Selfiesh
February 22nd, 2026Good goat times today. Another cold one, of course. Snow on the ground and a chilly wind. I got pretty frozen through. But it’s just good to get out with my goat pals and away from my mind. No thoughts, just fun.
We had a sweet visitor. A little boy, I think his name was Erik. I heard the adult with him talking to Jeanette and it sounded like Erik has some kind of disorder, he’s not going to get much bigger and he has vision problems and other issues, mentally development issues I think. I don’t know the right words. Anyway, he was running around making loud noises and clapping his hands. He got to pet the goats. Well, he got to pet Sky. Bella and Luna were a little disturbed by his loudness and movements. But Sky is a great petting goat, and I think Erik was excited to see goats up close.
And the goats got a nice tree top. I think Jeanette said someone had cut it down and they weren’t supposed to, I don’t think that was a good thing. But the goats got to munch on it, so they were happy about it. There’s not a lot of green around right now, but that bark was peeling good.
The forecast promises warmer days ahead. I love a good snowday with goats, but I’m ready for something warmer.
For now, a hot soup injection will have to do.
16/2 2026
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The goat girls with the illicitly cut down treetop.
16/2 2026
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Watch out, Sky, those aren’t raisins!
16/2 2026
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Fluffed up Bella. I need to learn how to grow woolly in winter.
16/2 2026
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I dreamt of wasps climbing into my nose.
So I have a feeling it’s going to a great day!
17/2 2026
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Got an hour fortyfive on the bike today. Working hard at it. Feels good to be back in the rhythm of it. The space heater pointed at me as I plug away, forgetting the freezer outside. And it’s good to have something to work on
No wasps either, so that’s good too.
17/2 2026
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I’m so glad Last Week Tonight is back. There are few shows on TV that can leave me with tears in my eyes from laughing, and also tears in my eyes because the reality they show is so fkn grim and appalling.
I love John Oliver, the writing is fantastic, and America is fked. Prove me wrong, America. Prove me wrong.
Still amazing how half of America is happy supporting a literal dog and goat murderer. And also the human murdering.
Alright. I’ll try not to fall into the spiral of political bullshirt again.
17/2 2026
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Oh hello.
Can you see me?
Now you see me, before you may don’t.
I thought I had lost my account. Still not sure I haven’t.
But it seems I’m back.
TLDR in comments. I’m going to ramble, you know.
I had left my facebook window open and went to do some stuff. Came back to a message that said I had to prove I was a real person. With a video selfie.
It wanted me to connect on webcam. As some of you may know, I do not have a smartphon. Nor a webcam.
So I was kind of stuck.
I had a nice long chat with a support agent (after waiting for the message that “we’re busy, you can try again in an hour”) who repeatedly told me what essentially boiled down to “I can’t actually DO anything, I know it’s frustrating but you should follow the guidelines to complete the process”.
Well, the idea occured to me that maybe you can hook up a Canon DSLR and use it as a webcam?
I googled around and found out that some of them might work as webcams.
So I download the webcam software and hook up my Canon. And it doesn’t work. But then I look at the Canon softare site and look at the supported cameras. And it turns out I had one of the support models. Probably none of you remember that I once years ago bought a newer model of the camera I love to use, and then I immediately wrecked it by clogging up the microphone on it whe trying to put a windshield on it. Anyway, luckily I kept that camera. It can still film, just without audio.
SO. I dig through all my old camera supplies and fid it. Battery long dead of course. So I put that in the recharger, while trying some other old cameras. None of those worked as webcam.
Once the battery had charged enough to use the newer model I plugged it into my pc. And I loaded up the webcam software. And I got a picture! It worked as a webcam!
So I go back to Facebook. Start the process. And nothing. The webcam window on fb stays blank.
I decided to try on another browser. Which meant logging in. Which meant I had to complete two factor authentication. “We have sent a code to your WhatsApp account”. I DON’T HAVE A WHATSAPP ACCOUNT. Luckily I had my dumbphone connected to my fb, so I asked to have a code sent to that. No code arrives. I ask to resend code. This time it actually gets here.
Okay, maybe I’ll cut this short. I have already one on too log. After a lot of messing around and trying thing and politely uttering my opinions about the universe, I got it to work. Saw my own face in the webcam window on fb. And then I did the process. Turned my face left up and right, so they can add me to their facial recognition database and sell me to ai. Or whatever.
And then it says “okay we’ll check it out, you’ll hear back from us within 48 hours. And if wecide your account doesn’t live up to our rules and guidelines it will be permanently disabled with no possibility of appeal”.
