Offerings
Okay.
I am in complete panic mode. Terrified and gutpunched.
I have been offered a new apartment.
From October 15th.
I have to answer by Thursday.
I am number one on the list, if I say yes, I will get it.
I am not ready. I am scared. I am drowning. I am in way over my head. I don’t know how to do this.
Breathebreathebreathe.
It’s too soon. I don’t really want it this soon. I wanted to wait till March.
But I don’t really have a choice. The housing association is obligated to give me two offers. If I decline this offer then I would have no choice but to accept the next offer.
And that original plan for March, that only has about a week’s timeframe for the move, and if renovations go over schedule it could be a huge problem if the new place isn’t ready by the time I have to be out of the old.
And and and.
This offer is on the 4th floor. I really don’t like that. I would prefer ground floor.
But. I can’t refuse it. I have to take it. I don’t know what the alternative could end up being.
I’m just really really really. Scared. Of everything. I am not a capable adult, how am I going to handle this. It’s to the point where I wish I was dead so I didn’t have to deal with this.
I know, that’s not really constructive. Slightly less constructive than digging a hole and getting in the hole and filling the hole with sand and hoping no one will notice me.
Argh.
I am not sure exactly where the apartment is, but it must be two blocks over. There’s the building I’m in. And then there’s the one next to mine which is having all the renovations done now. And I think the new apartment is in the next building. So basically the same area. I think it’s 2 square feet smaller. But I think it must be basically the same kind of apartment.
I have to call the current tenant and see if I can come have a look. But I’d have to do that before Thursday.
fk fk fkfkfkfkf
I would have three weeks I guess. To do the move. I just.. don’t know how to do anything. I have never moved, other than when i moved away from home. Twenty years ago.
And then they’re going to evaluate my current apartment to see if it is fit to be rented out temporarily when it’s empty. The condition of my apartment is really bad. I am really worried about getting a huge bill for negligence and stuff.
And what about drapes. And the lamps. And the internet. And all my stuff. All my idiosyncrasies that I depend on to cope with things.
The housing association is going to arrange the moving company. I really hope they can take some of my furniture away, I need to get rid of at least two bookshelves and the fkn treadmill I have standing that I stupidly bought and broke and it’s too heavy for one person to move. Will a moving company take stuff to goodwill or whatever?
And and and and
And now I have 30 minutes less to deal with it than before I started typing this. Time is ticking and I’m chasing white rabbits.
fk fk fk
I knew I had to deal with this eventually but I really had hoped I.. wouldn’t. Come on heart attack go go!
sht
I mean, I guess i will just have to jump into the river and sink or swim. See where the current takes me.
I just really wish I had some of those plastic arm floaties. Maybe a rubber duck and an inflatable tube.
So much for getting back to healthy living and stuff, the next three weeks are going to be focused on one thing only.
Gosh darnit. I am terrified and I just want it to go away.
How do you people do adult living? It seems too much to ask of a person, nobody told me there would be consequences and responsibilities.
Sorry panicmouth won’t stop gabbering. i’m going to be real fun to be around now.
Maybe a monh from now everything will be great and solved.
Maybe it won’t. Try and guess what my fatalistic mind is being drawn to like magnets to Bender’s shiny metal ass.
Alright. Alright. I guess I should get my soup cooking. I need to call the current tenant tonight and see if it’s possible to make an arrangement one of the next days. It’s not like I can say no to the offer and the apartment should basically be the same as my current one, just renovated. But it would be nice to have a quick look inside, before I have to reply to the offer.
This rambling post instead of the happy goat post I was getting ready to compose before I checked my email. Rookie mistake. Never check your email. THATS HOW THEY GET TO YOU.
There is too much reality, I wish it came in smaller slices.
22/9 2025
—
.
Thank you everyone so much for all the comments. The support and advice. i really truly deeply appreciate it.
I’m not going to lie, i’m not in a good space right now. Mentally. Maybe I’ll be in a better space physically soon! Haha. One can hope.
I am just in total constant panic mode right now. And that’s probably not going to change for the next 3+ weeks. It’s going to be difficult.
But I took the first step. I called the current tenant. She seemed very nice. We set up a time tomorrow for me to see the apartment. I was a little surprised, she said she was coming from [another geographic location]. So, I guess she has already moved out? Or maybe I misunderstood her, maybe that location is where she works. She was at work when I called just now, and we had to schedule the meeting to fit with her work schedule.
