Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads, Magnethe and Mathilde from 2005. Have a magic Monday, everyone.

28/5 2018
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Good goat times today. The morning was a little cooler than we’ve been used to lately. It rained a little overnight. Some scattered drops during the day too, but very little. Thankfully more and more sunshine and alltogether I’d count it as another lovely summery day. Grazing with the goaties and then relaxing in the pen. Nothing too interesting happened today. A kindergarterner at the fence shouted to me “WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE ONE THAT’S EATING?!”. They were all four grazing. You gotta be more specific, kiddo!
Got some kinda bad news when I got home. I’ll write about that later. Don’t worry, everyone’s fine. It’s only going to affect one of my Facebook friends. Sigh.
28/5 2018
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I don’t know what you two are up to, but you’re definitely up to something.

28/5 2018
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Totes comfy, why do you ask?

28/5 2018
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Okay, well the bad news I got today is that I’ll be having work done in my apartment on Wednesday. And that’s bad because A) I’m pretty sure it will be done by humans, who will need to come into my place and be around me. And 2) Wednesday is the day that Cindy Porter is supposed to visit the goats. She’s on a cruise, I gather. Just posted some nice pictures from Norway. What are the odds, they’ll be working in my apartment pretty much the exact hours she was supposed to be here. I know it sounds like a terrible excuse from a person who doesn’t want to see other humans. But I swear it’s true. What makes it even greater is that they’ll be cutting off my electricity for 8 hours. They’re coming between noon and 5.30 pm. But they’re cutting my power at 8 am. WELL THANKS A LOT. I guess I’ll have to listen to audiobooks, because my mp3 player is the only battery driven device I have. Anyway. Cindy just told me that she might not be able to make it anyway, since it’s a tight schedule. So maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I still feel bad about it, though. I hope maybe she’ll be able to go see the goats, even though it won’t be the same as seeing them with uncle blind tour guide. As tough as it is meeting people, it’s nice to meet fans of the goats. Certainly more fun than sitting in my apartment without power waiting for humans who aren’t fans of the goats to show up.
Oh well. So it goes.
28/5 2018
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“Happy Memorial Day! Those who died for our great country would be very happy and proud at how well our country is doing today. Best economy in decades, lowest unemployment numbers for Blacks and Hispanics EVER (& women in 18years), rebuilding our Military and so much more. Nice!”
I’m not American. I can only hope some day there will be a Danish leader able to express such a deep respect and selfless love of those who have fallen in service of our tiny country. Cool!
28/5 2018
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Goat cleanse
28/5 2018
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Aw, look at that. Mia sitting with her little ‘ersatz’ babies around her. Grandma watching from the shadows. She likes to go all the way in and sit in the farthest corner. She is a quite cautious, old lady. Maybe she feels safer in there. Or maybe it’s cooler. Or the hay there is more comfortable. I do love the little ones sitting around Mia. I din’t get it on video, but today all three of them were eating from an apple at the same time (after I’d taken a few bites for myself first). The little ones were eating from the apple along with Mia, and she wasn’t making any moves to push them away. It was like three equals sharing a meal. Grandma is not that tolerant yet. She’s queen and she knows it, she does not want to share her food with little interlopers. But then Mia gets that treatment once in a while. Grandma’s still got a growl.
And now I’m super tired. I have no brain and I must dream.

28/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

29/5 2018
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It’s blisteringly hot. It’s the kind of day where you just have to accept that Global Warming is real and you can’t wait for night when Global Cooling will be real, because you understand science.
29/5 2018
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The Shining goats

