Burn the forests, skin the animals, loot the planet, maximise the profits. Gotta get that selfie with a dead endangered animal before it’s too late!
link: wildlife board article
26/3 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here’s Mandela and 3B from 2006.

26/3 2018
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.
Good goat times today. I had some morning troubles (nothing important) and then there was the daylight savingshift. Ended up being a little late. But it was good when I got there. The only place my mind is at ease. It started out grey but eventually the sun came out and became a quite lovely day. I could tell it was getting warmer by how Mia and Mio settled down and sat in the corner of the goat house where the sun beamed in through the doors. Sunshine means lazy goats lazing about. Except the kids, they weren’t ready to settle down yet. They were look at the great whites like “You old folks need a nap, huh? I guess that’s what happens when you get oooold”. Haha: Grandma was pretty salty today actually. She was huffing and puffing at the little ones several times when they got a little too close while I was giving out treats. She’s still got her grumpy side. I like that about her. Even though she nearly bit off half my hand when she snapped at the little ones whil I was giving her a treat! Geez, Mio. Don’t bite the hand that’s feeding you.
26/3 2018
—
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I bought cake and salad. Today could go either way.
26/3 2018
—
.
How do I love you, grandma, let me count the ways. One, two, three.. hey didn’t I used to have 5 fingers?!

26/3 2018
—
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A place in the sun

26/3 2018
—
.
My friend who isn’t that smart wanted to know if you can peel a carrot with an electric pencil sharpener? I told him “Lasse, I’m sure Facebook people will know, but remember not to use your own name when you’re asking”.
26/3 2018
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.
Not feeling that swell. The lost hour to daylight shaving’s time and technical difficulties. And upcoming technical stuff that I’m worrying about and other mishaps and tiredness and headachey. It’s amazing how quickly I can go from “totally got this” to “I wish the glass was half empty because I need a drink”. But I’m going to go hide in the dreamscape. Might be a while.
Btw, does anyone want some semi-fresh salad?
26/3 2018
—
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day

27/3 2018
—
.
The dreamscape was strong last night. Funny naked dreams and emotional oldfriend dreams and weird things that I can’t even explain. Adventuring in that world makes having to be in this world a little easier at times.
27/3 2018
—
.
Slowmotionbabygoatbleating featuring Milo and Sky.
link: slomo bleats
27/3 2018
—
.
A Shadow above.

27/3 2018
—
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Ya lil goofs

27/3 2018
—
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Ya big goofs

27/3 2018
—
.
Hey everybuddies. Tomorrow I am having my internets upgraded to a superfast fiber connection. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I will be able to write TWICE as much about Trump and guns! But with these things there is always a risk. And as I hinted there are some technical things I’m worrying about. I think there is a pretty big chance that it’s not going to work right away. And we’re heading into Easter vacation so if things go awry that might slow the resolution thereof. We’ll see. But if I disappear then it’s just my internet gone down. Or maybe I found that invisibility cloak that I lost. You know how hard it is to find an invisible cloak?!
Anyway, I just wanted to write this before midnight. Although the changeover shouldn’t happen until the morning. Now I’m going to post this and imagine how fast it would go if I had the fiber connection already!
27/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.
6 am and my old internet connection is still running. I expect the change to come within the next hour or two (although it could be as late as 5 pm), so we’ll see how it all goes.

28/3 2018
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.
12:40 pm, still on my old connection. I assume they’re going to turn this one off when they turn on the fiber connection, right? Otherwise I’ll be sitting here on my old connection all day waiting haha. I should have prepared better for this. Still plenty of time for everything to go all wrong. At least the glass is half full. HEY WAITAMINUTE WHO PEED IN M

