So what has been going on while my blog was non-functioning?

Well, remember how my last proper entry was quite positive? Well you know the laws of Plume demand that a positive entry must surely be followed by a negative one. So it goes. More or less. I have been to the hospital three times since last. Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday. I am going again on Wednesday. Because my left eye seems to be getting worse. There are parts of it that I see fairly well with and then there are parts that are just blank, just dead. And the dead spots seem to be spreading. It’s like they’re coming in from the left and they have just about reached the center of my vision. I can tell very easily when reading text on the computer. If I look at a word then I can’t see the letter immediately to the left of the letter I am focusing on. So if I look at the ‘l’ in the word ‘Plume then I see ‘lume. Even the l is starting to grey out. It has definitely spread, it didn’t use to be that close to the center. And of course if it keeps spreading then at some point I will be unable to read at all. Unable to see much. It’s not covering the entirety of the left of my eye though. I can see stuff at the edge. So I can see stuff at the left and then there’s a part I can’t see anything and then around the center I can start seeing again. Except at the bottom of the eye. I can’t see anything in the bottom 3rd or 4th of the eye.

Anyway, point being that there are blind spots and they seem to be spreading.

What did the doctors say? On Saturday the doctor said he couldn’t really see anything, but perhaps it was the cataracts spreading. I highly doubt that’s what’s going on. Remember that my right eye is almost completely blind. If all those blind spots were just cataracts then I’m sure they wouldn’t have told me previously that the cataracts weren’t my main problem, that they weren’y big or plentiful enough to be causing me problems compared to the other problems I had. Not that it wouldn’t be great if the blind spots were the cataracts because the cataracts can be operated away. If the blind spots could be operated away then I would have a chance of getting my eyesight pretty much back to normal. But I doubt it. Much. A lot. The doctor then said that we should come back the next day so they could see if there was any change. I kinda figure that he mostly just wanted me to come back then so another doctor could get a go at me because he couldn’t really say what was going on. During the weekend there is only the emergency staff there. Not the highest ranking doctors. So I kinda took it as “Uhm, I don’t know what this is so come back tomorrow and it will be another doctor’s problem”. So hw qouldn’t have to say “I’m clueless, sorry. Can’t help ya”. Not that he wasn’t a very nice and capable doctor. But my eyes are obviously quite complicated…

So we went back Sunday. And another doctor looked at me. And he couldn’t see much either. He said that there was some blood behind the oil that might be blocking my sight. But again, I doubt it. Because I can see the blood in the eye. There’s a little bit rolling around when I tilt my head. And there is some that lies in a sort of circle around the eye. I can see all that and that’s not the blind spots. Of course there could be more blood than that and that could be the blood he talked about and again that’d be great because that could be removed and then I’d have a chance of being able to see properly again. But I doubt it. Highly. He also said that it was possible that there was something wrong with the retina or lens or something, and he wanted one of the surgeons to take a look at me because they were the ones who operated on me in the first place and they have a little more experience with those things. “Not to say a lot”. So again I went home without any real answers.

And then we went back on Tuesday. We had to cancel the appointment with the sight central. They’ll be coming next week instead. But we went to the hospital and one of the surgeons looked at me and… couldn’t say that much. There’s nothing new to really see and there’s not much they can do other than what they’re already doing. He did give me some eyedrops to lower the pressure in my eyes. The pressure in my eyes is fine, but lowering it might increase the bloodflow to them a little. He made it obvious that it was a longshot and not anything that was likely to fix anything. And so far it hasn’t. Although the blind spots don’t seem to have spread in the last week or so. But it’s hard to tell, it’s a slow process and it’s hard to say if it’s spread a little or not. But the surgeon doc wanted to talk to a colleague and see me again. So that’ll be on Wednesday. And we’ll see what they say. I do expect them to say that they can’t really see anything and can’t really do anything either. That’s unfortunately how it seems to be. They’re doing all they can and all we can do is wait and hope.

My own little theory is that the lack of blood is killing the cells. The rods and cones or whatever they’re called, or something else. But that the eye is slowly dying. I mean, cells can die from lack of blood getting to them, can’t they? I know that the main problem with my eyes is the bad bloodflow. Which is consistent with diabetes. Too much sugar in the blood makes it harder to pump it around. So you don’t get enough blood to the extremities. Hence the low pulse in my feet. And to the eyes. The eyes react by creating new blood veins. But for whatever reason they don’t work properly. They leak. That’s the cause of all the blood and junk that was clouding my eyes. And that’s what the laser treatments were for. Closing the veins. The laser treatments and oil in my eyes should have sorted that. But there’s still the problem of not enough blood getting there. I imagine that’s what’s killing the eyes.

That’s all my understanding of the situation and my theory, it could all be wrong. And it doesn’t matter anyway because there’s nothing more to do. I’m keeping my blood glucose levels down and trying to get the circulation going. But to be honest with myself and you all, I think it’s just a matter of time before my left eye ends up more or less like the right one. I don’t know if I will be completely blind or not. With my right eye I can see some light and outlines. I imagine that’s how it will all end up. For all intents and purposes blind. I think it’s just a matter of how long it will take.

But what can you do. I’m feeling okay really. For now I can still use the computer mostly and watch TV mostly and still hope for things to get better. I’m not despairing yet. Keeping my spirits up. Why today I even went out on my own and visited the goats at the playground. So I can still manage that without help. And I had a great time there of course. Even though I had to leave after an hour already because I didn’t want to get caught in a building rainshower. I was underdressed for that.

So there you go. Things have gotten worse, but I’m managing okay. I have a busy week coming up. On Monday I will get a visit from the sight central people. On Tuesday people from the housinge organization will come (sometime between 8am and 4pm) to check electricity and heater meters. On Wednesday I’m going back to the hospital to have my eyes checked again. And on Thursday I have to go to the foot therapist to have my feet checked and pampered, I hope. I am also waiting for a call from the Danish Blind Society, of which I am now an official member. So we’ll see if there’s any help they can offer me.

Lots of stuff to deal with. Let’s hope there won’t be anymore blog troubles, at least.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 28th, 2009 at 19:14 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.