Hi. Hello there. Oh it’s Monday.
I was supposed to go see the goats today. But getting up early this morning my body was still a total wreck. So I sent off a message to Jeanette telling her I wouldn’t make it. We had tentatively discussed trimming hooves today, so that would be my second time cancelling a hoof trim day. But she wrote back saying that she figured we wouldn’t do that anyway, because of the extreme heat. Better not to stress the goats in that kind of weather. Very thoughtful.
So now I am resting at home. The weather is hot, but thankfully not the scorching 34/92+ kind of heatwave. I wouldn’t mind not seeing those kinds of temperatures again. Good thing global warming is a hoax.
My body feels like it’s been through one of those oldtimey torture contraptions, you know the ones that stretch your body out. All my muscles and ligaments feel like they have been pull apart by horses. And my ribs still hurt. You know I have delicate bones, I bruise ribs when I just lean over something. I wonder if I feel down on them. I have a sneaking suspicion I may have had a seizure with cramps or something.
It’s also pretty weird when I’m looking for something now and I can’t find it in the spot it’s supposed to be and I realise.. I must have moved that while I was in the other state.
It’s almost like that TV show Severance. I haven’t watched it (though I want to at some point) but my understanding is that it’s something about the people’s brains being ‘divided’ so they have a work self and a free time self? Or something. Split personality. I almost feel like that here, that there’s another me and these attacks set him free and he just does stuff. What a jerk, where did you put my stuff?!
Anyway.
I contacted the doctor, I’m waiting to hear back whether I’m going in this week or if I should go 2-3 weeks without the apple cider vinager to see if that affects the potassium levels.
But today I’m going to just sit and do nothing. Miss the goats. Painkillers have helped some with the body pain. And as long as I just sit still I’m pretty fine. Have to remember to do some stretches, losen up the muscles. I think a lot of the body pain comes from me not stretching after the hard exercise on Saturday. Apparently my other self doesn’t think it’s necessary to stretch after exercising. Clearly he’s not the brightest bulb in the pack.
Again thank you all for concerns and support and kindness. I feel like a pretty big mess right now, and I’m sure some of you want to hit me over the head with a frying pan to knock some sense into me. I’m trying.
Try fry try.
I have the balcony doors open now, and there’s a whole lot of commotion outside. Cheering people, honking cars, hollering. I think it must be one of the student parades. Ah those young people. Make a better world for yourselves, kids.
29/6 2026
—
.
The day is winding down. I have done nothing all day but sit at the computer. Not how I planned to spend my day, but okay.
I got a reply back from my doctor. She said that yes, it would be a good idea to stop taking the apple cider vinegar. But she did not reply to my question about whether it wouldn’t be a good idea to wait 2-3 weeks then and get a new blood test done to see if that helps the potassium. So I guess I gotta go in this week. I suppose that’s for the best. I suppose I ought to actually tell her that I had blackout this weekend. I suppose that would be prudent. Sigh. I kind of wanted to keep it seperate. Personal doc for the potassium stuff, hospital docs for the blackouts. Well, mostly I I kind of wanted to not deal with anything and just pretend nothing is going on. Isn’t that a good way to deal with your problems? Head in the sand, if they can’t find thne they can’t hurt you.
Well well well, we’ll see how it all goes.
My ribs are still hurting quite a bit. I can barely fart or sneeze! Not that I do ever. Of course.
It’s hurting more on the left side. Because. I leaned over to reach something and pushed my left side against the armrest of my chair and.. I heard a little crack. Yes, my brittle bones strike again. So now I probably have a bit of a bruised rib on that side, along with whatever is causing the general pain in the ribs. And whole body. I am so tired of it all.
I was going to say I don’t feel like myself, but I do. I do. I just feel torn out of my routine. I thrive on routine, I need a schedule, I need a normal routine and to know what to expect. I can’t stand change and unexpected. And now I have to deal with all… this. *waves hands around*
Alright well. Sorry about all the B&M. Bisching and moaning.
AT least it’s a little cooler now. Still hot, but more normal summery weather for Denmark. It won’t be too many days until it dips below 20C/68F and I’ll start complaining about it being too cold. Round and round we go.
Guess I won’t be sleeping on my side tonight!
29/6 2026
—
.
Oh hello. I didn’t see me come in there.
I have been to the doctor today. I was playing the ‘bargaining game’. Can’t I stop the apple cider vinegar and then wait a few weeks and do a new blood test, can’t I can’t I?
But I suppose it was for the best that I went to see her today. And it went, okay.