28/3 2018
—
.
Well I just found something that made me tear up faster than the Wikipedia summary of Jurassic Bark.
Sam Fuentes.
28/3 2018
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4:30 pm. Still on old connection. I’m supposed to be upgraded by 5 at the latest. Hmm, maybe they WILL let the old connection live? I don’t know. Well, I’m not really in any hurry to get the faster connection working. I’m mostly worried about downtime. So I’m happy enough waiting. I’m just finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than checking if my internet is still up every 2 minutes.
The exciting tale of Lasse’s internet upgrade continues. I suppose after 5 I’ll have to hook up the new equipment and see if the new connection is live. Please send ice cream.
28/3 2018
—
.
Well it’s past 6 pm and I’m still on my old connection. So, either something went wrong. Or they’re not going to turn off the old one when they turn on the new one. Haha. Well, as I said I’m not in a great hurry to get the faster connection. As long as I have SOME connection I am happy. The thing is, I have a package waiting for me and my dad is kind enough to pick it up for me tonight. Judging by the label it might be some extra equipment for the changeoer and …errr, as long as I have some kind of internet working then I don’t really want to try hooking up the new stuff before I’ve seen what’s in that package. So, patiently waiting for my dad to get here in the next couple of hours and then we’ll see. I’m tired and nervous and kinda just want to go to bed and dream. But we’ll see. Shoutout to my dad for always being so helpful. Always ready to pick stuff up or help me get to places after my eyesight went out. In return I guide him through attaching files in yahoo mails a couple of times a month. It’s like a barter economy. Anyway, I should probably post this and go check if my internet is working. Although if it’s not working then posting this is going to be difficult. Better get the carrier pigeons ready. You guys are on the carrier pigeon mailing list, right? Just log in with your premium access password and check the members section. Okay, stop typing now.
28/3 2018
—
.
Okay, have some goat content too. While we’re here.

28/3 2018
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.
Well, it turns out that it was a good idea to wait for that package. As I suspected it contained equipment needed for my fiber connection. So if I’d tried to install that without all the equipment, who knows how much I would have messed that all up.
Now I’m tired and have several new things to acquaint myself with. But since my old connection seems to keep working, I guess there’s no hurry. I’m really tired now. I think I’ll go to bed now and then tomorrow i’ll do some research on how to set it all up and if I’m ready I’ll install the fiber connection. Or maybe I’ll research tomorrow and install Friday. Assuming this connection keeps working. If I get up tomorrow and this connection no longer works then I’ll have to be quicker about the fiber installation. We’ll see. Fingers crossed this connection will keep working. I thought they’d shut it down when opening the new one, but I guess not. Maybe this one will keep running till the end of the month. Or something something. Sorry I have been frightfully boring with technical stuff and worrying. Once it’s all done I can assure you I will post HIGHSPEED PREMIUM CONTENT.
Also, dad brought a slice of leftover kikskage so things are coming up MilLasse.
28/3 2018
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Goat Out

