No Humans

October 7th, 2018

Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje from 2008.

1/10 2018

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Good goat times today. I can tell the world is really getting to me when even going to see the goats seems like it’s not going to be worth it. I mean, I know it will be. But my brain still says ‘no, go to bed. Dreamworld is better’. Luckily I know that my brain is stupid. Haha, I win this round. Against myself. I’m too smart. Or too stupid. Or well, it worked out because I got to see goats. Cold morning. But a sunny day, so as the sun did its thing it got quite nice out. Took the gang out to the greens. We went behind the bicycle parking shed. I was surprised to see Mio head in there, because it’s quite dark. Normally she’s very cautious. But she headed into darkness. And since we’ve never been behind that thing before that meant untouched greens. Yum. It’s October now. The greens are less lush and plentiful. I miss the summer days already. Getting bellyful of greens and then sitting down in the shade on a blazing hot day. Sigh. But at least the company is still good. And hopefully the greens will last a little while yet, even if it’s more work getting the belly full.
And then suddenly the sound of an acoustic guitar and kids running around and screaming in the soccer/basketball rink. Poor kids, they were made to run around the block again. I thought last time was like a unique Exercise Day. I remember when I was a kid there was ONE day per year where the whole school had to go out for a long run all day. A real fun day for a fat kid, I tells ya. Anyway, apparently these kindergarteners are being made to exercise REGULARLY. Thoughts and prayers. What is the world coming too.
There was one girl who was so fast that she left all the adults behind. One adult going “i’m just going to catch up with her” to another. And then adding “no, that’s not going to happen…”. She was fast! And of course several kids stopping to admire the goats, horses and bunnies. Which is totally a tactic I would have used if I had been one of the kids. “No yeah, I’m totally running! But look at the little bunny *draws breath* so cute! *gasps for air* little… *heeeave* bunny..”.
And then we went back to the goat pen to relax, because watching people exercise is exhausting. A mother with a little kid came over and asked for help. They accidentally thrown their ball into the horse field. So I had to go retrieve it. And I found that the outside hasp on the horse door was gone. So I couldn’t properly close the door. Which almost led to Shadow escaping. And then I found a bucket to prop up against the door to keep it shut. And Shadow got the lid off it and started eating whatever was inside. Some kind of horse food I guess. So I had to remove that and find something else to hold the door closed. And then walk across the field and get the ball and give it to the people and wow I need to sit down for a minute.
I ended the day with super sweet Mio time. Sitting together in a ray of sunshine, holding her head in my arms as she dozed off. Perfect wonderful sweetness.
1/10 2018

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I do NOT have a Messiah complex.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to feed my disciples.
I mean, I have to give treats to my goats. That’s what I meant to say.
(I had a picture where I had my arms completely outstretched like a Messiah statue, but it was framed all wrong and unusable. But I decided to keep the joke anyway, so just.. imagine. dragons. Or something.)

1/10 2018

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Overheard in the supermarket today:
Mother: “Where is your pacifier?”
Kid sitting in shopping kart, with a big smile: “IT’S GONE!”
Mother, patiently: “Where did you put it?”
Kid, happily: “IT’S GONE!”
1/10 2018

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The goats are not what they seem.
Oh wait, yes they are. Totes awesome, just like they seem.
It’s not a good day if you don’t have goat hair all over you.

1/10 2018

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Everyone has a picture folder called “Too fat to post”, right?
1/10 2018

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Because they’re worth it

1/10 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.

2/10 2018

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I am always a little surprised when Mio makes it up on the platform, even if it’s not very high.

2/10 2018

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FINALLY managed to find a place to buy a DRM free copy of Esther the Wonder Pig’s audiobook. Thankfully Audible doesn’t have a complete stranglehold on the market after all. Looking forward to getting to hear it, at last. And there’s a new Murakami (HAruki, not Keiko) book coming in a week or so. Good booktimes.
Look forward to Mia’s autobiography, in stores soon. She narrated it herself, it’s a lot of bleats.
3/10 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

