The Christmas
Today will be a good day. Here’s Lakrids from 2008.
17/12 2018
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Good goat times today. It was one of those mornings where I had to engage the Gollum in my head in debate, but I managed to win the argument and head out to the goats instead of going back to bed. Because of that I was a little late, which gave me the opportunity to sneak up on the goaties as they were already out in the pen. One of my favourite things is Mia’s braying when she spots me. So funny and cute. And then the excited run to the fence. Well, for three of them. With a certain fourth one making her ample way slightly less rushed.
I let them all out for some grazing. The snow is gone and the ground is dry enough for the grass to attractive. It may not be great this time of year, but now that I think about it, it’s still better than it was in summer. When it was scorched away by the record heat. So the goats happily grazed away. We had a few visitors. Little ones excitedly petting the goats. There was one boy who kept saying “birds! birds!”. I think that’s a first. They’ve been called sheep, cows, horses, cats and dogs. Not sure they’ve been called birds before. Well, a goat by any other name still bleats as sweet.
17/12 2018
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For those of you who asked about Lakrids. Here she is with her sister Chokolade. Chocolate and Licorice. Daughters of Magnethe. From a time when my eyesight was so bad that I didn’t take too many pictures, and before the Facebook page was started, so that’s why you probably don’t remember them or see them a lot in the flashback posts. Perfectly cute baby goaties, though. I don’t think it’s possible to make a baby goat that isn’t cute and doesn’t make you happy just to be around them.
17/12 2018
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Still grazing after all these years
17/12 2018
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You think Santa hangs out in Superman’s Fortress Of Solitude when it’s available?
17/12 2018
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changed his relationship status to space heater
17/12 2018
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Turning off the machines, letting the wires sleep. Tempted to tuck myself into a box and shipping myself to that warehouse from Raiders Of The Lost Ark, but I guess my bed will do.
17/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone
18/12 2018
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Uh oh. Got a package slip from the postman. A package from America. But the sticker thing that’s supposed to go on the package is still attached to the slip. Which means… potential problem. Without that sticker they can’t match the package to the slip. Well, we’ll see. If you’re from the US and you sent me a package, cross your fingers.
18/12 2018
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Hmm, I wonder if Danish kids today still believe that Santa lives in Greenland? When I was a kid that was just the defacto standard, a natural truth. Santa lives in Greenland. End of story. But nowadays with the world being smaller and kids probably having their own tablets and smartphones from birth, they probably get a lot of mixed signals from the outside world. Like untrue stories about Santa living on the North Pole. Which is not true, as everyone knows. Hmm. I don’t even know. Also, I wonder if Superman’s fortress of solitude is actually in Greenland. Also why isn’t Greenland green amirite lol.
18/12 2018
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In case you were wondering, giraffes are becoming endangered.
Please nobody tell Trump’s kids about that.
Who needs nature anyway. Salt the earth, maximise the profits.
link: giraffee article
18/12 2018
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As long as I have goat company..
btw, grandma Mio is ceo of the Goat Company.
18/12 2018
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goatlog
18/12 2018
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It’s important to have a safeword in social sifuations. Like if we’re having a conversation and I say “GO AWAY” you have to stop and go away.
18/12 2018
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Fluffybutt background cameo
18/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump day everyone
19/12 2018
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Good goat times today. Cold, though. Pretty cold. Pretty pretttty cold.
I had some sneaky plans for the goats, but they didn’t work out as I had hoped. I already knew chances of it working out were slim, since it involved all four of them behaving well at the same time with no shenanigoats. So that was never likely to happen. I thought maybe I could do it with one goat at a time and then photoshop it together, like those photos of me and my clone holding a baby each. But even that did not work. I can say no more as I don’t want to spoil the surprise. Hopefully I still got some stuff I can use, even if I couldn’t get the sneaky plan to fruition. Anyway, you’ll find out in a week’s time. Nothing groundbreaking, don’t worry.
Got some good grazing done. Grandma gave me some exercise with a couple of trips into the communal gardens. Had to chase her with the leash. I am so out of shape right now. I just want to get through Fatmas and New Fatyear’s Evefat. Then I have to get the diet on track and exercise again. And then around September 2019 I will have lost the holiday weight, just in time for the next holiday. It’s the circle of fat life. Can’t even keep pace with grandma right now.
19/12 2018
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Oh no, someone teleported Sky away. Hope Milo isn’t next.
19/12 2018
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Something good and something bad happened today.
