That’s a little rich for my blood, as the vampire said when he saw the membership fee at the blood bank.
15/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Fuzzy and a raisin from 2016.

15/1 2018
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Good goat times today. Some silly goating. Mia was mounting Mio again. Tsk tsk. Silly goaties. In general Mio still seems to be in charge, but her authority does not seem as rock solid anymore. Mia is not backing off so easily. We shall see how this all ends up. The baby goaties are still super adorable, in case you were wondering. Loving their raisins. Especially Milo. Once he gets one he gets super frantic wanting more. Like me with pizza. And I noticed they’re wagging their tails when they’re jumping up on me for treats. Not Mia levels of wiggles, but still super cute. Grabbing their bellies is like holding a miniature volley ball. So chubby. And so soft and fluffy.
Mia managed to spook herself. She was trying to climb up on one of the little hockey goals that’s laying on the grass lawn. Then it sort of toppled over and made a loud noise and she jumped away like it had caught fire. They get scared of loud noises, even if they’re making the noise themselves. Kinda like me when I pass gas.
15/1 2018
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Out early this morning, still dark.

15/1 2018
—
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Guess who again turned on the wrong hotplate and nearly exploded a plate? This time I caught my mistake in time and prevented the explosion, but was a close one.
I am very tired.
15/1 2018
—
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Everybody’s out grazing. While the kindergarteners watch. Had a little chat with one of the ladies at the fence. Can you guess what her first question is? I’ll give you a hint. The answer is “No, Mio is not pregnant”.

15/1 2018
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Yes, I guess they’re a little cute. I mean, if you like goats I’spose.
Alice made me promise not to give them any pumpkin seeds because there’s too much fat in them. And by “in them” I mean the pumpkin seeds. But also the goat kids. Haha. They are so cute and chubby. They almost waddle like little mini Kamels.

15/1 2018
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That’s it for today. I’m off to the dreamscape where explosions are a lot less dangerous and dynamite is always on sale. We are red, we are white, we are Danish dynamite. You’re welcome, fans of Danish soccer in the 80s, Remember to get your hand stamped on the way out. Otherwise it will be returned as undeliverable by the postal service and we’ll never find out what is the sound of one hand klopfing. Do not be alarmed. I am merely testing the boundaries of reality. If it breaks, just put a pot on your head and wait for the Ragnarok to finish. Fyor Odin, hau! Fyor Thor, mak!
Eh, mac arena?
15/1 2018
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

16/1 2018
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The spacetower looks even better in the dark.

16/1 2018
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Hard to make it out of bed today. Dreams are so beautiful, the bed is so warm. The alarm clock is so easily difused. I need one where I have to guess if I have to cut the red or black wire and if I get it wrong it explodes like a hot plate in my hand. The real world needs to step up its game if it wants me to stay here. Fiction and dreams are way ahead of the game right now.
16/1 2018
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goatlog, from the new year morning

16/1 2018
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All this time looking for a girlfriend and all I really needed was my clone and some baby goats #blessed #TrueLove

16/1 2018
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I sometimes get asked how my name is pronounced. This is a pretty close approximation and should answer the question, while possibly raising several others like “How?” and “Why?” and “pizza?” and “Lemon curry?”
link: Lasse video
17/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

17/1 2018
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Morning walks
link: dark morning video
17/1 2018
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Do you ever wish you were a giraffe?

17/1 2018
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New Eels. Mmm. There was a time when I counted them around my top 3 favourite bands. Their last few albums haven’t quite hit those highs for me. I really like this track. I hope the rest of the album lives up to it. When E gets it right he hits right in the core of me, more than any other songwriter.
Here’s to hoping for the reconstruction.

