Since I’m up late to wait for my Oscar, here’s a thing in case you’re curious..
1. Do you put ketchup on a hot dog?
When I ate hot dogs I did. I put ketchup on a lot of stuff because I am 8 years old.
2. Choice of soda?
Pepsi Max. And Faxe Free.
3. Do you own a gun?
Lol Denmark lol no
4. Can you swim?
I’m a witch
5. Hot dogs or cheeseburgers?
Neither. Unless putting cheese between a couple of slices of toast bread counts as a cheeseburger.
6. Favorite type of food?
Pizza and mama’s soup.
7. Do you believe in ghosts?
Ghosts don’t care if I believe in them.
8. What do you drink in the morning?
Water for my medicine.
9. Can you do 100 pushups?
Oh I assume so, I mean why would’nt I?
10. Summer, Winter, Spring, or Fall?
Used to be winter, now summer.
11. Your favorite hobby?
Goating,
12. Tattoos?
Nah, I’m good.
13. Do you wear glasses?
Filter glasses when I’m outside.
14. Do you have a phobia?
A phobia has me.
15. Do you have a nick name?
Fatty fat fat-fat. And baah.
16. Three favorite drinks?
Pepsi, Faxe and black currant lemnade.
17. Biggest downfall?
That time I fell and cracked a rib on cam.
18. Rain or Snow?
Summer rain. Or looking at snow.
19. Can you change a tire?
That depends. Does the tire want to be changed? I don’t feel like I have the right to decide how a tire should live it’s life.
20. Favorite flower?
Blue rose
21. Can you drive a stick?
I can plant a stick for goats to scratch on.
22. Ever gone skydiving?
No
23. Kids?
Goat kids.
24. Favorite color?
Red. Or green grass or blue sky or white snow.
25.Employed?
Goatsitter.
26. Can you whistle?
I can whistle for goats.
27. Where were you born?
In the Q continuum
28. Siblings?
One brother.
29. Surgeries?
Plenty.
30. Shower or bath?
I wish I had a bath tub, but I’d probably drown.
31. Last song you listened to?
Darkseid by Grimes.
32. Broken bones?
I broke every leg and arm multiple times as a kid.I think. The best one was when I broke my arm on the last school day before summer vacation. That was great.
33. How many TVs are in your house?
One.
34. Worst Pain?
Life. Eye pressure was awful too.
35. Do you like to sing?
Yes, until I hear myself.
36. Are your parents still alive?
Yes, thankfully.
37. Do you like camping?
No. I’m not sure I’ve ever been camping.
38. What do you enjoy binge watching?
I want to watch every episode of every Star Trek series soon.. But I don’t really binge watch much. I prefer shows to be released on a weekly basic.
39. Pumpkin or pecan pie?
Not sure I’ve ever had pecan. Come to think of it, not sure I’ve ever had pumpkin. I’m not a big pie guy.
40. Someone who will play along?
All the world’s a stage.
10/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

10/2 2020
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Tippy toe Milo

10/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

11/2 2020
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goatlog

11/2 2020
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Welcome to the Goat Club, may I see your invitation please?

11/2 2020
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I’m definitely not saying anything about politics or Roger Stone.
*blinks rapidly three times*
11/2 2020
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Remember when Gangnam Style seemed like the biggest threat to our sanity?
12/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone, with bonus humps.

12/2 2020
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Hey, who turnt up the gravity?
13/2 2020
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I dreamt that there was a dangerous group called The Authenticals that were trying to break through to our world from another dimension and I’m not sure if they were monsters or androids or what, but I know they wanted to wipe out all humans, I guess because humans aren’t authentic?
Also, according to a headline I saw on twitter there’s a dangerous asteroid hurtling towards Earth.
I feel the pull of the bottomless sea.
So you know, everyhing’s fine. I’ll be waiting with a cocked shotgun and a pack of sandwiches.
13/2 2020
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At least i make myself useful to the goats, hopefully I will be spared in the ragnarok
link: butt scratch video13/2 2020
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“The Trump administration Friday filed a brief with the Supreme Court arguing that gay workers are not protected by federal civil rights law. The filing came exactly one week after the administration argued the same for transgender workers.”
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Donald Trump is a piece of shit, if you support Trump you’re a piece of shit, if you’re more worried about socialism than about nazism you’re a piece of shit. If you think Limbaugh deserves a medal you’re a piece of shit. If you think climate change isn’t real you’re a dumb piece of shit. Thank you for saluting your shitstained flag.
Fight me ban me, I don’t care. This shithole world is dumb. Bring on the authenticals.
13/2 2020
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Deep braeth. There is only goat.