28/3 2018
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Just call me Nostradamus, because all my fatalistic predictions came true. Old internet closed, new internet not working .Gotta have a technician visit and due to Easter it can’t be until Tuesday. So. Hopefully I’ll be back Tuesday. Surely everything will be fine then. Surely. I am updating from my parents’ place right now. If things don’t go right Tuesday then I’ll hike back here for another update. Otherwise we’ll just have to tough it out. Just don’t take this as a chance to realise you can live without me, please!
I am already panicking about the technician visit and missing my social networks and if you knew the kinds of thoughts I got.. just trying to keep the wolf from the door.
It’s hard though. Like, I haven’t been able to tell you how I feel about the Roseanne comeback (cliff notes: I love nostalgia and John Goodman) or the IT movie (loved parts of it, parts of it felt a bit easy and clhiched). AND THAT’S JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG THAT SANK THE TITANIC OF MY INTERNET CONNECTION.
This was the worst possible time to run out of cake.
Deep breath. This is just a wrinkle in time. This is just a blip on the radar.
Hope everyone is doing well. See you when I get there.
31/3 2018
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.
As you may have guessed, things are not going according to plan
You have noticed I’ve been gone, right? You haven’t forgotten me? You still care? SAY MY NAME. I need validation
Anyway, I had the technician visit and he couldn’t fix the problem so now we have to get the fiber company involved. Basically I don’t know when I’ll be online again. Sigh. In all my anxietal haze I forgot to ask thme whne I was on the phone with them yesterday if it wasn’t possible for them to turn on my old connection so I could have some kind of internet while this is going on. I’m expecting another call today, so I gotta ask this time. I don’t know if it’s possible to do that, but this marks a week without internet and I can only imagine how hard this is for all of you, not knowing every little stupid thought that comes into my head. Surely a trying time.
Updating from my parents place again. Maybe I should move back home.
Finding it hard not to let the dark thoughts in. The wolf is howling at the door. It’s easier to deal with these things if you know when it’s going to be over. It would have been easier to deal with all the anxiety and phobia over the technician visit if I’d known I just had to get through it and everything would be fine. But I had a hunch. And again my Nostradamus prediction came true. And all the anxiety continues and I’m cut off from my oscial network and IT SNOWED . What the bloody heck. I was sitting and waiting for the tech guy and I had the doors open to get some of the stank out of the apartment. And outside the whole world turned white. In April. And all I could think was “I wish I could go have a snow day with the goats”. But I had to stay in. And even though it looked like it snowed a lot and everything was covered… by the end of the day it was all gone again. No snow today. Maybe my mood controls the weather, I don’t know. But hopefully spring is going to come back in force and hopefully my internet connection will work soon. I’m pretty sure internet access is a basic human right along with dnak memes and hashtag that thing you agree with.
Anyway, I’ll see you when you get there. Miss you all, miss it all. Please don’t leave, I’m all alone and the wolves are howling and OHMY
4/4 2018
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.
Another tranmission from the parental homebase.
I have good news and I have bad news. And I don’t have pizza, which I guess is also bad news. But anyway.
The good news is, yesterday I had another technician visit and they succesfully diagnosed and fixed the problem with the fiber cable.
The bad news is, my internet is still not working. so now I need a THIRD technician visit. On monday. Anothner “we’ll be there between 7 am and 4 pm”. Well, as long as they get it fixed for the love of the fourteen diamon stars in the fictional world that I have invented while waiting for this to get solved.
First visit was a guy from my ISP who deduced that the problem was in the fiber cable itself. Second visit was yesterday from the fiber company and they found that the cable was broken somewhere in the inside round the outside round the outside something something. Luckily since I’m on the ground floor it was simpler to fix than if it had been… not on on the ground floor. So they were able to fix it right there and then. Which should have meant my internet would start working. But it didn’t. so now I need another visit from my ISP. Fiddlesticks. but at least the fiber is working now. There’s no longer a light in the alarming ALARM button on the media converter [insert technical mumbo jumbo so people think I know what I’m talking about.
Anyway, that’s where we are. I sure am glad that I’m going to be online again on Monday, which I can only assume is what’s going to happen. I’m definitely not making any fatalistic Nostradamus predictions. But hey, if you guys see a giant comet in the sky RUN FOR YOUR WIVES.
Tra la la. Trying to keep up spirits and appearances. I am not enjoying this. But it’s fine. At least it’s giving me time to organize my stamp collection. Step one: Get a stamp collection.
Please send nudes and pizza in a bottle c/o scruffy looking goat herder in Denmark.
The goats are all good. They have grown a little since we last talked. Milo and Sky are the size that Mia and Mio used to be and Mia and Mio are the size of elephants now. that’s a joke. The little ones are still tiny and the big one is still huge and Mia’s tail is still wagging. Thank goat I have goats for company. And if I don’t get my internets working soon then I’ll have to teach them how to speak human speak so I have someone to talk to HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING.-
Happy birthday to my dad yesterday, and to everyone who has had a birthday while I have been stuck in this thing called reality. It’s not a nice place, there are humans here and they don’t speak in memes. No one retweets me when I say something incredibly hilarious, which is something I often do I can assure you.
I think spring is back. That snow day must have been an insane fluke. A sign from the gods that they are also bored when they can’t read my hilarious comments on current events. The sun is shining. It’s not superhot, but I’m too hot for this scarf no way I’m disco dancing.
I recommend you print this update and read a couple of lines every day to keep you going while I’m gone. Maybe hire a Shakespearan actor to read it out loud in a Danish accent, but make sure he talks with such a low voice that you can’t really hear what he’s saying.
I can’t wait to get back and see what 3 people are left in the Trump administration am I right haha politics.
I was just getting into a good swing with eating healthy and exercising and then this happened and now I’m sitting around being fat and pouring sugar and salt and fat into my veins to keep the depression at bay. Thanks, Obama. I’ll start over when the internet is up. There’s no point in doing anything hard if you can’t complain about it to others and there’s not reason to exercise if you can’t write on Facebook that you just exercised. There’s no point in eating salad if you can’t write on Facebook that you just ate salad. You don’t win friends with salad DENTAL PLAN Lisa needs braces.
I’m not going insane, thank you for asking, giant marshmallow with stuckon googly eyes.
You know, maybe from now on I should only go online once a week and just post ALL THE THOUGHTS AT ONCE and break the internet like Kim Kardashian’s rear.
And when I found out whomst of you were the one whomst wished that I’d be gone I will hunt you down with my particular set of skills and perform celebrity impressions for you until you break it down now.
End transmission.
PS I miss you, I hope you are all well. I hope your kids and animals are thriving and I hope you have pizza in yourl ife.
PPS Okay. Well. I guess… I gotta.. go. Back to.. THE FUTU no, back to reality. I guess.Sigh.
PPPS OH NO NO NO I’M A ROCKET MAN
7/4 2018
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.
I am ON THE LINE! Connection achieved. We are the web. The mainframe is plugged into the cosmos.
I hope. Hooves crossed. Seems like I’m online with fast fiber. Been having some other computer problems. But hopefully things will work ok now. Please. I am tired and hungry. And lots to catch up with. We’ll get there. I’ll be back to spamming goat posts before you know it.
Almost two weeks without internet. Phew. I’m pretty sure that’s the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in the history of things happening to people, historically.
What a nightmare. For you guys, I mean. I can just imagine you sitting there in front of the blank screen, staring at it, not knowing every random thought that’s going through my head. Must have been awful. Just sitting there with nothing to do. Because what’s the point of the simulation still processing things when the only remaining living human is offline. Anyway, that’s my spec script for Black Mirror.
I need eat. I wonder if I can remember how to order pizza.
9/4 2018
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.
The goat family busy at work keeping the vegetation trim.

