Today will be a good day. Get yours now, pay later!
10/7 2017
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Good goat times today. Cloudy with a chance of goofballs. The clouds kept the direct sun out but they weren’t enough to make it a dark day, so that was something at least. The day got off to a quite disastrous start. I forgot the treatbag! Oh noooo! I got all flustered in the morning because they turned off the water in my building without warning. I get anxiety when stuff like that happens because it means I might have to deal with people and junk. I don’t like people and junk. So I got so flumoxed that I left the treatbag (two treatbags actually, one with peanuts and one with raisins) on my kitchen table when I left. What a horror. Luckily I remembered the bag with tomatoes and bananas, so I didn’t get lynched by an angry goat mob. I was the first one there so I fed the goats inside. Mio was in a crabby mood and was snorting up a storm at Mia. And poor Mia got the food bucket stuck around her neck and then Mio chasing after her to get in the bucket. Oh dear oh dear. Safely outside it was a pretty lazy day. No visitors at all. The goaties did a lot of grazing. Later on Anne came by. She said she was taking care of the goats, I guess because it’s vacation now. It’s been a while since I saw her last, so that was nice. She brought carrots for the goats. Since there are no horses to eat the carrots right now.
To my amusement I discovered today that the goats are scared of my shoes. I was sitting down with my legs stretched out. And I was sort of flipping my feet back and forth, for no particular reason. And the goats goat all worked up, starting at my shoes. I thought to myself I thought “you can’t be scared of my shoes, guys?!” so I started dragging my feet through the dirt towards them to see, and yeah they both bolted to a safe distance and stared intently at the devil shoes as if thinking “those shoe-shaped mini dinosaurs are getting ready to attack us”. Oh dear, oh dear. Guess I better keep my legs tucked in so those dastardly shoes don’t disturb anyone. It’s funny how they didn’t realise that -I- was the one moving those shoes around.
Mio also got spooked by something else later I think. Suddenly she started bucking around like a horse at a rodeo. It would have been hilarious except I was a little worried something had happend to her. I couldn’t see anything wrong, though. I think a bug must have landed on her and freaked her out. Oh dear, oh dear. Life is fraught with danger round these parts.
10/7 2017
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What do you mean you forgot the treats?!

10/7 2017
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“When did he lose his marbles?”
Gard, I love Albert. Miguel Ferrer was a treasure.
10/7 2017
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This was before they realised that my shoes were the devil’s instruments.

10/7 2017
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I never appear in any of those “who are your 9 naughtiest friends” things.
So, I guess I’ve been covering my tracks pretty well.
10/7 2017
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Look, we can sit here and argue about who has too much time on his hands and whether he’s addicted to pizza or not and whether his name is pronounced Lassie or not, but I think we should just all move on and stop looking at me like that.

10/7 2017
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Today will be a good day.
11/7 2017
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You better have treats.

11/7 2017
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Well, I for one am glad that this whole Russia thing turned out to be fake news.
What could possibly go wrong when you choose to trust someone who is proven to be lying all the time.
11/7 2017
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Hello, I am a high quality person. Please teach me how to shake your hand as a human.
11/7 2017
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Heading to bed. Feeling somewhat better. Not nauseated right now. Maybe I’m now fully adjusted to the new meds and am a high quality person. We can always hope! Now I just need to find a pill that can help me not waste time on stupid things. I’ll go look on twitter.
11/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

12/7 2017
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I definitely have no ties to pizza.
12/7 2017
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I know, I know. I heard the news about the giant iceberg from Antarctica too. But I’m not letting that get in the way of the maiden voyage of our glorious Titanic 2.0. I have a good feeling about this!
12/7 2017
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Grazn

