Don’t forget to stop and smell the flour.
6/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. I hope it for you.
6/3 2017
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Good goat times today. Blisteringly cold morning, though. Snow falling as I walked to the playground. And a cold wind. That’s always the worst. I felt so bad I almost turned around and went back home. But I survived, bravely, Had my fun with the goat gang. A good part of it spent inside with Mia and Mio. While A38 went to the half-shed for shelter. I wish we could all be inside together. Hopefully they’ll get a new goat place built this summer where that will be possible. Mousy was there too. She was meowing a lot. I figured maybe she wanted to go outside. Mia and Mio were kinda blocking her exit. Gotta respect the Mio train. so I opened a door for her and she slipped out. Eventually the snow stopped. It didn’t really snow enough to last on the ground, just a little here and there around the edges. It’s March, it’s supposed to be spring! Come back, sun.
6/3 2017
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Tiny bit of white around the edges. I think it’s gone already.

6/3 2017
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PS. I love David Letterman.
I miss the golden age of Late Night with Letterman and Ferguson.
6/3 2017
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load “pizza”,8,1
6/3 2017
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I should get a job as a photshopper, because my photoshopping is so great that you almost can’t tell that it’s photoshopped.

6/3 2017
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The Artificial Lasse Database will be shutting down momentarily to perform scheduled maintennance. Please backup your files and take cover in your designated safe zones. Remember to not look directly at the Lasse unless you are wearing prescription sunglasses and singing cool jazz tunes from the 40s. Please be advised that we cannot issue any refunds in case of galactic implosion. We do our outmust to ensure interdimensional integrity, but recent events have stretched reality to its limits and it could snap like a rubber band at any given moment. Do not be alarmed, there will be cookies in the afterlife. Goodnight ,and god save the fish.
6/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Knock it out of the park.
7/3 2017
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Meanwhile, A38.

7/3 2017
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Btw, Jar Jar Binks is featured in the new Star Wars novel Empire’s End. So now we know what he’s been up to after Return of the Jedi.
Speaking as a person who is not a fan of Jar Jar, I have to say… I actually loved the scene. Compassionate, clowny Jar Jar. I think he more or less adopted a refugee orphan. Also funny nods to how fans feel about him. It was good seeing him again and handled so well.
And yes, I do care more about the Star Wars universe than ours.
7/3 2017
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Hey, that’s usually Mia’s move! Happy Tongue out Tuesday.

7/3 2017
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One from today’s exercise mix.

7/3 2017
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New least favourite thing: Youtubers saying “smash that like/subscribe button”. It’s a mouse click. You cannot smash the button. It’s like trying to slam down your iPhone. It don’t work like that, Stop it. Also stop telling me to turn on notifications. I don’t want to hear about the bell.
Please retweet hashtag rant #ThingsYoutubersComplainAbout
7/3 2017
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Hands in the dark
7/3 2017
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Time to go to dreamland.
By the way, stay out of the basement.
7/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Inspirational message with a funny afterthought.
8/3 2017
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Happy hump day, guys.

8/3 2017
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New amazing, beautiful dreams last night. I visited myself as a child. I swear, it didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like I had take a time machine and gone back. Or one of those “a spirit visits you and takes you back to show you something from your past” and I’m so Bill murray.
Another one was the recurring one I have. The circumstance and place changes. But it’s always the same. Going through a store and buying all the candy and cake and chocolate and… all the stuff I’m not supposed to eat. Just tearing it down from the shelves. It’s always a little heartbreaking to wake up from that and realise that the shopping cart full of candy did not follow you back to reality.
I think that’s my most recurring dream. That and the one where I’m in a used book store kind of place and just looking through all the amazing old magic books and stuff. I guess in a way it’s the same dream, in one I’m buying amazing candy in the other I’m buying amazing books, comics, magazines etc.
8/3 2017
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I need to watch Lost again soon. It’s still my favourite show of all time and I’ve watched it through 7-8 times probably. But it’s been years now. I’ve got to go back to the island.
link: Lost article
8/3 2017
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You know those fish that eat dead human skin? I guess they’re like piranhas for zombies.
8/3 2017
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snowlog part 1

part 2:

