Leashy Lashy

November 18th, 2018

Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

13/11 2018

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Good goat times today. Mostly darkly day, but at least it stayed pretty dry while I was out. I decided to give grandma Mio another chance, give her the chance to show me that she could behave and -smash cut- there I am fighting my way through another thick jungle chasing grandma. Yeah yeah. It’s the leash for grandma in the future I’m afraid.
This time it was behind the bleacher and soccer/basketball pitch. And I did not know what was past the thicket behind that. So I wasn’t too happy when she darted into the undergrowth. She may be wide, but she’s not very tall. It’s hard for me to follow in there, ducking under branches, snapping and cracking everywhere.
Turned out we ended up on the parking lot of the residential neighbourhood next door. Oh dear. I wasn’t too happy with that, so I tried getting them over to more familiar territory. So there I was, trying to drag grandma across the parking lot. She was having none of that. Haha. An old lady came walking by with one of those shopping trolleys. “They do say ‘stubborn as a goat’! It’s not the first time they’ve been up here!”. Oh yes. Well, eventually I got them past the parking lot and over to the hedges in front of the grey building. I let them snack there for a while. A few people passed by, but everyone took it with a smile. There was also a guy with a dog, but it was a small one on a leash so it wasn’t a problem. Just a tense face-off. The dog wanted to play and they goats wanted it to go away, a hey a hey hey.
Then something spooked Mia and the little ones. And Mia jumped right up into the hedge. It looked pretty darn comical. I mean, if that had been a panther coming for you goats, you’d have been stuck there, defenceless in the hedge, Mia. Sheesh. It reminded me of an old woman on a chair screaming about a mouse. Only imagine instead of a mouse it was a panther. Jumping up and being stuck in a fence is not a good idea when faced with danger.
I don’t think it was a panther. I think it was a bird. There’s a specific bird that always spooks the goats. I forget what it’s called.
But everyone survived the imaginary panthers and parking lots. Just an average day in Goat Town.
13/11 2018

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Uh oh. I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.

13/11 2018

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I had to sound the alarms today. Not about the panther-birds. But apparently a new guy started working at the playground today, and he forgot to close the door to the stables. The outside door was closed, but not the door leading out into the horse field. So once he left after having done some cleaning of stalls inside… the coast was clear for the horses to sneak inside the stable. Cue loud sounds of horses pushing stuff around and undoubtedly trying to get into the food supply. I don’t know if horses getting in the food can have the disastrous outcome that it could have for goats, but I had to overcome my social phobia and go tell the human peoples that something was up. Finbarr came and shooed the horses out and got the door closed. All is well that ends well. Nice to know it’s not only the goats that seize every chance to get in trouble.
13/11 2018

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Just checking out the neighbourhood

13/11 2018

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I need something human. I need humans to be humane again..

13/11 2018

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This is Mia in the hedge. The picture doesn’t quite capture how comical it looked when she… just jumped right in there. You know, if it HAD been a panther then the sensible thing would have been to run. And keep running. There’s no way forward there. She had to kinda awkwardly bumble back out the way she came. I don’t think she really planned it out. “I’ll just jump on this hedge and maybe the panther won’t be able to get me”.
Good thing the chirping panther flew away to nest in a tree somewhere.

13/11 2018

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Oh come on! Knock it out! If you don’t stop being that cute I’m going to have you locked up on the grounds of I can’t stand it

13/11 2018

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Planning her next road trip, I bet.
I am off to bed. Escape to the sanity of dreams.

13/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump day everyone.

14/11 2018

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Oh yeah, if you want to hear the visiting kids singing for the goats, it’s at the end of this video. Watch out for bread thieves.
link: goat video
14/11 2018

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I had good magical dreams last night. A couple of scary ones. One of them wouldn’t make sense if you don’t know who Jakob Stegelmann is. Haha. And one of them I was playing Stewie from Family Guy in a sort of Mario Kart game, I was driving around with him and I drove into darkness and there were monsters and eventually the monsters killed me and when I wanted to boot up the game again it told me I couldn’t play again for another month because I’d gotten Stewie killed. Imagine if computer ganes worked like that, you die you can’t play for a month.
And another dream I was Kevin from Wonder Years and me and my friends were playing Baseball against older kids. I don’t know how my brain managed that, I ahve no idea how to play baseball in actual life, I’ve never even watched 5 minutes of it. Haha. I can’t tell you how hard it is to get up and go into real life when I have a private cinema with free wellness blanket pulling me back.
14/11 2018

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goatlog

14/11 2018

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Today will be a good day .Here’s Thor from 2008.