29/5 2018
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No wonder America lost all those children. Estimated death toll in Puerto Rico: 64. Actual death toll: 4645. The American government obviously isn’t very good at keeping track of people.
And hey, the Puerto Ricans were actual American citizens, right? So they actually mattered. Oh well. Next time bring them more paper towels I guess? Now let’s get back to golfing and cheese burgers.
29/5 2018
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I just spent 30 seconds debating with myself wether ‘duckface’ was too offensive a word for Mia’s page. I decided it was. Ah, pg13 world problems.
29/5 2018
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Someone must have dropped something good on the ground here, because both the goats and the feathery fowls were very interested in that spot. Which lead to some tense moments. I have had several of you comment about roosters being potential fierce or dangerous, I have never seen anything like that from any of our birds. This guy almost looked like he wanted to take on Mio for a second. He was kinda tripping around a bit with a sort of “I can take her, I can take her” approach. And then as giant grandma huffed at him he sort of tripped away with a “nope, maybe some other time” look.
It’s funny how the goats are sometimes spooked by the sounds of the chickens, especially if they’re out of sight. But face to face when going for the food, grandma is not scared one bit.

29/5 2018
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I am here for any version of Africa, unironically and proudly. I will not be judged, not by you, not by and army of Terminators.

30/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. I hope. T minus 30 minutes until my power gets cut. I should be back 8 hours later, assuming nothing goes wrong. But what could possiblie go wrong?
Happy hump day, everyone.

30/5 2018
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I know I’ve only been gone 8 hours, and sometimes I literally sleep twice that, but…

30/5 2018
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All done. As always worrying and waiting is the worst part. It’s never as bad as I fear, but tell that to my stupid brain.
I got some work done on the Simplify Plan. I’m finally ready to throw out one of my two desks. Dad is coming over tonight to help me get it out.
Also did some napping, some listening to Stephen King, some showering in the dark, and some more napping.
Outside, the sun. All the sun.
30/5 2018
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That thing when you’ve been offline and you check the news and it says Kim Kardashian is going to visit the White House to discuss prison reform.
*wirecutters inching towards internet cable*
Today’s episode of Is It The Onion Or Not? is brought to you by poopity scoop, when the shit’s so thick you could stir it with a stick.
30/5 2018
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It’s been the hottest month of May in Denmark since 1889. It’s also been the least amount of time I’ve worn pants during May since that one year when I got really into wearing kilts.
30/5 2018
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I’m done for the day. Mentally quite wiped out. Time to go dream it away. See you on the otherside.
30/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.

31/5 2018
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Good goat times today. Last day of May, and it was another hot one. But quite windy too, which made it feel nice and comfortable. As I was taking the goats out, a 4th grade came piling in. Sheesh, human kids are loud! Lots of noise. Some of the kids were a little scared of the goats. Some of the kids were fascinated with the pooping habits of the goats. Poopity scoop. A couple of girls were stroking Mia’s back and singing to her. That was really sweet. I’m not sure if they were making up the song or if it’s something they got somewhere. It was a song about goats. And Mia stood politely and let then adore.
Had some fun with the (goat) kids too. I held out some raisins and got Milo and Sky to run towards me. Then do a raisin dance to get the raisins and then I’d run a few steps forward and the little ones took the cue and gallopped away. They are really fast when they get going! Little bottle rockets. I did that a couple of times. They’re su cute.
31/5 2018
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The girls singing to Mia. Almost looks like they were giving her a backrub while singing to her.

31/5 2018
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Silly goofs. I was sitting on the rocks, watching the goats outside. Then Mio walks up to the fence and starts staring at me. Mia notices and walks over next to her and they both stare at me. Meanwhile, 5 steps to the left the gate is wide open. They could just walk into the pen if they wanted something. Instead they just stood there and stared at me like the fact that I was inside the pen and they were outside the pen was a conundrum that stopped them dead in a track like if you’d asked a robot “what is love?”. I couldn’t help laughing at them.

31/5 2018
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Smile, you’re on goated camera.

31/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here are the Ping Pong twins from 2016.

