Good goat times today. Finally back in my right element.
Heavy grey clouds in the morning, but it stayed dry and not too cold. A mild fall day.
But just good to be back with the goats, that’s a much nicer way to spend my time than all the shenanigans last week.
Jeanette told me that the regular visitors from the school ask about me when I’m not there. How sweet.
We did have visitors today too. A boy named Kaj, which is also the name of my dad. He is full of energy, running around and testing the patience of his adults. He loves the goats too even if they aren’t too sure of him and his high energy. Luna has been butting him away, but he doesn’t seem to mind it. At one point I was sitting in the entrance of the goat house by myself and he came up to me and he was like doing a chicken walk and flapping his arms and making i guess chicken noises while he approached me. He’s an oddball, but he’s fun when he’s not being a little too rowdy with the goats.
Other than that I just spent a good long time with all the goats. Seperated them for a while so I could sit with Sky.
I need my goat time when things are gettng crazy.
29/9 2025
—
.
Sky time is good time.

29/9 2025
—
.
With Bella and Luna too.

29/9 2025
—
.
It happened again. My rebuilt playset was dismantled. I suppose some kids just like rolling the logs around? I know the goats love scratching their bodies on stuff, it’s not uncommon for them to push stuff around. But they way the logs were laying didn’t seem like it would have been done by the goats. Who knows. But I got to spend time again putting it back together. It’s not that easy to get it to work, it has to be stable and good to climb on. I do like this new new configuration better than the last one. We’ll see how long it lasts this time.

29/9 2025
—
.
Yesterday, when I came home from the goats, I saw I had a missed call on my phone. From the humber of the housing association.
My heart kind of sank and I thought “WHAT NOW”.
I called them back and it turned out it was just Sarah, who has been my main contact there, who wanted to doublecheck that it was right that I wanted to accept the 2nd offer, not the first. So that was fine.
Later in the day I got not one, but two (count them) emails from the housing association. One in my regular hotmail account and one in the official Danish mail service thing where you get stuff from the government and official places.
Again, my heart pounding, wondering if there was some new unforseen trouble to face.
But it was just a notification about a laundry room change and a notice that my rent would go up a little because of the newly approved budget of association.
So, nothing to deal with.
Yesterday was the last day to reply to the apartment offer, so I expect it won’t be too long before I get the confirmation that I am getting the 2nd apartment. And then I can proceed with signing the contract and then I can begin to really prepare for the move.
I am glad I have a fairly big window of time to get it all sorted. And I’m really really glad I spent the time and effort earlier in the year to get rid of a lot of my junk. I would have had enough time to get it done now, but its’ really nice not having to go through two bookshelves and several boxes and binders of ancient documents and stuff collected over the years. It wouldn’t have been fun to undertake that project while getting ready for moving too.
For now, just taking it easy. Giving myself a break until the official paperwork comes in.
Seven weeks and counting.
30/9 2025
—
.
One, two, three goats. Count ’em. Got them all in there. I had been out in the big pen with Bella and Luna, that’s why Sky managed to get a relaxing sitdown in the hatchway. I wish she had an easier time and didn’t feel like she always has to run from the big girls. Hopefully she’s still living a happy life, I’m doing my best to help that.

30/9 2025
—
.
Alright. I just spent half an hour reading documents.
But I have signed the contract for my new apartment.
I hope. The process was a little confusing. I hope I didn’t mess anything up. I’m supposed to be able to see my signed documents on the site, but it’s empty. But I did get an email saying that all parties had signed the document. Maybe it just takes time to update on the site.
And two days to sign the contract seemed a little rushed. Especially since they sent it to a different email address than the one I have been using for our communication so far. Good thing i check both.
I do have another question, so I think i will call the housing association tomorrow.
I also need to transfer the money. That’s a pretty hefty sum, with deposit and first month’s rent. Sigh.
I hope there won’t be any complications.
The big question is going to be the condition of my current apartment. There’s no way I can do a real proper cleaning and maintennance on it. I am just.. not capable of that. The question is since the apartment will be done away with, am I going to get a huge bill? Or are they basically tearing it all down and not caring. Because of what I’ve been through, I really haven’t been able to maintain the apartment as I should. They will find my negligent, but how much is it going to matter? How much will I have to pay? Will there be other consequences? That’s really my biggest fear now. I can’t fix this place up. I will just have to see what they say.
Time will tell. But I have signed the contract, presumably. So now there’s no going back. The next couple of months are going to be.. important. I feel the crushing weight of it.
30/9 2025
—
.
The crushing weight of reality is suffocating. I cannot run from its quicksand kiss.
30/9 2025
—
.
It’s all getting too real.
Today I signed the termination of my lease.
Yesterday I signed the contract for my new apartment.
No going back now. I feel like there’s cold hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing the breath out of me.
I wish I could remember the safeword.
I take over the new apartment on November 1st. Move in around the middle of the month. Hand over the keys for my old place on December 1st.
I will be happy when this is all over. I hope.
Oh well. Today is just a fart in the wind. Tomorrow it will be a scent memory.
1/10 2025
—
.
Fork. Got notice that they’ll be coming on Friday to appraise my apartment. That’s way sooner than I thought it would happen.
No real time to prepare. And my place is a mess. As I said, i’m really worried about hte condition of my apartment.
They want to rent it out in the period until the building is renovated in April. So, negligence and maintennance will still cost me.
I’m really worried about his now. But I will just have to see how it goes. Hope it won’t be too bad.
The notice also says I have to pay rent until January 1st if they don’t manage to rent it out to someone else. But I have been promised I wouldn’t have to pay rent for two places. So I have to call and ask about that. Ugh.
I wish it would all just go away.
1/10 2025
—
.
I just flew in from reality, and boy are my everything tired.
It’s 9pm and I’m going to bed. Because I’ve had a day/week/month/year.
Going to try to do some prep tomorrow. And then Friday will be a nightmare, hooray.
Thanks everyone, for being there. Here. In the air tonight.
Nitey nite.
1/10 2025
—
.
It has been a gnarly day. Tomorrow is likely to be worse. Potentially traumatic.
The TLDR is that my apartment is in really bad condition and since the housing association wants to rent it out for the three months until it gets torn down (just myapartment, not the building) it means I could be liable for a considernable amount.
Honestly, it is pretty certain that I’m going to lose a lot of money on this. I just.. hope it won’t be all my life savings. Or that I’ll be in debt or evicated or something. It could get bad.
I may find out a little more at the ‘pre-appraisal’ tomorrow. I don’t know if appraisal is the right word, when they go through the apartment to see what needs to be fixed. The pre-appraisal is to give me advice about things i can do before leaving the apartment, to save myself money potentially. There’s just a lot of stuff I can’t do. Even the basic stuff will be a challenge.
Anywat, that’s the shortish version.
Now I will go on and ramble about my day, as I like to do.
I gave myself a nice long 12 hours in bed, drifting in and out of dreams. That was nice.
