Chocolate
Good goat times today. Lovely day with the girls. A cool day, some scattered raindrops. But more sunshine. And just good goating around. Now that I can lock the gate between the pens it’s easier for me to get some time with Sky. Lots and snacks and cuddles for everyone. All their fun games. Luna running back and forth and jumping on the platform as I sidestep in front of it. Bella sliding down the ramp, as she does a lot now that she has realised I’ll give her a treat for it.
Good for the soul to be in that space.
8/6 2026
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Triple goat bonus score.
8/6 2026
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President Baby is cranky, I think he needs a nap.
Kind of ironic how he DOESN’T have teh guts to meet the press.
Etc.
Fkn embarrASSment.
8/6 2026
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It’s so nice to be able to sit with Sky and just be the two of us for a bit.
8/6 2026
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And some time with Bella. She’s a sweet girl too, but you have do know how to handle her. You are not going to put your arms around her for a hug, she will not have that. And she has spots where she absolutely loves being scratched, but then there are other spots where she will just run away if you try. She is the biggest and strongest, but she can also be the most timid around humans, especially ones she’s not familiar with.
8/6 2026
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And then there’s Luna. She can be almost aggressively affectionate. if I didn’t stop her, she would probably lick my nose down to a stub. If I put my arm on her back she’ll often move as close as she can so she’s right up against me and being hugged. She’s not a little baby anymore, but she’s still the brat of the bunch and a whole lot of fun.
8/6 2026
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Well, well, well. The housing association replied already. They are sending a repairman over tomorrow morning to look at my ventilation system. So things suddenly went fast!
I should have contacted them ages ago.
But we’ll see what happens tomorrow. At least with such short notice I don’t have so much time to worry. Of course I am already worrying. Having people in my apartment is just.. difficult for me.
But I’m glad it will be looked at now. I really hope there’s a problem that can be fixed immediately. Even if he says “yeah that’s just how it’s going to be, live with it” then at least that would close the case and I can do what I must to deal with it. My worst fear is if it’s some big issue that will take more time and more visits to deal with. Let’s hope not.
I just want it done. And for tomorrow to go smoothly.
8/6 2026
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Alrightey then. Got my ventilation looked at by the housing association. And it went okay.
The guy came at 8.45, so that was nice I didn’t have to wait around and worry for too long. Although I was up around 5.30 and nervously trying to get things ready.
But as always, the worry was worse than the actual thing. And the repairman was nice.
I am not sure if I am actually going to get any results out of it, though. He looked at it all and asked questions and noted stuff down. He has to talk to a colleague about it, and it may be forwarded to an electrician. So I will have to wait and see. It didn’t sound like he necessarily felt it was really a problem. He wasn’t sure how quiet it was actually supposed to be. I feel like it’s sucking air way too powerfully. But ok, I’ll have to wait and see what they say. And even if they say they won’t do anything about it, at least I have had it looked at.
If they don’t do anything about it, I will cover it with cloth again to make iess intrusive while keeping some airflow. That should work okay.
At least I can check that off the list, for now.
9/6 2026
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Got an hour fiftyfive on the bike today. So I got that going for me. I’m glad the hous association guy came so early, so he didn’t get in the way of my exercise schedule.
Legs stronger today, after a couple of days break. Although goat days aren’t really breaks as I do all the walking, and chasing goats. But it’s easier on the legs than the hard biking.
I’ll have myself a nice plate of tomatoes today. And more Pepsi. I lost a bit more weight after getting the caffeine back. Coincidence? I don’t know. But I’ll keep sipping that sweet poison for the next couple of weeks as I try to do my final push.
9/6 2026
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For the Keiko level subscribers.
I just caught the end of a berryfall from Luna. Berries rolling down the ramp! Unfortunately Bella did not play ball and send more downstream.
9/6 2026
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goatlog
10/6 2026
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Got an hour fifty on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Tired legs, as they usually are when I do two days in a row. But it felt good. And I dropped more weight. Drinking the Pepsi really seems to make a difference. It’s not a scientific study or anything. But for me there seems to be cause and effect. Not like the Pepsi makes me lose weight just by itself. But all that caffeine must help me burn the fat when I work hard. And I have worked very hard. Got my lowest recorded weight since.. well, since last June. Over the year after that I gradually put on weight again, and especially after my birthday it got pretty bad. I think I put almost 20 pounds on over that year. Those are gone again. That’s really satisfying. I’m still going to try to lose a bit more, and then I’ll have to try not to put it all back on when I ease up on things.
But hey, I can pat myself on the back a little for accomplishing this. For someone who has struggled with his weight all his life, it feels good to lose it. Hah, maybe that’s why I often end up putting it back on. It’s so I can get the rush of losing it again! Well, it would probably be smarter to find some stability, instead of gaining and losing weight over and over. A lot of it is tied to my mental state though, and that’s.. a complicated beast. Caffeine can’t burn the depression from my mind.
