Normal Abnormal
Happy Mio Monday everyone. I hope it will be a good one.
22/8 2022
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Another day of double goat duty. Visiting with the oldfurs and the newfurs. I feel like a divorce dad going from home to home. Wait, that’sn ot how it works. I guess I’m the kid, going to mom’s house and then dad’s house. Well, that doesn’t quite work either. But you get what i mean.
When the big move was about to go down I felt worst for MMS, being moved and going through all that and having to adjust to a new home. But more and more I feel they’re much better off. Well, of course the simple fact that they have a (hopefully now) permanent home means a lot. But it just also feels like a good home.
SNL has an uncertain future and a pen that feels empty, without their family and without all the greens to take their minds off it like MMS have.
It’s not like they are completely despondent and besides themselves, but I can definitely feel they’re off. Especially Nuller is not as exuberant and inyourface as he used to be. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Maybe he misses duking it out with his half-bro.
Sigh. Well I managed to give the list of possible leads for new homes to Lars. It took some fighting off fear from me, because he was inside in a meeting when I got there, and I had to go around looking, hen asking someone, then getting inside and sort of interrupting their meeting. Wasn’t easy for me. But I got it done. And gave the list. I don’t know if any of the stuff on it will be useful. I can only hope. I’m glad I managed to get it delivered at least.
I didn’t manage to ask Malene if they might consider taking the other 3. I had a couple of chances but lost my nerve. Then I told myself, I’ll ask when I leave. I still have to put MMS inside when I go so Mia doesn’t jump the fence. So I’ll go and tell them I’ve put the goats inside and they can let them back out again when i’m gone and they’ve calmed down, and then I’ll bring up possibly taking the other goats. But then when I was leaving, Malene was in a meeting. And that one I couldn’t interrupt. Darn. I will try again as soon as possible.
I really wish we could get all the goats back together again at the new place. More and more I’m liking it More and more it’s feeling like a good place with really good people who care. More and more I feel almost.. happy. That MMS are there. Almost… excited to go there. If it wasn’t for the great shadow of the SNL situation weighing on me I would almost be.. content with the change. It would be so good if we could get them all there. As I’ve said, I don’t think it will happen. But I will try. When Malene and the others first came to get their goats, Malene was saying she only wanted 2 because it would be cruel to have 3 goats in that inside house they have. You’ve all seen it, it’s perfectly fine 3 goats in there. I love that she is mindful for it, but as just a place to sleep, it’s plenty. And if they can clear out the other room where the scouts are storing stuff, well they should have enough space for 3 more. And outside there’s plenty of space. I hope Malene can be shown that they do have space for that. But it might not be enough. They may simple not want more than 3 goats, they may not feel they can take properly care of that many or have the finances to support that many (and I know many of you would gladly donate to that, but a government institution just isn’t going to take my word for it that we can keep bringing in donations in perpetuity, it’s not a sanctuary like Esther’s where fundraising is part of the equation. It needs to work on their own budgets). Anyway. I will try. It would mean the world.
Because really, it feels like such a good place. I got there pretty early today but the goats were already out. Jeanette was there working. I met her on the moving day I believe. We talked and she said “I know you met a lot of people and had a lot to deal with that day so I just want to re-introduce myself”. I thought that was so very kind and considerate of her. And helpful, because yes there’s no way i could keep track of everyone I met that day. I told her that because I can’t see faces well I might have problems connecting names and people and so I might forget some names now and then and she was very undderstanding of that.
When the goats saw me they hollered and came running. And Jeanette went “aww they’re so happy to see you!”. And I was happy to see them, doing well after their first weekend in the new place.
Jeanette was walking around working on the grounds while I hung out with the goats. At one point a group of kindergarten kids and some adults came. I talked to them at the fence while they petted the goats and Jeanette came over and joined the conversation, talking to me and the visitors. She was teaching them the goats’ name. Hey, it turns out Sky may be named after Paw Patrol? I’ve heard that name before but I don’t really know what it is. Some kind of kids cartoon? Sky may be named after someone in that, and I never even knew.
