Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut and the pizza oven from 2015.

17/9 2018
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Good goat times today. Had to go to my parents place first for some tech support. Got that done bright and early. My mother, whomst I was coming to assist, hadn’t even gotten up yet. Once that was all done it was on to Goat Town for fun and games. Decent weather, not warm but not cold. Bit of sun now and then. Out grazing with the goatsters. We had some kindergarteners visiting, lots of commotion. I love how grandma Mio can just stand still in the eye of the storm with loud kids poking her in the face. Not a flinch. Perfect petting goat. Then back to the pen for relaxation. And again, more platform building. And again I managed to hurt myself. I didn’t drop a tile on a finger this time. But I think I lost control of one of the really heavy ones and its corner scraped across my finger. Good thing we don’t have a swear jar. Now I have a little bloody scar. The things you do for goats. I think the layout of platforms is done to satisfaction now. Just need to stabilize a wobbly thing or two. But it’s pretty good.
And then we got some visitors at the fence. Remember Nelly, the lady who works at the kindergarten across from our pen? She came by with 4-5 of the kindergarteners and they fed leaves to excited goats. One of the (human) kids was very excited and started climbing some of the tiles and stuff outside the pen (the place where I have nicked the stuff I have used for our platforms, shh don’t tell). Nelly was kind of telling her to be careful and the kid jumped up and down on the pile of whatsits and went “I DIDN’T FALL! I DIDNT’T FALL! I DIDN’T FALL!” while jumping and then of course she fell. Luckily she wasn’t hurt. And then as she sat on the ground she went “I ONLY FELL ONCE”. True enough, kid. True enough
17/9 2018
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Another hard day at work. I can’t wait till they get a break room installed so I don’t have to nap on grandma’s belly.

17/9 2018
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As always, when I stop by my parents’ place I have to take a picture of the church on my way. It’s tradition.

17/9 2018
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O Fudge,
a poem by the undersigned
17/9 2018
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Could you BEE any handsomer, Milo?

17/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

18/9 2018
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Grandma, you’re on the wrong side! ..and I dont think we’re going to get you to climb over that..

18/9 2018
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you never know how strong you are until you start to break

18/9 2018
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I has an hungry

18/9 2018
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*deletes Kavanaugh rant* it doesn’t even matter does it?
18/9 2018
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Milo’s on cleanup duty

18/9 2018
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This is how I find them in the morning, when I open the door to their bleating. You can see Milo is standing up on this wooden stump that I dragged into their stall. And Sky is standing with her front legs up on their salt block! Silly kids.
Had to crank up the brigthness so the quality isn’t the best. But I love those cute, demanding faces.

18/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

19/9 2018
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Goat with a house

19/9 2018
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Not feeling so good. Feel like I have to throw up, but nothing’s coming up. Other than a little ghastly acid. Also my head is dizzy and I hear an old man singing in the radiator. I think I just need sleep. So I’m going to go get some sleep. That should test that theory. You guys carry on like normal while I’m gone. Just pretend I’m not here. Wait, pretend I am here but not saying anything. Like a fat kid at a party who shouldn’t reveal private information about himself on the internet what was I saying?
19/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe from 2005.
I am feeling better, but still a bit groggy and crummy. Nothing to worry about, though.

20/9 2018
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By the way, I wasn’t joking when I said I heard an old man singing in the radiator. Nor hallucinating. Out in my bathroom I can often hear people. I guess it’s the piping, the shower drain or whatever. Connecting apartments in the building. I often hear faint voices or music through there. And yesterday I heard what sounded like an old sailor laughing and singing sea shanties. There may be a portal to another world in my shower drain. I wonder if I should stick my hand down there and try for a handshake.
20/9 2018
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The little humans and the big goat.

20/9 2018
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The little humans and the bigger goat.

20/9 2018
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But why would she wait 37 years before coming forward?
I don’t know, maybe seeing your (alleged) attempted rapist being nominated for a lifetime position where he’ll help shape the future for rape victims etc might motivate you to come forward and say something. How long was her name out before she got doxxed and vilified? It’s not going to be a fun time for her. It would be hard enough for any women, imagine having the tucking president of your country speaking out against you along with the twitter cesspool and news pundits everything. They managed to scare off that girl that was going to come public with accusations against Trump shortly before the election. Imagine going through something so hard and then having to face death threats and all the pussygrabbing old rich white men who are against abortion unless it’s their mistresses rant rant rant rant
But hey give the guy credit for the 67 women he didn’t try to rape. He’s either not a rapist or a really bad one with a low hit count rant rant rant rant
delete this y n y n y n
20/9 2018
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save me goats

20/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

21/9 2018
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Mwah

21/9 2018
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Grateful for the friends who stick with me despite my inadequate humaning skills

21/9 2018
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No, yeah rich old white powerful men should definitely be the ones to decide when/how/if/why women should report abuse. #SuperiorJustice
21/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Fuzzy from 2016.

