March

March 1st, 2026

Good goat times today. Good to be back out with the goaties, after last week’ chaotic darkness. Back into the light.
The temperatures are rising. Just above freezing now. Some of the snow receeding, although there is still quite a bit. And now there’s a lot of water too. And ice. Lots of ice. Very slippery in places. I had a couple of near-falls, but managed to stay on my feet.
Honestly I prefer a complete snow cover to the water, ice and snow like this. But it is nice that it’s not absolutely freezing cold.
Tough day for Bella and Luna. They got their hooves did. They hate having their hooves trimmed. But it had to be done. Usually we are three persons doing it, but it was just Jeanette and I today. We got it done, but it took some work. And it was just a ‘light emergency’ treatment. It has been so long and it has gotten so bad that we had to do something about it. We’ll be doing a more thorough job in a month or so, when there’s more staff around to help.
We closed the door to the goat house so Bella and Luna couldn’t get out. When Sky had finished her breakfast outside, she was peeking in through the gap at the door. Bleating at us. Oh you don’t want to come in for this, girl. She had her turn not that long ago.
We did Bella first. The door inside the goat house seperating the straw pen and the entrance room broke a while ago and has been completely removed. So we couldn’t seperate Bella and Luna while we did. So I was holing on to Bella to keep her still while Jeanette did the trimming. And Luna stood and stared at me like she couldn’t figure out what was happening. Well, she found out soon enough when it was her turn. She struggled more than Bella, which was a little surprising since Bella is the more headstrog and dominant one, and doesn’t really like being held and handled as much as Luna. But she was pretty still for it, while Luna was more trying to break free.
Anyway, I was happy I could help with it. It’s nice to be able to do some good and help with stuff like that, not just sit around and have fun. I like to be a help if I can.
Lots of snacks and treats afterwards, so I think we were forgiven.
And now it’s soup o’clock around here.
23/2 2026

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Jeanette making good with the girls after the horrible ordeal of the hoof trimming.

23/2 2026

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Extra breakfast after the hoof trimming.

23/2 2026

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That’s the stuff. sweet Sky o mine.

23/2 2026

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il fait beau

23/2 2026

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I haven’t been feeling great today.
Today was supposed to be an exercise day. But I decided against it.
Woke up feeling kind of crummy with a big headache.
I think my throat would be hurting if I wasn’t using my mouth spray.
Headache still really bad.
Doesn’t help that a neighbour has been drilling.
Generally I feel like i’m hearing more and more noise from the neighbours.
Also feel like I’m smelling cigarette smoke soetimes, but I’m not sure how much is just my paranoid delusions.
The construction still goes on all day outside.
Not feeling super awful, but just kind of crummy. And that headache isn’t good.
So instead of exercise I have been working at the computer. Working on browser stuff. Got some good stuff done, happy with that. I have a ton of reorganising and cleaning up mess to do. And trying to get things as accessible as possible. I’ll be barfing hex colour codes soon.
I’ll try to get back on the bike tomorrow. And just plug along.
Hope you’re all doing alright. If you’re able to use your computer or phone without spending hours trying to make things useable for you, take a second to appreciate that. It must be nice to just be able to turn things on and not have to modify anything..
Firth World probbems!
24/2 2026

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Bella out in the icy wastes.

24/2 2026

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Got an hour forty on the bike today. Going at it.
Feeling better today, physically at least. So that’s good.
And Facebook is still operating with problems, so that’s nice.
The world in general? Eh, let’s not talk about that.
Give me some soup and some happy goats, and I’ll get by for a while.
The sun is always shining, sometimes you just can’t see it for the clouds.
hashtag Lasse’s deep throat, I mean thoughts.
25/2 2026

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Hey hey! Thank you SO much Keiko Murakami for the beautiful original art! Absolutely lovely pieces. I am so glad they made it to me! And I will make sure Helle gets her piece, I know she was really happy that you made that one of her. You spread joy with your art!

