That’s a little rich for my blood, as the vampire said when he saw the membership fee at the blood bank.
15/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Fuzzy and a raisin from 2016.

15/1 2018
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Good goat times today. Some silly goating. Mia was mounting Mio again. Tsk tsk. Silly goaties. In general Mio still seems to be in charge, but her authority does not seem as rock solid anymore. Mia is not backing off so easily. We shall see how this all ends up. The baby goaties are still super adorable, in case you were wondering. Loving their raisins. Especially Milo. Once he gets one he gets super frantic wanting more. Like me with pizza. And I noticed they’re wagging their tails when they’re jumping up on me for treats. Not Mia levels of wiggles, but still super cute. Grabbing their bellies is like holding a miniature volley ball. So chubby. And so soft and fluffy.
Mia managed to spook herself. She was trying to climb up on one of the little hockey goals that’s laying on the grass lawn. Then it sort of toppled over and made a loud noise and she jumped away like it had caught fire. They get scared of loud noises, even if they’re making the noise themselves. Kinda like me when I pass gas.
15/1 2018
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Out early this morning, still dark.

15/1 2018
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Guess who again turned on the wrong hotplate and nearly exploded a plate? This time I caught my mistake in time and prevented the explosion, but was a close one.
I am very tired.
15/1 2018
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Everybody’s out grazing. While the kindergarteners watch. Had a little chat with one of the ladies at the fence. Can you guess what her first question is? I’ll give you a hint. The answer is “No, Mio is not pregnant”.

15/1 2018
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Yes, I guess they’re a little cute. I mean, if you like goats I’spose.
Alice made me promise not to give them any pumpkin seeds because there’s too much fat in them. And by “in them” I mean the pumpkin seeds. But also the goat kids. Haha. They are so cute and chubby. They almost waddle like little mini Kamels.

15/1 2018
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That’s it for today. I’m off to the dreamscape where explosions are a lot less dangerous and dynamite is always on sale. We are red, we are white, we are Danish dynamite. You’re welcome, fans of Danish soccer in the 80s, Remember to get your hand stamped on the way out. Otherwise it will be returned as undeliverable by the postal service and we’ll never find out what is the sound of one hand klopfing. Do not be alarmed. I am merely testing the boundaries of reality. If it breaks, just put a pot on your head and wait for the Ragnarok to finish. Fyor Odin, hau! Fyor Thor, mak!
Eh, mac arena?
15/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

16/1 2018
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The spacetower looks even better in the dark.

16/1 2018
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Hard to make it out of bed today. Dreams are so beautiful, the bed is so warm. The alarm clock is so easily difused. I need one where I have to guess if I have to cut the red or black wire and if I get it wrong it explodes like a hot plate in my hand. The real world needs to step up its game if it wants me to stay here. Fiction and dreams are way ahead of the game right now.
16/1 2018
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goatlog, from the new year morning

16/1 2018
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All this time looking for a girlfriend and all I really needed was my clone and some baby goats #blessed #TrueLove

16/1 2018
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I sometimes get asked how my name is pronounced. This is a pretty close approximation and should answer the question, while possibly raising several others like “How?” and “Why?” and “pizza?” and “Lemon curry?”
link: Lasse video
17/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

17/1 2018
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Morning walks
link: dark morning video
17/1 2018
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Do you ever wish you were a giraffe?

17/1 2018
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New Eels. Mmm. There was a time when I counted them around my top 3 favourite bands. Their last few albums haven’t quite hit those highs for me. I really like this track. I hope the rest of the album lives up to it. When E gets it right he hits right in the core of me, more than any other songwriter.
Here’s to hoping for the reconstruction.