22/9 2018
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goatlog

22/9 2018
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More exclusive content for the premium subscribers. A rare outtake in which the cameraman falls over backwards, and of course the goats immediately rush to his help… or something
link: fall video
22/9 2018
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The sun is shining outside, on my drawn curtains. There are shadows flickering across the curtains. I think it’s storming outside, probably it’s tree branches casting shade on my windows. But it looks like giant hands, fingers playing across my windows. Maybe they are trying to find a way in. Feeling around on the glass for a crack. I hope there isn’t a crack in my windows, that’s how the monsters come in.
22/9 2018
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Shutting down for today. Feeling okay, but titred. Been very tired. So early to bed to get all the sleep and dream the world away.
I’ll leave you with a grandma pic for company.
Oh, and I have learned how to schedule posts on Mia’s page, so don’t assume I’m awake or at the computer just because posts appear on there. Don’t look behind the curtain.

22/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

23/9 2018
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a more better future
23/9 2018
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goatlog, including our first time on the bleachers

23/9 2018
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Not only is it no longer hot, it’s also no longer warm. Now there’s 8 months until it gets warm again. I wish I lived in Brazil #WillingToWax
23/9 2018
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Silence means approval

23/9 2018
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Because I got high because I got high because I got hiii

23/9 2018
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Uncle, you’re making a mess in our pen

23/9 2018
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This is a bit of before/after. You can see the pallet underlay, and then with tiles on top. Got that one tile leftover. Maybe I’ll put it as a bridge between the platforms. Or on the ground between the platforms, althoug then I’ll have to move the right-hand platform because there isn’t enough room between them. Anyway, it’s fun to have something to do, and new stuff for goats to goat on.

23/9 2018
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Sky is taking a break from the hard work of supervising.

23/9 2018
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That’s all for this week.

You want to trust religion
And you know it’s allegory
But the people who are followers
Have written their own story
So you look up to the heavens
And you hope that it’s a spaceship
And it’s something from your childhood
You’re thinking don’t be frightened

10/9 2018
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I need to find the nexus of the worlds, the silver pillars. Some way back to the world I was from.
10/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Have a Mads Monday eeveryone.

10/9 2018
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Good goat times today. The forecast said there was a chance of rain, but we kept dry apart from a single drop or two. The temperature around 18C/64F. The hot hot summer and drought is over, but as long as it’s t-shirt weather then I’m happy. And when the sun came out today it was still quite summerly.
Took the goats out to the green nook, and we ventured further into the wilderness to new parts hitherto unvisited. Fresh greens, mm. Then back to the goat pen for relaxing. Actually, I worked hard. I made a new platform. Brought in a pallet as bottom layer and then six heaby pavement tiles on top. Works really well. I think I’m going to redo the first platform to put a pallet under that too. But those tiles are heavy lifting! I left the gate to the pen open while I did it, and suddenly we had little visitors. A kindergarten group. The goats went to the fence and got some admiration. And then one of the adults brought leaves for the kids to give to the goats. It didn’t take too long though, before the goats realised that the gate was open and they could get the leaves quicker without a fence in the way. Suddenly the air was filled with the terrified screams of traumatized children. While the goats tried to get them to understand that “if you just drop those leaves I will totally ignore you, I’m vegetarian I’m not interested in eating you”. Well, I got Mia back in the pen and closed the gate. Let the pygmies stay out for a little. They are less frightening and the kids happily petted them. The terrified little ones soothed by the comfort of tiny goats. I know that feel.
10/9 2018
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Do I have a little goat on me?

10/9 2018
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Oh yeah

10/9 2018
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The kids trying out the new platform. Spot the grandma!