12/7 2017
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I always think of you as the one who got away.
Curse these plastic handcuffs, next time I’m getting real ones.
12/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Snorks up.
13/7 2017
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Good goat times today. Lovely and sunny, although with a harsh wind. Made for a cool morning, but as the sun broke down the thin cloud cover the day got quite warm. I was a little worried about A38 in the morning. She didn’t want to eat her goat pills. But then she did want treats, lots of treats. I guess it’s just like a kid who doesn’t want dinner but just wants the dessert. Also she wanted bananas and tomatoes and was happily munching away when I went and got a lot of branches with fresh leaves for the gang.
I forget how it came up, but talk came to Peanut when Anne arrived later on. She was talking about how he used to escape. “Yeah, surely these fences couldn’t hold him” I asked. “Not even a little bit” she replied. We had taller fences at the old place and that was never enough. I wish I could go see him now. He must be a big, giant goat master. By far the most accomplished goat boy I’ve ever known.
Anne also remarked “if I have to answer whether she’s pregnant ONE more time…” hinting at Mio. Haha. Yup, me too. In fact I had to answer that very question earlier in the day when a visitor came by. It never fails. Almost everyone asks. Thankully only about 50% ask if I’m pregnant.
13/7 2017
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Yogi and the Rock. The perfect buddy comedy.

13/7 2017
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now go back into the dark woods

13/7 2017
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My friend Jim ate all the pizza. Send more pizza.
13/7 2017
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Turning off for today. If you have any questions please forward them to Jim Jimson. Good old Jim-Jim Jimbaree will sort you right out. Ah I love that guy. Sir Jimsalot. The Jimbone quartet. The Jimson Pimpernell. Jim Jimshakalaka. [The Simpsons Theme] The Jiiiimsons [/The Simpsons Theme].
Remind me some day to tell you about some of the adventures I’ve had with Jim. We go way back. We used to sit up all night and watch Candle Cove on the telly. And one time we built a snowman and it came alive and we flew and he sang this pretty song and that gum I like came back in style. Love ya, Jimnaut!
Oh relax, kids. I’ve got a gut feeling that Jim is around here somewhere.
After all isn’t there a little Jim in all of us?
In fact you might even say we just ate Jim and he’s in our stomachs right now!
13/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Only love for all beings
14/7 2017
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Watch out, A38. You got two great whites on your tail. *Jaws theme*

14/7 2017
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MY FAVOURITE PIZZA PLACE IS BACK. This is not a drill. This is not a drill. They’ve been closed for weeks. *crumbles diet plan into a ball and throws it on the fireplace*
14/7 2017
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goatlog

14/7 2017
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Do not accept a friend request from Kid Rock. You’ll end up suffering the horrible fate of being friends with Kid Rock.
Etc.
14/7 2017
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You guys are going to find out eventually anyway, so in an effort to be completely transparent I’m just going to tell you right now that yes, my friend Jim ‘The Jimshorts’ Jimson WAS in that meeting with Trump Jr and the Russians. But that’s definitely the only ties he has to Russia and I swear my life upon it, unless the biased snowflake media uncovers more in which case note to self delete this post.
Also, in an effort to be completely transparent I’m going to paint myself with this Invisible Paint that I bought from a drifter at the county fair for my life savings. Now… where did I put it. Sharks, how do you find invisible paint? I should have asked him to put it in some kind of container…
15/7 2017
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If you get a friend request from a Jim Jimson, don’t accept it. He’s my friend and I don’t want to share him with anyone.
15/7 2017
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If you get a friend request from Today then go ahead and accept it because it will be a good day.
15/7 2017
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Just a couple of kooks

15/7 2017
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Happy thoughts

15/7 2017
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Off to bed early. I’m amazed I made it this far, I’ve been looking forward to going to bed all day. Not because I’m feeling bad. Just because I want to go to dreamland and sleep. Perfectly normal, right? See you tomorrow, and if you happen to see Jim can you tell him he left his fluffy slippers here? That’s Jim for ya, always forgetting stuf lol!!
(We’re still a couple of days away from the point when the Jim stuff starts getting creepy. But don’t worry. We’ll get there).
15/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

16/7 2017
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The lady in white

16/7 2017
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Mary Poppins Returns? Eh, call me when Mrs Doubtfire returns.
16/7 2017
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A FEMALE doctor? That’s crazy! Women can’t be doctors! *twiddles handlebar moustache and rides away on one of those bicycles with one giant wheel and one tiny*
16/7 2017
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A38 is old and wise, she knows not to fight gravity.

