Today will be a good day. Here’s Large and Medium from 2013. With a little bonus Funday.

1/7 2018
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Good goat times today. Another lovely summer day. Cool in the shade in the morning, but hotter and hotter as the sun shone on. Quiet day today. A few visitors, but nothing exciting. The goats enjoyed their greens, while I hallucinated about iced creams. And then relaxing in the pen. I spent a good long time sitting up against my favourite rock (it’s shaped perfectly for relieving back pain) with Sky in my lap, chewing her cud. She had her legs splaid out like one of Keiko’s stripper poses. I mean… Keiko’s cat’s stripper poses. Sorry.
Summer goat life.
2/7 2018
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Lovely day for it.

2/7 2018
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I finally found out where Shadow is. Apparently he had some asthma problems (I have heard him cough from time to time) and he’s moved to Alice’s place to recover. I am not sure if he’s going to come back and live at the playground or if he’s gone for good. But that’s too bad. He’s a beautiful horse. And his little illicit affair with Mia was amusing. Hope we’ll see him again.
We’ll be completely horseless soon, though. Temporarily. The rest of the horses are going off for summer vacation, like last year. It’ll be a little empty without them, but hopefully they’ll have a nice vacation.
I think it’s Sille saying hi to the camera here. But I have a hard time telling her apart from Luna sometimes. Black Beauty is easier to identify in the lineup. Look, I’m not stereotyping. But she is black.

2/7 2018
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Another hard day’s work. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that the offica christmas party is going to be lit af

2/7 2018
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Shutting down for today. Time to go dream. If it wasn’t for the goats then I don’t know why I’d spend time in the real world anymore. I mean, you guys are nice too. But I suspect you are all figments of my imagination which means I could probably import you into the dreamscape and you’d keep your stats and backstories and equipment. Just hope you’ll all fit onto a single floppy disc. If you are not currently hearing the sounds of an Amiga floppy drive crunching in your head then you’re doing it wrong.
Anyway, you should all have received you’re Artificial Lasse Intelligence System by now if you’ve signed up for the premium club, so engage the flux incapacitator and turn the crank until the ALIS starts mumbling incoherently. Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
2/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day, everyone.

3/7 2018
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I just found out that my favourite pizza place is closed for the next 3 weeks due to vacation.
Requesting thoughts and prayers for me during this difficult time.
I guess… sniffle… now would be a good time… snifflle…. to diet . Sob.
3/7 2018
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If loving cookies makes you a monster, aren’t… aren’t we all monsters then?
I mean, especially the nazis and homophobes and rapists and murderers.
But also all of us?
3/7 2018
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Lovely day for it.

3/7 2018
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Hey, we’re the Real Cool Crew. You wanna hang with us? You better be Real Cool Too.

4/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, everyone.
Gotta love that curvy gal.

4/7 2018
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Happy 4th of July to the Americans out there. I love you, America. I’m only critical of you because I care. And because I’m a grumpy old #SocialMediaGrandpa. Keep on fighting for a better future.

4/7 2018
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When I was a kid, the world was less connected. America was a magic, far off place. Seperated by time and space. Once a week MTV Europe would play the US top 10, or was it 20? With bands that they never played during the rest of the week. And TV shows would make it here 6 month to a year later, if at all. All those years waiting, hoping for new Star Wars movies. Without internet I had no idea what was going on in America, so I just hoped that a new Star Wars movie would some day appear out of the mists. And all the bands would talk about breaking America. There was the World Cup, when was that? 1994? Alexi Lalas. For some reason I remember him from the US team. Probably because of the crazy hair and beard. The Columbine shooting, one of the first times I can remember Danish TV breaking live to cover something from another country. Coming to school one early morning with everyone talking about Iraq. A little too you to understand what it meant, were we going to have a world war like the ones we heard about in history class?
America was always the cool place, making history, populated by cool rockstars and cool actors. So far away, but always looming large.