13/2 2020
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14/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut and Popcorn from 2015.

14/2 2020
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Good goat times today. Mia spotted me across the horse field as I came walking. That girl’s got better eyesight than I do. They don’t bleat for just everyone who comes walking, so it’s nice to know she can recognise me from that far away. A nice welcome salute.
A young mother with a boy arrived just as I got into the pen. She remarked on how talkative the goats were being. And how they don’t always come to the fence. Yeah, it’s mud mud mud everywhere mud. So I can imagine if I’m not there they might not always go to the fence. Especially Mia. Big gal tippytoing aross the planks and stones I put down. Easier for the littles to balance on that stuff.
Got them all out for a walkabout. Then back and relax in the pen. Wish spring would get here soon. The weather guy said that we’ve already hit the average rainfall of February, and we’re only halfway through the month. Mild temperatures and lots of rain. Can we just get fresh leaves and sunshine already?!
14/2 2020
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Goat butt parade.

14/2 2020
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Happy Valentines from me and my best gal

14/2 2020
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Good soup times today. Had a nice souptime with the folks and brother. Always nice. Maybe the last of the season, since winter is almost over, if it even began. Enjoy every pot of soup like it could be your last.
15/2 2020
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Goat butt parade.

15/2 2020
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This TikTok’s on fleek. Bleep bloop. Sorry, I didn’t mean to snargle your flerk. I’ll just go bongle the dolk with sherpner rama lama ding dong
16/2 2020
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I wish everyone could be happy and okay and well. If I were god I’d make it so. and you wouldn’t even have to believe in me or sacrifice to me or hate those who believed in other gods or anything. You wouldn’t even have to doubt me, i’d have my own pocdast or a tv show, gabbing with god (is that a Flanders thing, I feel like that’s a Flanders thing) and I’d like perform magic tricks to get kids to giggle and there’d be no question. Id throw my halo around like a frisbee and I’d give animals the ability to talk, and maybe the humans the ability to be silent.
The rest of the time i’d eat pizza and watch soccer from the 90s.
16/2 2020
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I mean, not to go on about religion but…
blind faith is weird. If there is a god, you don’t know which god is the right one. You don’t know who or what god is. God could be a sentient Ikea store, you don’t know. So you pick one (or rather, your family/surroundings/peer pressure picks one) and then you blindly believe and then if you happen to be right, you get rewarded for that? And people who, by chance and circumstance, pick the wrong god get punished? That makes no sense. Why should you be rewarded for blindly believing in something that you don’t know and have no possible way of knowing? Why is that good? Is your faith strong? No it’s not! Cos you don’t know. Your faith is pointless, because you don’t know. You just close your eyes and press the speeder and barrel down the highway.
Heaven shouldn’t be a prize for spinning the lucky wheel and hitting the right god. Heaven should be here and now, on earth. Too bad it’s infested with humans.16/2 2020
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Today will be a good day . Happy Funday everyone.

16/2 2020
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If we stick together we can get through this.

16/2 2020
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That’s all for now.

Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

3/2 2020
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Auch. Burned my throat. Drank some apple cider vinegar. I usually don’t have problems with that. Drink a little from a glass, flush it down with water. Felt stronger than it usually is. Maybe it was because I shook the bottle more than I usually do beforehand? Now i have a sore throat. Oh well. Did manage to do a little exercise. I would have gone longer if I hadn’t fel like I had to throw up from the acv, is what I’m telling myself.
3/2 2020
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Nuller and Milo. Us boys gotta stick together.

