Can you imagine if the bad guy in every Hollywood movie had gotten 413 million dollars from their daddies without having to pay taxes and shit, they wouldn’t have had to blow up the things and kidnap the children and set off apocalypses. FFS Dr Evil wanted ONE million.
8/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. The Ping Pong twins from 2016.

8/10 2018
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Good goat times today. I had an appointment with the doctor in the morning for the ritual bloodletting. So I was a little later in Goat Town than usual. The kindergarteners were in the midst of their exercise running around the block when I got there. I guess it’s a regular thing that they’re going to keep doing. Poor kids. Thoughts and prayers. As I walked by the bunny cage there was a couple of boys clearly exercising hard by looking at the fluffies. One of the boys saw me and said “look, it’s the goat man”. Haha. I like that. I like being known as the goat man. Better than the human man…
Then I went around the corner and approached the goat pen. The goats were outside already. Eating hay while am other with a couple of kids were admiring them at the fence. I could see Mia, but now her face. So she couldn’t see me either. I managed to sneak up on her. She almost always lets out a big bleat when she sees me. So I wanted to get up real close. And when she turned her head and saw me she brayed with a mouth full of hay. Haha. It’s like an involuntary reaction when she sees me. “IT’S HIM”.
Got our time out in the greens and then some relaxing in the pen. There was a guy doing hammering and sawing and other noisy things in the stables and horse field. So the goats spent an appropriate amount of time staring at him as if he were the devil. Didn’t know the devil was such a handyman.
Now I am the tired.
8/10 2018
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New kids on the block chain.

8/10 2018
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Mia keeping a close look on the handyman person. I think you can just make out his hand behind her.

8/10 2018
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Got a flu shot today. i think it may be the first one ever. Because I’m in the risk category I get a letter every winter offering me a free flu shot. But I never take it. Because, as you know, I don’t even go to the doctor for a broken rib. But since I was there today anyway, and I’d just gotten the letter a couple of days ago. Might as well. So now I’m invulnerable for this winter, I assume. Wanna play with fire?
8/10 2018
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Oh by the way, I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but… changing your password is not going to stop scammers duplicating your profile. They don’t need to hack you to clone your profile. They just need to download your profile picture and create a new account with your name. You have not been hacked just because your account is cloned. You have not been hacked if you receive friend requests from cloned accounts.Even if you were to accept a friend request from a scammer, they would slill only have access to stuff that you share with your friends. I’m your friend, I can’t access your credit card or email inbox or anything like that.
So. Calm it with the chain letters. Don’t accept friend requests from people you’re already friends with. Change your password if you’re worried, but you don’t have to change it every time someone clones your profile or you get a chain mail.
Chain mail +3 thac0 hashtag dnd
8/10 2018
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Do not be alarmed, I come in peace. Assuming you have treats.

8/10 2018
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Happy Thanksgiving, Canadalanders. All the way from Denmarkistan.
8/10 2018
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Spending time in Goat Town always helps the mood.

8/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

8/10 2018
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Got a reply back from my doc. My B12 levels are good. So that’s great, that means I can keep taking tablets and I don’t have to get injections. I’m relieved about that. My blood sugar is up, though. Which is bad. I’m not surprised really, I have been living poorly and putting on weight because The World And Everything. I really have to get that under control.
Now I’m off to exercise, thoughts and prayers.
8/10 2018
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Where are you going, Mia? This is the end of the playground, you better not be running away…

8/10 2018
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I got out the wellness quilt for the first time last night. I’ve been using just the duvet cover up until now, but the cold is catching up.
But oh my. I forgot how utterly wondeful that thing feels. It’s so soft and warm and comfy. It’s like going to sleep in a mug of hot chocolate stuffed to the brim with marshmallows. Mmm. I think I’ll cancel my Russian mailorder bride, I don’t need anything else in my bed than that quilt.
Had good dreams too. The last one included Her. It was Christmas eve, it was night and raining. I went shopping in Favorit, the supermarket where I did all my shopping as a kid. Later on they changed their name and eventually shut down completely, but I went on so many trips to Favorit back in the day,
It turned into on of those dreams I have regularly. Where I walk around some store and I fill my basket with a constant stream of candy, chocolate, cake, toffee etc. Stupid brain. But She was there too. We said hello. Then I went home. And realised, maybe She was alone on Christmas too. So I wanted to go back to Favorit. To buy more candy, and maybe run into her again. And then I wake up. I ain’t even mad, that quilt makes it all worthwhile.
8/10 2018
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Three in a row #Winning