25/2 2026

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once more with resignation

25/2 2026

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Good goat times today. Back to happy funtime goat circus.
The weather is finally warming up. Comfortably above freezing. A lot of the snow is gone, although there are still some decent patches in the goat pen.
Unfortunately melting snow and rain has ushered us into the mud seasons. The goats would rather have a clean snow covering than all that mud. I tend to agree, but I don’t miss the freezing cold. Hopefully warm spring will come soon.
Lots of visitors today, the neighbour schoolers. Kids in the pen, petting the goats and asking questions. All very sweet. Jeanette lighting up the campfire, I think they were brewing hot cocoa.
With all the mud, the goats stay mostly near the house. I brought up the treetop that Jeanette rought recently, up to the house so they could nibble on it and duel the branches with their horns. Always fun.
Ima brew me some soup up now. Gaots and soup, that counts as a good day for me.
26/2 2026

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Bella and Luna working on the treetop. It has pretty much been stripped naked already, but they still like to nibble on it. It’s something to do! And with their attention on the treetop, Sky gets to have her box of hay in peace. I wish there was a way to tell Bella and Luna that they have a huge hayrack inside full of hay, there’s no reason for them to chase Sky away from her little box. But goats always want what the other goat is having. The grass is always greener on the neighbour’s lawn.

26/2 2026

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Mud season means the rock is going to get a lot more use. Anything to get even a little off the ground. Here Bella.

26/2 2026

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Stuck in the middle with goats.

26/2 2026

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“Notalgia washed over me”
Same, JD. Same.
Aw, Scrubs. I watched the episode of the revival. I loved it. A lot. I am not sure if it was good, or if it was just the nostalgia. Nostalgia is a powerful spice to me. Everything new sucks. The past is comforting. Well, the good parts.
Anyway. The original Scrubs was a special show to me, I watched it over and over, bought the seasons as soon as they came out on DVDs, which was a format that existed back then. I love all those character. I’m so glad Hooch is still crazy!
I am really sad that a particular character is only going to be recurring. He makes such a big difference, I want him to be in every episode.
I also very much miss Sam Lloyd. I hope they reference him at some point, I’m sure they must.
I also not that with my limited vision widescreen is a lot worse than 4:3. 4:3 is another reason that the past is better.
I am so glad they kept the Superman theme. I think it wasn’t in the trailer, because I remember thinking where’s the Superma bit?!
But I’m looking forward to watching more. Episode one gave me a huge nostalgia kick and a lot of feels.
*nostalgia five*

26/2 2026

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Bleating Sky, from before the snowmelt.

27/2 2026

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I dreamt that I was on Facebook and I got that video selfie block again.
A nightmare!
I’m so glad fb is still working. It just means a lot to me to have this social flux capacitor. Being able to talk and listen, virtually speaking. Posting sweet media on the goat page and seeing people loving the goat girls.
Social media can be a horrible thing. Many people use it for evil.
But for me it’s a source of good. And I appreciate having it. I appreciate you all! Well, most of you *side-eye*
28/2 2026

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Let’s have some more peace awards and peace councils, I can’t hardly believe all the peace I’m seeing.
28/2 2026

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Happy Xmas, was is over.

Oh sorry, after a quick fact check I have a couple of corrections.
28/2 2026

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Good morning. It’s March. That means it’s officially spring in Denmark. And it’s my birthday month. Pretty sure everything goes to be juuuust fine
of course I haven’t checked the news yet…
1/3 2026

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goatlog

1/3 2026

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Agh! Help! He’s strangling me!
Luna, the drama queen.

1/3 2026

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Been a while since I did a “what’s Lasse watching/reading/listening to”.
I had actually just started writing one when the big fb problems started, and it was left half done in a text file and is now out of date.
Anyway. This is just going to be me rambling about stuff, nothing of importance. Or as we call it in this establshment “The Usual”.
Things I have watched.
Three documentaries about artists. David Bowie, Mel Brooks, John Candy.
They were all pretty great. Quiet moving as you would expect. Three great ones.
The most recent I watched was the John Candy one. Back in the day I taped Planes, Trains And Automobiles from the telly, and that tape got a lot of use. It was a movie that touched me deeply. And Candy’s character, of course. Fat guy trying to mask a deep internal pain. Let’s just say I could relate.
But when I think of John Candy I most often think of Home Alone. His Polka character really made me laugh. Over the years I just randomly find mylsef going “polka polka.. polka” in my head in Candy’s rhythm. I love that bit.
Mel Brooks. Obviously a genius. Fascinating story. I don’t have as deep an emotional connection to him, I love a lot of his stuff.
And Bowie. Here’s what I got written in the before the fb shutdown:

