A Guide To The Universe
June 24th, 2018Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark and some guy from 2014.
18/6 2018
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Good goat times today. Had to stop by the doctor first for a routine checkup. By the time I got to the goats the sun was out and things were starting to warm up. It’s gotten colder, though. No doubt. And we got a little rain today as well. Maybe we just had our real summer in May and now it’s Fall. Haha. Hah. Give me the heat back.
But the goating was good. Everyone enjoying their greens. Some attention at the kindergarten fence and a few visitors. A woman came and asked me if it was possible to go riding on the horses. I told her I couldn’t help with that and directed her to the clubetheque. They manage that stuff. But I could help her with answering some goat questions, and she had a little girl who was very happy to pick grass for the goats. She called Mia “Mrs” and then she told her mother (I presume it was her mother) that she’d called the goat Mrs and her mother said “well, I guess maybe she’s married to another goat, maybe they had a goat wedding” to which the girl responded “EWWWWW. they would have had to kiss then!”. Ah haha. Mia is still single as far as I know. Speaking of.. I haven’t seen Shadow in a week or so. His stall is all cleaned up and empty too. I’ll have to ask about it. I hope he’s okay. Maybe he’s gone out for vacation.
Remind me to tell you the funny trashcan anecdote later. I have to eat here now.
18/6 2018
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This is the trash can I talked about. I’m not sure it’s a trash can. Oil drum? I don’t know. Point is, it’s hollow. And the reason why there are four goats staring at it like it’s the devil’s sandals? Because one of the kids (not sure which one it was) decided to explore INSIDE. And immediately the clackity clack of hits hooves against the metal scared it and the can/drum started rolling around and it got even louder and ZOOOOM that kid ran out and far away and the three others followed. I didn’t know if I should laugh or feel bad for the poor kid. But since no one got hurt and it was all very goofy, maybe just a slight chuckle? I think it may have been Milo who went in, because as you can see in the picture, even when everyone had calmed down and came back to look at the trash can, he hung back the most. Like he did not want to get back near that thing. He was also making little bleats. He does that sometimes when things don’t go his way. Like if he wants treats from me but I’m not giving any out. Or if one of the big ladies have given him a push to remind him he’s not in charge. Then he walks around making little bleats. Not loud complaints, it’s more like he’s mumbling to himself. “No treats? I’ll show you. I’ll steal those treats. I’ll show you no treats. I need treats I want treats…”. Or “Push me around will you? I’ll show you. I’ll eat all the greens and grow big and then you’ll be the one pushed around. i’ll show you all. Grumble grumble”. He’s so cute. He’s also by far the best pickpocketer now. A constant threat. Anyway, that was alot of typing for a picture caption.
18/6 2018
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Entertaining the kindergarteners.
18/6 2018
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Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me
18/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day.
19/6 2018
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Wonder if the new Space Force will be taking babies away from aliens making first contact with Earth.
19/6 2018
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My Facebox is seriously malfunctioning. I can’t see cover photos on pages, I can’t post on Mia’s page, I can’t check notifications on my page, I can’t share posts, I can’t open my messenger. I suppose I should go outside and look at the real world, but instead I could sit here and complain…
19/6 2018
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Oh hai, Sky.
19/6 2018
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updated his profile picture.
19/6 2018
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What a time to be a life. Wicked souls trying to steer our destinies. Crazies in charge of the asylum, crooks in charge of the laws. Human rights is something you can apparently decide to withdraw from. What is the endgame for all this? What is the culture you’re trying to protect, and what is it worth if this is how you protect it? What is your faith worth if it can’t stand being tested and what is your country worth when you have to force people to respect it by law? It’s like having a magic potion that makes someone love you. You think it’s love if you trick them? You think they respect the flag if you force them?
Why do you keep shitting where you live, do you like it in this shithole?
20/6 2018
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This is America. A straight line from mocking a disabled reporter to this.
link: Corey Lewandowski womp womp video
20/6 2018
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I need some goat. I need all the goat.
20/6 2018
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‘Tender age’ camps.
My mind broke at the womp womp. My heart broke at this.
20/6 2018
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Happy hump day everyone
20/6 2018
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Shutting down for today. The computer and the brain. My desire to be in the real world is right around zero right now. Same for socializing. Everything seems so trivial right now, in the face of… things.I need a dreamscape and some goat therapy. Thanks everyone who is there for being there. Thanks for being better. I’ll try to reply to stuff tomorrow. If I make it out of the dreams.
20/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn and Mio from 2015.
