Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

23/3 2020
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Good goat times today. Made it out, despite the ghosts of depression telling me to go to bed and sleep for 30 hours. Luckily I listened to the goats instead of the ghosts.
Lovely day. Cold, but sunny. Still not allowed to take the goats out of the pen (Our PM just prolonged the current measures till April 13th, so no chance until then). There were signs up at the pen saying not to pet the goats because the virus can be transmitted via their fur. I am not sure if that is factually correct or not. Ophelia was there right when I arrived and she didn’t comment on me petting the goats. I guess they’rte just covering their bases, better safe than sorry etc. It’s not like I could NOT pet the goats anyway. Could you imagine? Being with goats and not petting them. That would be like ordering a pizza and then putting it on the table and sitting there and having a conversation with it instead of eating it. And anyway, eouldn’t help if I didn’t pet them because they crawl all over me anyway.
There’s some good news, though. The mud dried up! Almos completely gone. I guess the sun did its job. Boy howdy, if you’re going to be stuck in a pen it sure is nicer to be able to walk around without sinking into the ground.
Lovely fun with the goats. We still get visitors, they just can’t be in groups of more than 10. Usually it’s a couple of adults, parents or grandparents, with a couple of kids. So that’s fine.
And then I met Ophelia again on my way home. I was walking along the highway and then I heard a “hey Lasse” from behind me. There she was on her bike. Probably 25-30 minutes after we’d said goodbye at the playground. Her shift had ended and she was off to take care of another horse, I’m not sure if she owns it or just takes care of it. But that was kinda funny. She seemed surprised. “You walked all this way?”.. I can only hope she was impressed by my… walking skills. I may have zero social skills and look like a pot of potatoe that were left boiling on the stove for hours. But I sure can walk for an hour back and forth to visit goats! How I manage to stay single is beyond me, it really is.
More stuff to tell, but this has gone on far too long enough.
23/3 2020
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Goat butt parade. Somewhat.

23/3 2020
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Mia and the littles at the gate. They were a little confused. “Why are you not letting us out?”
In fact, Lily managed to slip out of the gate when I walked in. Good thing Ophelia was there to catch her adn get her back in the pen, otherwise she would have ran for the (green) hills).
Yeah, Ophelia and I make a good team.
Shut up.

23/3 2020
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Ophelia told me that there were some branches that had been left behind by the people who were trimming trees last week. She suggested the goats might like them. And as the dedicated teammate I am, I went for 4-5 roundtrips, dragging big heavy branches back to the pen. Something for the goats to explore and nibble on. Commence debarking.

23/3 2020
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So. I’m pretty sure Nuller broke my rib.
Okay, see you guys tomorrow.
Oh, maybe I should expand upon the above.
It’s true though. Well, not broke. Bruised I guess. You know I’ve been through this before. This is like the 4th time I believe. I think I have brittle bones.
The famous one is when I was running with Palle and filming and I fell and the video of me groaning in pain is still one of the most watched videos on Mia’s page. Haha.
Well, so what happened? I have some back issues. I get back aches especially sometimes on the long walks home from the playground. So I like to stretch out my back before I go. And I found that if I lie down on the ground, on my back, with my upper body on the goat platforms and my lower body on the ground. Then it just hits the spot and it makes my back feel a lot better. So I was doing that. Lying on my back. And of course, Nuller loves to jump on me. Everywhich way he can. He’s done it before while I’ve been laying down. But usually he just jumps on my belly. Giant fatty blob. No problem. Today he stepped right down onto my chest. And I heard that kind of cracking sound and felt a rib give in. Ouch. It’s not as bad as the previous times, though. It felt like it was just the tip of one rib. But just the tip is enough, boys and girls.
Sure enough, it’s already hurting when I move in certain ways. And cough. Oh that’s great. A great time to hurt when you cough. I’m going to have myself convinced that I have the virus.
Anyway. It’s not too horrible now, when I don’t cough or move. We’ll see how it feels tomorrow. It’s always worse the next day… and I know from experience, it’ll be 3-6 weeks until it’s healed. Sigh. Hopefully it won’t be so bad that I have to stay home. I don’t think so. But hey that’s one way to get people to quarantine themselves. Break their forking ribs.
Can’t be mad at Nuller of course. i’m the one who trained him to jump all over me. You live life on the edge when you’re goatherding lumberjack.
Send soup.
23/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