8/10 2018
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Don’t worry, it’s probably Fake News. It’s not like we’ll be around in 20 years to find out, right? And our kids? Well, imagine how exciting it will be for them to colonize Mars.
Don’t worry about the climate, just keep the corporations happy. Burn that coal! I’m sure the oxygen will trickle down to the masses along with all profits. Let all the walking dinosaurs eat you while they sink in the tar pits.
link: climate change article
8/10 2018
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goatlog

8/10 2018
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Pfttt, I did it before it was cool
link: snl party goats video
10/10 2018
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Happy Hump day everyone

10/10 2018
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Good goat times today. A cool morning, but not too cold. The temperatures have gone up a little, just a tad. Makes it nicer to head out in the morning. Maybe it’ll make the greens last a little longer? Most of it is already turning yellow. But there’s still good vegetation for the goats to get. We ended up behind the bike shed again. And Mio found out that there was a little path leading upwards to a whole new place. A parking lot connected to the residential area next to the playground. So the goats trimmed the trees there for a little, before I got them back. We moved on a little, but then Mio found another path upwards through the trees. This one lead to a green are next to an apartment block in that residential area. We’ve never been there before so there were some good, untouched greens there. But I got a little worried, since technically speaking we had now left the playground and we were kind of trespassing. There might be people with dogs or people who’d object to goats eating their greens. So I wanted to get the goats back down where we belonged. But grandma Mio was having none of that. She refused to budge. Nothing worked. Even the last resort I usually have when the goats don’t want to follow me. My can of pumpkin seeds. If I rattle that then they all follow me. Usually. But grandma wasn’t fooled this time. On my way there this morning I was listening to the Esther audiobook and they have a similar thing, a box of mints. When they rattle that then Esther always comes running. That’s usually how my pumpkin seed can works. Actually Mio reminds me a little of Esther. They are both very large ladies (although Esther is considerably bigger at the end of the day) and they’re both extremely smart and strong willed. And hilarious.
Well, I ended up having to push and pull Mio to get her back down. I felt really bad about doing that, but I was getting nervous having them up there. Mio was not happy, as you cna imagine. You might have seen that death glare she has sometimes. She stared at me like “how very dare you even exist, I can’t even stand looking at you but I have to so you can see how much you disgust me”. Aw granny . She was so upset that she didn’t even want to eat ALL THE GREENS THAT WERE RIGHT THERE IN THE SPOT WHERE SHE WAS NOW WHICH WAS NOT OUT OF BOUNDS. Like she was on hunger strike because of the unfairness. Of course hunger strikes don’t last long when eating is your favourite thing to do, so she got back to eating greens down where we were, along with the others. And she didn’t seem to hold grudge for long, she got treats and I got cuddles later on. Wait, maybe I should check my backpack to see if she dropped goat berries in there while I wasn’t looking…
Yeah, humans are so annoying.
10/10 2018
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This is the first path up through the trees. You can see the parking lot in the background. It wasn’t too hard getting the goats back down from here, probably because there were fewer greens. And cars are scary.

10/10 2018
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This is the second place up past the trees. Apparently this is where grandma decided to settle down for her golden years. Until the human interfered.

10/10 2018
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Hmm, maybe I should get an apartment there. It would be literally 30 seconds from out the door, past the treeline, down a slope and I’d be at the playground. Considerably easier than the 45 minute to an hour walk I have to do now in the morning.

10/10 2018
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Hey, Lisa. One of the Angora boys also has a (more or less) serious band.