I’m fascinated by Bowie. I know, I’m probably the only one. Haha. But I can’t help thinking about what he was like as a kid. Or anyone like him. David Lynch. These geniuses that create art that changes the world. If you were to go back and look at them as 10 year olds. In a group of kids. Would they stand out? Could you tell who would be the genius? Are we all geniuses? Are some people just born different and destined for greatness? Or is there something in all of us that could grow to such greatness under the right circumstances? And kind of the same question about evil people. The people who end up doing the most horrible things imaginable. Were they born like that? Or is there something like that in all of us that could come out under the wrong circumstances? Nature or nurture and all that. I find it fascinating.
But what do I know.
Watching the Bowie doc inspired me to get back to my Bowie musical journey. All the moving and depression and stuff kind of paused it. Last I left off was Black Tie White Noise. I actually quite like that one. From what I can tell it isn’t one of his best received albums. But I like it. There’s a sharp harshness to it that appeals to me. Jump They Say has stayed with me since I heard it the first time back in the day. Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on a ledge and there’s a crowd telling me to jump. Not that that’s a good feeling. But I love darkness and sadness, in art.
And now I have moved on to the next album. 1. Outside.
I have been looking forward to getting ot that one, because when that was released that was around the time I started becoming more aware of Bowie. When the youth programme Puls started and I finally started having a way to watch music videos. That was before I had MTV. And I clearly remember the video for The Hearts Filthy Lesson making a big impression on me. For decades there have been lines and riffs from that song running in my head. A dirty brutal song that I love.

So I won’t go on more about that. It’s nice to be listening to Bowie again.
Also listening to a couple of other things things I just got. The new Gorillaz release, The Mountain. I love Gorillaz. I love everything Damon Albarn does. And as a whitebred white bread Danish paleface, Gorillaz is just the right safe way to get me to listen to varius hip/hop and World Music artists that he collaberates with. Great stuff. I was going to write about my feelings on rap and hip-hop, but this is already getting way too long so I’ll do the opposite of And we don’t stop.
Also got Amiga Rocks Harder by Fastloaders. I backed that on Kickstarter. I also backed their previous two releases, C64 Rocks and Amiga Rocks. Properly composed rock versions of classic Commodore 64 and Amiga music. It forking rocks, yeah. Happy to back these projects and help them happen.
On the reading list, i finished Joe Hill’s King Sorrow. Liked it a lot. Parts of it I loved. As with a lot of his daddy King’s books, it started stronger than it ended. I feel like it could have been edited down a little. But still a good trip. If you like Stephen King and Joe Hill, then I don’t think it will let you down.
Then I moved on to Master Of Evil. It’s a Darth Vader book. I’m still a Star Wars kid. It was pretty good. Had some cool Vader vision scenes.
Then I moved on to another Star Wars book, a little middle grade book anthology of stories about Jedi and Sith. Nothing remarkable, but I’m liking it. I like Star Wars anthology books, little stories peeking around in the galaxy.
When I’m done with that I’m going to start the latest Dennis Jurgensen, because I must read all he writes.
And after that I’m planning to read The Shining. I am 99.9% sure I have read it before. But it must have been in Danish decades ago. And seeing as though i’m going through the old Stephen King chronology and reading stuff I have missed, I feel like rereading that in English.
What else? I have watched the two first episodes of the new Scrubs. I am still loving it. Still not sure if it’s really good or if it’s just my nostalgia addiction. But I feel like they have captured the spirit of the old series. I am happy to be watching these characters again.
Need to get back to Andor season 2, I kind of got halted midway through. Clearly that show was … prescient about our current world.
I think that’s all.
I have had an unhealthy weekend. I was supposed to exercise. Instead I ate a huge batch of cheese fries, and today cheese toast.
But on the upside, I no longer have that bag of fries in the freezer. I no longer have cheese in the fridge. I no longer have toast. And I scheduled a grocery delivery today and didn’t put any of the bad stuff in it. So I will be forced to eat healthier, at least for a while. I got a doctor’s appointment later in the month, I’ll try to make an effort to do better leading up to that. Haven’t measured my blood pressure in a while, but it was pretty bad last I checked and didn’t seem to be getting better even after getting back to exercising. So we’ll have to see how that all goes. At least the weather has warmed up.
Alright I’ll shut up now. You can take the cheese out of your ears again now.
1/3 2026

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Letting go of this week


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That’s all for now.