15/11 2018

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Good goat times today. Broke out the leash for the first time since… well, since the kids were kids I guess. It’s just about close to a year ago that they arrived at our doorstep. But time was up for Mio.
Turned out to be the right choice too. She headed right for the path to the forbidden zone when we went out. And when she saw me coming after her with the rope in my hand she knew what was up and just sped up. But she’s not the fastest goat in the field, so eventually she had to give up. And I got the leash on her and we changed course. Went back to the goat pen and to the treeline down there. Then I took the leash off her. No parking lots of apartment blocks down there, at least not in easy reach. It was nice to have a bit of a calmer day and be able to let them just forage around in the shrubbery and growth there. Although it’s not a goat day if they don’t get in a little trouble. There’s a garden thing down there, I think it’s some communal thing where people in the neighbourhood can have a little plot or just a row or plants or something like that. A guy who walked by once remarked that it would be good if the goats would come down and eat the weeds there. Haha yeah, but the goats would eat the weeds and then everything else. Heck they’d probably eat everything else and leave the weeds just to make a point. I don’t think there can be much growing there right now. But I figured I’d better keep the goats out of there. Of course grandma had other ideas, and managed to get a moouthful of some leafy green thing before I shooed her back out. And that was enough to spook Mia and the little ones so they ran back towards the pen and crossed the path. And the kids kept running up to the open gate to their pen and then they ran in there and then they ran down to the fence and lookd back at us and bleated because they thought they were locked in the pen now. Sometimes goats just have a one track mind. It’s like they forgot that they just ran through an open gate. If they wanted to get out of the pen and join the flock again they could just go back to the open gate. But nooo. They can only look ahead and there’s a fence in the way! So I had to go up to the open gate to show them that the open gate was open and then they could figure out how to get out of the pen again. Goats are so smart but sometimes they just don’t see the bigger picture.
But it was fun, and definitely better than chasing grandma through thick jungles and parking lots.
Later when we were relaxing in the pen a couple of women with kids came by. So I got up to do my goat dury, walked over to the fence and got the goats to follow so the visitors could have some goat time. One of the women said that the big boers were the ones that had been in her back yard the day before yesterday, that they had gotten loose. Hmm. Well, that was the day when I had them out on the lose in the parking lot and neighbourhood. I think she must have just not seen me then or forgotten I was there. But she just laughed about it. The chickens had been up there too, apparently it’s a common occurence for the feathery fowls to wander up there. Maybe I gotta put the rooster on a leash too..
15/11 2018

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Oh, a couple of funny details I missed from the goat report:
When I was leading Mio back on the leash, Mia decided to start challenging her with headbutts. Maybe she sensed some weakness from grandma? Her authority being challenged? Or maybe the leash annoyed her, she kind got tangled up in it a little haha. Poor grandma, being dragged back on a rope and having her youngling being all defiant.
We spent some time by the kindergarten fence too. One kid proclaimed that the goats were his friends, apparently he’d seen them before. One kid proclaimed “I CAN SEE ITS BUTT”. Maybe have to do a DNA test to see if it’s Keiko-litter. Another proclaimed “IT’S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME” (the goat, not the butt).
15/11 2018

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Grandma on the leash. Mia investigating it.

15/11 2018

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zOMG the caravan is coming and it’s full of sith and hutts and young male clone troopers, i saw on it on the force and friends

15/11 2018

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The Olsen Gang off stealing God’s gold in heaven. Give ’em hell, boys.
15/11 2018

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Here’s an update on the house next door. The road leading right through the apartment block.

15/11 2018

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Milo-vision. Do not attempt to adjust your television. All your treats are belong to he.

15/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday with the fuzzmon from 2016.

