Okay. I am heading to bed. It’s kind of a weird time for me right now. I wonder if I have brain damage. Like, mild. Some people would claim that it wouldn’t make a difference. But to those people I say “who are you and how did you get in my computer?!”. I don’t know. Physically I feel like I’m slowly getting better. It’s really disconcerting to be looking at stuff on my computer and not really remember how I usually do things. The routines that are usually just second nature. Now I feel like I have to relearn them.
Hope you’re all doing okay out there. And hope I can find my way back to my old self, somewhat. The weather is going to cool down in Denmark now, so if it was a heat stroke or something maybe that’ll help.
Thanks for bearing with me. It is comforting to know there are people who care. Love you guys. See yall tomorrow.
29/6 2020
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Hello Facebook. Here I am again. How am I doing? Slightly better. I feel like at least the physical side of things is getting slowly better. But my muscles are still aching in places and there’s still some flossing at the side of my tongue and there’s still a bit of a dazed mental state. So I don’t know.
I as contemplating heading out to see the goats tomorrow to see if that would jolt me back to normal. But the weather forecast says cold and rainy tomorrow. So I’ll have to consider my options. Hey, maybe being out in the rain would hydrate me!
Last night I dreamt that I was David Lynch’s assistant. So yeah that tracks. Everything is weird.
One day at a time I spose.
29/6 2020
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My dad just popped over for a visit. He says it was something we had agreed on, but I don’t remember that… still in my current condition that’d hardly be surprising. It was was nice to see him anyway. He seems to be doing well. Recovering well. Heck he might be feeling better than me right now. I had been toying with the idea of heading out to see the goats tomorrow, but after struggling to be present in the moment while my dad was here I think it may be a little too soon. I’ll probably wait a couple of days more before I go out. I don’t want to go out and then just shut down completely or getting lost.
I’m missing the goats, though. My whole life more or less revolves around them so it’s weird to just… sit around and hurt. Oh well. As long as things are improving, we’ll get there.
29/6 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day, with bonus grandma since we missed Mio Monday yesterday. I’ll try to get back to some goat posting. Hope you’re all doing okay out there. I am still just trying to get back to some kind of normal.