The bad is that someone has thrown some kind of fireworks into my mailbox in the hall downstairs. At least it’s not in my apartment. But it’s still annoying. I went to check my mail this morning and it wouldn’t open. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, my key would turn. I had to force it pretty hard then I got it opened. Nothing inside but soot and scraps of firecrackers, or whatever it was. At least the mailbox didn’t blow to pieces. Some oil should get the lock to work better. And thankfully there was no mail in there, they could have started a fire. Ash holes. Yeah, I really don’t like fireworks. I don’t know if it was only my mailbox that was hit, you couldn’t really tell from the outside.
The good thing was that I managed to get that package I was worried about. Not without some trouble, though. As I had feared, the fact that the sticker from the mail slip hadn’t been put on the package meant it was lost in the system. The nice lady at the post office, I believe her name is Kirsten, looked for it but couldn’t find it. I gave her all the info I had on it and she told me she’d keep looking and call me when she found it. She said I shouldn’t expect her to call in the first hour or two. Well, I was worried it would take days or weeks or be gone altogether. But she sounded pretty assured that she’d find it. And about an hour aftter I’d gotten home she called to say she had it. So that was a relief. I went down to pick it up. By then the post office was a lot busier. More people working at the counter. A young man was giving me the package, and he asked to see my ID. But Kirsten came over and interrupted, saying “no no that’s fine”. Haha. Yeah, she and another, younger, lady know me by name. I guess it’s because I stand out a bit. Being a scruffy looking, goat smelling, blind weirdo. So they remember me and don’t ask for ID when I pick up packages. They’re always very nice to me, it’s one of those little things that just make you feel a little happier with everything. Good people. And I’m glad the package wasn’t lost. Got it back with me safely.
What was in the package? Weeeell, I’ll leave that as a cliffhanger for now. I need to take some pictures, but first I need to grab something to eat. Also I have been typing for four days and my fingers are in need of bandages and one of those fishbaths that eat dead flesh. jk.
19/12 2018
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Look what I done diddily doodly done picked up at the postofficarouny! Oh my. Thank you so much Pamela Smotherman ! A selection of goodies for the goats, peanuts, raisins, berries, pasta. I know some goaties that are going to get spoiled rotten! Moreso even! And a few sweets for uncle and a lovely card. And a really cool hoodie! Sorry, as always the photos aren’t great. The hoodie says G.O.A.T., which we all know stands for Goatest Of aLl Time! It’s really warm and comfy. It’ll probably be good for when temperatures get milder, between coat and t-shirt weather. Or maybe even under the coat right now. In any case it is really soft and nice. Thnak you so much for thinking of us! Perfect christmas package!
19/12 2018
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Super tired. Off to bed. Meanwhile, outside fireworks going off. Sigh. Sometimes I hear a big bang nearby, I guess one of those was my mailbox sometime yesterday. I wish it was spring. Anyway, don’t forget to reboot the Earth’s gravitational axis while I’m gone. I don’t want to wake up
Wait, was I supposed to finish that sentence?
19/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.
20/12 2018
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silent goatlog
20/12 2018
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Hypothetically speaking, I ate pizza
20/12 2018
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When the human reaches for the treatbag
20/12 2018
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Brb, working on my Dempsey And Makepeace cosplay
20/12 2018
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Crowdpleasers
20/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Fuzzy from 2016.
21/12 2018
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One year since the little ones showed up on our doorstep
link: Milo and Sky memory
21/12 2018
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Man, all your homeless veterans must feel real good about the millions donated to the Gofundme wall campaign. That’s gotta be a nice kick in the teeth for Christmas. Does the wall have to be one long stretch? Maybe the wall could be sort of arranged in sections. Of four connected wall per section. With a wall layed down on top of it. You know, as a roof. For a house. For homeless people. You know?
21/12 2018
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Think goat thoughts
21/12 2018
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My first meeting with the little ones.
link: meeting Milo and Sky video
21/12 2018
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I’m getting myself fat for christmas
21/12 2018
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Don’t you want to come inside? In here we all float. I mean, goat.
21/12 2018
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Every now and then I have to listen to this. Even if it’s once a year.
21/12 2018
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Ugh. Steamlettingofftime.
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Just stupid word vomit, do not approach.
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Facebook, I know you take a dump on our privacy and all that, but forcing this Creator Studio and Content Library on my page is making me want to cancel my Facebook much more than your evilness. As a visually impaired person I can say with great clarity that everything always gets worse and big companies are dumd and humanity needs to go sit in the corner.
