Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2013.

12/3 2018
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Good goat times today. Glad I made it out. It was one of those mornings when the darkness was telling me to just stay home and go to bed and dream it all away. Luckily there was the other voice telling me that visiting the goats is the one thing that will actually make me feel better. And luckily I listened to it. And of course it made me feel better. The moment I see those goats. Or, hear them through the door. I was pretty early today. On a very foggy morning. So foggy that crossing the street felt like [insert clever metaphor here].
And did those nutty goats cheer me up. I even managed to headbutt Mio! Haha. For real. She was standing in the entrance to the goat house and I was standing on the ground below. And I leaned down to tie my shoelaces. And knocked her right in the head. Good thing she didn’t decide to retaliate or I’d be writing this from the hospital bed and asking if you could tell me hwat my name is. Grandma didn’t bat an eyelid. We had some visitors come by too. I carried Milo over to the fence so the little kids could pet him. Always sweet. Other amusing moments:
Sky did a little raisin dance and manage to topple over and fall over in the snow. Aw, she’s our little Clouseau. She was fine, and enjoyed the handful of raisins that earned her.
Mio practically broke her neck trying to shoo the kids away from the goat house. You know that thing then they shake their head at something like “get away” she kept doing it and very fast too. And the little ones didn’t even care. It was really funny, and unfortunately I didn’t have my camera ready. And I didn’t think she’d keep doing it so I didn’t rush to get the camera. Until it was too late.
Kids in the kindergarten across the grass singing Let It Go with the lyrics “blablablabla LET IT GO blablablabla”. Mwaha. I also heard them talking about zombies. I think they were playing a game. Or discussing the last episode of The Walking Dead. Kindergarteners these days tsk tsk.
Plus lots and lots of sweet sitting around with the goaties. Good for what ails ya.
12/3 2018
—
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Can you turn off the fog machine, please? And get rid of the snow while you’re at it.

12/3 2018
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It was warm enough today that I actually took my coat off completely. Of course I still had a few layers under that. But still, it was quite nice.

12/3 2018
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This is my favourite sweater. My mother knitted it for me some… I don’t even know. 15? 20? Years ago. I feel like I have had it forever. I have acquired other sweaters over the years, but I always return to this one. It just feels comfy and familiar. So I don’t mind that it’s coming apart here and there. That’s pretty much how I deal with fashion. I don’t go to the doctor until it falls off completely and I don’t change the clothes until theyt fall completely apart. No wonder I’m so succesful at dating.
Oh also, Milo and Mia. I think Mia is more tolerant of Milo than of Sky, probably because he’s standing up to her more and earning some respect. But it’s all still in flux of course. But going pretty well.

12/3 2018
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This year for my birthday I wish for a personalized video from Elvis Costello performing Peace Love And Understanding and dedicating it to me. So, you guys have 4 days to make that happen. Get to it.
In return, my gift to all of you is that for this my birthday week I will not post anything about politics or guns or Trump or anything like that.
I mean, unless something happens that the world just NEEDS to hear my opinion on. But what are the odds of that… *maniac laughter*
Brb, better go check twitter.
STARRING KYLE MA
12/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

13/3 2018
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Looks like I picked a great week to not talk about politics. We’ve already made it to Tuesday and there’s definitely nothing crazy going on!
13/3 2018
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If you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as I go get the treats.

13/3 2018
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Mio following Finbarr. He was going in to feed Black Beauty. She lives in the stall with the door that leads out to the goat pen. So Mio thought it was time to head out to the pen. I had to go and drag her out, I don’t think Black Beauty would appreciate having a grumpy grandma goat as a roommate. Gotta wait until the horses have gone out, grandma!

13/3 2018
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Path obscured

13/3 2018
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Watch out for the Fuzzybutt in the corner.

13/3 2018
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goatlog

13/3 2018
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Shoutout to my mam for making matching sweaters for the clones.

13/3 2018
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Haha. I told you Milo is a brave boy. He does not accept being left out of pumpkinseedtime.

14/3 2018
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Oh hi Facebook

14/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

14/3 2018
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Hahaha. Thank you Cindy Porter for the musical card! It gave me a bit of a fright at first. I think the wires must have gotten pulled during transit, because it didn’t play when I opened the card. But I could feel there was something inside so I was jiggering with and then suddenly it started playing, but in a weird stopstarting way. Creeped me out! But then I managed to get it to play properly. Perfect! I shall play it when pizza arrives.
link: musical pizza card
14/3 2018
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Sigh. I have fire I feel like breathing. But since I’m not allowed to talk about politics I’ll just stay on the topic of animals. Like goats. I love goats. Sometimes lambs make me happy too. A tiny little lamb face to face with a giant opposition.