17/1 2018
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Nobody puts baby in the corner. Or, if baby is already in the corner then nobody takes baby out of the corner. Unless baby has explicitly requested being taken out of the corner. Look, can we just agree not to mess with the whole “baby and the corner” situation? In the current climate I don’t feel comfortable addressing the issue without having a deeper understanding of the possible ramifications.
17/1 2018
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I am feeling a bit of an existential crisis. Am I? Or am I not? Answers on a postcard please.
Did you know I’m turning 40 in March? I am sure that will shock many since I look 14 and act 12, But I’ll be in my 40s. I don’t know how to feel about that. Fat, maybe. Or old. Something like that. I honestly didn’t really think I’d live this long. Haha. I don’t know why. It just didn’t seem likely. Well, I haven’t made it to 40 yet. But hooves crossed and all. 2018. The dystopian future snuck up on us. Truly this is the Empire Strikes Back of humanity. The dark middle chapter. Let’s just hope we make it to Return of the Jedi and our happy ending. Even if we will have to live with the Ewoks. (Don’t tell anyone, but I like Ewoks. Lightly roasted with some butter and ranch dressing. Just kidding. I hate ranch dressing. Okay, I don’t actually know what ranch dressing is. A sombrero and flare jeans?).
Anyway, my point is… something something I’m going to bed wake me when it Yub Nub time. You guys ponder mortality while I’m gone and I’ll come back with fart jokes omorrow.
17/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here is Vanilje and Magnethe from 2008, two lovely sisters.

18/1 2018
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Good goat times today. A light sprinkling of snow on the streets. Cold, but at least the wind wasn’t bad. Little loud bleats from the newbies as I unlocked the door and let myself in. Breakfast for the big girls and floor sweeping for the little ones. They were muchly admired today. First by the kindergarteners next door, assembling at the fence, asking me to bring the goat kids over so they could pet them. Later a passing group of kids, probably a daycare or something similar. One kid yelling out “SANTA’S FORGOT HIS HAT HERE”. Yes, the santa hat is still hanging on the fence. Lots of funny and sweet moments today. One of the (goat) kids came running to get to the fence for treats and jumped up on the Yogi rocks. And then tumbled down because it was slippery with snow. Oh dear. Didn’t even stop them in the tracks, just back up and over for a raisin. Later on I was sitting with Sky in my lap. She was nibbling on my fingers (they get VERY nibbly when they have a taste for raisins) and then she let out a little yawn and settled down to rest. Aw. Wish I’d had the camera going. That’s the second time I’ve seen one of the little ones yawn, but I need to get it on film. Big goat yawns are cute but so are little ones. Gosh, everything the little ones do is cute. I had all four goats out of the pen without tying the big girls down. Four goats on the loose. It went fine, but it’s a little hard to keep track of them all. Because they obviously split up in two groups. And don’t necessarily stick together. And then add to the fact that they all blend in well with the snow haha. Gotta be on my toes.
Oh and we got ourselves a new inmate. A horse called Shadow. He’s a fine looking fella. He has replaced Perle, who has gone to live at another place. I look forward to getting to know him.
18/1 2018
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Milo on the rocks. No fall this time. I think you can see the skidmarks on the rock to the left of him.

18/1 2018
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Got some good news today. A couple of people have been asking about Mousy. I actually haven’t seen her all year. And there’s something else. I didn’t tell you guys because I didn’t know for sure what had happened, but all the way back around christmas Finbarr had told me that Mousy might be dying. They were trying their best for her, but it didn’t look good. And since then I hadn’t seen her. Because of the holdiays and the phobias I wasn’t able to get a proper update until today. I actually thought she would have been dead, but no. She’s still alive, thankfully. She’s been hanging out in riding room, next to where the goats and horses live. So that’s why I haven’t seen her. I think she’s a very old cat. I don’t know if I’ll be seeing her out in the barn again, maybe when the weather gets better. Or maybe she’ll be living in there permanently now. I’ve been missing her meows, but I’m glad she’s still with us.
18/1 2018
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Tried out a new treat today. Not sure what it’s called, but it’s some kind of pasta. It’s VERY cunchy and judging by Mia and Mio’s reaction it’s VERY tasty. Big hit.