8/3 2017
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My panda don’t want none unless you got chocolate buns
9/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. We’re on Easy Street.
9/3 2017
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Good goat times today. In fact a lovely day. The temperatures got a little bump. We eve had some sun. If it hadn’t been for the mud it would have felt almost like proper spring. Sitting with Mia and Mio and just nuzzling their faces and relaxing. The mud is pretty bad, though. So bad that Mio didn’t even come over for tomato time. Even seeing Mia get tomatoes wasn’t enough to get her to cross the mudslide. Of course she’s no dummy. She knows uncle Mountain will come to her. Sweet cuddles with A38 too. And met Mousy who was going out on the prowl. And the lady who comes by regularly with kids had brought a couple of carrots that I got to pass on to Black Beauty. She almost had to get in a headbutt duel with Mia over them, but Mia wisely retreated in the end. Even though BB isn’t as terrifying as Mulle was, she’s still a big thing. And carrots aren’t the favourite treat anyway. You gotta know when to fold ’em.
Yeah, yeah. Not bad. Gimme more spring and music that we love.
9/3 2017
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The snuggle is real.

9/3 2017
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Denmark has the musics

9/3 2017
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But then Wilfred was a real dog sniffle
9/3 2017
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Snorkelfork. Patent pending.
9/3 2017
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Heading to dreamland. Bringing a duffel bag of snorkelforks, merkins and gaffer tape. Always come prepared. I’ll leave a trail of pizza crust so I can find my way back out. Unless the hamsterhobgoblins eat them. Which they almost certainly will. Troublesome troglodytes, trolling the terrain. Oh alliteration. All about the afterlife.
9/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. It’s Friday, I’m in pizza leftovers.
10/3 2017
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The three little goats. Does that make me the big bad wolfman?

10/3 2017
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I think I just triggered some snorkelflakes.
10/3 2017
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goatlog

10/3 2017
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I hate when I have to put on my human suit and pretend to be all sentient and existing in space and time.
11/3 2017
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I accidentally started watching Legion. In my defense, I didn’t know it was a Marvel show. Up until now I’ve managed to avoid all the movies and shows from the Marvel universe. I mean, nothing against it. It’s just that I was always a DC guy. And I’m kinda tired of the whole superhero hype. I haven’t even watched Batman vs Superman, even though they’re my two favourites.
Anyway, Legion is amazing. Maybe it’s that whole… dream reality bending thing. That appeals to me because dreams. Also, eleven thumbs up for the use of Radiohead in the latest episode. That was some good stuff.
1:53 am on a Friday night. My social life is rocking. Don’t come a knocking.
11/3 2017
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Despite all my apathy, the rat is still in the cage.
11/3 2017
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Will I have pizza tomorrow?
Magic 8 Ball says… 9?! This 8 Ball is malfunctioning! Unless it means I’ll have 9 pizzas. In which case this 8 Ball makes a lot of good points.
11/3 2017
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I bet if I had a grill people would be all up in it.
11/3 2017
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You know that clip of the guy being interviewed on BBC and his kids get in the room and cause havoc? I bet if I were ever interviewed on live TV the same thing would happen, only with goats.
11/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. You betcha snorkels on it.
11/3 2017
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Every now and then I just need you to love me all the time. I know that’s a lot to ask since I’m constantle falling to pieces and you’re the one who has to pick them up and pick all the dirt and grime out and put me back together again. Plus order me pizza.
In case you haven’t noticed my Facebooking is probably getting worse. I have these lists that I used to use to try to keep up with everyone, but even that seems unmanagable. Now I just look at the top 2-3 stories that Facebox’s algorithm serves up. Even answering comments on my own posts, I am slipping there too. I just want to astral project into the dreamscape or sit with goats. I’m not feeling the facebox so much. Don’t get me wrong, I love you guys and you make life more tolerable. I’ve just been running on fumes for so long, the check engine sign has been blinking forever. Also I don’t know what car analogies mean. Anyway. Maybe things will get better as spring warms up. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few Lasses. Knock on wood.