17/1 2018
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Nobody puts baby in the corner. Or, if baby is already in the corner then nobody takes baby out of the corner. Unless baby has explicitly requested being taken out of the corner. Look, can we just agree not to mess with the whole “baby and the corner” situation? In the current climate I don’t feel comfortable addressing the issue without having a deeper understanding of the possible ramifications.
17/1 2018
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I am feeling a bit of an existential crisis. Am I? Or am I not? Answers on a postcard please.
Did you know I’m turning 40 in March? I am sure that will shock many since I look 14 and act 12, But I’ll be in my 40s. I don’t know how to feel about that. Fat, maybe. Or old. Something like that. I honestly didn’t really think I’d live this long. Haha. I don’t know why. It just didn’t seem likely. Well, I haven’t made it to 40 yet. But hooves crossed and all. 2018. The dystopian future snuck up on us. Truly this is the Empire Strikes Back of humanity. The dark middle chapter. Let’s just hope we make it to Return of the Jedi and our happy ending. Even if we will have to live with the Ewoks. (Don’t tell anyone, but I like Ewoks. Lightly roasted with some butter and ranch dressing. Just kidding. I hate ranch dressing. Okay, I don’t actually know what ranch dressing is. A sombrero and flare jeans?).
Anyway, my point is… something something I’m going to bed wake me when it Yub Nub time. You guys ponder mortality while I’m gone and I’ll come back with fart jokes omorrow.
17/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here is Vanilje and Magnethe from 2008, two lovely sisters.

18/1 2018
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Good goat times today. A light sprinkling of snow on the streets. Cold, but at least the wind wasn’t bad. Little loud bleats from the newbies as I unlocked the door and let myself in. Breakfast for the big girls and floor sweeping for the little ones. They were muchly admired today. First by the kindergarteners next door, assembling at the fence, asking me to bring the goat kids over so they could pet them. Later a passing group of kids, probably a daycare or something similar. One kid yelling out “SANTA’S FORGOT HIS HAT HERE”. Yes, the santa hat is still hanging on the fence. Lots of funny and sweet moments today. One of the (goat) kids came running to get to the fence for treats and jumped up on the Yogi rocks. And then tumbled down because it was slippery with snow. Oh dear. Didn’t even stop them in the tracks, just back up and over for a raisin. Later on I was sitting with Sky in my lap. She was nibbling on my fingers (they get VERY nibbly when they have a taste for raisins) and then she let out a little yawn and settled down to rest. Aw. Wish I’d had the camera going. That’s the second time I’ve seen one of the little ones yawn, but I need to get it on film. Big goat yawns are cute but so are little ones. Gosh, everything the little ones do is cute. I had all four goats out of the pen without tying the big girls down. Four goats on the loose. It went fine, but it’s a little hard to keep track of them all. Because they obviously split up in two groups. And don’t necessarily stick together. And then add to the fact that they all blend in well with the snow haha. Gotta be on my toes.
Oh and we got ourselves a new inmate. A horse called Shadow. He’s a fine looking fella. He has replaced Perle, who has gone to live at another place. I look forward to getting to know him.
18/1 2018
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Milo on the rocks. No fall this time. I think you can see the skidmarks on the rock to the left of him.

18/1 2018
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Got some good news today. A couple of people have been asking about Mousy. I actually haven’t seen her all year. And there’s something else. I didn’t tell you guys because I didn’t know for sure what had happened, but all the way back around christmas Finbarr had told me that Mousy might be dying. They were trying their best for her, but it didn’t look good. And since then I hadn’t seen her. Because of the holdiays and the phobias I wasn’t able to get a proper update until today. I actually thought she would have been dead, but no. She’s still alive, thankfully. She’s been hanging out in riding room, next to where the goats and horses live. So that’s why I haven’t seen her. I think she’s a very old cat. I don’t know if I’ll be seeing her out in the barn again, maybe when the weather gets better. Or maybe she’ll be living in there permanently now. I’ve been missing her meows, but I’m glad she’s still with us.
18/1 2018
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Tried out a new treat today. Not sure what it’s called, but it’s some kind of pasta. It’s VERY cunchy and judging by Mia and Mio’s reaction it’s VERY tasty. Big hit.