3/2 2020
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Putting morally bankrupt people in charge of the world is really working out great.
3/2 2020
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Let me tell you a fairy tale.
But then also let me force you to live by the tules of the fairy tale, let me infuse your laws and policies with the laws of the fairy tale, and let me convince your kids that they’re goign to die in a firey torture pit if they don’t follow the laws.
And for bonus points, let people in other parts of the world have their own fairy tales so we can go to war and kill each other over the fairy tales.
What could go wrong?
Once upon a time, we’re all fucked.
4/2 2020
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Save me, Lily

4/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

4/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

5/2 2020
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Took antoher 30hourish sleepathon. Sweet dreams. Also laid around and thought nostalgic thoughts. Like diving into moments from the past.
Do you ever feel like the world passed you by? I mean, I’m not super old. But i saw times change from cassette tapes to CDs to DVDs to Blurays to the cloud. The world simple and small to giant and connected. Phones plugged into the wall. I don’t like what the world has turned into and where it’s going. I’m not saying everything was better ni the past, I’m just saying it feels like that. Do you ever wish you could have a do-over and try to get it right instead of messing everything? Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
There’s just not much point to my existence. With the blindness and phobia and loneliness and anxiety, it is only ever going to get worse because even if there was a path to somewhere better I’d never dare to take it. I’m only ever going to get blinder and sadder, it would be easier to just skip skip skip to the end. Do you ever feel like you’re just done? Yesterday’s iPhone model, no longer needed in the world? Would you like to save 10% off your long distance phone bill? Can you believe it’s not butter? I just want to play Commodore 64 games and read Fighting Fantasy books and listen to Gish and eat spaghetti with red sausages. It’s funny I have a recurring huge craving for sausages, be it with spaghetti as I always ate as a kid or in hot dogs or just on their own with ketchuop and mustard while watching Barcelona games at midnight. You couldn’t pay me enough to eat a sausage to day, they’re so gross. But I still miss them. It’s weird how you can miss things that are horrible. Like it makes no sense to miss Commodore 64 games, most of them are pretty bad and basic, but I’d still rather play them than any modern games. I look at the old Larry or King’s Quest games and they are super basical and the graphics are so simple, like line art. But they still look beautiful to me. Much better than the later games in the series when they started getting disney quality painted graphics.
Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah. Nowhere.
5/2 2020
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hey, goatlog

5/2 2020
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goat gang coming to shake you down for treats

5/2 2020
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I know tearing up papers seems like a terribly uncouth thing to do, but you have to remember. When you’re a star they let you do that sort of thing.
5/2 2020
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BRING BACK DARK SKIES!!!
5/2 2020
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I expect Romney will be shunned by the repubs now. They wouldn’t wanna risk being infected by the Having A Spine virus.
6/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

6/2 2020
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Good goat times today. Good to get out and goat. It’s always better with goats. We even got sunshine today. Although it’s still muddy as all hack. I look like some kinda mud golem after a goat trip. Caked in mud. Maybe I shouldn’t let them climb all over me. Or maybe I should accept my new life as a mud golem.
At least I don’t roll around in the mud like the horses do.
6/2 2020
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Goat butt parade.

6/2 2020
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Sometimes the oldtimers just need to sit down and relax while the youngsters run around and raise hell. Is it Friday yet, pass me the liquor.
Amirite?