4/7 2018
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I don’t think I’ve ever banned anyone from Mia’s page. I am tempted right now, haha. Why on florx green Earth would you argue politics on an animal page? And in an assholey way. Funny thing is, I think we may at least somewhat agree on the politics. But being super confrontational and pissy on page that refuses to be political and controversial… oh the humanity.
I just hope I don’t wake up tomorrow to a bunch of stupid comments to make me regret not banning him. Oy.
People. Can’t live with them. Pass me the pizza.
Oh wait. There is no pizza. There’s only Zuul.
4/7 2018
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Alright.
Signing out for today. Don’t stay up too late, America. You’re getting old and you need to be in bed by a proper hour. Are you taking your vitamins? And have you ccnsidered a detox? I feel like… you might have a lot of toxic stuff to cleanse out. You know? Am I being too subtle?
4/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2016.

5/7 2018
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Good goat times today. Glad I made it out. It was one of those mornings when the demon who lives in the back of hte cupboard on the third floor of my brain was saying “You don’t need to get up. The world sucks, you’re better off staying in bed all day. I guarantee you’ll dream of wonderful things”. You know, he has a fair point. Luckily there was also the bleating voice that said “Yeah you feel like shit now, but if you drag yourself to the goats it will be a much better day for it”. And of course, it was. A little bit cooler than usual. A light drizzle in the morning. It didn’t feel like rain, it felt like someone was spraying mist out everywhere. But since it’s still warm it wasn’t so bad. We got some sun later on, but it was mostly grey. And the goats were great of course. Greeted by Mia’s hollering when she spotted me coming. I let them out to the greens and they went at it with gusto. We had a few visitors. There was a father with a boy out by the horse field. No horses, they’ve gone on vacation. They had some long grass lying on the picnic table and the goats went straight for it. I was going to stop them because it’s not very polite to eat other people’s grass without permission. But then the father said “no, it’s ok” and I let them at it. They enjoyed it. The kid was a little puzzled. “They ate all our grass. Why did they eat all our grass?”. Because they’re goats, kid. I imagine they’d brought the grass for the horses. But it was good enough for the goats. There were a couple of girls running around too. Everytime the rooster would crow (do crows roost? Anyway..) the girls would crow right back at him, loudly. And then they’d have a laughing fit as if they’d just told the world’s greatest joke. It’s good to be easily amused.
Like me, when Sky and Milo were butting heads and they knocked over my tripod and scared themselves so they ran for cover together, having forgotten their differences in the face of utter terror. They have started clashing together more. It happens 2-3-4 times every time I’m there now. Rearing up and butting heads, but so softly that you don’t even hear their little horns clacking. And then they’re immediately back to being two sweet peas in a pod. But yeah, even the kids have to settle hierarchy scores.
5/7 2018
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While the crowing girls found the rooster extremely entertaining, the goats were less enthusiastic. It’s funny how the clucking sometimes freaks them out.
The rooster is called Einar, by the way. At least a visitor called him that. It’s not unusual for visiting kids to just randomly name the animals with their own made-up names. But that guy was a grownup, so he probably didn’t just make it up.

5/7 2018
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Hey, look who’s back on the blue bucket.

5/7 2018
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When humans got you down, let goats make it better

5/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mandela from 2006.

6/7 2018
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I had several amazing dreams last night. There was one in which I was hired to write a Star Wars spinoff. Wish I could remember what the plot was. There was another crazy sci-fi thing that was kind of mindblowing, but I cannot remember the details clearly enough to make it anywhere near make sense. The best dream though had me waking up with tears in my eyes, from happiness and from sadness that it was over and not real. Too personal to really talk about, though. So yeah. No details about anything, haha! I actually didn’t sleep that well because I kept waking up with stomach problems. But waking up in the middle of dreams makes them stand out so vividly. And there was just tons of crazy stuff going on in my mind last night. Dreams are amazing.
Shoutout to Justin Timberlake for reasons I can’t explain.
6/7 2018
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Here’s a little behind-the-scenes footage, exclusive bonus content to the valued subsribers. Don’t forget to smash that windscreen and ring them bells to get notified when we go live on the streams.
link: opening gate video
6/7 2018
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Hey, who done sent me this super Superorganism shirt?! Thank you!
EDIT: Thank you Mary Kiefel ! Rock on!