16/11 2018

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goatlog

16/11 2018

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[Comments are disabled for this video]
16/11 2018

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Hey Shadow man

16/11 2018

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do you ever feel like there’s no you left?
16/11 2018

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It’s a licorice for breakfast kinda year
17/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

17/11 2018

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See you at the crossroads
17/11 2018

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These are trying times. The tomatoes and cucumbers are going out of season and don’t taste so well. But I can’t yet get frozen elderberry soup in the soupermarket. So what’s a guy to do?! *nibbles on chocolate bar*
17/11 2018

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My favourite joke of all time is whne someone says “I can explain” and then they pause and then instead of saying something they just run away.
17/11 2018

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Has anyone seen Mia? Well, she must be around here somwhere. I’m sure she’ll turn up.

17/11 2018

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The puppet episode of every show is always either the most delightful (Angel) or the most creepy (Stan Against Evil), or both (Ash Vs Evil Dead).
17/11 2018

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I mean it’s a nice pocket, it’s charming and all. But I’m just not sure it’s a hot pocket. I think I need another beer or 3 in me.
17/11 2018

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I goat you

17/11 2018

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Heading off on a dreamtrip to the offreality colonies. See you in the starlight, moonkids.
17/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

18/11 2018

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Big as a house

18/11 2018

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Made myself cry last night when I accidentally thought about Jurassic Bark. I defy anyone who’s ever had a dog, or any pet, to not break down at the ending of Jurassic Bark. It shows how much animals mean to us, that even a silly scifi cartoon can make us cry like it’s a Meryl Streep wartime tearjerker. You know? You know.
I went to bed with a head full of heavy thoughts about all my regrets and how much suffering there is in the world, animals and humans, and all sorts of sad thoughts. It made me think about, what if when you’re at the gates of heaven (if you believe in that sort of thing), what if you’re not judged by St Peter or God or whoever, what if you have to judge yourself? If God asked you if you deserved to go to heaven would you say yes? I would not.
And all because of a god damn cartoon dog, sheesh.
18/11 2018

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Synchronized cuteness

18/11 2018

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goatlog

18/11 2018

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Well, would you just look at what I done got in the mailboxaroney! Thank you so much, Cyd Burk ! They’re gorgeous! The photo doesn’t half do them justice. The colours are so beautiful. Especially the Yogi one. Brilliant! Once again I am blessed with the best friends.

18/11 2018

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It’s like a circus around here

18/11 2018

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That’s all for this week.


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Elevations

November 13th, 2018

Today will be a good day. Have a Mads Monday. Here he is from 2006.

5/11 2018

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Good goat times today. Pretty gloomy out, but at least there was very little wind. That makes it a lot more comfortable. Touring the grounds with the goats, looking for scraps of green. Some silly running around, getting sperated by fences and getting in places they shouldn’t be. But all in good fun. Grazing along the kindergarten fence, with a few little ones excitedly blabbering on the other side.
And then things got freaky in the goat house again. Mia trying to hump first Milo then Sky, with bucky grunting noises. Sheesh, someone needs a boyfriend.
5/11 2018

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Yeah, grandma got past me and made it to the forbidden zone. Can’t keep a good goat down.

5/11 2018

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When they open the voting ballots let it be like the opening of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Let it burn away all the nazis.
5/11 2018

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“If we find a way to crack this giant coconut we’ll be fed for days…”
Well, the Lasse unit is heading to the bed place. Further inquiries can be directed to the Q Continuum.
Oh, and remember to vote if you’re American. Now, I’d never presume to tell you who to vote for. But if you want me to whine less about politics…

5/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

6/11 2018

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I slept so much. And I dreamt so much. Many beautiful things. Sad too. I dreamt of Palle. I dreamt of finding him lifeless… but then we shook him and he started to come to and we massaged his belly and he spit out the bad stuff he had eaten. If only that was how it had gone in real life…
6/11 2018

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Idris Elba is the sexiet man alive?
Once again my hopes are crushed. Voting truly does not matter. It’s all rigged by the Russians anyway. Can’t believe I waxed my bikini line for nothing.
6/11 2018

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We’re a little on the fence about this.
Get it?
Goat Distraction Squad on the job.