1/6 2018
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Hi, June. You have a lot to live up to. May was pretty hot. Now it’s actually summer, don’t let me down.
1/6 2018
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If you can’t tell the difference between A Racist Joke and Not A Racist Joke then… well, I hope you’re not telling jokes in public.
1/6 2018
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Do you ever feel like you’re trying to stop an avalanche with just the outstretched palm of your hand?
1/6 2018
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I don’t know if you can tell by the Facebooksized photo, but I can see myself holding up the camera reflected in Sky’s eye. Neato.

1/6 2018
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got a light?

1/6 2018
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A Game Of Scrabble On the Orient Express?! Wow, they’re really watering down the franchise.
1/6 2018
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Milo is a lovely boy. Can’t believe that beard on him. When I see him running around with that thing it makes me think of some teenager growing his first beard, wanting to appear to be a grownup. But you’re still a leetel boy, Milo!

1/6 2018
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I had an interesting dream the other night. Kind of different from my usual dreams.
There was a spacecraft coming towards Earth. It was a small one. A single-man craft. Inside was a pregnant man. Now this wasn’t played for laughs. It wasn’t an Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of deal. He landed his spacecraft in Algeria, of all places. No one knew where he was from. If he was some kind of astronaut who had gotten lost and was returning. Or if he was a messenger. Sent from? Somewhere, someone. He spoke Arabic, and he had sort of an Arabian look. He was bearded. And had a big, pregnant belly with stretch marks. When they opened up the craft they asked him where he was from. And he leaned his head against the man who asked and said.. something like.. “don’t worry about your lesser gods”. Or.. bigger gods? I think it was something about gods. But I can’t remember for sure. And then he said a string of two letter words. I can’t remember those either. Like Fe Ne Ba Ma Vu. Or whatever. Like a pass phrase. Or the name of some alien. Or, I don’t know. Elemnts from the periodic table? I have no idea.
He died shortly after arriving on Earth. I do believe his child survived, but I never found out if it was a boy or a girl or something else. I never found out if he was human, if he was sent from aliens or god or gods or something else. Or if he had a message. Just that he brought us his child.
It was a pretty solemn and serious dream. It felt like it was an important, historical event that would bring humanity together and alter the future of our race. Nevermind if that happened in reality it would probably start a few wars and commercial exploitation.
Fascinating dream, though. Maybe you had to be there.
2/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

2/6 2018
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goatlog

2/6 2018
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I heard chirping in the goat house…
link: bird feeding video
2/6 2018
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Just finished watching Solo. I enjoyed it. It was good fun. No one could ever live up to Harrison, but I still liked seeing Chewie and Han and Lando. If they don’t do more Lando content then they’re nuts, nuts I tell you. I want a Lando netflix series. Or something. I also have great love for Woody Harrelson. There were only two things I really disliked. How he got his name. That seemed a little dumb and unnecessary to me. And the surprise cameo at the end. I don’t think that fits so well into established canon, and felt a bit too gimmicky. Maybe the last game of Sabacc was a little rushed too, that event could have been held for a sequel movie. I think the Solo guy, whose name I will never be able to spell, is signed up for 3 movies? So hopefully there will be more Han/Chewie/Lando adventures. Now that we’ve covered the expected bases of Things That Need To Be In a Young Han Solo Movie, we can go on to fresh and fun adventures.
I watched a bad cam copy so I need to wait for it to come out on DVD before passing superfinal judgment. But good fun. That’s what I came away with. I enjoyed Rogue One too. Star Wars is one of the prime fictional escapegrounds of my life, I like seeing non-saga stories from that universe. I wouldn’t mind if they went further away from the saga. Tell stories that are set in the reocgnisable universe, but not dealing with the big characters or important things like the death star plans. Yup. But I guess Boba Fett and Kenobi are the next ones. I wonder what Rian’s trilogy will be about.
Anyway. That’s today’s Star Wars report. And now a word from our sponsors. Poopity Scoop, because the real world is full of shit.
2/6 2018
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And for those of you who don’t like Star Wars, there’s goats.