Anyway, doesn’t matter I guess. It would be nice if I could see the apartment empty. I don’t really know how all this stuff works. I’m just glad I got the courage worked up to actually call. I even wrote a little script for myself, which I barely followed.
But first step went well. So I should get to see the place tomorrow. And unless something goes very wrong, I will have to accept it anyway. Thursday by the latest. And then.. Well I guess I’ll have to start preparations for the move. I will need to get more details about exactly when and how it will be done. Meanwhile I will carry on the work i had begun to get rid of as much stuff as possible. That mission has been on hold for a few months because well things started falling apart. But now I gotta get that finished quick.
Basically throw out as much stuff as possible. I need to get down and empty my storage room in the basement, I haven’t been down there for years.
And my understanding is I’ll get moving boxes from the moving company or the housing association. And then I will have to start boxing everything up.
I will do some reading up about advice for moving. I know there is a section about that on the housing assoc’s website.
Maybe if i sit completely still then time will stop to a halt and nothing will happen. I can just sit here like a statue for the next hundred years while the world blurs around me. Maybe?
Probably not.
I am scared shtless about the move. Aout the logistics. You don’t know the half of how settled in my ways I am. Having everything uprooted and having to resettle, it’s a nightmare. Even if I were normally abled of body and mind. And I’m far from that.
Alrgiht well. I guess I deserve a pat on my own back for getting the meeting set up. It went easier than I had feared. Hopefully the meeting itself will go well. Mostly it will just be an excuse to find the exact location of the new place. I assume the apartment is basically the same as my current one, just renovated. I shouldn’t need more than a glimpse in there. If it’s empty maybe it would be okay to film inside? I might like to have that to look at in preparation.
The woman on the phone said that she had one other person coming to look at it. So I’m not the only one interested. But since I’m number 1 on the list that shouldn’t matter.
Right right. One day a day, I don’t have any other choice. Shts gonna hit the fan whether I’m facing it or not. Wait, maybe facing the sht on the fan isn’t the best metaphor. Oh whatever. I can’t stop it, so I have to do my best.
I don’t like the idea of having people above and below me. But there are so fe ground floow 1 room apartments available, since half or more of them are getting done away with entirely now too, so I can’t hold out and hope for one of those to come along. I would rather wait for the March one, but there are pitfalls with that option. I have to take this one. The timeframe for this one is a lot better than the one in March would be. I just wish.. the timeframe was at a later time. But this gives me better time to deal with it. And maybe that will help, since there’s no way to avoid dealing with it completely.
Okay. i’m going to have ice cream now because I’m a big boy and I can do what i want.
Again, thank you all so much for the comments. You have no idea how much it means to me that there are people listening and caring and supporting. Sorry I’m not replying to every comment in great length. Right now I am literally physically shaking and I have been for about 4-5 hours. Periodically I lean over and just grab my bald head and sort of shake back and forth and moan giberish about being doomed, and that’s not an exaggeration. There has been hard things happening the past few months, and this is the hardest yet.
But yes, I truly appreciate your support and advice. Keep it coming if you have any! I’m going to have iced creams and then I’m going to try to sleep and then tomorrow will be the first step on the rest of the journey. Tomorrow won’t be easy, but it will be trivial compared to what’s up next.
Like I overdramatically posted on bluesky, either my life is over or it’s about to begin. Welp. Thanks for helping me.
22/9 2025
—
.
Well, I had a day.
I went and looked at not one but two apartments today. Literally 5 minute notice.
Yeah it’s been a day. I don’t know if I can say it’s been good. It’s been extremely challenging. But it’s good that I faced it. The outcome? I can’t say good. But. Better than feared?
I am still in panic mode and terrified and overwhelmed. But I suppose I am feeling a little better about it than yesterday. Slightly. Still not sure how I’m going to get through all this.
Okay. THE TLDR I went and looked at two apartments, met two really nice people and also randomly bumpes into Helle. I am thinking I am going to accept the second apartment, which will be available from November 1st.
That’s the very short version. Now put on a keg of coffee and let me tell you the long one. It helps me to write it all out and it’s nice to have a record of it all.
