Tom Hanks Giving
Today will be a good day. This is Magnethe with her babies Hans and Grethe from 2010.
20/11 2017
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Good goat times today. First off I had to stop by my parents place to do some tech support. Meant getting out in the freezing cold dark. But at least I got to enjoy the golden light of the sun coming up. And I managed to get their new printer working. That counts as a good deed, right? I think according to Mia and Mio every peanut I give them counts as a good deed too. So I did a lot of good deeds today. A whole lot. Took the ladies out of their pen for a walkabout. We got a little bit further than usual. Found some trees that had a few leaves left. And got to work on changing that. Also picking fallen leaves from the frosted ground. Today I used my first pair of chemical handwarmers of the season. Brrr. I guess it’s time for gloves. And maybe even my skullcap to keep the coconut warm. And before you know it I’ll need the thermal underwear to keep other assorted nuts warm.
Sorry.
But goat time is good for the soul. I know many of you, if not most, subscribe to the notion of animals being better than humans. But I don’t know how many have the same level of it as I do. With my social phobia it’s literally painful for me to be around people. Just ask Lisa about her visit. I did as well as I could, but I’m sure she’d tell you that I’m not exactly normal in conversation. I just can’t with humans. But then with the goats it’s so easy. Pure and simple and just happiness. I wish I could teach my brain to react to humans the way it reacts to goats.
I love their different ways. Mia’s frantic, needy smoochfest. Mio’s calm, stoic cuddles. I miss Palle’s hugs. I wish so much he could have been with us here at this place. I miss the way he’d launch himself at me. Even the surprise hugs that practically knocked me out. Sigh. But I love our two ladies. Walking around with them out of the pen, it’s like the people I see walking the paths with their dogs. I pity the fools who think animals are just products.
20/11 2017
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Out in the frost. At least it was sunny.
20/11 2017
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Here comes the sun.
And if you’re asking yourself “Is Lasse going to post too many photos of this” the answer might surprise you. Or probably not.
20/11 2017
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Time to surf the sunbeams to the shores of twilight and crackling embers. See you in the flames, if you walk with us.
20/11 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day, everybody.
21/11 2017
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When you’re not comfortable hugging but you’re too polite to say no.
Haha, Mio does pull some fun faces too sometimes.
21/11 2017
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That thing when you’re buying candy and you realise you’re in a dream and you think to yourself “Well if this is a dream I might as well get all the candy” and then you start loading up the shopping kart with everything you can get your hands on.
21/11 2017
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All the gold I need is in the sky
21/11 2017
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Treefingers
21/11 2017
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goatlog
21/11 2017
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Recently I watched season 2 of Channel Zero and there’s a character called Margot (pronounced Margo) and it’s the kind of show where people cry out names a lot and every time someone cried out Margo I couldn’t help answering “POLO!” in my head.
So that’s a thing you know about me now.
21/11 2017
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I’ve been having big problems with Facebook being really sluggish. But a few hours more of experimenting and I seem to have fixed the issue. Maybe. Now as soon as I’ll post this my computer will explode or Facebook will ban me for posting rude and obscene jokes about coconuts or something. Just you wait and see. But I can actually reply to comments on Mia’s page without it taking 5 minutes for every comment. So that’s a plus.
21/11 2017
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John Lasseter?! What is this world coming to. Also, now I’ll have to change my name to Dudley Linno Henriksen. I was going to go for Weird Al Frankenstein, but maybe not so much. Sheesh.
Maybe I’ll be Doug Jones.
22/11 2017
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Just a little more light.
22/11 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.
22/11 2017
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IT WAS ME
22/11 2017
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I’m just going to say it right now, if Roy Moore gets elected then I’m going to do daily rants about Trump for the rest of the year, at least.
So, if you have friends in Alabama please tell them to do all they can to avoid this catastrophe. And by that I mean me posting daily political rants, not Roy Moore getting elected. Although that would also be pretty bad.
