Peter Pan Complex
I am not feeling too well. That is to be expected though. It’s the new medication. My doctor told me that for the first week or so I might even feel worse than normal. Nothing to worry about. Just have to get through that, then things should be better. Right now I’m feeling very drowsy and the world seems to be swimming before my eyes. Which is kind of a funny sensation anyhow, so I’m not bothered.
I will try to get pictures of the goat kids up soon. If they would just stop spinning around my head and floating through the air…
The Fume left me a comment:
No insult intended, but maybe getting off your butt and doing something
other than cuddling animals all day would be better for your depression
than eating pills.
There is a world out there! DO SOMETHING, make it yours, instead of slowly wasting away at a playground for kids.
Now, I do believe it was meant well, but it’s not really helpful. First of all I am not at the playground all day. I have spent a lot of time there the last couple of days because of the new goat kids, but I’m not normally there for hours every day. Unfortunately. And about the pills, it’s a common misconception about depression that you can just “pull yourself together”. Or get off your butt. Real depression is not always that easy to get over. And I do think I am suffering from a rather severe depression. So that’s why I’m taking the medication. I am not expecting it to cure me and make my life wonderful. But I am hoping that it will correct some of the chemical imbalances in my brain. And thereby give me the strength to improve my life in such a way that I can find happiness on my own. And I know that no matter how “normal” or fixed I get I will still want to cuddle animals as much as possible. That is happiness to me, REAL happiness. And that’s precious to me. Hopefully I’ll be able to overcome my social phobia and get a more normal life, but the day that I won’t have time or desire to sit and play with goat kids is the day I might as well call it quits.
There are enough drones in the world as it is.
Oh and the playground isn’t just for kids. There are plenty of adults, older than me too, who visit there a lot. And even for the kids it’s not just “a playground”, it’s an important social alternative to their life in the concrete ghetto-like complex they live in. It functions almost as a daycare and an after-school home and a place where the kids can learn about responsibilities, duties, tolerance and animals. Among other things. Much more than just a playground.
April 12th, 2006 at 19:55
And about the pills, it’s a common misconception about depression that you can just “pull yourself together”.
Oh Plume, you said in one sentence what I tried to say in so many. I guess I could’ve stated my opinion in a different way. But hey, it’s what a matchhead like me gotts to learn ;o)
Hang in there. I sure know what you mean by that drowsy feeling, but it does go away, so you might as well enjoy it for now. I know, that bad humour, but some people would do anything for these kinds of sensations. heh.
I wish you lots of strength and patience. And belief :)
Hugs!!!
April 13th, 2006 at 3:29
There are more of us to the one Fume. I don’t think I would wish depression on him it’s not a good thing. I suffer from it too but only because my Son at 14 completed suicide. So I can totally relate to taking care of yourself and checking and double checking what the Dr. says and prescribes. Always remember the Drs. are not god – I just wish I had questioned my Son’s Dr. more then I did but that is hind sight. I think that is what drew me to your journal Plume is that I want you to know there are people out here who do care and would hurt greatly if anything was to ever happen to you. Take care and give the meds a chance. I hope they work out. And besides the goats and kids and lambs just make me so happy – thank you for putting a spark in my day!
April 13th, 2006 at 5:15
Um, I don’t think that reader has been reading you long if he thinks visiting the animals is a waste of time or not useful. First of all, animals need love too, and you are bonded to those animals and they are bonded to you. As far as I’m concerned what you do for them is the equivalent of any one volunteering at a humane society (which you would also be good at). Visiting the animals IS getting off your butt and doing something worthwhile, and if more people cuddled animals there’d be less war and other human bullshit.
Also, the animals have helped your depression and increased your social skills.
P.S. Humans have fucked up this world to the point where it’s going to implode and none of them are Plume. More Plumes, less Bush and Cheney (who need some goat kicks).
April 13th, 2006 at 5:18
P.S. And I echo Debbie re the photos adding joy to my day. Fume is a dumbass.
April 13th, 2006 at 8:26
You rambling fool you wish upon youself !
The drug industry has created the myth that depression and anxiety
dsorders are the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain.
They are not. They are a direct result from habituated negative
thinking, learned through years of practice, that they have become
entanged with the very fabric of identity.
Medication has NO POSITIVE effect in the long run. Changing your
selfimage and the way you think is the way to a truely cure and longterm
relief.
April 13th, 2006 at 9:49
Enjoy this delightful small but saying poem, from a famous danish rock group
.. Can you guess which one?
Dig out yourself from rubble, removing all your skin.
And don’t ever think of trouble, the darkness that has been.
No, don’t patronize with sorrow, I don’t mean to.
Mit navn det staar med prikker
. . .
April 14th, 2006 at 2:52
Fume must be Tom Cruise.
A simpleton who either can’t spell or can’t be bothered to take the time to correct his mistakes. (This is a loathesome quality in an obnoxious critic).
I’d agree with you that the drug industry is evil in some respects, but there are people in this world who have chemical shit going on and that chemical shit *causes* the negative thinking. Chicken? Egg? Who cares when you’re about to slit your wrists from the pain.
The next time you’re in dire pain and need triple strength tylenol you’ll be thanking it. Or um…maybe you can just will the pain (or chronic insomnia or phobias or panic attacks) to go away with positive thinking.
Some people need meds, all people on meds can benefit from therapy, others just need some therapy. Life is complicated.
Leave Plume Alone. If he needs his ass kicked, those of us who love him will do it. K?
April 14th, 2006 at 7:48
Well said Lasse, well said.
April 14th, 2006 at 13:47
Katherine, give me five! ;)
Yep, sounds like Tom found Plume’s blog. Too bad for him >:D