Not too much new development. She said it was a good thing that I had suggested the acv thing, because she probably would not have come up with that. Then she asked me if I eat a lot of licorice. I must admit that I do. I don’t remember how much I’ve written about it here, but I eat these sugarfree licorice things. The great thing about them is that they don’t really trigger my blood sugar, it’s like candy that I can have as a diabetic. The bad thing is they’re super rich in fiber. So. Have you seen the old Colon Blow cereal commercials from snl? Yeah. Eating a lo of that licorce kind of blows right through you. And that become sort of a crutch, you get that nice ’empty’ feeling, like you’re not fat. Yeah yeah. I definitely have some eating disorder type issues.
Anyway, she told me to stop eating those. Funnily enough, I haven’t eaten them in a couple of days, because of the stuff that’s been going on. And I feel like I’ve slept better. Random chance, or is it because my stomach isn’t loaded with fiber? I don’t know. But it would be nice if I could get overall better sleep. It’s going to be difficult to kick the habit though. I am addicted to that feeling of.. stuffing my mouth. I think it’s kind of like smokers who get addicted to that habit of moving the cigarette to their mouths. So they have to replace it wit something else. I replaced all the candy I used to eat with this licorice. Which doesn’t trigger much glucose reaction, so it’s ‘safe’. I wish there was some healthy snack that had the feel of unhealthy snacks but no downside. I can eat an apple or a carrot, but the feeling just isn’t the same.
Anyway, yeah. Definitely no eating disorder type stuff here, definitely not something I’ll be struggling with for the rest of my life, nope.
Anywayway, even with the order to quit the acv and licorice, the doc still wanted me to start taking potassium supplements again, and 3 a day because my numbers were so low. So I’m going to be doing that for a month and then get blood tests done again. I expect by then my potassium numbers should be good, the question will then be if I can keep them up without hte supplements. Unlike last time. But I guess we’ll see.
I did talk to the doc a bit about my blackouts and all that. She knew about most of it, but wasn’t that much into the details of it, because that stuff has been handled by the hospital docs, not my personal doc. So I filled her in on some of that. She didn’t seem to want to do anything else about that right now, I did tell her that I had one Saturday. But I guess for now I’ll have to wait for my appointment at the neuro in September, while working on getting my potassium. I know potassium is a critical mineral to the body’s functions, so who knows if me being depleted in it is tied to my blackouts. But as far as I know I didn’t have low potassium three years ago when I also suffered from some blackouts. So I don’t know.
But that’s where I am now. At least I went to the doctor. And the potassium situation is being dealt with.
My ribs hurting quite a bit when I move. But I guess that will take a few weeks to settle, like past bruised/bent ribs. This feels like ALL my ribs were borked instead of just one. Just needs time to heal I suppose.
I am such a mess. But I’m limping along. And I’ll do my best. I think being forced to drop the licorice is probably also going to be the end of my weight loss journey. I used that a lot. To stuff my mouth without gainign weight, and to cleanse myself out. And I know that’s not good. I will probably have to eat more normally now, which is healthier of course. But I will probably put on weight. That’s okay. I’m not the skinny type. It’s just hard when you’ve been fat all your life. When you get the chance to be not fat, you get willing to go to extremes for it. I’ll keep exercising hard, hopefully that can keep me in a pretty healthy state, even if it’s not skiny.
Bla bla, I’ll cut the ramble here. I’m gettnig me some soup now, that’s healthy food. So that’s something.
I am very tired, I am quite hurty, the depression is still heavy. But at least I got through this bit. So hopefully I can get some time now to just goat around and not worry too much.
30/6 2026
—
.
On a sweeter note, as I was sitting in the bus i on my way to the doctor, a young mother with a little girl got on. She was probably 6-7 years old or something. And they were singing. And then at one point a huge truck next to us honked, for some traffical reason I imagine, and the girl went “it honked!” and then started singing “it honked, it honked ,it honkes..”. Pretty cute!
It made me smile anyway, sitting there with pained ribs and worries for the future.
30/6 2026
—
.
I treated myself to a B & J today. I thought I deserved it after, you know heat wave and passing out and doctoring.
In retrospect, having the iced cream DURING the heatwave would probably have been smarter. It is a good deal cooler now. But it is still quite hot, and I haven’t had iced cream for so so long. So that was nice.
After the doctor visit I had to stop to pick up the potassium tablets. And that place happens to be right next to the only place where I know I can find the big packs of shelled peanuts that I use as treats for the goats. So I went in there and got a couple of packs of peanuts, and then I grabbed the B & J. Now that I’m now allowed to have the licorice, I need stuff to do with my mouth. And I enjoyed the B & J.