Also thoughts and prayers for Justice Ginsburg. For real. What a forked up system when you have to pray for the health of an elderly lady because otherwise everything else will go to heck. Maybe I’ll lose some American friends over it, but I’m just going to say it. Your electoral college is dumb. Your supreme court is dumb. Lifetime appointment? That’s forking nuts and how can you trust them to the highest court when it’s all power games and bias, not to mention Mr Rapey Beerguy. And giving judge positions to people who the association deem “not qualified” just because it doesn’t even matter if they know the law, all that matters is that they’re on your sisde so they’ll pass the judgments that you want to have passed. How can you trust justice depends on a non-qualified judge rushed through the system to fill the empty seats before you lose your majority god darn mudder forker. Meanwhile all the rats are either leaving Trump’s sinking ship or, just ratting him out. Pulling out of everywhere, not joining in the climate agreements. Forkling the forking world over. While a disabled vet gathers millions in donations, not for disabled vets but for a dumb forking wall that Mexico was supposed to pay for, but I don’t know I guess they just found a few trillion in the budget? Not like tha’ts going to screw the future kids over, not like the environment is going to screw the future kids over, not kids are already beng let to die as a warning to immigrants to stay away, not like the giraffes are dying out, not like everything is going to god damn motherfucking shit god damn motherfucker arg.h
I’ll probably be banned from Facebook now that they have ne wcontent guidelines and w can’t use dirty words, meanwhile they’re letting microsoft and google and apple read our private messages and everything is bad and do you realise the Postman was set in 2013? So we made it 5 years longer than that, but surely the apocalypse is here any minute now. We can’t even have Tom Petty as a city mayor, we can’t even have that.
Oooohkay
deep breath.
Let’s see if I get banned for this. Maybe I’ll move my whole goatposting empire to twitter. Or fax. Give me your fax numbers and I’ll fax you a daily goat photo how bout dat.
21/12 2018
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Goatpost to cleanse the palate. Make sure you have paper in your fax machine.
21/12 2018
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We apologise, but your designated Lasse unit seems to have blown a fuse. We regret to inform you that he will be suffering a short downtime while refill the flux capacitator and try to troubleshoot the logic algorithm. Do not be alarmed, in case of total malfunction you will be reissued an old milk carton filled with used matches as a replacement. We appreciate your understanding. If you have any concerns please direct them towards the black hole that has suddenly become visible in the sky above your planet.
Beep. Now that that’s out of my system.. Going to make it an early Friday bedtime. There’s a Mulligan & O’Hare reunion tour in my dreams and I don’t want to miss it. See you on the flipside with a bowl of cereal and a licorice pipe. Puff puff, you fools of a Took. The magic Gandalf dragon is lit af. Ain’t no party like a Barlog party cause a Balrog party don’t stop ball rocking.
I… don’t even know what i’m saying anymore. Insert coin for player 2.
21/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.
22/12 2018
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I was just thinking what a beautiful thing the Earth is. If you took away the humans, I mean. But it’s gorgeous. Filled with oceans and forests and all kinds of environments. And the animals. When you stop to think of it, isn’t it amazing that we have all these animals. Some of them are so weird and bizarre, some of them are so cute and cuddly, some of them are so wicked cool. It’s a pretty amazing place. There are amazing things about humans too, but unfortunately we come with the whole “imprison and murder the animals, cut down the trees, pollute the oceans, build our ugly homes everywhere” part too. I guess you can’t really have a human race without all that? I mean, we’re never going to go “okay, that’s enough. We have what we need, let’s remain at this level of civilization”. We’re always going to take more, until there’s nothing left to take. Even now, with scientists saying we’re 20 years from catastrophic climate events, there’s still no way the whole world would come together to reverse course. I mean, we’ll do some stuff. But we won’t do whatever it takes. We won’t go above and beyond to do good things. We won’t even really stop doing the bad things. We’ll make up quotas to show how much of the bad stuff we can keep doing. And listen to the one guy with the blog who says climate change is a hoax instead of listening to the entire scientific community that says it’s real. And nevermind that the guy with a blog has a family coal mining business.
Anyway. The point is 1) The Earth is forking awesome and 2) humans are kind of a drag.
22/12 2018
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goatlog
22/12 2018
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Look what I done diddily doodley got in the mailboxkablooey! A beautiful card from Joan Desirée Thaisen Lowe and family ! Thank you so much! As I have said many times before, I love your family, I have loved seeing it grow. Thank you for thinking of me. Tak for jer <3
Joan is one of my oldest internet friends, one of those that came before the goats and the facebooks. (Yes, there was a me before goats, I know it might be hard to imagine for my current friendsies!) Oldskool diaryland represent. Look it up, kids.