Later Malene came by and the goats again reacted to seeing her quite nicely. Milo and Sky jumping up against the fence to get her attention. Apparently Malene has been out with an eye infection, which explains why I haven’t seen her since Wednesday morning. But it was good to see her again. She said that she’d been cuddling with Mia in the rain yesterday. So I guess she spent time in the goat pen during the weekend. That’s very nice. She seems to get really happy when she talks to the goats. Someone asked how everyone was liking the goats, and she said they were a big success with everyone so far.
And it really seems like everyone loves them. And it feels like there’s more activity around them here. More excitement and care. Now part of it may be because they are new arrivals. May be the honeymoon period. But it just feels so much more lively and like the goats are a higher priority. Not that people at the old place didn’t care about the goats. Especially Ophelia and Anne I know did. But they were almost never there early in the morning and not often around the goat pen, at least when I was there. And the rest, almost never around the goats. There’s the morning feeder guy, but he just drops off food and water in the early morning and then disappears. Lars, well apart form the times he came to tell me bad news about discaring the goats… can’t remember really seeing him near the goat pen, apart from when he started working there and came over to introduce myself. At that time he did tell me that they all appreciated what I was doing so much. And now with what’s going on he is saying how sad it is to lose the goats because they attract so many people, and he does want to find homes for them and all. But yeah. Many if not most days I’d show up in the morning and I’d be there all alone with the goats until I left. Visitors coming from outside to see the goats, but staff almost never around. You could almost get the feeling that they don’t care so much about the goats and that’s why they want to get rid of them… now, I don’t think that’s true. I do think they care. But the feeling at the new place is just so much better. It feels like the goats matter and that I matter and matter every day not just once in a blue moon.
If they can keep true to their word about getting a shelter made in the big pen and some stuff for the goats to jump on, and fix the fences so I don’t have to lock up the goats when I leave to avoid Mia pole vaulting to follow me, whell if they keep true to that then… For MMS it seems like it could actually be a change for the better. And when i’m there I can have my happy space and feel good.
It’s just heartbreaking to not have SNL and to not know what will happen to them still. Sigh. Let’s hope with all our might that we can bring them back into our happy place.
Now I need food and maybe a nap. My life used to be sleeping ages and fun relaxing goat time. Now it’s like I have to do double shifts at the plant and if I don’t step up then things will blow up. Too much responsibility, too much people, too much traveling around. But I’m doing my best.
22/8 2022
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Chatting up the visitors
22/8 2022
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Our poor Nuller boy.
22/8 2022
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rip that tree next to the goat house
22/8 2022
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HappY Yogi daY everyone. Hope it’s a good one.
23/8 2022
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Good goat times today.
I decided that today I was just going to have a simple, uncomplicated good time with Mia, Milo and Sky. No advocating, no big important things. Just goat therapy. I feel like I needed that.
And it was good. Good to just hang out and goat around. Found a shady corner of the big pen and the goats went about de-greening that part. Jeanette was there again, and gave the goats some good cuddles when she brought them fresh water. And later again we talked with visiting kids about the goats. Cast skeptical glances at the feathery fowls and the lawnmower guys. Just a relaxing good time.
23/8 2022
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A nice shady corner on a nice sunny day, and lots of greens to trim.
23/8 2022
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Mia is keeping a close watch on the feathery fowls. Can’t be too careful with those things.
23/8 2022
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Sky is chatting up the visitors.’
23/8 2022
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Happy Hump Day everyone. I hope it will be a good one.
