That thing when you donate to a fundraiser and it gives an error so you press the button again and then immediately think “wait, maybe I shouldn’t have don…” and checking your inbox you see that yes, you donated twice.
But I mean, it’s for charity. So. It’s… cool.16/7 2018
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I would say that Who Is America couldn’t possibly be real, but then I’d also say that a President accused of colluding with Russia would never meet privately with Putin in Helsinki while the DOJ are indicting russians left and right, plus also all the other stuff going on. Like all of it. All of it. I’m pretty sure 2018 is just Sacha Baron Cohen in disguise. We got Punk’d. You’re on candid camera. Good morning, and in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
16/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe from 2005.

16/7 2018
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Good goat times today. Another scorcher. So hot. Good for grazing and lazing with goats. Well, lazing at least. Most of the grass is yellow and dying now. I haven’t been following the news closely but I think there’s a drought in Denmark and we aren’t allowed to water the lawns. Luckily there’s plenty of good greens on the trees and bushes. Took some work to get the goats out of the pen, though. Someone, probably Anne, had thrown some branches into the pen and they were all busy with that when I got there. It’s funny, you’d think the chance to get out and eat fresh stuff off the trees would excite them, but no. They’d rather keep eating what they had. I guess I can relate. I mean, I could go out and buy a pizza. But I’d rather stay home and have it delivered. So. Anyway, they forgave me for kicking them out of the pen once they got to the good greens and everyone was happy. Plenty of visitors, big and small too. Loud little ones. And another few rounds of the No Really Is She Pregnant game. So far no one has won it.
16/7 2018
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Lovely day for it

16/7 2018
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Just resting my eyes

16/7 2018
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It’s so hot. That’s it. It’s Thong Time. This is your four minute warning, turn off the surveillance cameras.
16/7 2018
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Wait, how far is Helsinki from Århus? Do I need to put up the garlics and holy water? It is almost in our house now. It is happening again. Send out the Fellowship Of The Owl Cave Ring. The Tulpas are convening. The Gatekeeper and the Keymaster are aligned. The Eye Of Sauron is upon us. The North is in great peril. My mithril blade is glowing. My spider sense is tingling. We are likely to be eaten by a grue. No fandom has enough metaphor to repel the Gamorrean Toddler-King.
–
Putin removes face mask and is Sacha Baron Cohen, Trump turns and faces camera with a bewildered look. Fade to black. LOST logo whooshes by.
16/7 2018
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May the love of goats keep us safe

16/7 2018
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Make The Island Great Again
link: We’re the good guys video
16/7 2018
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political steam, no reason to read. You already know if you agree or not.
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Historical times aren’t they. I think the seperating children thing will be a blight on America’s history. I mean, even if you think it’s a proper measure to take to fight illegal immigration.. you’d have to be some kind of monster to think it’s ok to seperate the children and then apparently not keeping records properly or whatever happened to prevent them being reunited? How does that even happen? You take kids away from their parents without making sure you can match them back together again? I don’t even know how that can happen. Imagine if an American citizen on vacation in Mexico or Canada or wherever commited a misdemeanor, or even was just falsely accused of one, and they had their kids taken away and then when it got cleared up and they go to get their kids they were told “Yeah, sorry. We don’t know where your kids are. Go home, we’ll mail them to you if they turn up”. It would be a war. And a President signing an executive order to stop it but then nothing really getting fixed. And a whole cottage industry of child internment camp, whatever you want to call them. How can anyone think that’s a good idea? That’s like for-profit prisons. That shit is not going to go anywhere good, for anyone else than the people making the money. It’s crazy.
And then this Helsinki meeting. And everything. EVERYTHING *flails arms*. I don’t know how it’s all going to turn out. But we’re living the future kids’ history books. Trump thinks the EU is a foe? . Praising Putin for being KGB.
And scotus. Anyone still think there’s no difference between trump and hillary? Tell that to everyone who’s going to get trampled by the supreme mech justices.
And so on and so forth. You get the picture.
Been a while since I let off some real steam. It’s just all crazy.
16/7 2018
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Okay, I’m shutting down the machines for today. I’m sorry if I offended anyone with the political post. Or to phrase it more accurately, I’m not sorry if I offended anyone with the political post. When I clearly label something. With spoiler warning so you have to click it to read it. And I warn that it’s me letting off steam about politics. Then it’s your own fault. If you don’t agree with my political views then just skip those posts and scroll to the goat post. There is always another goat post nearby. I’m just a bloody, stinking, liberal, socialist, snowflake foreigner. And who cares if we all laugh and belittle America now? You got Russia and North Korea on your side. So you know you’re on the right side of history. Someday the lamestream fake news media (and everyone who isn’t in the thralls of a dictatorship) will wake up and see the truth. And then you’ll be laughing. All the way to the bank, which is all that will be left once the environment is destroyed.
Seriously, don’t take it seriously. Arguing politics on the internet is like a Trump family reunion. Everyone is a loser.
(feel free to unfriend me. Honestly, disregarding the politics.. if you think Donald Trump is not a bad person then either unfriend me or learn to skip my political posts because shit ain’t gonna change. You’re not going to melt my snowflake).

