Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

15/4 2019
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School must be hell for Nuller, the teacher always thinks he’s wanting to answer the problems.

15/4 2019
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Awful to see Notre Dame in flames. History burning…
15/4 2019
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Let’s put a happier thought up. Biscuitfaced Nuller.

15/4 2019
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Rural Juror 2: Supreme Court Boogaloo
15/4 2019
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Sassy found herself a place in the sun

16/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.

16/4 2019
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Good goat times today. A fairly cold morning, but we got a good deal of sunshine so it warmed up along the day. When I got to the playground I found all the goats out in the pen. Oldfurs and newbies. Let’s hope that’s new standard procedure, that would be really nice if they could get let out together in the morning instead of the newbies having to wait inside longer than the olds.
It might just be because it’s Easter holiday and someone else is handling it right now. We’ll see. I think it’s Easter vacation, even if it’s not the Holidays yet. But we had more visitors than usual. Both when we were out on the greens and when we were back in the pen. Lots of kids to enjoy the goats and I got to talk to a couple of grandmas that asked questions. Good times.
One lady commented on Sky, and said she must be pregnant! Oh no, here we go again. Hey, maybe it will be nice to be asked about pregnancies everytime we have visitors again… but Sky has just been blessed by the treat fairy. (If you’re not pictuing me in a tutu with diadem on my head then you’re not doing it right).
16/4 2019
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The newbies hard at work keeping the grass down.

16/4 2019
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Feeling dumb,
might understand that meme later IDK
16/4 2019
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Looks like Sassy is taking over grandma Mio’s old, favourite corner spot. She’s quicker to sit down than the other goats.

16/4 2019
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rip easter chocolate
16/4 2019
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16/4 2019
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I think this is the only time Lily has ever accepted lapgoat time. sometimes, when looking for treats, she’ll jump up and stand on my lap. But if I grab her and sit her down, she’ll squirm and get up. Clearly not used to strange humans that sit around and cuddle goats. It would be nice if she could get used to this, but I’m not sure she will. Milo and Sky are still great lapgoats, even if they’re big now. And Nuller? Foggedabout it. He’s all over me. Seriously, I have to practically push him away when I want to have a little time alone to clean my camera lens. He still just hurls himself at me from all odd angles. And often while climbing around on me he’ll sort of half fall over and end up sitting in my lap.
So to answer your question, yes I’m totally normal too, thank you for pointing that out.
link: Lily lapgoat video

16/4 2019
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Why can’t we pantomime, just close our eyes and sleep sweet dreams. Me and you with wings on our hooves.

16/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone

17/4 2019
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goatlog

17/4 2019
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I’m sorry, Inspector Nuller will have to check this shipment of hay.

17/4 2019
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Poison perfume
rigor mortis aftershave
dead eye, i am just like you
hollow and see through
shimmering around the edges
doused in gasoline, playing with matches
chloroform apetizer, rohypnol dessert
five courses of rotting carcasses
remarkably unremarkable
sparkling in the sunshine
glitter falling stars
bitter aftertaste of blood and vaseline lipstick
some assembly required, coming apart at the seams
decomposing symphonies, deconstructed conductor
electrical current currency
patterns in the dark
paths in the night
sleeping in the light
18/4 2019
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If you want to check someone’s passport before you decide whether it’s worth having compassion for them and helping them in their need, then you’re not a good Christian.
#HotTakes
PS Is Roy Moore still leading the polls? No wonder Republicans are against abortion, where would the rick old white men find kids to fuck if they all got aborted?
18/4 2019
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Think goat thoughts. There is only goat.

18/4 2019
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Ooh. Master & Apprentice audibook is here. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Screw you, real world. I’ll be in my Star Wars place.
18/4 2019
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fyi, I deleted the previous post. I didn’t want it to turn into a big thing with everyone piling on the person I was talking about. I actually feel pretty bad for that person.
So if you’re wondering why it’s gone, that’s why it’s gone.
Also, I’m just going to come out and say what we’re all thinking. “Dax” is not a real name.
18/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje from 2007.

