House
Good goat times today. I needed that. It has been a struggle to keep the dark thoughts from taking over my mind. But sitting with the goats, all is right. At least for a while.
Lots of nice sunshine today, but also rainshowers. Danish summer has started off as Danish summer like to do.
But it was lovely when we could sit in the sunshine. We had some sweet kids visiting, petting hte goats. One little boy squatted down next to their water bucket and was staring into it likehe was mesmerised. Maybe it was his own reflection in the water that he was looking at? I don’t know. But his adult had to drag him away finally.
Jeanette and I both did work on the platform in the goat house. I’ll give more details on that later. I even did some sawing today! We have that old black spool down in the pen. A long time ago I inserted a christmas tree into. Well, I’ve been wanting to get that tree out of it. But I got it in there so good, the branches hooking it from the inside. Jeanette lent me a saw and I sawed the tree over so I could get it out. I don’t know when the last time i used a saw was. Woodshop eleventyeighty yearmonths ago? When I was in school in the 1670s. I don’t know, time seems to be a fluid going down the drain. But yeah, Nick Offerman has nothing on me.
Back home to the big things looming and more little niggles going wrong. I really just feel like I want to disappear. Anyone have David Copperfield’s number? Or whoever is the current famous magician that people know about.
I think i will start off my magic carreer by making a pot of soup disappear. Hey presto!
2/6 2025
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Breakfast in the sunshine, but with the clouds warning of things to come, down from them.
2/6 2025
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Here’s the platform work inside.
I am not sure the configuation of the pavement tiles are going to stay like this.
But maybe you can tell that the platform itself has been better secured.
Jeanette actually did that last week, but she had put the platform higher up. I talked to her and told her that I thought it was too high up, the goats weren’t so eager to get up on it. And it was a bit wobbly too. It was secured on the back end against the wall, but not the front.
Well today Jeanette took it down and then put it back up at this height. And put some poles underneath to further stabilize it. Now it is set on wedges nailed to the wall and has the poles to stop it wobbling. The goats used to all the time get the platform pushed on the floor when they scratched their bodies on it. Now it is secure and can’t be moved. So that’s good.
I would still like to get more pavement tiles so I can make proper steps up. I could get another pallet to put under it to make the steps higher up, but then I don’t have enough tiles to make a 4×4 tile platform as a step, like there is here. That’s good for sitting on it. If I put in the pallet then i can only make 2×2 steps and they can’t sit so well on that. But if I get more tiles I can build something better.
Well, for now this is what it’s like and we’ll see if I change it or not. But the wooden platform is now stable and secure and the goats can’t mess with it or push it out and fall off it and stuff. Much better.
I’m sorry I’m not good word explain concise brain work not well need more soup.
2/6 205
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I don’t know to which fetish this caters, but I just wanted to prove that I did a saw. I sawed. I am become saw, destroyer of chrstmas trees. My technique may need some work, but mark my words i’ll be building birdhouses soon. Or maybe a little red playhouse for sky.
2/6 2025
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Jeanette doing the manual labor, Luna supervising. It’s good to be goat.
2/6 2025
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Got an hour fiftyfive on the bike today. Good to switch off the mind and get away from reality.
And then afterwards I got back and face reality. Read through the paperwork I had received about my lease being terminated. Not too much new compared to the stuff I got in my digital mailbox. But some more information about the rehoming part. And that’s basically what I will have to get on with now. There’s contact info for the consultant and I will have to get in touch with her and apparently we’ll be having some talks and meetings.
I’m not going to rush it right now. Part of me really wants to wait until summer is over, if not until the very last minute. I have to be out April 1st, so March 32nd should be a fine time to start dealing with it, right?
Yeah yeah. I really want to put it off till after summer, but I know that would be stupid. But I’m going to take a week or two to remain calm and start putting together a list of my wants and needs. I need to have that done before I start meeting with the consultant.
They are obligated to give me 2 housing offers. That doesn’t seem like a lot to me. What if they are both crap? But I’ll have to worry about that when we get there. Maybe I’ll get great options. And because I’m being forcibly rehomed i will be put at the head of the queue for the new places, so that’s something at least.