Then first thing when the housing assoc phone lines opened, I call to inquire about my rent. The notice about the pre-appraisal said that if they didn’t manage to rent out my apartment I would have to pay rent until January 1st. But I had previously been told that I would not have to pay double rent. So I wanted to find out about that. And I think it was Sarah I talked to again, she reassured me that I would not be paying double rent. So that’s good.
After I finished that phone call I went to my banking site and paid the deposit + first month’s rent on the new apartment. So that’s done now. And that’s for November, so I won’t be paying rent for November in this apartment, according to my phone call. I have paid October’s rent for this one. And then November and December will be the new one.
Alright.
Next up was a problem with my balcony door. Yes, I have a little balcony. it’s basically just big enough to step out on, I don’t even think I could fit a chair there. I have not ever used it. But the door has been giving me problems. There’s some kind of rubber lining that’s gone lose, and I meant I couldn’t get it shut properly. I managed to get it shut, but there was still a gap. I basically insulated it with cloths and stuff. Because I didn’t want to deal with it.
But that was today’s second call to the housing assoc. And they sent a guy over. I love waiting for guys to come over…
He somewhat managed to fix it. At least so I can close the door. But it’s still not closing tight like it should. There’s a gap.
If I was going to be living here permanently I would have to get it fixed, but I don’t know how big a job it would be. I think I can manage with my own insulation for the month and change I will be here.
I am just so tired.
After the guy had left I tried to do some basic fixing of problematic things in my apartment. In preparation for tomorrow. And it just kind of cemented the fact that it is beyond me. I will not be able to get this apartment in good condition. Not on my own. The questions is wnhether I can leave it to the housing assoc to do it or if I need to hire a professional cleaning company. I will be paying that’s for sure. And the real question is if the damage is so great that it will have further consequences. I can hope that the fact that I have been here for 18 years and that the apartment is going to get removed in April will count in my favour. But you can’t count on business interests being nice to you for the sake of being nice. From what I’ve heard they can be pretty ruthless. Fair, hopefully.
But yeah, it could get ugly. And I am extremely stressed and ancious and scared and worried and other words that mean berrying my pants. I am really finding it hard to face all this. I feel like I don’t know if I can survive this.
But hey. One day a day. I’m done for today. Going to have soup, probably iced creams tonight. And then I’ll have to get through tomorrow. Somehow.
2/10 2025
—
.
Well, things just keep getting gnarlier.
I got an SMS from the housing portal, saying that my current apartment has been made available for offers with last day to reply on Tuesday.
Oh. Kay. I don’t understand. The notice from the housing association about the pre-appraisal tomorrow said that among other things it was to evaluate if the apartment was ready to be rented out again.
I mean, it’s definitely not ready right now. But apparently they have put it up on the housing portal. I guess they assume that by December 1st it will be good enough to be rented out. And that someone will be interested in renting it until April when it’s torn down. I don’t really understand why the last reply date is Tuesday October 7th when the apartment isn’t available until December 1st. But maybe that’s how apartment rental scheduling works.
Weird.
But the thing is, I am obligated to show off the apartment to interested people. Just like I went and looked at the two apartments. So, now I’m faced with that. Possibly having strangers coming to my apartment. Something I hate enough when it’s warranted, needed. Now it’s just strangers that I have zero connection to, zero benefit from meeting, people that will want to look at my place, my stuff.
I can’t imagine anyone coming to look at my place right now will want to move in.
Ugh. I guess I can hope no one wants it. But knowing my luck i’ll probably have a bunch of people wanting to see it. I sure hope not.
Maybe no one will be interested in it, since it’s such a short term rental. But there could be people who are desperate for just any short term place while waiting for other options.
Well, I guess I’ll just have to take it as it comes. If people come here and think it’s a pigsty, what do I care. I’ll tell them about the constant noise from neighbours, the bulldozers at 6 am, the poor condition of it all. I’ll be honest. If they want it, then good for them. And if not, good for them. Since I have been promised that I won’t pay double rental, I really don’t care if anyone rents it when I’m gone or not.
I just.. feel like everything keeps piling on. Even if everything went smoothly this would be difficult for me. Right now it just feels insurmountable.
I am not feeling good. Stress and depression and anxiety is through the roof. And i’m on the ground floor here, so you know that’s way up.
But whatever. Step by step, day by day. One day a day. Take it as it comes, cos I don’t have any choice.
2/10 2025
—
.
Hello. I survived.
I got through another thing.
It was not easy. But it went much better than I had feared.
First off I have to say another massive thank you to Helle.
We’re friends on the facebox and she saw my post about the pre-appraisal. And she messaged me and offered to be there for it.
I had to think about it a little. Just because I really hate having people in my apartment. And I like Helle. Honestly I’m pretty ashamed of the state of my apartment, and kind of want as few people as possible to see it.
But. After considering it I had to come to the conclusion that having Helle there could only be a help. And I didn’t want to turn that help down because of my own stupid insecurities and fears. So I accepted the offer. And I am very grateful for it.
Okay, the important part. They came and saw my apartment and the state of my apartment is not good, but it’s not as bad as I had feared. It’s not in a condition to be rented out to anyone right now, and the appraiser said that he didn’t think it would make sense to get it fixed up just to rent it out for 3 months and then have it torn down. So he’s going to recommend not renting it out, he said he’d put in a word for that. If that’s what happens then I will only have to deliver it appropriately cleaned. Not fix all the flaws.
So I am really really hoping for that. That would be a huge relief. That would make things so much simpler.
In general I am relieved. It went so much better than I had feared. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I was just kind of a mess.
So, the longer story of the day.
Got up early since I couldn’t sleep and did some more basic tidying up and trying to hide away the worst bits.
The appraised was supposed to come at 10.15 and Helle at 10 am.
Turned out the appraiser turned up like a minute after Helle was there. Not real great to not keep to the appointed time. But whaveter. So I didn’t have time to talk to Helle beforehand. We just went right into it.
And thankfully it wasn’t too bad. The notice had said it would be a ‘superficial’ evaluation of the apartment. I wasn’t sure what that meant. If they would like be moving my furniture around, opening closets, checking everything closely.
Thankfully that wasn’t it. It took… 10-15 minutes I guess. And most of it was just standing and talking. The appraiser, and another one who seemed like an apprentice or such, did some basic looking. But not really closely at anything. A superficial evaluation.
When Helle came in first she said it wasn’t that bad. I had prepared her and told her that I was ashamed of the place and it was a mess. Apparently she’s seen much worse. She’s been in a lot of apartments since she does a lot of advocating and just general activities in the area.
Anyway, the condition of my apartment is definitely not great. The floors are real bad. And I was really worried aout the bathroom because there’s like fungus in the walls. Helle said it wasn’t that bad. Just needs to be painted.
So yes, it wasn’t a disaster. My fears of financial bankruptcy or immediate eviction, that did not come into play. I am going to lose some money, because I am just not capable of properly cleaning the place when I leave, i will need to hire someone to do that I am pretty sure. I am prepared to do that.