So. I had set up the meeting for the first apartment for today at 2pm. I had figured I’d spend the day before that getting back to the cleaning and getting rid of junk mission. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I sat around and felt terrified and anxious. Ate protein bars and bananas and watched youtube videos.
Alriht, that’s fine. I decided to go out at 1 pm. A little ridiculous since it would basically b a 5 minute walk. But I just wasn’t sure how easy it would be for me to find the place. I figured I knew the general locaton of the building, but you know I worry. So I gave myself an hour to find the place and maybe do some scouting.
That turned out not to be the worst idea, because I did have a hard time finding it. The numbers on the building were really hard for me to see. They were big. But if you have a limited field of (extremely bad) vision then big isn’t always great. Big black numbers on dark glass with a dark apartment entranceway inside, that’s not great. I thought I was at the wrong building. It took me 10 minutes to find out that I had been at the right one. Lots of walking around. Got my steps in.
When I did locate the right entrance, i had about 30 minutes to spare. So I went around and did some more recon of the area. And sat down and waited for a bit. When there was 10 minutes to go, I went back to the entrance. And that’s when the trouble really began. The renovated buildings have locked doors and a door phone. What’s it called? A buzzer? My building you can just walk in and out. The new ones you can’t. And the door phone was impossible for me to use. I had figured that might be a problem, so I brought my fancy looking glass. I still could not read the screen. It wasn’t one where you press a button for a corresponding apartment. There was a numpad, but i ‘m not even sure how it works. How you’d buzz a specific apartment. I don’t know man. I was literally leaning over it with a looking glass like i was Sherlock looking for fingerprints. Then a voice from behind me. “Do you need some help?”. I said yes, I could really use some help. I’m going up to see an apartment but i can’t work this thing. A nice young woman, she said “oh well that’s me you’re coming to see”. Haha. Good timing.
So she let me in. She had her bike with her, and she had to put that down in the basement. So she showed me the basement first. And then up to the apartment. She was very nice, and i was of course trying to appear as if I were a normal human. I tried! So, I was right in my assumption that she had already moved out. The apartment was all empty. Echoing footsteps on wooden floors. My first impression was that it was small. Smaller than i had expected. My current apartment is 41 squaremeters. This one was 39. I thought that wouldn’t make much of a difference, but I guess my comprehension of squaremeters is borked or maybe it was just the general design of things that made it feel even smaller. But I did think that it felt considerably smaller than my current one.
So my general impression was that it felt too small, but that I could probably live with that. It would foce me into even more of a minimal footprint, really need to shed everything I don’t need.
The worst part was that the accessibility just felt worse. From the door phone to the whole area, more stairs and windy pathways, the hallways felt more cramped and dark. The mailboxes were basically impossible to read. I don’t know why when you renovate and modernise things, you don’t focus more on makimg it more accessible. My current building feels more open and easier to deal with. Kind of ironic since part of the renovation is that they’re getting rid of the middle ground floor apartments to open up more space. Doesn’t feel like they have managed it very well. But what do I know.
Anyway. The lady was very nice and it seemed fairly okay. I wasn’t happy with it, but I felt like it would be something I could live with. Luckily you don’t have to use the door phone when you’re the one living there, you get a little chip thing that you put to the buzzer and the door unlocks. Hopefully the door phone won’t be too complicated when getting deliveries.. I think you have to give out a code for people. I hope there’s good information material when you move in..
So, I was walking the five minute walk home, and a car stopped next to me. A lady greeted me. And said “it’s Helle”. Ooh! Faceblindness, and blindness in general, makesfor awkward social situation. But Helle is super nice. You may remember she helped me back at the first meetings, came and met me at the goat place. I actually messaged her yesterday to ask if she had any advice. Funny bumping into her by chance on my way home. We had a nice little chat that helped me sort some stuff in my head about the apartment too. So that was nice. It’s good to know someone in the local area, and Helle is very active in all the neighbourhood stuff. Glad I got to know her.
So. I thought that was going to be my day. And that i would have to accept that apartment despite having misgivings about it, and general super panix and anxiety.