16/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. All goats all the time, that’s for sure. Happy Yogi Day, everyone.

17/7 2018
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Oh by the way, for those of you (all 2) who remember the time I was almost sued for running a Smashing Pumpkins live MP3 site.. the guy who ran the anti piracy group was recently sentenced for fraud along with his lawyer firm partners. They were skimming the top and putting money in their own pockets instead of giving it back to the artists they were representing.
Now of course, he’s a rich old white man. Even though this is Denmark, you still a free card if you’re a rich old white man. I think his jail time was waived due to.. his age. Or something. But I’m not going to lie. Finding out that him and his law firm were a bunch of crooks was a little bit satisfying.
You’re welcome… Traci and Katt?
17/7 2018
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Gotta stay hydrated in this heat. We need a swimming pool.

17/7 2018
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goatlog

17/7 2018
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Remind me to look at this picture when it’s November and everything is cold

17/7 2018
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I’m sorry, I meant to say I WOULDN’T have sex with all the strippers after I did the cocaine.
17/7 2018
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I can’t really fit them both in my lap anymore. Not for more than 30 seconds. So this is a “quick, take a photo before they get free” picture.

17/7 2018
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True love waits. Do är drömmarna jag drömmer ibland.

17/7 2018
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American Horror Story: Now. This. This Here That’s Actually Happening.
Bit long for a subtitle, but still. Gotta be better than American Horror Story: Roanoke.
17/7 2018
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It’s all about the green

17/7 2018
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Please enjoy this brief synopsis of my lecture on why the Commore 64 was and is the best computer of all time, thank you.

17/7 2018
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Here is a deleted scene from the outtake reel for all the premium subscribers. I wanted to shoot some footage of me sitting with grandma. The moment I sat down Mia stepped on my hand. And apparently my groans of pains distrurbed grandma so she got up and walked away.
What I like about goats is that they are great at taking directions when working with superb directors such as myself.
link: Mia step on hand video
18/7 2018
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Man. Robin Williams. You know?
18/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, everyone.

18/7 2018
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Meh. I got the thought of doing a “speak now or forever hold your peace” thing, but couldn’t find something that worked so made this 5 minute thing instead. To amuse myself and offend people.
Btw, it’s not meant to be homophobic. It’s meant to imply that Trump is in bed with Russia. Allegedly. For satirical purposes. Blessed be the union.
#GayWeddingcakes #NicerBoats

18/7 2018
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I should probably stick to goats

18/7 2018
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I think I may be getting a contact high from all the crazy on the internet.
18/7 2018
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Goatsitting

18/7 2018
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I am officially tendering my resignation as a person being awake on this Wednesday. I feel like I have taken this position to its ultimate conclusion and it\s time to let someone else to take over for me.
I look forward to returning to a much saner world tomorrow. Make it so, make it so, make it so.
18/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Pong from 2016.

19/7 2018
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Good goat times today. A warm day, but not quite as scorching as the ones we’ve had lately. Clouds and wind helped make it feel comfortable. I didn’t feel too comfortable anyway, though. Felt off this morning. Dizzy and out of it. My eyes even more sensitive to the light. That usually happens when I haven’t had enough sleep. So maybe that’s it. I’ve had some dizzy spells when standing up the last few days, though. I don’t know. I actually managed to cross the road at a red light today. Whoops. I don’t know why it didn’t register to me that it was red. I almost wanted to head back home, but I dragged myself all the way to the goats, knowing I’d be feeling better there. They calm and center me. And I can sit in the shade and watch them go at the greens. I did have to get up and run around a little with the pygmies. Because, well you gotta. I love seeing them speed off in the distance. They are so fast when they get going.
To complete the day I also managed to get pooped on. Surprisingly not by the little ones. I was sitting down, leaning over to let the little ones jump on my back. And then grandma decided to butt in. Well, she didn’t want to jump on my back. Thank the heavens above. But she did wedge herself in between me and the boards I was sitting against. And then suddenly I felt it on my arm.
Ewww. Haha. I prefer when I have to go awww, not ewww. Haha. Well goat berries aren’t the worst thing. I’m glad it wasn’t a horse or a cow that did it. But still not something I want to feel on my arm. Oh lord. So if you feel like the world is shitting on you, well I goat you beat this time.
19/7 2018
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Just five more minutes, grandma. You kinda owe me. Poopity scoop.