6/7 2018
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Experiencing some hardware problems that may get in the way of timely social media interaction. I really need a new computer. But that would mean upgrading to Windows 10… and I just can’t with that. It’s so bad. The idea that I would have to use Windows 10 as my main OS is worse than [insert bad thing}.
7/7 2018
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Wait, wait, wait. Is catholicism about being addicted to cats? Catholics? Cat holics?
7/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Bruce and Clark from 2015.

7/7 2018
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Annoying technical problems and stupid world and pizza place closed grumble grumble. Just counting down until it’s acceptable to run to the dreams.
Eat my sporx, world!
7/7 2018
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Think goaty thoughts

7/7 2018
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Alright, that’s it.Done with the real world for today. I’m going to go see what my brain is showing tonight. See you tomorrow if I get out of bed. Never tell me the odds.
7/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

8/7 2018
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Okay, gotta find my way back to the proper headpsace. The tech problems and the world at large has gotten my mind askew on the treddle. Good start today, though. Actually a drawer broke, that wasn’t good. But it force me to go through some stuff and now I have two bags of junk to throw out. My Simplify project has been kind of pause for a while because I just haven’t mentally been in a good enough place. So it was nice to get back on track and find stuff I don’t need. I have also been learning about fasting. I tried it out on Friday and it went really well. It’s interesting. Don’t worry, I’m not doing anything stupid. Doing proper scientific research. Intermittent fasting can actually have a ton of benefits. So that’s something. And time keeps on ticking, one foot in front of the other because you can’t stop won’t stop.
Hope everyone out there is doing okay.
8/7 2018
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The goats quite like this little back alley. In between the horse pasture and the chicken coop. There isn’t really a lot of grass there, but I guess the grass there is, is good stuff. I think maybe it’s because the lawnmower people don’t go in here much. So even though there isn’t a lot, it’s good quality grass that’s been allowed to grow. Once we find our way in here we usually stay for quite a while as the goats go back and forth along the fences eating the grass.

8/7 2018
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goatlog

8/7 2018
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Who’s going to get the pasta?
Spoiler alert, the goat always gets it.

8/7 2018
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Colourly

8/7 2018
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.
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That’s all for this week..

Today will be a good day. Have a Mads Monday. Here he is from 2004. Fourteen years ago, almost to the date.

25/6 2018
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Good goat times today. Everyone happy and healthy. That’s what we wanna see. Milo doesn’t seem to be suffering any lasting effects from his little mishap. And it’s a gorgeous day. We’re back to hot summer. As the day wore on it turnt to burning hot. I’ve missed that. Maybe was a hotstreak and then when June and actual summer came it got a bit colder. Let’s hope summer turns to max now. Blast it. All phasers set to sunburn.
I was a little later than usual today so the goats were already out when I got there. Cue loudmouth Milo bleating his little heart out when he saw me coming. He’s a vocal boy. Not shy about expressing his opinions. He’s probably got a weekly op-ed column in the local newspaper under a secret pen name that I don’t know about. Hear ye hear ye.
Anyway, good grazing out in the sun. And then relaxing in the pen. Perfect goating. I spent a good amount of time sitting up against one of the rocks (gotta tell you about that rock, man) with Milo and Mia harrassing me for treats. They are the worst beggars. They love treats. Mio loves treats too of course, but she’s lazy. Once I stop giving out treats she pokes me a little and then goes “Eh whatever, I’ll be under the house”. Sky loves treats too, but she’s a little calmer and more polite. Although she does have one trick that Milo doesn’t do. Pawing me with her hoof. Which is especially funny when she’s standing on my back and she starts knocking on my head. Sorry, kiddo. Nobody’s home in there. But Mia and Milo do not give up just because I stop giving out treats. They just keep harrassing. Trying to steal treats from my pocket, Mia smooching me, Milo charming me with his little manbeard. The amount of times he’s managed to drag the treatbag right out of my pocket… So I can sit there for a long, long time just relaxing while big goat and little goat do their damndest to get treats out of me. And of course sooner or later I cave and give them something which means they just keep doing it. Round and round we goes. But hey, I’m no better myself. It’s not like I stop harrassing the pizza guy until he’s out the door.
25/6 2018
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Lovely day for it.