24/3 2020
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How am I doing? I’m alright. But hurting. Definitely got that brokencrackedbruisedpressed rib. Gotta avoid coughing sneezing hiccuping at all costs. Sigh. I might actually need to take a little break from the goats. We’ll see how it progresses. If painkillers can help some.
It’s fine as long as I sit here. And even when it hurts it’s not really that bad. I could live with that. It’s more at night that it sucks. I like to lie in bed for a long time and dream. And I’ll drift in and out of sleep and dreams. And turn. I can’t do that much now. I have to absolutely still. And that sucks. It makes lying in bed much less fun.
It’s just kinda tiring to know that now I’ll have to go around like this for 3-6 weekns. In a pandemic. I wish I could timeskip ahead to summer. Assuming there’s still a world by then.
I’ll be fine. But yes, I will whine and moan about it endlessly. It’s kinda my thing.
24/3 2020
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Thank you so much CarolAnn Ellis for the lovely birthday card! Don’t worry about it being late, I am just happy you thought of me. Thank you kindly!

24/3 2020
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Here’s the little terrorist. Nuller The Savage Beast. The Bonecrusher. Bow before his might, humanity!

24/3 2020
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Thanks Facebook, for giving me notifications that people are adding to their stories. When I can’t see stories.
Also, thank you Facebook for forcing Pages to use the creator studio now instead of the super easy way it used to work when you could just upload straight from the timeline. I can’t wai till you force me onto your new design, which will surely be perfect and super and everything will be fine did I mention I love having a broken rib and the pandemic is totes hilarish. Everything is fine, daydrinking is not a problem.
24/3 2020
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Here we see Lily protecting me from the horrible monster lurking behind us with murder in his eyes.

24/3 2020
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This is me resisting writing a post about Trump, the virus, and America wanting to start reopening stuff.
https://i0.wp.com/www.supermanhomepage.com/clickandbuilds/SupermanHomepage/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/ShirtRip.jpg?ssl=1
25/3 2020
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“Fuck the elderly, sick and poor. Homey’s gotta get paid. Kaching!”
– Jesus of Nazareth.
People often forget the 11th commandment. “Thou shalt not give a fuck about those in need unless they can pay the hospital bill up front”.
Let the meek inherit the earth. You know, the dirt and pebbles and mud. While the rich can inherit the silver spoons their parents were born with.
25/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

25/3 2020
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It must be nice being Trump. Just go out and say “We are now the nation in the world who does the most testing” and 50% of thecountry will just believe him even though it’s factually wrong. A month ago he said there’d soon be zero cases and now everything is on fire and people are saying to just let the old people die off to save the economy, and still 50ish% think he’s handling the coronacrisis well. Sean Hannity can go on tv and say the coronavirus is not a big deal and then a motnh later he can say Fox News always took it seriously. It must be nice when your voters and viewers have the memory of a goldfish. Fishsticks fort he sharks,
Grurgh, I also wish I could just shut up about this.
25/3 2020
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At least the sun is shining. Chill.

25/3 2020
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So now we’re having the pandemic. I wonder if we’re going to get like an alien invasion too. I was watching a video about the new Half-Life Alyx game (wish I coulds till play games) and it reminded me of the whole Combine and 7 Hour War thing. Or how about a godzilla thing? Old Ones? What if we’re entering into an age where all the scary shit from movies and games will come true. What if Blade Runner? Alien? The Road. The Walking Dead. Look, i’m not trying to be alarmist or anything but what if we’re all doomed and there’s no hope?!
Alien invasion would be kinda cool. Screw sacrificing your life for hte economy, I’d sacrifice my life to get to experience alien invasion.
25/3 2020
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just hope there will be a premium goat content industry bailout.
25/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

26/3 2020
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You know what’s great? Liquids. I love drinking. Not alcohol. I have barely drank alcohol in my life. Coffee either. Bit of tea. Mostly carbonated drinks or lemonade or just plain water. Drinking is great.
If this lockdown goes on I may have to start hiring writers, content is wearing thin.
I love ice in my drinks. Isn’t if funny that the ice is actually also liquids, it’s just like you know, frozen. It’s like some of the liquid is liquid but some of the liquid is frozen. Wow.
26/3 2020
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Sky devours.