I got home and took a shower and settled down. Sitting down at the computer, getting ready to write a million words on facebook. Then I checked my email. And there was a new offer for a different apartment. Whaaa. I was a little taken aback. I had gotten the impression at the first meeting that it wouldn’t be too likely taht I would get anything offered until March when the renovation of the neighbour block finished. Now here was another one.
Reading the email the first thing that struck me was that this one was 41 squaremeters like my own. And it was in the block next door. Literally. Some of you have seen the ‘golden port’, part of the building that was knocked down to route a road through it. Well, this second apartment is in the golden port building. It is literally next door. I live in number 50, this is number 46. Number 48 is the end of this building i’m in now, number 46 is the first part of the next building. Thirty seconds away.
So that was all very interesting. But now I had to deal with that. I thought I had dealt with everything for today and gotten through. Now more stuff to deal with. Uck. And all my avoidant instincts screaming to just ignore.
But I had to act on it. The deadline for answering the first offer is Thursday. So I figured I really needed to see the second apartment before that if I could. On paper it seemed like a better choice, but what if I took it and it was worse?
So. As much as the panic was rising, I forced myself to call the contact number of the current tenant. No one answered. It didn’t even go to voicemail. So now I didn’t know what to do. Send a text message? I am on an old dumb phone, writing text messages is really difficult and time consuming. I was weighing my options, thought I’d try again a little later. Thankfully after about 10 minutes the phone rang. And it was the guy calling back. So I asked if we could set a meeting. I suggested tomorrow and he said we could do that, he had some work and other stuff. But around 4 pm he could fit me in. After my experience at the first place I told him that because I was extremely visually impaired I would have problems with the door phone and I asked if it would be okay if I just called him on the phone when I was at the door. He said sure. And then he asked if maybe I could just come over right now. I asked if I could come in an hour’s time, but he said now he had to go but if i could come right now then we could do it. Alright. So suddenly I had to get up and put pants on again, man I hate when I have to wear pants so much! I told him that I was basically next door. He asked if it would help me if he came out to meet me halfway. Very kind of him. So i went out, didn’t see him there so i started walking over to that building. Literally 15 seconds away. And he came out of the door and greeted me. Let me in and took me up in the elevator.
Now this guy. He was really cool. I was so worried about meeting one new person today, I didn’t think I’d have to meet two. And both times I was terrified they’d be horrible and unfriendly or put-upon by me even being there. But they were both really nice. And this guy especially. He was so talkative. Almost to the point of it being comical. He told me a lot of stuff. About the apartment and neighbours, but also about himself. He told me some deeply personal stuff. Obviously I’m not going to share that here, but it was like truly personal stuff about health and relationship, why he’s moving, some very serious stuff he’d been through. At one point he started talking about the church and how it had helped me, and it was like two steps away from being a scene from a sitcome where a guy is trying to talk you into going to church group with him. He did stop short of that, although I did get the impression that he thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea if i wanted to join some church meetings or stuff, even if i’m not religious, but just for the community aspect.
But he was really cool and it helped me that he talked so much, because oviously I don’t.
And he was so helpful. Several times he literally took my hand and guided it to feel things, because I couldn’t see. He told me about the door phone, he showed me how the chip thing works to unlock it, let me try it myself.
He showed me how the drapes worked. They’re like fancy blinders built into the thermal windows, I wasn’t expecting that. I asked him if he was planning to take his drapes with him, because getting drapes up is something i worry about. But he said no, they’re built in.
And he showed me the oven. There’s an actual oven. I don’t have an oven in my apartmnet. I mean I bought a small electrical one, haven’t used that in many years. But this place has an actual oven as part of the deal. I didn’t think any of the one room apartment had that.
And the size of the place felt like pretty much the same as mine.
The only realy downside to this one, compared to the other one, is that it’s on the 6th floor. So two floors higher up than the other. But I guess I can learn to use the elevator. I am not sure how accessible it is, both places it was the other person who did the elevator button pushing. Not sure how well I can see those buttons. But I’m sure I can learn that. I walked down the 6 floors of stairs when I left, that was fine. Not sure how hard walking UP the stairs would be. But maybe it’ll be good exercise.
Anyway yeah. He was so helpful and so open and sharing. And he basically told me that i should take this one. He wasn’t leaving because he didn’t like it, there were other personal reasons for that. But he really liked the apartment, the place, the neighbours, everything. I asked him if there was a bother what with a road going literally through the bulding, but he said that wasn’t felt at all.
