Shoulder The Pain

October 18th, 2026

Good goat times today. Back to the goat place where I belong. And it was a beautiful day. Lots of sunshine. Some clouds, but lots of blue skies too. Just from the look at it you might have thought it was summer.
But it as a cold morning, though. Down below 5C/41F. For the first time this season I felt the bite of coldness. Too cold for me. It must have rained too, or maybe it was melted night frost. Everything was quite wet.
But it was so good to be out in the sun with the goats. The sun doesn’t really reach the goat house much now it seems, so we were down in the big pen by the platforms a lot. The goats were already down there when I arrived. Luna and Sky seemed to be sharing a platform. I think sometimes Luna gets a little tired of bossy Bella and wants to be around Sky instead. Nice when Sky doesn’t flee.
We had a really sweet group of visitors too. Maybe 6-7 kids and 3-4 adults. It’s fall vacation in Denmark and they were out enjoying the lovely weather. The kids were sweet and got to pet the goats a lot. One of the adults said “you must be some kind of goat whisper”. It’s always nice being recognised for being close with the goats.
There may also have been a mini-Keiko. At least I heard one of the adults a couple of times going “we don’t touch tem on the butts, not on the butts”. I decided not to tell them that the goats actualy looove being scratched on their rears.
There was also a kid that got down on their hand and knees and mused the adults by playing goat.
And when Luna got tired of all the fuss and started swinging her head (just occured to me she does that with kids when annoyed just like she does it at the chickens, hah) then the adult said “it’s saying ‘no thank you’ so just leave it alone”. I hear “no thank you” a lot from adult caregivers. When kids do something they aren’t supposed to the adults will go “no thank you” insted of “don’t do that!”.
Anyway, that was a sweet and fun bunch, quite lovely.
Good day with the goats. The walk there wasn’t fun though. Frustrating that a walk that I could take without any problems, without even thinking about it, is now challenging and painful. You never know what you have until it’s gone.
Well now I’m going to have some soup until it’s gone IN MY BELLY.
12/10 2026
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Sunshine on goats make me happy.

12/10 2026
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Look at that beautiful Sky, and look at that beautiful sky.

12/10 2026
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Hanging out with Sky and Luna. Not that often i get to sit with those two together for that long.

12/10 2026
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Bella and the blue sky. I didn’t really think I’d get to post pictures like this anymore this year.

12/10 2026
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Ohioh. It’s been a bit up and down today.
I had a pretty good morning actually. I haven’t taken painkillers at all today. The pain, not too bad. I did some stretching in bed. I actually managed to do some almost-situps. Not from lying completely falt, but lying with my upper body on my big bulky pillows. But still, raising my upper body up without bad pain is quite novel. The least amount of pain I have felt in 3ish weeks. There’s still a kind of.. disconnect, in my lower back. Like it’s been severed. Okay, not that dramatically. But it still feels like there’s kind of a weakness or disconnect between my .. pelvis or hips or something, and my lower back. I don’t know. Definitely not feeling normal, but feeling progress. So hopefully that will carry on.
It made me almost optimistic and I was starting to make plans about how I was going to lose some weight before the SleepEEG. I think I said that was in 3 weeks, but for those keeping track, it’s actually in 2 weeks. So not too far away. And my anxiety is starting to ramp up. I can’t remember the last time I slept another way than alone at home. Maybe almost 20 years ago when I got admitted to the hospital when they discovered the diabetes? I do not go on vacations or sleepover. Anyway, I’m sure it will be fine. And I am sure I will have lots of anxiety and worry, because that’s how I do.
Anyhoo, I would like to lose a little weight before it. Because I have gained weight due to the inactivity and overeating to cope with sadness and pain.
But then, I discover that a website that I use a lot for recreational fun and good times is most likely going to close down in the near future. Not like I can’t live without it, but it really sucks. You never know what you have until you don’t. It could still get saved, but I doubt it.
So that of course sent my depression spiralling. Because I have a fragile mind. Maybe because of my shrunken brain? Who knows.
Anyway, instead of putting in effort to do better, I ordered pizze and fries. Whoops.
But ok. I’ll try to do better. And hopefully my back is progressing favourably and will continue to do so. That would be nice.
I just feel like my body and mind is a decomposing mess and things keep getting worse and there’s always something bad around the corner. Fatalism, it’s a lot of fun!
But at least the pizza was good.
One day a day.
13/10 2026
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Going to be heading to bed soon. Made it through the day without painkillers. First tiem since The Incident.
I will probably take a couple before heading to bed, just as a pre-emptive strike. But painwise, it’s been the best day in a long time. So that’s good. I hope that it’s a sign that I’m getting better, not just random fluctuation.
Btw, please send me 100,000 buckazoids asap to cover my goat treat budget, honey.
13/10 2026
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goatlog