At least i took the first of looking at it. I guess opening your eyes is a good way to start when facing reality.
The dark thoughts are really drowning me, threatening to overtake everything. I really just don’t want to deal with any of this.
But I’m trying. So here we are.
3/6 2025
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Maybe I should just say an official, Happy Pride Month. And to those who are against that sort of thing, you can go snorkling in a shark pond.
Just read that the King Of The Hill voice actor who was murdered was shot by a homophobic neighbour. Government using ressources to block rainbow colours on bridge lighting?
So much hate for the ones who love. The human capacity for awfulness is unlimited it seems, and being awful to people because of sex or gender or any of that stuff is just so fkn dumb. Imagine grown ass people being threatened by rainbow colours. Shameful.
Anyway. I could go on and on. But there’s no point in that. All my love and support for the trans and the gay and the queer and nonconforming and anyone who is persecuted because of things like that.
3/6 2025
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🎶 I hate this twisted logic, this sadistic hallelujah. Every single book I read always had the same ending. Right hand on the bible and the truth is still irrelevant. Don’t you know the bad guys always win? Don’t you know the bad guys always win? 🎵
3/6 2025
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Thank goodness for goats. Am I right, Sky? So much love for the ones who goat.
3/6 2025
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Literally the first frame of the video I just started editing. I don’t think this will make the final cut.
3/6 2025
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Whenever humans talk to me all i hear is
4/6 2025
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goatlog
4/6 2025
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Luna’s not falling for the old pull my finger gag.
4/6 2025
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Good goat times today. Keeping my head above ater. A nice sunny walk there. Then the rain started for a while. Later the sun came back. Good old Danish summer
It’s constitution day in Denmark. A holiday, so no school regulars visiting. But plenty of other visitors. A sweet family, I think it was a mother and a grandfather and two adorable little girls. Happily petting the goats. The grandfather asked me a little about what I was doing with the camera and stuff. “We’ll leave you in peace now” he said as they left. Haha yes my very important filming that must not be interrupted! But they were a sweet family.
Other kids too. And a lady who looked into the goat house and saw me and burst “Oh you’re a Twin Peaks fan!”. Because of my hat. She said she was a big Peaks fan too. it’s times like that i wish i was better at humaning so we could have had a nice long Twin Peaks discussion. But it was nice to just have a little bonding moment over it.
Got back home and did an hour on the bike. Bit of a struggle. Very tired legs. Not a good leg constitution. Thanks i’ll be here all night, don’t forget to tip your soup bowl on your way out.
5/6 2025
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Three goats relaxing.
5/6 2025
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More work was done in the goat house today.
We had a couple of pallets under the pavement tiles, just to give them more height. Well Jeanette went and plugged the spaces in the pallets so they could be safe for gots to walk on. You can see it there under the breakfast bowl. And then i built up the tiles as a step up to the main platform. That works okay I guess. I would still like more tiles to build with, but it sounds like it’s too hard on Jeanette to transport them from the store, so this may be it. But that’s okay. The goats seemed comfortable with it. Luna went up to sit there several times today, she seemed to like it. We’ll see if they use the lower pallet platform to sit on. A couple of times Bella was pawing it and seemed about to sit on it, but then people outside distracted her.
5/6 2025
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I am so tired. And I don’t just mean sleepy.
5/6 2025
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Think Lunar thoughts.
6/6 2025
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Snella Bella.
6/6 2025
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Got an hour fifty on the bike today. Had to drag myself on it. Had to drag myself out of bed even. The depression is very bad right now. Laying in bed last night i told myself well I’m just not going to get up tomorrow, I’ll sleep all day and then I’ll get up and get pizza or pie or both, because everything is horrible. Then i turned my alarm clock off and rolled over.
Well, I did manage to get out of bed at a fair time and i managed to get on the bike and i did the time. So that’s good i guess.
Afterwards i did some more apartment cleaning. Starting to venture into the section where I haven’t tourched stuff in a decade.
Yesterday, while preparing today’s flashback for the goat page, I saw a video from my apartment filmed 15 years ago, and those parts look just like they do now.