2/6 2018
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Out to space
2/6 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

3/6 2018
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You know it’s a good exercise when the random playlist hits both Paranoid Android and The Aeroplane Flies High. While the sun baketh outside. Phew.
3/6 2018
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The President “cannot have obstructed justice because he is America’s top law enforcement officer”
Well alright then. Welcome to the banana republic, please hand over all your passwords and enjoy your stay.

3/6 2018
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Table for two please. With food for 6, thanks.

3/6 2018
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You have to be careful when petting they dangerous grandma goat…

3/6 2018
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Han Singleplayer.

3/6 2018
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I don’t know how much grease was needed to get those two to fit in that space, but it was probably a lot.

3/6 2018
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Beauty and the human

3/6 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.

Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe from 2005.

21/5 2018
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Good goat times today. Another one in our streak of lovely, summery days. A light cloud topping, but the sun came through well and it was comfortably warm. Today is a holiday, so the playground was closed. But I took the goaties out grazing. Plenty of visitors and fun times. Lots of sweet and funny moment. Like the goats harassing a couple of young ladies who made the mistake of laying out ap lastic bag of berries and chocolate. Milo trying to butt heads with Mio. Sky rolling around in the sandpit like she was being gobbled up by a Sarlacc. Mia’s whole head and giraffeneck out the fence as visitors were feeding them. Lots of fun stuff. And I think I set a new record in explaining that no, really, Mio isn’t pregnant. I think 4-5 people asked, and then asked again for confirmation. Haha. Sky really likes having her head scratched. She was pawing at me and putting her head against my hands to keep doing it. Her face is so tiny in my hands and so soft. She’s a little like Mio, in the way that she seems to enjoy just standing still and being cuddled for ages. While Milo is a little more like Mia, gets antsy quicker and wants to keep moving. Oh yeah and Milo went over and sat down next to Mio at one point. It’s happened a couple of times with Sky and Mia. I love that the little ones are that comfortable with the big ladies that they want to sit close, not just in a confined space like the goat house but also out in the open air where they could sit anywhere.
21/5 2018
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Lovely day for it.
Please note how I masterfully managed to squeeze the great whites’ butts in the frame.

21/5 2018
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Number 18 reporting for duty.

21/5 2018
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Sweet sweets.

21/5 2018
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Today will e a good day. Happy Yogi day, guys.

22/5 2018
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Gotta keep your goats in a row

22/5 2018
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I guess 2018 was the year when the Jerk Store finally restocked it’s supply.
22/5 2018
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“Talk to you when the nosey human isn’t here..”

22/5 2018
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goatlog

22/5 2018
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That expression says “I really want that treat you’re offering, but I just got comfy and I don’t want to get up”. Trying to turn into a giraffe, but the neck just isn’t long enough.

22/5 2018
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If you could see a snapshot of the internal monologue in my head at any given time it would be a fat guy and a skinny guy shouting at each other.
If they’re both representations of myself then it’s still a monologue, right? Nevermind the goats bleating in the background.
22/5 2018
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Yeah? Well, the headache store called and they’re all out of you. Or well… they just checked out back and there was one left. You.
22/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

23/5 2018
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My reaction every time I get one of those “please accept the new data policy” popup prompts on the websites.
(nsfw)
link: rage against the machine video
23/5 2018
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Okay, so Trump is violating the first amendment when he blocks his critics on twitter. Fine. But how come it’s legal for Kristen Bell to block me on twitter? And instagram? And Facebook? And Myspace? And tumblr? And hotmail? And gmail? And yahoo mail? How come it’s legal for her to throw my letters unopened into the trash but it’s NOT legal for me to go through her trash to find out if she opened my letters?!?
How come it’s not legal for me to throw out the restraining orders without reading them?!?!
23/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012.