It’s a privilige to get to see people grow up, grow older, the things that change, the things that stay the same. I have several female friends from back in those days, who are mothers now. I have said this before too, but It’s kind of a magical thing to witness. I may never have kids of my own quite likely, but I love seeing the beautiful families that my friends have made, and are making. It gives me that little bit of hope for the future, knowing there are great people raising kids. That’s gotta make a difference for the future. Literally, it has to. The future has to be better, for them.
Also I don’t know if you know, Joan, but I think you’re an amazing person, and whenever you say something nice about me it makes me happy because I can’t be the worst person in the world if someone like you thinks I’m alright. It really does mean a lot to me. I have a hard time seeing worth in myself, so I’m always a little amazed when others do.
The fact that you all, around the world, care about me. It means a lot to me.
SORRY DIDN’T MEAN TO GET MUSHY. I’m like mashed potatoes over here.
PS. I’ve got more stuff in the mail, more thank-you posts coming later today or tomorrow. Gotta get pics of it all, but first food in my mouth.
22/12 2018
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Look what else I also done got in the mailboxdoohickey! Thank you so much Lisa Edwards ! A really cool Australia shirt. If only it was Australia temperatures right now! Also a lovely card, keychain and TimTams! I will definitely enjoy the TimTams more than the vegemite mwaha. Hope you make it here in 2020, if the world still stands. Thank you for thinking of me. You are all way too good to me. I’m going to have myself a TimTam now and pretend like I deserve it!
22/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.
23/12 2018
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I think the Yeti Illuminati is on to me…
23/12 2018
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When the cashier comments on your unhealthy purchases, but she’s so nice and sweet that all you can do is mumble “yeah haha christmas shopping..”, as if you weren’t buying the same stuff a month ago.
Just gotta get over new years. Then I need to shape up. I’m in bad shape right now. Like heart-attack from walking up the stairs bad shape. I seriously need to improve.
23/12 2018
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Look, more from the mailboxdoofus! A couple of lovely cards from Cindy Porter and Kathleen Murphy ! Thank you both so much for thinking of me! I’m feeling like Mr Popularity over here. PS don’t tell Mrs Popularity that I’m getting cards from other ladies, she’s the jealous type. Honestly, we’re only staying together for the gingerbread kids.
23/12 2018
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Also another thank you to Beverly Fish for this lovely card! It was included with the package she sent me earlier this month, with instructions not to open till December. Well, I made it to the 23rd! Thank you again, Beverly! A smil that keeps on smiling.
23/12 2018
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Heading to bed early tonight. Tomorrow is Christmas in Denmark. Hope everyone is doing alright out there. I know the holidays can be a trying time. Thank you all for making mine so merry.
23/12 2018
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Today will be a good day. Merry Christmas from Denmark.
24/12 2018
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Hope everyone is having a jolly time. I am leaving now for the traditional Henriksen Christmas celebration. Nothing special, just my parents and brother and I. How we do.
Catch yule all later. Please stop hitting me, it’s christmas for the love o
24/12 2018
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Back from the Christmas party at my parents house. Our usual, quiet celebration. Just hanging out and having some dinner and dessert, the four of us. I’m not the social type, when it comes to humans, but it’s always nice to get together like that. We’re all getting older and we all have our health issues. So you have to appreciate the time that we have togehter still.
I don’t want to be petty, but I have to raise some serious concerns about theis years risalamande. As dad remarked when we dug in “I feel like Lasse always wins this”. By winning he meant finding the whole almond to claim the prize. Well, this year I didn’t win. My mom did. And my dad did. WTF? TWO ALMONDS. There’s supposed to be one. it’s like Lord of hte Rings. One almond to rule them all. Either a grave mistake was made, or …well I’m not pointing any fingers. But. I feel an external audit is in order.
Actually, I guess I can let it go. Because this year there were 4 prizes. So everyone got a prize. And in the end, I guess that’s all that matters. That and love and happiness, or something i dont know.
Hope you have all had or are having or will be having a good time, christmassy or not. You are a gift that keeps on giving. It’s like I found the almond of friendship. Shala la laa
24/12 2018
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I did not take any pictures or video this year (I even missed the Disney julesjov, sniffle). But here’s my most liked photo from last years’ Christmas. Me, my brother Peter, my mother Anni and my father Kaj. That’s right, I come from a human family. I know most of you had your money on goats.
link: Family photo
24/12 2018
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That’s all for this time.