11/3 2017
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The snorkeldork with goats

11/3 2017
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Speaking of Baal. One of my favourite Danish bands. At least their two first albums.
Thread

11/3 2017
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There is a TV show called Mama June From Not To Hot. I hope you guys aren’t out collecting all the money in the world, because it still wouldn’t be enough to get me to watch.
Also, a gay character in a Disney movie?! Outrageous. Won’t somebody please think of the children. What’s next? TWO gay characters in a Disney movie? It’s a slippery slope. How horrible. Also I propose a law that says you can only have one eggplant per text, that way you won’t have them accidentally rubbing up against each other if there are more than one. And none of them are allowed to use the bathroom unless a Republican senator is watching through a glory hole. This went a little off the rails, but it’s okay. Alienating people is the only way to prepare them for the inevitable alien invasion.
11/3 2017
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Okay, back to the dreamscape. See you when the fat hutt sings.
11/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

12/3 2017
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More wonderful dreams last night. The highlight was probably Obama coming to celebrate the last day of school with my class. No wait scratch that. The higlight was teh baby goat rolling around with glee on the beach where we were.
12/3 2017
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It’s Sanity Saving Time, so I’m going to set my clock back to the 90s.
12/3 2017
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goatlog

12/3 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

I’m ready for my Oscar party. I just hope Oscar gets here soon, I had to pay double since it was such short notice and since they were all out slutty police costumes.
Good luck to the Danish movies.
27/2 2017
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And the award for most amateurish Photoshop job done in 5 minutes at 5:18 am when you realised it was Oscar night and you should post something on your goat page goes to…

27/2 2017
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Today will be a bad day. Oh sorry, I read from the wrong note. Today will in fact be a good day. This is not a joke. Today will be a good day.
27/2 2017
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Good goat times today. Cold and wet, though. Light rain and tons of mud. As you can imagine, not the favourite weather of goats and man. But could be worse. Of course Mio was quick to head indoors to keep dry. But we did spend some good time outside too. And A38 had more time than usual to devour her banana, since the big girls were inside when I gave it to her. Didn’t slow her down, though. Also got to say hello to Mousy and Ophelia. That’ll do.
27/2 2017
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“I’ll take my treats in here, please”

27/2 2017
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I am very, very tired. But it’s too early to go to bed. Truly I have known hardship. I hope Casey Affleck will commit to putting on a lot of weight for when he will play me in the movie.
27/2 2017
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At least I can take comfort in the fact that when I close my eyes and hug myself tight and listen to Karma Police it still feels like it’s the 90s.
27/2 2017
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I know, Mousy. I am also tired.

27/2 2017
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Alright, that’s it. I’m putting on my space suit and going for a dreamwalk among the stars. See you tomorrow, but not if you see me first.
27/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Yes we can can, tango, flamenco, olé.
28/2 2017
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Where’s A38?

28/2 2017
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I’m tempted to quit my job as unpaid scruffy looking goat herder and instead go into business as Instagram model. I’m pretty sure companies would pay for me to post pictures of myself posing with their products right?
Here’s a previously unposted picture from my famous tomato shoot a couple of years back. Perfect advertisement.
Stay tuned for pictures of me holding a bag of coffee, a tooth brush, a self help book from a charlatan and so on.
PS just kidding. Although I’m tempted to make a parody Instagram account of me posing with every day objects. The only reason I’m not going to do it is because I don’t know what an instagram is.

28/2 2017
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I tomato, therefore I am. Man, I hope tomato season comes back soon.
link: tomato pic
28/2 2017
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Happy Pancake Day! Boy, I really wish I had some pancakes!
This sponsored post was brought to you by pancakes. Everybody loves pancakes!
*picture of me holding pancakes*
28/2 2017
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Exit music (for a day). Heading to bed. I plan to dream far and wide. I might have a beard when I return. See you in another life, brother. When we are both goats.
28/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump days, guys.