30/6 2020
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Don’t forget to subscribe to me on TikTok, on which I post 10 second videos of me trying to figure out what a TikTok is.
30/6 2020
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Hi. It’s me, your friendly local something or other.
How am I doing?
I don’t… know. I had been tentatively planning to maybe go see the goats today. I wanted to do my thing of sleeping for a really long time. Dream big, then go see goats. But. I only slept for about a couple of hours probably. And then a long time of drifting in and out of sleep.
This happened to me recently you might recall. I was despairing because I couldn’t sleep through hte night. Never more than an hour or two at a time. Am I back to that now?!
I don’t.. know.
I went back and looked at old blog enries, and yeah the tongue thing happened too back when I hurt my back. It’s all such a messy timeline now.. I first hurt my rib. Then when that was getting better, one night I woke up with excruciating back pain. So bad I couldn’t move. That night my tongue was all swollen and bruised. I can only speculate it’s from gnawing my tongue in my sleep because of pain.
Well back then, it was in April right, the pain got better. And eventually I started sleeping better again too. My back was still bad, but only when I exerted it. Only on the long walks to and from the goats. That’s why I got the bus pass. I had started walking back from the gaots again last week, despite it still hurting somewhat. I was starting trying to lose more weight again and my thinking was that even if the walks home were hard on my back, the exercise was good for my weight loss project. And the pain had goten manageable. But maybe that was my mistake? I only just thought of this possibility now and I don’t know if there’s any chane of it being rue. Maybe walking home put my back out again and that’s why I slept through all of.. thursday was it and why I woke up completely borked and with a messed up tongue. Maybe?! So maybe now I have to go through some time of not sleepign properly again? My back isn’t really hurting more than usual though. My muscles in my whole body were feeling like they’d been overused.. but that’s started to get better. In fact I did today go out and go shopping. I wasn’t feelign good enough to go goating, but good enough to go down the shopping mall around the corner. It went …ok.
But I’m still not all there in my head. It’s like I need to relearn things. I have a lot of routines and shortcuts, things I do to help because of my bad vision and other problems. And all that stuff that I had learned to do by second nature, now I have to think about it again.
I’t so.. fuckign weird. And i don’t know if it’s something I’m going to recover from. Or if I’m like literally ..brain damaged. Or demented. Or just. Dazed. Argh. Obviously not being able to sleep through for more than a couple of hours does not help my mental state. Am I going to get better or is this my descent into madness?
I haven’t seen the goats since last Wednesday. There’s a part of me that worries I won’t be able to handle seeing them anymore. That I’m no longer functioning correctly. But maybe I’ll try going out to see them. Maybe it will help clear my head.
I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know. I’m sorry for rambling on. Not that anyoune is still reading. You shouldn’t. I am not sure I’m going to be a lot of fun on here anymore? Maybe I’m permanently broken. Or maybe I acn work my way back. Or maybe I don’t know what I don’t know what I don’t know. Dreams are overlapping reality in my head right now, it’s all blending together.
Sorry I’m all over the place. I’m not sure if I’m going to be ok really. Itll probably take some time. Hope you’re all doing ok. Sorry I’m missing stuff. right now I’m barely there.
1/7 2020
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Thanks everyone for all the comments and concern. Just had a call with my dad too (he’s doing ok, hah maybe better than me right now).
I know I oughta go to the doctor right away, but all the phobias and anxieties make that hard too. I’m going to be taking a day or two to see how it goes. I don’t feel in immediate physical danger. I wonder if i’m in for a period again with only being able to sleep for an hour or two at a time.. that stuff is really hard on the mind.
I think my days of having a ‘flexible’ sleep schedule may be over. I think I’ll have to actually try to be responsible and sleep at night and be up during the day. That is, if I ever get proper sleep again at all.
I’m going to force myself to go to sleep at a proper time tonight. And then I guess I’ll see. If I can sleep normally or not. I’d like to go see the goats tomorrow. But I’m not sure I’ll be ready for that. There’s even a part of me, a small tiny part, that started thinking that maybe my goat days are over. Maybe I don’t have the physical and mental capacity for it anymore…. but then I can’t imagine myself without goats. What would I post about on Facebook?!?
Hah. Sorry rambling. I am in a sleep deprived states and dreams and reality are blurring. Yall know dreams have always been an important part of my life. There’s a crazy part of me that almost likes this state of awareness, because it makes the reams SO close, so real. Even sitting here I feel like I can almost just close my eyes and just step into another world, another dimension. When your sleep gets cut off before the brain processes all it needs to process then the dreamstate is right there. Palpabale.
So anyway. I AM feeling better physically. The muscles. And I beat the sleep problem once already recently. It will probably be alright. I’m just rambling to process the thoughts. Don’t worry too much. If it doesn’t get better I’ll have to seriously consider the doctor. But I feel like I’m physically improving and the rest will follow.
Love you all. Thanks for caring. Happy Canada day and birthdays hope you’re all doing ok. If you see me in a dream, it’s probably me.
1/7 2020
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Okay, I’m going to start shutting down for today and seeing if I can sleep… wish me luck!
I think I’m going to make an effort to try to change my sleep schedule to a more conventional one. I’ve been used to sitting up all night. Basically staying up for a long stretch and then sleeping for a long stretch. STaying up because I’m a night owl and sleeping long stretches because it gave me great dreams. But now that I am again having problems with the sleeping I guess I have to face that maybe I need to be reponsible. And sleep at night and be up at day and hopefully that will work better for me now…
That may lead to some changes in my fb presence.. since I’m on Danish time. If I actually keep a proper sleep schedule I may be less present during my friends’ hours, since a lot of you are Americans or other faroff parts.
Well we’ll see. Right now I just need to get my head straight and get sleep and get actually present in my actual life. Earlier when grabbing something to eat I had to stop and think about where I keep the ketchup. The ketchup that I use almost every day. Cheese on bread with cucumber and a splash of ketchup. I can live off that. But I had to check a couple of cupboards to find the ketchup. I knew where it was. It was just like the mental pathway to it was obscured.
hurting less at least. I had the sleep problem what a month ago or so and it fixed itself. Hopefully this will too. Hopefully I’m almost ready to goat again.
Thank you everyone who is caring and supportive and checking in and everything. I truly appreciate it. Sorry I’m hardheaded about listening to advice etc. If I don’t get better there’ll be a doctor’s visit coming up I’m sure. One day at a time. And now a night. Hooves crossed for sleep.
1/7 2020
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Hello world. Here I am again. So, how did it go last night? Well, I definitely didn’t sleep the whole night straight through. It took me a while to fall asleep and I woke up a couple of tiems at least, I think. But I’m not sure if that was the sleep disorderly kind of ‘can only sleep for 2 hours at a time’. Or if it was just because of the change in schedule, going to bed so early. I figure it will take some adjustment to carry actual sane sleeping hours. And I have to say, I do actually feel a bit more clear-headed this morning. Little less foggy, little more myself. And my body feels a bit stronger too. So hey ho, let’s count our blessings and call it a good first step. I’ll try to hang on to a proper sleep schedule and hope that it takes and helps me have a healthy rhythm.
Still a ways to go, but it’s better to feel better than to feel worse. See, totally clear head! Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions and love. I appreciate that there are people who care about me, when I’m not always good at caring about myself.
Iced cream for lunch? That’s a fair point.
2/7 2020
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Currently editing goat footage from last week, before the meltdown. Now posting goat photo. See, i’m getting my life back on track!
Well, we can hope.
And I hope you’re all doing okay out there. I know it’s a crazy time. On many levels. Like having a world leader recommend less testing so we don’t know how big the pandemic is. That’s almost as dumb as not going to the doctor when you oh wait nevermind!
Hang in there world, hang in there me, hang in there you all everybuddies.

