Time for the surgery story. Not that it’s terribly exciting. But we’ll do it anyway, why not?

It was on Thursday of course. I had to get up at 5.30 am. Much too early for someone like me, especially when you’re not allowed to eat any breakfast. But I got up okay. My dad came over. And we went to the hospital in a taxi, paid for by the transportation service that I am entitled to because of my disability. We waited some 10 minutes probably and then the front desk at the eye ward opened up and we were shown to my room. Where I changed into hospital clothes and got in the bed. I don’t think we had to wait too long at that point. I got an IV set up with a glucose drip. And an injection of insulin. I’m not sure why they want to do it that way, it seems to me that it would be easier for me to just take my medication in the morning. But I guess with IV and insulin they can control it better. I got some painkillers and a series of eyedrops. And then the area around my eye was washed and some paper was put over it. And from that point on I really couldn’t see anything. Just glimpses at the edge of the paper. Left eye covered, right eye blind. I was wheeled to the operating room. The anesthesiologists were there to help me get to the operating table. The surgeon was a little late, so they got me all set up and ready (including shower cap like thing on my head) and then I just laid there while they were talking. I really don’t mind all that, maybe it’s a little weird. Just lying there and having a couple of women fuss over me and make sure I’m okay. And then when they turn on the anesthesia you just drift off slowly into dreamland. I love that.

And then I woke up again and everything was black. I had been a little worried about that, worried that when I first woke up I wouldn’t remember what was going on and that I would panic because I couldn’t see anything. But I did remember straight away, so I did not panic. I knew I had a bandage over my one seeing eye. It was not quite as bad a feeling as I had feared after all. I was moved over on a gurney and rolled into the recovery room. Got a little iced water to drink as I regained my senses. Well, the ones that worked anyway. I think the nurse was a little worried about me at one point, she kept coming over and telling me to sit up and breathe deeply in. And then I heard her go over to an older (it sounded like) nurse and ask about the machine readings. I think it was my blood pressure, the machine said it was too low or high. The other nurse told her to check if the strap around my arm was too tight because sometimes it did that. So my nurse came back to me and fiddled with the machine and then the readings were okay. It was a little disconcerting, I felt left in the dark in more ways than one. But I was feeling fairly okay apart from that, the same as after the other operations really. Tired and groggy and with a little headache. But nothing worse than that.

So a little later I was rolled back to my room in the eye ward. Although I did get stuck in the elevator on the way. We got inside and it wouldn’t go up or down and the doors wouldn’t open. The nurse had to hold the panic button and eventually got through to someone over the communication system. But right then someone on the outside either did something or gave some addvice that helped beause then we started moving. So they didn’t have to come rescue us after all.

And I got back to my room and rested. I’m not sure for how long. Hours? Maybe. My dad was there. Nurses came and checked on me. Eventually I got something to eat and drink. Cheese on white bread. Everything still dark of course. But I could see some light through the bandage. A lighter tone of dark. Which was comforting in a way, because on my right eye there is no light ever, no matter if it’s open or closed, if I’m staring at a lamp or walking to the bathroom at night. There is nothing. So the fact that there was some light in the left one, that at least told me that I hadn’t gone completely blind. Most likely there would be something waiting for me to see when the bandage would be removed.

But it was very frustrating of course. Not being allowed to remove the bandage. Not being able to open your eyes and see. I don’t know how much you would be able to see right after eye surgery like that, but being engulfed in almost total darkness is not a nice feeling. It is not something I would like to ever try again.

After I had gotten something to eat I got my own clothes back on and went to the bathroom. I had gone before the surgery as well and had made sure to sort of memorise the layout of the bathroom. It was a small one of course, it’s not like I would have gotten lost in there. But just knowing where the sink is in relation to the toilet and where the paper towels are and such.

And then I was allowed to go home. With my dad leading me out. We took a taxi again. This time we paid for it ourselves because if you take the transport service then you have to wait upwards of an hour for it to come, and that’s not something you feel like doing after having surgery. Just wanted to go straight home.

The rest of the day was pretty much spent at my parents’ place, sitting in a chair and almost nodding off. I probably should have taken a nap. Instead I sort of half-slept and dozed off for minutes. Which just made me more and more tired. And my head hurting more. We had chicken for dinner. Which I think is okay to eat with your hands. Potatoes too, right? I guess if you’re completely blind you learn to eat in a more handy manner, but just for this once I thought it was okay to just eat it all using my hands. I passed on the sauce. Later on we had some delicious cheese cake that my mother made. I have made that a tradition. Mother makes cheese cake when I come home after surgeries.

I went to bed early. Around 6 or 7 or 8. I’m not sure. My sleeping rythm was really out of whack because of me getting up so early and sitting and dozing off in the chair half the day. And perhaps the being comatosed for a while too. I slept for a few hours and then woke up and stared into the ceiling, which was strangely completely black, and then fell asleep again. Slept most of the night through.