14/10 2026
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Got an hour fifteen on the bike today. So I got that going for me.
Oh boy. Well, the bike ride went great. That was good. But then. Sigh. Got on the floor to do exercises and stretches for the back. And I gues that was a mistake, yeah. I was feeling pain while doing it, but I was trying to push through. Shouldn’t have done that. When I got up afterwards, well I barely got up. Could barely stand up right. Really bad pain. Almost couldn’t move around. Had to gobble down a triple painkiller cocktail and a turmeric capsule and then basically sit around for an hour trying to find positions that alleviated it somewhat.
I was hoping it was all getting better, but there’s clearly still something very wrong in my core. I won’t be doing those kinds of exercising again any time soon.
It’s gotten somewhat better now, not as excruciating bad. But still not good.
And the positivity I was feeling has now been replaced by feeling defeated. Again. And again and.
And as if that wasn’t all enough, now I seem to have hurt my shoulder?! Not sure what happened, I had just sat down at the computer and I was moving my left arm and I felt something snap or something. Now there’s pain in my shoulder, or maybe it’s the top of my upper arm. When I move my arms in some directions.
It’s not super super bad, nowhere near as bad as the back pain. But it’s not nice. I hope this isn’t a new permanent thing to deal with. I’m getting real sick and tired of pain.
Getting real sick and tired of everything. Just want to give up it all. My mind is broken, my body is falling apart, everything gets worse. Never better, only worse.
At least I haven’t lost my positive spirit, yuck nyuck.
Hopefully I haven’t wrecked my back too much. Last time I did those kinds of exercises, after biking, I also had more painright after. I figured that was just the immediate stress, it did get bettera fter that. Hopefully this keeps getting better too. Hopefully I can get back to at least not being constant pain.
I’m going to have to go to the doctor. I just. Can’t deal with it right now. Hopefully I can get to feeling okay enough to at least go a cuple of weeks. Get the EEG done. And then I’ll have to go to the doctor.
I am so tired of everything.
14/10 2026
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Think goat thoughts. I think this one qualifies as a selfie with Bella and Luna.

14/10 2026
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Halløjsa. How am I doing?
I’ve been better. My back is thankfully doing better after yesterday. That was real bad. I’m back to sort of being able to sit around and not feel pain. As long as I stay still. Not as good as before I did those dumb exercises, but a lot better than right after.
My shoulder is still hurting. So, I guess that’s a thing now. I feel like there have been too many times in recent memory where I have had to say “Well, this is my life now”.
It’s not super bad. But it’s another thing causing pain. Another thing that forces me to think about how I move to try to avoid pain. I’m glad it’s my left arm at least, since i’m right-handed. If I move the arm in the wrong way then it hurts. A pain I can grit my teeth and bear, but it’s just. More pain.
I had hoped to go see the goats today. But with all the pain and all the feeling worn down, I ended up sleeping in. And I have had several long naps in my chair after getting up. I just want to sleep everything away.
Thanks everyone for the supportive comments. Sorry if I’m a bummer right now. Feeling pretty far down.
But one day a day.
Got the SleepEEG in a week and a half. And after that I suppose I’ll have to go to the doc about my back. And hey maybe my shoulder too. I can’t imagine it’s broken or anything, so what else is there to do than wait and hope it heals? Stupid body. Is this the thanks I get for treating you like oh wait right yeah okay.
Anyway, hope you’re all doing well.
15/10 2026
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Are there any evil global corporations who want to do some experiments involving a Robo Goat Herder? Because I am willing to participate. Just replace my body with a metal exoskeleton and let me herd goats.
ROBOGOATHERDER *robocop theme*
I’m sure it wouldn’t freak out the goats or anything.
15/10 2026
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For the record, I am glad that it seems like America has called off the livestream of the execution. Should probably state that, since I complained about it previously.
Not that I for a second think it has anything to do with compassion or morals or anything. I don’t know why they changed course, maybe publically murdering a guy in a wheelchair right before midterms was bad optics or something.
But I’m glad they reversed the decision. The decision they made and publicly proclaimed as if it was normal and righteous. Glad society is not quite at the stage of public executions yet. Not quite.
I am sure the prolifers join me in welcoming this.
And hopefully the trains still run on time.
I was going to write about the elementary school shooting, but I guess I’ve said enough sht for now.
This world, dude. I don’t know.
16/10 2026
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JANITOR
Thank you, Scrubs. I needed that.
16/10 2026
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Missing the sun and the goats. More of that please.