19/7 2018
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It is time for the ceremonial application of the iced creams, hallowed be their frosting.
19/7 2018
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Milo and Sky were quite interested in the baby bunnies in this here cage. Maybe they want some petpets. Is neopets still a thing?

19/7 2018
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It’s time for the ceremonial applicated of the Lasse to the bed
19/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.

20/7 2018
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Sometimes I feel like I’m an alien on a reconnaissance mission, but I forgot the key to the folder containing all the documents describing the civilizaton I am supposed to fit in with. I don’t know how to be a human and my brain is scared of the locals.
Also I slept a long time (with excellent dreams) but I still feel tired and I get dizzy when rising too fast. I may be coming down with some kind of human disease. I knew I should have boiled the iced creams before eating them. This planet is too close to the sun and apparently their only good pizza place is closed for vacation, something that was outlawed on my home planet many moons ago due to detrimental effects it had on the society
and so on. Please take everything I write with a grain of salt as my head seems to intent on escaping from my neck and everything is a little high
20/7 2018
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These Special Edition changes have gone too far, Lucas.

20/7 2018
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goatlog

20/7 2018
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Time to break out an emergency milkshake. Where’s my hammer?
20/7 2018
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Hiding behind my goat today

20/7 2018
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dreams dont fear the sleepr
20/7 2018
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Gave myself a sad, looking at old videos to make fbf clips. Dear, old Bob. What happened to him was one of the worst things in my years of goating. I feel like I have a part of my heart that’s walled off and there’s a giant padlock on the metal door. The goats bring me so much joy, but sometimes tremendous pain too. I lock the pain in there because I can’t face it. Not the healthiest way of dealing with things. But when I peek inside I break down a little. I wish I could take some of the sand from my hourglass and put it in theirs.

20/7 2018
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The sad memories are so strong that they can overpower everything if you let them. It’s like having a boxing match with a giant octopus.
Luckily new, happy memories are constantly being added to the internal hard drive of stored moments.

21/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe from 2006. Bob’s mother.

21/7 2018
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What if the sun is just a complicated machine designed to dry everyone’s hats after it has rained? Did you ever think about that?
21/7 2018
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Let it blossom let it grow. Let it go let it go let it go.

21/7 2018
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Yoda-goat is tired

21/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, everyone.

22/7 2018
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Time to go exercise. I’ve been slipping back into unhealthy living the last 3 weeks to am onth. I constantly go back and forth from zero motivation and only wanting to eat everything to … well the same thing but forcing myself to exercise and eat better instead of doing what I want.
And hey, my favourite pizza place opens again tomorrow. So.. I just need to drop about 20 pounds today, and then I can have pizza. Good plan.
22/7 2018
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I don’t live a very balanced life, as the tightrope walker said to the tigers below.
22/7 2018
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goatlog

22/7 2018
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Thank you very much to Pamela Smotherman for this lovely card! The photo turned out poorly, but it’s a lovely card witih some lovely words inside. Thank you !

22/7 2018
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A meeting of the minds, somewhere other than our bodies
22/7 2018
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all eyez on goatz

22/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s a little wintery scene from 2014 with Herman to keep you cool.

9/7 2018
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Good goat times today. Warm and sunny. But with a strong wind that made it feel cooler. Good grazing with the goats. I opened the gate to the horse pasture, since it’s empty now. Let the goaties run around there for a while. Barely any grass, but there was a good deal of dry, fallen leaves from the trees. They enjoyed those. And I’m pretty sure it was the first time the little ones have been out in the dark, enchanted forest in the back. Just as I was trying to get everyone out of the horse pastuer again, a group of kids arrived and suddenly there was much running around and glee. And of course questions about whether Mio is pregnant, and no really is she pregnant, and where are the horses. I get that question a lot when the horses are on vacation. Eventually the humans moved on and I got the goats out on greener pastures. And now here we are.
9/7 2018
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Lovely day for it.