Getting real tired of the hurting ribs. When you sit still you kind of forget it, but then you move and it’s like, oh yeah, pain. And instead of one rib, it feels like all the ribs. If you ever want to make an Eve, you’re not getting any of MY ribs, I tell you wut.
One day a day. Today’s the first day in the rest of your fight.
30/6 2026
—
.
I’m eating so many bananas it seems they finally made a monkey out of me!
Taking it easy today. I am itching to get back to exercising and goating, but my body is needing a litle time. The hurting ribs are quite annoying. But it’s not too bad. Especially when I sit still.
Having to adjust to a new normal now. Giving up the licorice is actually quite a big deal. It has practically no sugar and carbs and fat, so I have been able to use it just like a constant snack in the past. And then the extreme high fiber content, well without going into too much graphic detail it kind of cleans you out. So it’s been like having a healthy snack that keeps you lean. The downside being a lot of toilet visits…
But now I have to deal without it. Apples and bananas are not the same. And I feel quite bloated. Stomach pressing on the ribs…. but I’m sure it’s a lot better for my digestive system. in the long run. I just have to accept that my lean days are over. Hopefully when I can get back to proper exercising I’ll be able to keep reasonably fit. We’ll see.
It would be nice if I could stop passing out though, that would probably be the best thing, let’s hope for that.
The sun really hits my apartment around 6pm to 8 pm. It’s not heatwave anymore, but it gets hot. In my old apartment the sun hit earlier in the day. I kind of preferred that. But okay.
The forecast says we have rain coming, so it won’t be too long before I complain about it being too cold again!
And it’s July, can you believe it. A third of the summer is gone. Time always moves too fast or too slow, it’s never just right. In my experience. I have nowhere to go and I’m not in a hurry to get there.
Anyway, happy Canada Day to my Canadonian friends! Now that we’re practically at war with America ( I kid I kid ) you guys are the chosen ones. Let’s all huddle up and talk about the yanks behind their backs!
I am sorry, I would like to pre-emptively apoligise for any offensive remarks made by me. They were probably written by Trance Lasse, you know the severance thing. It wasn’t me, it was him!
1/7 2026
—
.
It’s another day. Hold on. *checks calendar*. Yes, yes it is.
I feel… bodysnatched. I don’t know who is driving my body, but it doesn’t feel like me.
Feeling pretty detached. And hurty and sad. But hey hey, one day a day day.
I was hoping and planning to go see the goats today. But I was not quite ready for that. Maybe I should have forced myself to just go. But I didn’t. So there. I think the rest of the week will be spent trying to find my way back to myself. Get back to some light exercising. Leg stuff mostly I guess since my chest and ribs are still hurting. But some kind of physical activity to get back in motion. Right now I feel trapped in tar like a dinosawr.
And not eating well, which isn’t helping. Have to find a new normal without the licorice. Trying some different things for the next grocery delivery. Including sugarfree chewing gum. I have never really been into chewing gum. But like smoking, there’s a need to break habits. It’s so ingrained in me, to just reach down and grab licorice and stuff it in my mouth. Maybe chewing gum can help me keep my mouth busy and out of trouble.
I took the trash down earlier, and it was raining. It would have been lovely to sit in the goat house and watch the summer rain with the girls, after that brutal little heatwave. Though I know the goats wouldn’t be happy about the rain.
It is hard to not feel like I have just completely failed and messed up and now I’m totally lost, hacking way through thick vines in the deep rain forest and no idea where the path is. Am I heading deeper into oblivion or is there salvation around the corner? Is that a tiger I hear roaring or is it a coca cola vending machine, tm.
Alright alright.
Just like me in the jungle, this is going nowhere.
Try again tomorrow?
2/7 2026
—
.
Happy Friday Friday Friday.
Nothing really new here. I let myself have another day of pretty much doing nothing, and being unhealthy living.
Not smart. But not quite ready start the work to get back on dry land. Still feeling quite lost at sea.
Did not sleep well last night. In fact I only got about an hour’s sleep. Not good for the mental.. what’s that thing? State.
I am retaining water. Legs and feet specially swollen.
Ribs feel a bit better. But I am still in pain. And uncomfortable because I ate too much and am bloated now and water swollen. I’m quite the mess!
And it’s been storming so hard outside that I haven’t felt comfortable leaving my balcony doors open, so now it’s hot and humid inside.
Complaints complaints complaints!
So yeah, not feeling great physically and mentally.