26/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe from 2006.

27/3 2020
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It’s been a couple of lovely, sunny days in Denmark. Temperatures around or above 10C/50F. I was hoping to spend at least one of those days iwth the goats. Especially since the forecast for next week says cloudy and lower temperatures. But I have just been bothered too much by my ribs. It’s not that I’m unbearable pain. it’s just hard to get comfortable. And the thought of long walks along the highway and being mauled by the goats. It wouldn’t be pleasant. I’ll rest up for the weekend and hopefully I can go next week.
Hope everyone is doing alright out there. Stay solid. Or liquid. Or both.
27/3 2020
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If they make Craigy the new Doctor I’ll start watching Dr Who

27/3 2020
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“allowing power plants, factories and other facilities to determine for themselves if they are able to meet legal requirements on reporting air and water pollution”
–
Cool. Since only the strong will survive the pandemic, they’ll be ideally suited to live in a polluted, dying Earth. Everything is fine.
Next how about due to the pandemic we ease the lawas pohibiting grabbing women by the pussies, fucking your own daughters, manipulating the stock market and shooting people on 5th avenue.
link: epa article
27/3 2020
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*jaws theme*

27/3 2020
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Liver er langt, lykken er kort

27/3 2020
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Tody will be a good day. Heres’ Bruce and Clark from 2015.

28/3 2020
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There’s nothing scarier than feeling a sneeze coming on when you have a bruised rib.
28/3 2020
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Ugh. Watching old episodes of The Soup from 2009. And they’re showing clips from Celebrity Apprentice. There’s just no avoiding the orange menace. At least they’re mocking him. Forget Biden or Berne, I want to see McHale debate him.
28/3 2020
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Branch work

28/3 2020
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Got dat sass

28/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

29/3 2020
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Sometimes it feels like dreams are memories of lives in alternate timelines. Walking between worlds.
29/3 2020
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We set the clock ahead last night in Denmark. Unfortunately only one hour, I was hopging for 3-4 weeks. Alas.
29/3 2020
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I know this is of interest to literally no one at all, but I still have to post it to have it on my wall. One of the greatest moments of my life, when Dan Eggen goes up and heads the ball in the back of the net. My beloved Brøndby sending Liverpool out of the UEFA Cup.
God. Like everything else, football was so much better in the 90s. Those seasons in the mid90s were so amazing and it will never be teh same again. Not just because Brøndby has fallen behind others in strength. But football isn’t the same. It’s shit now, there’s no beauty. It’s just about physical dominance. And gambling. People care more about getting good odds on who’ll get the first corner than about the actual game. And I could go on and on.
But this. Beating Liverpook on Anfield. *kisses fingertips*

29/3 2020
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For those who don’t like football, there’s goats.

29/3 2020
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Thank you everyone. I’m glad you goat my back.

29/3 2020
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.
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That’s all for now.

Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

16/3 2020
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Good goat times today. I was a little afeared of what I may find. Today the full effect of the shurdowns began. I’m not sure how many people know it, but the playground where the goats live is a government institution. And open playground, lots of afterschool stuff for kids etc. And all that would have to be shut down now. I knew they’d have to feed the animals of course, but I was a little concerned that maybe they’d just feed the animals and leave them inside all day. So I was relieved when i got there and found the goaties out in the pen, bleating their greetings for me. Phew.
I took them out of the pen and we started walking around. There were a few visitors. Maybe like 8-10 in all. Which is probably more than most days really. People have free time now annd the playground isn’t a crowded place. Anyway, We’d been in the greens for about 20 minutes when Ophelia came out to talk to me. She had a pretty serious tone. She told me that I couldn’t have the goats out of the pen right now. “I’m sure you’v heard of the coronavirus thing”. Yeah little bit. She thanked me for being understanding. Sounded almost like she was worried I’d get angry. Nah, I understand. I think it’s mostly because they’re completely understaffed now. She said that her and Alice were altenrating shifts. And with almost no personel around I guess they can’t really risk situations with the animals or stuff like that.
So, I had to get the goats back in the pen. The goats were not amused. Noemally when I take them in I just have to starrt walking back ot the pen and they’ll come running with me. But 20 minutes in the greens? Nope, that’s not enough. So the visitors got a little circus act as I tried herding them back. I can’t help laughing at Mia and how she just sits herself down on the ground when I try to drag her by the collar. “Good luck lifting ME”. She’s pretty smart. First she’ll just drop down on her front legs. If I try to drag her she’ll sit down completely. Like trying to budge a freight train.
But I got them back eventually. I’ll miss taking them out for walks in the greens, but I’m still allowed to go in the pen and be with them, so that’s fine. Just glad they”re still taken care of.
16/3 2020
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Goat butt parade. It may be the last one in a while. They don’t line up like that very often when we’re stuck in the pen.

16/3 2020
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Leftover birthday soup, yay or nay? It’s an ethical dilemma, so we better ask the expert.

16/3 2020
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I’d say it was cabin fever from being locked in the pen, but we’d only been back in the pen for like 15 minutes before Mia and Sassy started going nuts. Sniffing each other, wagging tails, jumping, grunting. Sheesh, get a room. At least they keep me laughing, silly goats.

16/3 2020
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Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. It is always nice to know that people care. You keep forcing me to care about myself, thank you for that.
16/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

17/3 2020
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What colour facemask goes with a tuxedo?
Trying to find some good formal wear. The queen is addressing the nation toight. I believe that is the first time that has ever happened, outside of her yearly christmas address.
I wonder if she found a cure?
The Prime Minister is addressing the nation beforehand too. I wonder if they’re going to tighten things even further…
I’m gonna go drown my worries in a pot of soup.
17/3 2020
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Thank you so much Angeline Slaats for the lovely card and message! It always makes me happy happy to think of you taking care of all those animals. Wish more people did that sort of thing!

17/3 2020
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Happy St Patrick’s Day

17/3 2020
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Oh yeah, remember I mentioned something serious was going on but I wasn’t ready to discuss it? Well, maybe that was a good thing because now I have good news about it. So there was no need to worry you all.
Well, it was about my dad. As you may recall he’s been having problems with his hips. And he went in for an examination for it. And they did find some problem, I forget exactly what it was. Something dislocated maybe that had exposed a nerve. Which is what was causing the pain he’s been having. Which is bad enough, of course. But they also found an increase in the adrenal glands. And it seemed pretty sure it had to be cancer. He’s had a scare with that before. He was pretty sure he’d be called in for surgery asap, it was something that needed to be done right away even with the shutdowns.
But, upon further examination and some bloodwork I think, it was determined that it was not cancer after all. So that’s a huge relief, naturally. It was kind of hanging over our heads on my birthday dinner on Sunday. He still has to have the hip thing fixed and I still worry about his health. But I am thankful for this at least. Everything seems scary right now.
17/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

18/3 2020
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Well, I think I know why I’ve been hearing so much noise from my neighbours. At least accounts for some of it. They’ve moved out. I’m getting new neighbours. And there are handymen walking around in there working on stuff. I’m not sure if it’s just normal maintennance after a renter moves out. But it seems like they have been working for a while and with saws and hammers and whatnot. There’s a lot of renovation work going on in my neighbourhood, so it may be that the rental org is taking the chance to renovate the apartment.
Hope my new neighbours are nice. And don’t mind the bleating of my goat video editing.
18/3 2020
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Time to cook up the last batch of the birthday soup. Sniffle. It’s always a solemn occasion.
I wonder if I can get mom to make another potful. I mean. I’m quarantined. I need to stay home and.. eat soup.. for .. health reasons.
What if soup is the only reason I haven’t succumbed to the diease, ARE YOU WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE?!
18/3 2020
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German Big Brother contestants being told about the coronavirus. I’m not sure if you can get subtitles on the youtube, I know 99% of you won’t be able understand it. I don’t speak German, but I understand a lot of it. Can you imagine, though? That’s gotta be so weird and terrifying, especially right at the start.
If I were Stephen King i’d be off writing a story about how humanity was wiped out apart from Big Brother contestants from across the world. That could be quite the horror scifi tale.
Anyway, not trying to make fun of it. It’s just a fascinating human sociological.. study. Or whatever. I wonder if they start off thinking it’s a prank, I haven’t watched a ton of BB but I think they do play mindgames with the contestants. Man. What a time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMRvOiYoR6A
18/3 2020
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Okay, I need a goat post. Lift me up, Nuller.