7/11 2018

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Well, I sure appreciate this happy ending. It looked bad for a while, but everything is going to… wait, where’s the body of the insane axe murderer? He was right there…
OHMYGOD THE POLL IS COING FROM INSIDE THE HOU
7/11 2018

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I remember seeing all the #MeToo posts coming in on Facebook, being shocked at how there was seemingly no end to them. It was an eyeopener (for a straight white male as myself). And a needed one. But I sure like the feeling of seeing all the I Voted posts better.
It makes me wish I could vote tonight too. Unfortunately I missed the bus that the Democrats sent to Denmark to bring in illegal socialist votes from Europe.
7/11 2018

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To distract you from the election, here is a guy posing next to a fuzzy goat butt.

7/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone. Keep love a light.

7/11 2018

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Flying superkid

7/11 2018

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Did we save the world? Did we save.. the cheerleader.. did we save me obiwankenoby you’re my only hope.. did we won’t believe these crazy savings.. did we didgeridoo diddily ding dong my sandwitch is ready
7/11 2018

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Stan Against Evil season 3 is on. Better than ever. I’ve seen John C McGinley in 3 shows and he basically plays the same character in all 3 and I basically forking love him in all 3. If you have ever wondered what it would be like if Dr Cox from Scrubs was Buffy from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, go watch Stan Against Evil.
Toads to the max.
7/11 2018

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After all the allegations that dead people vote for Democrats, it’s kinda funny that a dead Republican won his election. I think it’s pretty clear who the dead vote for.
Several indicted guys won too, so that accounts for the illegals voting I guess?
7/11 2018

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We all know grandma is pulling the strings from the shadows anyway. Deep Goat State.

7/11 2018

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Back to dreams I go. It was fun having hope for a day, but it’ll be nice to get back to everything being on fire with sirens in the background again.
Just kidding. Lighten up. Everything is fine. Worse things happen at sea.

7/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Finn and Jacob from 2009.

8/11 2018

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Wherever it may take you

8/11 2018

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goatlog

8/11 2018

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Sorry, grandma. You’re on the wrong side.

8/11 2018

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Live action Cassian Andor TV series? Iiinteresting. I need like 12 more Star Wars shows to keep me away from reality, though.
Gimme that Tatooine show already.
8/11 2018

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Watching the new episode of The Good Place and there are goats bleating. This is not a drill. There are goats bleating. Everybody be quiet, I need to focus.
8/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Clark and Herman and a human visitor from 2014.