Great.
Well, now as it approaches midnight and I’m starting to head to bed, I check. And Facebook loads. So. I guess I passed the test?
I’m not sure my account won’t disappear again.
I don’t know what triggered this. Was it my post about.. a topical tv show?
I guess I will have to keep things PG now. No .. topical world affairs. No jokes about.. bad things.
Just life and goats, or whatever.
I tell you. I know it will sound silly to you normies. But being cut off from fb, I felt like I was cut off from the world. My social life was down the toilet. I don’t really do social life in real life. I felt completely isolated. Thankfully the whole thing only lasted.. 5ish hours? But the thought of not being able to come back on here? To not being able to see what you’re all doing, to not have you talk to me. That hurt me, deeply. That was scary to me. That was like.. well what’s the point of me then? If I can’t post goat photos and vids, do I even bring my camera? If I can’t talk to people might I not as well just disappear?
Yeah, it was a dark few hours for me. I don’t know what I would do without you all. I know I suck at friendshipping, but you all really mean a lot to me. The world to me. You kind of are my world. Or at least a very lare part of it.
Okay. I am relieved. But I’ll be scared to open up the browser tomorrow. What if’s gone again…
Sorry for the rample. Had to get it off my chest. I’m really glad I had that camera, and that I managed to get it to work, and that the result was acceptable. Sheesh.
Alright. I should post something on the goat page, and then get to bed.
Hope to see you all tomorrow!
17/2 2026
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Oh hello. I’m still here? That’s nice.
Sorry if I had a little meltdown yesterday. But it was not fun, suddenly finding myself completely disconnected from almost my entire social network. I felt alone in the universe, and as you may know I am prone to dark thoughts. I thought there was no reason to be around anymore.
But here I am. Hooves crossed that we crossed that bump in the road.
I hope everything is going smoothly on your end. Thank you for being in my life. Truly, I felt how much it matters.
18/2 2026
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Things aren’t going great. I feel there’s a big chance I will lose this account. Decades of history. So many memories. Goats and peoople passed on. Close friends. People who have saved my life. Sigh.
Don’t even know if I’ll be able to post this. But I’ll try.
Got up this morning, happy to see my account was still active. Five minutes later I got hit with the “make a video selfie to confirm you’re real” thing again. So I went through all that again. It was a lot easier now that I know how to hook up the camera to work as a webcam. But still a bothersome process. Not easy. Following instructions to turn my head is not easy with the blindness, I can’t both look at instructions and look at the camera at the same time.
But I did complete it. And then the one hour wait, biting nails to see if I passed again.
I did.
Then two minutes later I got hit with it again. Fooork.
I don’t know why my account is triggerig this, again and again?
Now I’m scared of going on fb for more than 30 seconds, in case it happens again. Sooner or later they won’t let me pass…
So, I’m writing this in a text editor. And I’m going to pop in on fb and post it and leave and not come back until some time tomorrow. Hoping that the post will stay up and my account stay alive, so people can see this. And I guess I’ll see what happens. I can’t really use fb if it does this every 2 minutes. And if I keep triggering it sooner or later they’ll disable me completely I’m sure.
I don’t really know what to do.
I’m in a dark space. Feeling very defeated. Torn away from my social circles. It is hard on me mentally.
I have Helle’s phone and email, and as always thanks go out to her. She reached out to me. so I have some contact with her through that. And Jen is on bluesky, she created Mia’s page originally and is still owner there, so at least the page stays up even when my personal profile goes down.
Anyway. If you are on bluesky, please add me.
bsky(.)app/profile/djaliplume.bsky.social
There is also the youtube channel with goat videos. Currently I’m just posting the long goatlogs on there, but if I lose my fb, maybe I’ll start posting the short vids on yt instead?
youtube(.)com/@djaliplume
There’s also my blog, which is currently just an fb archive, but maybe I’ll start writing daily in there again? Although no one is reading that anymore. I wonder if I can remember the login to my diaryland and livejournal…
plume(.)dk/blog
Maybe I’ll try making an instagram for goat posts? But instagram is part of fb so I don’t know if that would even work.
I don’t know.
I just want to give up on everything. What is the point.
Sigh.
Hope you’re all doing okay. I really miss just feeling the life of the timeline, all the lovely people. Lovely people and animals.
Well, I will try to post this and immediately leave. Hopefully the post will stay up. And then I’ll come back tomorrow and see if I can actually use the site.
