Today will be a good day. Seize the week. Carp all those diems.
21/8 2017
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Brb, preparing for the big solar powered soapbox car race.
21/8 2017
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Good goat times today. A pretty cold morning. This is the last full week of summer in Denmark. It’s been the coldest summer I can remember. So all you global warming hoaxers can just sail on an iceberg to the North Pole and stay there. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times. RICK PERRY WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.
Anyway. It wasn’t too bad, especially when the sun started coming out of the clouds. I was a little disappointed that it was just the regular, old golden sun. I was promised a black hole sun. Science fails again. If I’ve said….
Anyway. Lovely time with the goats. They are such a wonderful trio of great companions. Mia with her slightly hysterical, demanding smooching love. Mio with her slow steady love, that forces everyone else out of the way. And sweet old A38. Stealing all the moments I can with her and sneaking her treats. They make my heart sing.
21/8 2017
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Where’s Yogi?

21/8 2017
—
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[twin peaks watching intensifies]
21/8 2017
—
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It was this or Smash Mouth.

21/8 2017
—
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This is the one time when all the villains in Metropolis get all their villainy done with no fear of anything.
21/8 2017
—
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Once upon a time I was falling into bed, but now i’m just falling asleep. There’s nothing I can do, another solar eclipse reference of the heart.
Cue Shatner,
21/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Snowflake it till you make it.
22/8 2017
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A woman came up to the fence and asked “Is that old goat still here?”. I said “A38? Yeah, she’s around here somewhere” and the woman’s face lit up in a smile. I guess old Yogi’s got a local fanclub too.

22/8 2017
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So, we’re all busy staring directly at the sun today, right? That’s going to take up most of my day today I think.
22/8 2017
—
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Ogi… lala?
22/8 2017
—
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I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I just showed this pizza the time of its life.
22/8 2017
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In other news, I seem to be living in The Great Northern Hotel, because all day long there has been a strange humming sound all through the building. I wonder if Josie is stuck in a wooden knob somewhere around here..
.it almost sounds like someone is drilling, only there are no pauses and it’s not quite as loud or forceful as a drill sounds. More like a vibrating hum. And it’s been all day with no pause. Thankfully it’s so low that putting on some music pretty much drowns it out.
22/8 2017
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Another perfectly choreographed goat pose.

22/8 2017
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New Morrissey album, new solo album from Billy Corgan. All my favourite pickle ricks are releasing new music. Also, only two weeks of Twin Peaks left. I feel like I do when I’m reading a good book. I can’t awit to get to the end and see what happens, but I also don’t want it to be over. Kinda like with pizza. I can’t wait to eat it all, but then when I’ve eaten it all I’m out of pizza. It’s like if I had a cake, right. Visualize me having a cake. But when I eat the cake, then I don’t have it anymore. If only there was some way of eating the cake AND having the cake.
I suppose I could buy TWO cakes. But. I mean. Isn’t that how the great Roman empire fell?
Oh by the way, the humming has stopped. So whatever the aliens were doing I guess they stopped. Maybe they were recharging their doomsday machine. I guess we’ll see. Maybe I SHOULD get two cakes. If the world is ending then to heck with it all. Two scoops!
23/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Darkness doesn’t last forever. Sooner or later the sun’s gotta shine. That’s what suns do.
23/8 2017
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There better be a treat when I finish my act.

23/8 2017
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If you’re going to dig your own grave, you might as well use a gold shovel.
23/8 2017
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I almost forgot… happy hump day, guys.

23/8 2017
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This story has just gotten crazier and crazier. I honestly can’t believe it. If this was a crime fiction story it would have been laughed off as unbelievable. Poor woman, though.
headless torso ID’d as reporter
23/8 2017
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Our systems are currently at full capacity. Please remain calm and lie down on the ground and wait for normal service to resume. We suggest you take this opportunity to consider whether Flat Earth theory doesn’t actually make a lot of sense when you’re lying on flat ground? I mean what’s up with that? If the Earth was round wouldn’t the football roll away when you kicked it around?
Now please enjoy this elevator version of Fear the Reaper as performed by an old timey barbershop quartet.
We will return tomorrow with further science updates about the world and all the ways in which you are wrong about it. If I’ve said it once I’
23/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Adopt, adapt and improve. I didn’t make it out of bed this morning. The world is too sad and my dreams are too beautiful. So I turned the alarm off and rolled over, back into beautiful dreams. That wasn’t the plan, but now here we are.
24/8 2017
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Among my beautiful dreams last night… Ellen came to Denmark to see me. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I can only assume she wanted the goats to go on her show.
24/8 2017
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goatlog

24/8 2017
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Field of dreams of goats

24/8 2017
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The coat is coming off.
24/8 2017
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I love your face.