21/6 2018
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Good goat times today. Although I got a scare, a big one. Something happened to Milo. He’s okay, but it was pretty bad. I’m not sure what happened. They were fine in the morning and I took them out grazing as always. Everything was fine. Then suddenly he started sneezing and snorting and running around. At first it was funny because everyone got spooked and ran around and it just seemed silly. But then he started complaining and then he sat down, it was like he couldn’t stand up anymore. And when I touched him he bleated like he was in pain. And it felt like he had slime in his mouth. Something was very wrong. I was talking to Finbarr. I wanted him to call the vet, but he said they couldn’t do it before 9 am I think, and also because it’s very expensive for them to call the vet (government place, no budget etc) they have to be absolutely sure it’s an emergency before they call. I was going to offer to pay for the vet myself, but while I was talking to him Milo got up and walked around a little. He’d stopped complainign and he didn’t seem to be in pain. So I thought okay, let’s give it a minute. He seemed to be improving. While the big girls and Sky did some grazing I took Milo and sat with him in my lap. Calming him and keeping a close look, feeling around his belly to see if anything seemed wrong. After a while he started chewing his cud. Which I took to be a very good sign. I’m not an expert on the health stuff, but that meant his system was working again. And after 10 minutes or so he got up out of my lap and started walking around. And slowly he began grazing again. Eating grass. He was still a bit dazed, but doing much better. And soon he was coming at me with a wagging tail, jumping up on my leg begging for treats. What a relief it was seeing him get going again. I honestly thought he was going to die when it first happened. I don’t know what I would have done. What a fright. I’m not sure what happened. Maybe he got a hold of something that was bad for him. But they have grazed there a thousand times before. Maybe someone had dropped something there that was bad for them. I don’t know. It occured to me while thinking it over, for the thousandth time, that I think Mio had given him a push before it happened. Just one of the normal “I’m the boss around here” shoves. But she is very powerful. Maybe it hit him badly in the stomach or something and it shook his system out of balance. I think goat stomachs are a pretty delicate thing. Lots of things that can go wrong with them. But an hour or two later he seemed completely back to normal. Later on I sat with him in my lap again and I think he may have fallen asleep for a while. His eyes fell closed anyway. And Mia came over and sat down next to us. Sky stood next to us and got some head scratchies. Grandma sat under the house again, that seems to be her favourite spot now. Even though it’s not super hot anymore. Sweet, calm goat times after a rough start. Oh man.
Goats. Nothing but trouble. We oughta get rid of them and get a potted plant instead.
21/6 2018
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Here’s the little jerkface. Thanks for scaring the socks off me, Milo. I love that little boy.
21/6 2018
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Thanks all for the comments about Milo. Sounds like the most likely scenario is that he got stung. Poor boy. But I’m glad he got better. He did manage to steal the treatbag out of my pockets again today. A potted plant wouldn’t do that.
21/6 2018
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Here’s some of the better goat times. Visitors at the fence. I was sitting with the goats and heard people at the fence. You can usually tell if they want to see the goats. Then I’ll walk over to the fence and the goats will follow me and the visitors get the chance for some close contact. There was a couple of little kids who very much enjoyed picking grass for the goats.
Earlier, before Milo’s mishap, we were visited by a family of three. They spoke something that sounded like Russian, or something in that region. I spoke a little with the father, in English. While the kid and mother were occupied by the goats. They live in the apartment blocks next to us. The father was really nice and friendly, and as they left he said that he hoped they’d see me again sometime. Always nice to meet good people who are willing to suitably adore the goats.
21/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from winter 2012.
22/6 2018
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I had a bunch of great dreams last night. In one it was wintertime and it was snowing, literally, through the roof. It reminded me of that Moomin cartoon where Moomin woke up in wintertime.
And then I got a semi-lucid dream. My favourite, the kind where I become aware it’s a dream. What’s better than suddenly realizing you’re in a magic world where anything can happen and there are no consequences? I literally walked right out on a busy highway straight into traffic, because I knew I was dreaming. Let’s just hope I never mistake dream for reality out on the real roads…
22/6 2018
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Trump rescinds Obama policy protecting oceans
“The order encourages more drilling and other industrial uses of the oceans and Great Lakes.
The order stands in contrast to Obama’s policy, which focused heavily on conservation and climate change. ”
I know baby snatching is fun and glamorous, but we gotta remember to destroy the environment too. We gotta burn the planet to the ground and pollute the waters. Salt the ground and let the acid rain down. Maximise the profits.
It’s cute when you read the words to the executive order. There’s no way in hell Donald Trump even knows half the words used in that order. But I’m sure he smiled as he signed it and got his treat from the Dark Ones pulling the strings. There’s a good puppet. You can have an immigrant baby for lunch if you behave, while we drink the oil and sniff the ashes.
22/6 2018
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Never letting you go. Milo.
22/6 2018
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The first lady’s team insisted that there was no hidden meaning behind the sartorial choice.
22/6 2018
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Now I am become pizza, devourer of cheese.
22/6 2018
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goatlog
22/6 2018
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Apparently Milo isn’t letting me go either.