9/7 2018
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Rough morning, though. Demon voice saying “nothing matters, not even the goats. Just go back to bed and sleep for a couple of days”. Had to drag myself out. Glad I did, of course. But feels like I’m in a funk. Futility is irresistible. Running out the clock, tick tock. Time to dream soon.
9/7 2018
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Think goats

9/7 2018
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Signing off for today. I’m going to need a long dreamwalk. May the goats be with you.

9/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day, everyone.

109/7 2018
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Wow, I am in awe of my brain. Well, the part that does the dream stuff. The rest maybe not so much. But I had another string of amazing dreams. Several false wakeups. When you wake up in the dream and you don’t realise you’re dreaming because everything is so real. So very real. I had fun and adventure, sweet animals, naked boobies, libraries, ghosts, old friends, a dystopian kind of place that I wish I had stayed in longer because it seemed really interesting. Travel. I ran in a rain forest, got out into open fields, into marshlands and then I was running on a frozen ocean, it was like I was running across the whole globe, and then up a hill and I rain into the air and I thought I was going to fly into space. But then gravity grabbed me and pulled me down hard and slammed me into the ground and I woke up, only to later realise I was still dreaming. I had soft half-dreams shifting in and out of waking and dreams and I had 100% solid dreams that were completely real to the senses. Like a holodeck.
It’s all started to fade now. My favourite part is when waking up and everything is still right there in your head, so vivid and real and you can almost rewind the dreams and stumble on things that had already slipped. “Oh that happened? Wow”. And then if you have the time to just stay in bed and wait to fall asleep again and it all blurs into one and you’re awake in the dreams and you’re sleeping in reality and it all blends into one and you feel like you’ve ascended to a higher state of being. Or something. Haha. It’s like a high. No wonder I’m addicted to it. It’s just fascinating how the dreams are more real than my reality. If I want to know if I have really woken up or I’m still dreaming I just have to look around. If all I see is gray and drab and blindness and fuzzy details I can’t make out. Then I’m awake. If everything is beautiful and I can see colours and details, then I’m dreaming.
How can my brain do this, but it can’t let me say hello to a fellow human without being scared to death?!
10/7 2018
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Currently reading David Lynch’s Room To Dream. I tell you what, I could listen to David Lynch talk about his childhood all day and all night and then some more. Even trivial stuff sounds fascinating coming out of his mouth. Definitely one of the instances where I don’t feel bad for having to be stuck with audiobooks. Really good so far. Apart from the dog story. The dog story was the saddest thing since the Futurama episode, you know the one.
10/7 2018
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Decades later, Radiohead still does it for me

11/7 2018
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goatlog

11/7 2018
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Okay, but I just want to know if it’s medically advisable to put the jitterbug into your brain? It sounds kinda dicy, are you sure it’s safe?
11/7 2018
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Keep ’em close

11/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day, everyone.

11/7 2018
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This video got a pretty good response. I couldn’t help laughing at the end (and I still can’t, every time I watch it) when things get a little poopity scoopy. That look on Mia’s face. Well, when stuff goes in, stuff has to go out.
link: tomato and poop video
11/7 2018
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Cherry tomato faces from maestro Milo.

11/7 2018
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Dance like nobody is watching, because everyone unfollowed you over the constant goat posts.
11/7 2018
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All I ever wanted, all I ever needed.

11/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads from 2005.

12/7 2018
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Good goat times today. A Hot day. Hottest in a long while. But I like it Hoth. Took the goats out and we went into the space between the goat pen fence and the greens. Haven’t really been there before, so lots of fresh green stuff to pick at. We even went outside on the paved path for a little while. I don’t like taking them too far there, because people walk their dogs there a lot. But early in the morning there isn’t too much traffic. I was sitting watching the goats graze and a woman walked by on the path. She smiled at us and said “That’s true freedom!”. Amen to that. Maybe they oughta put the humans in the fences and let the goats stay out in the free.
Then the little pygmies had to be jerks and get all cute and run around and have fun. I got a good workout running after them in the blazing sun trying to film. Sky kept jumping up on the picnic table and skidding back and forth and then I’d pretend-run-away and she’d jump down and sprint ahead and then Milo would come sprinting after and they’d do those sideways leaps like they’re spinning up for EXTRA MAXIMUM SPEED. I don’t know where they get all that energy. Must be something in the leaves.
Then a big group of kids came by and they had much fun petting the goats and feeding them and asking lots of questions, including of course the pregnancy one. And what are their names and why do they have beards and can you ride them like horses and do they get any bigger and why won’t they eat these leaves and why are they butting heads and are they for sale since they’re tagged and on and on. I don’t know where human kids get the energy either, maybe they’d been eating the leaves too.
Great fun and beautiful day, though.
And then a zombie walk home in the heat. Straight to the fridge to sample every single bottle of cold liquid in there. Phew.
12/7 2018
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Why did the goat cross the road?
Because the grass was greener on the other side, obviously.
Hold for laughter.
Hold for applause.
Take a bow.
Twirl.
Post on Facebook.