14/3 2018
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I do love lambs

14/3 2018
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Good grief, more lambs?!

14/3 2018
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Pondering the great mysteries of life. Like “What’s goat?” and “How goat?” and “more goat?”.
And so begins my long and succesful career as a person who poses very naturally for the camera.

14/3 2018
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Hand in hoof.
Heading to bed early. Tomorrow’s a big day. That’s right, It’s Belarus’ Constitution Day! Bring a keg, it’s going to be a wild one.

14/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. I’m gonna party like it’s my birthday.

15/3 2018
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Good goat times today. A cold wind, but not too bad. I had a good party-time with the goaties. Mia but on a jolly good show. One of the best yet. She was sprinting around like her tail was on fire. And then when the little ones got in the way they’d scatter and start running around too. And poor grandma had to suffer the indignity of being challenged by headbutts and mounting. Oh dear. But I got a good laugh out of it. And other than that it was just hanging out and relaxing. My kind of party.
15/3 2018
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Burpsday smooch

15/3 2018
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Insane Clown Posse: Origins
in theatres when the kickstarter succeeds.

15/3 2018
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updated his profile picture.
Thank you everyone for making my special day very special. I’m feeling the love, and I appreciate it! I am lucky in many ways, thank you for not letting me forget that. You are the special toppings on the pizza of my life. Sorry if I got too cheesy there.
hold for applause.
Hold for more applause.
Please, please you’re too kind.

15/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s the Ping Pong twins. I’ll try to catch up with everything shortly.

16/3 2018
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Thank you so much everyone for the birthday wishes. Nevermind Christmas, I wish it was my birthday every day! The love is overpowering. I have tried to reply to everyone, I apologise if I have missed any. I truly appreciate it.
I will be uploading a litlte surprise for you all later today. Don’t get excited, it’s not phenomenal. But I tell you what, hiring those circus acrobats and training the elephants cost a pretty penny.
(That’s a joke, It’s not that elaborate. Disclaimer disclaimer)
Now I’m going to sit here like Pavlov’s goat and wait for the doorbell so I can drool on the pizza delivery guy.
PS shoutout to my dad for bringing me a giant chocolate easter egg yesterday. I’m currently sitting on it waiting to hatch.
PPS thank you so much everyone for being with me, putting up with me, making me laugh, holding my hand when I stumble through the dark and all that. I wish the internet had been a thing during my worst days, it would have helped me a lot back then. I am glad to have the help now.
Also glad to have a place to ramble and ramble. The first such incident occured…

16/3 2018
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Do you think Netflix would sue us if all the goat content creators got together and made GoatFlix?
Also, if you’re a highly paid Netflix execute and you want to buy this idea call me.
16/3 2018
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This…. is why I don’t do vlogging. Haha. It was literally painful for me to just sit and talk to the camera. Which is why I had to delete 90% of the footage. And why I had to turn to Mio lots of times to just steady my nerves. And why I couldn’t raise my voice or talk assertively even though I was all alone with goats. Just massive anxiety and phobia trauma red alert pain. Even through a camera I can’t talk to humans. But anyway. I thought you all deserved a thank you. And I know you’ll be nice about it. So enjoy, I probably won’t do it again until I’m 80. I hope you can at least hear what I’m saying. I never talk out loud so I have no voice and I must icecream.
Ugh I can’t even stomach to look at it again, so I have no idea what I was saying. But I really really really appreciate that so many of you care about me, and the goats and what we do. You know I don’t feel like I deserve it. And I know I’m not great at giving back. But hopefully the goats make up for that. Whether you agree with all I say or you think I’m a crazy nut or you only read the first 20 lines of my 160 line posts or whether you just accidentally click the “add friend button” and now you don’t want to remove me because you don’t want to hurt my feelings. Or if this is all a fabricated reality made to test the effect of pizza on humanoid species. What I’m trying to say is what’s so funny about peace love and understanding?
with love from Denmarkistania.
link: humanvlog
16/3 2018
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you guys have made me very happy. First with birthday wishes and then with incredibly kind reactions to my talkie video.
Here’s another time I was really happy. Apparently. Being a kid at christmas. That was reason enough by itself.
Thank you all, love you all!

16/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mio with Medium and Large from 2013.

17/3 2018
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Happy St Puddy’s day.

17/3 2018
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A bit of fog from the other day.

17/3 2018
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goatlog

17/3 2018
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Hey, what’s going on over there? You better not be giving them treats.