1/3 2017
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I keep knocking on my head, but no one answers
1/3 2017
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I’m in one of those sad moods where I don’t want to be part of the world. Luckily I know to just power on through and I’ll feel better. Also luckily pizza.
1/3 2017
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Show me the way

2/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Choo choo.
2/3 2017
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Good goat times today. Needed that. Cold and rainy morning, but the rain pretty much stopped right as I got to the playground, so that was nice. And we even got a bit of sunshine here and there. Still cold, though. And very muddy. I walked around like a mud golem. Caked and baked in mud. But worth it for all the loving.
Had a nice, sweet moment with Mio. Just sitting with my arm around her. She loves the affection. And she’s very calm and sweet, as long as you’re not a goat trying to steal her food. Mia is quite different, she’s very frantic and not so interested in sitting still for long. I can tell the difference when I’m giving them treats or grabbing something out of my backpack while it’s hanging on a fence. Mia immediately comes running, often with a wagging tail. While Mio takes notice and monitors the situation. Until it’s clear that there’s treats to be had, then she starts moving. She doesn’t wanna walk through the mud unless she’s sure it’s going to pay off. I love those two girls, they’ve been a part of my life for so long. Through thick and thin. Waist and hair.
2/3 2017
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Hanging out with Mio.

2/3 2017
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Well that was peculiar. Just to try something new, I ordered pizza today. 30 minutes after it was delivered someone rings my doorbell. I don’t answer because I’m not expecting anyone and I’m blind and alone and my guard goats are on vacation. But they kept ringing and knocking. And it sounded like they were at my neighbours door too. So I finally go out to see who it is. And it’s a pizza delivery guy trying to give me a pizza. Haha. I guess I should have just taken it. Free extra bonus pizza. But I told him I already got my pizza. I’m not sure what happened. Must have been a mixup or something. Now I’ll use the next couple of hours to calm myself down because I HAD TO INTERACT WITH HUMANS.
2/3 2017
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Starting to regret my decision not to accept the bonus extra pizza.
Everyone is always telling me what to do when life hands me lemons, why didn’t anyone tell me what to do when life hands me free pizza?!
2/3 2017
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Mousy decided to take a closer look at my camera just as I snapped a pic.

2/3 2017
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That’s it for today. I’m out. Time to dive into the quicksand and see what devours from beneath.
2/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Believe it true.
3/3 2017
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Everyone’s favourite duo, A38 and Black Beauty.
To be fair, it’s not like they spend a lot of time with eachother. I just like when I catch them close. They’re both calm and gentle hearts.

3/3 2017
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I can officially confirm that I have recused myself from the pizza probe.
3/3 2017
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updated his profile picture.

3/3 2017
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goatlog

3/3 2017
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A set of tarot cards that all say pizza.
3/3 2017
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I wish Noma would stop hanging up on me when I say “but do I have to get reservations for my goats too?”. You try do something nice for your friends…
4/3 2017
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Lasse’s not here, man.
4/3 2017
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Today will be a good day to achieve your goals.
4/3 2017
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Never let it be said that mine is not an inquisitive mind. After all this talk of pineapple and pizzas (and pens?) I decided to give it a try. I had a good exercise today so I rewarded myself with a pizza with pineapple on it. (To be clear, I would have also rewarded myself with pizza if I hadn’t exercised. I’m pretty creative, I would have come up with an excuse).
So what’s my judgment?
I… i like it. It’s pretty good. I’m not sure if I’ll keep ordering it like this, but I certainly don’t think it’s an abomination. Two thumbs up from the Danish Pizza Guy, which is my new youtube channel and instagram profile and tumblr. Please like comment rate and subscribe PS send more pizza.

4/3 2017
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I just found out that Meryl Streep wire tapped my phone. I will admit that I underestimated her. Our feud continues. Hope you enjoyed those hours of me repeatedly guiding my dad through how to attach images in Yahoo mail, Meryl!
4/3 2017
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That face, tho.

4/3 2017
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Heading to bed early on a Saturday night like a rockstar. Mood is swinging considerably. Need a trip to dreamland.
4/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

5/3 2017
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The three lights I found

5/3 2017
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goatlog

5/3 2017
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Last night I was visited by the ghosts of pizzas past, present, and future. It was a truly enlightening experience, and it made me hungry.
5/3 2017
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I don’t usually promote things, I barely even Like/join stuff myself. But just a little shoutout to this page. One for the goat lovers. Since the owner is a good person who’s been kind to me.
link: Barbetta The Laughing Goat page
5/3 2017
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The pizza ghost struck again. Who ya gonna call?
… a pizzeria, I guess.
5/3 2017
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Did you learn nothing from Mrs Doubtfire?!
5/3 2017
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I hope no one ever discovers that I’m using a private email account to run my goat empire.
5/3 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.