18/1 2018
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Yes, I am also shocked that when you elect a trashy reality show star he will turn around and turn the presidency into a trashy reality show. But thank you so much for this award for biggest shithole of the year. I couldn’t have done it without god and the three corinthians and Stormy Daniels.
18/1 2018
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As luck would have it
link: Milo & Sky video
18/1 2018
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That’s all for today. This snowflake is going to fall gently to the bed and become one with whole. An avalanche of love upon you, gentle souls with weary soles. Don’t say farts, don’t say farts, don’t say farts. Farts. DANGIT. Well, gotta get all the farts out before I’m forty. Hang on this could be a bumpy ride. We are experiencing some turbulence. Strap yourselves in and put a bag over your head and pretend that this is normal. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to breathe again.
See you tomorrow, somewhere in the fog.
18/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Herman from ’14, what a mighty dude.

19/1 2018
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goatlog

19/1 2018
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This is Shadow, our new horse. Not a very good photo. I’ll try to get a better one of him outside soon.

19/1 2018
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Time always slows to a halt when you’re waiting for the opening hour of the pizza place. *looks anxiously at the computer clock in the corner*. Just gotta survive another 8 minutes.
Of course, then it grinds to an absolute stop when you wait for the pizza to get delivered.
19/1 2018
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Always adored

19/1 2018
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The next time you’re voting for a president, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to close your eyes and imagine there’s a rumour about the person you’re about to vote for that says he (or she, not that there’s anything wrong with that) is married and just had a kid.. and was being spanked with a Forbes magazine by a pornstar and later paid her hush money to keep it quiet. Now if your reaction is “NO WAY that simply cannot be, I cannot even imagine it in theory” then you’re good. If your reaction is a shrug of the shoulders and a “that seems likely” then don’t vote for him. Or her. But really, it’s a he.
Now I’m not saying the rumour is true or not. I’m just saying, if it fits in with everything else you know about him. Or her. But you know it’s a him.
19/1 2018
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Do you get high from the tide challenge? High tide? Is that a thing? Get off my lawn kids, don’t make me turn this flying car around.
19/1 2018
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It’s Friday and you know what that means. Extra special premium behind the scenes never seen before grade a bonus content. I feel like the more you build up the expectations the less likely you are to fail. Fingers crossed! Here’s Mio watching me get ready to treat her. That was the can I keep pumpkin seeds in that I dropped.
link: Mio video
19/1 2018
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Somewhere, santa’s ears are freezing.

19/1 2018
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This is a very stable table.
*table wobbles back and forth*
That was just orbital wobble. We have the best tables.
(A scene from my new infomercial for my Stable Tables And Other Fables)
19/1 2018
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One of the things I don’t like about winter is that my camera gets fogged up when I keep it in my pocket. I guess my body heat makes for a temperature difference when I take it out and that fogs up the lens. It takes a little for the fog to clear, which really sucks when you’re doing goat photography and they do something cute but you can’t film it because it’s all foggy.
On the plus side, I could probably make a living doing romantic photography.

19/1 2018
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I’m just glad they didn’t name him Århus Vest.
8210 represent
19/1 2018
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Oh hay I forgot to mention that one of the little newbies, I’m pretty sure it was Milo, managed to steal the treatbag out of my pocket the other day. I was so proud. A new little pickpocket on our hands.
19/1 2018
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More PREMIUM bonus content. Here’s what Milo & Sky do when I set up the camera. They eat. They keep on eating. They never stop eating.
Fuzzybutts.
link: Milo&Sky video
20/1 2018
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all i need

20/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Bruce says so.

20/1 2018
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Well, you can’t fault the logic. Making America great again was always going to require getting rid of the government.
20/1 2018
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A happy birthday to my brother-man, Peter. I hope you get your new kidney sooner rather than later. Skål og ski vær mejet
20/1 2018
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Yo, the cool kids are in the house. Yo yo.