---

Selfiesh

February 22nd, 2026

Good goat times today. Another cold one, of course. Snow on the ground and a chilly wind. I got pretty frozen through. But it’s just good to get out with my goat pals and away from my mind. No thoughts, just fun.
We had a sweet visitor. A little boy, I think his name was Erik. I heard the adult with him talking to Jeanette and it sounded like Erik has some kind of disorder, he’s not going to get much bigger and he has vision problems and other issues, mentally development issues I think. I don’t know the right words. Anyway, he was running around making loud noises and clapping his hands. He got to pet the goats. Well, he got to pet Sky. Bella and Luna were a little disturbed by his loudness and movements. But Sky is a great petting goat, and I think Erik was excited to see goats up close.
And the goats got a nice tree top. I think Jeanette said someone had cut it down and they weren’t supposed to, I don’t think that was a good thing. But the goats got to munch on it, so they were happy about it. There’s not a lot of green around right now, but that bark was peeling good.
The forecast promises warmer days ahead. I love a good snowday with goats, but I’m ready for something warmer.
For now, a hot soup injection will have to do.
16/2 2026

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The goat girls with the illicitly cut down treetop.

16/2 2026

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Watch out, Sky, those aren’t raisins!

16/2 2026

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Fluffed up Bella. I need to learn how to grow woolly in winter.

16/2 2026

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I dreamt of wasps climbing into my nose.
So I have a feeling it’s going to a great day!
17/2 2026

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Got an hour fortyfive on the bike today. Working hard at it. Feels good to be back in the rhythm of it. The space heater pointed at me as I plug away, forgetting the freezer outside. And it’s good to have something to work on
No wasps either, so that’s good too.
17/2 2026

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I’m so glad Last Week Tonight is back. There are few shows on TV that can leave me with tears in my eyes from laughing, and also tears in my eyes because the reality they show is so fkn grim and appalling.
I love John Oliver, the writing is fantastic, and America is fked. Prove me wrong, America. Prove me wrong.
Still amazing how half of America is happy supporting a literal dog and goat murderer. And also the human murdering.
Alright. I’ll try not to fall into the spiral of political bullshirt again.
17/2 2026

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Oh hello.
Can you see me?
Now you see me, before you may don’t.
I thought I had lost my account. Still not sure I haven’t.
But it seems I’m back.
TLDR in comments. I’m going to ramble, you know.
I had left my facebook window open and went to do some stuff. Came back to a message that said I had to prove I was a real person. With a video selfie.
It wanted me to connect on webcam. As some of you may know, I do not have a smartphon. Nor a webcam.
So I was kind of stuck.
I had a nice long chat with a support agent (after waiting for the message that “we’re busy, you can try again in an hour”) who repeatedly told me what essentially boiled down to “I can’t actually DO anything, I know it’s frustrating but you should follow the guidelines to complete the process”.
Well, the idea occured to me that maybe you can hook up a Canon DSLR and use it as a webcam?
I googled around and found out that some of them might work as webcams.
So I download the webcam software and hook up my Canon. And it doesn’t work. But then I look at the Canon softare site and look at the supported cameras. And it turns out I had one of the support models. Probably none of you remember that I once years ago bought a newer model of the camera I love to use, and then I immediately wrecked it by clogging up the microphone on it whe trying to put a windshield on it. Anyway, luckily I kept that camera. It can still film, just without audio.
SO. I dig through all my old camera supplies and fid it. Battery long dead of course. So I put that in the recharger, while trying some other old cameras. None of those worked as webcam.
Once the battery had charged enough to use the newer model I plugged it into my pc. And I loaded up the webcam software. And I got a picture! It worked as a webcam!
So I go back to Facebook. Start the process. And nothing. The webcam window on fb stays blank.
I decided to try on another browser. Which meant logging in. Which meant I had to complete two factor authentication. “We have sent a code to your WhatsApp account”. I DON’T HAVE A WHATSAPP ACCOUNT. Luckily I had my dumbphone connected to my fb, so I asked to have a code sent to that. No code arrives. I ask to resend code. This time it actually gets here.
Okay, maybe I’ll cut this short. I have already one on too log. After a lot of messing around and trying thing and politely uttering my opinions about the universe, I got it to work. Saw my own face in the webcam window on fb. And then I did the process. Turned my face left up and right, so they can add me to their facial recognition database and sell me to ai. Or whatever.
And then it says “okay we’ll check it out, you’ll hear back from us within 48 hours. And if wecide your account doesn’t live up to our rules and guidelines it will be permanently disabled with no possibility of appeal”.
Great.
Well, now as it approaches midnight and I’m starting to head to bed, I check. And Facebook loads. So. I guess I passed the test?
I’m not sure my account won’t disappear again.
I don’t know what triggered this. Was it my post about.. a topical tv show?
I guess I will have to keep things PG now. No .. topical world affairs. No jokes about.. bad things.
Just life and goats, or whatever.
I tell you. I know it will sound silly to you normies. But being cut off from fb, I felt like I was cut off from the world. My social life was down the toilet. I don’t really do social life in real life. I felt completely isolated. Thankfully the whole thing only lasted.. 5ish hours? But the thought of not being able to come back on here? To not being able to see what you’re all doing, to not have you talk to me. That hurt me, deeply. That was scary to me. That was like.. well what’s the point of me then? If I can’t post goat photos and vids, do I even bring my camera? If I can’t talk to people might I not as well just disappear?
Yeah, it was a dark few hours for me. I don’t know what I would do without you all. I know I suck at friendshipping, but you all really mean a lot to me. The world to me. You kind of are my world. Or at least a very lare part of it.
Okay. I am relieved. But I’ll be scared to open up the browser tomorrow. What if’s gone again…
Sorry for the rample. Had to get it off my chest. I’m really glad I had that camera, and that I managed to get it to work, and that the result was acceptable. Sheesh.
Alright. I should post something on the goat page, and then get to bed.
Hope to see you all tomorrow!
17/2 2026

