Wolf At The Door
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March 7th, 2009
My sight has gotten worse. I can feel it. It’s getting pretty bad now. Bad enough that it might be problematic.
I’m not sure if it’s connected to the eye exam on Wednesday. I got those eyedrops that really mess up your vision. And it feels like it hasn’t quite recovered to the level it was before that. Also feels like it’s worse today than it was yesterday.
I have had to lower the resolution on my monitor. 1024×768 on 22 inch widescreen. That’s messed up. But I don’t really have a choice if I want to be able to read anything. I got my brother’s old laptop today but I don’t think I’ll be able to use it really. I’m not sure how low I can set the resolution on it, but I doubt I’ll be able to use that small screen much. It’s not going to be the fun I thought it would.
Fed the animals at the playground today. It went okay. But I think i’m going to have to tell them that I’m not going to do it anymore. At least not until my eyesight gets better, if that ever happens. I’d rather stop before I make some kind of grave mistake that kills off all the animals. Well, I’m sure it wouldn’t get that bad. But if I were to drop my keys in the hay I’d never find them. If I were to set off the alarm I don’t know if I could fix it and manage to call the alarm service. If they leave me a note about medication for the animals I’m not sure I could handle it. I can barely see how much food and water the animals have in the dark. So today was probably my last time.
I can barely see myself in the mirror. But that’s about the only good thing there is about it all.
I feel like everything is a little over. Nothing left to do but sit back and wait for judgement to come. May it be swift and severe. Or maybe just sleep for a month or two and hope I wake up with better eyesight. There should still be a chance of it getting better. But I don’t think anyone can say anything about it for sure anyway. The thought of going through the rest of my life like this is not fun. And it could still get worse. I have said it before and I’ll say it again, I could not live with being blind.
Standard disclaimer: I’ll be alrite, don’t worry about me. I’m just selling the drama.
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