18/4 2019
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Good goat times today. It was a rough morning with dark thoughts, I kinda just wanted to go to bed and sleep all day and all of the night. But then I looked at the weather forecast. Sunny and 16C/60F. It would be a shame to not spend a day like that with goats.
So I got out, thankfully. There was a cold wind in the morning. But a beautiful sunny day and as it wore on it got positively springy, even a little summerly. That’s what we like.
We also like being met by all 6 goats out in the pen at arrival. It still might just because of the Easter vacation. But here’s hoping it’ll keep going like that.
Got them all out and we had a jolly good time. I keep slowly taking them further from the pen. We got the furthest out yet today. Next to the bleachers, to the little grassy hell next to them. No lawn mower had been there in ages I’d say. Great, wild grass. The best grazing of the year so far. Sassy was really going at it. Several tugs and a big mouthful of grass, yum yum. And we went on further, to the pavillion and the asphalted area and the sand pit. Lots of exploring.
And people coming by to enjoy their vacation in the sun. There was a family with a little boy and a girl who a little older. The boy kept saying the goats were sheep. And then the girl would correct him. To no avail. “Okay, sheep then!”. “NO, goats!”. It ended up with an actual shouting match. “SHEEP!” “GOATS!”. Ah, siblings.
Another boy came all the way up to us. He wanted to hold Nuller. He wasn’t quite big enough to hold Nuller. But with my help he managed it. I was the one actually holding Nuller up, but the boy got his arms around him and was very proud of his achievement.
A woman walked by with a girl in a stroller. She smiled up at us and said “It’s a nice day for goats to be out!”. It certainly is.
People seem to enjoy meeting goats out of the pen. I often hear an excited “look there are goats outside!” before I even see anyone approach. The kids excited to pet the goats, and the adults often with some questions about the goats or me.
We also got visitors in the pen later on. A couple of kids asked if they could come in the pen. I don’t think visitors are allowed in the pen but.. it’s Easter. So I told them it was okay, and they came in to see the goats. Maybe that wasn’t the best idea. More people came by and assumed it was okay to go in the pen and soon there was a little crowd, big and little humans. There were no problems. But with my bad eyesight and fear of humans it easily gets a little our of my control.
But everyone had a good time. And when a few of them left the pen I manned up and said to everyone else that “okay, I think the goats need a little peace now”. Trying not to let on that -I- was probably the one who needed the peace. Haha. All in good fun.
A big day of exploring and socializing in the sun.
18/4 2019
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New territory. Behind the fence you can just make out the bleachers. Everyone enjoyed the grass here.

18/4 2019
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And this is the goats in front of the house, but you can still see the side of the house

18/4 2019
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My face is [redacted] in the Nuller report

18/4 2019
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Hey, what’s in here?!

18/4 2019
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Now what’s this place? We’re really seeing the sights today!

18/4 2019
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Into the sandpit. Let’s hope there are no sarlaccs here.

18/4 2019
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Time to retire from the day. I’m feeling pretty drained. Long, sunny, peopley day. I think I will head on a dreamquest. It might be a while. I’ll tell you all about it when I come back, although I may have to redact some of the details. #NakedCollusion No collision no confusion so fast so numb that you can’t even
19/4 2019
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Hello world. Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce from 2014.

20/4 2019
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The greens are starting to sprout. Good days for the goat kind.

20/4 2019
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Oh boy, it’s too hot to exercise.
Which is the perfect weather to exercise in.
Love it. But almost too much today. I’d gone almost 40 hours without eating anything and only drinking very little. And then exercising in sunny heat. Tough. But it paid off on the scales. A couple of pounds down. That makes up for me buying more Easter chocolate this morning, right? Riiiight.
20/4 2019
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Lily close

20/4 2019
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I wonder if that would work in court…
JUDGE: I find the defendant… GUILTY ON ALL CHARGES.
DEFENDANT: Total exoneration, see you later suckers. *puts on sun hat and goes golfing*
20/4 2019
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Sassy and Lily are partaking in the grass

20/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

21/4 2019
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goatlog

21/4 2019
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Even Mr Fluffypants himself must stop and admire those pantaloons

21/4 2019
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On a break

21/4 2019
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Terrible news out of Sri Lanka. Just saw it on the news, reported that there are Danish tourists among the dead and injured. Obviously brings it a lot closer to home. But it’s just so sad. That humans do this. Are capable of this. Everywhere, all the time. Imagine what the human race could be if we weren’t so .. human.
21/4 2019
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Shutting down the Lasse for today. If you need the Lasse, we can recommend the cheap nom-brand Lasse-substitute in your local supermarket. All the bullsh*t with none of the nutrients and only half the calories. Nine out of ten dentists recommend that you get out of their office and stop talking nonsense and please stop leaving pamphlets in their waiting room.
Had enough of the real world for now, I’m going dreamwalking.
21/4 2019
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That’s all for now.