24/8 2022
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One from today’s exercise mix. Managed to get on my bike for the first time in 3 weeks. Good to be back in the swing of it. Just haven’t had the time and capacity for it with everything that’s been going on. I could certainly feel that it took a little extra effort after the break. But I don’t mind that. I really enjoy the physical exertion. Sweat pouring down the body, legs moving to the beat. Pushing yourself a little further. That physical pain is much nicer and uncomplicated compared to mental pain. There is no amount of stretching that will help when your feelings are hurting.
i was a little worried that the break from exercising and all the comfort food would have caused me to put on a bunch of weight, but thankfully that wasn’t the case. Still in the same zone I’ve been for a while. I could use to lose some more, but I’m not interested in putting in the effort required right now. I am happy to be lower than I was a year or two ago. Feeling more comfortable, that’s good.
24/8 2022
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I sure am happy we’re still together.
24/8 2022
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Can’t wait to hear all the good christians, full of compassion, cheering for the student loans being forgiven. What a great celebration of kindness and charity and many other good christian values. Make sure to put some bible verses on pictures of sunsets as you voice your approval!
24/8 2022
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Aww, the trio sitting together in the entrance of the goat house. It’s the first time I’ve seen them sit down to relax, their first week they stood at attention and stayed on guard. They were also a little wary of the goat. But it’s a good spot to sit, the only place off the ground, as goats like, and a good vantage point up on the hill to spot visitors arriving. Good to see them sit and relax together.
24/8 2022
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You know they are feeling more safe and comfortable when they start butting heads too. Sitting together, butting heads together, getting back to normal goat behaviour.
25/8 2022
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I hope today will be a goo day. Here’s Magnethe from 2005
25/8 2022
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Good goat times today. A beautiful, sunny day. And lovely fun with MMS. They were in good form. I got them to do some running in the big pen. Milo and Sky did their jump up and run thing, maybe some twirling even. Mia is a little more gravitationally challenged (as am I) but she still got some running in. And then Sky did laps. She ran into the small pen and up on the hil. Stood there. Then back down to us in the big pen. Then back up on the hill. Then back down to us. A few times. While I stood there and laughed. Lots of fun.
Got a “I can hear you’re coming” from Jeanette, as the goats hollered hello to me in the morning.
And sweet visitors at the fence again. Little hands reaching in to pet the goats.
I didn’t see Malene today, so I didn’t get any further with my inquiries about the newbs. But I’ll try to get it asked soon.
But today was a really good time at the new place. More and more I’m starting to think.. If I had to choose between bringing the newbs to join us at the new place or taking the olds back to the old place… I’m not sure what I’d choose. I think. I think if I had to choose a place to get them all 6 together again I .. I would choose the new place. It’s just… better. It wouldn’t be any easy choice, mostly because of all the memories connected to the old place. But the new place I think is just.. nicer for the goats. Once we get a few things added it will be even more so. And in general the care for the goats seems better, to be honset. I have an example of that to post later.
But yeah, if I could get SNL to join us at the new place it would overall be an upgrade for us all. I wish I wish I wish I wish.
25/8 2022
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Wheee.
sorry bout the low quality, but goats in motion
25/8 2022
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today Jeanette installed a mineral cube in the goat house. The goats didn’t appreciate the drilling, but once I got them back inside and lured them over to the brick.. well a lot of licking went down. Mia was going at it like crazy.
And, it occurs to me. I’m pretty sure there wasn’t any mineral block in the Goat House at the old place. They had one when they lived inside the stables. But when they moved out into the goat house, nothing. So they’ve gone without it for years. Not that I noticed any problems because of it, but still. i’m glad the new place is showing care for the goats. Maybe now the goats will stop licking my arms so much…
25/8 2022
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Have a good day everyone. Here is Bruce and Clark from 2014.
26/8 2022
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goatlog, from Wednesday last week. Second day at the new home.
26/8 2022
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Okay, who ordered the extra goofballs?
26/8 2022
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Here is some happy goat fun. Running up that hill. It was nice to be able to laugh again. Forget the worries, just for a little.
26/8 2022
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Happy Caturday everyone. I hope it’s a good one.
