I got some very bad news yesterday. I went to the doctor, but that’s not where I got the bad news. Although my blood pressure was a little too high. But my heart and blood tests were fine. No, afterwards I went to the playground. I came through the park and as I was crossing the road to get to the playground I heard bodil calling out to me. When I got to her she said “Lasse, you have heard that the little goat died, haven’t you?”. No. Grethe passed away.

It was something of a shock to me. I hadn’t been at the playground for almost two weeks I think. I’ve been feeling a little semi-sick and unhappy. And while I was gone I guess Grethe got sick again. It’s not so long ago she was feeling unwell. But she got better. I thought. I haven’t talked to any of the playground staff, but from what Bodil told me, it might have been something with her stomach again. Maybe indigestion? One of the staffers is apparently saying that the vet gave Grethe some wrong medicine and that’s why she died. I don’t know, I hope they find out what happened but I don’t really feel up to start investigating anything. I just feel very sad about it of course. Grethe was a little sweetheart. I named her, and I was so looking forward to seeing her grow older. After all the goat kids I have had to say goodbye to, she was the one I was going to get to see all grown up. It feels very wrong that she was taken away so early.

Bodil was very comforting. She knew how I’d feel about it of course. She told me that her hands had gotten all clammy when she saw me, and she hadn’t known whether to talk to me about it or not. But I’m glad she did. That was a better way of finding out than going to the pen and not finding Grethe anywhere to be seen. I would have had to go looking for staffers and ask about it and such. Nicer to hear it from Bodil. While Sif was making contented groaning noises as I scratched her head. They headed off to the park while I headed to the goat pen.

There is a new goat already. Goats need company, so there’s a new friend for Magnethe. And me. Although I don’t think they are quite friendly yet. Bodil told me too. Magnethe is pushing the new one around a lot. But that’s the goat way. Magnethe needs to establish that she’s the boss. Hopefully they’ll manage to get along in time. The new goat is completely white. All over. Like the snow on the ground. She seems very sweet. I’m not sure how old she is or what her name is. I’d call her Snowflake, if it wasn’t so clichéed. When I went into the pen she baahed along with Magnethe, but didn’t come over to say hello. She staid at the other end of the pen. Until Magnethe eventually started wandering a little away from me. Then she came closer to me to say hello. Sniffed my hands a little. But Magnethe quickly chased her away again. Not interested in sharing Plume. I just took things slow. Sat with Magnethe for the most and let the new one get used to me being there. And sneaked some time with her when I could. Gave her a little of the old bread I had brought. That’s always a good way to make friends with goats. And she seemed to like getting scratchies on her neck and head, didn’t mind it at all like Grethe sometimes did. She seemed quite trusting, which is maybe a little surprising because apparently she’d had a close encounter with an attack dog once. She’s missing a bit of one ear. Bodil told me about it. She seems trusting enough with humans, but obviously not too keen on dogs. Even little ones like Sif. Her horns aren’t fully grown, but they aren’t exactly small either. I’d guess she’s about a year old or thereabouts. I’ll have to talk to Per or Alice, preferably, at some point. Learn some more. But I just didn’t feel up to doing anything other than just sitting quietly with the goats.

Bodil also told me that both goats are apparently, possibly, probably pregnant. So that would mean Magnethe is pregnant by Hans, her son, unless they managed to sneak something by me. I was away for quite a bit during christmas and new years. But I do remember Per talking about how Hans had probably staid for too long. I don’t think it’s a huge problem, as long as it’s not something that’s allowed to go on unchecked. I think once like this isn’t a catastrophe. But we’ll see I guess. I don’t need more bad news. RIght now I am feeling a little sick of it all. More babies will mean more kids that I have to say goodbye to. And I can’t help worrying about Magnethe too. She’s getting to be fairly old and I have had to say goodbye to everyone else. She’s the last link I have left to that time when I started going to the playground and falling in love with goats and all the positivity they brought me. I’m sure I will become good friends with the new goat. But it’s not the same. Even my relationship with Magnethe is not the same as it was with Mads. Mads who came to me in my dream the other day because he knew I was going to need comforting. That’s what I choose to believe anyway. I’m not sure exactly when Grethe passed away, I don’t think it was on the day that I dreamt about Mads. But on the great green pasture in the sky there is no past or future, there is only now. So it can be hard to time your visits when you have to pop back into the real world to say hello to old friends.

So it goes.

I’m feeling quite sad, cold and tired. But life goes on I guess.

Rest in peace Grethe. See you on the other side.

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