25/6 2018
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Had a foot therapy session this morning. My foot therapist is a very nice guy, it’s always a good time. I had to sign one of those new data law form thingies. That’s the first time I’ve had to sign a physical piece of paper about it. All the others have been emails. I’m only saddened that there were no physical cookies. That is a cookie policy that I cannot and will not accept.
25/6 2018
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Welcome back, summer.

25/6 2018
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Another hard day’s work. Should probably ask for a raise.

25/6 2018
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*makes 8-bit sounds and blinks on/off*
25/6 2018
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TodaY will be a good day. HappY Yogi daY, everYone.

26/6 2018
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I love that moment when dreaming and you become aware that you’re occupying two spaces, one in reality and one in fantasy. And the fantasy is the one that feels real. Physically and mentally real and solid. Fantasy come alive. Holding something in your hand that you know doesn’t exist, but you can feel it and manipulate it. You are part of the magic.
26/6 2018
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I grew up with the Little House books too. I don’t see how removing Laura Ingalls name from an award censors those books? You can still go get them at the library and read them to your kids, can’t you? Taking down a statue or renaming an award doesn’t erase history. The history is still there. Just maybe racism isn’t something to be celebrated and idolised. That’s not the lesson you want your kids to learn from history, is it? Maybe you can teach them WHY the statues are taken down and WHY people frown on some of sweet, little Laura’s stories.
I don’t know. I also grew up watching the Cosby show. I loved The Little House On The Prairie and I loved the Cosby Show. I have a hard time computing how there are people who are outraged that the Ingalls name be removed from an award but they also think that the Cosby show should be eradicated from all those endless tv rerun backwater channels. Erase the Cosby rapist but honour the “only good Indian is a dead Indian” settlers. Humans are weird.
Like for example how twitter is aflame over how boring Denmark’s world cup team was in the 0-0 against France. But meanwhile everyone loves Iceland’s team. Iceland and Denmark are basically the same. Well-organised, physically strong, defensive Nordic teams. But Iceland is a tiny country so everyone loves their ‘spirit’. They seeme to forget that relatively speaking Denmark is actually also a really small country. The fact that we are through to the next round is a pretty good accompishment, even if we have been boring and poopityscoop.
26/6 2018
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This is a very controversial goat. Please be advised that i’m monitoring the comments and will heavyhandidly censor any opinions that do not comply with our community standard guidelines.

26/6 2018
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It’s not every day I get 60ish likes from people I don’t know. My most liked tweet since the Bruce Campbell one. I’m just going to sit here and wait for the check.
link: tweet
26/6 2018
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Summerleaf

26/6 2018
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goatlog

26/6 2018
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Oooh crud. Mind blown.
So I was listening to Superorganism’s session on KEXP. And I loved it and figured maybe I’d post a song on the Facebox. So I youtubesearched them and I found in the results there was a video, this video, which had the “already visited” colouring. And I thought to myself, I thought… why and how come have I visited this video before when I only just now this night found out who Superorganism is… and then I looked at it. And the reason I have visited this video before is.. it appeared in the analytics of one of MY videos. They used a clip from one of my goat videos. Properly credited and linking back to MY video. That’s nuts that is. Hahaha. I watched this video like 6 months ago because they used a clip from one of my goat videos and then I forgot about it and then tonight etcetera, you get the picture. Wow. Anyway, I just found out that I like this band and then I found out that I’d already known about them because they’d used a clip from one of my videos and wait now i’m repeating myself. It’s all good.
@
Superorganism

27/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.
27/6 2018
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Also, happy rump day.