18/1 2018
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Yes, I am also shocked that when you elect a trashy reality show star he will turn around and turn the presidency into a trashy reality show. But thank you so much for this award for biggest shithole of the year. I couldn’t have done it without god and the three corinthians and Stormy Daniels.
18/1 2018
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As luck would have it
link: Milo & Sky video
18/1 2018
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That’s all for today. This snowflake is going to fall gently to the bed and become one with whole. An avalanche of love upon you, gentle souls with weary soles. Don’t say farts, don’t say farts, don’t say farts. Farts. DANGIT. Well, gotta get all the farts out before I’m forty. Hang on this could be a bumpy ride. We are experiencing some turbulence. Strap yourselves in and put a bag over your head and pretend that this is normal. I’ll tell you when it’s safe to breathe again.
See you tomorrow, somewhere in the fog.
18/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Herman from ’14, what a mighty dude.

19/1 2018
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goatlog

19/1 2018
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This is Shadow, our new horse. Not a very good photo. I’ll try to get a better one of him outside soon.

19/1 2018
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Time always slows to a halt when you’re waiting for the opening hour of the pizza place. *looks anxiously at the computer clock in the corner*. Just gotta survive another 8 minutes.
Of course, then it grinds to an absolute stop when you wait for the pizza to get delivered.
19/1 2018
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Always adored

19/1 2018
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The next time you’re voting for a president, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to close your eyes and imagine there’s a rumour about the person you’re about to vote for that says he (or she, not that there’s anything wrong with that) is married and just had a kid.. and was being spanked with a Forbes magazine by a pornstar and later paid her hush money to keep it quiet. Now if your reaction is “NO WAY that simply cannot be, I cannot even imagine it in theory” then you’re good. If your reaction is a shrug of the shoulders and a “that seems likely” then don’t vote for him. Or her. But really, it’s a he.
Now I’m not saying the rumour is true or not. I’m just saying, if it fits in with everything else you know about him. Or her. But you know it’s a him.
19/1 2018
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Do you get high from the tide challenge? High tide? Is that a thing? Get off my lawn kids, don’t make me turn this flying car around.
19/1 2018
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It’s Friday and you know what that means. Extra special premium behind the scenes never seen before grade a bonus content. I feel like the more you build up the expectations the less likely you are to fail. Fingers crossed! Here’s Mio watching me get ready to treat her. That was the can I keep pumpkin seeds in that I dropped.
link: Mio video
19/1 2018
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Somewhere, santa’s ears are freezing.

19/1 2018
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This is a very stable table.
*table wobbles back and forth*
That was just orbital wobble. We have the best tables.
(A scene from my new infomercial for my Stable Tables And Other Fables)
19/1 2018
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One of the things I don’t like about winter is that my camera gets fogged up when I keep it in my pocket. I guess my body heat makes for a temperature difference when I take it out and that fogs up the lens. It takes a little for the fog to clear, which really sucks when you’re doing goat photography and they do something cute but you can’t film it because it’s all foggy.
On the plus side, I could probably make a living doing romantic photography.

19/1 2018
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I’m just glad they didn’t name him Århus Vest.
8210 represent
19/1 2018
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Oh hay I forgot to mention that one of the little newbies, I’m pretty sure it was Milo, managed to steal the treatbag out of my pocket the other day. I was so proud. A new little pickpocket on our hands.
19/1 2018
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More PREMIUM bonus content. Here’s what Milo & Sky do when I set up the camera. They eat. They keep on eating. They never stop eating.
Fuzzybutts.
link: Milo&Sky video
20/1 2018
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all i need

20/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Bruce says so.

20/1 2018
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Well, you can’t fault the logic. Making America great again was always going to require getting rid of the government.
20/1 2018
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A happy birthday to my brother-man, Peter. I hope you get your new kidney sooner rather than later. Skål og ski vær mejet
20/1 2018
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Yo, the cool kids are in the house. Yo yo.