But all in all it seems much less consequential than I had feared, and the experience was much less traumatic than I had feared. And having Helle there was a huge help. She has experience with these things and she was able to communicate a bit about my situation, it was really helpful.
This was something I felt I couldn’t face, so it feels really good to be through it.
The appraiser did say that when I move to the new apartment I need to be careful and keep it maintained better. And he gave me some pointers and advice. We talked a bit about that. And he was noting things on his laptop.
And then it was over. This huge giant thing that I didn’t know if i could survive. I got through it.
There are still hard things ahead, my panic will come back for sure. But right now I’m feeling mostly relief. And also tired. Going to take the weekend off to relax. Hopefully no new scary things will pop up right now.
I talked to Helle for a bit after it was done. I will have to start focusing on the move itself soon. And Helle is being helpful with that too. I am so glad I got in touch with her, feels like I found a guardian angel. No pressure! I am just so grateful for the help.
Time to relax now. And gather strength for the next storm.
Thank you everyone for the support and advice and love! I am having a difficult time, but I appreciate not being alone.
I live to fart another day.
3/10 2025
—
.
Not that it matters at all compared to stuff going on in my life, but I wish to register my complaint about Facebook pivoting to reels.
Please feel free to skip this entire post, there is nothing of importance, just me letting off some steam.
The other day I get the notice that from now on all my videos on my Page are automatically reels.
Thanks a lot.
Reels suck. Much less accessible than the old video format. For some reason they insist on putting the text on top of the video? And since i have to have my text zoomed to a huge size, there are a lot of reels that i basically cannot watch because the entire video is covered by huge text.
And then i got and look at my old videos on the Page and now instead of a neat list with titles and dates and stuff, now it’s a bunch of thumbnails in portrait format even though all my videos are in landscape format. I’m sure they’re chasing the tiktok format or whatever.
I love sharing the goat journey with people on the page. But it’s getting so annoying that part of me just wants to quit all that.
I’m trying to keep the goat posts coming there even when my days are filled with tough stuff.
Ugh and now I keep getting notifications when pages I follow post reels. And since all videos are now reels, that means notifications for every video. I don’t want notifications for posts. I want notifications for comments. I got to my wall to see posts. I’m not walking around with a phone in my hand, i don’t need notifications when people post stuff. It’s like on Youtube where everyone says “don’t forget to hit that bell to get notified when I post”. No. No no no. I don’t want to be notified when you post. I go to my subscription box to see what the people I subscribe to are posting. I don’t need to watch a video the second you post it. I’ll watch it when I dam nwell want to. I don’t need to be told you posted something. I’ll see it when i look at my subs.
Fneeergh. Of a geenie popped out of my butt when I wiped I’d wish for it to be 1990 again, among other things.
Okay. Feels kind of good to rant about unimportant things again. Too many important things lately. I’m scared everytime I open my email, dreading something new from the housing business.
Hopefully things calm down a little now. Until the drones invade.
Episode 5 Attack Of The Drones.
3/10 2025
—
.
And a little goat content for good measure. Sky and the guy.

3/10 2025
—
.
Lazy Saturday. Just relaxing. Going to cook up a pot of soup now. For lunchdinnersnacks.
It’s a weird time now, so many Big Scary Things happening and out of the blue emergency Must Act Now things. It’s hard to sit back and relax. Keep expecting a phone call saying that my new apartment has been eaten by termites and I have to go to Latvia and find an anteater.
Or something.
Still very relieved that yesterday was faced and braved and that it went so much better than I had feared.
But the nervousness of the coming things is brewing again, that constant feeling of being on edge and your tummy rumbling, not from hunger but from.. nerves? Fear. I don’t know. I know people move all the time and it usually goes fine. But I don’t move all the time. How do I know if it will go fine?
Hopefully it will. I’m going to focus on the soup now. My routine is watching and old episode of The Soup while eating soup. A cosmic balance.
I depend a lot on routines. I had years where basically nothing new or exciting happened. And I liked it like that. It’s difficult for me when I don’t know what to expect, don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t cope well with that. I just want everything in its right place. And everything has been a jumbled mess lately.
But enough prattle, I’ll dive into the soup. Hope you’re all having a good weekend.
4/10 2025
—
.
It’s funny how some things stick in your head and become canon. Become the true version of things. Like Jeremy Brett, to me he’s just Sherlock Holmes. Doesn’t matter how well anyone else does, to me he’s Sherlock.
And this, this is my Robin Hood. I see a new Robin Hood series is coming out soon. And the trailer looks decent. But to me. This is Robin Hood. All these years later, i still remember that music so wel. Even before rewatching the opening. Over the years, i would still hear it in myhead. Robin.. the hooded man. And Herne the hunter.
That, and the old Amiga game. If you know you know.

4/10 2025
—
.
Luna, the perfect hugging goat.

4/10 2025
—
.
I was planning to sleep late today. Really late. Til noon.
At 9.30 they started working somewhere in an adjacent apartment. Sawing, hammering etc.
I guess I’m up.
I suppose 9.30 am isn’t a totally unreasonable time for them to start working. Better than the 6.30 am bulldoers on weekdays. But still. They were working yesterday too. I would like some quiet weekends. I don’t know who it is doing it or what they’re doing or why they seem to do it exclusively on weekends. Don’t know if it’s the neighbours doing private stuff or if it’s the housing association doing maintennance or whatever.
And coupled with all the general noise from the neighbours. I understand that it’s an ancient building (that’s why it needs to be renovated) and I understand that kids will eb kids and they’ll run around and flap doorhandles and scream and shout. And it’s not their fault that even normal speaking voices in some of their rooms go straight thrugh my walls.
But yes. One of the things that would be super nice about the new place would be much less noise. I hope. I sure hope.
Time to turn up the music to drown out the sawing.
Oh yes, also got a notice from the municipality that my housing support has been cancelled since I’m moving out on November 1st. Have to apply for it for my new place. Hopefully that’s just a formality. No problemo. Everything’s fine. I just love getting formal looking stuff in my email these days, it’s such a thrill to feel your heart trying to leap out of your throat. Hooray.
5/10 2025
—
.
goatlog

5/10 2025
—
.
How can time be so slow and so fast at the same time? Isn’t there some kind of law of relativity that is suppsoe to protect me against this?
I just wish I could cocoon myself and stay hidden away in a bubble where nothing ever changed.
Or maybe I should watch Cocoon.
5/10 2025
—
.
Sky relaxing. I like that she got the chance to sit in the hatchwindow, normally that’s occupied by the big girls.

5/10 2025
—
.
Another week is over. A big hurdle cleared, more to come.
I hope next week will be pretty lowkey. More lowkey less Loki.
Hopefully no big unforeseen challenges.