9/4 2018
—
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Goats got me through

9/4 2018
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It’s not been all bad, being without the internet. Also, being hit on the head with a hammer isn’t all bad. And the plague, that wasn’t so bad.
No, but seriously. Shoutout to my parents for letting me use their place like an internet café. Including blackcurrant lemonade. Being without internet isn’t really a big problem as long as I could go there once in a while to make sure I kept up with the time sensitive things, and to let you all know what was going on. The bad part was the uncertainty. Not knowing when it would all be done. The sinking feeling that some vengeful god was looking down at me like “OH YEAH? You want fast internet? Here, have NO INTERNET EVER AGAIN”. Also, three tech visits. Sheesh. For a social phobic shut-in that’s no fun. I think I mention already, but it turned out the fiber cable was broken. Luckily because I was on the ground floor and had a hunction cabinet thingie in my hallway, they had enough extra slack that they could fix it without having to rewire the whole building. So that should have fixed it all, but even with the fiber fixed I had no internet connection. There was something wrong in the media splitter box thingie (look, I’m sorry but I’m a very smart person and you’ll just have to live with my technical jargon). I think he said my ISP hadn’t programmed. There’s supposed to be stuff input in the box. THAT’S WHAT SH… anyway, it was all complicated by the fact that I was dealing with 3 different parties. My ISP uses the infrastructure put in place by the biggest Danish tele company. And the cable was put in by another company. So it took longer because they all had to communicate amongst themselves. My ISP had to get the teleco to check it and they realized they had to get the fiber cable company to fix it and then my ISP had to get the teleco back again and on and on. Well, whatever. I’m just glad it’s done. And I hope I don’t have to have strangers in my apartment for a long time, possibly until they scrape my corpse from the bath tub some day. Not to be morbid or anything.
It was a little funny actually, they third tech visit was the same guy as the first tech visit so he said “hi again!” and we actually had a little chat. We talked about the neighbourhood and all the construction going on. And while he was inputting his junk in the box THATS WH he asked if I was a gamer and I told him about my eyesight and we talked a little about the diabeetus and all that. Not so bad after all. Usually it’s not the thing itself that’s bad, it’s the worrying and waiting and uncertainty. I function much better when I know what to expect and I can follow my routines and plans. If they’d been able to say from the start that I’d be without internet for two weeks and then everything would be fine, that would have been a breeze. It was the not knowing that was hard.
But some good has come of it. I got some free time to spend on catching up with things that had been procrastinated for a long time. I literally had PDF files on my PC desktop that I had put there years ago intending to read sometime. I’m really good at putting things aside and ignoring them until they’re five minutes away from exploding or expiring. So I got some stuff done. Also, I had to move my computer setup closer to the fiber box just to make I was using the correct, shorter, cables. So I ended up moving things around. It gave me the chance to clean some nooks and crannies that hadn’t been touched in a long time. THATS W you’d be amazed how easy it is to ignore filth and mess when you’re almost blind. And lazy. But I got some stuff cleaned. And I got one of those Eureka inspirational moments that I sometimes get when I find things I want to change in my life, and sometimes I even get some of it done. This time I got some done. I got stuff thrown out. And now I have big plans to throw more stuff out. Simplify, man. Again. I have too much junk. Useful junk, useless junk, junk that I could buy a new copy of for a dollar if I ever actually needed it. I just want to get rid of it all. I want fewer physical possesion. I have two actual desks in my apartment and I have literally not sat and done anything at them for 5+ years. They’re used mostly for storage (ie places to put junk and mess and forget about it until it explodes). I want to get rid of at least one desk, possibly two. And I want plastic boxes for the junk that I can’t or won’t get rid of. I want space and air and a place that’s easier to clean and I want to eat salad and vegetables and maximise the exercising. I want to get rid of 75% of my stuff. My dad volunteers in a chairy shop kind of place, they can have all my DVDs. Do people even watch DVDs anymore? There are some rarities and box sets I’ll keep. but other than that. I have two big shelves full of junk I’ll never watch, read or listen to. Out with it. Keep digital copies of stuff I still want, but all that crap everywhere. I want it out. I wat air in here, instead of living in a tiny rat’s nest. There’s also a very good chance I’ll have to move, permanently or temporarily, within the next let’s say 5 years. Due to all the construction and renovation. Having fewer physical possessions handily stored in plastic boxes would make that a lot easier.
So. If I can manage to get half of it all done then that’s great. Something good will have come of it all. A new beginning. With super fast internet so I can upload giant rambling rants in no time hooray who wants to eat!
9/4 2018
—
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Did you miss the fuzzy butts?