17/3 2018
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I can’t believe they’re rebooting Stonerock And Harder. As if Cagney And Lacey and Starsky And Hutch wasn’t enough. Sheesh.
17/3 2018
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Hey buddy. What’s up?

17/3 2018
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Now that I’m hashtag old it’s fun to look back. I can’t count all the broken bones I had as a kid. But here’s one. And the red bricks of my childhood home,

17/3 2018
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Thank you Angeline Slaats! Another musical birthday card. I don’t know if you can tell by the video but I kinda started dancing in place to the tune. You definitely can’t tell that I was actually dancing in my underwear. I expect there’s a few of you out there cursing me for not turning the camera around.
Funnily enough the envelope had been opened by Danish customs. I’m not sure what they were expecting to find in a thin envelope from within Europe, but I hope the customs officers had a little dance too.
Thank you, Angeline!
link: musical card
17/3 2018
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All four love

17/3 2018
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Turning off for today. I am going to go dream a long time. I need to spend some time in the dreamscape. And I need to do some exercising when I get up tomorrow, so don’t be alarmed if I’m a little late. And once again, thank you all. You made my birthday and following days very special. And this might be the giant chocolate egg talking but, burp. I love the sea of outstretched arms. And when I turn 40 again next year, and the year after, and the year after, it’ll be great again. i can’t wait to turn 40 again for the next 40 years. Or however long. Thank you for being my friends. Please collect your gift basket at the door and don’t forget to sign the guestbook. It’s on my geocities site, go dig it up.
end transmission
17/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

18/3 2018
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What’s that you say? You want to see more pictures of Lasse and Peter: The Early Years? Well, since you’re subscribed to the premium channel I guess you deserve some exclusive content.

18/3 2018
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Oh no more clones

18/3 2018
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My mother must be getting tired of having to knit sweaters for the constantly growing army of clones.

18/3 2018
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Who’s a pretty boy?

18/3 2018
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Who’s a pretty girl?
And who’s a cute fuzzybutt in the background?

18/3 2018
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Under the tree, under the tree.

18/3 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.

I’m humbled to receive this award, that I stole from the back of a limo while Warren Beatty was out having a smoke.
5/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje enjoying some carrot in 2008.

5/3 2018
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Good goat times today. But the weather tricked me. I knew there would probably still be snow outside. I was not expecting it to be the most snow we’ve had this season. Or that it would be still coming down. I’m not saying it was a snow storm, but it was coming down well. The pavement cleared by homeowners with shovels as I was heading out, was snowed over again by the time I was heading back.
I had a foot therapy session in the morning. Barely made it there in time, since I wasn’t expecting wading through snow. My legs are going to be well done tomorrow. I was a little later than usual at the goats because of the session. Too bad. It would have been fun to be the one to let them out and watch their reaction to the snow. Instead I got their reaction to me when I arrived. Which was… scattered bleating from inside. No one coming running to the fence. Guess I can’t blame them. So I went into the pen to find them. All four were in the goat house. How nice! Not like they were all huddled up together, but they were all in there doing their thing. Which was mostly snacking on old christmas trees and hay. I feel pretty sure that Yogi, bless her heart, wouldn’t have stayed in there with the big girls. She would have been alone in the shelter or inside the stable. But we got a good little group forming. Of course the big girls are still making the rules and putting the little ones in their place now and then. But I think it’s going pretty well. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Milo is planning to take over the whole operation. He was butting heads with both Mia and Mio today! Nudging his face against theirs and doing little headbutting motions. Haha. I wonder if he’s going to be able to take charge when he’s bigger. He’s got the spirit. It’s fun when I’m giving treats to Mia and he comes over and circles around us and you can almost hear the gears working in his little head. “How close can I get before triggering the Mia defense system? Can I get in on the treat action?”. He’s going places.
Most of the time was spent in the goat house today. Loving on them all, watching the snow fall. Springtime in Denmark. I remember when Decembers were like this. Good thing there’s nothing wrong with the climate, amirite?
Yeah, lots of snow today. So that was… pretty great, really. It was actually much more unpleasant last week with the icy wind. A harsh, cold wind is worse than the snow. The snow is just around freezing, but because the wind wasn’t so hard it didn’t feel half as cold. And even though my system can’t handle the low temperatures anymore, there’s still a part of me that loves the snow. That loves walking through the piles of powdery prettyiness. We’ve barely had any snow this season, so I’m glad we got one good snowfall. Even though it’s supposed to be spring.
There’s just something sweet about goating in the snow.
5/3 2018
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Morning walk in the snow.