6/2 2020
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Big Boy Nuller

6/2 2020
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Hey, thanks all for all the kindness you show me. I am not doing superwell mentally and hpysically. I aprpeciate all the support. i’m lucky to have what I have, know who I know.
Now I’m going to go dream. See you when you get there.
6/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012

7/2 2020
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goatlog

7/2 2020
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It’s 65 degrees in Antarctica. But hey don’t worry, we got a stable genius who knows that climate change is a hoax by the Chinese.
I don’t understand how animal lovers can support this guy. Unless you only care about the animals that sleep at the foot of your bed. Don’t tell me you care more about the dog dying than the human dying in the movies. You care about the farmer having his rifle, not about old yeller.
The whole world is going to shit, and you’re supporting the family that posts selfie with corpses of endangered animals.
You really gotta give Trump credit for how he’s manage to sucker so many people. He’s never read a word of the bible, he’d probably burst into flames if he touched one. But still religious people support him. And women supporting him despite the constant misoginy. The stupidity. The corruption. Just the way he acts. It’s so embarrassing. That guy isl eaving a shitstain on the Amerian flag that’s going to be hard to wash off.
Ugh. It’s so frustrating.
Like I said on the twitter, at least we don’t have to ask how things like fascism and Hitler could happen anymore. It is quite obvious.
7/2 2020
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Breaking news, goats!

7/2 2020
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Hello fellow humans, I also am in control of all my facial muscles and know how to pose for selfies. Can you please direct me to your planet’s reserve of precious gems and pizza?

7/2 2020
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I got 99 luftballons but a blimp ain’t one
7/2 2020
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But how do you know which ticket to get if you take a midnight train going anywhere?
8/2 2020
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Yes, I want fries with that. Yes, I do know this is a Toys-R-Us.
8/2 2020
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Okay, but what was Bill Cosby doing at the prayer breakfast?
8/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads from 2006.

8/2 2020
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Did you know that the Danish word for ‘sausage’ is the same as the Danish word for poop?
#TheMoreYouDanish
8/2 2020
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I think Mia’s legs disappeared.

8/2 2020
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Alright, I’m gonna give you all a break from the insanity. Off to dreamland for a long stroll. I must be feeling a little better since I’ve had the desire to harass people with bad jokes, political rambles and goat posts. The trifecta of #Laxit.
On the other hand *makes narrow eyes at reality* *makes sign of the cross* *makes devil horn signs* *writes in asterisks to continune to annoy people*
You guys got any milk?
8/2 2020
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

9/2 2020
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Wow. I had a series of wonderful, trippy dreams last night. So much better than reality. My favourite was meeting Kyle MacLachlan and trying to teach him Danish. There was also a pretty terrifying dreams where I was taking part in some deep, dark ritual. First I had to go to an old, dark mansion. But I couldn’t just walk there. I had to be dragged on my back through a forest. Through mud and branches. With stuff falling from the trees onto me. Some if it were acorns that I had to eat as part of the ritual, but other stuff was little warms with big mouths full of sharp teeth. Yikes. And htne into the mansion and through some stuff and then there was a weird guy chanting, kind of like he had been squashed by too much gravity, weird and deformed. And while we were chanting we had to eat cake. Which sounds funny. But it was some kind of super-dry marble cake. And then I woke up just before, I can only assume we summoned beelezebub or Trump or something.
And in another dream I met this guy I worked with many many years ago, i don’t even remember his name. I remember he was big into Sun Ra Arkestra music. And we were in a bus and it was snowing outside. But the snow started piling up inside the bus. And i had a long beard. And there was semi lucid parts. And at one point I was in a dream I was really enjoying and I started feelign that I was waking up and I tried to cling onto the dreamworld but couldn’t.
And I could go on and on. But I won’t. Your move, reality.
9/2 2020
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goatlog

9/2 2020
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Sassy says hi. Hi, Sassy, hi.

9/2 2020
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Today is National Pizza Day, and I didn’t even realise. Luckily, as the odds would have it, I just happened to have pizza today. I found a new pizza place that I like. Tried a deep pan pizza today. Praise be the holy pizza, bring of life and greasy wellness. Blessed be your toppings and may you be sliced to perfection, hlory hallelujer.
Still more dignified than the prayer breakfast.
9/2 2020
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It’s good to have a purpose in life. Even if it’s just “goat butt scratcher”

9/2 2020
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I wish I could go back to Kyrandia. To Monkey Island. To Karamoon. Back to the future.
9/2 2020
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Know your place, human.

9/2 2020
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That’s all for now.