27/6 2018
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‘s no surprise that people who want to keep the status quo would prefer a more civil discourse. Kind of like how obsctruction is a great tactic if you have something to gain from it, but if it’s being used against you then it’s abhorrent.
Also iced cream is a crime against nature, because I’m out again.
27/6 2018
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Thankfully, goats

27/6 2018
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Thinking of opening a taco bar on Takodana.
27/6 2018
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Well, no goats to be seen here.

27/6 2018
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Summer in the city

27/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

28/6 2018
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#NicerBoats
28/6 2018
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Good goat times today. And a gorgeous day. A scorcher. Upwards of 30C/86F. Not something you see every day in Denmark. Perfect weather for sitting very still in the shade and watching the goats graze. Unfortunately goats are jerks and don’t stay in one spot, so I had to keep getting up to follow them around. I’m pretty sure potted plants don’t move around much, just saying.
Lovely, lovely time, though. A pretty quiet day in the sun. A couple of visitors. There was a father with two kids. One kid was a little afraid of the goats and wanted to be lifted up on the picnic table for safety. Yeah, we all know the goats can’t get up there! The kid brightened up when one of the lil pygmy goaties sneezed. “IT FARTED!!!” exclaimed the human kid excitedly. Kid, let me introduce you to the horses. You’re gonna like them.
This is the kind of day I was dreaming of all through the dreary cold of winter. Let’s all vow to do our part in helping global warming warm the globe, globally. Wow, warming, Wow.
28/6 2018
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Gorgeous day for it

28/6 2018
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Here’s the father with the two kids. Turns out the little goats are less intimidating than the tyrannosaurus sized ones.

28/6 2018
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Gotta stay hydrated when it’s this hot out

28/6 2018
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Had my callback at the doctor today. Low on B12 vitamins. So I need to start taking tablets for that. More pills. I’m going to need an extra pillbox.
So I was a little late at the goats again. Little bleaters greeting me loudly. Just like last time, Mia was inside when I got there. Then she hears the litlte ones bleating at me and she starts that hysterical, loud bleating. She knew something was up because the little ones were bleating. She was bleating inside for a while before she came running out. Silly goat.
28/6 2018
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Something for your G.O.A.T.

28/6 2018
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Wait, do we have space boats? For the Space marine force? #NicerBoats
28/6 2018
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As the world lies dying, the ants are dancing on their hills. Here comes the anteater to save us.
28/6 2018
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I know these might be worrying times for Harley Davidson employees. But don’t worry. You can always move to China and get a job at that telecom Trump promised to back.
28/6 2018
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Another hard day’s work. Don’t judge me, Mia!

28/6 2018
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We regret to inform you that the Local Lasse Broadcasting System is currently offline due to the sun going supernova. If this has caused you any inconvenience, please consider applying suntan lotion to the effected areas. A refund on your subscription may be offered if you submit the proper forms and get a signature from your local sun god/ess. We will require proof of purchase and please allow 3-57452 days or from here to eternity. In the meantime please enjoy this selection of Nirvana covers in the style of elevator muzak. Now going down… *changes profile picture to Slimer from Ghostbusters*
28/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

29/6 2018
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I love those 30 minute tech calls to get a PDF printed.
Good thing they pay in pizza.
29/6 2018
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Calm, blue skies. All is calm.
29/6 2018
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Pay no mind, just us goats here

29/6 2018
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Dang, where’d I put Busta Rhymes? He’s always in the last place you look.
29/6 2018
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The Artificial Intelligence ate my iced creams. WHAT HAVE WE BECOMEEEE
30/6 2018
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goatlog

30/6 2018
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Please stop calling me ‘the elephant in the room’. I’m right here. I’m blind, not deaf. I CAN HEAR YOU.
Sorry, just talking to myself again.
30/6 2018
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I can’t believe DJ managed to get Supreme Leader Snoke to call him back from his mobile command base.
Because. Stuttering John? Trump? Airforce One? DJ stuttered. Snoke. Get it? Look, it’s not my fault if you don’t know Star Wars. I stand by this joke. Part of my killer comedy routine that I’ll be performing in Canto Bight next Blernsday. Tickets available now.
30/6 2018
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Fine, have a goat.

