Time for the surgery story. I’ll just throw something quick together from my notes.

Yes, I have notes. I brought a notebook. I didn’t use it though. When I got back to my room after the operation, the nurse got me some stuff from my bag. But she didn’t get my notebook. And I didn’t feel like bothering her, so I started writing down notes in my copy of Brian Aldiss’ “Supertoys Last All Summer Long – and other stories of future time”. As it says on the cover “Now filmed as Steven Spielberg’s A.I.”. So that’s some fancy notebook I have. Don’t worry, it’s just a cheap secondhand copy. And I only wrote in the back.

Didn’t get to read it though.

You and I are real, Teddy, aren’t we?

It all started off rather peacefully. I went to the hospital on my own, with a little bag with books and music and other small trinkets. I had to wait a little bit while the nurses and doctors had a morning meeting. It’s a small place. A small private hospital, not a big general one.

The doctor soon came and introduced himself. Torben Møller-Christensen. We talked briefly and then one of the nurses took over. Brought me to my room. It was a double room, two beds. But luckily I got it all to myself. That was good. I would have felt a lot less comfortable if I had had to share it with someone else.

We didn’t waste any time, started prepping me for the operation right away. I had to take some pills, painkillers. And that was a problem. I normally don’t have a problem swallowing pills. Unless I really, really have to swallow pills. Then I get a problem. Go figure. I know it’s all psychological. But I just get incapable of getting those little things down. And it was complicated by the fact that I wasn’t allowed to drink before the operation. I could only get one, very small, glass of water.

For a while I thought we’d just have to call the whole thing off. But finally I managed to get the pills down. Phew. The hardest part was over. Haha.

I got out of my clothes and into a hospital gown thing. Luckily not one of those things I see on American TV, with the butt showing you know. I got to keep my butt to myself.

The doctor came and started drawing on my upper body. Always easier when you have instructions to follow. “Cut here, tighten here, tuck there”.

Got into the surgery room. That was the hardest part. Just when I got in there. Seeing the doctor, the anesthesiologist and a couple of nurses. And surgical instruments. I got quite scared right there. And when I layed down and looked up at the bright lights I was thinking things like “Oh no, this is a mistake. I can’t do this”. Luckily you don’t have much choice at that point. The nurse stuck a needle in me. I don’t know what it’s called. A drain? A drop? I can’t remember. But apparently they were filling me up with salt water or saline solution or something or other. I forget the details. Then the nurse told me that I would be anesthetized. From my extensive research (in American drama series) I had gotten the impression that they would slip a big gas mask over my head and I’d count down from 10 and pass out from the gas in the mask. Not quite how it happened. They did have that gas mask thingie, but that was just to get as pure oxygen as possible in my blood. Or something like that. The anesthetic itself came though the needle. I didn’t have to count or anything. The nurse asked if I could feel anything happening. I said no. But then shortly after that I felt it coming. Washing over me. Like a huge, comfy blanket. Smothering me in marshmallowy softness. And I went out like a light.

I loved that. It was a really funny and nice feeling. I have always wondered about how the last moments before you fall asleep are. But I can never remember. When I wake up in the morning I can never remember the feeling. I can never remember what my last thoughts were before I fell asleep. I always wonder if you sort of gradually space out or if it’s like flipping a switch on/off. Not that being anesthetized is like falling asleep exactly. But I remember the feeling, I remember my thoughts. I remember drifting off into the great beyond. I liked that alot.

An undertermined amount of time later I woke up again. Slowly regaining my senses. Still in the operating room. A nurse somewhere in the blurry part of the room asked how I was. And if there was anything I wanted. And for some reason the first thing that came to my mind was that I wanted her to take a picture of me there. I tried to tell her that, but I’m not sure how coherent I was. A strange feeling. My head felt clear, my mind fast. But my actions were sort of trying to catch up. Like running in water.

The nurse carted me back to my room. And she took a couple of pictures of me with my camera.

I got some more pain killers. And then I think I slept for a while. Rested. At some point the nurse came and gave me some crackers and apple slices. It reminded me of Magnethe. Chewing apple slices.

The doctor came and talked to me. The nurse too. Everyone was very nice. I was very tired. Drowsy. There was a little pain, but nothing too bad.

The bed had a mechanical control. Bed goes up, bed goes down, bed goes up, bed goes down. There was a TV on the wall. The nurse gave me the remote. Only 2 channels, I guess they couldn’t afford cable. There was a clock on the wall, next to the TV. But the time was off. No batteries left. So the nurse took it down and went to get new batteries.

I only left the bed once that day. To go the bathroom. I felt like a mummy. Gauze strapped around my chest. My arms wavering in front of me because I couldn’t really move them much.

The rest of the time I spent in bed, dozing in and out of sleep. Watching TV. With only two channels and it being early in the day there really wasn’t much to watch. The Cosby Show. Family Ties. Ancient sitcoms on perpetual repeat.

The morning nurse was replaced by the evening nurse. She was very nice too. It was a good feeling, being taken care off. All I had to do was lift the phone and I could get help. Or something to drink. Or whatever. It wasn’t anywhere near as hard as I had imagined. I was tired, carefree and comfy. Not too shabby.

At some point the doctor came and talked to me. He told me that they had removed 330 grams from one breast, 430 from the other. 760 grammes all in all. That’s a fair bit.

In the evening I watched soccer. Denmark-Georgia. The nurse was following the game too. She came and gave me a little bowl of ice cream. And a glass of cola. Which she refilled for me a couple of times. They scored a goal while she was getting me cola. Quite funny. “What, they scored already? I guess you were right”. She had asked me who I thought would win. I had said Denmark. Of course. We won 6-1.

After the game I went to sleep. That was around 10 pm. A long day.

The next morning the night nurse came and removed the gauze. Instead I had to put on this tight vest thing that I’m still wearing. Sort of a cross between a vest and a sports bra.

I went and looked in the mirror. Even with the swelling and the vest it still looked… almost flat. Like a whole new person.

Soon after that my mother came and helped me get home.

…And now it’s more than a week later. Tomorrow I’m going back to the hospital to get the stitches removed. So far I am extremely happy with how everything have gone. I already feel better about myself, and that was the main point of having this done. I almost can’t believe that this has happened. It was worth the wait.

The end.

Oh and don’t worry about the passworded entry. There’s nothing there yet. I’ll get back to that later.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 15th, 2005 at 23:36 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.