16/7 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

Today will be a good day. Go forth and make it so, for as many as possible.
3/7 2017
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Day 3 of Willy Wonka’s pill factory. Nausea seems to have lessened. Maybe because I ate half a banana with the pill. Or maybe because I slept for 14 hours last night. Or maybe because Earth’s rotation is slowly slowing down like the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. You never know. There are some bad news, though. My favourite pizza place was closed all last week, and it’s closed today too which means it’s probably going to be closed all week again. I guess they’re on holiday. There really ought to be a law against that. It’s a good thing I’m hopped up on happy pills or I’d be sad about that.
3/7 2017
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It’s my goal in life to get as relaxed as A38. And find someone to feed me treats.

3/7 2017
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goatlog

3/7 2017
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Maybe it’s a good thing there was no new episode of Twin Peaks this week. If I had watched episode 8 while high on the new meds I might have ended up in the cuckoo’s nest.
3/7 2017
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Diane, what if we are all ants suffering from the delusion that we’re humans? Maybe this is all just a mass psychosis. I don’t know, I think I may be on to something.
3/7 2017
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Meanwhile, in the ant hill:
“Hey guys, what if we’re all humans suffering from the delusion that we’re ants?!”
3/7 2017
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I like to say to myself “Well I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong” right around the time it looks like things are about to go wrong in the movie or TV show I’m watching.
4/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy the 4th to my American friends. Don’t blow it all up, you maniacs.
4/7 2017
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Good goat times today. Quite lovely and sunny. Pleasantly warm, although I’d like some summer heat. But a fine day to spend with goats. We had lots of visitors today. Probably because it’s summer vacation so all the parents and grandparents can take their kids out early in the day when I’m also typically out with the goats. There was a group arriving just as I got there, I think it was daycare group. They were a bit loud. Making those excited/terrified squeals that some kids expell when seeing the goats. And one kid was very adamant that the goats should know what they were. Poitning at them going “GOATS! GOATS! GOATS!”. Or maybe it was a cheer. Mio stood calmly and let them pet her as much as they wanted. She’s a saint. One of their grownups kept going “No, don’t poke it in the eye. No, don’t stick your finger up its nose. No, don’t pull its horns.”. And Mio just stood there, happily. She’s a perfect petting goat.
The goats were much adored and I got to answer questions, and smile a lot. A woman I see often came by with some kids and said hi. She oftens brings some bread for the horses. And always calls out to me. It’s nice when they remember you, and even know your name.
I’d been feeling quite good, but after a couple of hours I started feeling a bit queasy. Not too bad. But still, I thought I’d better head home just in case it got worse. But then more people arrived! And their kids wanted to feed the goats and it was a whole big thing and too funny to leave. So I stayed a while longer. Worth it.
4/7 2017
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Beautiful day in the goathood

4/7 2017
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I’d post a GIF of my celebrity crush, but I don’t think a pizza with a cutout of Kristen Bell’s face makes for a very interesting animation.
4/7 2017
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It’s funny, this time last year I was nervous when I left the house because I was worried I might run into scary clowns. Now today I’m scared to leave the house because I might run into criminal gangs. So, at least that’s gotten better!
4/7 2017
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Rule #1 of goating. Always know where the camera is.
Mia passed this test with flying colours. Mio will have to try harder next time.

4/7 2017
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Heading to bed. Very tired. But that’s mostly because I stayed up last night. Little bit of nausea still, but it’s not as bad anymore. Generally feeling okay. Haven’t had a real moodswing since I started the new meds, although that’s probably just coincidence since it’s supposed to take a while before it really works. Currently reading The Chris Farley Show, so I’ll probably end up crying anyway. May the rest of the 4th be with you. Goodnight, America wherever you are. And goodnight rest of the world, wherever YOU are.
4/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

5/7 2017
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A38 is still out in the field of excellence.