24/8 2017
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I am now a fidget spinner. Please don’t question my life choices.
24/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Friday, do your thang.
25/8 2017
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Good goat times today. Decent temperatures and sun every now and then. I just read a news article that said this Danish summer has had the least amount of sun in 17 years. So it’s not just my imagination. But ok, we takes what we can gets. Just like the goats takes all the foods they can gets. And then ask fo a little more. Lots of fun with them today. Everything is fun with goats. Plus with sun in the sky and dry ground I get to sit and be lazy with them, which is always good. Being lazy and eating all you can eat. You know, I think goats may be on to something…
25/8 2017
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Where’s Yogi?

25/8 2017
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Liam Beeson is all the buzz.
25/8 2017
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Had an appointment with the doctor this morning. To discuss how the meds are going. And how are they going? They’re going alright, thanks for asking. They send their regards.
I think generally my mood has been more stable. I don’t know if that has come across on my Facebooking. I think I internalize a lot of the darkness. But I know when I get really down it must spill over onto my Facebox, I’m not sure if there’s been more or less of that since I started the meds. But generally I feel more stable. The lows are less low. Before I could feel like I literally wanted to jump off a cliff. Now I just get.. mildly sad. And usually for a reason, like… the news. All of them. Whereas before my mood was just a rollercoaster for no apparent reason. So that is an improvement, if nothing else. But I do still feel some sadness. And sometimes when I feel like there despair and anguish there is instead an empty feeling. Like a big giant physical hole where there used to be pain. It’s nice that there isn’t pain there. But emptiness isn’t always a great feeling either.
Anyway. My doctor upped my dose. I started at 50mg and went to 100mg. Now I’m going to be on 150mg. And then I’ll go back in a month’s time to talk to her again. To see if it has gotten me even better, or if it’s giving me side effects again. I can always go back down to 100. We shall see. Maybe when winter comes I’ll have to get one thousand. PIZZAS. Medical.
25/8 2017
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Oh Facebook. With all your data mining and snooping and privacy contempt I’m pretty sure you don’t have to ask me that.
At least they got the first suggestion right. And then put a tomato instead of the apple. And what’s the last thing? Is that a pizza too? Because that would be accurate. Two of my favourite 3 foods are pizza slices and whole pizzas.

25/8 2017
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That thing when you’re reading the Twin Peaks subreddit and someone makes a brilliant Lost reference. Crossing the streams. Worlds collide.
Who do I have to seduce and get compromising blackmail material of to get a Twin Peaks Lost crossover show?!
25/8 2017
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If the moon was made of cheese then all I need is a planet made of bread and a heck of a lot of tomatoe and sauce. And a giant oven. Stellar Pizza, patent pending.
26/8 2017
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When Amazon issues you a refund on an item, but it then shows up 3 weeks late. Do you A) Contact amazon and tell them to cancel the refund if possible. 2) Keep the 40ish dollars and spend them on pizza?
Hint: Option A took me about 15 minutes searching for a contact link on amazon’s homepage. Sheesh. I guess cancelling a refund isn’t something that comes up often so there’s no quicklink for that. And the general contact link is buried away deep in customer service pages.
Anyway, I just wanted to humblebrag about how honest I am. Also, I stole all your cookies and set you up the bomb.
26/8 2017
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Expletive deleted
26/8 2017
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All of the expletives deleted
26/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. I hope everyone is safe from the natural disaster going on. And also the hurricane.
26/8 2017
—
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At this point I think I’d almost welcome back Gangnam Style.
26/8 2017
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Okay, one photo. But no autographs.

26/8 2017
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goatlog

26/8 2017
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If I had a dollar for every dollar I have, I’d have as many dollars as I have. Which would be none, because we don’t have dollars in Denmark. I mean, well I’m sure they exist in Denmark. It’s not like dollars magically disappear when you enter Denmark. Unless you go to one of our many famous magic strip joints. But the point I’m trying to make is that I’m a VERY unreliable narrator.
26/8 2017
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Excluse behind-the-scenes #PremiumContent bonus footage.
Mio was quite interested in me adjusting the camera.
link: video
26/8 2017
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Tuning out for today. What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you buzz like a fridge or land on the moon? Diid you, did you, didgeridoo. I don’t mean to crude, but it’s cruel to mean. What was in that bean I brewed coffe of? Of coffee and men. Call for malk. Don’t cross the line, there’s fine, hey that rhyme. d. That rhyme tho. Okay. Thanks for trying too hard. Goodnight, and don’t forget to stop and smell the fish.
26/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

27/8 2017
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Trying to talk myself out of ordering pizza today. Meanwhile, also trying to talk myself into ordering pizzay today.
But what I really want to know is, what’s that third voice that keeps chanting Cthulhu verse?!
27/8 2017
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The peanutty professor researching her field of expertise.