One thing that’s up in the air is whether I will get any calls from people that will want to see my apartment? I don’t actually know if my apartment is still listed as available for offers. Hopefully they will not want to rent it out after all, but I don’t know if it’s still up on the housing portal. Last reply date is Tuesday, if it is. So the next couple of days I’ll be crossing my fingers for no calls on that.
Got a couple of things I need to handle. Applying for housing support at the new place, and then I’m supposed to get a new acces key to the washing room, I got a noticed that I should have gotten that before October 1st. Unless it’s down in my mailbox tomorrow then I’ll have to call them about that.
Other than that I guess it’s just slowly starting to prepare for the move. I still have stuff in my apartment to go through and throw out. Time to get rid of everything that i don’t absolutely want and need to bring with me.
Glad I still have a good amount of time for that. I still have 6 weeks until the actual move. I get the apartment in a month, but they have two weeks after that to fix it up.
So I have time to plan and prepare.
And worry and worry and worry and worry.
And so on and so forth.
But for now. One day a day, and hopefully a quiet week ahead.
5/10 2025
—
.
.
..
That’s all for now.

Okay.
I am in complete panic mode. Terrified and gutpunched.
I have been offered a new apartment.
From October 15th.
I have to answer by Thursday.
I am number one on the list, if I say yes, I will get it.
I am not ready. I am scared. I am drowning. I am in way over my head. I don’t know how to do this.
Breathebreathebreathe.
It’s too soon. I don’t really want it this soon. I wanted to wait till March.
But I don’t really have a choice. The housing association is obligated to give me two offers. If I decline this offer then I would have no choice but to accept the next offer.
And that original plan for March, that only has about a week’s timeframe for the move, and if renovations go over schedule it could be a huge problem if the new place isn’t ready by the time I have to be out of the old.
And and and.
This offer is on the 4th floor. I really don’t like that. I would prefer ground floor.
But. I can’t refuse it. I have to take it. I don’t know what the alternative could end up being.
I’m just really really really. Scared. Of everything. I am not a capable adult, how am I going to handle this. It’s to the point where I wish I was dead so I didn’t have to deal with this.
I know, that’s not really constructive. Slightly less constructive than digging a hole and getting in the hole and filling the hole with sand and hoping no one will notice me.
Argh.
I am not sure exactly where the apartment is, but it must be two blocks over. There’s the building I’m in. And then there’s the one next to mine which is having all the renovations done now. And I think the new apartment is in the next building. So basically the same area. I think it’s 2 square feet smaller. But I think it must be basically the same kind of apartment.
I have to call the current tenant and see if I can come have a look. But I’d have to do that before Thursday.
fk fk fkfkfkfkf
I would have three weeks I guess. To do the move. I just.. don’t know how to do anything. I have never moved, other than when i moved away from home. Twenty years ago.
And then they’re going to evaluate my current apartment to see if it is fit to be rented out temporarily when it’s empty. The condition of my apartment is really bad. I am really worried about getting a huge bill for negligence and stuff.
And what about drapes. And the lamps. And the internet. And all my stuff. All my idiosyncrasies that I depend on to cope with things.
The housing association is going to arrange the moving company. I really hope they can take some of my furniture away, I need to get rid of at least two bookshelves and the fkn treadmill I have standing that I stupidly bought and broke and it’s too heavy for one person to move. Will a moving company take stuff to goodwill or whatever?
And and and and
And now I have 30 minutes less to deal with it than before I started typing this. Time is ticking and I’m chasing white rabbits.
fk fk fk
I knew I had to deal with this eventually but I really had hoped I.. wouldn’t. Come on heart attack go go!
sht
I mean, I guess i will just have to jump into the river and sink or swim. See where the current takes me.
I just really wish I had some of those plastic arm floaties. Maybe a rubber duck and an inflatable tube.
So much for getting back to healthy living and stuff, the next three weeks are going to be focused on one thing only.
Gosh darnit. I am terrified and I just want it to go away.
How do you people do adult living? It seems too much to ask of a person, nobody told me there would be consequences and responsibilities.
Sorry panicmouth won’t stop gabbering. i’m going to be real fun to be around now.
Maybe a monh from now everything will be great and solved.
Maybe it won’t. Try and guess what my fatalistic mind is being drawn to like magnets to Bender’s shiny metal ass.
Alright. Alright. I guess I should get my soup cooking. I need to call the current tenant tonight and see if it’s possible to make an arrangement one of the next days. It’s not like I can say no to the offer and the apartment should basically be the same as my current one, just renovated. But it would be nice to have a quick look inside, before I have to reply to the offer.
This rambling post instead of the happy goat post I was getting ready to compose before I checked my email. Rookie mistake. Never check your email. THATS HOW THEY GET TO YOU.
There is too much reality, I wish it came in smaller slices.
22/9 2025
—
.
Thank you everyone so much for all the comments. The support and advice. i really truly deeply appreciate it.
I’m not going to lie, i’m not in a good space right now. Mentally. Maybe I’ll be in a better space physically soon! Haha. One can hope.
I am just in total constant panic mode right now. And that’s probably not going to change for the next 3+ weeks. It’s going to be difficult.
But I took the first step. I called the current tenant. She seemed very nice. We set up a time tomorrow for me to see the apartment. I was a little surprised, she said she was coming from [another geographic location]. So, I guess she has already moved out? Or maybe I misunderstood her, maybe that location is where she works. She was at work when I called just now, and we had to schedule the meeting to fit with her work schedule.
Anyway, doesn’t matter I guess. It would be nice if I could see the apartment empty. I don’t really know how all this stuff works. I’m just glad I got the courage worked up to actually call. I even wrote a little script for myself, which I barely followed.
But first step went well. So I should get to see the place tomorrow. And unless something goes very wrong, I will have to accept it anyway. Thursday by the latest. And then.. Well I guess I’ll have to start preparations for the move. I will need to get more details about exactly when and how it will be done. Meanwhile I will carry on the work i had begun to get rid of as much stuff as possible. That mission has been on hold for a few months because well things started falling apart. But now I gotta get that finished quick.
Basically throw out as much stuff as possible. I need to get down and empty my storage room in the basement, I haven’t been down there for years.
And my understanding is I’ll get moving boxes from the moving company or the housing association. And then I will have to start boxing everything up.
I will do some reading up about advice for moving. I know there is a section about that on the housing assoc’s website.
Maybe if i sit completely still then time will stop to a halt and nothing will happen. I can just sit here like a statue for the next hundred years while the world blurs around me. Maybe?
Probably not.
I am scared shtless about the move. Aout the logistics. You don’t know the half of how settled in my ways I am. Having everything uprooted and having to resettle, it’s a nightmare. Even if I were normally abled of body and mind. And I’m far from that.
Alrgiht well. I guess I deserve a pat on my own back for getting the meeting set up. It went easier than I had feared. Hopefully the meeting itself will go well. Mostly it will just be an excuse to find the exact location of the new place. I assume the apartment is basically the same as my current one, just renovated. I shouldn’t need more than a glimpse in there. If it’s empty maybe it would be okay to film inside? I might like to have that to look at in preparation.