9/4 2018
—
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That’s all for today. It’s good to be back. Thank you all for making me feel so welcome. My mind is all ajumbled. I’m going to for a long dreamwalk. Back tomorrow with more everything, if all goes well.
9/4 2018
—
.

End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this.. entry.

Taking one for the team
link: Milo cough video
19/3 2018
—
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If Putin doesn’t get 99% of the votes then I demand an investigation into America’s interference in the election!!!
19/3 2018
—
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What giant easter chocolate easter egg? I never said anything about a giant chocolate easter egg. You must be remembering wrong about the giant chocolat easter egg.
19/3 2018
—
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Todat will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn and the backpack. Plus bonus Peanut.

19/3 2018
—
.
Good goat times today. It was a beautiful, sunny morning. The air still a bit nippy, but without it was quite comfortable. I had planned to do a short visit, since I had some stuff I wanted to have time to do at home today. But the sun was being a jerk and kept shining and it got warmer. And then I took the goats out to graze and I knew if I left them then they’d be jerks and start their vicious, evil bleating to make me feel guilty. I couldn’t bear to pull them back to the pen and leave them alone. So I had to sit there and have a horrible time in the sun watching the goats graze and then kids came by and were excited by the goats and it was such a drag.
*SARCASM.GIF*
No, it was so good. Still a little cold, but this was the first real taste of spring. I can’t wait till it gets really warm and the grass gets fresh and I’ll be sitting in a t-shirt watching the goats. The grass isn’t fresh right now, but there’s enough vegetation for them to nibble on. And it’s so nice to have them out as a group. Honestly, I am surprised how well it’s going. I thought there would be more seperation. But they are running along together and getting along pretty well. Of course the big girls still mark their territory once in a while. Grandma can still growl if you get too near her when she’s eating something. But the little ones barely notice it. They are earning their place in the herd and not shying away from it. I wish Yogi could have had that too. But she was on her own, she was old and frail. And Mia and Mio were eager to establish dominance over their new home. Yogi was always happy just sitting down near them but not getting too involved. Milo and Sky get very involved They are earning their respect. Though I’m sure Mia and Mio think they are annoying little buggers. Haha. I only hope they’ll still be small enough to sit in my lap when we make it to summer. Hooves crossed.
19/3 2018
—
.
A taste of spring, finally.

19/3 2018
—
.
I got the bluuuuues ..kies.

19/3 2018
—
.
Yes, I wish to register a complaint about these pants. They keep shrinking. Also, do you have any of those giant chocolate easter eggs in stock?
19/3 2018
—
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Watchu gon do with all that fuzz?

