I’m not feeling a whole lotta happy these days, as you might can imagine. I miss the girls, I miss Mads. I feel somewhat hopeless and depressed. As time ticktocks on.

It helped to get out a little today though. Went to my brother’s apartment to fix up his TV. After the legendary channel frequency change. Seems like his TV signal isn’t strong enough though, couldn’t pick up all the channels on their new frequencies. Might have to get a VCR or a tuner or something. I’ll talk to him about that. He wasn’t home when I was there.

After doing that I went to the playground. Sat down with the three remaining friends.

Magnethe, Vanilje and Thor. In that order. They are sweethearts, it’s just hard to get used to the relative peace. No little ones running around like crazy. I miss picking them up. There’s no way I’d be able to lift one of the adults onto my lap, hah. I’d be crushed. Vanilje jumped up on the bench and stood next to me there a couple of times, though. That was nice. She’s still like a little kid sometimes, most obvious when she used to run around with Lakrids and Choko. Sigh.

It started raining as I sat there on the bench. Enjoyably cool. Although the goats did not agree.

They quickly ran to the other side of the pen and stood under the trees. You’ll never catch goats singing in the rain, that’s for sure.

And so the day went. Other things that I have been spending time on:

Reading “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy. A quite excellent and heartbreaking book. I much recommend it. Don’t take my word for it though, it won a pulitzer and Oprah put it in her book club. I was a little wary when I picked it up at the library and saw the Oprah stamp of approval on the cover. I have been raised to believe that Oprah is the devil, so it almost turned me off from reading it. But maybe she’s not so bad after all. Maybe it’s just exaggeration through myth. Maybe she’s just a real person, not a demon. You never know.

I’m still convinced that Dr Phil is behind the mask of Darth Vader, though.

I finally got to watch the new Indiana Jones movie. I’m not sure what to feel about it. It kinda sucks. But at the same time, it’s Indiana Jones. Which is awesome. Just hearing the theme, it makes me giddy like a schoolboy. So while I won’t proclaim to be a piece of fine art, I will say I loved it. Didn’t even mind the sci-fi stuff. And I loved that Indy was old. That Harrison Ford refused to dye his hair. “What are you, like eighty?”. Hah yes. They don’t make ’em like they used to, but at least they try.

On the computer I have been playing Ultima. Found a DVD collection. One-click installs. Even Pagan worked right out of the box. Man I love that series. Ultima 7 is still my favourite game of all time. Going back to that world is always a joy. Ultima 6 was my first computer RPG ever. On the Amiga. And U7 Part 2, Serpent Isle, was the game that made me buy a PC for the first time. They don’t make ’em like they used to, and unfortunately they have stopped trying. May you rot in MMMORPG hell, EA.

Compliments to the 2 people in the world who know what I’m talking about. The rest of you can just talk amongst yourselves.

Anyway. Life goes on, I guess. No man is an island. I feel like an ocean, in a post-apocalyptic world. Alone and vast and neverending, even if I try.

Went to the playground today. Talked to Per and Alice for a bit. To find out what happened to Lakrids and Chokolade. They have moved to a place in Odder. Which is fairly far away. I didn’t catch exactly what kind of place it was, other than the fact that it was “ecological”. What’s that called? They grow things organic. Alice said it would be a really nice place for them to be. So that’s good for them. Less good for me of course. I miss them already. It’s awfully empty without them.

I always knew there was a chance they wouldn’t be staying forever. That’s how it goes at the playground, not all animals stay. But I never thought anything would happen so soon. And because they were girls, I had hoped they would get to stay. It’s easier to keep girls than boys. And with Mads gone and no sheep around there would have been space… so I’d hoped. Now they’re gone and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. It’s my own fault for not being at the playground enough. They left on Thursday.

Just seems like I have been losing too many. Rainbow. Mads. Lakrids and Choko. And those are just the recent ones. It’s dangerous to get attached…

There’s nothing I can do about it. Apart from trying not to break down over it.

tired now.