3/10 2018

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Good goat times today. Out early, while it was still dark. A little too early, a little too dark. But I was anxious to get away from the outworld and get into the goatworld. Goating around in the greens. Cold morning, but as the sun took hold it got better. When we got out of the wind and sat in the goat house, in the ray of sunshine, it felt almost summery.
Funniest part of the day was when the kids discovered that they can still fit through the gap by the gate to the horse field. I remember they slipped through there easily a few months ago. Now they had to squuueze, like trying to get the last toothpaste out of the tube. But they got through. Barely any grass in there, but they started picking fallen leaves. I lured them out with treats, but then they went right back in. Sheesh. So goaty. It doesn’t matter if the grass is actually greener on the side you’re on, if there’s a place they’re not supposed to go then they want to go there. I let them stay a little and then lured them out again. And promptly started walking to get away from that gate. The goats usually follow me if I start walking away at high speed. Group mentality kicks in. Except this time Mio didn’t follow us. She just stood there at the gate and looked into the horse field. Aww grandma. No way you’re fitting through that gap! Mia had tried following the kids in there but she just got her head through the gap and I had to help her get it back out. No way the big ladies can get through there. I had to go back and give grandma a gentle push on the rear to get her going. I don’t know why she’d want to go in there, she doesn’t appreciate the company of the horses! It’s like with me and humans. Better to keep a safe distance.
3/10 2018

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Lovely day for it. As long as you’re wearing a jacket, or growing some fur.

3/10 2018

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I think grandma went on vacation without us

3/10 2018

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“Brett Bart Kavanaugh was the Judge that told the 17 year old immigrant girl that was raped that she couldn’t have an abortion until she really really thought about it maturely bc what you do at 17 follows you forever”
Brettbart, you’re going to have to go to Oz to get a heart. Maybe bring back a brain for Trump and some fucking spine for the entire Republican party.
Go on, keep the entitled old rich white trustfund babies in power to prevent abortion, meanwhile your fetuses will be stuffed with mercury. Maybe your kids will survive long enough to be shot down in the school yards. At least they won’t be shot in the face while hibernating like bears and their teeth won’t be sold like ivory. Hope you don’t choke on the silver spoons in your mouths.
3/10 2018

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The What-The-Fuck-Duck has had it up to here

3/10 2018

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Anyway, gotta goat.

3/10 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads and Magnethe from 2007. I opened my flashback folder and randomly scrolled ahead and blindly clicked on a file. And this came up. As some of you may remember, it’s part of a little series of photos of them that was always one of my favourites. They looked so beautiful together in those photos.

4/10 2018

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When you look over and the goat clearly heard you getting the treatbag out

4/10 2018

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I don’t know, that presidential alert thing seems to be taking things a little far. I mean, sure I’d want to be warned if he was in my neighbourhood too but come on..
4/10 2018

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Grandma’s considering her battle plan. Conquer the greens.

4/10 2018

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Jon Favreau’s Star Wars show is The Mandalorian. Cool, I guess. I like Boba Fett as much as everyone else. Never really been too into the Extended Universe Mandalorians, though. I kinda preferred the stuff that the Original Trilogy built in my head, the early Boba stories and rumours. But hopefully it will be good. What I really want is a TV show set on Tatooine. At the height of Jabba’s powers. Tusken Raiders, Jawas in sandcrawlers, a crazy old jedi in the desert. Krayt Dragons, bounty hunters, Mos Eisley. Moisture farmers. That’s what I want. You could make a really great scifi Western show out of that stuff. The Kenobi novel had good stuff like that. Basically Cowboys in the dessert with aliens. What’s not to love? Plus they could cast me as Jabba the hutt, I swear I’d work hard to get in shape for the role.
Anyway, I’m not a nerd YOU’RE a nerd
4/10 2018

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Shadow of the goat

4/10 2018

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goatlog

4/10 2018

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Sky is such a pretty girl. And I love how she acts all coy and sweet but if you (Milo, or even the big ladies) mess with her she gets fierce.

4/10 2018

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Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday.

5/10 2018

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Gotta get out of my head
5/10 2018

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Going to bed. Can’t be me right now. We’ll try again tomorrow. Gotta light?

5/10 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012.

