Groovy
Good goat times today. Lovely to be back in the goat place. with my best gals. Clears out a lot of the head junk to just sit around with goats.
The back isn’t doing great though. The walk felt harder than last week. Pain and stiff. But once I got to the playground it felt better. Maybe just because the goats made me not think about the pain.
Bella and Luna were knocking heads right from the get-go. And Sky bleating at them to knock it off. Or at least keep away from her.
Pretty grey day, but at least it stayed dry. Maybe a hint of sunshine coming through here and there. We had some sweet kids coming into the pen to say hi to the goats. Just a sweet goat day.
One negative though. We lost some logs. You know the little log-pile next to the bench. Only one log left, so I think four gone. I asked Jeanette if she had taken them. I thought maybe she had wanted to do something with them. But no, it wasn’t her. She told me that there had been people last night having an unauthorized fire. Because we have the at campfire site. I guess sometimes people (darn kids, Jeanette said) will sneak in and get a fire going. And they probably stole the logs to put them on the fire. So that sucks. Those logs were great for goat standing. And I don’t feel very comfortable with people coming in and starting fires on their own, seems like that could be potentially dangerous. Remember the houe that burnt down at the first playground. Yeah, humans are nothing but trouble. That’s why I’m a goat.
But now I will be an soup.
5/10 2026
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Please DO feed the goats say the goats.
5/10 2026
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My sweet SkyGirl.
5/10 2026
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Today’s attempt at a selfie with Bella and Luna.
5/10 2026
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Got my Luna hugs today too of course.
5/10 2026
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I got an email on the official Danish email system. The sender was my region, that’s where all the hospital stuff comes from. So I thought, oh that must be the results of the MRI scan! And I go to look. And it’s not. It was an invitation to participate in a study about how blueberries affect blood sugar and other things for diabetics.
Ooh kay then. I’m sure that’s a worthy cause, but i’m not really feeling up for being in medical studies right now. And also I want the results of my MRI scan already. Well, tomorrow it will be two weeks. So I should have something by tomorrow. Right? I bet I won’t! And I bet the results will show nothing useful. And I bet the sleep EEG won’t either. Maybe I’m blueberry deficient.
I am just feeling tired and hopeless, bleh bleh.
I do love blueberries. Although I like to call them blubberies.
But that’s neither here nor dear.
6/10 2026
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Think goat thoughts.
6/10 2026
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Today is Depression Screening Day and Taco Day.
I have plenty of one of those, and none of the other.
You do the math.
6/10 2026
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goatlog
7/10 2026
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Hello world. Not the best day today. I had planned to get up pretty early and get some exercise in.
That did not happen. Ended up sleeping some 12 hours ish. I’m not too mad about it. I have been sleeping so poorly and little. It wasn’t a great night’s sleep. But at least it was a fair bit of sleep. Felt good. But not how I had wanted to spend the time.
And then I got up and had a tech issue. I’ll spare you the details, but I had to spend like an hour in frustrating combat with that. So it’s been a lot of wasted time. And instead of being productive I’m just going to waste the rest of the day, sounds like a plan.
No reply back from the MRI scan. It’s been two weeks, so I should have gotten an answer. I suspect that the scan showed nothing of importance and that’s why I haven’t heard anything. But even if it shows nothing I’d still like to know that, you know? So I suppose I’ll have to try calling. Phones are closed now, and I’m not feeling at capacity for human interaction anyway. But I should try one of the next days.
Just feeling like a sad waste of space, everything is depression and worry and things going wrong. I haven’t mentioned it, but my eyesight has gotten worse too. Since the blackout. I don’t know if it’s due to something that happened when I was out, if it’s because of all the pain, all the painkillers, the even worse than normal sleep, something else. But there has been a noticeable reduction. Harder to read the computer screen for example. Hopefully it’s random temporary stuff. Maybe everything that’s going wrong will get better and things will be solved, yeah yeah you never know.
Just feeling very tired of everything. I would rather not face the days.
But here we are.
Think I’m going to cook me up a batch of noodles and mix it with coconut oil and ketchup. I haven’t had that in I don’t know how long, six months or more. I don’t care what you say, that’s a gourmet meal to me.
Need more goat time and exercise. Instead of whining on the internet.
Sorry about all this. What a drag. And not the fun kind.
7/10 2026
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Measles are back, the plague is back. Ebole is going strong. Pretty good time for virulent diseases, huh?
Don’t worry, though. We have our best reality TV doctors on the case.
Also, funny to see how many millions the AI companies are pumping right into Trump’s pockets. He used to talk sht about Musk and Zuck and all them, but now he loves them and they’re SUPER. Funny how that goes. I imagine you won’t even need to vote in the election, they’ll just have AI do it.
You’re right, thinking you would vote for Count Chocula was a mistake on my part. I’m sorry about that. Would you like me to list some other fictional characters that I voted for on your behalf?
Quoth the raven, this fkn sht.
7/10 2026
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Triple goat score. As Sky below so Bella above.
7/10 2026
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Good goat times today. Ahh, that’s more like it. Out of my head and into the goat place. That’s where I belong.