20/1 2018
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Here’s a reminder: Both sides are stupid. In all arguments. Their side think you’re stupid just like your side think they’re stupid. If you have to argue on the internet, please don’t do it on my posts. At least not aggressively. Whether you agree with my side or not. To be clear, I don’t mind you stating your opinion. At all. But don’t like pointless fighting. No one is going to change their minds because of comments on some random snowflake’s Facebook post. Or a meme. You’re either preaching to the choir or falling to deaf ears. I have a hard time dealing with it because I don’t want people to feel unwelcome or attacked but I also don’t want to censor people. Especially people I don’t agree with. I would like people to feel they can say what they want without being attacked. I also know that if you go into ‘enemy territory’ where most people disagree with you and post your opinion, there’s a good chance you’ll get attacked. Fighting back accomplishing nothing. Because you’re arguing on the internet. We’re all losers in that fight.
I mean for fuck’s sake the Republicans control the house and the senate and the white house and they couldn’t keep the government open. You think we’re going to fix that on the Facebook page with a guy who has 300ish friends, half of which are probably inactive accounts. Just let it go, man. Let it go. I post my opinions because it’s my profile and I need to vent and make dumb jokes. I’m not doing it in order to foster a debate that will make the world better in time. The goat posts have a better chance at that. So if you disagree with my opinions, just ignore me. If you disagree with someone’s comment on my opinion, just ignore it. And if you can’t ignore then try to be polite. And if you can’t be polite then think of the fact that if you’re out to make snowflakes/republicans cry then it’s people like me or other good people who sit with baby goats. Those are the people you’re trying to make cry. And make mad. People like you and me. There are good people on both sides. And everyone is stupid. Can’t we all just not get along?!
DON’T MAKE ME RANT ABOUT THIS AGAIN. YOU WOULD NOT LIKE LASSE MAD. LASSE SMASH.
I’m very tired please forgive the spellchecker elves they haven’t been fed in 3 years because all my checks bounce because I spent the money on magic beans. Worst pizza topping ever.
I haven’t even unfriended people who post straightup racist stuff. Or believe in pizzagate. Or think soccer is boring. That’s how unconfrontational I am. Don’t make me start to unfriend people and only post privately.
Look, the point of all this is… life is short and I was just reading about Dying Earth subgenre fiction and we’re all going to be dead in 50,000 years so don’t forget to wear sunscreen.
20/1 2018
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Here’s a reminder: goats

20/1 2018
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Here’s a reminder: I’m going to bed. To the dreamworld where everything makes sense and there are no alarms and no surprises. Ding dong, you dingdongs. Bells and whistles. Sirens and buzzing fridges. Everywhere is noise. You know what I like to do? When I sit in the shower, which is a thing I do. I like to put a finger in one ear. And then turn my head sideways and let the water run into my other ear. Then the whole world goes quiet and all I hear is the thundering of the waterfall onto my head. You know the scenes in the Lord Of The Rings movies when they put on the ring and they’re like transported into a shadowy otherrealm? That’s how I feel like when all the sound of the world is blocked out. I feel like I’ve entered into a shadowy otherworld, where no one can see me. I do wonder if there are monsters hunting for me in that otherworld too. But so far I have survived all the showers. Please quote all this if I die some day by slipping in the shower.
For the record, I like having friends who disagree with me and eachother. I just don’t liek having friends who shout and are mean to each other.
Well, goodnight.
20/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday. guys.

21/1 2018
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A body of ashes, petrol in the veins. This place is not real, this is just a place that pretends. I do not belong here, I burn it all down.
21/1 2018
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Has anyone seen grandma Mio? No? Hmm, well I’m sure she’ll turn up.

21/1 2018
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My clone and me we hang around with goats

21/1 2018
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I would make a really bad phone tech support guy. It takes me 5 minutes just to talk my dad out to the desktop.
21/1 2018
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goatlog

21/1 2018
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Tiny feetsies.

21/1 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.

Today will be a good day. Here’s Mathilde from 2005. Winning her trust while she was still scared of humans.