27/8 2017
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goatlog

27/8 2017
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I’ve been feeling a little dizzy the last couple of days. You know that feeling like you’re on a train or a boat, but you’re actually on steady ground? I keep swaying around a little. I’m guessing it’s because of the increased dosage of the meds. I’m sure it’ll go away.
Of course the other theory is that I have been kidnapped by aliens amd am currently living in a simulation of Earth that they created to fool me into thinking that I’m still at home. And swaying is because their spaceship has a defective stabilizer on the port side.
But know this, aliens. There is no way you’ll get me to reveal the secret nuclear codes! Or the secret pizza recipe.
27/8 2017
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

Today will be a good day. We can make it better.
14/8 2017
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Hey, guess what?

14/8 2017
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Good goat times today. And as you can tell by the photo I just posted, good horse times as well. Yes, the horses are back. So nice to see them again. Although the goats of course were less thrilled. Especially Mio who had to run for her life a couple of times as the horses passed through the gate where she was standing. Oh sheeeeeep, time to go. The horses seemed to pick up just where they’d left off. Grazing the grass. Twas a lovely day with lots of sun with puffy, white clouds here and there. Pleasantly warm, lots of sitting down and relaxing. Cuddling with Mia. The perfect antidote to everything that’s going on in the real world. Thank goat for my bubble.
14/8 2017
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Also good shopping times today. One of those rare occasions when I found everything I was looking for immediately, even the stuff that I usually spend 30 minutes looking for before I give up and gather the courage to ask for help. Or that I just ask my dad to get for me. Today it all fell into my shopping kart as if by magic. And add to that it seems both the cucumber and tomatoes were of great quality. I loves my cucumber and tomatoes.
Now, it’s time to get my Twin Peaks on. Finally!
14/8 2017
—
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I am The Fireman
14/8 2017
—
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BREAKING NEWS: Racism is evil.
Well now that’s sorted I guess we won’t be seeing Indy after all.-
ALSO BRAEKING NOOSE: Lasse likes pizza.
14/8 2017
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I’m gonna go look for that notebook…
Who is the dreamer?
14/8 2017
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy birthday Mia, the cutest 5 year old baby goat in all of Denmark!

15/8 2017
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Celebrating Mia’s birthday with watermelon! It was a big hit. For the goats, and for me watching. Lots of noisy slurping. And Mia’s face all sticky and wet as she came in for smooches.
Can’t believe it’s been 5 years with her now. I love her more than life, she has become so important to me. I’ve met so many nice people through her page and it’s just been a thrilling premium content ride. Hearing her bleating every time she sees me arrive (and when I go, or just step out of her sight for 2 minutes) really makes me feel appreciated haha. She is still my princess.

15/8 2017
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.
By the way, on Mia’s 5 year birthday I’d like to extend public thank yous to Jen Diaz who created Mia’s Facebook page. I didn’t think anyone would be interested in me having a page, but now here we are very close to 10,000 likes. Thank you, Jen. And thank you everyone i’ve gotten to know through the page, you’re a big part of making this such a good thing in my life.
15/8 2017
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I think Mia enjoyed the party. Today is also the one year anniversary of us moving to the new playground. It’s been quite a year.

15/8 2017
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I’m definitely not talking about politics today! That’s my Mia birthday gift to the world.
*eats fist*
15/8 2017
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One year with Yogi. She may not quite be Kamel-sized, but I feel like she has done a lot to fill that Kamel-shaped hole in my heart. Sweet, calm, gentle, food-loving undergoat.

15/8 2017
—
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Fun fact: I was so engrossed with yesterday’s episode of Twin Peaks that I accidentally ate a whole carton of icecream in my trance. And then I had to go throw up because I got sick of it. Adult life is hard, yall.
16/8 2017
—
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Looks like I picked a great day to not talk about politics *headdesk* *eats other fist* *looks out of window, into the night* *single tear*
16/8 2017
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And I think to myself, what a [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] wooorld
16/8 2017
—
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Happy hump day, guys.

16/8 2017
—
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You can’t get to me, world. I have raised the goat shields.