16/10 2026
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Happy to announce I’m the new press secretary for, oh nevermind I’m fired.
NEXT
16/10 2026
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I got some unplanned exercise today.
My mother was coming to pick somehing up. She called me and told me that the elevator in my builing wasn’t working. She can’t get up the stairs because of her mobility issues. So I had to go down 6 flights of stairs and then back up 6 flights of stairs. Fun!
Good thing it didn’t happen on Wednesday, I’m not sure I would have survived that.
But today it was fine, no problem. Thankfully my back wasn’t hurting too bad. When I got back up it was very stiff. Generally I feel like the pain level is just about back to where itw as before the ill advised exercises on Wednesday. But it’s more stiff and rigid. But at least not constant horrible pain.
My shoulder still hurts when I move it in certain ranges. Painkillers help a fair bit o my back pain, but they don’t seem to do anything at all for the shoulder. It’s not awful, but still, a constant reminder of pain and things always getting worse.
So, mentally not doing so great. Efforts to get back on the healthier track has failed so far. But I’ll keep trying. SleepEEG in just over a week.
Oh yeah, I got an actual letter in the mail today. Nothing important, but happy to get it. That seems to mean that all deliveries can go through succesfully despite the parking space being shut down. Grocery deliveries, food deliveries, package deliveries, letter deliveries, parents visiting. Seems to all be working, which is a relief. It’s annoying that I have to go across the road when I take the garbage down, but I can live with that. I worried so much about the accessibility of the building after the parking space and driveway was closed, so I’m happy that seems to have ended well.
Now what’s that penguin doing on the telly?
16/10 2026
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Got an hour fifteen on the bike today. So I got that going for me.
Good to get on again. Felt fine on the bike. My shoulder is a problem though. Part of my workout, as you may know, is manipulating my rod. The bendy steel rods. And that’s kind of impossible with the painy shoulder. So it’s impacting my workout, and that sucks. But at least I got biked.
And then I got on the floor. I was tempted to start trying to do some exercises for the back, but after the disaster last time I figured I’d better not. So I only did some very gentle stretching.
At least I’m doing something, that’s an important part of it. Getting into a rhythm. Instead of sitting and doing nothing but eating.
One day a day.
17/10 2026
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Are there laws against alteing Mount Rushmore?
I’m just.. just wondering. No particular reason. But it’s protected and stuff, right?
17/10 2026
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Do you ever wonder how hummingbirds pick what songs to hum? Do they mostly do classical stuff or do they pick up modern tunes too, like do they hear people listneing to their iPods and then start humming those songs? And do they have to pay royalties? Do they have problems with copyright infringement, I don’t know if humming is covered by that.
Anyway, let me know.
17/10 2026
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goatlog

