low with an audio voice, which was a relief to know. I was worried it was just a red light, which would have been easy for me to overlook. But with a voice notification I shoould be able to be aware when I need to change the batteries, apparently it warns you well in advance.
I still really don’t like the idea of the lock to my door running on batteries. Imagine if your physical key could run out of power. Irks me. The door buzzer won’t work if the internet is down either, since the call to the phone goes over the internet. I guess it’s on wifi and unlikely to be down, but still. In this day and age where we’re told to prepare in case Russia attacks, what if all our door systems go down. Ugh.
Well, I do feel better about it all after talking to Helle. Once again, she is a tremendous help.
We went over to the old apartment so she could just get an idea of what we’ll be moving on Monday. It’s basically my bed, my desk, my tv/computer table and my exercise bike. I think that’s all the big stuff I want to move. And then there’s stuff I have to get rid off.
We also looked at the lamps, to get an idea where I want them in the new place.
Once Helle left it was just about time for my mom to come back. I had to tell her that I guess I didn’t really need those special induction pots and pans after all. I felt bad about asking for help and sending her out to do stuff when she didn’t really need to. But she didn’t seem upset about it, and again it’s nice to have new stuff and the induction things are probably better than the old type, once I get to learn to use it all properly.
Gave her one of my key bricks too. You get three bricks. So there’s one for me, one for mom and one wil lbe for dad. I wish I got 4, like the 4 keys I have for the old apartment. I would like to have a spare one to keep for myself, but I also would like my parents to have one each. So they don’t have to deal with the door buzzer system and all. And so they can get in if I’m passed out in a Pepsi coma or something.
But nice to let mom have a look at the place. I’m sure once I’m all settled in I’ll have everyone over for a housewarming party. That will last about 5 minutes, because I don’t do parties. I feel safe and comfortable with my parents of course, unlike with strangers. But I’m still just not a sociable person. It drains me to spend time with humans, even humans I trust. I’m not the type to just sit down and hang out for funsies. Unless you’re a goat. Then I’ll sit down for all the funsies.
Once mom was gone I carted over a bit more stuff. And I did some measuring. Of my furniture, and of the space in the new place. I really wanted to find a way to fit my stuff in so I could have my computer and tv over by the computer and tv plugs. So I don’t have to have cables running over the floor through the whole apartment. But I just don’t see how I can make it work, I have needs of placements of things. I need to be able to see my computer screen from both my comfy chair and my bed and my exercise bike. I use a timer on the computer for exercise and for alarm clock for sleep and stuff. It’s tricky to get it all placed correctly. I think I will need to have the furniture placed the same way as I have currnently in the old place. Even though that will mean an annoying cable on the floor. I really should get into the wireless age eh… but I am oldfashioned. I need cabled connections.
I thought that was the end of my day, that I could call it quits and then have a Friday off.
But then as I was sitting on the floor with my measuring tape, trying to visualize furniture placement… I spotted a problem on the radiator. The end plate on one side was kind of loose. There was a gap. It wasn’t closed properly. Now I don’t know if that means anything. if it’s a problem or not. But it obviously wasn’t right. If you imagine the radiator as a box, then the lid wasn’t closed properly. Just the lid is on the side, not the top.
I really really really didn’t want to deal with that. Because I knew. They would have to send someone to look at it. And they can never give an exact time when they come. Which means, I’d have to stay in the apartment to let them in.
But I did the responsible adult thing. I called the housing association and told them. And they will send someone tomorrow between 8 and 12 am. So. My plan to have the day off is off I guess. She said she’d try to get him to come at 8, or as early as possible. But i’ll have to be there, so there’s no staying home and being lazy tomorrow.
Hopefully he’ll come early and be able to fix so I won’t need to wait for a plumber or electrician or whatever.
Sigh.
I am just tired. And while I feel better mentally today than yesterday, I am still struggling. I was crying in bed last night, feeling overwhelmed and scared.
But okay. Maybe I’ll take Saturday off then. I am no longer really set on having everything finished Monday. Helle was saying it too, I have till the end of the month. Plenty of time to bring stuff over after the big move on Monday. I don’t need it to be all done that day. I can still spend some time bringing stuff over, the unimportant stuff.