16/8 2017
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A flood flood flood of blood blood blood to the heart heart heart. Don’t worry, I’m busy cracking the case of the pizza gate. Go and tell the king that the statues are falling in. And you point your finger but there’s no one around. My baby’s got the bends, and the words are coming out all weird. The planet is a gunboat in a sea of fear. He was a stupid baby who grew into a powerful freak. One step forward, two steps to the alt left. Control alt delete. Non existance. Exterminate, exterminate. Resistance is futile, existance is futile. Erectile dysfunction is pre-existing conditioned hair balm lotion that monkey died for your grin. We’re not going to talk about Jews, who do you think this is there? Call for help. kkkmart build a wallmart, prickle rick and marty feldman. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and the sea will flood flood flood the coasts so we can swim with the fishes. Opposing thumb, dorsal fin. fire and fury and fast and furious and free speech and the falling towers come armageddon come arpeggi weird fishes weird fishes blinking lights and satellites and strobe lights and hurricanes and anchor babies and rancors maybe, definitely maybe, it’s maybelline it may be obscene but break down the doors to the beauty queens and grab the pussy by its tail too big to fail guru meditation error 404 not found rebooting please insert system disk the systems are failing target practice and drone strikes and price hikes and dollars and cents and upside down topsy turvy amputations ambulance last flowers irregular edges warpled plastic wrapped in fishes in the percolator see you later alligator in a while cheshire cat smile sickly sweet insulated insulin insufferable monkey paw predictions of nuclear winter so pack your thermonuclear underwear and that’s my name don’t swear it out, drought without a doubt natural catastrophes and cat memes and pepe le pirouettes blue man groupies blistered abandon highway warm gun is a happy highway to heel and toe, snip snap snude
16/8 2017
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Well, I’ve had enough of today. I reject your reality and substitute my dreams. Don’t wait up.
16/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. You may say I’m a dreamer.
17/8 2017
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Good goat times today. I was feeling a little off, but the goats anchor me in reality. My constant in time. It was fairly warm and humid, maybe that was what was putting me off. When I went to refill their water bucket (with Mia hollering after me the moment I went out of sight of course) I drank a little from the tap myself. Gotta remember to bring something to drink while it’s still summer, more or less.
Lots of sitting around and relaxing and watching the baes. Bae watch. Get it? I’ll see myself out.
17/8 2017
—
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Watermelon leftovers, yum.

17/8 2017
—
.
“The president has no real power, so it doesn’t matter who gets elected and they’re the same anyway”
Is something we’ll probably hear less of next election.
17/8 2017
—
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Where’s Yogi?

17/8 2017
—
.
Retreating into dreams again. Everybody wants a holiday under the black hole sun.
17/8 2017
—
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Today will be a good day. Come what may.
18/8 2017
—
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Hey look, it’s everyone’s favourite horse and goat duo. A38 and Black Beauty.

18/8 2017
—
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[whooshing intensifies]
18/8 2017
—
.

18/8 2017
—
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goatlog

18/8 2017
—
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Bannon out. We’re going to need more inanimate carbon rods.
18/8 2017
—
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Busy building a ladder high enough so I can climb up to the eclipse and glimpse through to see what’s on the other side.
18/8 2017
—
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Buffering. Please insert more pizza.
19/8 2017
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I am saddened to announce my retirement from the White House Pizza council, but I can no longer stand idly by as this administration continues to put pineapple on its pizzas. I am a tolerant person but I have my limits.
All the scoops.
19/8 2017
—
.
It’s 3:18 am on a Friday night, and I know what you’re all thinking. “What is one of Lasse’s favourite pieces of computer game music?”. You’re so predictable.

19/8 2017
—
.
That thing when people you like post things that are stupid and offensive. Sigh. Good thing I’m so smart and flawless and always right. And have great personal hygiene and outstanding prospects for the future.
By the way, it’s now 5:38 am and I’m watching pubg livestream.
19/8 2017
—
.
There is no darkness when you are not there
19/8 2017
—
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Oh look, A38 is sitting with the rocks again. I haven’t seen her do that since the new shelter came up. How nice.

19/8 2017
—
.
[pizza eating intensifies]
19/8 2017
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I was up all last night and now I’m going to bed early so I can spend lots of time dreaming. Don’t you wish you had my life? WELL NOW YOU CAN FOR 17 EASY INSTALLMENTS OF ONLY 9.99. Solid gold bars. Apply within for further instructions. Offer is valid only during the total eclipse and we do not accept solar powered bitcoins. Use the coupon code DANISHPRINCESARETHENEWNIGERIANPRINCESPSTHISISNOTASCAM and claim your place in the afterlife afterparty. Bring your own bees.
19/8 2017
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

20/8 2017
—
.
Time to go exercise. And then I will heel later.
20/8 2017
—
.
goatlog

20/8 2017
—
.
[goat fun intensifies]

20/8 2017
—
.
As a visually impaired person I’d like to just state that OHMYCAW WHY DID I LEAVE MY GLASS OF DIET SODA THERE. Okay, off to get the bucket and mop.
20/8 2017
—
.
When the football is so bad that you stop watching the game and just check the score update on twitter now and then…
sigh.-
20/8 2017
—
.
My turn to be human shield.

20/8 2017
—
.
[blank stare intensifies]
20/8 2017
—
.
When your Scottish friend doesn’t like Porgs…
Clearly that investment in Photoshop has paid off well.

20/8 2017
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.