5/7 2017
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Good exercise today. Well, decent at least. First proper one since starting the new meds. I still feel a bit of the nausea, and it gets worse with exercise because I seem to get more sensitive to the smells. Like sweat. And having hot, stale air blown right at me from the space heaters. But alright. I got it done. Maybe the meds will stabilize my moods and I’ll be less dependent on pizza to keep the spirits up. That would be nice. Idea: Pizza with antidepressants as toppings. Patent pending.
5/7 2017
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This is the water and this is the well, actually…
#TwinPeaksplaining
5/7 2017
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goatlog

5/7 2017
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I bet Chris Christie was behind denying the VISA for that Afghan all-girls robotic team. He knew they’d beat his BeachedWhalebot3000 in the big robot competition.
Okay, maybe political satire isn’t my biggest strength.
5/7 2017
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True story, when I read the headline about Hobby Lobby smuggling tablets I thought they were some kind of weird Iraqi brand of iPads or something.
My second thought was that maybe it was a leaked script of a modern reboot of Indiana Jones.
My third thought was that I was hungry and that people probably wouldn’t be interested in my thoughts but that I should post them anyway just in case. I mean you can’t be too careful.
6/7 2017
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“But yes when ur girl leaves u after u spent 100K on her body to get done and then leaves u after have a baby girl who is only a few months”
Robert Kardashian has 7½ million followers on Twitter.
6/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Full steam ahead.
6/7 2017
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Good goat times today. Pleasantly warm and a good deal of sunshine through a thing cloud cover. Quite lovely. Pretty relaxing day too, with the goaties. They were in relax mode already when I got there. And we didn’t have many visitors today. Just a couple of young girls who came over to say hi to the goats. I like when people come by and now Mia and Mio’s names. It shows that they’re part of the place now, not just loaner goats. I overheard one of the girls saying “I’ll never forget Popcorn. The goat that kept jumping over the fences”. Haha. She was talking about Peanut. I have heard someone else talking about Popcorn who was on loan here, so I guess they just had the names mixed up. They must have called Peanut ‘Popcorn’ all the time he was there. Oh well. It’s still nice that he’s remembered. And yeah, it still cracks me up thinking about him being there. Those low fences. He must have spent more time out of the pen than inside it. I wish I’d known how easy it is to get to this playground, I could have visited him and seen him with Yogi. I wonder how they got on. I can imagine who was the boss… Or rather, I can imagine A38 sitting down and relaxing while Peanut was causing all kinds of trouble. What a comedy duo.
6/7 2017
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Well, since she couldn’t bring her pet rocks, this will have to do.

6/7 2017
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That thing when the pizza delivery guy says “bon appetit” but you’re expecting him to say “have a nice day” like all the others so you’re already replying “you too”.
Well, at least he didn’t assume I was inviting him in to join me for pizza.
6/7 2017
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Okay, off to bed. I’m still experiencing the nausea on and off. It’s not so bad that I can’t power through it, but I do hope it goes away soon. Before I have the callback with the doc would be nice. Also waiting to hear back from that Nigerian prince. I’m trying to scam him out of money. If you ever get an email from a Danish goat herder, delete it immediately. They’re notorious scammers!
6/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Make the best of it.
7/7 2017
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We got another video featured here. It’s not going to get a 100 million views like that compilation video we were featured in, but still a nice message to share.
link: Palle hug video
7/7 2017
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Showdown in Goat Town.

7/7 2017
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I love when we have kids visiting. The first kid says “YOU ARE CUTE. YOU ARE CUTE”. And Mio patiently being poked and prodded and petted.
link: Mio, Mia and kids
7/7 2017
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I’m not feeling so great. Not sure what it is. Sad? Empty. I don’t know. A little setback I guess. It’ll be fine. Just feels like there’s something off. I feel like my head is having restless legs syndrome.
7/7 2017
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Like a bird with broken wings, trying to learn how to swim
7/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Come on, come on, come on.
8/7 2017
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Pondering escape

8/7 2017
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Going to bed. Because I want to sleep. Feeling a bit out of it, but no worries. Tomorrow’s another day.
8/7 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

9/7 2017
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Good exercise. Though I’m still feeling a bit queasy and more sensitive to smell and also exercise is hard guys.
9/7 2017
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goatlog

9/7 2017
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Okay, Mia. You win the longest neck competition.

9/7 2017
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I’m not weird
link: lying on Mia and Mio
9/7 2017
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I’m definitely being productive, so that’s good.
9/7 2017
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.