2/7 2020
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Alrightey then. 10 pm, I’m heading to bed. Responsibly early.
Not necessarily planning to go to bed this early every day from now on. But I’ll try to get adjusted to a more healthy sleep schedule. We’ll see. In general I feel like my body and mind is doing better and better, if not yet back to normal. So hey, one day at a time. And this one’s done for now.
See you on the flipside, facebox.
2/7 2020
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Good goat times today. Yes, I made it out of bed in the morning and off to goat town. So good to be back. Hadn’t been there since Wednesday last week. Way too long to be away. It was a bit of a struggle to get up, though. There was a part of me that wanted to stay in bed. And just wait until next week with the goating. But I mean, I can’t leave my goat pals behind. I feel like I’m abandoning them when I stay away so long, even if it’s due to health issues.
How’s the health? Well, I didn’t sleep completely through the night. Still not sure ifi t’s the sleep problem or if it’s just adjusting to a new schedule. I’ve never been good at getting out of bed in the morning…
Other than that, the he head still clearer but not completely clear, the body still stronger but not completely fit. Good enough for force myself to get out but still lots of room for improvement. Now of course the big question is, how will I feel in the morning? Last Wednesday I felt fine after the goating too. And then I ended up in bed for 30 hours and being completely wrecked. I am still not sure if that long sleep was a symptom or cause. But I will make sure to actually set the alarm tomorrow so I don’t accidentally sleep forever again. It’s considerably cooler today, hasn’t even reachd 20C/70F. Maybe the heat was part of the cause last time.
I don’t know, man. We’ll see how it goes. I am tired and my back is hurting, but it’s not too bad. Let’s hope it’ll be ok.
The trip went well. A little wobbly on my legs and I only lasted an hour and a half or so before I started feeling a little dazed. But it was just good to be there. And a relief to see everyone ok. It’s always a little scary to be away… That first headcount when you come back is always a little chilling. Let’s hope everyone will stay in good health.
Me included, I guess. Your perspective changes a bit when stuff like this happens. All the things you were so caught up in seem insignificant. I don’t really want anything. Just no alarms and no surprises.
At least I haven’t lost my talent for blathering on endlessly about nothing.
3/7 2020
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Back where I belong, with whomst to which I belongst. Wait, words are hard.

3/7 2020
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Thanks for saving my spot, kids

3/7 2020
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tldr just rambling about dementia and health, nothing important or interesting.
Someone, sorry can’t remember who, said the other day that since my mind was clearing up it didn’t sound like I had dementia. I hadn’t even thought in that direction, but now that I think about it. That feeling I had a few days ago. I could inagine that being how dementia feels in the beginning. Lack of clarity, lack of self. Feeling of displacement. And things feeling out of reach, mentally. You arrange your life and your stuff and your habits and then suddenly.. you feel like a stranger in your life. I could well imagine that. It’s kind of a scary feeling. Having to think about how to do the things that you’re used to just doing. Like when you forget the name of a celeb. You can picture the face but you can’t put the name to it. Knowing the knowledge is there but not being able to connect the dots. An awful feeling. And I can only imagine how completely devastating it must be when you sink into that completely. I’d rather die, much rather die.
So hey let’s hope it’s nothing like that, that’s going on with me!
My best guess is still dehydation I think. I was out out in the heat with the goats and walked home and then I’m thinking I was knocked out by the heat so I was practically knocked out for 30 hours which dehydrated all my muscles, and my brain I guess?
It’s been a rough year since around April when I hurt my rib. Then my back. Then the sleep disorder. Now this. I don’t know how much of it is connected, all of it or nothing. Like was the back thing a contiunation of the rib thing or were they completely seperate.
Let’s hope I can get the new sleep schedule working. And then just.. keep on keeping on. Like I said earlier, no great ambitions. Just want a quiet life and no surprise. I have no ambition left, I just want to get through the days. If I can make some people happy with the goat postings then that’d be swell and a good purpose. I don’t want to be rich or famous or succesful, I just want to hang out with goats and shoot the sheev on social media. If I can just feel ok then I’ll be ok.
Sorry. Just had to get that off my chest and foggy brain.
3/7 2020
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Rather have another goat photo on top of the timelien than the boring dementia ramble. This is what keeps me (somewhat) sane, allegedly.