But I hope tomorrow I will manage to stop ordering junk food, and start exercising. I have not done so since the blackout last Saturday. So I need to get back on track. I don’t need to work too hard, I just need to get started so I can get into the rhythm again slowly. It’s going to be a challenging time ahead. Now that I can’t do my licorice diet anymore.. I have already let myself go. The next couple of months I’ll have to try to get back to some kind of health. But (relatively) lean and skinny Lasse is going to be a thing of the past. It’s going to be chubbier Lasse, but hopefully in decent fitness once I get that going. I’ll try.
I am really quite tired of it all and I would like to sleep forever. But that’s probably not likely to happen. So I’ll settle for sleeping tonight maybe a little thanks.
Hopefully the potassium supplements will start having some effect soon. Because I feel like my body isn’t working properly right now. But how knows it’s really the potassium deficienccy or if it’s… everything else.
Blabla, that’s all for now. Tomorrow is the first step on the journey to.. the next steps. Here we go. Hope you’re all doing well. Sorry you have to listen to all this drivel and watch me spiral. Fight to live another day.
3/7 2026
—
.
Happy 4theth of Julyeth to all my American friendereenos.
Now get your sht together.
Haha, no offense. But when country is still talking about wanting to take territory from my country, I feel entitled to being a little salty.
But anyway, I love my American friends and I know the vast majority of you are good reasonable people who don’t want to wage war against my country. And thank you for that.
I guess i should not go on for 5 more pages about America, you know how I feel. So have a nice day, and keep the animals safe. Fk fireworks. And I hope you survive the assault from the inside, that you can get past the grifters who are dragging your through the filth.
Alright, shut up me.
So other than that. I am feeling a little better still. Unfortunately I did not get exercise done today. I can’t really blame anything but me being lazy. I am a very lazy person. I can work hard when I get into the groove of it, but when I get out of the rhythm.. it is hard to get back.
I’ll probably take it easy for the rset of the weekend too. Let my body recuperate a bit, and then next week I’ll be foced back into action. Because I badly need goat time. That’ll get my body going again. And hopefully I can get back on track then.
For now I’m just floundering.
I did get sleep last night. I woke up after an hour and thought “oh no, not again. Am I only going toget an hour tonight?”. But I feel back asleep and it was decent. Getting better sleep would do me a lot of good, I think.
Ribs and chest are still sore, but I feel it’s progressing. Water bloating not quite as bad today.
Got a delivery of Pepsi and bananas. And some sugarfree things. I know I have to be careful with that stuff. Eating a whole bag of sugarfree things, well that will have a similar effect as a bag of extremely fiber rich licorice. But having some different things to pick at, maybe I can learn to manage that.
Got me chewing gum. So we’ll see if that might keep my big fat mouth out of trouble.
Yeah, I’m still not functioning great. But hopefully I’ll get there. Mentally and physically a little bit better today, and it’s better to get better than to get worse. That’s my expert opinion. Put that on a T-shirt and sell it at the White House.
Have a good one, thanks for the sontinued support. It’s been a rough week for me, but at least it’s almost done.
4/7 2026
—
.
I am tired of hurting. I am tired of doubting. I am tired of being afraid.
I am tired of hurting others. I am tired of doubting others. I am tired of being afraid of others.
i am tired of myself.
4/7 2026
—
.
goatlog

5/7 2026
—
.
Thank you everyone.
Hope the ‘mericans had a good 4th.
I’m going to run out the clock on this week. Hope the next one will be better.
Be better, stop getting worse.
5/7 2026
—
.
Heading to bed early tonight. It has not been a great week for me. Mentally and physically damaged, put on a good deal weight I bet, ribs still hurting. Just.. not. Great.
But I will do my best to get back to reality tomorrow. That is the goal. Doesn’t have to be great, just have to start working my way back n the right track. And we’ll see how it all goes from there.
It’s a new beginning, in several ways. I’ll sleep on that.
Thank you again everyone. I appreciate having so many good people on my side. I know I’m not a lot of fun when I’m like this. And by “like this” I mean LIKE ME. Always. *does a little jig*. comedy doesn’t pay, Jay.
Okay, see you in another, brother. Tomorrow.
5/7 2026
—
.
.
—
That’s all for now.

Good goat times today. A hot one. Not quite as hot as the weekend, but hot enough. Burning sunshine. A beautiful summer’s day.
I wasn’t feeling my best in the morning. I mentioned that I had eaten unhealthily again, well I was downplaying that. I had pizza and cake, multiple times. Because my depression demands to be fed.
So today I was bloated and out of shape again, staggering along. At least my leg wasn’t hurting too bad. A little bit of pain when prodded, but I could walk fine without pain. So that was good
But yeah, I was feeling depressed and fat and dumb. Thankfully the goats make that all go away. And just sitting around with them in the unshine is the best medicine.