The woman on the phone said that she had one other person coming to look at it. So I’m not the only one interested. But since I’m number 1 on the list that shouldn’t matter.
Right right. One day a day, I don’t have any other choice. Shts gonna hit the fan whether I’m facing it or not. Wait, maybe facing the sht on the fan isn’t the best metaphor. Oh whatever. I can’t stop it, so I have to do my best.
I don’t like the idea of having people above and below me. But there are so fe ground floow 1 room apartments available, since half or more of them are getting done away with entirely now too, so I can’t hold out and hope for one of those to come along. I would rather wait for the March one, but there are pitfalls with that option. I have to take this one. The timeframe for this one is a lot better than the one in March would be. I just wish.. the timeframe was at a later time. But this gives me better time to deal with it. And maybe that will help, since there’s no way to avoid dealing with it completely.
Okay. i’m going to have ice cream now because I’m a big boy and I can do what i want.
Again, thank you all so much for the comments. You have no idea how much it means to me that there are people listening and caring and supporting. Sorry I’m not replying to every comment in great length. Right now I am literally physically shaking and I have been for about 4-5 hours. Periodically I lean over and just grab my bald head and sort of shake back and forth and moan giberish about being doomed, and that’s not an exaggeration. There has been hard things happening the past few months, and this is the hardest yet.
But yes, I truly appreciate your support and advice. Keep it coming if you have any! I’m going to have iced creams and then I’m going to try to sleep and then tomorrow will be the first step on the rest of the journey. Tomorrow won’t be easy, but it will be trivial compared to what’s up next.
Like I overdramatically posted on bluesky, either my life is over or it’s about to begin. Welp. Thanks for helping me.
22/9 2025
—
.
Well, I had a day.
I went and looked at not one but two apartments today. Literally 5 minute notice.
Yeah it’s been a day. I don’t know if I can say it’s been good. It’s been extremely challenging. But it’s good that I faced it. The outcome? I can’t say good. But. Better than feared?
I am still in panic mode and terrified and overwhelmed. But I suppose I am feeling a little better about it than yesterday. Slightly. Still not sure how I’m going to get through all this.
Okay. THE TLDR I went and looked at two apartments, met two really nice people and also randomly bumpes into Helle. I am thinking I am going to accept the second apartment, which will be available from November 1st.
That’s the very short version. Now put on a keg of coffee and let me tell you the long one. It helps me to write it all out and it’s nice to have a record of it all.
So. I had set up the meeting for the first apartment for today at 2pm. I had figured I’d spend the day before that getting back to the cleaning and getting rid of junk mission. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I sat around and felt terrified and anxious. Ate protein bars and bananas and watched youtube videos.
Alriht, that’s fine. I decided to go out at 1 pm. A little ridiculous since it would basically b a 5 minute walk. But I just wasn’t sure how easy it would be for me to find the place. I figured I knew the general locaton of the building, but you know I worry. So I gave myself an hour to find the place and maybe do some scouting.
That turned out not to be the worst idea, because I did have a hard time finding it. The numbers on the building were really hard for me to see. They were big. But if you have a limited field of (extremely bad) vision then big isn’t always great. Big black numbers on dark glass with a dark apartment entranceway inside, that’s not great. I thought I was at the wrong building. It took me 10 minutes to find out that I had been at the right one. Lots of walking around. Got my steps in.
When I did locate the right entrance, i had about 30 minutes to spare. So I went around and did some more recon of the area. And sat down and waited for a bit. When there was 10 minutes to go, I went back to the entrance. And that’s when the trouble really began. The renovated buildings have locked doors and a door phone. What’s it called? A buzzer? My building you can just walk in and out. The new ones you can’t. And the door phone was impossible for me to use. I had figured that might be a problem, so I brought my fancy looking glass. I still could not read the screen. It wasn’t one where you press a button for a corresponding apartment. There was a numpad, but i ‘m not even sure how it works. How you’d buzz a specific apartment. I don’t know man. I was literally leaning over it with a looking glass like i was Sherlock looking for fingerprints. Then a voice from behind me. “Do you need some help?”. I said yes, I could really use some help. I’m going up to see an apartment but i can’t work this thing. A nice young woman, she said “oh well that’s me you’re coming to see”. Haha. Good timing.
So she let me in. She had her bike with her, and she had to put that down in the basement. So she showed me the basement first. And then up to the apartment. She was very nice, and i was of course trying to appear as if I were a normal human. I tried! So, I was right in my assumption that she had already moved out. The apartment was all empty. Echoing footsteps on wooden floors. My first impression was that it was small. Smaller than i had expected. My current apartment is 41 squaremeters. This one was 39. I thought that wouldn’t make much of a difference, but I guess my comprehension of squaremeters is borked or maybe it was just the general design of things that made it feel even smaller. But I did think that it felt considerably smaller than my current one.
So my general impression was that it felt too small, but that I could probably live with that. It would foce me into even more of a minimal footprint, really need to shed everything I don’t need.
The worst part was that the accessibility just felt worse. From the door phone to the whole area, more stairs and windy pathways, the hallways felt more cramped and dark. The mailboxes were basically impossible to read. I don’t know why when you renovate and modernise things, you don’t focus more on makimg it more accessible. My current building feels more open and easier to deal with. Kind of ironic since part of the renovation is that they’re getting rid of the middle ground floor apartments to open up more space. Doesn’t feel like they have managed it very well. But what do I know.
Anyway. The lady was very nice and it seemed fairly okay. I wasn’t happy with it, but I felt like it would be something I could live with. Luckily you don’t have to use the door phone when you’re the one living there, you get a little chip thing that you put to the buzzer and the door unlocks. Hopefully the door phone won’t be too complicated when getting deliveries.. I think you have to give out a code for people. I hope there’s good information material when you move in..
So, I was walking the five minute walk home, and a car stopped next to me. A lady greeted me. And said “it’s Helle”. Ooh! Faceblindness, and blindness in general, makesfor awkward social situation. But Helle is super nice. You may remember she helped me back at the first meetings, came and met me at the goat place. I actually messaged her yesterday to ask if she had any advice. Funny bumping into her by chance on my way home. We had a nice little chat that helped me sort some stuff in my head about the apartment too. So that was nice. It’s good to know someone in the local area, and Helle is very active in all the neighbourhood stuff. Glad I got to know her.
So. I thought that was going to be my day. And that i would have to accept that apartment despite having misgivings about it, and general super panix and anxiety.
I got home and took a shower and settled down. Sitting down at the computer, getting ready to write a million words on facebook. Then I checked my email. And there was a new offer for a different apartment. Whaaa. I was a little taken aback. I had gotten the impression at the first meeting that it wouldn’t be too likely taht I would get anything offered until March when the renovation of the neighbour block finished. Now here was another one.