My plan right now is..
Tomorrow I need to be there for the radiator guy. Depending on how fast and or easy that goes, I may decide to cart stuff over afterwards. Or I may not.
Then I will probably take Saturday off to sit around and relax and not deal with anything.
Then Sunday I will do a big push. Move over everything that needs to be moved before the big furniture move.
Monday the big furniture move, hopefully the lamps. And I’ll start living in the new place.
And then the next couple of days trying to settle in and maybe bring over the last stuff if there is any.
That’s okay to me. I don’t need it to be all done Monday. As long as I can move in on Monday, then I can take more time to get the last done. I don’t want to rush myself. I feel extremely stressed and depressed and anxious when every day involves me going out and doing things. I don’t know how evident it is in general, but I have a limited capacity, not just for social stuff but for just going out in the world too. I need days where I just sit inside by myself. Otherwise my depression and anxiety just keeps rising and rising and i have a hard time coping. I need days off to let the steam out.
Anyway. I can see a path to it all being okay, so that’s something. Will it get good? I don’t know, it will take a lot of time. But if it can get okay, then I can work with that. There was a time when I didn’t think I could get through this. Now, it looks like I can. I am feeling like it can be done.
Okay.
Going to try to relax now.
Sorry about all the long rambling posts. Hopefully soon things will be a lot more uneventful for me. I look forward to not having anything to say other than “lol goats did something funny”. I miss the goats a lot too. But I just do not have capacity for that right now. Hope they’re doing okay, I will be happy when I see those furry faces again. As soon as possible after Monday.
Oh right, I forget one thing.
Sheesh, I never shut up.
But I thought I broke the magic curtains already. The wire on one of them. I was pulling it, and it came off. The thing that the cable is attached to, got pulled out. I couldn’t raise or lower that set of drapes anymore. And I thought “Oh no I have already wrecked my new home”. I wasn’t sure if I should call the service center. But what I ended up doing was going to the old place and getting a cartful of stuff and putting my only simple chair on it. I have my big comfy chair that I sit in at the computer, and then I have one other simpler chair that I can move around. So I brought that over. And I got up and stood on it so I could reach the top of the windows (note to self, yu need to get a step ladder). And thankfully after some finegling I managed to get the drape cable thing attached to the thing it was supposed to be attached to and I got it working. Phew. I thought I had completely broken it.
I do think I will need extra curtains to keep the light out completely. But i’m glad to have the magic drapes, they make moving in easier to deal with. Helle was telling me about some curtain things she has, we may try to get the same kind of thing for me.
Okay, that’s all for now. Really. I need food.
Hope this ramble finds you well!
6/11 2025
—
.
Helle took the chance to get a picture of the view. I think in the video I posted, the red roof was a little redder than in real life. Those super vivid colours. This is probably more true to life.
6/11 2025
—
.
I clocked out at 12:30 today. Keeping executive hours.
I could have done more, but I did some. And a couple of important things got did.
Now I’m going to have soup and relax. And I’m going to take tomorrow off.
Maybe I’ll regret not working harder. But I have come to accept I need to take it slower. When I have a whole month to move, I don’t want to kill myself doing it in one week.
On Sunday I will try to work hard to get as much done as possible. I just need to get enough moved over that the big furniture move on Monday can go smoothly. And then if there’s still stuff left to move, I can do that in the following days.
Some stuff I just want to wait until the last moment to move. And some stuff might even be better to wait until after the big furniture, because I’m not completely sure how I’ll settle the decor, where everything goes.
So. It’s fine. It will take time. And even more time after that. I have come to realise that it will take time to put stuff back together, because I can’t put it back together the same way it was. There’s less space, and not just the square footage. The cupboards are smaller, less shelf space. I’m going to have to Tetris it and fit stuff together.
The thing is when you live in a place for 18 years and you’re not good at keeping things tidy and organised, it all kind of piles up. I get new stuff and go “oh that can probably go here” and I shove it in a cupboard. And it just adds up and it becomes a disorganized mess.