8/11 2018

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Good goat times today. Twas a dark and foggy morning. A little creepy actually. And it only got creepier when I turned the corner at the playground and encountered a dark figure standing still, watching me. He was standing at that corner where Mio did her failed limbo attempt if you saw that video a couple of days ago. There’s branch across the fence opening. And in fact the dark figure started to move.. and knocked down that branch, like a failed goat limbo attempt. Said something in a human voice, so that assured me that it was in fact a human and not some ghastly demon waiting to collect my soul. Still a little creepy that he was just standing there in the dark fog, though. I thought maybe he was watching the horses in their pen. But now that I think about it, he wouldn’t really have been able to see them through the fog. Not gonna lie, it scared me a little. Probably just someone out for a walk who’d stopped to grab a smoke, or something. Or a demon from hell who would have murdered me if he hadn’t tripped that branch. Who knows.
The goats were out in the pen when I got to them (hastily walking there without looking back. Because we all know if you’re being followed by an axe murderer they can’t hurt you if you don’t look back). They were a little spooked too, though. When I opened their gate they didn’t want to come out. Milo and Sky eventually, carefully got out. Mia wouldn’t walk past the gate until I lured her with a treat. Grandma didn’t even want to consider leaving the goat house. Yeah, they don’t like the dark fog. Didn’t help that just then a man walked by the pen with a dog (I don’t think it was the dark figure person, that one didn’t have a dog I think. Or maybe he did and I just didn’t see it and everything is fine you guys can someone check outside my front door?!). Sent Milo and Sky running back to the pen for safety. It was a little dog and it was on a leash. But Mia was still properly freaked. The dog did that thing of sort of jumping back and forth sideways and barking. And Mia carefully advanced on it with a deathly stare in its direction. I figured I’d better not take any chances so I walked into the goat pen and called them all with me. And so we spent some time in the goat house until everyone felt a little safer. Grandma still didn’t want to leave the pen, but she eventually followed after the rest of us had left and walked around the corner.
We walked around for a bit trying, to find some greens. Then things got more fun as a group of kids, probably a school or kindergarten group, came to visit. One of their adults told me that they’d been having a “Three Billy Goats Gruff” theme and they wanted to go see some real goats. So that was nice. They had a bag of bread which the goats were not allowed to have. Naturally the goats wanted it. Badly. So there was a bit of panic, but all in good fun. And some of the kids would afterwards go “Oh no it’s the bread thieves” every time they saw the goats. And then they sang the son, from the fairy tale I think? About the three goats and the trolls and how you shouldn’t reply to their comments online. Something like that. When they left they thanked me for the opportunity to see and talk about the goats and I thanked them for the song.
Then grandma got in a bit of trouble. She ttried to get up to the forbidden zone and got into a place of dense trees and bushes where I couldn’t really follow. It’s a small place, it’s not like they could really get lost in there. But I did get a little worried as a I found a way in and then stumbled around crashing through bushes and breaking branches, feeling like Indiana Jones in a thick jungle. It took quite some time and effort to get in there and catch grandma and get her out. Grandma is the key. If I get her out then I just have to call and whistle and the others will follow. They got that herd mentality and don’t want to be left behind. Grandma got that “I’m the queen bee and ima do what I want so I’ll go this way and if you don’t follow then bye felicia, see you when you get there”. Calling and whistling for her doesn’t really work if she’s got her mind set on something else. I might actually have to start bring some rope when we go out now. There’s so little green that they wander and seek a lot and grandma’s got her mind set on the forbidden zone and now she’ll probably want to go in the jungle too. Sheesh. Potted plants don’t escape to the jungle.
But it’s all in good fun. More eventful day than I had planned, but at least the soul-eating dark demon of the foggy downs didn’t catch me.
Sorry about the long entry. I don’t make the news, I just report them.
8/11 2018

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Grandma’s name is Nope.

8/11 2018

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The fog goat

8/11 2018

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Yeah, grandma wins another round

8/11 2018

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Into the fog of dreams I go

8/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe and a couple of lambs from 2005.

10/11 2018

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Orange you glad I didn’t say fog?

10/11 2018

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Finished reading Stephen King’s Elevation. It was short. But it came with Laurie, which is about a man getting a dog. And it made me want to get a dog.
Of course, the goats would never forgive me.
11/11 2018

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3:20 am pizza sesh, you up?
11/11 2018

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Topical Lasse quiz:
As a kid, was I the Dungeon Master for a group of classmates playing Dungeons & Dragons?
11/11 2018

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Today will be a good day. Happy funday everyone.

11/11 2018

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Do I regret not investing in MicroSoft stock 30 years ago? Sure. But even moreso I regret not investing in cake the last time I went shopping.
11/11 2018

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That was quite lovely, Pete Davidson apologising to Dan Crenshaw on SNL. But I mean, Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions drinking from the water bottle. Wow.
11/11 2018

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Paint the way

11/11 2018

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This is the kind of stable genius you miss if you don’t follow me on the tweeter:

Lasse Plumeā€ @djaliplume
Actually, I think it would probably be a good idea to keep Trump out of the rain. And also, make sure he finishes his cheeseburger before midnight. #GremlinFromTheKremlin
11/11 2018

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Okay, I won’t quit my day job as scruffy looking goat herder

11/11 2018

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Respect to the vets out there, hope everyone is safe from the fires, And thank you to everyone who shines a little light. Every light you find is precious.
11/11 2018

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I am the sleeper, what world is this?
13/11 2018

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, rest in peace Stan Lee. I was never a Marvel guy, but can’t deny, Stan was the man. Excelsior.
13/11 2018

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Late night goat butts for the mature audience.
13/11 2018

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That’s all for this week.


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