Reading the email the first thing that struck me was that this one was 41 squaremeters like my own. And it was in the block next door. Literally. Some of you have seen the ‘golden port’, part of the building that was knocked down to route a road through it. Well, this second apartment is in the golden port building. It is literally next door. I live in number 50, this is number 46. Number 48 is the end of this building i’m in now, number 46 is the first part of the next building. Thirty seconds away.
So that was all very interesting. But now I had to deal with that. I thought I had dealt with everything for today and gotten through. Now more stuff to deal with. Uck. And all my avoidant instincts screaming to just ignore.
But I had to act on it. The deadline for answering the first offer is Thursday. So I figured I really needed to see the second apartment before that if I could. On paper it seemed like a better choice, but what if I took it and it was worse?
So. As much as the panic was rising, I forced myself to call the contact number of the current tenant. No one answered. It didn’t even go to voicemail. So now I didn’t know what to do. Send a text message? I am on an old dumb phone, writing text messages is really difficult and time consuming. I was weighing my options, thought I’d try again a little later. Thankfully after about 10 minutes the phone rang. And it was the guy calling back. So I asked if we could set a meeting. I suggested tomorrow and he said we could do that, he had some work and other stuff. But around 4 pm he could fit me in. After my experience at the first place I told him that because I was extremely visually impaired I would have problems with the door phone and I asked if it would be okay if I just called him on the phone when I was at the door. He said sure. And then he asked if maybe I could just come over right now. I asked if I could come in an hour’s time, but he said now he had to go but if i could come right now then we could do it. Alright. So suddenly I had to get up and put pants on again, man I hate when I have to wear pants so much! I told him that I was basically next door. He asked if it would help me if he came out to meet me halfway. Very kind of him. So i went out, didn’t see him there so i started walking over to that building. Literally 15 seconds away. And he came out of the door and greeted me. Let me in and took me up in the elevator.
Now this guy. He was really cool. I was so worried about meeting one new person today, I didn’t think I’d have to meet two. And both times I was terrified they’d be horrible and unfriendly or put-upon by me even being there. But they were both really nice. And this guy especially. He was so talkative. Almost to the point of it being comical. He told me a lot of stuff. About the apartment and neighbours, but also about himself. He told me some deeply personal stuff. Obviously I’m not going to share that here, but it was like truly personal stuff about health and relationship, why he’s moving, some very serious stuff he’d been through. At one point he started talking about the church and how it had helped me, and it was like two steps away from being a scene from a sitcome where a guy is trying to talk you into going to church group with him. He did stop short of that, although I did get the impression that he thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea if i wanted to join some church meetings or stuff, even if i’m not religious, but just for the community aspect.
But he was really cool and it helped me that he talked so much, because oviously I don’t.
And he was so helpful. Several times he literally took my hand and guided it to feel things, because I couldn’t see. He told me about the door phone, he showed me how the chip thing works to unlock it, let me try it myself.
He showed me how the drapes worked. They’re like fancy blinders built into the thermal windows, I wasn’t expecting that. I asked him if he was planning to take his drapes with him, because getting drapes up is something i worry about. But he said no, they’re built in.
And he showed me the oven. There’s an actual oven. I don’t have an oven in my apartmnet. I mean I bought a small electrical one, haven’t used that in many years. But this place has an actual oven as part of the deal. I didn’t think any of the one room apartment had that.
And the size of the place felt like pretty much the same as mine.
The only realy downside to this one, compared to the other one, is that it’s on the 6th floor. So two floors higher up than the other. But I guess I can learn to use the elevator. I am not sure how accessible it is, both places it was the other person who did the elevator button pushing. Not sure how well I can see those buttons. But I’m sure I can learn that. I walked down the 6 floors of stairs when I left, that was fine. Not sure how hard walking UP the stairs would be. But maybe it’ll be good exercise.
Anyway yeah. He was so helpful and so open and sharing. And he basically told me that i should take this one. He wasn’t leaving because he didn’t like it, there were other personal reasons for that. But he really liked the apartment, the place, the neighbours, everything. I asked him if there was a bother what with a road going literally through the bulding, but he said that wasn’t felt at all.
This apartment is no the left side of the golden portal.
Well I guess that’s about the whole story. It’s been a tough day, but I’m happy I faced it. Happy I got both things done. Happy it went as well as it did. The whole moving thing is going to be extremely difficult, but this part went as well as I could have hoped.
I think I’ll have to accept the second apartment. It’s bigger, it’s right next door literally which means no change in area. The first apartment was actually a little closer to the goats, but again only like 5 minutes. And that area feels harder to find my way around. The second apartment would mean literally not change in travel time, finding my way. Anything. Basically just moving next door.
The door phone would be the same problem in both places. And 6th floor or 4th floor won’t make a huge difference, since I can’t have a ground floor apartment anymore.
So that’s where I guess I’m going.
I have to reply to the second offer on Monday by tle latest. And it’s available November 1st. So that also gives me two extra weeks compared to the first apartment. Maybe that’s just more time to worry, but my avoidant self likes to push things away as much as possible.
Sheesh what a day. Need to eat something now. Iced cream for dessert. And then I think I’m going to sleep in very late tomorrow. I’m just going to stay in bed and pretend there’s nothing to worry about. Before facing the future.
Thank you again so much everyone for all the support. This is a really difficult, you don’t even know the full scope of all the thing I deal with.. but I’m just trying to compartmentalize. Sink or swim. Try to keep swimming. One day a day, and this was a big one. I guess I’ll take a couple of days before accepting the secnod apartment. And then it’s on to the next compartment.
23/9 2025
—
.
Bad news.
I mentioned yesterday that the email with the offer of the 2nd apartment didn’t include the pdf with extra info, right?
Well, i got that pdf now. And it states that because of the renovation plans for the neighbourhood, this offer is a limited time one. Meaning, this apartment will need to be renovated in the future.
So. that’s why this one was bigger than the first one. It’s because it hasn’t been through the renovation process yet.
It means I would have to move again in the future. It means that apartment will also be made into a smaller one.
It means I’m kinda fked. The idea of moving is so traumatic that I can’t really accept an apartment where I would have to move again in the near future.
It really sucks. I liked the seconed apartment so much more. Even if you take away the space part, the location is a lot better for me.
But I guess I’m back to square one. I will have to accept the first apartment, despite my misgivings about it.
It’s not like the downsides to that one are huge. It is still the same basic area. I will get used to the change of location. The smaller space is inevitable, all the one room apartments will be like that when renovated.
I wonder if the first apartment has those internal drapes in the thermal windows, I really loved those. I wish I had known to check for that when I saw the first one.
Sigh. I have sent email to the housing association asking for confirmation that taking the 2nd apartment would mean moving in the future. I wonder what the time frame is. All the plans for the renovations I have seen have not included renovations of that building. And those plans go forward to like 2028,29. Maybe if i could have like 5 years in that 2nd apartment and then a temporary rehoming while it’s renovated and then back to stay for good. Could I survive that?
i would rather have one move and be done with.
Ugh.