18/10 2026
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It’s been a pretty cruddy day. I didn’t sleep well. Which ws a bummer because I thought I had discovered a good routine to get better sleep. And then testing it out I had a bad night and not only did I get up tired and groggy but also sad about the failure of the test.
So it’s been a tired and sad day. The pain, oh the pain, the pain. Lost innerspace. The pain isn’t super bad when I remained in the chair and don’t move my left arm too much. But it’s always. The depression and the pain and the tiredness. Weighing me down. So I have wasted the day and made unhealthy choices. Boo boos.
But tomorrow’s another week and surely I’ll do better, no doubt about it you can be sure.
I must get my goat times, I must get my exercise, I must eat better, I must gently stretch the back. And start to gather strength for the sleepEeg in a week. Let’s hope I can sleep for that. They can’t view your dreams, right? That could be awkward. I don’t want to have to explain why Kristen Bell is feeding me soup, while she’s IN the pot. Look, dreams are just ranom imagery, don’t read anything into it.
Alright. Hope next week brings you good tidings.
18/10 2026
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That’s all for today.


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Groovy

October 11th, 2026

Good goat times today. Lovely to be back in the goat place. with my best gals. Clears out a lot of the head junk to just sit around with goats.
The back isn’t doing great though. The walk felt harder than last week. Pain and stiff. But once I got to the playground it felt better. Maybe just because the goats made me not think about the pain.
Bella and Luna were knocking heads right from the get-go. And Sky bleating at them to knock it off. Or at least keep away from her.
Pretty grey day, but at least it stayed dry. Maybe a hint of sunshine coming through here and there. We had some sweet kids coming into the pen to say hi to the goats. Just a sweet goat day.
One negative though. We lost some logs. You know the little log-pile next to the bench. Only one log left, so I think four gone. I asked Jeanette if she had taken them. I thought maybe she had wanted to do something with them. But no, it wasn’t her. She told me that there had been people last night having an unauthorized fire. Because we have the at campfire site. I guess sometimes people (darn kids, Jeanette said) will sneak in and get a fire going. And they probably stole the logs to put them on the fire. So that sucks. Those logs were great for goat standing. And I don’t feel very comfortable with people coming in and starting fires on their own, seems like that could be potentially dangerous. Remember the houe that burnt down at the first playground. Yeah, humans are nothing but trouble. That’s why I’m a goat.
But now I will be an soup.
5/10 2026
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Please DO feed the goats say the goats.

5/10 2026
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My sweet SkyGirl.

5/10 2026
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Today’s attempt at a selfie with Bella and Luna.

5/10 2026
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Got my Luna hugs today too of course.

5/10 2026
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I got an email on the official Danish email system. The sender was my region, that’s where all the hospital stuff comes from. So I thought, oh that must be the results of the MRI scan! And I go to look. And it’s not. It was an invitation to participate in a study about how blueberries affect blood sugar and other things for diabetics.
Ooh kay then. I’m sure that’s a worthy cause, but i’m not really feeling up for being in medical studies right now. And also I want the results of my MRI scan already. Well, tomorrow it will be two weeks. So I should have something by tomorrow. Right? I bet I won’t! And I bet the results will show nothing useful. And I bet the sleep EEG won’t either. Maybe I’m blueberry deficient.
I am just feeling tired and hopeless, bleh bleh.
I do love blueberries. Although I like to call them blubberies.
But that’s neither here nor dear.
6/10 2026
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Think goat thoughts.

6/10 2026
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Today is Depression Screening Day and Taco Day.
I have plenty of one of those, and none of the other.
You do the math.
6/10 2026
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goatlog