18/3 2020
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Social distance, Denmark vs USA (I have not fact checked the image)
Sorry to harp on about the virus, but it helps me to vent. I’ve been meaning to say, I’m impressed with our Prime Minister. Mette Frederiksen. And our whole general response to the virus. There’s always going to be people arguing we’re doing too much. Or too little. I don’t have the competence to judge that. But I feel like they are doing a good job with the information, if nothing else. Coming off competent, relevant, reassuring, firm but compassionate.
I’m sorry also to harp on about Trump. But really. You gotta wonder what kind of difference it would have made to America if its leaders had taken it seriously from the start? Would it have saved lives? I don’t know. I hope you’re still acting in time to have a proper response. But it’s a factual fact that Trump started out saying it was a Democrat hoax. He publically said he’d prefer the cruise people to stay on the boat because he didn’t want the numbers to go up. He publically said it was fine, it was under control, it would be zero cases soon. He got factual things wrong in his addresses. And now, when he seems (I think ?!) it’s a serious occasion, he calls it “the China virus”. Because he can never not be a racist shit. An American racist pig. These are all factual verifiable things, but you know Trump supporters have a lot of practice in ignoring facts, so I’m sure it’s not going to make any difference to them. If you can elect a guy after he’s been caught on tape bragging about sexual harrassment and mocked disabled people on camera, I’m sure being a stupid racist isn’t going to change anything. Congratulations on putting a business man in charge, enjoy your moral bankrupcy.
Okay, I’m done. For now.
I’m a ventriloquist, venting without moving my lips.
link: dk vs us press briefing image
18/3 2020
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Here is a picture of me eating a pizza.
No wait, this is Mia eating a tomato. I always get those two mied up.

18/3 2020
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Hot take: There is no difference between eating cow, pig, goat, dog or bat. The only difference is society has taught you that one animal is food and the other is pet. If you’ve learned anything from being friends with me it should be that goats are amazing animals with rich personalities and emotional lives and capable of deep bonds with humans. You should know Esther The wonder Pig to tell you the same about pigs. Yet people eat them all the time.
This isn’t my plea for you to go vegetarian or vegan. I get it, it’s not necessarily that simple or easy. And I am not claiming any kind of perfeection or superiority. I’m the worst, Jerry. The worst. But if you think the coronovirus is the fault of Chinese people eating gross things, then enjoy your mad cow disease and swine flu and whatever else.
This has been another episode of How To Lose Facebook Friends In Five Easy Steps.
I have 404 fb friends. Sanity not found.
19/3 2020
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Hot take: I like pizza and I take it while it’s hot. Hot hot hot

19/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

19/3 2020
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Payback’s a doe

19/3 2020
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ffs you goats need to calm yoselves down. This is getting ridiculous.
Are you camels, cos I see a lot o humps.
(I kid, I love the entertainment. Sassy is the top, Nuller is the bottom).

19/3 2020
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I’m sorry if I’m extra annoying these days, it’s just that I have gone quite mad and here I am posing with a potted plant. Please send skumfiduser. [Prince Junior Gorg has entered the chat]

19/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Fuzzy for your Friday, from 2016.