A dark and rainy morning. And it rained pretty much the whole time I was there. So not a lot of running around. But a lot of sitting and listening to the rain and scratching goat backs. That’s pretty good too. Sky staying in her Sky Pad under the podium for most of the time. She did came up to us for breakfast and stayed under the half roof for a while so I could sit with her like that. And periodically I’d go down to her little nest to give her some snacks and cuddles. While Bella and Luna occupied the big house.
We did get some visitors from the neighbouring school. They came in and said hi to the goats, but quickly got out of there again.
I do like a good goat rain day.
Got home and spent a lot of time on the floor. Doing stretches and exercises. My back was better today than earlier in the week. I do feel like there’s a little progress. I will probably wait until next week to make any decisions about calling the doctor or not.
But I’m making the decision right now to call the soup. HEY SOUP GET OVER HERE.
8/10 2026
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Peekaboo, I see Sky. Out of the rain.
8/10 2026
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Rain or shine, I need my Luna hugs.
8/10 2026
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Do we have a new feathery goat pal? Let’s hope! This little one spent a lot of time with us today. I have to admit I am not sure if it’s one of the new hens or not. But it would make sense. Since I came back, I have seen this one up with the goats several times. Today there was also a black (I think) hen up with us, but it didn’t stay too long. The one though, got all the ay into the goats’ bedroom and it was hanging around and digging the dirt for a long time. I tried throwing out some peanut crumbles for it. Not sure if it took any or not, but I was just trying to give it the idea that hanging with the goats means treats too. Would be nice if we had a new feather to hang out with the furs.
Funnily though Luna has not changed her mind on the feathers. She doesn’t want them to come too close. Every time it came near she would shake her head at it. Like she was trying to headbutt it, even though it wasn’t within reach. Just a “get away from me” gesture. And the clucker dutifully obliged and squawked a little away. And then continued digging in the dirt and coming closer again.
But it’s promising at least. Let’s hope it keeps coming up to the goats, gives everything a little extra life when there are feathers with the furs.
8/10 2026
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Streaming executions online. Makes perfect sense that this is where society is heading. All the pro-lifers can sit there with a bucket of popcorn and watch someone get murdered.
Is it going to be a .gov streamer or will it go on Disney+ or Hulu or something?
I smell another FIFA peace prize coming!
9/10 2026
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Bella and the Butt, my favourite morning radio DJs.
9/10 2026
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A look at the new feathers. I presume those two are new ones. Pretty sure the black one is new. The red one looks a lot like others we’ve had of course. Hard not to think of Red Sonja. She looks and acts like a Red Sonja 2.0. I hope she’ll keep coming up to the goats, and I hope she can get friendly with Sky. When Sky isn’t rained in under the podium.
9/10 2026
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Took a picture of homebase on my way home in the rain. My rain camera uses a weird colour mode and with my bad vision I honestly can’t tell if this looks dumb or artsy or normal or like complete dogturd. You decide! But do notice the bird, that was completely by accident. Didn’t know it was there until I came home and looked at the shots.
10/10 2026
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Got an hour ten on the bike today. So I got that going for me.
Good to get back to some exercise. It’s been tough. All this pain and depression makes me make bad choices. Eating unhealthily and skipping exercise. So I’m glad I got on it today. And then I spent an hour on the floor. Stretching and exercising the back. And I don’t know if that’s smart or not. When I was done I was hurting a lot. But hopefully that was just the immediate stress that caused it. It’s already feeling better. Hopefully the effort will lead to improvement? Or maybe I shouldn’t be putting so much strain on it. I don’t know. Being unhealthy and putting on weight and getting out of shape surely is just making the back pains worse. I know I should go to the doctor already. But. There has been so many doctor/hospital things. And there’s more coming. The sleep EEG is in like 3 weeks. And I guess next week I probably have to call the neuro dept and ask about the MRI results. And I’m just tired and sad about everything. I know going to do the doctor will just lead to me being sent to physical therapy and then there will be tons more to deal with there. And I know if that’s what I need then it’s better to get started on it as soon as possible. But I just. Everything’s just too much.
At least the stomach is ok. And if I take my painkillers then the back is mostly able to deal with.
Bla bla. I’m trying fasting today. Well, not completely. I took a double dose of protein powder. But I’m going to try not to eat anything else today. I have a tendency to eat and drink too much too late and I wonder how badly that might be effecting my sleep. So I’ll try not to eat tonight and see how that feels.
Unless I cave and order pizza, but i’m sure that’s not going to [end transmission]
10/10 2026
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Someone tell President Super Intelligence that Nobel Peace Prizes aren’t cheeseburgers, you can’t have 8 just because you want them.
10/10 2026
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Triple goat score.
10/10 2026
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Oh. Hey. The results of my MRI scan are up on the Danish health org site.
So. That’s interesting.
Ther are a LOT of words I don’t understand.
It ends with stating the plan going forward, which is: Telephonic contact to patient after EEG is done.