5/3 2018
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Please stop not objectifying me. I may be a vegetarian, but I am also a piece of meat. I demand that you ogle me. Cat calls and meows are welcome too. I’m too sexy for this snow, no way I’m disco prancing.

5/3 2018
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Mia consulted with grandma and came to the conclusion that, no.

5/3 2018
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5/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day.

6/3 2018
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There is no chaos

6/3 2018
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A Walk In The Snow, the directorial debut of Clone #3. Nominated for best short film about walking in the snow in March in Denmark by a person who loves goats, in the 2018 snowdance short film words keep typing squirrel
link: a walk in the snow video
6/3 2018
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Finally, a sign that tells the truth.
“Vej” means road in Danish. But if I painted in an R…. “vejr” means weather in Danish. So Novembervejr would be November weather.

5/3 2018
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Were you looking at my butt?!

7/3 2018
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Hey, in case you thought that Trump deep down was an alright guy because he didn’t go through with that whole lifting of the elephant trophy ban? Guess again.
Cue people explaining why it’s actually good for elephants that the trophy ban is lifted. And then maybe explain why it’s good for the bears that hunters can shoot them in the face while hibernating. And why global warming isn’t that bad because no one likes when it’s cold out.
Fuck the world, maximise the profits.
Oh by the way. Kids in Denmark watch American movies and TV shows and play American computer gamas and when I was 12 I played “war” with plastic guns with my school friends. Don’t blame all your mass shootings on violent media. And anyway, you try and get the NRA to accept a ban on guns in movies and TV. See how well that goes. Now let’s start a trade war or two, it’s not enough to destabilize our own country.
I hope you’ll consult the elephant on the case-by-case basis. Maybe you can get the school shooters to consult your kids before shooting them in the school yard too.
Rage against the insane machine.
link: npr article
7/3 2018
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updated his profile picture.

7/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

7/3 2018
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Hey, why the long face?
*hold for applause*
nailed it.

7/3 2018
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Maler stjerner på himlen. Lyden der brænder. Bølgerne er hænder. Trækkes ned i dybet. Himlen er så langt væk. Lyset er flammer. Alting brænder. Under vandet. Fiskene drukner. Alting brænder, du brænder dine hænder hvis du prøver at nå mig
7/3 2018
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My internet just outed a little. Back after a couple of minutes. But if I go missing, it’s either that or I’m being held hostage by a rogue gang of streetsign vendors.
7/3 2018
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Sometimes you need a little help from your friends…
The two top pics is Milo being top dawg. The two bottom pics is Sky being top dawg.

7/3 2018
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My mother called me to let me know that the Danish prime minister is apparently visiting my neighbourhood tomorrow.
To be honest, it’s a little rude of him not to call ahead. Does he just expect me to have enough pizza to feed him too?! (He’s a big guy with small hands. You know the type).
Okay, maybe he isn’t coming to visit ME specifically. As I have mentioned on occasion, I happen to live in one of the biggest ‘ghettos’ in Denmark. Although all the construction is aiming to change that. Maybe he’s coming to inspect the progress. Or maybe. Just maybe… Denmark is finally ready to appoint its first MINISTER OF GOATS. Thus the new world order begins. The socialist communist fairytale nation of Denmark shall be the first stepping stone on the road to the Goat Overlords taking over the world stop writing you’re giving away the secret plans where’s the delete butto
7/3 2018
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Bravely brave sir Milo head-to-head with Mia the dragon

7/3 2018
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Soylent snow is peopaahl

7/3 2018
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Eyes in the night

7/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mathilde and Mads from 2004.

8/3 2018
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Good goat times today. Cold and snowy. But not as bad as the last snow walk. And generally a beautiful day, light and fluffy anad pretty. I managed to get Mia jumping again. This time I didn’t need to be holding one of the babies. I just did what I did in those videos with Palle. Sort of stop-start, pretending I was going to run ahead and she started jumping about. I love it. It’s like she still has a spark of Palle in her. I hope I can keep bringing it out. Fun in the snow and lots of cuddles in the goat house. I’m glad we got some snowdays, even if it’s supposed to be spring. Like I told Finbarr, looking forward to sitting in sunshine with the goats.
8/3 2018
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What’s for dinner?
link: elderberry soup
8/3 2018
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The goat house is a really nice place to sit when it’s snowing. Also, one of the things I enjoy about it is the clickity clack of goat hooves. Especially when the little ones are inside and then the big girls arrive and enter. Then you hear the fast pitter patter of paws as the little ones rush to safe distance. Click… clack…. click…. clack…. *big girls arrive* clickclackclickclackclickclack
8/3 2018
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Happy International Women’s Day. Women are my favourite people, other than goats. Men rank fourth after giraffes wearing top hats.
Penguins are a wild card.
8/3 2018
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“Happy 40th birthday to The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, which began life on @BBCRadio4 #OnThisDay in 1978.”
I was born 1 week after the Hitchhiker started. Coincidence? I think salmon.
8/3 2018
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“Sorry, uncle Treatbag. No peanut, no selfie”.