19/3 2018
—
.
My eyes are shot. From being out in the sun I guess. Sometimes when I’ve been out for a long time it gets so bad I can barely read the screen. Gotta go rest. And dream.
By the way, a number of you have not yet returned the signed NDA I asked for. Please be advised that unless you sign it you are liable for all damages incurred and any defamation upon my character, heavens to Betsy! By reading this legal mumbo jumbo you agree to the conditions of the EULA, including the recently added clause about sacrificing chocolate easter eggs to me every fortnight or as soon as possible, see footnote 1a and please do not waive your right to remain pretty fly for great white shark words finish typing
19/3 2018
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

20/3 2018
—
.
Another school shooting, but who’s counting. Let’s arm those teachers. At this point maybe the students should walk out every day, I mean it’s safer for them if they aren’t actually inside the schools right?
Don’t worry, thoughts and prayers and NRA donations will solve it. Just tell the kids to shut up and accept their roles as target practice.
Fuming
link: teacher misfire story
20/3 2018
—
.
Before the rage

20/3 2018
—
.
goatlog

20/3 2018
—
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Hep

20/3 2018
—
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My spring sense is tingling.

21/3 2018
—
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All folks matter

21/3 2018
—
.
Ain’t no mountain high enough

21/3 2018
—
.
If you told me a few years ago that a pornstar tweeting this would be more credible to me than anything the actual President of the United States of America said then I’d look at you with a puzzled look and say “So…which pornstar..?”
.
Stormy Daniels
Verified account @StormyDaniels
Technically I didn’t sleep with the POTUS 12 years ago. There was no sleeping (hehe) and he was just a goofy reality TV star. But I digress…People DO care that he lied about it, had me bullied, broke laws to cover it up, etc. And PS…I am NOT going anywhere. xoxoxo
21/3 2018
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

21/3 2018
—
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If this post gets 50,000 likes then I will post something that’s worth 50,000 likes.
21/3 2018
—
.
I’d sell my soul for some pancakes right about now.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit much. But I’d lease it out with a generous purchase clause attached. IF you throw in the syrup. And some wooden nickels.
21/3 2018
—
.
Birdwatching

21/3 2018
—
.
I’m kind of curious. The people who defended Trump’s “locker room talk” and said that bragging about cheating on your pregnant wife was just normal male banter. Do you still think so? Do you still think that was just talk? How about the pussy grabbing? Just talk? Do you think the pornstars and playmates are all lying? Do you think Trump’s lawyer paid off the pornstar with his own money? Despite there having been no affair? Basically what I’m asking is, are there anyone out there who honestly believes that Trump did not and would not cheat on his wives while they were pregnant or with newborns? Honest question.
Still believe in the fake news and alternative facts rhetoric?
Also, I wonder what would have happened if the Austin bomber had been an Arab mailing bombs to white people. But hey, let’s congratulate Putin and setup meetings with the Rocket, man. Important business. Calling out sleepy tv hosts. Let’s see what we can do about the computer games industry, but not the gun industry. Looking for scapegoats in all the wrong places.
What a fucking shitshow. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
That’s what’s so insane about this.
It’s bizarre how far people will walk out the plank as long as it’s pointed in the general direction they want to go. I guess they figure they will be able to stop before they plunge into the shark-infested waters? Just give Trump a littlefinger, it’s not like he’ll take the whole, tiny hand.
Tralala. Also, I have to admit I’m a little disappointed in Ben Carson. I mean, we knew he wasn’t qualified. He said so himself before he then accepted the job anyway. But I hoped he was just dopey and unqualified. Turns out he’s just another guy maximising his profits, sticking his snout in the treasure chest. Looting the country. And then throwing his wife under the bus. Sheesh. Maybe you should let the homeless veterans sleep in the fancy government dining rooms.
And then there’s Betsy DeVos. How does that even happen? Just because you drain the swamp doesn’t mean you have to hire whatever you find creeping around in the bottom waste. Again, it’s almost hard to take seriously. I guess you’re too busy worrying about your kids getting shot in school to pay attention to whether they get a proper education in there? Priorities. Better to have dumb kids who are alive after all.
I keep thinking it can’t get any crazier but then I’m wrong.
*cartoon image of giant Donald Trump with tiny hands on Earth globe with a caption saying #MeToo*.
21/3 2018
—
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Fill my head with fuzz

21/3 2018
—
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Jebus, even reading the wikipedia summary of Jurassic Bark makes me tear up.
21/3 2018
—
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They put the crazies on the street, give them guns and feed them meat

21/3 2018
—
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I’m heading to bed now, so I’m afraid i’ll have to cancel the 11 o’clock show. If you guys need a refund just bring your tickets to the main office. Remember to bring some picture ID, preferably of yourself but we’ll accept if you can nickn one from some tosser on the street like. Slang mode off.
I’ll reschedule for another day and make sure to play a bonus encore set consisting of special counselling Trois words stop typing here.
21/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Thor from 2008.

