A Mouthful Of Wasps
I am feeling a little better physically. So that’s good. I am, however, a little worried about my left eye. I feel like it’s getting worse again. Like the blind spots are moving in to cover the central vision again. I can feel it is getting harder to read again.
So that is not good. It always varies, goes up and down, so I can hope it’s just a little temporary thing, maybe all the trouble with the right eye is effecting the left one as well. Maybe it’ll get better. I don’t know. It’s just hard not to worry. That it will get back to how it was when I made the farewell post. And keep getting worse. It got better back then and it’s been nice to have some slight eyesight remaining. I don’t want to go back to almost not being able to read. Or worse. I am worried that the downwards spiral is back.
But there’s not so much I can do. Wait and hope.
One little theory I have is that perhaps it’s connected to the diamox medication. The anti-pressure medication. I was taking it for the pressure in the right eye of course. But stopped taking it a week ago. And it feels like the vision in the left eye has gotten worse since then. I can’t know if it’s connected of course. But it seems to me that last time my eyesight was at its worst and then started getting a little better again, that may have been around the time my the pressure went up in the right eye and I got the big dosages of diamox. Maybe a little before that, but I also got diamox then after the last surgery on the right eye to clean out the blood. I don’t know, it just seems to me that my eyesight has been better while I’ve been getting diamox. There haven’t been pressure problems in the lefy eye so anti-pressure meds shouldn’t have done any good for it. But still. Maybe somehow. There was one point when one of the docs suggested taking eyedrops in the lefy eye to lower pressure and thereby get more bloodflow. That didn’t seem to work at the time, but then eyedrops have never been as effective for me as diamox. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. But if my eyesight keeps getting worse again then I guess I’ll suggest it to the doctors, that I go back on diamox and see if that does any good after all. It can’t hurt to try. I can live with the diamox side effects if it means seeing a little better. There’s a big difference between being able to read the computer screen and not being able to. I haven’t had complete vision with the left eye since this all started, but having the blind spots to the left is a lot better than having the them spread in centrally.
Always something to worry about.
In other news, I had a call from Alice at the playground. She invited me to the annual christmas party. I was still employed there at the beginning of the year, so I’m still eligible. I decided to turn it down, though. I’m just not up for that at the moment. Even when everything was “normal” it was still a hard thing for me. And now it’s just too much. Going there when it’s dark, I’d be completely blinded. Eating a big feast while not being able to see much. It would all add immensively to my social phobia. I know they’re all nice and would help me all they could, but I just can’t deal with it. Not right now. Too bad.
The other night I dreamt about goat kids. Magnethe had 3 babies and Vanilje jad 1. And there was also a piglet. I don’t know where that one came from. It was a nice dream, though.
November 24th, 2009 at 21:17
I’m sorry you’ll be missing out on the Playgournd Christmas Party – and the job at the playground as well. That was such a positive in your life. But I do hope you’ll continue to have the playground and the goats in your life, because they’ll always be there to make you smile no matter what! Sounds good with all the dreams of babies! Makes me broody, though I’d rather not give birth to anything with hoofs (no offence!).
x
November 24th, 2009 at 23:23
Yes, that’s too bad about missing the Christmas party. I wondered if you would be invited. I know it was hard for you to go before let alone to go now.
Now if I had to give birth to something, I’d want hooves! A little bity baby goatzie would be just fine with me. It would look like me and smell like my husband! hee, hee
I had a tooth ache over the weekend and I went to the dentist today. I got an antibiotic and pain pills to take and then I have to have it pulled around the middle part of December. It’s my upper right tooth clear to the very back.
It’s always something… isn’t it?
November 27th, 2009 at 17:08
Desirée – Yes, I miss working there. It made me fee a little like a farmer, walking around with buckets of food for all “my” animals”. But as long as it’s humanly possible I’ll go there and get my smiles still.
I’d be worried if you gave birth to something with hooves. That might be a bad sign.
Debster – They always invite people who have worked there during the year. And I think sometimes former employees too. I’m not sure. They do invite Bodil every year even though she has never worked there. I might still get an invitation just as a good friend of the place. Guess I’ll see next year.
I hope the teeth are a little better now. Don’t let them pull out too many, you might scare the goats when you try to smile! But I hope it will all be okay of course.