I know Repurblicans can’t vote for demurcrats, and vice versa. That’s how politics work in this day and age. It’s not about what’s best for the state or country or the world. It’s about what’s best for [the side you’re on]. Fair enough. But the fact that there are so many people prepared to still vote for him, and there are elected officials publically saying that even if he was guilty they’d still vote for him. If that is where we are, then there are just no standards left. Do not for a second tell me that your god or whatever or whoever you believe in would be okay with someone like Roy Moore. Just don’t. Trump, you can come up with reasons. Even if I don’t agree with them. Like at all. But Roy Moore? If people are okay with Roy Moore then no wonder the world is going down the drain. No wonder they’ll get away with tax cuts for millionaire’s jetplanes but not for teachers’ school supplies. And all the other horrible, evil things you’re letting them do because they’re on your side in the couple of things that really matter to you. Come on. Betsy DeVos. Rick Perry. Ben Carson. Steve Bannon. Brothers Humpy and Dumbty. So many morons and almost everyone put in positions in agencies and places that they have actively worked against or at least have zero experience with. Bankers and lawyers and rich old white men and shit. If it was just Trump. Yeah, an outsider. Someone telling it like it is. Change. But for Sneaky Pete’s sake. I know the polls are fake news and a conspiracy by the deep state to discredit the honourable tiki torch youth, but he’s tanking. And as an outsider I can tell you that all the polls about America’s regard sinking in the rest of the world, it’s pretty accurate. You can dig your heels in and keep America Firsting but at some point you’ll end up being America Only, and that’s not a good place to be. You’re going to build your walls so high that some day you’ll wake up and realise you’ve entombed yourself. Even people at Fox News are starting to be critical. Well, two. They’ll probably be tarred and feathered before long. By the way I like Shep. Right from when I saw him on The Soup years ago. He’s the only Fox News person that I actually like. And it’s not just because he sometimes says things I agree with. I have no idea if he’s a huge Trump fan and thinks goats should deported. He’s just kind of funny and sometimes he makes sense. Those are two qualities I like in a man. But I’d appreciate it if you’d stop asking, I don’t feel the need to define our relationship and it’s really none of your business and look, I send flowers to lots of people so don’t read anything into that.
Now, I think I have blabbered on long enough to make my point. If Roy Moore gets elected I’m going to do this every day and then you’ll be longing for the days of Herman Cain and smurfs being 2d. Don’t do this to us. And don’t say I didn’t warn you. I hold you personally responsible. Yes, you. It’s all down to you.
22/11 2017
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Now, wouldn’t you rather see Mio every day? I know I would. It’s all up to you.
22/11 2017
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My new thing is eating rice with potato chips. I scoop up the rice with a chip. A chips? A .slice. Well, you get the idea. And I’m sure you’ll agree it’s a proper adult thing to do and part of a well balanced diet. Right in the secret chamber that was recently uncovered in the food pyramid. Next to pizza and ice cream.
22/11 2017
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I have seen the light, and it is good. The giant fireball in the sky will purify us and torch our souls to show the world that we are good. Fire walk with us.
22/11 2017
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Today will be a good day. This is Preben, the mighty. He was the father of both Mia and Palle. Yes… that wasn’t exactly planned. But a handsome buck.
23/11 2017
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Good goat times today. Grey and windy. When I got to the playground it started raining a little too. Not a lot of rain, but it was cold and the wind was harsh. So the goaties didn’t really feel like going out. Me neither. Spent most of the time inside with them. Until the sun actually came out for a little while. Then we went out and picked fallen leaves. Anything can be fun if the company is goat.
23/11 2017
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It’s raining a little. What are the chances of grandma coming out?
Not for all the peanuts in the world, not by the whiskers on her chinny chin chin.
23/11 2017
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It’s time to start wearing my mini-scarf. It fits neatly under my coat. I feel like I should have photoshopped in a goat in this picture, because… posting selfies without goats? What’s that all about?
23/11 2017
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Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends. I am very thankful to have all you good Faceboxers, as well as the goats and my family. Even though it’s been a hard time, I am still blessed in many ways.
23/11 2017
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Happy TomHanksgiving, am I right? May the T.Hanks be with you.
Also, dinner is cancelled. The tofu turkey escaped.
23/11 2017
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I know, Mousy. I am also tired. Time to count sheeple and fall ashleep. See you in the funny pages and another life, brother. See you when you get there, if you make the list. Catch the Zs, not disease.
I think I’m ready for my new job as slogan person who makes themer.
23/11 2017
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Today will be a good day. These are Mio’s babies Tiny, Medium and Large. You can’t quite tell from the picture but they were 3 different sizes, hence their names. I just thought those would be temporary names, but this was around the time the people at the playground discovered that I had a Facebook page and they got the names from the page and they became permanent. Unfortunately little Tiny did not survive long. She just wasn’t strong enough. Medium and Large moved to a new home where they got the nicer names Bob and Lucy. Last I heard they were doing well there.