Boxes that i don’t know what contain. Plastic bags from supermarket chains that no longer exist.
But i started digging into it. Found a trove of letters and photos and paper stuff. Stuff that could be considered old treasure. Or old junk. I do feel bad about it, but I want to get rid of it all. It holds no purpose anymore. I don’t have the eyesight to sit and look at it. I don’t have the attachment. I don’t have the will to hang on to it. There was some crazy stuff in there. Video rental card, with photo, again from stores that no longer exist. I guess that goes without saying, video rental? Gather round children and I’ll tell you the story of a thing called VHS tapes, and how we used to procure them…
Paperwork from the hospital when I started all the horrible eye business. Because back then stuff was on paper.
Ancient postcards and handwritten letters. Newspaper cuttings from 25 years ago. Old airplane tickets?! Where did I go on an airplane? I don’t even remember, I didn’t want to get my magnifier to look through it.
Signed goodbye note from coworkers from when i worked at Kulturgyngen, none of you even know what any of that is about! There was even an old computer floppy disk, i have no idea what was on there. Floppies. Gone the way of VHS.
Lots and lots more stuff, and that’s only the first bag, more bags and boxes to go.
My heart aches a little letting it go. But I need to set myself free.
And with the forced move in my future, it will be nice to be rid of a lot that stuff. To make the move easier and to make it a real fresh start at the new place.
Also found another hard drive stashed away. Plugged it in. old backups from 2017. Stuff that was my whole life, that was essential. And now most of it is redundant. Makes you wonder what of the things we hold most dear right now weill end up in landfills, will be obsolete and forgotten in 20 years, if there are even humans still around. Maybe there will only be old empty buildings filled with boxes and bags. Remnants of a cilization that killed itself over the price of eggs and the meaning of their naughty bits. Or maybe everything will be in the cloud. Who knows.
Instead of sleeping all day and eating pie and pizza, I got up and exercised and cleaned and now I’m going to have soup. I guess that’s good.
7/6 2025
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Got my head in the clouds.
8/6 2025
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goatlog
8/6 2025
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Treating Sky.
8/6 2025
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I have started jotting down the initial thoughts of my requests for my rehousing. In preparation for making first contact with the consultant.
I don’t have that many needs or wants really. Mostly I just want something that’s as similar to what i have as possible.
All that’s really on the lsit so far is
Similar price
Similar size
Within walking distance of the playground
Accessibility without smart devices.
And that’s it. The last bit I don’t know if that’s even something you have to wonder about. I know there are newly built buildings where part of the access is via smartphone or other such devices. Like you unlock the door with your phone. I would think that you should still be able to access the building with your normal key, but honestly in this day and age I don’t know if there are buildings being made where you don’t have real keys anymore, where you can only get in with your smart device. But then what do you do if your device is lost or out of power or if the system is down or… I don’t know. Maybe it’s just an alternative option along with your regular key. I just thought i’d put it on the list, also as a way to broach the subject that I have special needs.
Does anyone have other ideas for things that might be useful to put on that list? I know you don’t necessarily know everything about me and my situation, but if you have thoughts they’d be welomed, better to think of things and not need them than not think of things and end up needing them.
I thought about a ground floor apartment being best, I think I would prefer that. But on the other hand I wouldn’t want that to be a demand standing in the way of me getting a good place. I’m sure I could adjust to living on a higher floor, especially if there’s an elevator in the building. The thought of having people above AND below me is kind of weird (Except for that one party at Elton John’s house) but I suppose you’d adjust. In some ways it might be nice to not live on the ground floor. Being center apartment ground floor means EVERYONE coming and going has to go past my door, even if they’re just going to the lift.
Well let me know if you have thoughts, and in any case thanks all for the support. I am struggling a lot mentally right now, but trying to carry on as best as possible.
8/6 2025
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Heading to bed soon. Thank you everyone for the comments on the apartment list post. And thank you everyone in general. Soups on me. But I’ll get out of these clothes and into some jammies, so it’s okay.
See you in the clouds, with my head in the sand.
8/6 2025
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That’s all for now.