If you choose to comment on this, please use appropriate language and don’t anger the overseers.
Love you all. Cross your hooves for me.
18/2 2026
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I just want things to be okay.
19/2 2026
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Okay. So. It seems like I am indeed fkked.
For a day I went and only spent 30 seconds on fb at a time, and there was no problem.
And then I try to be on for a few minutes, and I leave a comment (on my own post) and immediately I get hit with the “provide a video selfie to prove you’re human” thing.
There is something on my computer that must be triggering fb to think I’m compromised or a bot or something.
I’m going to keep trying to solve this. But I honestly don’t think there’s any chance. I think I’m more or less done on Facebook.
I wonder if it only triggers if I comment. I wonder if I’ll get hit by it if I only read my timeline. At least then I could still follow everyone. Just not interact.
I don’t know.
I suppose I can still post. Today I was able to first post the pic of me and Sky on my own profile. And then a little later I posted a video on the goat page. And that was fine, as long as I closed the window immediately after posting.
I’m writing this in a text editor and I’ll post it and close the window. Should work.
But is there a point in posting if I can’t interact with people?
Is there a point to life if I am going to lose all my social contact?
Is the sky still blue if you’re blind?
All these questions, and more…
I don’t know. I seem to able to pass the selfie test pretty easily, now that I got the webcam stuff figured out. But it takes an hour every time (and it says it could take up to 48 hours). I can’t really wait an hour between every comment I leave.
And I still thing if I keep triggering this then sooner or later they will completely disable my account.
I will try to chat to support again. But just like last time it says “We’re busy, you can try again in an hour”. Seems like that’s a standard thing. Probably to discourage people from actually contacting support. And the last support agent made it pretty clear that they don’t actually have the power to do anything about my account, I have to go through the process. I wonder if it will make a difference that I now get the selfie thing over and over. It’s like a loop. I don’t think they can do anything at all. Support staff without power to actually do anything, just tell you advice like “do what it says”. okay then.
My best guess is that it might be something about my accessibility settings. I don’t look like the average user because my browser does special things so I can actually use the site. I have tried turning things off to see if it makes a difference, but it hasn’t worked so far. I’m worried my account is marked now so no matter what I do there’s no way out.
I don’t know.
Things to try:
chat to support.
Try on Chrome brower, maybe that’s more ‘compatible’ than Firefox.
Get my Windows updated. Because of the End Of Support of Windows 10 I have not updated in months. Which I know is a bad thing, but I’m pretty security savvy so I feel safe enough doing it. But running and out of date Windows may mark me as unsafe to fb. So I will try to look at that.
Make an instagram connected to my fb. I don’t know if that would make a difference. There’s some kind of Meta Verified that you can pay 15 bucks a month for. And look, if that would solve the problem I would actually do it, even though paying fb goes against all my beliefs. But my social life is important to me, I have none in real life. I’m just worried I’ll sign up for a pay service and still be locked out and not even be able to cancel it.
Change my password.
Anything else?
I don’t know. I just want to lay down and not get up again.
Sigh. This isn’t good for my mental health.
I’ll try to post this and get out. Check back in later on Chrome, see how that goes.
I miss you all.
19/2 2026
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Hello everyone.
At the time of writing my account is currently [up].
I keep going on fb for 30 seconds and then closing the window, scared of that video selfie lock coming up again.
Thank you for the comments on the last post. I was able to read them. I am scared to react or reply to them, though.
But I will try some different things today. I expect my profile to disappear again. And then I’ll try to get it back via the video selfie.
This is just extremely stresful. It has really hammered home how isolated I am when I don’t have access to my social media friendships. Being practically blind and suffering from massive social anxiety is not great, especially when the tools you use to get by suddenly turn against you. Rise of the machines. I would not be surprised if this is connected to ai in some way. Some ai security check that thinks I’m not human because I don’t conform to regular standards.
Anyway, I will try to post this and hopefully it will go through and stay up as much as possible.
I hope I can find a solution to this. I just want to lay down and not get up.
Love you, miss you.
20/2 2026
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UPDATE:
Got blocked again.
I was able to read on fb. Post on Mia’s page. Post on my page. Send some messages on Messenger. Every time closing the window immediately after doing stuff.
The moment I replied to a comment on my last post, BAM. Locked and having to do video selfie.
This time however I got a message popup when my account was unlocked again. I haven’t gotten that the previous times. Maybe this is because I’m now using an installed version of Firefox instead of a portable install? Maybe it will all work now? Haha, I don’t dare hope.