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Oh hello. I’m still here? That’s nice.
Sorry if I had a little meltdown yesterday. But it was not fun, suddenly finding myself completely disconnected from almost my entire social network. I felt alone in the universe, and as you may know I am prone to dark thoughts. I thought there was no reason to be around anymore.
But here I am. Hooves crossed that we crossed that bump in the road.
I hope everything is going smoothly on your end. Thank you for being in my life. Truly, I felt how much it matters.
18/2 2026

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Things aren’t going great. I feel there’s a big chance I will lose this account. Decades of history. So many memories. Goats and peoople passed on. Close friends. People who have saved my life. Sigh.
Don’t even know if I’ll be able to post this. But I’ll try.
Got up this morning, happy to see my account was still active. Five minutes later I got hit with the “make a video selfie to confirm you’re real” thing again. So I went through all that again. It was a lot easier now that I know how to hook up the camera to work as a webcam. But still a bothersome process. Not easy. Following instructions to turn my head is not easy with the blindness, I can’t both look at instructions and look at the camera at the same time.
But I did complete it. And then the one hour wait, biting nails to see if I passed again.
I did.
Then two minutes later I got hit with it again. Fooork.
I don’t know why my account is triggerig this, again and again?
Now I’m scared of going on fb for more than 30 seconds, in case it happens again. Sooner or later they won’t let me pass…
So, I’m writing this in a text editor. And I’m going to pop in on fb and post it and leave and not come back until some time tomorrow. Hoping that the post will stay up and my account stay alive, so people can see this. And I guess I’ll see what happens. I can’t really use fb if it does this every 2 minutes. And if I keep triggering it sooner or later they’ll disable me completely I’m sure.
I don’t really know what to do.
I’m in a dark space. Feeling very defeated. Torn away from my social circles. It is hard on me mentally.
I have Helle’s phone and email, and as always thanks go out to her. She reached out to me. so I have some contact with her through that. And Jen is on bluesky, she created Mia’s page originally and is still owner there, so at least the page stays up even when my personal profile goes down.
Anyway. If you are on bluesky, please add me.
bsky(.)app/profile/djaliplume.bsky.social
There is also the youtube channel with goat videos. Currently I’m just posting the long goatlogs on there, but if I lose my fb, maybe I’ll start posting the short vids on yt instead?
youtube(.)com/@djaliplume
There’s also my blog, which is currently just an fb archive, but maybe I’ll start writing daily in there again? Although no one is reading that anymore. I wonder if I can remember the login to my diaryland and livejournal…
plume(.)dk/blog
Maybe I’ll try making an instagram for goat posts? But instagram is part of fb so I don’t know if that would even work.
I don’t know.
I just want to give up on everything. What is the point.
Sigh.
Hope you’re all doing okay. I really miss just feeling the life of the timeline, all the lovely people. Lovely people and animals.
Well, I will try to post this and immediately leave. Hopefully the post will stay up. And then I’ll come back tomorrow and see if I can actually use the site.
If you choose to comment on this, please use appropriate language and don’t anger the overseers.
Love you all. Cross your hooves for me.
18/2 2026

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I just want things to be okay.