22/3 2018
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Good goat times today. Altough the weather was a letdown. Cold and foggy. And with new snow on the ground. Not a ton. But enough to be too much. I’m pretty sure Mio will mail me a box of goat berries for making her go out in it. Oh well. I wasn’t expecting the cold so I wasn’t dressed quite warmly enough. Had to head home sooner than I’d liked. But so it goes. At least I got the goaties out and they did some grazing, in the thawed spots, and nibbling on branches. Life is what you bleat of it. Hopefully spring will spring back soon. Already got great goats, just need the weather to get on point too.
22/3 2018
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Oh come on, you goata be kidding me!

22/3 2018
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You’re lucky there is this giant wall of snow between us or I’d be busting your kneecaps, human.

22/3 2018
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You’ll never believe what happened to me in the supermarket today. A woman asked me if I wanted to taste some soup!
!!
So, we’re getting married and I’m quitting Facebook byeeeee.
Okay, just kidding. But she did offer me soup. It was a taste test thing. Unfortunately supermarket soup just isn’t good enough for me. I’m a soup snob. I hang out with the soup nazi and other good soup people on both sides. Still, this is going to be a great plot for my next rom-com.
22/3 2018
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The revolution will not be televised. But don’t worry, it’ll be available on DVD and digital download with a special commentary track by everyone you think is awful
22/3 2018
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Happy Eternal Paradox Day.
22/3 2018
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Come on. Grandma said to get his kneecaps.

22/3 2018
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I don’t usually do these things but I figure I would do this thing. Premium content. Hashtag interesting. It’s this thing or something about Trump’s lawyer. You’re welcome.

Favorite Smell – Goats.
First Job – Helper at a little publishing house, I guess.
Current job – Smelling goats.
Dream job – Goat sanctuary founder
Astrological Sign – Pisces Iscariot
Favorite Pizza – Yes.
Birthdate : March 15th. DID YOU MISS IT?!
Favorite Dog – Dog.
Favorite Cat – Cat.
Favorite Foot Attire – Cheap disposable sneakers.
Roller Coaster – That would be a negatory.
Favorite candy – Too much.
What are you listening to right now? Spaceheater buzzing
Color of your vehicle – Snorklish
Color of eyes – Coal
Favorite Holiday – Thanksgiving I guess.
Favorite day of week – Any day with goats
Tattoos – no
Piercings – no
Like to cook – As long as it only involves turning on the hotplate.
Beer or wine or neither – Pepsi Max.
Can you drive a manual transmission – I totally know what that is, thank you for asking.
Favorite color – red
Do you like vegetables – Some of them.
Do you wear glasses – Filter glasses. Used to wear regular glasses but they don’t work anymore.
Favorite season – Winter for the looks, summer for the feels.
Favorite movies – Shawshank, Star Wars
Favorite book – Couldn’t pick one, but 1Q84 has a special place in my heart for getting me into Murakami.
Favorite sport – The soccerball.
22/3 2018
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Heading into the fog. Don’t wait upside down.

22/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads from 2007.

23/3 2018
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Struttin

23/3 2018
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Last night I was thinking, a lot of things. Most of them are gone now like smoke rings fading in a pretentious metaphor. There was one thought, though, that I wanted to hang on to. It was, that having so many good people out there in Faceboxland who care about me makes it harder to dismiss myself. When I feel like the world would be happy if I wasn’t here, well I know there are at least some people out there who would not be happy if I was gone. So that’s something you all give me. Thank you for that. Even when I don’t see worth in my self, I know there are others who do.
23/3 2018
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Thank you, guys. And girls. And goats.

23/3 2018
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Explosion outside. The kind that feels like it’s on the verge of being a little too big to be fireworks..
Probably fireworks. But at 2:24 am and loud.
24/3 2018
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I wonder what I’d think of Boston Legal today. I loved it when it aired, but that was before I really knew even a little bit about American politics. I feel like watching it again.
24/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

24/3 2018
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There’s so much insane and crazy stuff going on in the world that I almost didn’t blink in shock when I heard that Ready Player One apparently doesn’t suck. Brb, gotta put all my frozen good in the hell freezer.
24/3 2018
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This comment made me happy!
“I will say the the sweetness of Grandma is what made me decide to get goats about 3 years ago!! Now, I’ve got a Grandma of my own and she is just as loving and sweet. What a great medicine – these animals :) Thank you ”
24/3 2018
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Haha. Too bad the photo isn’t technically that good and that my brain is frying, otherwise I’d have tried to make a meme out of this. Cracks me up.