This apartment is no the left side of the golden portal.
Well I guess that’s about the whole story. It’s been a tough day, but I’m happy I faced it. Happy I got both things done. Happy it went as well as it did. The whole moving thing is going to be extremely difficult, but this part went as well as I could have hoped.
I think I’ll have to accept the second apartment. It’s bigger, it’s right next door literally which means no change in area. The first apartment was actually a little closer to the goats, but again only like 5 minutes. And that area feels harder to find my way around. The second apartment would mean literally not change in travel time, finding my way. Anything. Basically just moving next door.
The door phone would be the same problem in both places. And 6th floor or 4th floor won’t make a huge difference, since I can’t have a ground floor apartment anymore.
So that’s where I guess I’m going.
I have to reply to the second offer on Monday by tle latest. And it’s available November 1st. So that also gives me two extra weeks compared to the first apartment. Maybe that’s just more time to worry, but my avoidant self likes to push things away as much as possible.
Sheesh what a day. Need to eat something now. Iced cream for dessert. And then I think I’m going to sleep in very late tomorrow. I’m just going to stay in bed and pretend there’s nothing to worry about. Before facing the future.
Thank you again so much everyone for all the support. This is a really difficult, you don’t even know the full scope of all the thing I deal with.. but I’m just trying to compartmentalize. Sink or swim. Try to keep swimming. One day a day, and this was a big one. I guess I’ll take a couple of days before accepting the secnod apartment. And then it’s on to the next compartment.
23/9 2025
—
.
Bad news.
I mentioned yesterday that the email with the offer of the 2nd apartment didn’t include the pdf with extra info, right?
Well, i got that pdf now. And it states that because of the renovation plans for the neighbourhood, this offer is a limited time one. Meaning, this apartment will need to be renovated in the future.
So. that’s why this one was bigger than the first one. It’s because it hasn’t been through the renovation process yet.
It means I would have to move again in the future. It means that apartment will also be made into a smaller one.
It means I’m kinda fked. The idea of moving is so traumatic that I can’t really accept an apartment where I would have to move again in the near future.
It really sucks. I liked the seconed apartment so much more. Even if you take away the space part, the location is a lot better for me.
But I guess I’m back to square one. I will have to accept the first apartment, despite my misgivings about it.
It’s not like the downsides to that one are huge. It is still the same basic area. I will get used to the change of location. The smaller space is inevitable, all the one room apartments will be like that when renovated.
I wonder if the first apartment has those internal drapes in the thermal windows, I really loved those. I wish I had known to check for that when I saw the first one.
Sigh. I have sent email to the housing association asking for confirmation that taking the 2nd apartment would mean moving in the future. I wonder what the time frame is. All the plans for the renovations I have seen have not included renovations of that building. And those plans go forward to like 2028,29. Maybe if i could have like 5 years in that 2nd apartment and then a temporary rehoming while it’s renovated and then back to stay for good. Could I survive that?
i would rather have one move and be done with.
Ugh.
I think I will have to accept the first offer. And that would be back to October 15th as teh move date. Less time, more worry, need to get rid of more stuff. Panic panic panic.
I’m going to take today off with pizza and ice cream and soccerballs on the telly. And then I guess I have to get to work.
Waiting to hear from the housing association first. But i can’t see any other outcome, have to take the first offer and make my peace with that.
24/9 2025
—
.
Good news! Oh lord. What a time I’m having.
So. To recap. The pdf said that the 2nd offer was not renovated. I couldn’t understand that, because I thought that building was done with renovations. So, I contacted the hosuing association over email to ask. But I also messaged Helle here on Facebook. And I have to say such a huge thank you to Helle, I am so glad I originally got in touch with her, she has been such a great help and support.
She told me that she was sure that building was renovated. And she got in touch with Hanne, the rehousing consultant, and five minutes later Sarah from the housing association called me and she apologised that the pdf had had the wrong information.
The 2nd offer is renovated. It would be a permanent apartment for me.
So. Back on a, fairly, better track for me. I am going to take today to think things through. But now it seems that I’m back to my thoughts yesterday. I am going to accept the 2nd offer. The one rightn ext door. The one on the 6th floor with the magic drapes. The one that i can have from November 1st, giving me those extra couple of weeks.