I had brought Michael Palin’s Sahara audiobook with me, but I had made a mistake while transferring it to my MP3 player, so I could not listen to it. That was kind of silly.

The next day we took a transport service to the hospital, and after a little waiting time (with no audibook to help me pass it) the nurse came and took off my bandage. And I could see again. What a relief.

It really was frustrating and scary and uncomfortable to be blind for a day. But at least I passed most of it by just sleeping and sitting in a chair and doing nothing. I had lots of help from my parents and it went by fairly quickly. It was easier to get through than I had feared. But still, never again I hope.

The nurse who removed my bandage was Inge (or is it Inger? I’m not sure now..). Our regular. She’s a very sweet lady, always been good to me. When the bandage was off she asked me if I could see her. And I could. I think for the first time ever I could really see her face fairly clearly. And when the doctor came to talk to us I could see his face too. And my father’s. There was a definite improvement. And I was actually starting to feel hopefully optimistic about it all, until we were going home and my dad went to go to the bathroom and I pulled out my cell phone to check it. And I couldn’t read it at all. No focus on the text. That sort of brought me a little down again.

But I have already explained all that about the focus. So how are things now, a few days later? The eye is starting to feel more comfortable. Still a little sore when I move it around. And it hurts a little sometimes when I have to take eyedrops, which I do four times a day to prevent infection.

I am getting used to the focus problem. It’s not a huge problem most of the time. I have had to increase the font size a little on some of the websites I use. But other than that I am really feeling mostly positive effects of the surgery. As I said, I can see faces better. My own in the mirror as well. And I can see the pattern in the tiles on the bathroom floor, I don’t think I could see them that clearly before. And I know I couldn’t follow football games on the telly. But on Saturday I sat down and watched Denmark beat Cameroon 2-1 in the world cup. It must be the first time in a year or more that I have actually watched a game on the telly. It isn’t perfect, but I’m able to follow the ball around and actually enjoy some of the game again. And what a game it was, very exciting and unpredictable with two horrid defences. Very entertaining. And it was just a great feeling to sit scrunched up in my comfy chair with my hands folded under my chin, hiding my face in my hands every now and then when Cameroon had a big chance, and holding my breath as the clock counted down and we got the win that we needed to still be alive in the world cup. It was a treat. I had been feeling a little bad because I couldn’t enjoy the world cup previously, because it is a big deal to a soccer fan like me. Eespecially when Denmark are participating. So it makes me happy to have regained some of that. I haven’t watched any of the other games yet, it’s too stresful to be watching a ton of games. But when Denmark plays Japan on Thursday I will definitely watch. I am looking forward to it.

So yes, the surgery has clearly improved some things. It seems like I’m getting more light into the eye now. Things that used to be too dark are better now. I have even turned down some of the brightness and contrast on my TV and computer. I can see the digits on my alarm clock better at night too. I can see the wall in the other room here from the computer.

And I’m slowly getting used to not being able to focus on things that are close to me. It can be annoying at times. But it’s not a disaster. And the fact that my vision has gotten better also helps with reading small things, I just have to have the magnifying glass up to help. But with the magnifier I can read things that I couldn’t read with it before. Things that I just simply couldn’t read at all, I can now read with magnifying glass. So that gives me a little hope that with the proper reading glasses I can have it a little easier and enjoy an overall positive effect of the surgery. I am feeling pretty positive about it right now, with the hope that it will get even better. So thumbs up so far.

One negative thing is that my eyesight has been turning a little yellow again. The doctors told me that it was probably because of the oil, that it had gotten a little dirty or something. But now that the oil has been removed it is still happening. So I guess it’s not the oil. I don’t know what the explanation could be then, but I guess I’ll just have to live with it. It usually happens when I’ve been sitting at the computer for a while. The white colours become a little darker, sort of yellowy. And it will usually clear up when I go away and do something else. It’s not exclusively at the computer though. But anyway, it’s nothing too disastrous, I can still see when it happens. Just a little weird and annoying.

But that’s how things are going now. On Thursday I have to go to my private eye doctor to have a post-surgery checkup. The hospital treatment is actually over now, there is nothing more that they can do for me with surgeries and such. Normally in that case you’d be discharged, sent out of their system and into the private eye doc system. But because of my extensive problems we agreed that it would be a good idea for me to come back to the hospital in September, so they could have a look at my eyes and see how things are going. I’m happy about that because it means I am still in their system which means it should be beasier and faster for me if something unexpected happens, if I get more problems. Then I don’t have to go to my own doc to get a referral to the hospital, I can just go straight to them. So that’s good.

But hopefully all the hospital stuff is over now. There’s going to be a month or so of letting the eye settle and then we’ll look at visual aids and that’s about it. That’s all there is left to do now.

And if you read all that then you deserve a cookie. So go buy yourself one.

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