8/1 2018
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Good goat times today. Freezing cold. Frost on the grass. But a nice walk as the sun was rising. And a lovely, sunny day. Just very cold.
The little ones are getting more sure of themselves. In the beginning when I let them out they’d come out slowly and look around carefully. Now it’s like seeing Kamel being let out the gate. They go straight around the corner to the food storage and start hoovering the floor for whatever may have been dropped there. Their cute little fuzzbutts gone in a flash.
I took the little ones out in the pen and gave them some hay. And then I took the big girls out for a little walk. Just me and them, like the good old days before the little intruders came and spoiled it all! I figured Mia and Mio deserved some time alone with me. Treats and cuddles were had and then we joined the newbies in the pen.
I do am still wondering if Mia is trying to overtake leadership of the cult. Mio seems less dominant. At breakfast she stayed in the back of the stall, eating from her bucket. No chasing Mia. Even when I gave them some spaghetti she only did one little growl. Normally she’s grunting and woofing and chasing Mia away. But Mia is standing her ground mostly now it seems. Maybe it’s the arrival of the babies that has shaken up the hierarchy a little. Or maybe it’s just that Mia and Mio are both getting older. It’s easy to forget that before Palle passed away he actually dethroned Mio for a while. Maybe Mia’s time is coming now. I will miss Mio being all bossypants if that’s the case. She’s so funny with her growls and grunts and huffing and puffing. We’ll see. There was no mounting today.
Also I didn’t trip and nothing exploded. Not bad.
8/1 2018
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Walking with the sunrise

8/1 2018
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The fuzzybutts are on the prowl.

8/1 2018
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Out of this world
8/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

9/1 2018
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Fambly

9/1 2018
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Thank you for calling the Cthulhu hotline. All our operators are currently busy wreaking havoc on Earth. If you leave a message after the horrible shriek of pain then we will get back to you as soon as possible.
9/1 2018
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I’d just like to take this opportunity to once again briefly (fat chance) thank you all for your friendshipboats. Whether you’ve sent me amazing gifts or wonderful carts or comments or messages or likes or any of the sorts, or just been around. I appreciate it and feel very blessed. I don’t know how I got so lucky. I blame the goats for a lot of it. When you write the story of my life the goats will be a huge part of it because through them I have met such amazing people. I am also greatful for the oldtime friends who knew me before the goats. I can’t imagine any of you from back then would have guessed I’d end up like this, the goatman. But then I’ve seen some of you grow from young friends to parents of beautiful children. And while I’m not saying the idea of you as parents was an impossibility to imagine, it’s still not something you think about when you’re hanging out talking about The Smashing Pumpkins and how annoying it is that the NSPAA only opens after midnight etc. Wherever life takes you, it will probably be somewhere you didn’t think you’d end up.
But yes, thank you all. There was a time in my life when I felt very alone. Now I always know that there is friends and family that care about me, and that frankly is the difference between life and death. All or nothing. I’m always worried that because of my flaws in humaning people don’t realise how much I appreciate what they do for me. I’m not great at communicating. But I hope you still know. And I’m glad if my goat pals can give you a smile once in a while, because I love sharing them. They are my bubble where I can hide away from the world when it gets too hard to bear. But you guys are the reason that the real world is still worth keeping in touch with.
Unless you are all figments of my imagination, which I haven’t totally ruled out yet. Quick somebody pinch me. (BACK AWAY FROM THE LASSE, SEAN).
So in conclusion I’d like to thank the academy, and you. Mostly you. Really, the academy has done nothing for me. Where’s my award?!
That was briefly it. See you in the funny goat pages.
9/1 2018
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We also like treats

10/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

10/1 2018
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Peculiar. I was sitting on the steps with the newbies. The camera on a tripod to do some filming. Then Mia came running over. I figured either she’d go in the house to nibble at the christmas tree. Or come chase the little ones away to be with me. But then instead she went by us and over to the side of the house like this. I put the babies down and went over to the tripod to take a picture. I have no idea why she went to stand there. Maybe she was hiding from grandma. You know there’s gotta be payback sometime, Mia.