Sheesh. What a rollecoaster ride. it’s been difficult days, and there are difficult days ahead. But at least these are better news.
Thank you again to Helle, and to all of you here for your support. My mind is ground to the bone, but I’m hanging in there.
24/9 2025
—
.
The day is almost over. And what a day it has been. What a two days. Honestly, must be the strangest set of days I’ve had in my life. Would have to go back to they eye destruction days to find a couple of days weirder.
First yesterday that was already looking challening enough with one apartment visitation and then suddenly with no warning a second one. That was a lot.
And then today, when it seemed like my best laid plans were torn apart. And then they were put back together again. What a rollercoaster w-hiplash.
But here I am. Unless there’s a shocking last minute development then I will tomorrow be calling the housing association and accepting the second offer. The apartment next doorish.
And all things considered, that’s pretty much the best possible outcome. Since there won’t be any ground floor one room apartments. I would always have to get on a higher loor. And getting to move to the building right next to my current one means as little change as possible.
There will still be a lot of noise from the buildings being renovated. Might even be worse, since it’s just next door. But hopefully there will be less noise from neighbours. And the sound and temperature proofing generally better.
But yes, I can’t imagine a better outcome. I didn’t think I’d get any offers at all. The potential one in March, that apartment would be finished just a week before I’d have to move in. Any little slip of the schedule and I could have had no place to go. And I’d have to live in that apartmentw hile the rest of the building was still being renovated. The only thing I would have preferred about that option is the longer wait until having to go through with it. But that’s just my avoidant self wanting to postpone the inevitable.
Trying to compartmentalize, and this compartment seems to have gone as awell as it could. I am not really able to think positively about myself, but I think i handled these two days as best i could. Almost like a regular adult human person would. I was pro-actived, faced it head-on, asked for help when needed, didn’t avoid the hard things. And hopefully have succeeded in this part.
It’s the coming parts that will be the worst. And scares me the most. The actual move. And the condition of my current apartment and the possible consequences thereof. I wish i could fastforward through it all. But the river of time flows at its own pace. And I just have to ride the waves.
So that was today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a lot calmer. Calling the housing assoc will not be easy, but nothing as bad as these two days.
And maybe I can then take the rest of the week off and just.. try not to think about things. And then. I would have five weeks. Just about.
I think they have to do some preparation work on the apartment before I can move in, so I probably wno’t be able to move in on November 1st exactly. May be some days after. And I have no clue how the moving itself works. Will I have access to both apartments? Do we take things out of this place and right into the new place? Does it go into storage first? I mean, I need a bed in at least one place all the time, don’t I? What aout my computer? I don’t have internet on a phone or tablet. Will I be cut off? I stress about these things.
I was talking to Helle and she mentioned something about a moving company that were more sensitive to people with special needs, I think. I am not sure if we can get that sorted out, since the housing assoc is going to pay for and arrange the move. I don’t know if we can use our own people and get the assoc to pay for it or what. When will I get boxes and start to put things in them? I still want to get rid of a bunch of stuff. And what about my book shelves I don’t want and the broken running machine. I think I want to get rid of my clothing drawers too, i just want to keep my clothes in a plastic storage box. Maybe sound crazy, but I just want as little furniture as possible. I just want the esential pieces of furniture and everything else in storage boxes. That’s my plan.
Okay, sorry this wasn’t supposed to be another long entry. I need to stop stressing now. I hope I can take the rest of the week off. Maybe give you guys a break from ramblings posts. Thank you all again so much for the support. I am truly thankful to have all the input and advice and encouragement. Thank you.
And goodnight.
24/9 2025
—
.
Okay. It done.
I have officially accepted the 2nd offer. The apartment next building over. The 6th floor one with magic drapes and an oven.
From November 1st. But they are going to do a couple of weeks of repair and prep work on it.
So I should be moving in on the 14th or 17th, Friday or Monday.
I talked to Sarah from the housing association again on the phone. She assured me I’d have access to both apartments for a couple of weeks or so, but wouldn’t have double rent. So that’s good, I was a little worried about having to be completely out one place and completely in the other place on the same day. But now I should have some time.