It was mostly just sitting around today, because it was so hot. Goats soaking up ths sunshine, until it got too much and they retreated to the shade. A little bit of headbutting and some competing for snacks, but mostly just relaxing.
And sweet visitors. Lots of people taking advantage of the gloriosu weather. And I guess maybe it’s summer vacation by now? There were some eager kids saying hit to the goats and swinging the swings. One lady came in to take photos of the goats and she asked their names. And was impressed by Bella enjoying a hoof massage.
A lovely day to recharge the solar power brain cells. Now I have to get back in the swing of the exercise and tomato. Up and down the rollercoaster goes.
Right now it’s time for some soup. It’s kind of too hot for soup, but you know what I say. It’s not too hot for soup. That’s what I say. I should have a big sign printed of that saying so I can just carry it around and save my voice.
22/6 2026
—
.

I got mauled by the goats again.
Well, this picture is just a sun-hug from Luna. I think it was her that got me during breakfast, though.
Actually, I think I just tripped over her. I was giving them breakfast down in the pen because the weather was so great. I was reaching out to fill up the bowl I had put up on the platform, and then someone crashed into my legs. Or I tripped over them. Truth is subjective. Anyway,, I fell forward. Thankfully I caught a hold of the platform and steadied my self, no injuries. But I did send half the goat breakfast frying over the platform and on the ground. The goats discussed this among themselves and reached the conclusion that I should go fetch some more to make sure no one was left hungry. Well, who am I to argue with the bosses..

22/6 2026
—
.
Bella sitting down on one of the podiums. Not often she sits there, that’s typically Sky’s spot. And sometimes Luna. But I guess she wanted to get out of the sunshine, and there’s lovely shade under the big tree there.

22/6 2026
—
.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

22/6 2026
—
.
Fkk. My computer overheated agan and shortcircuited and took out the electrical outlet, turning off the TV and everything connected to that plug.
So that’s not good. If it was the old system with those round physical fuses, I’d probably have to change a fuse. But I think the system handles all that automatically
But it’s not good that I short circuit the eletrical plug. At some point it’s going to do permanent damage to the computer, if not my whole apartment or start a fire.
Ugh.
I really need a new computer. And I really don’t want to deal with that.
I looked in my Windows settings and my power setting was set to “high performance”. I have changed it to “Balanced” now. I don’t know if that will make any difference at all.
This really bites. It makes me want to get cake and pizza and hide in bed for a week.
Sigh.
Well, in other news. I got my package today. No problem at all. I wrote down the “collection code” but the package store guy just looked at it and asked “what’s this?”. I told him about hte QR code stuff and that it had never happened before and I didn’t even know if he needed it. He just shrugged and went and got my package and handed it to me. So that was literally a lot of worrying for nothing. But at least I got my package, and I hope in the future it will continue to go without problems. Feel kind of stupid for taking 30 pictures of a QR code on my pc screen now.
Also, is your fridge running? Because mine is, thankfully. When I got up this morning my fridge door was not a door, it was ajar. Either I have little kitchen gremlins having fridge parties at night, or I didn’t close the fridge door properly before going to bed yesterday. Leaving it open all night in this hot weather. At last it didn’t blow a fuse, even if I ould feel a lot of heat from the back.
Got my balcony doors open and the fan running now, so hopefully it’s cool enough that my pc won’t blow up again. For now.
I used to long for the hot days to come, now I look at the forecast and see super hot days coming and I wonder if I’ll have to just leave my computer off all day. And effectively cut me off from my life.
Tra la.
I’m going to drown my sorrows in iced Pepsi.
I am tired of everything.
22/6 2026
—
.
Luna checking if I was okay when I had to lay back in the heat.
Okay, checking if the treats were okay.

22/6 2026
—
.
Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Back to work. Rollercoastering in. I am tiiired now. Also got a Pepsi & tomato delivery. I’ll be enjoying some of that later.
I was worried about my computer during the exercise. I always keep it how. With balcony doors closed and space heater going rught at me. So I was a little concerned if my computer would blow up during that. I have a big timer running on the computer screen when I’m on the bike, to keep track of how long I have been going and when it’s time to change to different sets and intervals. I was worried it would overheat with the space heater going on a hot day. But it made through. It wasn’t doing any computations other than running the clocktimer, so no stress on the systems. Let’s see how it continues to cope. As I said I have changed the Windows power plan to balaned. I have also turn of some stuff. And switched to a different power strip. Maybe that will solve everything.