7/10 2026
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Hello world. Not the best day today. I had planned to get up pretty early and get some exercise in.
That did not happen. Ended up sleeping some 12 hours ish. I’m not too mad about it. I have been sleeping so poorly and little. It wasn’t a great night’s sleep. But at least it was a fair bit of sleep. Felt good. But not how I had wanted to spend the time.
And then I got up and had a tech issue. I’ll spare you the details, but I had to spend like an hour in frustrating combat with that. So it’s been a lot of wasted time. And instead of being productive I’m just going to waste the rest of the day, sounds like a plan.
No reply back from the MRI scan. It’s been two weeks, so I should have gotten an answer. I suspect that the scan showed nothing of importance and that’s why I haven’t heard anything. But even if it shows nothing I’d still like to know that, you know? So I suppose I’ll have to try calling. Phones are closed now, and I’m not feeling at capacity for human interaction anyway. But I should try one of the next days.
Just feeling like a sad waste of space, everything is depression and worry and things going wrong. I haven’t mentioned it, but my eyesight has gotten worse too. Since the blackout. I don’t know if it’s due to something that happened when I was out, if it’s because of all the pain, all the painkillers, the even worse than normal sleep, something else. But there has been a noticeable reduction. Harder to read the computer screen for example. Hopefully it’s random temporary stuff. Maybe everything that’s going wrong will get better and things will be solved, yeah yeah you never know.
Just feeling very tired of everything. I would rather not face the days.
But here we are.
Think I’m going to cook me up a batch of noodles and mix it with coconut oil and ketchup. I haven’t had that in I don’t know how long, six months or more. I don’t care what you say, that’s a gourmet meal to me.
Need more goat time and exercise. Instead of whining on the internet.
Sorry about all this. What a drag. And not the fun kind.
7/10 2026
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Measles are back, the plague is back. Ebole is going strong. Pretty good time for virulent diseases, huh?
Don’t worry, though. We have our best reality TV doctors on the case.
Also, funny to see how many millions the AI companies are pumping right into Trump’s pockets. He used to talk sht about Musk and Zuck and all them, but now he loves them and they’re SUPER. Funny how that goes. I imagine you won’t even need to vote in the election, they’ll just have AI do it.
You’re right, thinking you would vote for Count Chocula was a mistake on my part. I’m sorry about that. Would you like me to list some other fictional characters that I voted for on your behalf?
Quoth the raven, this fkn sht.
7/10 2026
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Triple goat score. As Sky below so Bella above.

7/10 2026
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Good goat times today. Ahh, that’s more like it. Out of my head and into the goat place. That’s where I belong.
A dark and rainy morning. And it rained pretty much the whole time I was there. So not a lot of running around. But a lot of sitting and listening to the rain and scratching goat backs. That’s pretty good too. Sky staying in her Sky Pad under the podium for most of the time. She did came up to us for breakfast and stayed under the half roof for a while so I could sit with her like that. And periodically I’d go down to her little nest to give her some snacks and cuddles. While Bella and Luna occupied the big house.
We did get some visitors from the neighbouring school. They came in and said hi to the goats, but quickly got out of there again.
I do like a good goat rain day.
Got home and spent a lot of time on the floor. Doing stretches and exercises. My back was better today than earlier in the week. I do feel like there’s a little progress. I will probably wait until next week to make any decisions about calling the doctor or not.
But I’m making the decision right now to call the soup. HEY SOUP GET OVER HERE.
8/10 2026
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Peekaboo, I see Sky. Out of the rain.

8/10 2026
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Rain or shine, I need my Luna hugs.

8/10 2026
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Do we have a new feathery goat pal? Let’s hope! This little one spent a lot of time with us today. I have to admit I am not sure if it’s one of the new hens or not. But it would make sense. Since I came back, I have seen this one up with the goats several times. Today there was also a black (I think) hen up with us, but it didn’t stay too long. The one though, got all the ay into the goats’ bedroom and it was hanging around and digging the dirt for a long time. I tried throwing out some peanut crumbles for it. Not sure if it took any or not, but I was just trying to give it the idea that hanging with the goats means treats too. Would be nice if we had a new feather to hang out with the furs.
Funnily though Luna has not changed her mind on the feathers. She doesn’t want them to come too close. Every time it came near she would shake her head at it. Like she was trying to headbutt it, even though it wasn’t within reach. Just a “get away from me” gesture. And the clucker dutifully obliged and squawked a little away. And then continued digging in the dirt and coming closer again.
But it’s promising at least. Let’s hope it keeps coming up to the goats, gives everything a little extra life when there are feathers with the furs.