3/7 2020
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Alrightey. I’m going to head to bed. In an effort to get adjusted to the new sleep schedule. Wokr in progrees. But I’l lbe happy as long as I don’t wake up feeling horrible again. Hooves crossed. See you on the other side.
3/7 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy 4th of July to my American friends. Here’s a salute from Peanut, the independence goat.
How am I doing? …ok. I didn’t sleep perfectly through. Only feel like I caught up on the sleep I needed in the last couple of hours, and just barely. But … I’m not feeling worse. My body and mind isn’t feeling broken after the goating yesterday. So.. that’s good. One day at a time.

4/7 2020
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My dad just popped over for a quick visit. Seems like he’s doing very well. Recovering as planned from they surgery. He told me that he’d had a test of balance and strength and the results had been very impressive. The surgery scars are still healing, but the stuff that they were fixing seems to have been succesfully fixed, and his general demeanor seems very fresh and alert, which is good to see.
I’m feeling fairly fresh and clear as well, just tired. But if I can get used to a proper day rhythm that’d be good. Get back to regular exercising and goating, that’d be good enough for me.
4/7 2020
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I love the sight of flapping ears bounding towards me

4/7 2020
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Hokkaido. I am tuning out for tonight. Once again, being good and going to bed early. Hoping the rhythm will catch up with me.
Stay safe out there, enjoy your 4th if that’s a thing where you are. See you tmoro
4/7 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

5/7 2020
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Once again, you didn’t use enough fireworks to blow up the planet. DISAPPOINTED.
Also, Kanye not.
5/7 2020
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goat your nose

5/7 2020
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Sassy and Nuller. And the lurking Mia.

5/7 2020
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That’s all for now.

zzzzz

22/6 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

22/6 2020
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Good goat times today. A warm day. Not scorching. But it was pretty humid. I got soaked on a couple of times while pulling down branches for the goats. Must have rained overnight. The humidity made it feel more uncomfortable than the hotter days, but there was a fresh breeze so it wasn’t too bad.
Nothing too exciting today. We did a little running around, got some branches and treats and sat around in the field and enjoyed the warm weather. Had some sweet kids visiting at the fence and they got to pet the goats. They loved Sky, because she’s so little. When they left they said loud goodbyes to the goats and then the man who was with them said “And have a good day, young man”. Haha. I think I may have been older than him. But I look 17, so I can’t blame him. It’s nice when they say hi to me. Some people just talk to the goats. And I mean, that’s fine. I’m socially inept and can’t talk to humans. So I can’t blame them if they just talk to the goats. That’s easier on me. But it’s nice when they at least say goodbye to me too when they leave. It’s nice when I get to feel like i’ve helped give them a good experience with the goats.
22/6 2020
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I could have sworn I picked a clean shirt this morning..

22/6 2020
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Said one of the little kids upon encountering the goats: A MAH GAHD.
Said exactly like that. Pretty cute.
(There were several of the kids saying ‘oh my god’ but this kid was kicking it up a notch. I think he’s got a future on the big screen)
22/6 2020
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Field tripping

22/6 2020
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Dad just popped over for a quick visit, for the first time since the surgery. He seems to be doing very well. Sounds and looks good. He’s still got some pain related to the actual surgery stuff, which is to be expected. Hopefully that’ll wear off as he recovers. But the stuff he was operated for, the pains in hip and leg seems to be gone. In fact he sounds a little surprised at how well it has worked already. So when the recovery is done he should be better than new. Which is really good to hear.
22/6 2020
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It’s the Lily & Lasse Show.

22/6 2020
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Rest in peace Joel Schumacher. Not going to say I was a giant fan of his, but what a fascinating back catalogue. And hey, I kinda like campy Batman. More than the current dark dcu. Better to have personality.
22/6 2020
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi daY everyone.

23/6 2020
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Engage antigrav mode. Take to the Sky.