But way to go, today. I have my next doctor checkup in a few weeks, and this time the blood sugar should be just fine. Hopefully my potassium levels are okay too. As directed by the doctor, I stopped taking the potassium supplements about a month ago. So we’ll see if the levels are good on their own now.
Now it’s tomato time.
10/6 2026
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Luna also enjoys the tomato diet!
She’s the least adventurous eater of the three, often not interested in unfamiliar things. But part of it is because she’s always with Bella, and Bella is so dominant. A lot of goats want to sniff and nibble at new stuff before they’ll start to eat. And Luna just doesn’t get time for that. She start investigating, but before she can get to the part where she actually takes a bit, Bella will push her out of the way and start eating.
But in this photo I had them separated, so Luna could take her time, and once she got going she loved the mater.
10/6 2026
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Good goat times today. Sweet day with the gang. The sun trying to break thrugh the clouds, and often succeeding for some nice spells. Wouldn’t mind if it warmed up a bit again soon, though.
Lots of visitors, Jeanette already had the campfire going hen I got there. A sweet little girl came over to me and the goats on the platform. And just as she got there Bella did one of her belly slides down the ramp. Which sent the girl into a massive giggle fit, which was pretty cute. Another girl came over and started going up the ramp and sliding down over and over, I guess she got the idea from Bella.
And there was a girl who wanted to have a closer look at Bella, who just happened to have her rear facing towards the girl. She lifted her hand and pointed right at Bella’s butt and laughed. Everyone had a jolly amusing time it seems.
And when all the kids left I got to sit down and relax in the sunshine with the goats. Pretty pretty good.
And now it’s time for some soup, I won’t say no to that.
11/6 2026
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Bella, as the blue sky started to take hold.
11/6 2026
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Sweet SkyGirl. She got called “the baby” again. Short girl problems.
11/6 2026
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Featherbutts too. The Italian sisters.
11/6 2026
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Got an hour fortyfive on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Still working hard. Got a tomato delivery too, so I’ll be enjoying some nice fresh maters now.
And got a call from the electrician, he’s going to come on Monday and look at my ventilation issue. So hopefully that will be finished Monday, one way or another. I hope. I was supposed to help trim hooves at the playground on Monday, but they’ll have to do it without me.
Feeling tired now. But that’s okay. Time keeps timing out.
12/6 2026
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Talked with my mother today. Dad’s alzheimer is unfortunately getting worse. His memory is getting even worse. He’s having nightmares too. Last night I guess he woke up very confused and thought he was back in the neighbourhood where he grew up, and I think he had problems recognising mom and wanting to know where she was.
Very sad and scary.
They are starting to look into the possibility of retirement homes. If he was living on his own, he would have had to by now. I don’t think he could take care of himself anymore, I’m not sure how safe it is for him to go out by himself now either. But they’re looking into finding a place where it’s possible for both of them to move in, so they can stay together. Mom has mobility issues and other stuff, but she’s keeping things together. Must be a big strain on her.
I hope they can find a place where they can go together. Dad obviously needs a lot of care now. But I wouldn’t want him, or her, to be alone.
Sigh.
it’s a cruel disease, alzheimer’s.
I wish I could do something about it. Fix it. Or be a better support. I have all my own issues and problems, I wish I could be a better and more normal son.
I was supposed to go help with dad’s email yesterday actually, he got logged out and they couldn’t figure out how to fix it. Mom’s English isn’t good and dad’s obviously not so capable of the tech stuff. But they did managed to get him logged in with a code from sms, so that as good. Computer stuff I can usually fix. Everything else is.. a challenge.
It’s hard to see things get harder for them. And it feeds my depression. What’s the point of working to get better when you can’t save the ones you love and you know in the end we all end up the same. Why bother. And look at the world and everything that’s going, everything’s just so ugh. I often feel like I wasn’t meant for this world.
I know that’s not constructive.
Anyway. Thank you all for the support you always offer me and my family. And giving me the space to vent.
Hope ing for the best for as long as possible.
12/6 2026
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Thanks everyone again.
Heading to bed now, it’s a Morrissey lullaby kind of night.
13/6 2026
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Got an hour fiftyfive on the bike today. So I got that going for me. Sweating out some frustration and sadness. Feels good to burn it up.
It’s not going to be a super healthy day today, though. I am treating myself later. Yesterday’s tomato delivery also included licorice, chocolate and fudge. Whoops! Well, I have worked so hard and accomplished what I wanted largely, so I thought I deserved a treat. And there was a sale. So, tonight I’m going to spoil myself. And after that I’ll try another week of tomato diet and see how it goes. I feel like I may have reached my limit on the weight loss for this round, though. And that would be fine. I have done good, and well actually.
Looking forward to treats tonight.