Still have to figre out the exact details of moving. I mentioned the moving company that Helle had talked about, sounds like it would be fine to use our own moving company and have that paid for. But I’m not sure how we’ll co-ordinate all that. We’ll see. First of i should be getting the new lease contract on mail.
I am continually terrified and trying to fight off the panic. But another step taken. I suppose that’s good.
i just hope it will all go okay. I ti will be hard, even if it goes flawlessly. With all my issues. It’s going to be terribly hard. But that’s okay, if it just works okay. If it gets done and it works. Then I can get through the hard.
I hope. Catch me 10 minutes from now when I’m screaming into the abyss that I CANT DO THIS.
Lalala. Thank you all again. I’ma have soup and iced cream today I think. Once the move is complete and things are hopefully settled, I’m going to have to get back to a health journey. Because right now i’m basically just floundering. Have barely exercised in more than a month. Not sure how much I will be up for doing it the next couple of months. At least I’m getting steps in running everywhere, and all the cold sweats must burn some calories..
Alright. I hope i can relax for the rest of the week. And the good thing is that I have a fair bit of time to deal with everything. The 1st offer would have brought more time pressure. I’m glad I was able to get the 2nd one.
Phew.
I hope.
it’ll be ok
25/9 2025
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Oh, and in much less significant news, apparently Denmark is under attack by Russian drones.
So that’s fun.
I will admit, I am not sure what exactly this all means. I’m sure there’s not a Russian army marching towards our borders. But it is all a little crazy. Maybe I’ll need to find myself a cozy little bunker instead of an apartment.
So when people ask why i care about American politics. It’s because countries aren’t isolated islands, what happens one place affects other places. Especially when we’re talking about global superpowers.
But hey, what me worry?
Maybe I’ll be sitting on my tiny balcony on the 6th floor and shooting down drones with an airgun. Yehaa.
25/9 2025
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The golden gate is calling.
I asked the current tenant if having a road going literally straight through the building caused any problems, noise-wise. But he said none at all.
25/9 2025
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Can I just get some peace?
Sheesh.
Got up this morning and my toilet isn’t flushing again. Great.
Had to call the housing association.
Wasn’t as worried this time, since well I just did it last week.
They sent the guy over. it was 10.30 am and their guy goes home at noon. So he came right over. Last time he did some minor thing. This time he wanted to change the. .whole thing. Sorry, my knowledge of what things in a toilet are called is non existant.
Unfortunately there was some swith or whatever that was basically all crumbled, he wouldn’t be able to turn the water off before changing the thing, and that would be bad. So he had to call an actual plumber.
And that’s where i am now. 11:17 and waiting for the plumber. Since it’s the weekend and i only have the one toilet, he told them to come today. But couldn’t give me a more specific time. So now I get to wait and worry about that. But hopefully they will be able to completely fix it.
The housing assoc guy was very nice and friendly. Hopefully the plumber will be too.
in other news, I didn’t sleep too well last night. Woke up after a couple of hours and couldn’t fall asleep again, thoughts tossing and turning and worries.
I need a vacation.
I also got in touch with the housing assoc over email last night. It occured to me that if they send the lease contract over email then I wasn’t sure how that would be signed. I was worried I’d have to print it and sign it, and since I don’t have a printer that could be a problem, especially if it was something that had to be done fast. So emailed and asked about that before i went to bed.
And when i got up there was a reply explaining how I’ll be signing it digitally. So that should be okay.
And now my relaxing day is going to be a “wait for the plumber and hope that goes ok” day. Hooray.
Maybe i should check the news for drones.
26/9 2025
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Things you don’t want to hear the plumber saying while he’s in your bathroom working.
“God damnit”
“fuck”
“shit”
“I don’t dare touch that”
Haha. I don’t know if this was a particularly tough job or if that was just his general way of coping with the work. He was very nice to me, and it should be all fixed. It was something about the.. valve? Something that you should normally able to turn by hand but he had to literally cut through it to replace it. Calcified or rusted or something. It’s a twenty year old toilet, so I guess it just was .. set in its ways. I wonder what that’s like.
Anyway, it took about 30 minutes to fix i think, after a few hours of waiting. And all my usual worries and avoidant mind screaming that it wants it all to go away.
Hopefully it’s all sorted now. Maybe I can have a nice quiet weekend without thinking about anything. Maybe nothing will go wrong now.