If any of you ever catch me trying to drink undiluted appled cider vinegar straight from the bottle again, please slap me.
8/4 2019
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BeVerly Hills Cop 5, in which Axel F gets killed and Serge has to solve the murder.
Please support my kickstarter
8/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

8/4 2019
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Dreams are so wonderful and beautiful, I have a hard time choosing reality over them.
9/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.

9/4 2019
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Good goat times today. I needed that. If you have very keen sense of observation you might have noticed I haven’t been in a good palce the last couple of days. Luckily, with the goats is a good place. I didn’t make it out yesterday, so it was important I got out today. A nice and sunny day, although cold enough in the morning that I regretted not wearing a sweater. But it got better as the day went on. And the goats goat goater. Some good, silly running around. It’s funny seeing big Mia act like a kid with the littles. It’s a little harder keeping everything under control when there’s 6 of them, but on the plus side it’s very easy to get them all riled up and running back and forth. Mia was sprinting so quickly ahead at one point that Sassy didn’t have time to get out of the way and Mia half pushed her out of the way and half jumped over her. Causing a kid at the kindergarten fence to laugh and go “that goat jumped right over that goat!”. It’s good fun when they get all worked up. The goats I mean, not the kindergarteners. Although that’s fun too.
And then lots of good times in the pen. Relaxing and handing out treats and doing stuff for the camera. With a mind blissfully free of worry.
Had to pick up a package on my way home. The younger postal lady saw me and said “I thought we’d see you, I noticed there was a package for you”. I really like our postal ladies, the younger and the elder.
There was also a sale on pasta wheels in the store. So I bought 8 big packages. The clerk must have thought I was going home to cook dinner for my big, Italian family. I go through the pasta a lot quicker these days. It crunches so loudly that you can’t just give to one goat. You end up giving to five, and then by the time you’re given everyone Mia is ready for round two and you can’t really say “You already got one!” because, you know, she’s a goat and you can’t say no. And then you have to fish out some raisins for the little guy. Yes, the treat budget has definitely increased. Good thing I make such big bucks selling goat content to the premium subscribers!
9/4 2019
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Sometimes you wanna go where everybody bleats your name, and they’re always glad you came.

9/4 2019
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Looks like there’s room for someone, if he brought treats that is.

9/4 2019
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Ah. I Thought Sky was saving a seat for me. I guess she had someone else in mind.

9/4 2019
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Still reading Eric Idle’s Sortabiography. Yesterday I listened to the chapters about Robin Williams. Very sad, as you can imagine. But I learned something that I don’t think I knew. Robin Williams had goats? According to Idle. It’s just one offhand line, the kind that most people just read on through. But to me it’s like someone hitting a giant gong. Goats? Someone said goats? I tried the google, but I couldn’t find anything about Robin Williams having goats. Maybe it just wasn’t public knowledge? I don’t know. I wonder if it was a business thing. For profit. Or just pet goats. Who knows. But oh, can you imagine Robin Williams sitting in a pasture with baby goats? That’s where I wanna go when I die. Assuming my own goat pals are there too, of course.
Maybe being with goats helped calm the storms in his mind? Or maybe I’m projecting, since that’s what they do for me.
10/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.
Say hi to Robin for me if you see him, auntie.

10/4 2019
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Thinking about how the goats calm the storm in my head. It’s the only place where I can feel calm and at ease. Other than dreams. Everywhere else. It’s a constant turmoil of anxiety, fear, worry. Blindness, self-loathing. It’s a constant. It’s someone dragging you underwater in the swimming pool, and you can’t shake them. Like swimming lanes with a rhino on your back.
And it feels like it’s always been like that. I was thinking of how as a kid I’d purposely go to school 10-15 minutes early, just so the halls were mostly empty. So I’d be the first one in the classroom. So I could get to my space, in the far corner. And sit there before everyone else started arriving. To avoid having to walk through a crowd. Always that was my seat. In the corner at the far end. So two sides were safe. Like grandma Mio always settling down in the corner. It was always torture when we weren’t allowed to pick our own seating arrangement. Having to sit with people behind me was painful.
I wonder if my mind was always wrecked or if I did it to myself, just me. I don’t know. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be normal. I’m not saying being normal is the greatest thing in the world. But it sure would be nice to not live in constant anxiety and blindness and be able to, you know, talk to people. I wonder what that’s like. I wonder what my life would have been like… I wonder if people in comas dream constantly. I wonder.
10/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.