I do have started looking at new computers. It’s kind of exciting. But I dread the change and expense and don’t want to deal with it. But if I get another overheating despite the cnanges I have made, then I think I’ll have to buy a new pc. Fiddlesticks and sockleknocks.
Anyway, my leg did fine for the exercise. There’s still a little soreness from the injury, but no pain from riding the bike. So no excuses for not getting back to working hard, I guess!
Need me some iced Pesppee now.
23/6 2026
—
.
The blooper reel has been updated for the premium subscribers.
23/6 2026
—
.
Got an hour fiftyfive on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Phew that was a hot one. Hottest one yet, probably. Hot day and space heater going. My computer didn’t explode and I didn’t get heatstroke, so that’s good. And it was a good session, my legs felt strong. Maybe the extra stretches I did last night helped. Felt good and strong, and with the sweat pouring from the heat and effort. That’s the stuff.
Now I will enjoy me a plater of tomatoes and a few gallons of ide Pepsi. I don’t know what a gallon is, your measurements confuse and anger me. *shakes fist*
I got a mail from the neuro clinic. “We unfortunately have to reschedule your appointment on September 22nd”. Well, they rescheduled it to September 9th. So. No reason to apologise for that. Still aways off. It’s been almost two months without a blackout now, so hey maybe that thing is totally fixed yeah yeah, why not.
24/6 2026
—
.
there is no water in the river
it has run dry
there are no fish anymore
they all died
there are no humans in the houses
they all moved out to the forest
they are living in the trees now
scared of the ground
there are no birds in the sky
they have stopped singing
there was no one left to listen
all the clocks have stopped ticking
there was no time left to lose
24/6 2026
—
.
Oh look, a goat.. It’s Bella.

24/6 2026
—
.
Good goat times today. A bloody gorgeous sunny day. Scorching. It’s getting up around 28C/82F. That’s very hot for Denmark. And it’s going to be getting even hotter tha next 3 days. The European heatwave is hitting Denmark.
You would think on such a hot day the goats wouldn’t want to do anything at all. But they were actually quite active, at least at first. Bella and Luna had some serious headbutting duels. And got Sky running. I had locked us in the big pen together to spend some time with her. And she started running excitedly and kinda goaded (goatet?) her into getting really fast, she was running up the hill and down and kicking up her heels, almost doing pirouettes. It was so cute and funny. The most exercise she’s had in a long time I think. I did start to think maybe it wasn’t a great idea to get her that worked up in this heat. So I sat down and tried to calm her down again. And went and fetched the water bucket for her so she could cool down. Maybe something to do on a cooler day! I can’t remember the last time I saw her move that fast that much. She’s still got some moves, even as she’s getting older. What is she now, she must be nearing 9 years old. Still the baby, according to visitors.
Also lots of sweet kids coming to say hi to the goats. They were all enjoying the lovely summer weather too.
And after all the excitement, we of course spent time just relaxing in the sun. Hopefully the goats will get through the next few days okay. The forecast says we could get up to 34C/93F. That’s something we rarely see here. Three days of that might be challenging. Maybe the goat house needs some airconditioning.
I have some other stuff, non goat, to talk about. But I’m going to need some soup now. Even though it’s too hot for soup, you know I always say it’s not too hot for soup. Soup is a state of mind, your body will just have to adjust to it.
25/6 2026
—
.
Sunshine breakfast.

25/6 2026
—
.
In the sun, with goats.

25/6 2026
—
.
Today was not just goating in the sunshine. I also had a doctor’s appointment in the morning. So before heading into the sun, I headed downtown.
Blood test for the diabetes and potassium stuff.
Once that was done I headed to the goats and figured I wouldn’t have to think about that all for a while.
Fastforward to later that day, today, back home from the goats and coming out of the shower, the sun scorching outside. And then I got a txt message. From the doctor’s office. Huh, I though. The message confirmed my appointment for next week. Huh, I thought. So I got my computer turned on and went to the online patient portal. And there was a message from my doctor. They got the results back from the blood tests already, and unfortunately my potassium is down again. I stopped taking the suppllements as directed about a month ago. So without supplements my potassium is too low. That’s not good. And the doctor wanted me to come in next week so we can try to figure out what’s going.
Sigh. So now I have to deal with that next week.
There’s always something. I know most of the things are negligible, often not even worth worrying about. But there’s never nothing. There’s always something.
I am tired. Of dealing with things. And now my depression is shouting in my face that what’s the point in trying to be healthy when my body is going to fail me anyway, what is the point of trying when you inevitably fail?