You’re welcome, again. Everyone.

10/10 2018
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Grandma is not amused

10/10 2018
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Alright, I think we’re cool.

10/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Medium and Large from 2013.

11/10 2018
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Hey, look what I done diddily got in the mailaroony! Awesome! I am sure you all know Goats Gone Grazing Acres, unless you’re one of my friends who isn’t a goat fan in which case you have probably unfollowed my posts long ago.
Thank you so much! Jessica Pottebaum did you send this on your own accord or did someone else arrange for it? To whomst shall I direct my grattitudes? This will go well in my updated t-shirt collection. Beautiful!

11/10 2018
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Pulling wings off butterflies because you’re afraid they cause hurricanes
12/10 2018
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Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Kanye as president and Trump as rapper? Haha hah ha i’m so sorry please forgive me just *bangs on nuke*

12/10 2018
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Need to wash my eyes out with goats

12/10 2018
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Our Matrix is glitching. Maybe we should try turning it off and turning it back on again
12/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.

12/10 2018
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Remember when the kids were so small that jumping off the curb one inch off the ground seemed like a dangerous stunt?
link: Milo Sky table jump
12/10 2018
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Agh, facehugger

12/10 2018
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My sleep rhythm is a bit out of whack. So I’m going to go sink into wellness and walk the dreamwire.
Here is a picture of Mia the goat and unidentified alleged human while I’m gone.

12/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.

13/10 2018
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It’s the fall times

13/10 2018
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goatlog

13/10 2018
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Hey, how’d you get up there?!

13/10 2018
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I will not apologise for my love of Africa, you have no power over me!

14/10 2018
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I also like treats

14/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

14/10 2018
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Mia is holding back the monster truck by the sheer force of her goat stare.

14/10 2018
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I hope grandma has forgotten that whole ‘dragging her away from the greens’ incident.

14/10 2018
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Hey, what’s this?
It’s actually a broomstick that I brought to clean goat berries off the platforms (Since apparently pooping on the platforms is more fun that pooping in the grass. I can just imagine them with a smirk on their face thinking ‘wait till uncle sees this mess’). But turned out it almost works as a brush too. Mia seemed to enjoy getting a sweeping. I gotta get me a proper goat brush.

14/10 2018
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What the duck?

14/10 2018
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That’s all for this week.

Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje from 2008.

1/10 2018
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Good goat times today. I can tell the world is really getting to me when even going to see the goats seems like it’s not going to be worth it. I mean, I know it will be. But my brain still says ‘no, go to bed. Dreamworld is better’. Luckily I know that my brain is stupid. Haha, I win this round. Against myself. I’m too smart. Or too stupid. Or well, it worked out because I got to see goats. Cold morning. But a sunny day, so as the sun did its thing it got quite nice out. Took the gang out to the greens. We went behind the bicycle parking shed. I was surprised to see Mio head in there, because it’s quite dark. Normally she’s very cautious. But she headed into darkness. And since we’ve never been behind that thing before that meant untouched greens. Yum. It’s October now. The greens are less lush and plentiful. I miss the summer days already. Getting bellyful of greens and then sitting down in the shade on a blazing hot day. Sigh. But at least the company is still good. And hopefully the greens will last a little while yet, even if it’s more work getting the belly full.
And then suddenly the sound of an acoustic guitar and kids running around and screaming in the soccer/basketball rink. Poor kids, they were made to run around the block again. I thought last time was like a unique Exercise Day. I remember when I was a kid there was ONE day per year where the whole school had to go out for a long run all day. A real fun day for a fat kid, I tells ya. Anyway, apparently these kindergarteners are being made to exercise REGULARLY. Thoughts and prayers. What is the world coming too.
There was one girl who was so fast that she left all the adults behind. One adult going “i’m just going to catch up with her” to another. And then adding “no, that’s not going to happen…”. She was fast! And of course several kids stopping to admire the goats, horses and bunnies. Which is totally a tactic I would have used if I had been one of the kids. “No yeah, I’m totally running! But look at the little bunny *draws breath* so cute! *gasps for air* little… *heeeave* bunny..”.
And then we went back to the goat pen to relax, because watching people exercise is exhausting. A mother with a little kid came over and asked for help. They accidentally thrown their ball into the horse field. So I had to go retrieve it. And I found that the outside hasp on the horse door was gone. So I couldn’t properly close the door. Which almost led to Shadow escaping. And then I found a bucket to prop up against the door to keep it shut. And Shadow got the lid off it and started eating whatever was inside. Some kind of horse food I guess. So I had to remove that and find something else to hold the door closed. And then walk across the field and get the ball and give it to the people and wow I need to sit down for a minute.
I ended the day with super sweet Mio time. Sitting together in a ray of sunshine, holding her head in my arms as she dozed off. Perfect wonderful sweetness.
1/10 2018
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I do NOT have a Messiah complex.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to feed my disciples.
I mean, I have to give treats to my goats. That’s what I meant to say.
(I had a picture where I had my arms completely outstretched like a Messiah statue, but it was framed all wrong and unusable. But I decided to keep the joke anyway, so just.. imagine. dragons. Or something.)