27/8 2022
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Relax
27/8 2022
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I feel.. weird. Bad. A little scared. I feel like I had a stroke or something. My brain is.. foggy. I don’t remember what I was doing. What I’m supposed to be doing. Like my routines are all.. gone. I had to check what day it is, try to remember what I usually do. I slept for.. a long time. But. My mind feels all wrong. I feel.. lost. It’s Sunday, I usually.. order food. This is very disconcerting. I can’t remember if I have any plans next week. I need to see the newbs. Ugh. I feel like I have brain damage or something. My memory has been getting worse, can’t help thinking of my dad and uncle and dementia and all that.
I feel like I need to relearn what I’m doing, like my mind is blanking. Urgh. I hope I just,, need to wake up. I slept for a long time. Like I usually do. I don’t really.. remember getting up today..
I feel kinda scared. I hope my head clears up. I guess I should order food, try to find my way back to my routines.
Fork I feel really weird.
28/8 2022
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Well, my food is here.
Thanks for the encouraging words.
I am not sure if I feel better. Still off, but maybe a little more myself. I’m just weirded out. When I got up today I felt ok I think . I must have. I don’t think anything was off. Then after doing my usual ‘morning’ (afternoon because sleep late) routine I went to take as hower. I like to sometimes take really long showers and sit down in the shower. I almost feel like I fell and hit my head in the shower, but I know I didn’t. Maybe I fell asleep in the shower.. I feel like when I was coming out of the shower the fog was there and I barely knew who I was or what I was going to do. Because of my handicaps and mental issues, I have a lot of routines I follow. I don’t cope well with change. There’s been a lot of change lately, maybe that’s part of it.. hmm.. well, anyway, I felt like I couldn’t remember my routines. Like I was lost in a fog and wasn’t myself. Like I have scripts set up on my pc so when I press a certain key something will happen. I had to sit and think, what do I do.. what do I press.. what are the things I do when I’m on the computer. I have goat footage to edit. I felt like I had to rediscover my self and routines.
Weird feeling.
I also kind of felt like.. I skipped some time waiting for my food. It took 50 minutes to get here. I feel like.. there’s a blank space from around 30 minutes to 50 minutes. But I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid now. You know how you start doubting yourself. Maybe it’s just because I spent all the time worrying maybe that’s why it suddenly felt like more time had passed without me realising it..
I don’t know. I’m just rambling now. Hopefully getting the food in me will help. I did in fact sleep for something like 22ish hours and then got up and didn’t eat right way, maybe my system just needs fuel.
I don’t know man, I’m feeling better but I do feel weird. Hopefully I won’t need any hospital visits.
Thanks all for listening and caring. It’s been a lot lately, i know. Soemtimes it feels like it’s much too much right now. But one day a day..
28/8 2022
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Happy Funday everyone.
I think I’m okay. Little woozy. But I’ve had something to eat and I’m probably ok. Been a weird day. Thank you everyone for the concern and comments. Let’s see how it goes. I’m going to just take it easy for the rest of the day.
28/8 2022
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How am I doing? Better. I think I’m okay. Maybe I’m still a little woozy, every now and then I have to stop and think a little extra about how to do something that I’m used to just doing without even thinking. But I think I’m ok. It’s been a weird day..
Had iced cream for dessert. I only wish I had more. I’m going to need to stock up on iced creams. Hope you’re all doing well out there. Thanks for all the concern and advice.
28/8 2022
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Head – Butt.
28/8 2022
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Blue, green, white. Wish summer would be longer, it’s going to start winding down now. Part of me wishes we did the goat move at beginning of summer, then MMS could have had 3 months in super green paradise. But then I would have lost out on 2½ months of time with the whole gang in the old pen. The perfect wish would have been getting all 6 of them moved here in May, but okay you can’t be that lucky. Most important now is a good outcome for SNL too. Hooves crossed.
28/8 2022
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That’s all for now.