6/10 2018

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Fell into a black hole yesterday. At least I had good dreams. Tired of this world. Wouldn’t it be nice if life was Minecraft and you could just start up a new world with a new seed. Procedurally generated reality.
6/10 2018

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Dark mornings

6/10 2018

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*pounds fists on nuke to make it go off*
see you in the funny pages
6/10 2018

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I’m getting too old for it to be this early

6/10 2018

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Think goat thoughts

6/10 2018

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Aw, Ben Daglish passed away. He was one of the really great music composers in the old 8bit days. It’s funny, I never appreciated the Commodore 64 music as much when I had a C64 as I do now. I mean, I appreciated it. But I love it even more nowadays. And with retro becoming so popular, I’ve gotten to see and hear more of the people behind the music. Ben seemed like a really cool and engaging person, really interesting to listen to. And the music, always the music. No rest till 8bit..
He was only 52. Fuck cancer.

7/10 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy funday everyone.

7/10 2018

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May god have mercy on your souls. The rich get richer, the poor get raped, shot, doubted and distrusted, fucked and mocked, poisoned and polluted and diseased, deceived and divided, thrown away like the aborted fetuses of their mistresses.
Abortion and guns are just the new church of the rich old white man’s way of oppressing and controlling you. Laughing at you from their money bins. Sing for absolutely nothing.

7/10 2018

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Think goat thoughts

7/10 2018

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goat heart

7/10 2018

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If I could get the littles ones to stack maybe they’d be the same height as Mia…

7/10 2018

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updated his profile picture.

7/10 2018

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That’s all for this week.


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Justice

September 30th, 2018

Today will be a good day. Here are the Ping Pong twins from 2016.

24/9 2018

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Good goat times today. A cold morning. For the first time I felt my face hurt from the cold. Sigh. So that’s fun. Cold, cold win. I had a headache in the morning. And coughing fits along the day. I’m not sure how well I am. But I had to get out to see the goats of course. For my mental health. At least it was a sunny day. When the wind died down it was much nicer to be outside.
Out grazing with the goats, suddenly we were interrupted by loud noises. Some kind with a microphone. I think he was testing it. Beatboxing and weird noises. Haha. The goats were quite puzzled, not sure if it was something to fear or just to ignore. Yeah, I feel the same way about modern music, kids.
I think today was ‘exercise day’. Because the kindergarteners were doing exercises. To music over the sound system. And then they started running around the block. The goats didn’t mind all the running kids. There were greens to be devoured. The kindergarten adults had to repeatedly tell the kids not to stop and look at the goats. Luckily they didn’t invite me to join the exercise. But it was amusing to watch the kids run by, and around the block, and back past us again. Over and over. Some of the kids had quite funny ways of running. Some of them weren’t too good at bending their limbs it seemed. Stiff legs and stiff arms, running along like wooden dolls. But they kept at it, bless them. One kid unfortunately did a faceplant right as he was passing us. He was running along and then fell long as he was (which wasn’t very long) with his face right in the asphalt. Ouch. He cried, but thankfully he wasn’t seriously hurt. The adults got him up and he kept running. I only run like that when I’m getting pizza.
Later we had some good, relaxing times in the pen. I’m wearing one of my new t-shirts, and it’s quite nice, except I wish it was a little bit longer (I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat, wait what?) because it didn’t quite cover the treat pocket. Not enough. Which meant I had to endure constant attacks from Milo, the little jerk. He never stops trying to steal the treatbag out of my pocket. He’s lucky he’s so cute, with the beard and the ego and the etc. Potted plants don’t steal from your pockets, I’m just saying.
But good goating, I needed that.
24/9 2018

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D’oh. I just ordered myself a brand new 64gb memory card for my camera. Because I ran out of space today on my 32gb one. I thought it was because I’ve started filming in super hd. Well.. turns out I’d just forgotten to delete all the videos from my last goat trip. So. 32gb is plenty. I don’t need a 64gb card. Haha. Oh well. At least I didn’t order the 128gb one that I was looking at.
Anyway, that’s a lot of numbers that probably don’t mean a lot to anyone who doesn’t carry a digital camera every time they go outside.
Note to self: remember to delete the videos and pictures from the memory card once you’ve transferred them to the computer.
Also note to self: Write more better interesting posts.
24/9 2018

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Here’s Milo, fresh off the memory card.