24/11 2017
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Dany of you know Rasmus Klump?
24/11 2017
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As a special post-Thanksgiving treat here is some exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of Mia watching me setup the cam before joining her. Normally hours of this kind of stuff gets edited out before posting. But here it is, premium content! And while I may not have the grace of a sack of lumpy potatoes, at least I have the good looks of a sack of lumpy onions.
video: behind the scenes
24/11 2017
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goatlog
24/11 2017
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You may have sensed that I’m not a super reiligous kind of person. But when walking from my parents’ place I always like walking by this local church. There’s just something lovely about it up there on the hill. It’s even nicer in summertime. With the grass all green and flowers. And a flag on the pole.
24/11 2017
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It’s funny the things you can’t forget
24/11 2017
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Hand in hand, hoof in hoof
24/11 2017
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I’m so honoured that Time magazine wanted to make me their Person of the Year, but I just felt I couldn’t accept this honour since they wouldn’t let me have my goaties with me in the cover photo. Thanks anyway!
25/11 2017
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Today will be a good day. I think I have gone through introductions of most of the goats I have known through the years now. So now it’ll just be more or less random flashbacks. Here’s Peanut and Popcorn, and I think there’s a human somewhere in there too.
25/11 2017
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Here’s another outtake. I’m not sure the soundtrack of the horse peeing in the background is appropriate for Mia’s page. So you get this premium content because you’re a paid subscriber to the Lasse Goat Network. By the way, if you haven’t already please PM me your credit card number. You don’t want to lose access to this premium content!
video: Mia and me
25/11 2017
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goatlog
25/11 2017
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And I would walk 500 miles and I.. eh. You know what? Why don’t you do you? I’ll be on the couch with a diet coke. Let’s reschedule this whole thing. Call me tomorrow and if I don’t pick up then leave a message and I’ll get back to you. I would probably do that for you.
#Diehardromantic
25/11 2017
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Sports Illustrated called me and said I’d probably get picked for the cover of their swimsuit issue, but I told them no way I would appear in a bikini. It’s bodypainted Baywatch red swimsuit or nothing. Thanks anyway!
25/11 2017
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Don’t quit your day job, uncle comedian.
25/11 2017
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That’s me done and dusted for the day. Heading to bed early so I can party all night in the dreamshire. If you’d like to join us then look for the guy in the fedora and feather boa. …and then ask him where I am, because I’d never be wearing something like that haha nervous laughter ha ha phew I think I got away with it, now to stop typing and calmly back away while they’re busy watching the squirrel fight club that just broke out.
And awaaaay we go.
25/11 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.
26/11 2017
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Apropos Palle Funday. I woke up sad because I dreamt about him. Sort of. It was weird. I was back in school with my old class. And Palle was there. Only, he was a boy. That wasn’t what struck me as weird in the dream though. It was the fact that he was alive, since he was supposed to be dead. It made me think I was in a dream. But it was so coherent. I asked the others around me if it wasn’t weird that Palle was alive again. And they agreed but shrugged it off. It was so odd. I’m used to thinking that dreams ought to burst like a bubble when they’re questioned. Like the head of a Star Trek robot exploding when it can’t compute an illogical statement. When you’re in a dream and you’re thinking (and arguing with people around you) that it’s a dream then you ought to wake up. But no. There were other weird things too. But I just woke up feeling sad because.. Palle is still gone.
Interestingly, the boy that was Palle in the dream was… a guy I went to school with named Pelle. Pelle Palle. I only realised this after I woke up. In the dream he was definitely Palle. He was Palle the goat who was a boy, but still Palle.
26/11 2017
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You guys, look what I got! Thank you SO much Keiko Murakami! Beautiful, beautiful art of my two dear pygmy friends. Wonderful drawing of Yogi with rainbow horns. So pretty. And I don’t even know what it’s called, but this white on black thing of Mads is just gorgeous. It looks even better in person.
Thank you, Keiko. Your art brings smile and love just like the goats do! I know the other animal owners that you’ve made art for will agree. It means a lot to us!
Oh yes, and she also sent a book! The Dharma of Star Wars. Haha. I’ll read that in my Dharma station. (You guys remember Lost, right?)
26/11 2017
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I like this angle when you can see their little feetsies like this.
26/11 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.
That’s all for this week.