22/6 2018
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Man, Jeff Sessions is such a nasty piece of work. It takes a special kind of tiny shit-goblin to use the word of god to justify the mistreatment of children and the poor and weak. It always puzzles me with religious people like that, that they don’t realise that if there is a god then surely that god would frown upon their bottomless unkindness and bigotry. Womp womp, scoopity poop. Digging the shitholes, maximising the profits. Jesus Christ.
22/6 2018
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Save me, grandma.
22/6 2018
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Fyi, I’m in the process of changing my name to Lassjen Henriksjen. Please respect my wishes and forward my mail.
22/6 2018
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Here’s some sweetness instead. A bit of video from yesterday, sleepy Milo in my lap while Mia sits next to us.
link: Milo & me video
22/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here are the Ping Pong twins from 2016.
23/6 2018
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I’m not going to lie, I feel disappointed that David Lynch isn’t reading in his Gordon Cole voice for the audiobook of his biography. Missed opportunity.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go turn the donkey wheel so I can move this island away and never be found again.
23/6 2018
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Let’s not forget darling Sky, the littlest goat in the yard.
23/6 2018
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This would have been a nice shot if I’d managed to keep Sky’s face in the frame… you win some you lose some.
23/6 2018
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The simulation has restocked my freezer. I pay humble tribute to the electrical currents that sustain us and provide for us.
23/6 2018
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Hello? Is dinner ready? Some of us are starving out here.
23/6 2018
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I read that there secretly was a Mos Eisley spaceport movie planned, but it’s been cancelled or postponed. I hope they’ll make it. I have always loved Tatooine and I’d love to see some movies set there. Surely if they do a Kenobi movie it would have to be about his time on Tatooine too? Some of my earliest Star Wars expanded universe experiences where the “Tales of” books. TAles of the cantina, Tales of Jabba’s palace. Those things are looked upon with a lot of derision by most fans today, just like the old Marvel comics. But I love that stuff. A simpler time before Star Wars fandom turned complicated and toxic and canon became a big sprawling beast. The old Han and Lando book trilogies too. Mmm. Good times. Anyway I’m not a nerd, please give me back my lunch money.
23/6 2018
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Since I’m on a little Star Wars memory tour, I just need to post this. That cover. Burned in my memory. I got this book when I was a kid. one of the first Star Wars things I ever got. In English. We must have imported it. Probably from the legendary Danish comic store Fantask in Copenhagen (far far away from us in Århus) because they would have imported specialty items like this. This is a Star Wars encyclopedia and it has entries pulled from lots of old Star Wars sources like the aforementioned Han and Lando book trilogies. I got this encyclopedia way way way before I ever read those books, so in the encyclopedia I would get these tantatlizing glimpses of characters and aliens and planets from those books, and my imagination would go crazy pouring over all those amazing details. It made the Star Wars universe seem like this giant, amazing thing that I only had access to a tiny fraction of at that time. I’m not sure I ever read this book all the way through. I would usually just open it on random page and just read entries for a few pages and then flip to somewhere else. Reading about weapons and spaceships and alien races and spaceports and technical details about the Death Star and speculation about the force (way before there was anything like midi-chlorians) and just so much wonderful scififantasyfiction. Mmm. At some point I tore the cover off this book. I can’t remember why. It had that atmospheric cover picture. I might have hung it on my wall. At various times my bedroom walls were covered with the cardboard cutouts from Star Wars figures I’d bought. All pinned up with push-pins. So when the time finally came that I was too old to have my walls decorated with all that stuff and I took it down.. I was left with bedroom walls full of tons of tiny holes from all the pins haha. And the encyclopedia was left without a cover, but I still read through it periodically. Reading about blasters and Yak Face and the forest moon of Endor and the Corporate Sector and the starcave of thonboka and the dianoga and the tusken raiders and on and on and on. It was amazing. A Guide To The Star Wars Universe. Even the name makes me feel all warm and nostalgic. That book was one of the best things of any kind I ever had and if I had to make museum of my childhood it would get a center piece.
I am pretty sure I still have it. Somewhere. I have some boxes of old childhood stuff, I’m pretty sure it must be in there somewhere. I can’t imagine i’d ever have gotten rid of it. Even with the cover torn off and the pages worn down.
So anyway, if you read that I’m sorry and please accept this glass of blue milk as an offering of apology.
link: A guide to the Star Wars universe
23/6 2018
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Here’s some goat content to make up for the nostalgia rambles. Mia begging the visitors for food. some day she’ll knock the fence down.
23/6 2018
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Now I am become sleepy, weaver of dreams. Walker among stars and denier of reality. Do not come looking for me unless you know how to navigate the dreamscape and where the wild goats are.
23/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, everyone.
24/6 2018
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Don’t bite the finger that scratches you, Sky.
24/6 2018
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Shoutout to allyall out there for being superfine beings doing your best, as we all must.
24/6 2018
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Looks like Mia is too cool for the group shot again.
24/6 2018
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Goats gone sleepy
24/6 2018
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That’s all for this week.