23/6 2020
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Just realised that bees and unicorns are the complete opposites. One has a horn on its head, the other has one on its butt.
Pretty much. don’t fact check me.
23/6 2020
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Love you, bae

23/6 2020
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Ooh, uncle’s backpack. Can we get it? Can we get it? Ah, whatever. Let’s just sit here and wait until he gives us treats.

24/6 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

24/6 2020
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Good goat times today. It was a hot one. 25C/77F. Real summer. Panting goats, and panting uncle. Good exercise, good treats, good drinking, good relaxing in the shade. Several groups of kids visiting too. Hanging aroudn at the fence, giving greens to the goats. One little kid was singing Baby Shark. I prefer Baby Goat myself, but still cute. The kids were feeding the goats through the fence, but they were pretty much feeding them one straw of tall grass at a time. Takes forever to fill a goat belly like that. But hey, it’s something to do. Fun for the kids and the goats. And real summery now.
24/6 2020
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Hey kids, feeeed us.

24/6 2020
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If you give us some greens we’ll forgive you for singing Baby Shark at us, kid.

24/6 2020
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Goatnight from the goofs.

24/6 2020
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Oh hello world. Did you miss me? I’m not sure what happened. I feel pretty bad. I feel like I have been run over by a truck. Every muscle in my body hurts. And my tongue is weird. It’s like frayed at the sides. Maybe I’ve been chewing on it because of the pain? I don’t know. I feel like the tongue thing has happeend before, but I can’t remember how or when. Oh well. I pretty much slept for 24 hours. I’m not feeling a cold or fever, so hopefully it’s not the coroner.
I feel weird though. Like I have been torn out of my life. All the little details that I used to just do without thinking about them, now I have to stop and remember what to do. I feel like I’ve been gone a thousand years.
At least I managed to get out of bed now.
26/6 2020
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Oh boy. I feel pretty weird. It’s not just that my whole body is hurting and my tongue is weird. It’s also mental. I feel.. like my brain has been taken. I feel seperated. I can’t remember.. thing. Someone suggested I go see the goats and I started thinking.. how do I go to the goats. Where do I take the bus? I literally can’t remember. Stuff on the computer. I have a lot of things set up, automated processes. And now i’m sitting here thinking how do I do this? How do I do that? It’s a really weird feeling. I feel like I have been gone a 100 years anda forgotten everything. It’s been some hot days in Denmark, maybe my brain is dehydrated. I don’t know. Well, I hope it’ll all come back to me.
Maybe I need to be put in a home. Or an early grave. Bury me in a pizza box.
26/6 2020
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Well it’s 11 pm. I’m going to start heading to bed again. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling fresh. Or maybe I’ll be braindead. I really feel pretty out of it right now. I wish I had some iced creams. Someone please bring me iced creams. I need isvafler.
Well. See you tomorrow. If I get up. Thanks for all the concern and advice. I appreciate it.
26/6 2020
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Hello world. Here I am again. How am I doing? A little better. But not great. All my muscles still ache. My tongue is weird. But the dead parts have started peeling off which is gross but helpful. Mentally I’m still in a bit of a weird place. I feel displaced. I feel like I have been placed in someone elses body. Like I have to relearn everything. I feel almost like I’ve been hit on the head, slightly dazed and confused. Maybe I had a heat stroke. I don’t know. No fever or real coughing as fas as I acn tell. Thanks all for the concern. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Relatively speaking. Gonna give it a couple of days to at least let my body feel better.
We’ll see.
Also, I have an overpowering desire to watch the tv show Dark Angel. I’m not sure what that’s all about. Longing for the apocalypse.
27/6 2020
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I am heading to bed now. My body is feeling a little better, but still hurting. And I still feel… displaced. Like I don’t know how to be myself and I have to relearn everything. It is extremely weird and disconcerting.
Well, we’ll see what happenes. Hopefully the pain fade. Will I regain clarity? Or am I going to have to relearn my whole life? Who knows.
Thanks everyone for the comfort and advice and all. Sorry if I’m missing stuff right now. Just trying to find my way back to my own life.
See you tomorrow, presumably.
27/6 2020
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Hi world. I am back. How am I doing? A little better. Not great. My muscles still hurt. Especially my legs. My tongue is still a little flossed. And I still feel a brain fog, a displacement. I wonder if it’s ever going to go away or this is just the new normal…
Normally I’d be getting ready to go see the goats tomorrow, but I don’t think I’ll be ready for that. I’ll have to take a litlte break.I feel a bit like I have been torn out of my life. Oh well. Nothing to do but keep going and try to get better. Hope you’re all doing well out there. I’m totally out of all the loops.
28/6 2020
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That’s all for now.