8/10 2026
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Streaming executions online. Makes perfect sense that this is where society is heading. All the pro-lifers can sit there with a bucket of popcorn and watch someone get murdered.
Is it going to be a .gov streamer or will it go on Disney+ or Hulu or something?
I smell another FIFA peace prize coming!
9/10 2026
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Bella and the Butt, my favourite morning radio DJs.

9/10 2026
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A look at the new feathers. I presume those two are new ones. Pretty sure the black one is new. The red one looks a lot like others we’ve had of course. Hard not to think of Red Sonja. She looks and acts like a Red Sonja 2.0. I hope she’ll keep coming up to the goats, and I hope she can get friendly with Sky. When Sky isn’t rained in under the podium.
9/10 2026
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Took a picture of homebase on my way home in the rain. My rain camera uses a weird colour mode and with my bad vision I honestly can’t tell if this looks dumb or artsy or normal or like complete dogturd. You decide! But do notice the bird, that was completely by accident. Didn’t know it was there until I came home and looked at the shots.

10/10 2026
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Got an hour ten on the bike today. So I got that going for me.
Good to get back to some exercise. It’s been tough. All this pain and depression makes me make bad choices. Eating unhealthily and skipping exercise. So I’m glad I got on it today. And then I spent an hour on the floor. Stretching and exercising the back. And I don’t know if that’s smart or not. When I was done I was hurting a lot. But hopefully that was just the immediate stress that caused it. It’s already feeling better. Hopefully the effort will lead to improvement? Or maybe I shouldn’t be putting so much strain on it. I don’t know. Being unhealthy and putting on weight and getting out of shape surely is just making the back pains worse. I know I should go to the doctor already. But. There has been so many doctor/hospital things. And there’s more coming. The sleep EEG is in like 3 weeks. And I guess next week I probably have to call the neuro dept and ask about the MRI results. And I’m just tired and sad about everything. I know going to do the doctor will just lead to me being sent to physical therapy and then there will be tons more to deal with there. And I know if that’s what I need then it’s better to get started on it as soon as possible. But I just. Everything’s just too much.
At least the stomach is ok. And if I take my painkillers then the back is mostly able to deal with.
Bla bla. I’m trying fasting today. Well, not completely. I took a double dose of protein powder. But I’m going to try not to eat anything else today. I have a tendency to eat and drink too much too late and I wonder how badly that might be effecting my sleep. So I’ll try not to eat tonight and see how that feels.
Unless I cave and order pizza, but i’m sure that’s not going to [end transmission]
10/10 2026
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Someone tell President Super Intelligence that Nobel Peace Prizes aren’t cheeseburgers, you can’t have 8 just because you want them.
10/10 2026
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Triple goat score.