19/2 2026

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Okay. So. It seems like I am indeed fkked.
For a day I went and only spent 30 seconds on fb at a time, and there was no problem.
And then I try to be on for a few minutes, and I leave a comment (on my own post) and immediately I get hit with the “provide a video selfie to prove you’re human” thing.
There is something on my computer that must be triggering fb to think I’m compromised or a bot or something.
I’m going to keep trying to solve this. But I honestly don’t think there’s any chance. I think I’m more or less done on Facebook.
I wonder if it only triggers if I comment. I wonder if I’ll get hit by it if I only read my timeline. At least then I could still follow everyone. Just not interact.
I don’t know.
I suppose I can still post. Today I was able to first post the pic of me and Sky on my own profile. And then a little later I posted a video on the goat page. And that was fine, as long as I closed the window immediately after posting.
I’m writing this in a text editor and I’ll post it and close the window. Should work.
But is there a point in posting if I can’t interact with people?
Is there a point to life if I am going to lose all my social contact?
Is the sky still blue if you’re blind?
All these questions, and more…
I don’t know. I seem to able to pass the selfie test pretty easily, now that I got the webcam stuff figured out. But it takes an hour every time (and it says it could take up to 48 hours). I can’t really wait an hour between every comment I leave.
And I still thing if I keep triggering this then sooner or later they will completely disable my account.
I will try to chat to support again. But just like last time it says “We’re busy, you can try again in an hour”. Seems like that’s a standard thing. Probably to discourage people from actually contacting support. And the last support agent made it pretty clear that they don’t actually have the power to do anything about my account, I have to go through the process. I wonder if it will make a difference that I now get the selfie thing over and over. It’s like a loop. I don’t think they can do anything at all. Support staff without power to actually do anything, just tell you advice like “do what it says”. okay then.
My best guess is that it might be something about my accessibility settings. I don’t look like the average user because my browser does special things so I can actually use the site. I have tried turning things off to see if it makes a difference, but it hasn’t worked so far. I’m worried my account is marked now so no matter what I do there’s no way out.
I don’t know.
Things to try:
chat to support.
Try on Chrome brower, maybe that’s more ‘compatible’ than Firefox.
Get my Windows updated. Because of the End Of Support of Windows 10 I have not updated in months. Which I know is a bad thing, but I’m pretty security savvy so I feel safe enough doing it. But running and out of date Windows may mark me as unsafe to fb. So I will try to look at that.
Make an instagram connected to my fb. I don’t know if that would make a difference. There’s some kind of Meta Verified that you can pay 15 bucks a month for. And look, if that would solve the problem I would actually do it, even though paying fb goes against all my beliefs. But my social life is important to me, I have none in real life. I’m just worried I’ll sign up for a pay service and still be locked out and not even be able to cancel it.
Change my password.
Anything else?
I don’t know. I just want to lay down and not get up again.
Sigh. This isn’t good for my mental health.
I’ll try to post this and get out. Check back in later on Chrome, see how that goes.
I miss you all.
19/2 2026

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Hello everyone.
At the time of writing my account is currently [up].
I keep going on fb for 30 seconds and then closing the window, scared of that video selfie lock coming up again.
Thank you for the comments on the last post. I was able to read them. I am scared to react or reply to them, though.
But I will try some different things today. I expect my profile to disappear again. And then I’ll try to get it back via the video selfie.
This is just extremely stresful. It has really hammered home how isolated I am when I don’t have access to my social media friendships. Being practically blind and suffering from massive social anxiety is not great, especially when the tools you use to get by suddenly turn against you. Rise of the machines. I would not be surprised if this is connected to ai in some way. Some ai security check that thinks I’m not human because I don’t conform to regular standards.
Anyway, I will try to post this and hopefully it will go through and stay up as much as possible.
I hope I can find a solution to this. I just want to lay down and not get up.
Love you, miss you.
20/2 2026