24/9 2018

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Well, there you have it. September 24th. Engaging the space heater’s heat function for the first time. I’ve been using it to blow cold air all summer. Now. I need the heat.
If you thought Summer Lasse was down now and then, get reay for Seasonal Affective Disorder Lasse!
24/9 2018

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Cold morning. At least the sun is rising.

24/9 2018

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Darkening mornings. The space tower in the distance.

24/9 2018

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Go into the light

24/9 2018

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Mood af

24/9 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

25/9 2018

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May the fours be with you

25/9 2018

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I’m dedicated to making the world a better place by eating all the pizza in it to save my friends with gluten allergies.
Also, I am really funny 1 like = one agree
#MoreBetterUpdates
25/9 2018

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Ears deployed. The Mia plane is ready for takeoff

25/9 2018

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Cosby goes to jail, Kavanaugh goes to the supreme court. A party of rapists is more fun when you’re the rich, white male.
25/9 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

26/9 2018

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If you go to the twitter and look at the hashtag #NicerBoats it’s almost exclusively stupid, political rants by some guy called Lasse. I’m not saying I’m not proud of that, but I’m not not saying I’m not proud of that and I’m also not not saying i’m not not proud of that. I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying. #NicerBoats
#TitanicAdministration
#ComeIcebergCome
#NotPennysBoat
26/9 2018

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I know I shouldn’t post this but..
Sometimes when I look through the camera roll after a goat trip I come across something that just makes me think “How the heck did that even happen?”.
Please accept my apologies #NSFW #NicerPants #FriendCountNuke

26/9 2018

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On-Topic goat post. Nothing to see here. Move along.

26/9 2018

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Well, that was my first jehovah’s witnesses visit. Normally I don’t answer the door when I’m not expecting anyone, but I thought it was the mailman.
Anyway, nice couple I hope they like it in my sex dungeon. #NicerCages
26/9 2018

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A little bridge between the platforms. Not sure if permanent.

26/9 2018

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ranting and raving
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Just a couple of Kavanaugh things. Sorry.
He’s got a good reputation, everything you knwo about him is good? Yeah, everyone thought Bill Cosby was the perfect father figure, the nicest guy. I thought Louis CK was the top of integrity. They’re all great until you find out they’re not. You can’t defend against accusations by saying “everyone thinks he’s great”.
2, actually saw a republican women on the tellyvision saying it was time to move on, it’s not like there was intercourse. Yeah sure sure, if someone tried to rape your kid you’d definitely just shrug it off if he didn’t succeed.
Look, I don’t know if Kavanaugh is a good person or a bad. But I know the republicans don’t care to find out, and that’s the thing. Unless he gets up and does an “I did it and I would have gotten away with it if wasn’t for you libs” dance then they’ll vote yes for him. Vote for it the day after the accusation hearing. Because they don’t give a fuck if he’s a rapist or not. You want Franken to resign for maybe being a little handsy in a sketch but you’ll put this guy on the supreme court despite multiple accusations of attempted rape and indecent exposure?
It’s just locker room talk, what boy in high school hasn’t done that, you can’t rape her if she’s a slut. Fuck ruck fuck
You can’t even direct a Disney movie if you’ve made a crude joke on twitter 10 years ago. Jesus fucking christ this shit show is making me crazy. You’d put the fucking predator Predator on the supreme court if he promised only to kill babies AFTER they were born, plus he wouldn’t let the dems take your space guns away
blarglbargblarglhaglblarygblarg
Jesus christ, if Jesus Christ came back he’d vomit and run away. I’m sorry dad, take me back please
26/9 2018

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Alright alright. Calm down. Have a couple of horses. Shadow and Black Beauty ain’t got time for that.

26/9 2018

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Nearer, my goat, to thee

26/9 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.
I didn’t manage to get out of bed this morning. The world was cold and sad and so was I. I let it get to me, unfortunately. Oh well, up and away.

27/9 2018

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Sometimes when they’re moving around together it really does look like the pygmies are Mia’s babies. They do a lot together, while grandma Mio moves more at her own pace. Which is slower. And crankier.