I think I will have to accept the first offer. And that would be back to October 15th as teh move date. Less time, more worry, need to get rid of more stuff. Panic panic panic.
I’m going to take today off with pizza and ice cream and soccerballs on the telly. And then I guess I have to get to work.
Waiting to hear from the housing association first. But i can’t see any other outcome, have to take the first offer and make my peace with that.
24/9 2025
—
.
Good news! Oh lord. What a time I’m having.
So. To recap. The pdf said that the 2nd offer was not renovated. I couldn’t understand that, because I thought that building was done with renovations. So, I contacted the hosuing association over email to ask. But I also messaged Helle here on Facebook. And I have to say such a huge thank you to Helle, I am so glad I originally got in touch with her, she has been such a great help and support.
She told me that she was sure that building was renovated. And she got in touch with Hanne, the rehousing consultant, and five minutes later Sarah from the housing association called me and she apologised that the pdf had had the wrong information.
The 2nd offer is renovated. It would be a permanent apartment for me.
So. Back on a, fairly, better track for me. I am going to take today to think things through. But now it seems that I’m back to my thoughts yesterday. I am going to accept the 2nd offer. The one rightn ext door. The one on the 6th floor with the magic drapes. The one that i can have from November 1st, giving me those extra couple of weeks.
Sheesh. What a rollecoaster ride. it’s been difficult days, and there are difficult days ahead. But at least these are better news.
Thank you again to Helle, and to all of you here for your support. My mind is ground to the bone, but I’m hanging in there.
24/9 2025
—
.
The day is almost over. And what a day it has been. What a two days. Honestly, must be the strangest set of days I’ve had in my life. Would have to go back to they eye destruction days to find a couple of days weirder.
First yesterday that was already looking challening enough with one apartment visitation and then suddenly with no warning a second one. That was a lot.
And then today, when it seemed like my best laid plans were torn apart. And then they were put back together again. What a rollercoaster w-hiplash.
But here I am. Unless there’s a shocking last minute development then I will tomorrow be calling the housing association and accepting the second offer. The apartment next doorish.
And all things considered, that’s pretty much the best possible outcome. Since there won’t be any ground floor one room apartments. I would always have to get on a higher loor. And getting to move to the building right next to my current one means as little change as possible.
There will still be a lot of noise from the buildings being renovated. Might even be worse, since it’s just next door. But hopefully there will be less noise from neighbours. And the sound and temperature proofing generally better.
But yes, I can’t imagine a better outcome. I didn’t think I’d get any offers at all. The potential one in March, that apartment would be finished just a week before I’d have to move in. Any little slip of the schedule and I could have had no place to go. And I’d have to live in that apartmentw hile the rest of the building was still being renovated. The only thing I would have preferred about that option is the longer wait until having to go through with it. But that’s just my avoidant self wanting to postpone the inevitable.
Trying to compartmentalize, and this compartment seems to have gone as awell as it could. I am not really able to think positively about myself, but I think i handled these two days as best i could. Almost like a regular adult human person would. I was pro-actived, faced it head-on, asked for help when needed, didn’t avoid the hard things. And hopefully have succeeded in this part.
It’s the coming parts that will be the worst. And scares me the most. The actual move. And the condition of my current apartment and the possible consequences thereof. I wish i could fastforward through it all. But the river of time flows at its own pace. And I just have to ride the waves.
So that was today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot calmer. Calling the housing assoc will not be easy, but nothing as bad as these two days.
And maybe I can then take the rest of the week off and just.. try not to think about things. And then. I would have five weeks. Just about.
I think they have to do some preparation work on the apartment before I can move in, so I probably wno’t be able to move in on November 1st exactly. May be some days after. And I have no clue how the moving itself works. Will I have access to both apartments? Do we take things out of this place and right into the new place? Does it go into storage first? I mean, I need a bed in at least one place all the time, don’t I? What aout my computer? I don’t have internet on a phone or tablet. Will I be cut off? I stress about these things.
I was talking to Helle and she mentioned something about a moving company that were more sensitive to people with special needs, I think. I am not sure if we can get that sorted out, since the housing assoc is going to pay for and arrange the move. I don’t know if we can use our own people and get the assoc to pay for it or what. When will I get boxes and start to put things in them? I still want to get rid of a bunch of stuff. And what about my book shelves I don’t want and the broken running machine. I think I want to get rid of my clothing drawers too, i just want to keep my clothes in a plastic storage box. Maybe sound crazy, but I just want as little furniture as possible. I just want the esential pieces of furniture and everything else in storage boxes. That’s my plan.
Okay, sorry this wasn’t supposed to be another long entry. I need to stop stressing now. I hope I can take the rest of the week off. Maybe give you guys a break from ramblings posts. Thank you all again so much for the support. I am truly thankful to have all the input and advice and encouragement. Thank you.
And goodnight.
24/9 2025
—
.
Okay. It done.
I have officially accepted the 2nd offer. The apartment next building over. The 6th floor one with magic drapes and an oven.
From November 1st. But they are going to do a couple of weeks of repair and prep work on it.
So I should be moving in on the 14th or 17th, Friday or Monday.
I talked to Sarah from the housing association again on the phone. She assured me I’d have access to both apartments for a couple of weeks or so, but wouldn’t have double rent. So that’s good, I was a little worried about having to be completely out one place and completely in the other place on the same day. But now I should have some time.
Still have to figre out the exact details of moving. I mentioned the moving company that Helle had talked about, sounds like it would be fine to use our own moving company and have that paid for. But I’m not sure how we’ll co-ordinate all that. We’ll see. First of i should be getting the new lease contract on mail.
I am continually terrified and trying to fight off the panic. But another step taken. I suppose that’s good.
i just hope it will all go okay. I ti will be hard, even if it goes flawlessly. With all my issues. It’s going to be terribly hard. But that’s okay, if it just works okay. If it gets done and it works. Then I can get through the hard.
I hope. Catch me 10 minutes from now when I’m screaming into the abyss that I CANT DO THIS.
Lalala. Thank you all again. I’ma have soup and iced cream today I think. Once the move is complete and things are hopefully settled, I’m going to have to get back to a health journey. Because right now i’m basically just floundering. Have barely exercised in more than a month. Not sure how much I will be up for doing it the next couple of months. At least I’m getting steps in running everywhere, and all the cold sweats must burn some calories..
Alright. I hope i can relax for the rest of the week. And the good thing is that I have a fair bit of time to deal with everything. The 1st offer would have brought more time pressure. I’m glad I was able to get the 2nd one.
Phew.
I hope.
it’ll be ok
25/9 2025
—
.
Oh, and in much less significant news, apparently Denmark is under attack by Russian drones.
So that’s fun.
I will admit, I am not sure what exactly this all means. I’m sure there’s not a Russian army marching towards our borders. But it is all a little crazy. Maybe I’ll need to find myself a cozy little bunker instead of an apartment.