10/10 2026
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Oh. Hey. The results of my MRI scan are up on the Danish health org site.
So. That’s interesting.
Ther are a LOT of words I don’t understand.
It ends with stating the plan going forward, which is: Telephonic contact to patient after EEG is done.
So. Nothing that needs immediate action. There are a lot of things that are stated as “not found” or similar. Bad things that weren’t found, which is good. As far as I can tell all the results of the actual brain scan were good things. It does say there are light artefacts on the scan, so the results are with reservations for that.
There are a couple of things that don’t sound like they’re good, but they’re hard for me to interpret. Running them through google translate they are:
“Accentuated surface furrows, especially biparietal”
Furrows on my head? The skull. I don’t know if that has any meaning.
And then there’s:
“nonspecific cystic change in the left parotid gland”
A fluid cyst? Looking at chatgpt (ai boo hiss, I know) it looks like something with the ear. Google says most likely benign. It’s hard to interpret it all though.
I know you shouldn’t use google and ai as a doctor. Seeing as they don’t feel they need to contact me until after the EEG, I’m going to assume that it’s all relatively harmless. At least not something I need to know about right now. So. I suppose it’s mostly good news. Except it probably doesn’t offer any answers to my blackouts. But I’ll have to wait until after the EEG to find out more. At least I don’t have to call ti ask about the MRI results!
So yeah. Probably a matter of no real news which isn’t neccesarily good news but I’ll find out more later. SleepyEEG is in 3 weeks.
I should have ordered pizza…
10/10 2026
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Okay. So I took Angeline’s advice from yesterday and asked chatgpt if it could give me a simpler version of the MRI results. And it seemed to work pretty well. Of course you can’t trust ai and you shouldn’t use it as a doctor and so on, so it’s not like I’m taking it as gospel. But it seemed to make good sense and aligned with my own interpretation of the medical text. So I feel that was helpful, until I get to talk to the doctors about it after the EEG.
Basically, the simplified version came to the conclusion that I also got from my own reading of the text. Which is that all the major brain scan things came back positive, meaning good. No tumors, no bleeding or scarring or signs of problems. Also, nothing that prove epilepsy. Although it doesn’t rule it out. But no problems in all those results.
But then there are the two things that could be problems, maybe.
There’s the ear thing. Chatgpt says:
“An incidental finding near the left ear: There is a small, nonspecific cyst-like change in the left parotid gland, a salivary gland located near the ear. The report does not say exactly what it is”
Google said it theoretically could be something to do with cancer, but sounds like it’s extremely likely benign. I don’t know if this is something they will want to look into or do something about, or if it’s just something that doesn’t matter.
Then there’s the ‘furrows’ thing. I wasn’t sure from the text whether it was something on top of my head, on the outside, or if it was on my skull or something. But according to chatgpt it’s on the brain itself:
“The grooves on the surface of the brain are more pronounced than usual, especially on both sides near the top: This can sometimes be related to age-related changes or reduced brain volume. The significance depends on your age and medical history”
Reduced brain volume? Great, I have brain shrinkage! That would explain why I say and do so many stupid things!
Well, the text and the chatgpt simplification doesn’t really clearly state if it is that, if it is significat. Even after I gave it my age it didn’t really conclude anything. So this is something I’ll have o talk to the doctors about I guess. From this information I don’t know if it’s anything that matters. Sounds like maybe it’s normal for the human brain to shrink a bit with age? But I’m fairly young, so I don’t know if this is abnormal. Chatgpt says:
“At 48, this is worth asking your neurologist about, but it does not automatically mean that you have brain shrinkage or that this is causing your blackouts.”
I wonder if it could explain my really bad memory. Could it be early sign of dementia or stuff like that? Because I have wondered…
But hopefully the doctors can tell me more after the sleepyEEG in 3 weeks.
The conclusion from chatgpt said:
“The reassuring news is that your MRI does not show an obvious structural cause for seizures.
However, a normal-looking MRI does not rule out epilepsy. Many people with epilepsy have a normal MRI because seizures can result from abnormal electrical activity that does not produce visible changes on a scan.”
So. When it comes to epilepsy it seems I am not really closer to an answer. And whether my groovy brain means anythnig, I’ll have to find out later.
11/10 2026
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In other news, i andre nyheder

11/10 2026
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A little Sky and Bella.

11/10 2026
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Well, it’s been a week. Another one.
An interesting end with the MRI results, even if they didn’t bring me any conclusion really. At least yet. But nice to get a look at them.
Other than that it has been a week of struggling to try to get back to a better place. Lots of pain and depression and tiredness. So that’s not great.
I will say, today was the first day since my blackout that I didn’t take painkillers in the morning. I DID take some later in the day. But it was the first morning in what, 3 weeks? That I didn’t feel the immediate need for painkillers. So that’s something. I know I have to be careful not to put too much strain on the back, but I do feel like the stretches and exercises are having some positive effect. I hope so anyway. I know I should call the doctor, but I won’t quite yet.
I need to make more effort with the exercise and eating better. All the pain and sadness is draining my motivation and making me do bad things. Carrying extra weight around doesn’ exactly help the back pain.
And it’s getting colder and darker and rainier, hooray.
At least the brain shrinkage explains why girls keep pointing and laughing when I take off my hat.
Tee hee.
Let’s hope next week brings success and good tidings. Fight to live another day.
One day a day.
11/10 2026
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That’s all for now.


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