As I mentioned, the next three days are scheduled to be super hot. My plan is, was, will be, to work really hard and exercise and sweat off the pounds and really make an effort. And now my depression is screaming in my face to just sleep late, sit in front of the computer, order cake and pizza. At least you will feel good in the moment, then you can worry about the aftermath later.
Yeah yeah yeah. I’ll do the work hard thing, take advantage of the heat wave. But man. Depression is a bee, buzz kill.
And I’ll see how it goes next week with the doctor. I am imagining it’s not something we can just talk out, I will probably need more appointments, more tests, examinations, invasive questions, things I don’t want to deal with. More things, instead of nothing.
I am lucky to live in a country with excellent health care, lucky to have a family that supports me, lucky to have a great support system online, treasured friends.
Those are things I am thankful for.
25/6 2026
—
.
Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Hot weather, raincoat on, space heater going. It’s tough, but I love it when the going gets tough. On the bike at least. I will do my best to stick to the plan, to work hard. As temperatures soar and the European heatwave cooks Denmark. I feel like a slab of meat on the gril. Just turn me over periodically and douse me with barbie q sauce.
I also did some detective work about my potassium levels today. Maybe came up with an explanation for the low levels. Maybe not. But maybe?
I was trying to think if I could come up with a reason why my potassium levels are too low. Maybe it’s something my body, my organs, whatever. Can’t really do anything about that on my own. What if it’s something from the outside? I take a bunch of supplements and vitamins and stuff like that. I was thinking if something I take might affect my potassium levels. I remembered when trying to find ways to improve my sleep that I think I read about apple cider vinegar affecting magnesium. i take quite a bit of acv, it’s supposed to help fat loss and blood sugar management. I take it in tablet forms because I’m paranoid about the acid damaging my teeth. But I know magnesium and potassium are kind of related, at least they are often talked about together in the stuff I have looked at. So I wondered to myself I wondered, if acv might affect magnesium, might it affect potassium too?
I went to Dr Google, who you should always trust and listen to, and it suggested that acv might cause low potassium. At least if you take too much of it. I am not sure if the amount I take would be enough to cause this. But it’s the best guess I have had so far.
So. I have sent off a message to my doctor. Basically saying “acv bla bla, would it be an idea if I completely stop taking acv and we wait 2-3 weeks and I come in and get blood tests done again and we see if my potassium is better?”
I haven’t got a reply yet, and it’s 3 pm on a Friday so I guess I won’t. I think I will call in to the doctor’s office on Monday. And hear if it’s okay that we cancel the appointment I have next week with the doc. I really hope so. I would like to avoid going to that appointment next week. Then I could wait 2-3 weeks and just go get blood tests done and then maybe everything would be fine and maybe that would be all I needed to have done for this.
Wouldn’t that be handy?
Let’s hope that’s how it goes. It does make sense to me. The acid is burning away the ptoassium, or however that works. And that’s why my potassium is too low. That would be a nice simple cause and effect with an easy solution.
Let’s my hopes up!
I’m going to have myself some nice tomatoes and iced Pepsi tonight, and sweat my butt off for the weekend. And try not to listen to the depression.
One day a day.
26/6 2026
—
.
Now I know what flourballs feel like in a pot of soup. I’m boooooiling.
I have both balcony doors open, and the fan pointed right at me. And I still feel like … I can’t.. complete… metaphor… brain.. is… melting.
Anyway, if it wasn’t for my worry about my computer, I wouldn’t mind so much. I think I can hope better with the heat than with cold. And I feel cold even when it’s not cold. All it takes is a breeze and I feel cold.
But okay, it IS very hot now. Very very. Very. Hot.
I wonder if my computer will survive the day. It hasn’t had an electric shock and overheat shutdown since I did the changes to the power settings and changed the power strip and shut off some ervices. But I don’t know if the changes I made has had a real effect or if it’s just because I’m being so careful and taking precautions to not stress the system. I don’t want to tiptoe around my computer for the rest of my life, I need to be able to use it fully. Like editing goat videos without fear of losing all the work i did to a shutdown.
Researching the computer stuff has made me really want a new computer. It’s just going to be so expensive. Sigh. Maybe I can sell goat berries, they can sell like crystals right?
26/6 2026
—
.
The forecast for tomorrow says 36C/97F. I honestly cannot remember ever seeing temperatures that high in a forecast. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened before in Denmark, I just don’t recall it.
And just to showcase what Danish summe weather is like, the forecast for Tuesday says 21C/70F. And that’s even a decent summer’s day for Denmark. Pretty big dip from Saturday to Tuesday, though.
It’s going to be interesting exercising in 36/97 degrees. I better drinks my waters.