24/5 2018
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Good goat times today. Another gorgeous day. Upwards of 27C/80F according to the forecast. Probably didn’t get quite that high here, but it was sunny and hot. I tell you what, it’s not even officially summer yet but it’s still been better than last summer. If we could get this kind of weather when real summer gets here I’d be happy with that. I’d like a few 30+ days, but yeah this late spring has been more summery than all last year.
And the goats enjoy all the greenery of course. Happy grazers. We had some sweet visitors today too. Grandmothers with kids. There was one little boy who was very inquisitive and asked me lots of questions. Like, why the bunnies and horses wasn’t out. I had to tell them that the place wasn’t officially open yet. The goats are just lucky enough to have a crazy human who likes to come early and take them out. He also enjoyed bringing the goats grass. Which is kinda funny when he’s basically interrupting them from… eating grass. But it’s always nice to be hand fed.
Had some great backjumping action too. Milo had been struggling a little to get a hang of it. But then suddenly it clicked for him and he kept doing it. To claim raisins, of course. Kinda like with me when I learned the trick to getting pizzas. Ordering and paying or them. Neat trick, works every time.
24/5 2018
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Lovely day for it.

24/5 2018
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Zapp Brannigan is president and we’re all Kif Kroker.
24/5 2018
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It’s funny, after a while you can tell that the bellies are getting full and the big ladies start sitting down to rest. While the little ones just keep eating. Eating. Always eating. You’d think the big bellies could hold more food, but somehow the little bellies are the ones that never seem to get full.

24/5 2018
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Hah, 5 minutes after posting that Futurama reference I find out that Matt Groening has a new animated series coming out in August, with several of the Futurama voice talent included. I hope it will be good. Please sneak Bender in there somewhere. I need a Matt Groening Cinematic Universe.
24/5 2018
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Milo’s on top of thing.

24/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.

25/5 2018
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When I count for how long I’ve been on the exercise bike I include the time I spent hunched over, facepalmed against the speedometer, panting for dear life and not moving a muscle. I think that’s fair.
25/5 2018
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Aw yeah. I love when the little ones sit with the big ones.

25/5 2018
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Do you think Milo wants a treat? I wonder…

26/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje from 2007.

26/5 2018
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I love your face, Sky. Her head seems to fit perfectly in the palm of my hand. And she likes when I just hold her face. Milo, on the other hoof, will pull away because he’s got things to do and places to be and worlds to conquer. But Sky will just stand and enjoy the crazy human rubbing her face.

26/5 2018
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It’s so hot. And I’m so tired. I’m going to leave you all in this world for now and go to the other.
26/5 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

27/5 2018
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Thanks goodness there’s a fence to protect the children from those very dangerous goats.

27/5 2018
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I mean, not to be controversial or anything. But if you’re willing to hand over power to a corrupt, lying abuser to protect unborn children, but you don’t care about 1500 children that are taken away from their parents and then disappear in your immgiration system… You may be a hypocrite.
I’m pretty fucking sure Jesus wouldn’t be okay with you wanting to check a child’s paperwork before you decide if they’re worthy of being treated like a human being. That whole ‘Do Unto Others’ thing is one of the most famous commandments and the Good Samaritan is one of the most famous parables. If you can’t even live up to those, the most basic of tenets, then maybe you shouldn’t claim to be all believing in the Lord and stuff. I don’t know.
27/5 2018
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Other people are pain. Goats are painkillers.
Still waiting for the Drive Shaft reunion tour btw

27/5 2018
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Grandma’s babysitting the rock.

27/5 2018
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Fuzzybutts got the high ground.

27/5 2018
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goatlog

27/5 2018
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Five shiny coins to the first non-Danish person who can guess which American movie was titled “Frækkere End Politiet Tillader” in Denmark, without googling it. Now, I have a special way of knowing if you googled it or not. And that is, if you get it right. Then you googled it. Now I’ll give you a little hint. The literal translation of that title is “Naughtier than the police will allow”.
Any guesses? Now remember, if you get it right I know you have cheated.
27/5 2018
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Milo is definitely naughtier than the police allows. He is wanted for the crime of pickpocketing the human. Repeatedly.

27/5 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.