Elevations
Today will be a good day. Have a Mads Monday. Here he is from 2006.
5/11 2018
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Good goat times today. Pretty gloomy out, but at least there was very little wind. That makes it a lot more comfortable. Touring the grounds with the goats, looking for scraps of green. Some silly running around, getting sperated by fences and getting in places they shouldn’t be. But all in good fun. Grazing along the kindergarten fence, with a few little ones excitedly blabbering on the other side.
And then things got freaky in the goat house again. Mia trying to hump first Milo then Sky, with bucky grunting noises. Sheesh, someone needs a boyfriend.
5/11 2018
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Yeah, grandma got past me and made it to the forbidden zone. Can’t keep a good goat down.
5/11 2018
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When they open the voting ballots let it be like the opening of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Let it burn away all the nazis.
5/11 2018
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“If we find a way to crack this giant coconut we’ll be fed for days…”
Well, the Lasse unit is heading to the bed place. Further inquiries can be directed to the Q Continuum.
Oh, and remember to vote if you’re American. Now, I’d never presume to tell you who to vote for. But if you want me to whine less about politics…
5/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.
6/11 2018
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I slept so much. And I dreamt so much. Many beautiful things. Sad too. I dreamt of Palle. I dreamt of finding him lifeless… but then we shook him and he started to come to and we massaged his belly and he spit out the bad stuff he had eaten. If only that was how it had gone in real life…
6/11 2018
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Idris Elba is the sexiet man alive?
Once again my hopes are crushed. Voting truly does not matter. It’s all rigged by the Russians anyway. Can’t believe I waxed my bikini line for nothing.
6/11 2018
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We’re a little on the fence about this.
Get it?
Goat Distraction Squad on the job.
7/11 2018
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Well, I sure appreciate this happy ending. It looked bad for a while, but everything is going to… wait, where’s the body of the insane axe murderer? He was right there…
OHMYGOD THE POLL IS COING FROM INSIDE THE HOU
7/11 2018
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I remember seeing all the #MeToo posts coming in on Facebook, being shocked at how there was seemingly no end to them. It was an eyeopener (for a straight white male as myself). And a needed one. But I sure like the feeling of seeing all the I Voted posts better.
It makes me wish I could vote tonight too. Unfortunately I missed the bus that the Democrats sent to Denmark to bring in illegal socialist votes from Europe.
7/11 2018
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To distract you from the election, here is a guy posing next to a fuzzy goat butt.
7/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone. Keep love a light.
7/11 2018
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Flying superkid
7/11 2018
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Did we save the world? Did we save.. the cheerleader.. did we save me obiwankenoby you’re my only hope.. did we won’t believe these crazy savings.. did we didgeridoo diddily ding dong my sandwitch is ready
7/11 2018
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Stan Against Evil season 3 is on. Better than ever. I’ve seen John C McGinley in 3 shows and he basically plays the same character in all 3 and I basically forking love him in all 3. If you have ever wondered what it would be like if Dr Cox from Scrubs was Buffy from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, go watch Stan Against Evil.
Toads to the max.
7/11 2018
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After all the allegations that dead people vote for Democrats, it’s kinda funny that a dead Republican won his election. I think it’s pretty clear who the dead vote for.
Several indicted guys won too, so that accounts for the illegals voting I guess?
7/11 2018
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We all know grandma is pulling the strings from the shadows anyway. Deep Goat State.
7/11 2018
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Back to dreams I go. It was fun having hope for a day, but it’ll be nice to get back to everything being on fire with sirens in the background again.
Just kidding. Lighten up. Everything is fine. Worse things happen at sea.
7/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Finn and Jacob from 2009.
8/11 2018
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Wherever it may take you
8/11 2018
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goatlog
8/11 2018
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Sorry, grandma. You’re on the wrong side.
8/11 2018
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Live action Cassian Andor TV series? Iiinteresting. I need like 12 more Star Wars shows to keep me away from reality, though.
Gimme that Tatooine show already.
8/11 2018
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Watching the new episode of The Good Place and there are goats bleating. This is not a drill. There are goats bleating. Everybody be quiet, I need to focus.
8/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Clark and Herman and a human visitor from 2014.
8/11 2018
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Good goat times today. Twas a dark and foggy morning. A little creepy actually. And it only got creepier when I turned the corner at the playground and encountered a dark figure standing still, watching me. He was standing at that corner where Mio did her failed limbo attempt if you saw that video a couple of days ago. There’s branch across the fence opening. And in fact the dark figure started to move.. and knocked down that branch, like a failed goat limbo attempt. Said something in a human voice, so that assured me that it was in fact a human and not some ghastly demon waiting to collect my soul. Still a little creepy that he was just standing there in the dark fog, though. I thought maybe he was watching the horses in their pen. But now that I think about it, he wouldn’t really have been able to see them through the fog. Not gonna lie, it scared me a little. Probably just someone out for a walk who’d stopped to grab a smoke, or something. Or a demon from hell who would have murdered me if he hadn’t tripped that branch. Who knows.
