Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

4/3 2019
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Lily is a very affectionate gal. Either that or she thinks my head is a peanut.
Mr Peanuthead, coming this fall on Fox

4/3 2019
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Also, a shoutout to Keiko and Kris for mentioning me at breakfast. Haha. It’s great to know that my goatposting has brought some people together. Some people together with me too. At least I have contributed a little postiive to the world, that’s good to remember when I feel like a sack of flannel shirts. I used be a sad, angry and bitter person. It’s nice to know that even though I still struggle with stuff, I’m putting out better vibes now. Skipping stones in the water, crop circles in the wind. We hope the little positives will spread like butterfly wings to a hurricane. It’s a big bad world sometimes. I found the company of goats has had tremendous positive effect on my life, and it’s pretty cool that I get to share them so others can get a little of that too.
Thank you all for making me feel like I have worth. *puts pricetag on my forehead*
4/3 2019
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Oh man, Luke Perry died. I knew he had a stroke, but I didn’t expect that. So young. That’s so sad. I grew up with the Beverly Hills 90210 show. Back when American shows on Danish TV was something a little special. Nowadays it’s like every other country, 24/7 everything all the time streaming whatsapp whatever. But Beverly Hills was kind of a big deal here, back then.
And then Keith Flint, so young too. Bummer, man.
4/3 2019
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Just saw the clip of Trump embracing the flag. Wow. The only way he could have disrespected it more would have been if he’d taken a knee. And performed oral on it.
4/3 2019
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If the Wal Mart hauls don’t work out, I might take up Fortnite streaming. I just have to find out what a Fortnite is.
4/3 2019
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Bleating heads

4/3 2019
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goatlog

4/3 2019
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Latenight editing goat footage. I hope you guys appreciate that I do this insteada of getting a wife or partying with friends.
Now some of you may say, how would you get a wife or party with friends when you can’t stand being around humans? And to that I say LOOK OVER THERE A SQUIRREL
4/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.

5/3 2019
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Good goat times today. The temperature has dropped down a notch. And today there was light rain on and off. So most of the time was spent in the goat house. Hauled an embrace of hay in for the goats and watched them eat. Spent some time playing with Nuller. Some time chilling with Mia. Finegled some lapgoat time with both Milo and Sky, just so they know uncle human still loves them. It’s nice that they still fit in my lap, even though it’s a tight fit. Milo especially seems content to sit there, immediately goes into chewing cud mode. They’re a couple of sweeties.
So, a pretty quiet day. But quiet days with goats are nice too. Looks like we’re heading into the typical early Danish spring weather. Meaning pretty cold and grey. But at least the frost is gone, the mornings are lighter and the air doesn’t hurt my facebone. Hopefully the sun will be back soon. I’ll take some rain, though, if it makes the grass grow. It’ll be nice when we can start spending time out of the pen.
Now I’m hungry enough to eat a horse. A Tofu horse.
5/3 2019
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Mia and Sassy, guardians of the goat house.
They often stand like that. When the newbies first arrived there was a bit of a power struggle between them. Sassy thought she should be boss of it all, but I think she has conceded defeat. Now they’re getting along a lot better. Two big gals.

5/3 2019
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Would you look at him, flaunting those fluffy pantaloons. There oughta be a law aginnit.

5/3 2019
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“Get more likes, comments and shares
This post is performing better than 95% of other posts on your Page. Boost this post for kr.15 to reach up to 360 people.”
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I posted the video 10 minutes ago. it has 17 views. Better than 95% of my other posts? You’d think with all controversies Facebook keep getting into that they’d refrain from, you know, straight up lying to manipulate you into giving them money.
5/3 2019
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Shutting down the devices for today. I am going to Guam. Or am I? I’ll have to ask the pilot. Hey, Frank. Are we going to Guam?

5/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

6/3 2019
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One good development is that I can eat tomatoes again. They’re not super fresh yet, they go bad kinda quickly. But it’s really nice to be able to add them back to my diet. I love tomatoes and cucumber, and it helps me eat better when I can get the good, Danish ones. And as the tomato season gets going we’ll be able to have tomato times with the goats again, that’s always fun.
6/3 2019
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Lapgoat time with Milo.