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UPDATE:
Got blocked again.
I was able to read on fb. Post on Mia’s page. Post on my page. Send some messages on Messenger. Every time closing the window immediately after doing stuff.
The moment I replied to a comment on my last post, BAM. Locked and having to do video selfie.
This time however I got a message popup when my account was unlocked again. I haven’t gotten that the previous times. Maybe this is because I’m now using an installed version of Firefox instead of a portable install? Maybe it will all work now? Haha, I don’t dare hope.
I still have other things to try. But maybe I’ll just have to settle for posting and reading timeline and not interacting with commentS? I mean, that would be better than nothing. At least I would be able to see what you all are doing. And I would be able to post and share my life and read your comments. Just not talk in comments.
Maybe that’s what I’ll have to end up doing. Assuming I don’t get permanently banned.
Also, if I can actually use Messenger without getting locked, maybe I could start a group chat and invite some of the people that might want to interact with me? I have such a hard time even thinking anyone would ever want to talk to me, so the whole idea just seems preposterous. But a group chat where you can tell me “hey that goat picture is cute” and I can say “Good luck on that exam for the astronaut program you posted about”. Well, maybe it’s something.
Thoughts? I can probably read your comments, just not reply. Try sending me a pm if there’s something important you need to tell me.
I am going to spend more time today trying stuff, hoping to find a solution.
I don’t know why me replying to comments triggers this thing.
And what happens if I fail the selfie at some point.
Oh well. Back to work on trying to solve it. Thanks for all you have all done for me, I appreciate you.
19/2 2026

.
This is not a pretty picture.
But it is me.
I prefer how I look when I’m wearing a hat and glasses and with goats a real smile.
But the truth is not always pretty.
I am a human, though. In case any systems were wondering.

20/2 2026

.
Okay. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up. It’s the hope that kicks you.
But I have now been able to react and reply to comments, scroll around, comment and like and do stuff.
Is it fixed?
I’m waiting for it to shortcircuit and kick me in the berries again.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it was fixed?
Wouldn’t it though?
What I tried today was switching from a portable install of Firefox to a system installed Firefox.
I know to most of you, or maybe all of you, that is just gibberish. But basically I’m now using Firefox installed on the computer.
And it did make a difference. The past times when I completed the video selfie check, it didn’t tell me that I passed. It just suddenly started working again. Instead of loading the “You submitted an appeal, please wait for the result” page, it just loaded Facebook page as normal. No message about the result of the appeal.
This time, the first time on the properly installed Firefox, I got a popup message saying something about “you passed and we’re sorry you couldn’t use Facebook while it was going on”. So that was new.
Maybe the past times on the portable Firefox it didn’t.. register that I passed? I don’t understand it, because Facebook did start working properly again. But maybe there was some part of the system that wasn’t notified that I had passed? And that caused it to go back into the selfie loop every time?
I don’t know. It’s just speculation.
But it has been working normally now since I passed the last selfie test on this installed Firefox.
Is it going to keep working? For how long? What even is anything.
For now… I guess my hopes are up.
Thank you everyone for all the comments. The supportive ones and the suggestions and everything. It has been a real tough time mentally for me. I hope I’m through.
I know I’m such a baby, there are so many people all over the world with so much bigger problems, haha. Here I am crying over spilled Facebook. But we all live our own lives, and have our own feelings. I am broken in many places, I’m just trying to keep things from falling apart.
Anyway. Let’s hope, and hope it doesn’t come back to bite us in the berry disposal unit.
I guess we’ll find out if I jinxed it.
20/2 2026

.
Okay. I am heading to bed now. Fb has worked properly for me ever since I switched to the installed Firefox earlier today.
So I hope.
That things are okay now.
And I can start finding my way back to some kind of normal.
It has been some bad days for me this week, but thank you to everyone who has cared and supported and suggested. It feels good to hear the (virtual) chatter around me again. It makes me feel less alone. And it warms my heart that there are people who actually want me around. For much of my life I never had that feeling. I still have to pinch myself a little to believe there are people who may like me.
Hey, I didn’t say YOU could pinch me!
Hopefully things will continue to go okay now. That fear of seeing the Video Selfie prompt popup is still sitting in me every time I scroll on the timeline. Hopefully it will go away. Hope.
Thank you everyone again. Also for all the nice comments on my new profile picture. It is not easy for me to show myself unfiltered and unobstructed. Self-loathing still runs deep in me. But you are all a healing force in my life.
Hope you’re all doing well. IOU good karma.
See you tomorrow, if all goes well.
20/2 2026