1/10 2018
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Overheard in the supermarket today:
Mother: “Where is your pacifier?”
Kid sitting in shopping kart, with a big smile: “IT’S GONE!”
Mother, patiently: “Where did you put it?”
Kid, happily: “IT’S GONE!”
1/10 2018
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The goats are not what they seem.
Oh wait, yes they are. Totes awesome, just like they seem.
It’s not a good day if you don’t have goat hair all over you.

1/10 2018
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Everyone has a picture folder called “Too fat to post”, right?
1/10 2018
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Because they’re worth it

1/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.

2/10 2018
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I am always a little surprised when Mio makes it up on the platform, even if it’s not very high.

2/10 2018
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FINALLY managed to find a place to buy a DRM free copy of Esther the Wonder Pig’s audiobook. Thankfully Audible doesn’t have a complete stranglehold on the market after all. Looking forward to getting to hear it, at last. And there’s a new Murakami (HAruki, not Keiko) book coming in a week or so. Good booktimes.
Look forward to Mia’s autobiography, in stores soon. She narrated it herself, it’s a lot of bleats.
3/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

3/10 2018
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Good goat times today. Out early, while it was still dark. A little too early, a little too dark. But I was anxious to get away from the outworld and get into the goatworld. Goating around in the greens. Cold morning, but as the sun took hold it got better. When we got out of the wind and sat in the goat house, in the ray of sunshine, it felt almost summery.
Funniest part of the day was when the kids discovered that they can still fit through the gap by the gate to the horse field. I remember they slipped through there easily a few months ago. Now they had to squuueze, like trying to get the last toothpaste out of the tube. But they got through. Barely any grass in there, but they started picking fallen leaves. I lured them out with treats, but then they went right back in. Sheesh. So goaty. It doesn’t matter if the grass is actually greener on the side you’re on, if there’s a place they’re not supposed to go then they want to go there. I let them stay a little and then lured them out again. And promptly started walking to get away from that gate. The goats usually follow me if I start walking away at high speed. Group mentality kicks in. Except this time Mio didn’t follow us. She just stood there at the gate and looked into the horse field. Aww grandma. No way you’re fitting through that gap! Mia had tried following the kids in there but she just got her head through the gap and I had to help her get it back out. No way the big ladies can get through there. I had to go back and give grandma a gentle push on the rear to get her going. I don’t know why she’d want to go in there, she doesn’t appreciate the company of the horses! It’s like with me and humans. Better to keep a safe distance.
3/10 2018
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Lovely day for it. As long as you’re wearing a jacket, or growing some fur.