In a way, moving it all over will be a chance to get it organised. It will take some time, though. There’s stuff I will get rid of. I’ll have to think about what stuff I need to have within hand’s reach at all times, and what can go in the back of a closet. Or down in the storage room.
So I expect there will be weeks where I will have bags and boxes standing around. And then I’ll slowly go through it and decide where it goes. In the trash or in the front of a cupboard or in the back or whatever.
Sorry, this isn’t terribly interesting. I’m sure you’re not biting your nails waiting to hear where I’ll keep my boxes of powdered mashed potatoes!
Anyhoo. That’s the plan. Slow and steady. The finishing line is extremely close now. I accept that the race will go on for a while after that. But the finish will be important.
So let me tell you today what happened did.
I had the appointment about the fawlty radiator. Had to be there between 8 and 12.
Got up early. Before going out, I did some online shopping. Ordering some stuff for the apartment. Nothing too interesting, but the important part is that it’s the first time I have put in an order and put my new address. An odd feeling. Like you’ve gone your whole life saying “Hi, I’m Joe” and now you have to remember to say “Hi, I’m Michael”. Exactly like that, perfect analogy, 10/10, no notes
So we’ll see how that goes.
Then I headed over to the new apartment. Last night I had logged into the electronic lock portal for the first time. Like the instructions had suggested, it’s quite easy to use. Nice and simple, it seems. I set up my code for the doors without any problems.
And I was able to get in today with the code. It’s easy enough to enter at the keypad, even if I can barely read the screen. Thanks to Helle’s demonstration, I had no problems. Opened the door with the code instead of with my key brick. I didn’t manage to unlock my apartment door the first time, but I later figured out what I’d done wrong and got it to work. So that’s good. As long as the batteries are good, I can unlock the door even if I don’t have my key brick.
I’m never going to be happy with the electronic lock deal, but at least it seems to work okay and mostly I can use it fine. As long as I’m not the one having to use the door phone to buzz someone. But people buzzing me should be fine. I’m relieved that it all works pretty okay.
So I got in the apartment. And after ten ish minutes the housing association guy came. i’m glad he got there as early as that. He looked at the radiator and after some pushing and prodding he got the back panel in place so there’s no gap and nothing sticking out.
I asked him if maybe he could fix my fridge and freezer doors too. Since they open up the wrong direction. He tried, it took a while, and then he had to give up. I think he was missing some equipment or something. So he had to put it back together the way it was. It took quite some time. Probably 15-20 minutes. Seemed like it wasn’t an easy thing to do. Too bad he couldn’t get it done, now I’ll have to get it done some other time. I guess it won’t be done before I move in and start actually putting things in the fridge and freezer. So that’s a little annoying, but I’ll cope.
After he left I did some moving, carting stuff over. Put some more stuff in the storage room. And more stuff in the apartment.
Not a ton of stuff left. Maybe I can get it all done Sunday. Maybe I can’t. I won’t stress over it. I’m trying not to dread Monday. It’s going to be one of the biggest changes in my life, certainly in the last few decades.
I have felt like I couldn’t do it. But I’m doing it. I hope it will go well. It is so close now. I’m going to try not to spend the whole time in panic mode. My fatalistic mind will tell me it’s the end of all things, but I will try not to listen. Things are unending, these moments are fleeting. Like farts in the wind, soon they will only be a scent memory.
Oh, did I mention I got the manual to the induction stove? So hopefully I can learn how to properly and safeuly use it.
But right now I’m going to use the oldfashioned ones to cook up a pot of soup. It may be the last time I do that in this place. That’s such a strange thought. In the new place there will be new hotplates and new pots, but the soup will be the same and hopefully that will help ground me into the new existence. And anchor. My constant. Or something. Soup, there it is.
7/11 2025
—
.
Another video greeting from the apartment.
I really don’t like putting myself on camera if there are no goats involved. Ick.
Nothing too interesting. But hey, proof that my doorbell works. And proof that I have a bathroom. And a mor true to life red coloured roof.