So. Nothing that needs immediate action. There are a lot of things that are stated as “not found” or similar. Bad things that weren’t found, which is good. As far as I can tell all the results of the actual brain scan were good things. It does say there are light artefacts on the scan, so the results are with reservations for that.
There are a couple of things that don’t sound like they’re good, but they’re hard for me to interpret. Running them through google translate they are:
“Accentuated surface furrows, especially biparietal”
Furrows on my head? The skull. I don’t know if that has any meaning.
And then there’s:
“nonspecific cystic change in the left parotid gland”
A fluid cyst? Looking at chatgpt (ai boo hiss, I know) it looks like something with the ear. Google says most likely benign. It’s hard to interpret it all though.
I know you shouldn’t use google and ai as a doctor. Seeing as they don’t feel they need to contact me until after the EEG, I’m going to assume that it’s all relatively harmless. At least not something I need to know about right now. So. I suppose it’s mostly good news. Except it probably doesn’t offer any answers to my blackouts. But I’ll have to wait until after the EEG to find out more. At least I don’t have to call ti ask about the MRI results!
So yeah. Probably a matter of no real news which isn’t neccesarily good news but I’ll find out more later. SleepyEEG is in 3 weeks.
I should have ordered pizza…
10/10 2026
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Okay. So I took Angeline’s advice from yesterday and asked chatgpt if it could give me a simpler version of the MRI results. And it seemed to work pretty well. Of course you can’t trust ai and you shouldn’t use it as a doctor and so on, so it’s not like I’m taking it as gospel. But it seemed to make good sense and aligned with my own interpretation of the medical text. So I feel that was helpful, until I get to talk to the doctors about it after the EEG.
Basically, the simplified version came to the conclusion that I also got from my own reading of the text. Which is that all the major brain scan things came back positive, meaning good. No tumors, no bleeding or scarring or signs of problems. Also, nothing that prove epilepsy. Although it doesn’t rule it out. But no problems in all those results.
But then there are the two things that could be problems, maybe.
There’s the ear thing. Chatgpt says:
“An incidental finding near the left ear: There is a small, nonspecific cyst-like change in the left parotid gland, a salivary gland located near the ear. The report does not say exactly what it is”
Google said it theoretically could be something to do with cancer, but sounds like it’s extremely likely benign. I don’t know if this is something they will want to look into or do something about, or if it’s just something that doesn’t matter.
Then there’s the ‘furrows’ thing. I wasn’t sure from the text whether it was something on top of my head, on the outside, or if it was on my skull or something. But according to chatgpt it’s on the brain itself:
“The grooves on the surface of the brain are more pronounced than usual, especially on both sides near the top: This can sometimes be related to age-related changes or reduced brain volume. The significance depends on your age and medical history”
Reduced brain volume? Great, I have brain shrinkage! That would explain why I say and do so many stupid things!
Well, the text and the chatgpt simplification doesn’t really clearly state if it is that, if it is significat. Even after I gave it my age it didn’t really conclude anything. So this is something I’ll have o talk to the doctors about I guess. From this information I don’t know if it’s anything that matters. Sounds like maybe it’s normal for the human brain to shrink a bit with age? But I’m fairly young, so I don’t know if this is abnormal. Chatgpt says:
“At 48, this is worth asking your neurologist about, but it does not automatically mean that you have brain shrinkage or that this is causing your blackouts.”
I wonder if it could explain my really bad memory. Could it be early sign of dementia or stuff like that? Because I have wondered…
But hopefully the doctors can tell me more after the sleepyEEG in 3 weeks.
The conclusion from chatgpt said:
“The reassuring news is that your MRI does not show an obvious structural cause for seizures.
However, a normal-looking MRI does not rule out epilepsy. Many people with epilepsy have a normal MRI because seizures can result from abnormal electrical activity that does not produce visible changes on a scan.”
So. When it comes to epilepsy it seems I am not really closer to an answer. And whether my groovy brain means anythnig, I’ll have to find out later.
11/10 2026
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In other news, i andre nyheder
11/10 2026
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A little Sky and Bella.
11/10 2026
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Well, it’s been a week. Another one.
An interesting end with the MRI results, even if they didn’t bring me any conclusion really. At least yet. But nice to get a look at them.
Other than that it has been a week of struggling to try to get back to a better place. Lots of pain and depression and tiredness. So that’s not great.
I will say, today was the first day since my blackout that I didn’t take painkillers in the morning. I DID take some later in the day. But it was the first morning in what, 3 weeks? That I didn’t feel the immediate need for painkillers. So that’s something. I know I have to be careful not to put too much strain on the back, but I do feel like the stretches and exercises are having some positive effect. I hope so anyway. I know I should call the doctor, but I won’t quite yet.
I need to make more effort with the exercise and eating better. All the pain and sadness is draining my motivation and making me do bad things. Carrying extra weight around doesn’ exactly help the back pain.
And it’s getting colder and darker and rainier, hooray.
At least the brain shrinkage explains why girls keep pointing and laughing when I take off my hat.
Tee hee.
Let’s hope next week brings success and good tidings. Fight to live another day.
One day a day.
11/10 2026
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That’s all for now.