It’s 11 pm now, and survivably cool. With the fan going.
26/6 2026
—
.
Ooh, one of our videos has gone a tiny bit viral. 12.000+ views. Most of our videos land between 4-700 views. Every few days we’ll get a video that breaks a thousand. But it’s been a long time since we had this many views on a video. I used to try to game the algorithm and get popular and make memes and all that. I try not to worry about all that anymore. I’m thankful for all the familiar faces I see on the page, the names you get to know and the lovely feeling that there are people who enjoy what you post, and it’s lovely when you can send some positivity to people.
But it is fun when you see a video get popular. And Bella’s newfound habit of sliding down the ramps is pretty funny.
And now I think I need to get to bed because i am tired and heated.
27/6 2026
—
.
Thank you everyone for the comments, advice, support. I appreciate it. Don’t have the capacity to reply to every comment, but I really appreciate that people care about me.
Heading to be soon now. I was going to exercise tomorrow again, but considering the blackout and all, maybe I shouldn’t. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.
I have scheduled a delivery of Pepsi, and bananas. To get that potassium, hopefully.
I’m pretty sore now, because of the blackout I didn’t get to stretch properly after today’s exercise. So that’s not great. It’s tempting to think that the severe heat was the cause, but my previous blackouts have mostly been in much cooler temperatures, so I don’t think it’s necessarily connected to that. But I don’t know. But it seems safe to say that my issues are certainly not fixed, so I’ll be trying to make it to that neuro appointment in September. I don’t really think the potassium deficiency is the cause of the blackouts, since my potassium levels have been fine in the past when I had blackouts.
But I don’t know. I am tired and depressed and want to give up. But hey hey, I fight to lvie another day. One day a day.
Thank you everyone for caring, those who do. I appreciate it and I am sorry to be a cause of concern.
28/6 2026
—
.
goatlog

28/6 2026
—
.
Oh hello there, I didn’t see you come in. I am in pain. My whole body feels like it was run over by a truck. I guess I didn’t get to stretch properly fast enough yesterday because of the blackout. My ribs are hurting too. I wonder if I fell or something. Or maybe it’s dehydration or something. I don’t know. Just know my whole body aches. It’s not super bad, but it’s not fun.
Originally I had planned to exercise again today, but I suppose I better take a break. It’s still very hot, although not the record breaking highs like yesterday.
My memories of yesterday are fragmented. It’s all a bit of a blur. I am feeling tired, sad and hurting. Tra la.
Thank you everyone for all the support. I appreciate that you care about me.
28/6 2026
—
.
I am not feeling great. My whole body aches. I sneezed a couple of times and it hurt my ribs. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.
And then there’s the mental anguish of having more blackouts and what to expect.
Did I mention my MP3 player disappeared yesterday after I exercised? Apparently when I was blacked out I moved boxes around and stuff. I was getting in a panic over my missing MP3 player because without that my exercising would be severely hindered. Turned out I had thrown it in the trash can, I think? Weird.
i worry about what I might do when I black out. I seem to either go into some kind of catatonic state, or in some kind of autopilot state where I actually do things. Like opening the balcony door. What if I had walked on the balcony and fallen over the railing?
Or what if it happens when i get a grocery delivery. I got one today. mostly for banana. I ate my last bananas yesterday, and I figure since I apparently need potassium I better oder some new ones, even though my origina plan asn’t to get another order until the end of next week. But I wanted those bananas, and I can always use more Pepsi for my stock.
It was a little nervewracking sitting there watching the delivery van approach on the tracker, and worrying what if I black out now? Would I let him in, would I get the order or miss it?
Well, it went fine. This time. Hopefully there will be a month or two till the next blackout… and then it’s almost September and maybe the neuro clinic can help me.
I’m just depressed and hurting now. And it’s so hot. Not quite as hot as the last couple of record breaking days. But plenty hot enough.
Okay, in the spirit of total disclosure, I got pizza and cake today. Self mediating. I figure it’s not too bad if I get that in the weekend, then work hard during the week. I might not be able to get super skinny then, but maybe I’ll do better mentally. Keep my metabolism going. I don’t know. But I did today, so that’s that. Blueberry pie and pizza, doesn’t take the physical pain away but at least it give some pleasure. And some banana for the potassium. And iced Pepsi.
Alright I’ll shut up now. I am struggling. But I fight to lve another day, one day a day.
Thank you all for the support.
28/6 2026
—
.
Thank you everyone for all the comments, support, advice. I am not doing great, but hopefully it will be okay. We’ll see what next week brings.
Staying hydrated!

28/6 2026
—
.
.
—
That’s all for now.