Whenever I set foot out on that balcony I get a really bad case of vertigo. Even with the railing in front of me I still feel like I’m definitely going to fall all the way down. I have always had a pretty bad fear of heights.
7/11 2025
—
.
Okay. Something else is going on, and it’s bad.
Not about the move.
But by teeth.
I’m in pain, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to lose another tooth. And this is the right upper front tooth. So that’s probably a lot more serious than a molar.
I’m going to have to call the dentist Monday morning and get an emergency appointment.
Since I’ll be moving on Monday, I hope I can get an appontment Tuesday.
I just.. don’t need this right now. I feel like the universe is determined to kick me in the.. I was going to say nuts, but I guess it’s more a kick in the teeth.
This is not a good time to be dealing with pain, and the anxiety of a dentist visit and the fear of a huge economic slap.
Fk fk fk it all.
I’ve been having problems with the tooth for a long time. Ironically I originally had a dentist appointment on Thursday, but I had it postponed because of the moving stuff. I wish I hadn’t done that.
My upper front teeth are super worn. I can tell that the base is sort of big and round. But then the tooth itself is really thing. It has been ground down over the years. And that means there’s sort of a base where the tooth hits. It’s hard to describe. But for a long time I have periodically felt like sometimes when I bite into something it felt like there was an exposed nerve or something in the base, I’d get a jolt when I bit into something. And to solve that prblem I .. have been no biting into stuff with that tooth. Smart, I know.
But a couple of days ago it started getting worse. And now it’s not just when I bit into something, now it is a constant throbbing pain. And if I push or knock on the tooth I can feel that it’s not doing well.
The pain was pretty bad last night. I took painkillers before going to bed, that helped some. and the pain isn’t super bad today. But it’s there. And the tooth feels like one big raw nerve when I manipulate it.
So yeah, I can’t imagine it not having to come out. And then what do you do? You have to have front teeth, right. Not having one of my molars hasn’t bothered me, but you need front teeth. And you probably need both front teeth to be the same size and condition? My other front teeth is really worn too, but slightly less than the bad one and I haven’t had any pains in the other one.
But ugh. I’m worried this is going to be super expensive. The money I saved from not hiring a moving company is going to go to this I guess. And that’s assuming it’s not going to be one of those bills you hear about that ruin people’s whole economy. I don’t understand why dental care is the only health care that we let ruin people in Denmark.
I will just have to deal with it i guess.
Taking today off, from the physical move. But there’s a bunch of stuff to do on the computer, need to apply for housing aid, need to read that ceramic stove manual, need to go through videos and pics I have taken through the week.
And then I have to look at what the chances of dental aid is. Since i’m on disability I may qualify for some aid, the problem with that is that you can’t get the aid AFTER you get the work done. So even if i can get aid then I would have to come home from the dentist withough having anything fixed and then apply for aid and then wait for reply. That would probably take a week at least, probably two. And what if it is work that needs to be done right away, what if there’s infection spreading. Then aid wouldn’t be possible. it’s all hard enough to deal with with my anxiety and lack of social skills. And then dealing with the move on top of it all
Yeah super.
Anyway. The plan is. Today at the omputer doing the stuff that needs doing here. Tomorrow a big moving day. Hopefully the tooth pain won’t affect me too much. number one priority is getting the stuff aroudn the big furniture moved, so that’s ready for Monday.
And then Monday. Call dentist in the morning to get emergency appointment. And then move the super essentials like medicine and stuff I use every day, move that to the new apartment. Then Helle and friends come and we move the furniture. Hopefully the lamps. And then. I don’t know, I should probably take the rest of the day off. And then the rest of the week will be dental stuff and moving the last bit, try to get things arranged and try to settle in. Try to get to feeling fairly okay in my new situation. I need a goat day too, at least one.
Sunday and Monday are going to be tought. And then the dental day is going to be tough. I’m just going to say it, the second half of 2025 has not been the greatest for me. I’m not going to be looking back on that with joy in my heart.
But hopefully it will be okay. The move. The entistry. I’m just going to have to deal with it all as best I can.