24/3 2018
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All I want to do is eat and sleep. AT THE SAME TIME #fatworldproblems
24/3 2018
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Thank you very much to Christine Günther and Jill Fitts Mraz for the birthday cards! Thanks to the lateness of the postal service my birthday just keeps giving haha. Thank you for thinking of me!

24/3 2018
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Is it odd that I kind of find the situation of Red Dwarf appealing? Being the last living human millions of years into the future? Having a whole spaceship (more or less) to myself? I can see the appeal of that. Mainly that I wouldn’t have to deal with any humans. If I could just have Goat instead of Cat and a hologram of Kristen Bell instead of Rimmer and a Jessica Alba mechanoid instead of Kryten…
Yeah I’m sorry rest of humanity, but I’d take that. It was nice knowing you, but there are goldfish nibbling at my toes.
24/3 2018
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Actual Fake News. Targetted to help Trump. And the funny part is that Trump supporters will say this is Fake News.
I mean, I don’t know if Putin literally hacked the election. But if you don’t think the Russians influenced it then … well you haven’t looked at twitter the last couple of years. Click on any slightly political trending topic and it’s very easy to spot all the Russian Bot Farm accounts. I am sure there are pro-dem influencing bot types too. But the pro-Trump ones are everywhere. It reminds me, like a lot of other stuff going on, of the show Braindead. Where both Republicans and Democrats secretly started their own grassroots groups to influence everyrthing also there was brain controlling spacebugs.
But hey, it’s all good. Fake News are great as long as they’re helping [your side].
link: cambridge analytics article
24/3 2018
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Alright, alright, Laurel & Hardy.

24/3 2018
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Here’s to the marchers and everyone working for a better future. We have a lot of mouths and we must scream.
Also, can someone put a restraining order on Obama? He shouldn’t be allowed to be that Presidential, he’s making the sack of shit in a shirt look bad.
Just telling it like it is.
Literally side by side in my twitter feed:

The Associated Press
Verified account @AP
BREAKING: Trump issues order to ban most transgender troops from serving in military except under `limited circumstances.’
.
Bobby cannavale Retweeted
Barack Obama
Verified account @BarackObama
Michelle and I are so inspired by all the young people who made today’s marches happen. Keep at it. You’re leading us forward. Nothing can stand in the way of millions of voices calling for change.
24/3 2018
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I think we got rugrats under the floorboards

24/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys

25/3 2018
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I am eating salad. THIS IS A CRY FOR HALP
25/3 2018
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goatlog.
At least watch the first couple of seconds to hear Milo’s lil wail. What a ham.

25/3 2018
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Feathery fowl on the prowl

25/3 2018
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I am heading out to dine with the fambly. Belated birthday dinner with the parents and brother units. We are having risengrød. Rice porridge. That’s right, I’m celebrating my 40th birthday with porridge. This rockstar lifestyle is exhausting but somehow I make it look easy.
25/3 2018
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Back from the birthday dinner. Nice little time with the famle. Got some tech support time in too. And some of mama’s kikskage with me home. Mm m.
25/3 2018
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Okay, okay. We know you have a very fluffy butt, Milo. No reason to go flaunting it.

25/3 2018
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I feel like putting an AIM away message up on life.
25/3 2018
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Also, I just have to agree with everyone elwse in the world. Rick Santorum is such an asshole.
Telling kids they should learn CPR instead of looking for others to solve their problem?
You know, the problem of BEING SHOT IN SCHOOL. Translation: “Nah, we’re not going to do anything to try to stop you from being slaughtered in the school yards. You should focus on what to do WHEN you get shot”. Holy heckman, what a loathful frothface.
Nevermind that CPR isn’t the most effective thing against gunshot wounds. Beyond belief. He’s so horrible that I’m surprised he didn’t get elected president amirite?
25/3 2018
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And now, here’s your moment of goat.

25/3 2018
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Grandma’s cooking up a plan.

25/3 2018
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A tv series where Santa Claus solves crime during the summer months. And every time he catches a bad guy he looks at the camera and winks and says “you just made my naughty list”. PATENT PENDING
25/3 2018
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Remember when it was snowy out? Hopefully we’re done with that for this season.

25/3 2018
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I’m making a note here: beautiful goat.

25/3 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.