20/3 2020
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Jerry Stiller for president

20/3 2020
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goatlog

20/3 2020
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Had a bunch of neat dreams. I’ll spare you the details. Except one.
There was a big black dog that came up to me. It looked a bit ragged, scruffy. I think it only had one eye, although that may just be me projecting since I only have one eye. I’m still a little uneasy around dogs in real life, especially big ones I don’t know. And so I was in the dream. But the dog came up to me. And for some reason I was sitting on the ground, and the dog came close to me and was practically hugging me. Like it was comforting me or something. I know retelling is never the same, but in the dream it just felt very profound and emotional.
20/3 2020
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Oh my! We’re going to get live-action Ahsoka on the Mandalorian! Played by Rosario Dawson! That’s amazing! You’re welcome, non Star Wars fans!
20/3 2020
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I need you so much closer [accounting for social distance]

20/3 2020
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Looks like I got a little goat on me again.
link: Nuller on my back video
20/3 2020
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Remember I once recommended the tv show Counterpart? I’d just like to mention that again. Since it features (SPOILER ALERT) two parallel Earths, one of which is ours and the other is an exact duplicate only it was ravaged by a killer flu in the 90s. So, that’s interesting. It’s a great scifi noir spy thriller with an amazing JK Rowling doinng double duty. Very serious, very good.
If you want a lighter take on a killer disease wiping out humanity, I recommend The Last Man On Earth. Will Forte is, surprisingly, not the only cast member. I really, really enjoyed that show a lot. Very goofy.
And if you prefer reality, well I got nothing. Can’t help you there. Good luck with that.
21/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads out for a walk in 2005.

21/3 2020
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The whole pandemic thing gets even scarier when your friends start talking about having symptoms. I think I have 3 or 4 friends who have some degrees of potential symptoms. I am hoping you’re all fine. Crossing my fingers for you.
Also for Daniel Dae Kim who has the virus. He was on my favourite TV show of all time, Lost. Also Angel, and lots of other stuff. He made me happy back in the Lost days when he replied to a post I made on the official Lost forum. The Fuselage. They had subforums for all the cast and writers and you could post messages. I think most of them never even looked at their own forums there. They were busy making the show. But I remember one of the early Jin centric episode had moved me a lot and I posted about it on Daniel Dae Kim’s subforum. And one day he replied to it. It was nothing special, buti t meant a lot to me. Lost was, and is, a special show to me.
Hopefully he’ll pull through just fine. And Tom Hanks. And everyone. It’s weird how the whole world has completely changed so rapidly. Whether you take it seriously or not (you should, ffs). You can’t deny that it’s a different world all of a sudden.
So anyway. Sorry I always ramble. Get well everyone who is not. Denmark is so far doing fairly well. So far it seems that the steps we’ve taken so far has kept us on the ‘flat’ curve, where we can manage. The coming week could be crucial. If we didn’t act in time then the curve might explode and things could get ugly.
Stay safe, take care out there.
And don’t hoard tp. There are plenty of squares to spare.
21/3 2020
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DO NOT BE ALARMED. Unplug your alarm clock, problem solved.
21/3 2020
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I think Sky fits, so she sits.

21/3 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

22/3 2020
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Oh my gosh! Thank you so much Keiko Murakami ! What a wonderful package I got! Wait, that sounds wrong. What a wonderful pacakge I received! You know I love your art. I’ve been seeing the stuff you sent others recently, you make everyone so happy with these pieces! The Yogi cut is like a block of wood, hefty and so beautiful! And a beautiful Mia piece! I need to get a bigger apartment so I can have a room dedicated to art. Next time I move!
Also Huggles! Slipper socks. Haha. I haven’t tried them yet, but they look comfy! And then a pack of peanuts, which is really handy because I’m almost through my last pack of them and I was having to go buy new ones, and who knows if I could even get them in this apocalypse. And then chocorooms! Haha. My kind of shrooms! They are tasty!
You’re the absolute best Keiko, and i’m so glad I’ve gotten to know you. All of you facebook peoples, I am thankful to have you in my life. I wish I was better at being human and sociable and all that. But I’m glad you put up with me.

22/3 2020
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Welcome to the house of goats.

22/3 2020
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That’s all for now.