Sigh. Fun times.
8/11 2025
—
.
I had a change of mind.
I said yesterday was my last pot of soup in my safe space apartment.
But I’m feeling bad for myself, so I’m having soup again today. Two days in a row, that’s how I soup.
And ice cream for dessert.
Tooth doing okay, with painkillers. But yeah. Needing emergency dental care while dealing with traumatic house move, that ain’t funny.
Feeling slightly calmer about hte move, though. Maybe it’s the physical tooth pain that’s pushing the mental anxiety to the background. I just want to get this move over with. So I can begin to adjust. Hopefully.
8/11 2025
—
.
That’s about it for me today.
Going to bed early today and tomorrow, so I can get up early and so stuff. The next couple of days will be challenging.
Got my last day of sitting around and doing nothing in my safe space. I’ll be glad when I get a day to sit around and do nothing again. Not sure when that will be.
Not that I didn’t get anything done today.
I read instruction guide to the ceramic hotplates. Read some of it while cooking up that last pot of soup for this place. The last use of the old hotplates.
Not happy about hte new ones. But it’s not terribly complicated and I feel safer having read the instructions.
I’m still not thrilled about them. Operating stuff with small sensors and indicators is just not great for me. I don’t know if i will ever be able to operate them without a magnifying glass. And I don’t like that it’s set into the kitchen top. And the hotplates ahave no elevation. I prefer my old set of hotplates. A big metal chunk. And the actual hotplates rising up so you can feel exactly where they are. I was almost thinking of sneaking over my old hotplates, but they have some big weird electric plug and there’s no socket like that in the new apartment. I don’t know if you can buy hotplates with a regular electrical plug. I suppose it would be stupid to do that. Have to try to get used to the ceramic ones.
Also got my application for housing aid sent off. Since I’m on disability I qualify for that. Not a huge sum, but anything helps. And the process of applying was easier than i had thought. It said that I might need to have some documents ready, but in the end all the information they needed was pulled from official databases automatically. There are definitely advantages to the modern information society. So I got that done easily.
I could only hoppe that if I need to apply for dental aid, the process would be that easy. It won’t be though, that will definitely require documents and a more complicated process. Hopefully I won’t need it. But we’ll see.
And I did some processing of videos and photos from the last week. Nothing to show off, just for my own records to remember what was said and done.
8/11 2025
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.
I didn’t work 9 to 5 today.
But I did work 8 to 4. Look, I’m not a mathematician, you’ll have to tell me how that stacks up.
I think I put in a decent effort today. Did everything go as planned? No. Did I get everything done? No. Am I feeling ready for tomorrow? Hardly. Am I ever going to stop asking myself questions? Very funny, wiseguy. Why don’t you ask my knuckles.
But in any case. I’m as ready for tomorrow as I can be. It’s going to be really difficult. But it doesn’t seem impossible. There seems to be a theoretical possible chance that I may not spontaneously explode from fear and pain. So, let’s hope.
Got up early and after some breakfast&youtube, I started moving stuff over. Got a good deal of stuff done.
Oh and I tested out a temp code for the door. Made one that would work for a couple of hours. And that worked as intended. I used it to get in, and later on it stopped working. So that whole system seems to work well.
Spent some time doing some stuff in the apartment and moving more stuff. Then I discovered that I had a bunch of old coats and shoes and junk in my closet in the old place. I hadn’t opened that closet in many years, I keep the stuff I use on a daily basis hanging on a rack in the hallway.
So, suddenly I had to spend a bunch of time getting all that old stuff out and down to the trash. Ancient and filthy. Just had to go. But that took me quite some time, also found some old electronics that needed to go.
And then more moving.
Then I spent some time taking down the extra darkening curtains I put up earlier this year. Still have my basic curtains up. I’m going to leave them up as long as possible. Helle said she could help me take down the curtain rail thing.
Got some more stuff down to the storage room too.
Boxed a bunch of old cardboard and took it down.
A lot of physical labour. Not that it’s super hard. But when you’re used to mostly sitting around, it’s still a little taxing.