Looks like I picked the wrong year to stop sniffing glue.
Anyway, i’ma go use the bathroom cos I can. i’ll spare you the live feed.
26/9 2025
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Here is some goat content, thank you for your patience.
Luna’s puppydog pose on the ramp, while Bella managed to sit up to without sliding down.
26/9 2025
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Another day draws to an end. Another day that did not go as I thought it would. Another day that brought unexpected challenges. But another day faced and conquered, more or less.
Not that today was that bad. But I just can’t relax when i know there are people coming to my place. Especially if i don’t have an exact time. If i know someone is coming later, I can’t just relax and have a normal day. I am in panic mode until it’s done.
But hey, now it’s done. And my toilet flushes. And maybe noting unexpected will happen tomorrow.
Stranger things have danced ballet in a clown costume.
26/9 2025
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It’s past noon and nothing unexpected has happened yet. How peculiar. I wonder if the abominable snowman is standing outside my windows smelling carrots.
I did get a Pepsi & Protein delivery today. Added some iced creams, just to have them in stock. They don’t have my mango flavour anymore, though. I wonder if that was like a limited summer flavour? That’s a bummer. It was my favourite. No more mango b&j’s for me I guess. I wish we had more flavours, I get jealous when I hear about all the different flavours you have around the world.
Anyhoo. Just going to try to unwind today.
Need to edit goat footage too, way behind on that. What a week it’s been.
27/9 2025
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My apologies to the premium subscribers, I know the content has been subpar lately. Here is a blooper for the reel.
27/9 2025
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Another day is almost done. Mostly benign today. Some minor hotmail niggles, but nothing compared to what has been going on the previous days.
I was going to write some stuff about the move and the plans and the new place, but I’m tired now. So I guess I will give you all a break!
Thank you all for giving me a slice of your time. Like a slice of pizza, I hope it is warm and gooey and tasty and wait wait stop, don’t think about pizza now.
Maybe tomorrow.
27/9 2025
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goatlog
28/9 2025
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Do you know how easy it would be to get melted cheese if I had an oven?
Something to think about.
28/9 2025
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Here’s a question for you all.
Do you think it would be better to move into a new apartment on a Friday or a Monday?
I will have access to both places for a period, so maybe it doesn’t even matter that much.
My thoughts are though, that Monday would be best. Then you have the week ahead of you and everything is open. If i move in Friday and there’s some problem that isn’t an emergency, I wouldn’t be able to get ahold of the housing association during the weekend. Things may be closed.
Does that make sense? Or is there some reason a Friday might be better?
Let me know if you have any thoughts. Preferably about this issue, but I mean you can share if you have other thoughts too, like what if smurfs were green instead of blue, how would that affect the continuity of their universe? Smurf if i know.
28/9 2025
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Bella and a smurf sky
28/9 2025
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The week is winding down.
And what a crazy week. Weirdest week in my life in many a year.
First off, thank you to everyone for the replies on which day would be best to move in. Seems like pretty much everyone agrees with my reasoning about Monday, so that’s probably what I’ll be going for.
But this week. Man.
I couldn’t anticipate any of this as I came home from the goats last Monday. But then the first apartment offer came in. And I had to arrange to see it on Tuesday. And then when I came home from that showing on Tuesday, the offer for the second apartment came in. And then I literally had to run straight back out to go look at that.
And then the information that it would not be a permanent apartment. And then the correction that it would in fact be permanent. And then to fop it all off the toilet broke again and i had to wait for first the super and then the plumber.
Sheesh. And that’s just the short version. You have probably all skimmed through the longer versions already!
Hopefully next week will be a lot calmer. One of the upsides of the 2nd apartment is the two extra weeks. I’m not in a big hurry now. Just need to go through this place and gather up the last stuff to get rid off. And then look at the storage room in the basement and clear that out.
And after that it’s just the actual move. Getting it arranged and packing things down, but i don’t have that much to pack. I’m glad I’m not in that much of a hurry.
Seven weeks from tomorrow. Is moving day. As it looks now.
Phew. What a smurfing week. I feel like I’m blue in the face. But so far I guess I’m coping. Thank you all for having my back. And other parts.
Time to sleep.
28/9 2025
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.
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That’s all for now.