10/9 2018
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My baseline right now is ‘I wish I was dead’. Or, ‘I wish Iwas not here’. The world is just shit and everything turns to shit and people open their mouths and shit pours out hashtag shithole. . It’s not even the sadness and depression I have known before. It’s more.. givingupness. What’s the point? What is there to be here for, what is there that won’t turn to shit? How long before I’m completely blind, before i am completely alone, before the world is paved over and evil wins? I do my best to distract myself from it all, but it always returns to the baseline. It’s like jumping on a trampoline. A trampoline of shit. When you’re up in the air then it’s fine, it’s kinda fun. You’re jumping on a trampoline. Whee. But sooner or later you go back down in the shit. You hit the baseline. And you start to feel like you’re carrying sacks of potatoes or anvils. And gravity is a giant disembodied hand pulling at your legs. It gets exhausting when there’s always a power greater than yourself dragging you down into the shits. You jump and you jump and you jump but you start wondering for how long you can keep jumping. And your boots get shitty and your metaphors outlast their welcome. And you kinda just want to stop jumping, and just lay down in the shit and let it cover you..
Don’t worry, this isn’t a cry for help. Not going to do anything stupid. Just had to get that off my chest to lighten the load. I’m high as a kite. Thank you for all the helium you give me, it helps me stay up in the air longer. Maybe some day I will grow wings, a chemical reaction. I’m blessed in many ways, just gotta keep sight of that. Here’s to a better day, let’s flush the shit now the toilet is fixed.
10/9 2018
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Wind beneath my wings

10/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone. Thank you for listening to me and being supportive. Counting my blessings, you and the goats are chief amongst them. <3

11/9 2018
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Great. Now my toilet is running. Had to call the service number. I think they’re sending a plumber? I don’t know how to human.
11/9 2018
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Plumblumber’s here! Oh thank goodness. I don’t like having humans over. But I was worried I’d fudged the call and that everything was wrong because I’m horrible. You know the stuff. At least now it should get fixed. Probably. Unless everything exploded because of the methane buildup. Or something.
11/9 2018
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Better with goats.

11/9 2018
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At least the plumbing took my mind off the shit.
Wait, that sounds wrong.
But yeah, feeling a little better mentally. We’ll see how long I can stay in the air. Thank you everyone for being you everyone. Please accept this free voucher good for one smooch in my kissing booth, or the dollar equivalent.
I really do appreciate you all, even if I’m not good at showing it.
11/9 2018
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“N. K. Jemisin Verified account @nkjemisin
I stopped posting 9/11 remembrances years ago, because it’s become increasingly clear that Bin Laden achieved exactly what he wanted with that attack — a US faltering under the weight of its own fear and hatred, stoked further by cynical billionaire-funded power plays.”
.
Loaded your world up with so many guns that you’re more likely to be killed by a toddler with a gun than by a terrorist attack. Do you feel safe? Well, do ya punk?
11/9 2018
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Don’t let the real world get in your head. There’s only room for goats.

12/9 2018
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A little cuteness with the kids
link: Milo Sky video
12/9 2018
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What if the dreams are reality and every time I ‘wake up’ everyone is wondering where the heck I am? They must think I have a second secret family two towns over or something, since I keep disappearing.
430 miles, follow the schisma. There’s a wrinkle in time, a disturbance in the force, space is folding in on itself. Does anyone else smell purple?
12/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

12/9 2018
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Prison Bleat

12/9 2018
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Alternate Star Wars timeline where the imperials throw Han into a pit with a rancor instead of Chewie. Flashforward to Han having a rancor copilot. Always let the rancor win.
12/9 2018
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Always let the goat win

12/9 2018
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What the truck?!!
link: goats truck video
12/9 2018
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It’s a good thing that my head is so light, what with it being full of air.

12/9 2018
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Good goat times today. I almost didn’t make it out in the morning. Not because I was more depressed than usual, but because I was having wonderful, vivid dreams. I just wanted to stay in bed all day and dream more. But luckily I had to go to the bathroom and luckily I managed to tell myself that instead of going back to bed to dream more it would be smarter to jump in the shower and take a trip to Goat Town. Once I’m there I always wonder why I’d want to be anywhere else. Some good grazing, good relaxing, some platform rearrangement (managed to drop a tile one my finger again, at least it wasn’t one of the heaviest doublethick ones. But still. Clumsy human won’t rest until all his fingers have fallen off).
I love being with those goats so much. You have no idea. If they seem cute and funny in videos, they are evern better in person. Constant cuddles and silliness. My constants. I don’t understand why animal therapy isn’t more of a thing. I know it’s a thing, but it should be more. Especially for mentally challenged people, as myself. Being with animals just melts all the worry and pain away. I love our open Danish playgrounds with animals. There should be more, not less. All kids should have places near them where they can go and be with animals. Learn to take care of them and respect them and have fun with them. They are not lesser beings, they are pure. Pure goodness fo goodness sake.
*gets off soapbox* *gets mauled by gang of vicious cuddling goats*
13/9 2018
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Hey, how’d you get in there?!

13/9 2018
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Very concerned goaties watching the human drag heavy things around in their pen.

13/9 2018
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Hope everyone is safe in the oncoming weather out there. Remember, have plenty of paper towels. Paper towels are all you need in a hurricane. Just fucking tons of paper towels. It’s not like thousands could have died if you were there handing out paper towels. ¤%#¤/%& Piece of shit excuse for a human being.
13/9 2018
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Hi, we heard you needed a distraction?