10/1 2018
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There is a river, and I always embrace it. As it embraces me.
10/1 2018
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Oprah/Letterman 2020
And a seat on the Supreme Court for Judge Judy.
We now live in a timeline where I’m not sure if I’m joking or not.
10/1 2018
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That’s all for today. My eyes can’t take anymore looking at the screen. Time to flow down the river into the dreams. There is a forest where I walk alone but you are always with me. There is a garden where the flowers never grow but are always in bloom. Follow the yellow brick road, but stay out of the yellow snow. The yeti haven’t invented plumbing yet. How abominable, said the nun to the seaman.
I think I ate some bad carpe.
10/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s the sweet goof Popcorn from 2015.

11/1 2018
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Good goat times today. I headed out real early. Twas a dark and foggy morning. It was actually a little eerie. Plus I was listening to a Stephen King audiobook. Haha. At least I wasn’t listening to The Mist. It really was like walking in The Mist.
I figured that I was out so early that I’d get to let the goats out, but no. They were already outside when I got there. I mean, the earlier they get to go out the better. But I like when I get to give them breakfast and take them out. Mia was standing guard outside the new goat house. She bleated when I came around the corner, but she didn’t come running over to me. It might have been all the mud in the way. Or maybe she couldn’t identify me in the fog. She did bleat after me a little later when I went to get some hay, so I think she still likes me.
Although I better be careful. I was sitting with the little ones, giving them raisins. And I turned around and there was Mia and Mio side by side staring at me with an expression that said “You son of a bitcoin. We shall never forgive you for this”. Luckily they immediately forgave me when I handed out peanuts to them.
Yeah, the newbies have got a taste for raisins now. And they’re little piggies begging for more! They’re starting to recognise the signs too. They know something exciting is happening when I reach for my pocket or they hear the plastic bag rustle. I think Milo is the biggest glutton. He was a little more shy when they first came here, but now he gets very eager when he gets a raisin and he practically tries to bite my fingers off looking for more. Yeah, they’re both growing. They seem to be feeling a little more secure. They still spend all the time next to each other, but now I can pick one up without them both bleating like crazy for each other. At one point one of them was in the shelter and the other was in the goat house and they weren’t complaining. I guess that means they’re starting to feel safe and secure here. No longer panicking when they’re on their own. But I hope they never lose that bond. So cute to see them go everywhere together. Fuzzybutts.
When it was time for me to leave they both came running to the fence too! That made me happy. Mia and Mio were there to get a goodbye treat, but I wasn’t expecting the little ones to come running to say goodbye too. Sweetness.
11/1 2018
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Here is Mia in the fog.

11/1 2018
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Black Beauty was inquiring if I had some cucumber and could she have it?

11/1 2018
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I feel a great disturbance in the force. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
Oh sorry, it was just gas. Pardon me.
11/1 2018
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Tuning out for today. Heading into the fog of dreams. Embracing the river. Stringing a hammock between the moon and a star. You guys can admire Milo and Sky while I’m gone.
That was an order. ADMIRE THEM!

11/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Choko getting some love in 2008.

12/1 2018
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Premium bonus content, behind-the-scenes extravaganza. That story about Mia coming over and standing next to the goat house? It’s almost like you can see it happening!
link: Mia video
12/1 2018
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A family news update. Not the greatest. While my dad’s tumor was benign it has still messed enough with his kidney that he will not be allowed to donate it to my brother after all. My mom and I are not possible donors either. So that means he’ll have to wait for an outside donor to become available. As my dad says it could be in 5 weeks or 5 years. That’s really too bad. Originally we had hoped the transplant would have happened last year already. But so it goes. We’ll carry on. Hoping for the best in the end.
12/1 2018
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Where’s Fuzzybutts?

12/1 2018
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Since I’m done making divisive political posts, I’m definitely not going to comment on the opening of last night’s The Good Place.
link: The Good Place video
12/1 2018
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Don’t worry, I won’t go overboard on the fog photos again. Just this one.