12/7 2018
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I know it might look like I’m slacking off, but I took this picture in between being really busy doing hard work and doing super active stuff, I swear.

12/7 2018
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I saw Twin Peaks trending on twitter and I thought OMGSEASON4 and then it turns out that it’s just because TP was snubbed by the Emmies. Pfft. Whatevs. You can stuff your Emmy where the sun don’t shine. The Black Lodge.
Still witing for the 27 minute sweeping scene special edition. Twin Peaks 4 ever.
12/7 2018
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Hey kids, gimme that green.

12/7 2018
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Still can’t believe I was kicked out of Foo Fighters for being too sexy.
Wait, what year is this?
12/7 2018
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Hey, kids. We’re still hungry. Pro Tip: We’re always hungry.

12/7 2018
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Shutting down reality for today. Hope you weren’t planning on using it. Maybe you should consider signing up for the Extended Corporate Version of reality, featuring flexible user hours and an inflated sense of self importance. Use the promo code SOYLENTCORPORATIONSAREPEOPLE for a special discount and a personalized thank you note from [insert name here].
I’m going to go dreamwalk. Hope it’ll be a good show.
And hope everyone out there is doing well, or as well as can be done.
12/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday. Here’s the Fuzzprankster from 2016.

12/7 2018
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goatlog

12/7 2018
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The world dipped its toe in dark quicksand and now it’s slowly being pulled down like a dinosaur in a tar pit
12/7 2018
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No squealing, remember that it’s all in your head.
#HappyFridayThe13th
13/7 2018
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Clash of the titans

13/7 2018
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It’s 3:16 am do you know where your marbles are?
14/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mathilde from 2005.

14/7 2018
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Well, I got a new job as the ‘After’ model in a series of Don’t Try This At Home PSAs. Wish me luck.
14/7 2018
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I wonder if they’re planning a coup against grandma?

14/7 2018
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If it’s true that you only reap what you sow, then when are my gosh darned pizzas going to start coming up?
Also those magic beans I cashed my life savings to buy.
14/7 2018
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Seed some good, let it grow
14/7 2018
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Tuning out and walking from my machine. Into bed, for a long dreamwalk. Out of reality. I haven’t talked much about politics lately. I think it’s because I no longer have hope for the world. Used to be when I said that what I actually meant was that I had no hope for myself. Now I mean it literally. I mean, the world will keep going. As it does. But I don’t have hope for it to be good. Still, i’m glad I have my little bubble to hide in. And I hope you good people out in the real world will keep fighting the good fight and win against all odds and ride off into the sunset with the hopefuly music playing. You guys who are stuck in the real world will have to keep going too to keep up.
Anyway. The salmon of doubt assures me that everything will be fine upstream.
Maybe I should filter this post through the Make Sense Matrix… Nah, I’m sure it’s good.
14/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

15/7 2018
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I’m going to go exercise. NO DONT TRY TO STOP ME. Don’t… anyone..?
15/7 2018
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One from the exercise mix. And one of my alltime favourite songs. Where do we go from here the words are coming out all weird where are you now when i need you alone on an aeroplane falling asleep against the window paine my blood’ll thicken i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain cause i’d be scared that there’s nothing underneath who are my real friends have they all got the bends am i really sinking this low mmmmmmmmm
i wish it was the 60s i wish we could be happy i wish i wish i wish that something would happen aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa where do we go from here the planet is a gun boat in a sea of fear and where are you they brought in the cia the tanks and the whole marines to blow me away TO BLOW ME SKYYYYYYYYYYY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH

15/7 2018
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goatlog

15/7 2018
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If imperfection is beauty then the world sure is a hauntingly beautiful place.
15/7 2018
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MC Einar laying down those phat bleats. I mean.. squawks.

15/7 2018
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“Teehee, we’ll beat you up if you don’t give us treats”.
You don’t know the constant fear I live in.

15/7 2018
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If it’s hots I sits

15/7 2018
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I forget which one is me

15/7 2018
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That’s all for this week.