11/4 2019
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Sorry I’m being quite spotty on the facebox lately. I don’t have smartphonery when I’m out with the goats, so no internet there. And I get very poor reception in dreamland. I think they’re still running dialup in there, so whenever someone is on the phone talking I get cut off. I’ve been spending a lot of time in dreamland lately. I was tempted to see if I could stay in bed for 48 hours. I wonder what my dreams would be like then.
Last night I dreamt, among other things, about tw of our old goat alumni. Chokolade and Lakrids. They were working in a supermarket. They hadn’t grown up, still kidsized. With tiny little.. apron things. I think their job was mainly entertaining the customers. Funny where the mind goes when you let it.
Good thing I still have some tethers to reality, otherwise I’d fly off like an escaped blimp full of helium I fear.

11/4 2019
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goatlog

11/4 2019
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Just a couple of goofs

11/4 2019
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Did they Brexit yet? I’ve been sleeping a lot..
12/4 2019
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Limb from limb, dust to dust, broken bones in the ashes, torn and trashed and bruised and bashed, up on the cross and down on the floor
12/4 2019
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O, what a tangled web we weave. When first we realise we’re a spider queen in a dream.
12/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Chokolade and Lakrids from 2008.

12/4 2019
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Good goat times today. Cold, though. Freezing with the windchill. Back to winter coat. But at least there was some sun now and then. I hope we get back to the good weather soon.
The goats were happy enough to get out and run around for a bit. And hang out at the fence so the kindergarteners could adore them. And there’s slowly starting to appear some greenery on branches here and there. The goat army will do its best to eradicate it all.
Funniest thing today was, not once, but twice Sassy tried sneaking a drink from Lily’s milk bar. Haha. Cheeky gal. Nuller got himself a drink today, so there’s still milk in there. Maybe Sassy wanted a bowl of corn flakes or something. Lily was chill about it.
Nuller got his first pasta wheel today! It was by accident, really. Milo was jumping on my back, so I gave him a wheel. Then he jumped down. And I thought he jumped back up, so I gave him another wheel. Then I realised… hmm.. isn’t Milo heavier than this? Twas Nuller up there this time. So he got himself a pasta wheel. I was a little worried that his little mouf wouldn’t be ready for that, but he seemed to cope with it. And of course, once a goat baby gets a taste of a new treat they get very eager for more. I gave him a little more, breaking off smaller pieces for him. Just a little. Don’t wanna give him too much of that stuff right now. But he sure is a cute cruncher.
12/4 2019
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Kindergartener’s delight

12/4 2019
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Nuller got more than his first pasta today.
Cracker time!

12/4 2019
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Refreshing Twitter, hoping for an Episode IX title. Come on, it’s time.
Please tell us, so I can get off twitter before Trump fires someone new and that starts trending.
Gotta hand it to Trump, he sure is draining that swamp. That swamp called Department of Juice, Homeland Security, etc.
Okay, that’s it. I’ll try to stay off the politics. GIVE ME MY STAR WARS TITLE
12/4 2019
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Mwahah. They broke Twitter.
The Rise Of Skywalker?
Hmkay. I’m going to need to download that trailer and watch it about a million times.
But hey. That title totally works with my speculationfanfic about Rey being Luke’s daughter.
12/4 2019
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“No one’s ever really gone”
*Palpatine laughter*
Sheeeeeeeet. Sheeeeev.
A rise, lord Skywalker
12/4 2019
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12/4 2019
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Brb, I’ll be in my thinking room.

12/4 2019
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Alright, I’m going to pack it in for today. Tiredytired. The Star Wars hit me in the head and heart. I’m sure by the time I’m up tomorrow the internet will have dissected the new trailer and everything will be clear and I’ll just sit here and read all about it.
And for those of you who don’t like Star Wars, there’s Star Wars. And now for something completely different. Star Wars.
*naked piano player outro*
It’s
12/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s grandma and the Ping Pong twins from 2016.