6/3 2019
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Electing Trump as your president is like hiring R Kelly as your babysitter, amirite?
6/3 2019
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Mjallo?

7/3 2019
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Thanks, Mia. You couldn’t have looked at the camera too?

7/3 2019
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I’d sell my soul for a piece of cake, if I hadn’t already sold it for that talking duck. If I ever see that thing again we’re going to have a serious talk about credit card debt and what he spent all the money on.
7/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Clark and Bruce from 2014.

7/3 2019
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If the Fortnite streaming doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll try podcasting. A podcast about podcasts. There are so many podcasts, which ones are good? Which ones are bad? Mine will be! The Podcast Podcast. Podcasting about podcasts. Podcast podcast podcast podcast.
Now that Kevin Smith is thin we need a new fat podcaster.
7/3 2019
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New hood ornament is working out pretty well

7/3 2019
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Your highness…

7/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads from 2008.

8/3 2019
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I’d like to publically apologise for blowing up during that interview with Gail King, but you have to understand that I’m under tremendous pressure because of being the sole suspect in that case of the murdered pizzas.
8/3 2019
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Hey, Lily. What’s the goat word?

8/3 2019
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I just got done watching the Total Rickall episode with the commentary track on and it was so good that now I’m watching the Total Rickall episode without the commentary track on. That episode is amazing. Mr Poopybutthole! What is this, 90s Conan?!
8/3 2019
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Happy Women’s Day! Hope you’re happy women!
8/3 2019
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goatlog

8/3 2019
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If the podcasting doesn’t work out, maybe I’ll try my hand at a cooking show. ‘Goat Berry Compote’. ‘You can’t make an omelette without literally breaking all the eggs and then ordering one from the local deli’ and other fun episodes.
8/3 2019
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Depends on the pope, depends on the doughnut.
9/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012.

9/3 2019
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I wonder who llives in my childhood home now. Are they happy, are they sad. Is there a boy living in my old bedroom? Is there wifi, do apple grow on the tree in the back yard. I can still close my eyes and walk around in the memories.
9/3 2019
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Headrants that I’m not going to bother you with: Why religion (including stuff I cling to) is bullshit and how odd it is that in America you get extra voting power depending on geography.
Think it, don’t type it. You’re welcome. Have a nice weekend.
9/3 2019
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Also, while I’m being generous: Have a goat. Sassy’s goat the look.

9/3 2019
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Tuning out early today, hoping to catch the dreamtrain and ride into the sunset, and then onwards through the milkyway and then around the corner and to the left around where space folds into itself and hopefully I can avoid the gravitational pull of the turtle and then it’s so long suckers, see you on the other side. Don’t forget to book early to avoid disappointment if you want to go on a ride on the aeroplume. Flap your hands in the air like you just don’t care.
9/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

10/3 2019
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goatlog

10/3 2019
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I LIKE BEER
GK: Momo…
I’M NOT SOME KIND OF MONSTER
GK: Momo…
*eats Gayle King*
10/3 2019
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Milo and Sky, still goat it

10/3 2019
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If I had the time, skills, patience and know-how I’d make a King’s Quest like game and call it Viking’s Quest. And then I’d time travel back to the 80s and publish it and become rich. Then I’d kidnap Jessica Alba and Kristen Bell and travel back to the dinosaur age and tell them that humanity has died out and it’s our job to restart the human race, anyway where was I?
10/3 2019
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I think Sky just saw Momo

10/3 2019
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That’s all for now.

Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

25/2 2019
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Good goat times today. I had an appointment with the foot therapist today. Good thing, I’m not sure I would have made it out of bed in the morning if I didn’t have an appointment I had to go to. Thankfully I got out. Foggy morning, but lots of sunshine as the day wore on. Open coat day. May have start shedding some layers of clothing soon. Spring is around the corner. One of my favourite things about the weather getting warmer and sunnier is sitting around with goats in the sunshine. When it’s cold and dank they usually stand around more. When the sun shines they like to lay down and relax. And you get good goat yawns. Maybe a human yawn here and there too.
We had some visitors too. Sweet little girld loved petting Nuller. Told me about her bunny that was only 11 weeks old. Took everyone out of the pen too, but the newbies seemed a little on edge and they quickly retreated back to the pen. Alritey, I spent some time with Mia and Milo and Sky, running around a litlte as we used to do. I missed that. I’m glad the newbies are here, I really am. But there’s also a part of me that kinda needed some special quiet time with Mia and Milo and Sky after what happened with Mio. It’s fun to have new friends, but it’s good for the heart to sit around with the friends you know so well. Spent some good time bonding with Mia too. She’s had a lot to deal with, and uncle being such a jerk and spending time with the little one. And I have been too absent. I’m still not back to normal, but I still love just sitting with Mia. Coming up on 7 years together, in August. She’s all I have left of the old place and all the history there.
Sorry, didn’t mean to get all sentimental there. Good goating today.
25/2 2019
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Through thick and thin. But enough about my diets.

25/2 2019
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Foggy morning, the sun trying to get through

25/2 2019
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Treefingers in the fog.
Now I’m going foghorn leghorn it into the pea soup. Mmm. Soup. See you tomorrow, if you ut the blinkers on.

25/2 2019
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

26/2 2019
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Pretending to be a human is exhausting sometimes
26/2 2019
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Hay gurl

26/2 2019
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Okay, it’s official. I AM chief Wiggum.
Funny, I always thought I was Ralph..
link: wiggum and goat video
26/2 2019
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Waffle Neutral
27/2 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

27/2 2019
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Working on the script for my next movie, a Christmas rom-com thriller. In which Santa Claus goes out of business because he can’t compete with the cheap sweatshop toy industry, not since the elves unionized and demanded free health care because Berne. So he ends up having to take a job as a mall santa to make a living. And then he leans the true meaning of.. commercialism and capitalism. And the true value of friendship, also dollars.
27/2 2019
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Routine roof inspection, nothing to see here

27/2 2019
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Mia with her ‘kids’.
I’m turning off the devices for today. Queueing up some posts for Mia’s page and then heading to the ocean of dreams to see if I can catch some snorefish or snorkelbirds. Turtledoves or eggshell ants. Dancing fireflies or raining parades. Playing charades, in p jays. A contradiction, a walking science fiction. flawless neutral, mr sparkly shines, mr robot whines, dines sixtynines. And so on and so forth. Please allow 14 days for delivery, don’t forget to include a self-addressed stamped envelope if you require proof of purchase. We regret to infor you that we cannot return facebook statuses once you have broken the seal. See included floppies for further information. A user manual can be downloaded from linc space, above and beyond the milkway. 3rd rock from the sun, 3 doors down. Knock 3 times and ask for the pope, he’ll know what you mean.
This concludes tonight’s broadcast, there will now be static until everything resets. Fasten your seatbelts, there may be orbital wobble incoming.
*beep*

27/2 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mathilde, and a sheepy, from 2005.

28/2 2019
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I hope you all can spare some sympathy for me. Living in the horrible socialist dystopia of Denmark. I also wish I could live in North Korea. We all do. But North Korea doesn’t become North Korea overnight. It takes time and leadership. #TrumpJR2024
28/2 2019
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It’s a tough life

28/2 2019
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Just got done listening to the Beastie Boys Book. Narrated by everyone cool in the world. All star cast. Now I have loaded the Beastie Boys discography on my MP3 player. Because you know I’m hip and down with the kids and what’s trending.
28/2 2019
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Sky’s climbing branches

28/2 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Thor from 2008.