13/9 2018
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love your loves

13/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s a little baby Nougat from 2006.

14/9 2018
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I like that the argument against convicted criminals being allowed to vote is that they don’t have good judgment. Meanwhile show me a politician (on any side) who isn’t actively lying, getting caught cheating, doing the best to fatten their own pockets, acting like children, being just generally awful people. Jesus christ, if having morals was a prerequisite for voting you might as well call off all human elections. I’d trust a weed smoker over an NRA member any day.
14/9 2018
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Don’t blame me, I voted for goats.

14/9 2018
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Three Ithorians walk into a cantina…
14/9 2018
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Strike a pose

14/9 2018
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goatlog

14/9 2018
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Special premium content for our valued subscribers! Unedited behind-the-scenes footage of the goats watching me work on the platforms. Watch in super HD how the goats just stand there. And watch. And nothing happens. You may want to sit down before starting this action-packed video!
(Spoiler alert: Nothing happens)
link: goats watch me video
14/9 2018
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Seeing the same posts over and over again really makes me want to spend more time on Facebook. Way to go, algorithm!
Also, getting barely a 100 views for videos on a page with 10,000+ Likes really makes me want to spend money to get the videos pushed out to the people that ought to be seeing them. Way to go, business model!
I just love everything, everything is great!
#StonedChildrensTV
14/9 2018
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A scene of horses

15/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

15/9 2018
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That thing when you get an email from a website with the subject line “HIDDEN DISCOUNTS”. Come on, man. They aren’t hidden if you’re literally emailing people about them.
I also enjoy that one webshop that keeps trying to get me to buy stuff by offering me free socks. Sheesh. I’m on their mailing list because I sometimes buy from them. But a free pair of socks? You think i’m going to go on a shopping spree to qualify for a free pair of forking socks? I live in Denmark. We have free health care, free schools, free lunch, free willy. If I want a free pair of socks I’ll knit them from my own goat’s wool.
15/9 2018
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Goofy McGoof Goofs.

15/9 2018
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Just went on a little shopping spree. As you might have noticed if you watch my videos I don’t exactly refresh my wardrobe often. You can watch videos that are 5+ years old and I’ll be wearing the same stuff I wear today. I have basically 8 black shirts that I cycle through. And a couple of pairs of winter pants that I wear all year round because they have awesome pockets. I have long since stopped caring about my appearance. No sense fighting for a lost cause.
Anyway. Just ordered 5 new shirts for my collection. I had to limit myself. There were like 20 that I wanted. Various pop culture stuff. Blade Runner, Robocop, Alien, Lord of the rings. Wolfram hart, Mr Robot, star wars. A particular thing I really like are shirts with brands from within the universes. Tyrell corporation, Blastech industries, OCP, Cyberdyne Systems. Big Ed’s Gas Farm. Haha. I love those kind of fictional brands and stores. The Overlook Hotel, Shawshank guard, Evil Corps. Especially big sinister sci-fi corporations, for some reason.
Had to get myself fsociety and Twin Peaks owl symbol shirts, those were my main targets. So watch out for new shirts in the future, assuming they fit. I’ll have to stop trying to lose weight now, otherwise I’ll have to buy even more shirts.
15/9 2018
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Hey now, henow. Don’t dream it’s Danny Glover.

15/9 2018
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Don’t you just hate when your waiter just wants to take selfies with you instead of serving you food? #CelebrityGoatLife

15/9 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

16/9 2018
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It’s getting a little crowded here…

16/9 2018
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goatlog

16/9 2018
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I accidentally updated my Firefox to the newest version, so now I have to perform an exorcism. Does anyone have some garlic and crucifixes I can borrow? BEGONE FOUL DEVIL I CAST THEE OUTHH.
For some reason someone somewhere decided to make it a rule that “you have to keep changing to stay relevant” hence why every single thing in history never stays good, if and when it reaches status of good it keeps evolving and inevitably gets worse and worse. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a bitter old man who hates change, now get off my lawn or I’ll call the cops.
16/9 2018
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At least goats stay great. Don’t change a winning formula.

16/9 2018
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Denmark halts digital voting trials due to fears of Russian interference.
But tell me again how something’s rotten in Denmark.
link: article
16/9 2018
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Look what I got! A funny goat book! And I think I recognise some of the faces in there… Thank you so much Deborah Ladd ! That put a cookiesized smile on my face!
link: book video
16/9 2018
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Lurking in the shadows

16/9 2018
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That’s all for this week.