27/9 2018

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Thanks for reaching out and holding me back when i’m blindly stumbling towards the e dge

27/9 2018

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When you don’t want to look at the news, but you want to look at the news, but you know you shouldn’t, but you want to, but you know there’s no point, but QUICK HUG A GOAT

27/9 2018

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The Good Place is coming back tonight. I hope season 3 can maintain quality. The first two seasons consistently made me happy after most episodes. I think Ted Danson should be president and Kristen Bell should be my wife and Jason and Janet should be everyone else.
Captain, reality ahead.
RAISE THE SHIELDS
27/9 2018

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Couldn’t help thinking of the Brock Turner case. Just looked it up on wikipedia. His sentence was ‘consistent with similar cases’. So that’s great. Let the rapist off easy, because.. that’s what we’ve always done. And there’s a president who admitted to sexual harrassment and now there’s going to be a supreme judge with multiple accusations against him that won’t be properly investigated. Man. Black kids get shot in the streets if they wear hoodies. Rich white guys can just do whatever they want. Wouldn’t want to ruin their future or anything. I hope women shape the future of the world. Men are the worst. They don’t wait for consent before they fuck the world. Fuckity fuck.
27/9 2018

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Need more goat before I go crazy

27/9 2018

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Spontaneous combustion, don’t fail me now.
27/9 2018

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An app that blocks everything and everyone and nukes all your devices and deletes you from all registries and databases and also cooks pizza,
patent pending
28/9 2018

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I very rarely, I mean like ever, share posts or memes or stuff by others. I’m just not on Facebook to do that.
So me sharing this should change everything, you’re welcome world.
I may lose friends over this, but respectfully, fuck the Republican party. I don’t understand. Who is america? Why is america? This is america? Your god is dead. If there is a god he has long since turned his/her/its back on the sickness that is humanity. None of us are living up to any of the madeup bullshit in the various madeup holy books.
Not to be pessimistic or anything, but if you can’t see the avalanche then it’s because you’re in it. I really don’t think there’s any way of stopping it. It’s only going to get worse. Salt the earth, maximise the profits.
And I don’t have to care. I’ll be dead before Denmark is drowned in the global warming rising seas and I’ll be buried in my bubble and burn in your madeup hell. I don’t have to care, but it still makes me so sad. I don’t understand. I wish I could shut out all the bad thoughts and turn off the news. Close my eyes and make it go away. You do it to yourself you do and that’s what really hurts.
Etc. I’ll try to get off the political soapbox. For my own self.
link: Wil Wheaton post about Kavanaugh
28/9 2018

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That being said, I’m going to turn my head to the goat place. Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads from 2006. Everything is fine. Do not panic.

28/9 2018

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Good goat times today. Muchly needed. Much. Grandma gave me a little scare, though. The goats were out already when i got there. Bleat bleat greets, but no grandma anywhere to be seein in the pen. Turns out she was still inside in their stall. I was there pretty early, usually the goats aren’t out that early. Maybe grandma refused to go out when the others went out. And whomstever let them out (Alice probably) let her stay inside, intending to let her out later. I don’t know. I was just relieved to find her in there, after looking through the whole pen. Including under the goat house.
A cold morning, a cold wind. But lots of sunshine, so it got nicer as the day wore on. Took the gang out to the greens, down by the alt pen. There’s a pathway leading along that alternative pen and Mio started walking that way. We didn’t go too far, but still further out than we’ve ever been before. I guess she was ready for some adventure after being stuck inside longer than the others.
Met some nice people too. One woman stopped and looked at grandma crossing the path. She couldn’t see me because I was with the other goats on the other side. When she did spot me coming out she said “oh, someone IS watching them! I thought they’d escaped and was wondering what to do if that was the case”. Haha. I do believe that in the past, at our old place, people have called the police when the goats went wandering on their own into the residential areas. No need for the cops this time, thankfully.
There was another women that I’ve seen several times now. Walking her little dog. She always says hi and we have a short chat when she walks by. Nice lady.
Good to get away from the real world, and into the real real world.
28/9 2018

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There’s a world outside

28/9 2018

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Oh by the way, funny thing. While I’m trying not to be crushed by news from America… Barack Obama is visiting Denmark. Secretly hoping he’s planning to run for President of Denmark. Can you imagine. Obama + universal health care + no guns + goats. TALK ABOUT THE GOOD PLACE
link: cph-post article
28/9 2018

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I saw that you were moving the bench so I decided to help by standing on it.