30/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje, Nougat and 3B in the back. Babies all the way back from 2006.

30/6 2018
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By special request from Keiko, here’s a front view of 3B. The little nugget.

30/6 2018
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And here’s a better face view of 3B. His face colours were… appropriate. Him and his 2 siblings were the first time I experienced multiple goat kids. Three little ones running around. Quite a party.

30/6 2018
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I guess today is officially 3B day now. Here are some cute bleats from when he was a little older.

30/6 2018
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here we stand and here we fight

30/6 2018
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“not very capable of bbeing a human” shut up brain you dont know me
30/6 2018
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Here’s a little premium bonus content. Don’t forget to like that smash comment and subscribe to the face app hashtag socialistmedia
link: Milo Sky video
30/6 2018
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That’s it for today. I’m all humanned out. My desire to stay in the real world usually drains away as the hours tick by. And it goes faster and faster. I’m running out of hope. The train is catching up. Other metaphors.
Heading off to the dreamscape to find some magic. If you’re planning to join then bring some croissants so we can feed them to the rainbow piranhas.
30/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, everyone.

1/7 2018
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(voting closed)
Hey Canadian friends especially, but anyone is welcome to participate. I have two pictures in comments, which one do you like best? Are the flags too much? Other comments? Is it dumb? Have we as a society accepted that money and power are, no let’s stick to the goats. Mia or Mio version?
1/7 2018
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Starting to come to terms with the fact that it’s not butter.
1/7 2018
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Happy Canada Day to my Canadian friends.
Speaking of Canadian friends, did I ever post this here on my own timeline? I can’t remember if I did. Good day for it today anyway. I contributed to Esther the Wonder Pig’s fundraiser and got this lovely card as a thank you. I really hope that big, old scanner will help them find out if there are any problems with Esther. I get worried when they talk about how she isn’t moving around as much anymore. It must be hard for them too. Esther is a treasure, hopefully she’ll have many good years still to come. And the surplus for the fundraiser is going to a fund that can help other sanctuaries as well, which shows that they’re just looking out for themselves. Looking out for others too. I don’t think that’s necessarily easy when you’re running a place of your own with fiscal responsibilities. Shows how big their hearts are.
So anway, my head is not right but I’m trying to knock it into a better space.

1/7 2018
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An app that blasts Weezer’s cover of Africa every time politicians are talking on the telly.
Patent pending.
1/7 2018
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It’s all goat

1/7 2018
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No, I have no idea why people are always asking if she’s pregnant.

1/7 2018
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The sun shines on Mia

1/7 2018
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Time for the big feetsball game. Croatia vs Denmark, an epic game to gain qualification for the round that’s after this round. #CROvsDEN. . I remain in the Pervs Den, even though Peru went out.
It’s 1-1 after 5 minutes, don’t tell me the soccerball is boring.
1/7 2018
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…and 40 minutes later still 1-1. Haha. Croatia best. I think it’s safe to say Denmark is the worst team that went through to the second round. But hey, we still have a chance. Ready for the second half. I hope we make it to penality shootouts, that’s always exciting. Especially if you win (Sorry David )
#PervsDen
1/7 2018
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“Baron Stigmund
stiggib3
8h8 hours ago
My daugjter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldnt know and he’d carry on playing with its corpse”
,
oh god I can’t unread this, and now neither can you. Move over, lemmings. I need to use the cliff.
1/7 2018
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Well, I think I have talked too much about football today. No more World Cup talk. In fact, let’s never speak of it again.
1/7 2018
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There is only goat

1/7 2018
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.
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That’s all for this week.