12/1 2018
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The newbies may be fuzzybutts but I am muddybutt. I need to get my coat washed I think.
No, I am NOT showing you video of my butt. That’s where I draw the line, while I’m sober at least.
12/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mads being a good showgoat in 2007.

13/1 2018
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Don’t throw paper towels if you live in a shithole
13/1 2018
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alone within myself again

13/1 2018
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Får får får`NEJ, får får ik får for fanden. Forfra. Hvor kom vi fra. Hvor skal vi hen, du? Sku du spør fra noen? Malkekoen muher og springer over regnbuer og månelander på en landmine med en grimasse der kan passe, pas dig selv go to helledusseda gid jeg var i andeby og blev der.
Your move, google translate.
13/1 2018
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Frost. We’re heading into the coldest months. I assume we’ll get snow sooner or later. You guys tell me about it when I come back from hibenation.

13/1 2018
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T-shirt idea: Map of Europe with the text “I’m with Shithole” on Denmark and an arrow pointing to Norway. Which is next to us. I think. Geography, am I right?
By the way, I don’t think Americans should be allowed to be offended at language anymore when you have a president that uses that kind of language. Allegedly. Also cheats on his wives (plural intended). Allegedly. Hashtag lamestream snowflake fake news. Because we all know that even though it’s just one thing after another after another and on and on and on, it’s all fake. Everything negative is fake news and Trump is a stable genius. Allegedly.
Can you just admit he’s a piece of shit already? It’s okay you gotta vote for him because abortion and guns. But just admit he’s a sack of shit in a shirt and that Jesus would be appalled if he came back right now. There’s nothing fucking godly about the cyclonefartmouth-in-chief. Shit shit shit.
This message brought to you by the Don’t-Give-A-Fuck-Duck and the One In The Shithole One In The Pussy Grabmaster 3000. Sorry not sorry. Sigh. You better be busy jerrymandering the ovaltine. My references are timely and up to date. Hay o.
13/1 2018
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Idea for a TV show: Lin-Manuel Miranda has to cook a meal for Gordon Ramsey and Gordon Ramsey has to write a musical for Lin-Manuel Miranda. PATENT PENDING
13/1 2018
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Goat conductor.
PS Where’s Fuzzybutt?

13/1 2018
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Hey, guys could you help with looking at two photos and telling me which version looks best to you?
No right or wrong answer, if you can’t pick one that’s an answer too.
Pictures in comments. A or B.
13/1 2018
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Feetsies and teefsies.

13/1 2018
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That’s all for today. I am tired, in more ways than one. I shouldn’t have let reality creep into my head. It’s like the bad guy in a horror movie. You think it’s dead, but then suddenly it’s back with an axe and a can of gasoline. THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE SHITHOLE.
I’ll try and cool it with the swearing and politics. For my own sake. Now I’ll let my blanket cover me. Embrace the river and let it take me. Take me to the place where reality has no hold and where there are no doors because there is no need for walls. Walk among the stars or along the riverbed. The only limits are the ones you put upon yourself. Break the chain, leave the game. Just breathe the water or the blank space. You are the stars, you are the fish in the river. You see what you want to see.
Too much? Not enough? I guess it depends on what scale you’re measuring by.
13/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

14/1 2018
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One thing I miss about the old playground is the slopes. Sitting on a hillside in the sunshine with goats. And then watching them all run down the hill when taking them in. That was always fun.
14/1 2018
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I got the whole world in my hands

14/1 2018
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goatlog

14/8 2018
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I think my clones are planning to kidnap the kids.

14/1 2018
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As a thank you for subscribing to my premium channel please enjoy this never before seen exclusive behind the scenes bonus footage of Mia and Mio watching me set them up the camera. Premium content!
link: Mia and Mio video
14/1 2018
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“There’s beauty in the breakdown”. I love that line.

14/1 2018
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If any of you got a warning text about an incomming gas emission, don’t worry. I managed to hold it in.
14/1 2018
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Be oh so quiet

14/1 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.