20/1 2018
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Here’s a reminder: Both sides are stupid. In all arguments. Their side think you’re stupid just like your side think they’re stupid. If you have to argue on the internet, please don’t do it on my posts. At least not aggressively. Whether you agree with my side or not. To be clear, I don’t mind you stating your opinion. At all. But don’t like pointless fighting. No one is going to change their minds because of comments on some random snowflake’s Facebook post. Or a meme. You’re either preaching to the choir or falling to deaf ears. I have a hard time dealing with it because I don’t want people to feel unwelcome or attacked but I also don’t want to censor people. Especially people I don’t agree with. I would like people to feel they can say what they want without being attacked. I also know that if you go into ‘enemy territory’ where most people disagree with you and post your opinion, there’s a good chance you’ll get attacked. Fighting back accomplishing nothing. Because you’re arguing on the internet. We’re all losers in that fight.
I mean for fuck’s sake the Republicans control the house and the senate and the white house and they couldn’t keep the government open. You think we’re going to fix that on the Facebook page with a guy who has 300ish friends, half of which are probably inactive accounts. Just let it go, man. Let it go. I post my opinions because it’s my profile and I need to vent and make dumb jokes. I’m not doing it in order to foster a debate that will make the world better in time. The goat posts have a better chance at that. So if you disagree with my opinions, just ignore me. If you disagree with someone’s comment on my opinion, just ignore it. And if you can’t ignore then try to be polite. And if you can’t be polite then think of the fact that if you’re out to make snowflakes/republicans cry then it’s people like me or other good people who sit with baby goats. Those are the people you’re trying to make cry. And make mad. People like you and me. There are good people on both sides. And everyone is stupid. Can’t we all just not get along?!
DON’T MAKE ME RANT ABOUT THIS AGAIN. YOU WOULD NOT LIKE LASSE MAD. LASSE SMASH.
I’m very tired please forgive the spellchecker elves they haven’t been fed in 3 years because all my checks bounce because I spent the money on magic beans. Worst pizza topping ever.
I haven’t even unfriended people who post straightup racist stuff. Or believe in pizzagate. Or think soccer is boring. That’s how unconfrontational I am. Don’t make me start to unfriend people and only post privately.
Look, the point of all this is… life is short and I was just reading about Dying Earth subgenre fiction and we’re all going to be dead in 50,000 years so don’t forget to wear sunscreen.
20/1 2018
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Here’s a reminder: goats

20/1 2018
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Here’s a reminder: I’m going to bed. To the dreamworld where everything makes sense and there are no alarms and no surprises. Ding dong, you dingdongs. Bells and whistles. Sirens and buzzing fridges. Everywhere is noise. You know what I like to do? When I sit in the shower, which is a thing I do. I like to put a finger in one ear. And then turn my head sideways and let the water run into my other ear. Then the whole world goes quiet and all I hear is the thundering of the waterfall onto my head. You know the scenes in the Lord Of The Rings movies when they put on the ring and they’re like transported into a shadowy otherrealm? That’s how I feel like when all the sound of the world is blocked out. I feel like I’ve entered into a shadowy otherworld, where no one can see me. I do wonder if there are monsters hunting for me in that otherworld too. But so far I have survived all the showers. Please quote all this if I die some day by slipping in the shower.
For the record, I like having friends who disagree with me and eachother. I just don’t liek having friends who shout and are mean to each other.
Well, goodnight.
20/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday. guys.

21/1 2018
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A body of ashes, petrol in the veins. This place is not real, this is just a place that pretends. I do not belong here, I burn it all down.
21/1 2018
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Has anyone seen grandma Mio? No? Hmm, well I’m sure she’ll turn up.

21/1 2018
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My clone and me we hang around with goats

21/1 2018
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I would make a really bad phone tech support guy. It takes me 5 minutes just to talk my dad out to the desktop.
21/1 2018
—
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goatlog

21/1 2018
—
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Tiny feetsies.

21/1 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.

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