Thank you again everyone for the comments yesterday. I appraciate it. I know many of you have been through similar or other tough things with your parents. I know many of you are older than I am (no offense!) and everyone has to face these things. Some aren’t even lucky enough to have their parents or good relationship with them. I appreciate having my parents and all they have done, and are doing, for me. It was not always an easy relationship. I mnetioned recently how I got access to my old diaryland online journal, and reading the oldest entries, the difference from then to now is staggering. I was not an easy child, or young man.
Anyway. Here is where we are, now. One day a day.
And tonight Ima have chocolate for the first time in I don’t know how long. Must be the first time this year certainly, maybe first time since I moved in here? I’m not even sure.
Fudge it!
13/6 2026
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Imagine being a real world trillionaire and not spending every day just going around being a superhero and helping people in need and buying school lunches for kids and restoring faith in humanity and just imagine you could spend a million dollars a day on improving humanity and saving the earth and adopting puppies and paying people to just play with them and you could go on for so long, I don’t even know how many millions are in a trillion but I bet you could go on for a long time just making people happy
and instead you sit in your money bin and make hate and pain.
Humans are weird.
This may be the chocolate talking, but if I were a trillkionaire I’d build actual pancake houses and then i’d let people eat them and then I’d build more pancake houses. How many pancake houses could you build for a trillion dollars, I don’t even know.
Why are the rich and powerful always such miserably knuts.
Anyway, I’m going to burp chocolate for an hou.
13/6 2026
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goatlog
14/6 2026
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Rude, Luna!
14/6 2026
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What’s Lasse watching/listening?
I have been watching 2 new televisual shows that I have really loved.
First is Widow’s Bay. I heard so much good about it that I figured I grudgingly had to look at it. I figured I’d put on one episode and not care. I ended up binging the 5 episodes that were out at the time. And I have watched everyone coming out since. It’s fanastic and I love it. It’s horror comedy, so if that sound appealing to you, I absolutely one hundred percent recommend it. It’s not sitcom laughtrack comedy, it’s more like absurd and weird funny. And just great writing and acting. I love it. One episode to go before the season is done. It has been renewed for a second season, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I kind of wanted this to just be one finished story. But the writing has been so great, I am hopeful they can come up with a good second season too. In 5 years or whatever.
And the other one is Margo’s Got Money Troubles. I didn’t figure a show about Onlyfans and wrestling and motherhood would be my thing, but it’s lovely. Very sweet and touching and Nick Offerman is absolutely brilliant in it and I love him so much. I just watched the season finale, and yes it did make me cry a little because crying at tv finales is my thing now. It’s a little nsfw but I really liked it.
Two shows that I didn’t expect to watch and like, but I’m glad to have been watching them.
Also watched the first three episode of the new season of Rick & Morty, and so far I have liked all 3 episodes better than I think every episode from last season. So that’s nice. Not as good as the first seasons of course, but I’m enjoying this season so far.
Been listening to Bowie’s Hours and liking it a lot. Not quite as much as the pumping beats of Eearthling, but it’s very pleasant and more traditional songwriting and I like it.
On the book front I am currently going through Douglas Adams’ Dirk Gently series, almost done with the first one. I wanted to give this a reread, because the first time I read it was back when I was more or less a kid. I think I have told the story before about how my class teacher and school librarian got together and conspired to try to get me to read something else than ghost and vampire books, must have been around 12-13 years old at that point. And they told me to check out Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. And I funnily enough thought it was an actual hitchhikign guide. I mean, I knew it was fictional, but I thought it was presented as an actual guide. And I never even opened the book I guess, because I didn’t find out until years later what it actually was.
Anyway, after loving the HHGTTG series so much, I wanted to read more Douglas Adams back then. So I tried Dirk Gently. But I found it a lot harder to get through. I think the more mundane, on the surface, setting and the college stuff, it was just not as gripping as the silly scifi romp. So while I liked it to a point, I didn’t love it.
So now as an older and wiser (fart) I wanted to try rereading them, and in English. And I’m really loving it. Again it took a little to get into it, but now I’m there. Typically funny and inventive from Adams. So I’m going to read the 2½ books in that series. And then I may watch the TV series they made with Elijah Wood, that seems like a thing to do
That’s all for today’s roundup, sorry for the usual waste of time. But you know how it is. Temperature controlled and fuzzy around the edges, with a sort of dip in the middle.
I may have had pizza today. After yesterday’s chocolate, licorice and fudge. Whoops. Tomorrow it’s back on the tomato diet.
14/6 2026
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Don’t take any wooden nickels. Or golden coins.
14/6 2026
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Nervous energy starting to build for the electrician visit tomorrow. Hopefully another case of the worry being worse than the actual thing. I just can’t help worrying. But hopefully it will go well. I would really like it to be finished now. Even if they do nothing about it. Putting cloth over it would be fine, I just don’t want to have it hanging over my head anymore. That ventilation sucks and blows and I’m tired of dealing with it.
And I have eaten way too unhealthily this weekend, I want to get back to the righteous past. More tomatoes coming up.
The future lies ahead, to tell the truth.
14/6 2026
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That’s all for now.