8/3 2018
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Smoke signals from the moon. I must go investigate. Jeeves, bring my jetpack.
Oh wait, it’s the butler’s week off. I guess I’ll have to defrost the I Can’t Believe It’s Not A Butler. If you want, call me at this toll free number: [enter decryption code to view number]. Now, bing bang boom, straight to the moon. Oh hi, room.
8/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday.

9/3 2018
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goatlog

9/3 2018
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Black Beauty in the snow.

9/3 2018
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Milo checking in.

9/3 2018
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Wanna build a snow, man?

9/3 2018
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Trying to live your life on the edge of a cliff
10/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Yo, Peanut.

10/3 2018
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So, it’s a mental health issue, not a gun issue? Well maybe you should pour some of that fat NRA money into that so people who need PTSD treatment can actually get it. It was probably easier for him to get guns than to get that treatment. It’s so fucking awful. And you want to arm veterans and put them in schools to protect the children? Are you going to give guns to the children and get them to protect the veterans then?
It makes me think of that Simpsons bit where Mr Burns has ALL the diseases which keeps him alive because it’s the perfect storm and all the diseases keep eachother in check. It seems like that’s what America’s solution to the gun problem will be. EVERYONE needs a gun to keep everyone in check.
For fuck’s sake it’s so sad. For the female victims. For the veteran. From the information out so far he served America in Afghanistan and was kicked off a PTSD treatment program. You give tax breaks for private jets but you don’t take care of the people that risk their lives for your country god damn motfherf
10/3 2018
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Goats for the front page

10/3 2018
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Premium superHD bonus content. Setting up the cam and getting ready in the snow.
link: setup video

—
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And all I can taste is this moment.

10/3 2018
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Look what I got! Thank you CarolAnn Ellis for the card! I love it! And the sticker are great too! Wait, they are stickers right? I guess I should check if they stick or not. But they put a big smile on my face, thank you for thinking of me!

10/3 2018
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But uncle, it’s snowing outside.

10/3 2018
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More superHD premium content. Setting up in teh snow. In the beginning when i’m chuckling and the camera is shaking, that was the babies trying to climb the tripod. Sorry for pointing my rear at the camera. I know I’ll get complaints about that, you prudes.
link: behind the scenes video
10/3 2018
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(voting now closed)

Hey guys, it’s one of those things where I post some things and ask you which one you like the best. In the comments will be 3 pictures. Tell me which one you like the best?
I haven’t really been able to hit something that fulfills the idea I had properly, but it’s not going to get ay better so one of these will have to do.
(voting now closed)
10/3 2018
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We’d like to thank everyone who voted for the meme. And Mia… would like to thank you all for the raisins and peanuts and tomatoes and… what are you on about, Mia? Have you been getting treats from everyone? Sheesh, I thought I was special. Anyway words type many squirrel keyboard

10/3 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

11/3 2018
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By the way, I never got to meet the prime minister. Can’t believe he was in the neighbourhood and didn’t drop by. I was so upset I could hardly eat the extra pizza I had ordered for him.
11/3 2018
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Wobbling along on a broken mind
11/3 2018
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After careful consideration, no.

11/3 2018
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If anyone wants a signed autograph, just send me an autograph and I’ll sign it. I charge ONE MILLION millions.
11/3 2018
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Are we getting bored of the clones yet? Well, here’s another couple.

11/3 2018
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If only there was some way to make the trip to the goats easier in this kind of weather. If only there was some kind of magical way to get there without having to walk in the cold snow. Maybe some kind of fantastical, large, yellow vehicle piloted by someone with perfect eyesight that let you ride on it for a fee. If only such a thing was real, if only humanity could inv

11/3 2018
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Postcards from the frozen zone

11/3 2018
—
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goatlog

11/3 2018
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The clones strike back

11/3 2018
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Fuzzybutts on parade

11/3 2018
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You know when you look awful in a selfie but your friend looks graet so you take one for the team and post it anyway?

11/3 2018
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Feed the beast

11/3 2018
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Stuck in the middle

11/3 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.