I still have other things to try. But maybe I’ll just have to settle for posting and reading timeline and not interacting with commentS? I mean, that would be better than nothing. At least I would be able to see what you all are doing. And I would be able to post and share my life and read your comments. Just not talk in comments.
Maybe that’s what I’ll have to end up doing. Assuming I don’t get permanently banned.
Also, if I can actually use Messenger without getting locked, maybe I could start a group chat and invite some of the people that might want to interact with me? I have such a hard time even thinking anyone would ever want to talk to me, so the whole idea just seems preposterous. But a group chat where you can tell me “hey that goat picture is cute” and I can say “Good luck on that exam for the astronaut program you posted about”. Well, maybe it’s something.
Thoughts? I can probably read your comments, just not reply. Try sending me a pm if there’s something important you need to tell me.
I am going to spend more time today trying stuff, hoping to find a solution.
I don’t know why me replying to comments triggers this thing.
And what happens if I fail the selfie at some point.
Oh well. Back to work on trying to solve it. Thanks for all you have all done for me, I appreciate you.
19/2 2026
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This is not a pretty picture.
But it is me.
I prefer how I look when I’m wearing a hat and glasses and with goats a real smile.
But the truth is not always pretty.
I am a human, though. In case any systems were wondering.
20/2 2026
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Okay. I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up. It’s the hope that kicks you.
But I have now been able to react and reply to comments, scroll around, comment and like and do stuff.
Is it fixed?
I’m waiting for it to shortcircuit and kick me in the berries again.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it was fixed?
Wouldn’t it though?
What I tried today was switching from a portable install of Firefox to a system installed Firefox.
I know to most of you, or maybe all of you, that is just gibberish. But basically I’m now using Firefox installed on the computer.
And it did make a difference. The past times when I completed the video selfie check, it didn’t tell me that I passed. It just suddenly started working again. Instead of loading the “You submitted an appeal, please wait for the result” page, it just loaded Facebook page as normal. No message about the result of the appeal.
This time, the first time on the properly installed Firefox, I got a popup message saying something about “you passed and we’re sorry you couldn’t use Facebook while it was going on”. So that was new.
Maybe the past times on the portable Firefox it didn’t.. register that I passed? I don’t understand it, because Facebook did start working properly again. But maybe there was some part of the system that wasn’t notified that I had passed? And that caused it to go back into the selfie loop every time?
I don’t know. It’s just speculation.
But it has been working normally now since I passed the last selfie test on this installed Firefox.
Is it going to keep working? For how long? What even is anything.
For now… I guess my hopes are up.
Thank you everyone for all the comments. The supportive ones and the suggestions and everything. It has been a real tough time mentally for me. I hope I’m through.
I know I’m such a baby, there are so many people all over the world with so much bigger problems, haha. Here I am crying over spilled Facebook. But we all live our own lives, and have our own feelings. I am broken in many places, I’m just trying to keep things from falling apart.
Anyway. Let’s hope, and hope it doesn’t come back to bite us in the berry disposal unit.
I guess we’ll find out if I jinxed it.
20/2 2026
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Okay. I am heading to bed now. Fb has worked properly for me ever since I switched to the installed Firefox earlier today.
So I hope.
That things are okay now.
And I can start finding my way back to some kind of normal.
It has been some bad days for me this week, but thank you to everyone who has cared and supported and suggested. It feels good to hear the (virtual) chatter around me again. It makes me feel less alone. And it warms my heart that there are people who actually want me around. For much of my life I never had that feeling. I still have to pinch myself a little to believe there are people who may like me.
Hey, I didn’t say YOU could pinch me!
Hopefully things will continue to go okay now. That fear of seeing the Video Selfie prompt popup is still sitting in me every time I scroll on the timeline. Hopefully it will go away. Hope.
Thank you everyone again. Also for all the nice comments on my new profile picture. It is not easy for me to show myself unfiltered and unobstructed. Self-loathing still runs deep in me. But you are all a healing force in my life.
Hope you’re all doing well. IOU good karma.
See you tomorrow, if all goes well.
20/2 2026
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I am still here. It would seem. Looks like all parts are still attached.
What a relief. Of course it will be a long time before I will be able to stop worrying about it happening again.
But worrying about it happening is better than it happening.
I hope I am all good now.
I have a lot of stuff to go through, things I have missed. And things I need to fix. I did a lot of testing and changing and messing around to fix the problem. Now I need to try to get everything back to normal. I also have an annoying audio issue with fb. But. The fact that I can on here and see you all and be seen, that is what matters most.