28/9 2018

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Bought five kinds of dessert. Playing it safe. I think it’s going to be a five kinds of dessert kinda day.
28/9 2018

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Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Well, I submit my calendar, does it say anything about dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight in my calendar?
28/9 2018

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Yes, I moved the bench. Oldtimers may remember that this is the OG bench from our previous home. The one that I spent more than 10 years sitting on with goats, earning me the ‘Lassepladsen’ sign on the wall behind it. It was moved with us when we moved to our new (current) home. Since then it had been standing up against the fence at the back of the pen, but it was never used much. Now and then I’d go sit on it to shoot some video with the goats, but generally we spend almost all the time in the pen up by the goat house and platforms. So I figured I’d move the bench up there. A good place to sit and watch goats on the platform now. It all looks a bit messy, but as long as there’s stuff for the goats to do I’m happy.

28/9 2018

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Putting the bench to good use

28/9 2018

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hello?
28/9 2018

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Well my Facebox is still all kinds of messed up. I hope it’s a temporary problem. I can’t update Mia’s page like this. Can’t even see it. Can only see a limited number of posts on my newsfeed.
But, if nothing else, I still love The Good Place so much. If I had to make a list of my favourite TV shows ever it would probably crack the top 5, maybe the top 3. I think it’s amazing. Beautiful and hilarious and moving and weird. It’s perfect.
So, let’s see if I can post this and then maybe go dream away.
28/9 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s the Peanut nutter. Looks like my Facebox issues have resolved themselves, hoves crossed.

29/9 2018

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Fuzzybutts

29/9 2018

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Golden girl

29/9 2018

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I has a bench

29/9 2018

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Hope you all are getting ready for the war on christmas. Stock up on sandwiches and guns
29/9 2018

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All I see is goat

29/9 2018

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A drink-off between Kavanaugh and Lindsay Lohan for the empty SCOTUS seat.
Either way we all lose, except for the brewery.
29/9 2018

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Cool kids never have the time

29/9 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

30/9 2018

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Rest in peace Kim Larsen. I know you don’t know him if you’re not Danish. But he was one of our most popular musicians. A rocking, protesting, sometimes controversial, very beloved personality. One of a kind, something apart. I don’t even know who to compare him to. Bruce Springsteen? I don’t know. I wasn’t a huge follower as such, but you didn’t have to seek him out to hear him. His music was everywhere. Kids growing up, we all knew the big hits. I don’t think you could have been alive in Denmark from the 70s and on without having heard his music. A strong voice. Not one of those pretty, perfect voices. But a strong voice with personality and things to say. Noget på hjertet-
Fuck cancer.

30/9 2018

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Funday memories. So long ago, still so close. The weight of memories is metric tons
link: Palle hugs video
30/9 2018

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Well, looking up Kim Larsen on the youtube reminded me of this song, which never fails to make me cry. The lyrics, the music, this version. The time that we’re in. Sorry if I’ve been overly emotional or dramatic lately. I know some of you have been too. I just can’t help being crushed and sad. Not just by what’s happening, but by what it says about us. About the world. And all the things that are exposed. All my (mostly female) friends that have been through things. The question of who gets on the American supreme court is not going to directly impacty my life a lot. But the humanity. Oh the humanity. It’s soul crushing, this theatre of shit. It’s hard to have hope for the future. What kinds of things are being written in yearbooks these days?
We should be doing better, we should at least be heading in a better direction.
Shoutout to those fighting for a better future, I hope you never lose hope.

30/9 2018

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I’m not gonna lie, I dig the shirt. Goes well with the goat.

30/9 2018

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goatlog

30/9 2018

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Serious goat business ahoof.

30/9 2018

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Perfectly framed action shot by the master photographer

30/9 2018

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Here’s a little behind-the-scenes featurette for the premium subscribers. Forcing poor Mia to take goat selfies with me.
link: goats and me on the bench video
30/9 2018

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Between the platform and the bench

30/9 2018

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That’s all for this week.


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