So when people ask why i care about American politics. It’s because countries aren’t isolated islands, what happens one place affects other places. Especially when we’re talking about global superpowers.
But hey, what me worry?
Maybe I’ll be sitting on my tiny balcony on the 6th floor and shooting down drones with an airgun. Yehaa.
25/9 2025
—
.
The golden gate is calling.
I asked the current tenant if having a road going literally straight through the building caused any problems, noise-wise. But he said none at all.

25/9 2025
—
.
Can I just get some peace?
Sheesh.
Got up this morning and my toilet isn’t flushing again. Great.
Had to call the housing association.
Wasn’t as worried this time, since well I just did it last week.
They sent the guy over. it was 10.30 am and their guy goes home at noon. So he came right over. Last time he did some minor thing. This time he wanted to change the. .whole thing. Sorry, my knowledge of what things in a toilet are called is non existant.
Unfortunately there was some swith or whatever that was basically all crumbled, he wouldn’t be able to turn the water off before changing the thing, and that would be bad. So he had to call an actual plumber.
And that’s where i am now. 11:17 and waiting for the plumber. Since it’s the weekend and i only have the one toilet, he told them to come today. But couldn’t give me a more specific time. So now I get to wait and worry about that. But hopefully they will be able to completely fix it.
The housing assoc guy was very nice and friendly. Hopefully the plumber will be too.
in other news, I didn’t sleep too well last night. Woke up after a couple of hours and couldn’t fall asleep again, thoughts tossing and turning and worries.
I need a vacation.
I also got in touch with the housing assoc over email last night. It occured to me that if they send the lease contract over email then I wasn’t sure how that would be signed. I was worried I’d have to print it and sign it, and since I don’t have a printer that could be a problem, especially if it was something that had to be done fast. So emailed and asked about that before i went to bed.
And when i got up there was a reply explaining how I’ll be signing it digitally. So that should be okay.
And now my relaxing day is going to be a “wait for the plumber and hope that goes ok” day. Hooray.
Maybe i should check the news for drones.
26/9 2025
—
.
Things you don’t want to hear the plumber saying while he’s in your bathroom working.
“God damnit”
“fuck”
“shit”
“I don’t dare touch that”
Haha. I don’t know if this was a particularly tough job or if that was just his general way of coping with the work. He was very nice to me, and it should be all fixed. It was something about the.. valve? Something that you should normally able to turn by hand but he had to literally cut through it to replace it. Calcified or rusted or something. It’s a twenty year old toilet, so I guess it just was .. set in its ways. I wonder what that’s like.
Anyway, it took about 30 minutes to fix i think, after a few hours of waiting. And all my usual worries and avoidant mind screaming that it wants it all to go away.
Hopefully it’s all sorted now. Maybe I can have a nice quiet weekend without thinking about anything. Maybe nothing will go wrong now.
Looks like I picked the wrong year to stop sniffing glue.
Anyway, i’ma go use the bathroom cos I can. i’ll spare you the live feed.
26/9 2025
—
.
Here is some goat content, thank you for your patience.
Luna’s puppydog pose on the ramp, while Bella managed to sit up to without sliding down.

26/9 2025
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Another day draws to an end. Another day that did not go as I thought it would. Another day that brought unexpected challenges. But another day faced and conquered, more or less.
Not that today was that bad. But I just can’t relax when i know there are people coming to my place. Especially if i don’t have an exact time. If i know someone is coming later, I can’t just relax and have a normal day. I am in panic mode until it’s done.
But hey, now it’s done. And my toilet flushes. And maybe noting unexpected will happen tomorrow.
Stranger things have danced ballet in a clown costume.
26/9 2025
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It’s past noon and nothing unexpected has happened yet. How peculiar. I wonder if the abominable snowman is standing outside my windows smelling carrots.
I did get a Pepsi & Protein delivery today. Added some iced creams, just to have them in stock. They don’t have my mango flavour anymore, though. I wonder if that was like a limited summer flavour? That’s a bummer. It was my favourite. No more mango b&j’s for me I guess. I wish we had more flavours, I get jealous when I hear about all the different flavours you have around the world.
Anyhoo. Just going to try to unwind today.
Need to edit goat footage too, way behind on that. What a week it’s been.
27/9 2025
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My apologies to the premium subscribers, I know the content has been subpar lately. Here is a blooper for the reel.
27/9 2025
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Another day is almost done. Mostly benign today. Some minor hotmail niggles, but nothing compared to what has been going on the previous days.
I was going to write some stuff about the move and the plans and the new place, but I’m tired now. So I guess I will give you all a break!
Thank you all for giving me a slice of your time. Like a slice of pizza, I hope it is warm and gooey and tasty and wait wait stop, don’t think about pizza now.
Maybe tomorrow.
27/9 2025
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goatlog

28/9 2025
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Do you know how easy it would be to get melted cheese if I had an oven?
Something to think about.
28/9 2025
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Here’s a question for you all.
Do you think it would be better to move into a new apartment on a Friday or a Monday?
I will have access to both places for a period, so maybe it doesn’t even matter that much.
My thoughts are though, that Monday would be best. Then you have the week ahead of you and everything is open. If i move in Friday and there’s some problem that isn’t an emergency, I wouldn’t be able to get ahold of the housing association during the weekend. Things may be closed.
Does that make sense? Or is there some reason a Friday might be better?
Let me know if you have any thoughts. Preferably about this issue, but I mean you can share if you have other thoughts too, like what if smurfs were green instead of blue, how would that affect the continuity of their universe? Smurf if i know.
28/9 2025
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Bella and a smurf sky

28/9 2025
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The week is winding down.
And what a crazy week. Weirdest week in my life in many a year.
First off, thank you to everyone for the replies on which day would be best to move in. Seems like pretty much everyone agrees with my reasoning about Monday, so that’s probably what I’ll be going for.
But this week. Man.
I couldn’t anticipate any of this as I came home from the goats last Monday. But then the first apartment offer came in. And I had to arrange to see it on Tuesday. And then when I came home from that showing on Tuesday, the offer for the second apartment came in. And then I literally had to run straight back out to go look at that.
And then the information that it would not be a permanent apartment. And then the correction that it would in fact be permanent. And then to fop it all off the toilet broke again and i had to wait for first the super and then the plumber.
Sheesh. And that’s just the short version. You have probably all skimmed through the longer versions already!
Hopefully next week will be a lot calmer. One of the upsides of the 2nd apartment is the two extra weeks. I’m not in a big hurry now. Just need to go through this place and gather up the last stuff to get rid off. And then look at the storage room in the basement and clear that out.
And after that it’s just the actual move. Getting it arranged and packing things down, but i don’t have that much to pack. I’m glad I’m not in that much of a hurry.
Seven weeks from tomorrow. Is moving day. As it looks now.
Phew. What a smurfing week. I feel like I’m blue in the face. But so far I guess I’m coping. Thank you all for having my back. And other parts.
Time to sleep.
28/9 2025
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That’s all for now.