.
I am still here. It would seem. Looks like all parts are still attached.
What a relief. Of course it will be a long time before I will be able to stop worrying about it happening again.
But worrying about it happening is better than it happening.
I hope I am all good now.
I have a lot of stuff to go through, things I have missed. And things I need to fix. I did a lot of testing and changing and messing around to fix the problem. Now I need to try to get everything back to normal. I also have an annoying audio issue with fb. But. The fact that I can on here and see you all and be seen, that is what matters most.
I also got an hour forty on the bike today. So that’s good. I have to get back on track with that. I was doing so well, I was exercising and dieting and losing weight and feeling motivated. Then the Facebook problem hit and I immediately got stressed and depressed and just wanted to eat everything. I cope with sadness by stuffing things in my mouth. And not the fun kind.
But hopefully I can get back at it. It’s going pretty well. Just gotta keep going.
Also got a Pepsi & Protein delivery today, and despite my depression when I put in the order, I managed to avoid adding a lot of unhealthy junk to the shopping cart. Better to have clementines and bananas and apples for treats than doughnuts and.. doughnuts.
Thank you again to everyone who was supportive with suggestions and encouragements, with messages, and the couple of who found me on bluesky. Bluesky was my social outlet while this was going on, and that helped a good bit too.
Onwards and upwards, hopefully. I still have lots of stuff to deal with. But doing it while having my friends with me is a lot easier. I really am fortunate to have met so many wonderful people online. First in the old journalling and sp days and then through the goat page. For someone who is extremely challened at social things in real life, having social media is really important.
Alright, I’ll shut up. Gotta get food in me and get started on trying to clean up some of the mess.
21/2 2026

.
Good morning. It seems I am sitll here. That is always a good way to start the day.
I did wake up with a sore throat though. Hopefully I’m not coming down with anything, I feel fine other than that. And some mouth spray has helped the throat too it seems. So I’m probably fine. Good thing I’m not a worrier!
Lots of computer stuff to deal with today, clean up all the messes, get goat media for the week finished up, audio bug experiments. The nonstop action and high stakes life of a scruffy goat herder.
Have a nice day, everybuddies.
22/2 2026

.
snowlog

22/2 2026

.
Got an email from my ISP with the title “Today is the last day of your internet subscription”
And I was like WHAT THE WHAT NOW?!
And then I open the mail and see that they are talking about my emergency mobile broad subscription. You know, the one I got when I moved into this apartment because they couldn’t get the real connection set up right away.
I didn’t even realise my emergency sub was still running. The proper one was set up in December and has been working without problems.
So this is fine. They will probably want me to return the mobile broadband router, though. So I’ll have to deal with that. But I’m sure I can figure that out.
It was just a little heartstopper for a second. “Oh hello, your internet stops today”. That’s not how you want to open a conversation. Haha.
22/2 2026

.
This is how I prefer to see myself. Covered up, behind cloth and tinted glasses. With a genuine smile and with a goat by my side to take the attention.

22/2 2026

.
Hey hey, thank you so much to Sam and Debbie Bailey and the goaties, for the lovely card! Turns out it wasn’t so bad that you sent it late, otherwise I might not have gotten it! But it’s nice to be able to get mail again theoretically. Merry Holidays!

22/2 2026

.
The week is winding down. It’s been.. quite a week.
Well, you all know what happened. I thought I’d lost all my social life and 99% of my friends I felt like everything was over and I was plunged into deep darkness and
well, now it’s probably okay. At least, back to starting positions. It’s not like I don’t have a bunch of problems still. But at least I have my support system and outlet and friend circle back.
So that’s good. I hope it keeps going ok.
Spent a ton of time today on computer stuff. Most of it well spent. Think I fixed my annoying audio issue, got a lot of stuff cleaned and set up to continue using fb in a new browser. And I won’t bore you with more details, he said too late.
The forecast says warmer weather next week. We should be out of the freezing. We’ll probably be getting rain though. Not exactly Spring yet. But we’ll get there.
I still have a bunch of computer stuff and other stuff to deal with. And I need to get my diet back under control. Why are biscuits and butter so tasty? Maybe I should try some wafer thin mints.
Thank you for being in my life everybody. I am thankful you are. I am humbled and surprised (though I shouldn’t be) and appreciative of all the kindness and support. I can never feel like I deserve it, but I do very much appreciate it. Through the selfie ordeal and also very much on the new profile which was not easy to post and I do not like to look at, but I am so thankful for all the kindness you showed.
Alright. Time to sleep. I miss sleeping for 14-15 hours straight, it’s tempting to go back to that sleep rhythm. But I know it’s not good for me. Just like the buttered biscuits. It’s so tempting to give up on everything, not stop working to get better. Like hands trying to drag me down into the depths, but thankfully there are also your hands dragging me back into the light.
Shine on, you crazy berry diamonds.
22/2 2026

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.

That’s all for now.


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