13/4 2019
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goatlog

13/4 2019
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If 500 people Like this then I won’t post my Palpatine theory.
13/4 2019
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Goat ladies are judging my Star Wars postings

13/4 2019
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OG Goat Trio comi atcha

13/4 2019
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But, can’t they like get a throne each?
14/4 2019
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Okay, so my Palpatine thoughts. They’re not really very interesting. It’s going to be long and rambling. Kinda like a political post, only about someone less evil than Trump. AMIRIGHT #SithWhiteHouse
sorry.
And I haven’t read up on the fandom reaction to the teaser trailer (other than the standard THIS IS THE BEST/WORST THING EVER AND I CANT BELIEVE HOW DISNEY IS {CRUSHING IT]/[RUINING STAR WARS] etc). I could already be proven wrong by smarter minds and bigger nerds.
First off, just because Palpatine’s laughter is in the trailer doesn’t mean he’ll be in the movie. We’ve had stuff in trailers that didn’t show up in the finished movie before. So that’s just worth remembering. But it would be a dick move to put him in the trailer and then nothing in the movie.
My personal theory is that the laughter is an echo from the past. In the old continuity, before Disney, they did bring him back in the Dark Empire comics. He lived on in clone bodies, something like that. And in the books he was researching big dark side secrets and he was aiming to get the power to literally reshape reality, plus him and Plagueis were kinda messing with life and death which may or may not have directly or indirectly lead to the birth of Anakin. Plus in the Rebels cartoon they introduced this weird.. pathway between worlds. Where you could literally travel through time and space. And the emperor did get a glimpse into it. (I hated that plotline btw). So what I’m trying to say is, if they want to bring back Palpatine there is ample ways and means and precedence.
But I don’t think they will. Feel free to ridicule me if I’m wrong. I think it’s an echo of the past. Rey has been shown to have this .. power. Or whatever. The force vision/flashback when she found the lightsaber. She heard Kenobi’s voice.She saw Luke and R2 at the burning academy. I believe they were even planning to show her walking into Luke and Vader’s duel on Bespin, but they cut it and only showed her in the corridors before it. But my theory is, she’ll hear Palpatine when they encounter the fallen Death Star, as we see in the trailer. I think that will trigger a vision and Palpatine will be featured in it.
Another possibility is that the fallen Death Star could be like the dark cave on Dagobah. I’m not sure if it’s still canon, but I believe that speculation was that the cave in Empire Strikes Back was created by the death of a powerful Sith. So imagine what the death of Palpatine could have caused. That fallen Death Star could be a huge darkside epicenter. Not necessarily with the ghost of Palpatine, but with the darkside energy. And Rey might have to go inside to recover something. And then she’ll have to face.. herself? Like Luke did. maybe face the real facts of her parentage? Maybe the Palpatine laughter will be part of that, Like Luke facing Vader only to find his own face under the mask. Maybe Rey will face Palpatine and find her own face under the hood?
Those are my thoughts.
I could be completely wrong. They might LITERALLY raise Palpatine from the dead and have him be the Epic Final Boss. Who knows.
But my money is on either Force Flashback or Darkside Cave Encounter.
14/4 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

14/4 2019
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Newfurs assemble! Form of… three goats, I guess.

14/4 2019
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My next theory will involve the Death Star II crashing on Endor and the epic Ewok barbecues that ensued. All those dead bodies on the Death Star surely didn’t go to waste… They barely had to barbecue the storm troopers since they were all roasted in the giant explosion.
Tune into my new youtube channel THE SCRUFFY LOOKING GOAT HERDER’S STAR WARS THEORIES AND FANFIC. Don’t forget to like comment and subscribe, and smash that bellend.
14/4 2019
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Mail! Thank you so much Keiko Murakami ! Three new, beautiful pieces for the collection. Baby Palle walker, Sky’s berry dispenser and a wonderful rendition of grandma Mio. It might just be because I’m seeing with my heart, but I really think you captured her beauty perfectly.
Thank you so much! When I buy an island off the coast of Costa Rica and make my goat sanctuary I shall erect a museum building and put them all on display.

14/4 2019
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Maybe I oughta trim his pantaloons. That fluff is outta control.

14/4 2019
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I have a new theory. This is what it is that it is: AHEM. I am going to bed. This is my theory. It is mine. I own all rights to it in perpetuity and across all social media. PATENT PENDING.
I’m probably going on a dreamquest, so it may be a while until you see me again. If I found out you stole my theory while I was gone I will feed you to the Ewoks.
14/4 2019
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That’s all for now.