I am back home. The eye operation over and done with. The one day of blindness passed. Now trying to settle back into things.

I’m not going to write much right now. The full, exciting story of the surgery will come later. I just wanted to let everyone know I’m back. And the results of the surgery. It is sort of mixed. I’m still blind on the right eye of course, that wasn’t touched. And there is still a blind spot almost at the center of the left eye. But the parts where I can see, they are clearer. So in that respect my vision has improved. On the downside I am finding it harder to focus on text. This is because of the lens being replaced. When you get an “artificial” lens (or whatever it’s called) then you lose the ability to focus at varying distances. I remember the doctor explaining that at some point. When you get a new lens you can only focus at a given fixed distance in front of you. The problem is that the distance seems to be a bit far away. Which means that in order for me to get text in focus I have to hold it fairly far away from me. But because my eyesight is still generally bad, when I hold text far away it will sometimes get too small for me to read. So it’s not perfect. I can’t see text on my cell phone anymore for example. I have to hold it so far away that it gets too small to read. But then I found that if I put a magnifying glass right up to my eye and look through that, then I can focus closer to myself and I can read the cell phone text. So perhaps with some kind of reading glasses I will be able to focus better on text. I was expecting to use my old glasses again after the surgery, but when I tried them on they were all out of whack. I didn’t try them with reading though, maybe they can work as reading glasses (my dad has them now, so I’ll try tomorrow). Or maybe I can get something else. We definitely need to get back in touch with the sight central and see what we can do about aids and glasses.

Also, I think that when the doctor told me about the lens and the focus distance stuff, he said that they could set the lens to focus at given distances. I mean in surgery. So perhaps it would be possible to go back in and set the lens to focus at a closer distance. But then, I wouldn’t like to have more surgery if I can avoid it. And I’m not even sure I understood that right, maybe it isn’t possible after all. In any case it would be easier if it could be done with reading glasses or “telescope glasses”. Because apart from the reading, there is definitely an improvement.

Rambling thoughts. Sorry.

But it’s sort of two steps forward, one back. Or two back. Or whatever. The doctor and nurse that I have talked to so many times, today was the first time in a long, long while, if not forever, that I could actually see their faces pretty clearly. And then it was also the first time in a long, long while that I could not read the clock on my cell phone. So that sort of illustrates the effect of the surgery.

But we still have to let the eye settle after as well, it’s not the optimal result right after the surgery is done. So if that gives some improvement and I can get some reading glasses deal set up, then perhaps the outcome will be a more definite positive.

It’s strange now, previously when there was something I had a hard time reading I would put my face right up to it to get as close as possible, now the closer I get the blurrier it gets. It takes some getting used to.

But I didn’t go blind from the surgery at least, and I can still use the computer although it’s a little more difficult. It could be worse and it could be better, it will still take some time before I know exactly what I’m dealing with.

On the plus side, my video magnifier tool has arrived (at my parents’), so that should be a help in reading stuff too.

And that’s all for now. More details of the surgery itself to come in a day or two. I am really tired now, in body mind and soul. And eye, not least.

It’s almost time now. Tomorrow is the (presumable) last eye operation. I have to get up bright and early at 5:30.

I am starting to feel pretty nervous about it. Not so much the surgery itself, but the following day. Bandaged left eye and non-functioning right eye. Even for just one day, being blind scares me. It’s not going to be fun. And the moment when they take the bandages off will be scary too. What if everything is worse?

But I know it won’t do any good to think like that. I just have to get through it, it’s not like I have a choice. And hope for the best. Hope for that slight improvement that is still possible. I know my parents will help me get through the day, and I hope that will be the only day of complete blindness I will ever have to experience.

It’s going to be strange to have to wear glasses again. It’s been so long without them. A year? I couldn’t imagine life without glasses back then, now I can hardly imagine having to wear them again. It’s certainly easier without them. Maybe I should think about contacts. Or, in my case, contact I guess. Wouldn’t need one for the right eye. But I don’t even know if they make contacts strong enough for me. And I don’t think I’d like the hassle. So I guess it’s back to glasses for me. Although I will probably need some new ones now. If they even make any difference any more.

Hard to say.

They will be removing the oil pad from my left eye. And replacing the lens, clearing the cataracts. What is this, my 5th operation? 7th? Guess it depends on whether you count the laser ones. If all goes well then this should be the last one. And then I’ll be done. I almost wanted to say that then I could go back to my normal life, but it will never be quite normal of course. There’s not going to be a single day for the rest of my life when my eyesight won’t be an issue. But it’s amazing what you can get used to.

So I will be gone for a day or two. Y’all take good care and cross your fingers for me. And while I’m gone, why don’t you spend some time with goats?
youtube.com/watch?v=ZblCXnvqbyo. Quiet time with goats.
youtube.com/watch?v=qtnYekN-inc. Loud time with goats.
youtube.com/watch?v=-nDTaSy3u6U. In the fold.

I will have to stay away from them for a week or two. Can’t afford to have any goat hooves shoved in my eye while it’s healing. The babies are going to be HUGE when I get back to them. Hope they will still recognise me wearing glasses.

See you soon, fingers crossed.