The goats were out in the pen when I got to them (hastily walking there without looking back. Because we all know if you’re being followed by an axe murderer they can’t hurt you if you don’t look back). They were a little spooked too, though. When I opened their gate they didn’t want to come out. Milo and Sky eventually, carefully got out. Mia wouldn’t walk past the gate until I lured her with a treat. Grandma didn’t even want to consider leaving the goat house. Yeah, they don’t like the dark fog. Didn’t help that just then a man walked by the pen with a dog (I don’t think it was the dark figure person, that one didn’t have a dog I think. Or maybe he did and I just didn’t see it and everything is fine you guys can someone check outside my front door?!). Sent Milo and Sky running back to the pen for safety. It was a little dog and it was on a leash. But Mia was still properly freaked. The dog did that thing of sort of jumping back and forth sideways and barking. And Mia carefully advanced on it with a deathly stare in its direction. I figured I’d better not take any chances so I walked into the goat pen and called them all with me. And so we spent some time in the goat house until everyone felt a little safer. Grandma still didn’t want to leave the pen, but she eventually followed after the rest of us had left and walked around the corner.
We walked around for a bit trying, to find some greens. Then things got more fun as a group of kids, probably a school or kindergarten group, came to visit. One of their adults told me that they’d been having a “Three Billy Goats Gruff” theme and they wanted to go see some real goats. So that was nice. They had a bag of bread which the goats were not allowed to have. Naturally the goats wanted it. Badly. So there was a bit of panic, but all in good fun. And some of the kids would afterwards go “Oh no it’s the bread thieves” every time they saw the goats. And then they sang the son, from the fairy tale I think? About the three goats and the trolls and how you shouldn’t reply to their comments online. Something like that. When they left they thanked me for the opportunity to see and talk about the goats and I thanked them for the song.
Then grandma got in a bit of trouble. She ttried to get up to the forbidden zone and got into a place of dense trees and bushes where I couldn’t really follow. It’s a small place, it’s not like they could really get lost in there. But I did get a little worried as a I found a way in and then stumbled around crashing through bushes and breaking branches, feeling like Indiana Jones in a thick jungle. It took quite some time and effort to get in there and catch grandma and get her out. Grandma is the key. If I get her out then I just have to call and whistle and the others will follow. They got that herd mentality and don’t want to be left behind. Grandma got that “I’m the queen bee and ima do what I want so I’ll go this way and if you don’t follow then bye felicia, see you when you get there”. Calling and whistling for her doesn’t really work if she’s got her mind set on something else. I might actually have to start bring some rope when we go out now. There’s so little green that they wander and seek a lot and grandma’s got her mind set on the forbidden zone and now she’ll probably want to go in the jungle too. Sheesh. Potted plants don’t escape to the jungle.
But it’s all in good fun. More eventful day than I had planned, but at least the soul-eating dark demon of the foggy downs didn’t catch me.
Sorry about the long entry. I don’t make the news, I just report them.
8/11 2018
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Grandma’s name is Nope.
8/11 2018
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The fog goat
8/11 2018
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Yeah, grandma wins another round
8/11 2018
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Into the fog of dreams I go
8/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe and a couple of lambs from 2005.
10/11 2018
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Orange you glad I didn’t say fog?
10/11 2018
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Finished reading Stephen King’s Elevation. It was short. But it came with Laurie, which is about a man getting a dog. And it made me want to get a dog.
Of course, the goats would never forgive me.
11/11 2018
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3:20 am pizza sesh, you up?
11/11 2018
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Topical Lasse quiz:
As a kid, was I the Dungeon Master for a group of classmates playing Dungeons & Dragons?
11/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy funday everyone.
11/11 2018
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Do I regret not investing in MicroSoft stock 30 years ago? Sure. But even moreso I regret not investing in cake the last time I went shopping.
11/11 2018
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That was quite lovely, Pete Davidson apologising to Dan Crenshaw on SNL. But I mean, Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions drinking from the water bottle. Wow.
11/11 2018
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Paint the way
11/11 2018
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This is the kind of stable genius you miss if you don’t follow me on the tweeter:
Lasse Plume @djaliplume
Actually, I think it would probably be a good idea to keep Trump out of the rain. And also, make sure he finishes his cheeseburger before midnight. #GremlinFromTheKremlin
11/11 2018
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Okay, I won’t quit my day job as scruffy looking goat herder
11/11 2018
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Respect to the vets out there, hope everyone is safe from the fires, And thank you to everyone who shines a little light. Every light you find is precious.
11/11 2018
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I am the sleeper, what world is this?
13/11 2018
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, rest in peace Stan Lee. I was never a Marvel guy, but can’t deny, Stan was the man. Excelsior.
13/11 2018
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Late night goat butts for the mature audience.
13/11 2018
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That’s all for this week.