1/3 2019
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Good goat times today. Started out cool and cloudy, but the sun came out quite a bit and it got warmer. Ended up having to take my coat all the way off, for the first time this year. Fitting since it’s no longer winter by the Danish calendar. I mean, I was still wearing a blouse and a sweater. Still got some time to get in shape for t-shirt weather. But it’s getting lighter and warmer and that’s a very good thing for me.
Lots of fun with the goats today. The newbies managed to eat peanuts for the first time. Sassy girl still struggles with them a bit, but Lily mama seems to have it figured out. And even lil Nuller got his first taste of peanuts. I did take them out of the shell for him. He looooved them. A brand new, exciting taste. He was eager for more. Just wait till you’re big enough to get pasta wheelies, kiddo!
At one point I was sitting on the bench with Nuller in my lap. The mama came over and jumped up on the bench with us. And then she climbed up on my legs! Haha. I was sitting there with the kid in my lap and the mother balancing on my legs. She’s actually quite petite. You wouldn’t think she’s had a baby. It’s funny when Nuller gets down and rams his head at the milk bag because he’s not that much smaller than her anymore. He’s a growing boy, and she’s a lil gal. But it was fun to sit there with both of them in my lap. What’s the world record for stacking goats in your lap?`Maybe I should go for it.
1/3 2019
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So, I talked to Alice today. Asked if they had names yet. Nope. And it didn’t sound like there was any hurry. “We should just name them ourselves” Alice said. Which I think was Alice’s giving me the cue to suggest names. Which I should have done. But, and I don’t know if you all know this about me since I have new friends, I can barely talk to humans because of my social phobia. So I did not suggest names. Sigh.
But I guess we should just name them, then. As I’ve mentioned I’ve been calling them Sassy (big gal, thinks she’s in charge) and Lily (mama). What do you guys think? Are those good for names? Or should I ask for suggestions on Mia’s page and have a vote? That’s always fun and gets people involved. But I don’t know how much my heart will be in it when I know there’s a good chance they’ll get other, official, names later.
I don’t know. What do you think? Sassy/Lily or page vote? Or keep waiting until the kids/staff at the playground at some point decide something?

1/3 2019
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Well, the great public has spoken. We hereby (un)officially name them Sassy and Lily, here on the bench with Nuller.
Thank you everyone for chiming in!

1/3 2019
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Here is a little anecdote especially for Keiko. You know how goats lift up their hind leg to scratch their ear or head, like a dog? Well today Sky was doing that. And then she started dropping goat berries. For some reason I thought you’d find that image amusing, Keiko. One leg up scratching your head in mid-poop.
1/3 2019
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Getting a little crowded on this here bench.

1/3 2019
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Here’s Lily and me. And a Sassy nose.
I’m shutting down for tonight. Planning to do a dreamwalk, and it might be a long one. So don’t wait up. If anything interesting happens while I’m gone please make a scrapbook with newspaper cuttings and seal it in a large trash bag and throw it into the sun. And if you could also please stop saying that artists are “dropping” albums and songs that’d be great, I’d really appreciate that. See you tomorrow when I’ll be dropping some goat photos and videos, and who knows maybe someone will drop some goat berries. Drop it like it’s Hoth.

1/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe from 2005.

2/3 2019
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Hey Lily Kissyface.

2/3 2019
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Sorry bout the poor quality, but I thought this was a sweet scene. The 3 newbies huddled up when I came to let them out in the morning.

2/3 2019
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At this point I’d like to point out that you’re a figment of my imagination and the world is flat and humanity has only been here for 2000 years and the dinosaur bones are made of papier maché and those high interest loans are a good life choice please insert coin for player one
3/3 2019
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A story about Adolf Hitler’s mom if a time traveller had killed her son
3/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

3/3 2019
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you’re welcome

3/3 2019
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Yo yo

3/3 2019
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Here is some exclusive bonus content for the premium subscribers. A masterclass in professional filming. Don’t try this at home, it’s taken me 15 years to get this good.
link: falling camera video
3/3 2019
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Thinking of starting a new youtube channel with Wal Mart hauls and cereal unboxings. Branching out since this goat thing hasn’t made me a millionaire yet.
Also, I don’t know what ASMR is but reading the back of cereal boxes in a husky voice should go over well.
3/3 2019
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Well, I think I’m going to head to the bedspace and beyond. Feeling tired and.. bleh. You know the old trope of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? I have a fat guy on one shoulder and a thin guy on the other. And the fat guy says “just order junk food and eat ice cream, don’t you want to feel good?” and the thin guy says “Yes, don’t you want to feel good? You’ll feel good if you eat sensibly and exercise and then you don’t have to delete great goat photos because of the triple chin”. And they’re both right. Can’t.. You See… You’re… TEARING.. .us .. apart .. ./Shatner
Anyway I’m going to go dream. See you in a concept of time from now.

3/3 2019
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That’s all for now.