There’s still stuff to move over. Going to hopefully take a couple of hours tomorrow morning before the big move, to move over the essentials that I need access to all the time. When that’s done, and the big furniture is moved too, there will probably still be stuff I need to move over. I’ll need to go through the whole apartment and check all the nooks and crannies. And get all the last stuff moved. It won’t all be done tomorrow.
But i have time. The old apartment won’t be completely empty for a while anyway. The big furniture that I want to get rid of has to be taken down too. And unless I order a special pickup, it has to go into ‘big trash’ which is collected Thursdays. So we probably can’t take all that down tomorrow anyway.
But yes. I think I’m on track. Once I move the essentials tomorrow then it should be clear for the big furniture and then.. I’ll be moved in.
I don’t regret taking it slower than I had originally planned. The days off have really helped me cope. The only thing I regret is not really labeling what’s in what boxes. But I have so few possessions that it’s not really a big deal. I’ll know where the essentials are and those need to be unpacked right away. The rest can wait. There will probably be a couple of weeks where I have stuff standing around in boxes and bags. And if I need stuff i’ll have to dig through them to find it. And otherwise I’ll just take my time getting it out of the boxes and distributed. Everything in its right place.
Oh yeah, I haven’t moved stuff from the fridge and freezer either. Turned them on at the new place today. Tomorrow I’ll have to move all my food and drinks over. Maybe I should have done that today. Some of it at least. But ah. It’s fine.
It will be intesting to see how everything ends up fitting. With the less space I have and the different configurations, I will need to do things a little differently. And it’s almost, almost, a little exciting. To get to reorganize and simplify and have a cleaner and better utilisation of space.
But it will take time. I don’t expect the whole move to be absolutely done before December. I know now how much I need to take breaks. And I need to take care of matters in the old apartment. Need to do dentist stuff. Need to get back to goating.
So. No hurry. Gotta get the things I need to exist ready tomorrow, and then the rest will fall into place with time.
That’s the plan.
I’m not feeling too panicked right now. It’s 6 pm. I am sure the panic will start to set in. I don’t know how much sleep I’ll get tonight. But the finishing line is within stumbling distance, and hopefully things will get easier on the other side of that.
I wish I didn’t have to deal with the dental thing on top of it all. i’m feeling fine with painkillers, but I have to deal with, I know.
Alritey then. Exciting and scary time. I’m going to relax for the rest of the day. Get me some cheese sammiches and iced creams. I have been eating way too much ice cream lately. Pretty much a tub of BJs a day. I know that’s not great. But hopefully I’m burning off some of the calories with all the effort I’m doing. Once I get settled into my new life, I definitely need to pay attention to the health part. But right now, just survive. Somehow. One day a day.
Tomorrow will be a giant one.
Oh. One thing i won’t miss? Being able to hear my upstairs neighbour peeing when I’m sitting in my living room. I can literally hear the stream hitting the toilet water.
Is that normal? Acceptable? I feel like the time I have lived here, the sound proofing has gotten worse and worse. I used to barely hear people. Now it’s constant. My pet theory is that all the times I have heard people drilling, they have been drilling too far into the walls or floors or whatever, and they have punched through the sound proofing or whatever. Maybe that’s crazy talk. But I feel like I hear neighbours waaay more than I used to years ago. Right now the elephant kids are dancing again.
Anyway. End transmission.
9/11 2025
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.
Time’s up.
Going to see if I can get some sleep tonight.
Tomorrow night I should be sleeping in the new place.
Panic has set in. I am scared. But I just have to get through it. I am thankful for the help I am getting. Helle and friends will come tomorrow and help move the big stuff. It’s really hard for me to let people in my house and handle my stuff. I am ashamed of the state of it all, I am weird and everything is gross and, ugh I just hae to stop worrying. It will be what it will be. And I am so thankful they will help. Having some outside moving company doing it would have been a lot more invasive.
Alright. Alright alright alright.
Can’t hide from the future.
Wish me luck. Next time I update will probably… maybe?.. hopefully? ..be from the new apartment. I hope it will be good news.
9/11 2025
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.
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That’s all for now.