3/10 2018
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I think grandma went on vacation without us

3/10 2018
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“Brett Bart Kavanaugh was the Judge that told the 17 year old immigrant girl that was raped that she couldn’t have an abortion until she really really thought about it maturely bc what you do at 17 follows you forever”
Brettbart, you’re going to have to go to Oz to get a heart. Maybe bring back a brain for Trump and some fucking spine for the entire Republican party.
Go on, keep the entitled old rich white trustfund babies in power to prevent abortion, meanwhile your fetuses will be stuffed with mercury. Maybe your kids will survive long enough to be shot down in the school yards. At least they won’t be shot in the face while hibernating like bears and their teeth won’t be sold like ivory. Hope you don’t choke on the silver spoons in your mouths.
3/10 2018
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The What-The-Fuck-Duck has had it up to here

3/10 2018
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Anyway, gotta goat.

3/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads and Magnethe from 2007. I opened my flashback folder and randomly scrolled ahead and blindly clicked on a file. And this came up. As some of you may remember, it’s part of a little series of photos of them that was always one of my favourites. They looked so beautiful together in those photos.

4/10 2018
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When you look over and the goat clearly heard you getting the treatbag out

4/10 2018
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I don’t know, that presidential alert thing seems to be taking things a little far. I mean, sure I’d want to be warned if he was in my neighbourhood too but come on..
4/10 2018
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Grandma’s considering her battle plan. Conquer the greens.

4/10 2018
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Jon Favreau’s Star Wars show is The Mandalorian. Cool, I guess. I like Boba Fett as much as everyone else. Never really been too into the Extended Universe Mandalorians, though. I kinda preferred the stuff that the Original Trilogy built in my head, the early Boba stories and rumours. But hopefully it will be good. What I really want is a TV show set on Tatooine. At the height of Jabba’s powers. Tusken Raiders, Jawas in sandcrawlers, a crazy old jedi in the desert. Krayt Dragons, bounty hunters, Mos Eisley. Moisture farmers. That’s what I want. You could make a really great scifi Western show out of that stuff. The Kenobi novel had good stuff like that. Basically Cowboys in the dessert with aliens. What’s not to love? Plus they could cast me as Jabba the hutt, I swear I’d work hard to get in shape for the role.
Anyway, I’m not a nerd YOU’RE a nerd
4/10 2018
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Shadow of the goat

4/10 2018
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goatlog

4/10 2018
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Sky is such a pretty girl. And I love how she acts all coy and sweet but if you (Milo, or even the big ladies) mess with her she gets fierce.

4/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday.

5/10 2018
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Gotta get out of my head
5/10 2018
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Going to bed. Can’t be me right now. We’ll try again tomorrow. Gotta light?

5/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012.

6/10 2018
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Fell into a black hole yesterday. At least I had good dreams. Tired of this world. Wouldn’t it be nice if life was Minecraft and you could just start up a new world with a new seed. Procedurally generated reality.
6/10 2018
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Dark mornings

6/10 2018
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*pounds fists on nuke to make it go off*
see you in the funny pages
6/10 2018
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I’m getting too old for it to be this early

6/10 2018
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Think goat thoughts

6/10 2018
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Aw, Ben Daglish passed away. He was one of the really great music composers in the old 8bit days. It’s funny, I never appreciated the Commodore 64 music as much when I had a C64 as I do now. I mean, I appreciated it. But I love it even more nowadays. And with retro becoming so popular, I’ve gotten to see and hear more of the people behind the music. Ben seemed like a really cool and engaging person, really interesting to listen to. And the music, always the music. No rest till 8bit..
He was only 52. Fuck cancer.

7/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy funday everyone.

7/10 2018
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May god have mercy on your souls. The rich get richer, the poor get raped, shot, doubted and distrusted, fucked and mocked, poisoned and polluted and diseased, deceived and divided, thrown away like the aborted fetuses of their mistresses.
Abortion and guns are just the new church of the rich old white man’s way of oppressing and controlling you. Laughing at you from their money bins. Sing for absolutely nothing.

7/10 2018
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Think goat thoughts

7/10 2018
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goat heart

7/10 2018
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If I could get the littles ones to stack maybe they’d be the same height as Mia…

7/10 2018
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updated his profile picture.

7/10 2018
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That’s all for this week.