I also got an hour forty on the bike today. So that’s good. I have to get back on track with that. I was doing so well, I was exercising and dieting and losing weight and feeling motivated. Then the Facebook problem hit and I immediately got stressed and depressed and just wanted to eat everything. I cope with sadness by stuffing things in my mouth. And not the fun kind.
But hopefully I can get back at it. It’s going pretty well. Just gotta keep going.
Also got a Pepsi & Protein delivery today, and despite my depression when I put in the order, I managed to avoid adding a lot of unhealthy junk to the shopping cart. Better to have clementines and bananas and apples for treats than doughnuts and.. doughnuts.
Thank you again to everyone who was supportive with suggestions and encouragements, with messages, and the couple of who found me on bluesky. Bluesky was my social outlet while this was going on, and that helped a good bit too.
Onwards and upwards, hopefully. I still have lots of stuff to deal with. But doing it while having my friends with me is a lot easier. I really am fortunate to have met so many wonderful people online. First in the old journalling and sp days and then through the goat page. For someone who is extremely challened at social things in real life, having social media is really important.
Alright, I’ll shut up. Gotta get food in me and get started on trying to clean up some of the mess.
21/2 2026
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Good morning. It seems I am sitll here. That is always a good way to start the day.
I did wake up with a sore throat though. Hopefully I’m not coming down with anything, I feel fine other than that. And some mouth spray has helped the throat too it seems. So I’m probably fine. Good thing I’m not a worrier!
Lots of computer stuff to deal with today, clean up all the messes, get goat media for the week finished up, audio bug experiments. The nonstop action and high stakes life of a scruffy goat herder.
Have a nice day, everybuddies.
22/2 2026
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snowlog
22/2 2026
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Got an email from my ISP with the title “Today is the last day of your internet subscription”
And I was like WHAT THE WHAT NOW?!
And then I open the mail and see that they are talking about my emergency mobile broad subscription. You know, the one I got when I moved into this apartment because they couldn’t get the real connection set up right away.
I didn’t even realise my emergency sub was still running. The proper one was set up in December and has been working without problems.
So this is fine. They will probably want me to return the mobile broadband router, though. So I’ll have to deal with that. But I’m sure I can figure that out.
It was just a little heartstopper for a second. “Oh hello, your internet stops today”. That’s not how you want to open a conversation. Haha.
22/2 2026
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This is how I prefer to see myself. Covered up, behind cloth and tinted glasses. With a genuine smile and with a goat by my side to take the attention.
22/2 2026
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Hey hey, thank you so much to Sam and Debbie Bailey and the goaties, for the lovely card! Turns out it wasn’t so bad that you sent it late, otherwise I might not have gotten it! But it’s nice to be able to get mail again theoretically. Merry Holidays!
22/2 2026
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The week is winding down. It’s been.. quite a week.
Well, you all know what happened. I thought I’d lost all my social life and 99% of my friends I felt like everything was over and I was plunged into deep darkness and
well, now it’s probably okay. At least, back to starting positions. It’s not like I don’t have a bunch of problems still. But at least I have my support system and outlet and friend circle back.
So that’s good. I hope it keeps going ok.
Spent a ton of time today on computer stuff. Most of it well spent. Think I fixed my annoying audio issue, got a lot of stuff cleaned and set up to continue using fb in a new browser. And I won’t bore you with more details, he said too late.
The forecast says warmer weather next week. We should be out of the freezing. We’ll probably be getting rain though. Not exactly Spring yet. But we’ll get there.
I still have a bunch of computer stuff and other stuff to deal with. And I need to get my diet back under control. Why are biscuits and butter so tasty? Maybe I should try some wafer thin mints.
Thank you for being in my life everybody. I am thankful you are. I am humbled and surprised (though I shouldn’t be) and appreciative of all the kindness and support. I can never feel like I deserve it, but I do very much appreciate it. Through the selfie ordeal and also very much on the new profile which was not easy to post and I do not like to look at, but I am so thankful for all the kindness you showed.
Alright. Time to sleep. I miss sleeping for 14-15 hours straight, it’s tempting to go back to that sleep rhythm. But I know it’s not good for me. Just like the buttered biscuits. It’s so tempting to give up on everything, not stop working to get better. Like hands trying to drag me down into the depths, but thankfully there are also your hands dragging me back into the light.
Shine on, you crazy berry diamonds.
22/2 2026
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That’s all for now.
