[Slam Poetry Intensifies]
Today will be a good day. We can make it better.
14/8 2017
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Hey, guess what?
14/8 2017
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Good goat times today. And as you can tell by the photo I just posted, good horse times as well. Yes, the horses are back. So nice to see them again. Although the goats of course were less thrilled. Especially Mio who had to run for her life a couple of times as the horses passed through the gate where she was standing. Oh sheeeeeep, time to go. The horses seemed to pick up just where they’d left off. Grazing the grass. Twas a lovely day with lots of sun with puffy, white clouds here and there. Pleasantly warm, lots of sitting down and relaxing. Cuddling with Mia. The perfect antidote to everything that’s going on in the real world. Thank goat for my bubble.
14/8 2017
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Also good shopping times today. One of those rare occasions when I found everything I was looking for immediately, even the stuff that I usually spend 30 minutes looking for before I give up and gather the courage to ask for help. Or that I just ask my dad to get for me. Today it all fell into my shopping kart as if by magic. And add to that it seems both the cucumber and tomatoes were of great quality. I loves my cucumber and tomatoes.
Now, it’s time to get my Twin Peaks on. Finally!
14/8 2017
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I am The Fireman
14/8 2017
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BREAKING NEWS: Racism is evil.
Well now that’s sorted I guess we won’t be seeing Indy after all.-
ALSO BRAEKING NOOSE: Lasse likes pizza.
14/8 2017
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I’m gonna go look for that notebook…
Who is the dreamer?
14/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy birthday Mia, the cutest 5 year old baby goat in all of Denmark!
15/8 2017
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Celebrating Mia’s birthday with watermelon! It was a big hit. For the goats, and for me watching. Lots of noisy slurping. And Mia’s face all sticky and wet as she came in for smooches.
Can’t believe it’s been 5 years with her now. I love her more than life, she has become so important to me. I’ve met so many nice people through her page and it’s just been a thrilling premium content ride. Hearing her bleating every time she sees me arrive (and when I go, or just step out of her sight for 2 minutes) really makes me feel appreciated haha. She is still my princess.
15/8 2017
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By the way, on Mia’s 5 year birthday I’d like to extend public thank yous to Jen Diaz who created Mia’s Facebook page. I didn’t think anyone would be interested in me having a page, but now here we are very close to 10,000 likes. Thank you, Jen. And thank you everyone i’ve gotten to know through the page, you’re a big part of making this such a good thing in my life.
15/8 2017
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I think Mia enjoyed the party. Today is also the one year anniversary of us moving to the new playground. It’s been quite a year.
15/8 2017
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I’m definitely not talking about politics today! That’s my Mia birthday gift to the world.
*eats fist*
15/8 2017
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One year with Yogi. She may not quite be Kamel-sized, but I feel like she has done a lot to fill that Kamel-shaped hole in my heart. Sweet, calm, gentle, food-loving undergoat.
15/8 2017
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Fun fact: I was so engrossed with yesterday’s episode of Twin Peaks that I accidentally ate a whole carton of icecream in my trance. And then I had to go throw up because I got sick of it. Adult life is hard, yall.
16/8 2017
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Looks like I picked a great day to not talk about politics *headdesk* *eats other fist* *looks out of window, into the night* *single tear*
16/8 2017
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And I think to myself, what a [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] wooorld
16/8 2017
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Happy hump day, guys.
16/8 2017
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You can’t get to me, world. I have raised the goat shields.
16/8 2017
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A flood flood flood of blood blood blood to the heart heart heart. Don’t worry, I’m busy cracking the case of the pizza gate. Go and tell the king that the statues are falling in. And you point your finger but there’s no one around. My baby’s got the bends, and the words are coming out all weird. The planet is a gunboat in a sea of fear. He was a stupid baby who grew into a powerful freak. One step forward, two steps to the alt left. Control alt delete. Non existance. Exterminate, exterminate. Resistance is futile, existance is futile. Erectile dysfunction is pre-existing conditioned hair balm lotion that monkey died for your grin. We’re not going to talk about Jews, who do you think this is there? Call for help. kkkmart build a wallmart, prickle rick and marty feldman. There’s plenty of fish in the sea and the sea will flood flood flood the coasts so we can swim with the fishes. Opposing thumb, dorsal fin. fire and fury and fast and furious and free speech and the falling towers come armageddon come arpeggi weird fishes weird fishes blinking lights and satellites and strobe lights and hurricanes and anchor babies and rancors maybe, definitely maybe, it’s maybelline it may be obscene but break down the doors to the beauty queens and grab the pussy by its tail too big to fail guru meditation error 404 not found rebooting please insert system disk the systems are failing target practice and drone strikes and price hikes and dollars and cents and upside down topsy turvy amputations ambulance last flowers irregular edges warpled plastic wrapped in fishes in the percolator see you later alligator in a while cheshire cat smile sickly sweet insulated insulin insufferable monkey paw predictions of nuclear winter so pack your thermonuclear underwear and that’s my name don’t swear it out, drought without a doubt natural catastrophes and cat memes and pepe le pirouettes blue man groupies blistered abandon highway warm gun is a happy highway to heel and toe, snip snap snude
16/8 2017
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Well, I’ve had enough of today. I reject your reality and substitute my dreams. Don’t wait up.
16/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. You may say I’m a dreamer.
17/8 2017
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Good goat times today. I was feeling a little off, but the goats anchor me in reality. My constant in time. It was fairly warm and humid, maybe that was what was putting me off. When I went to refill their water bucket (with Mia hollering after me the moment I went out of sight of course) I drank a little from the tap myself. Gotta remember to bring something to drink while it’s still summer, more or less.
Lots of sitting around and relaxing and watching the baes. Bae watch. Get it? I’ll see myself out.
17/8 2017
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Watermelon leftovers, yum.
17/8 2017
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“The president has no real power, so it doesn’t matter who gets elected and they’re the same anyway”
Is something we’ll probably hear less of next election.
17/8 2017
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Where’s Yogi?
17/8 2017
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Retreating into dreams again. Everybody wants a holiday under the black hole sun.
17/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Come what may.
18/8 2017
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Hey look, it’s everyone’s favourite horse and goat duo. A38 and Black Beauty.
18/8 2017
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[whooshing intensifies]
18/8 2017
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18/8 2017
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goatlog
18/8 2017
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Bannon out. We’re going to need more inanimate carbon rods.
18/8 2017
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Busy building a ladder high enough so I can climb up to the eclipse and glimpse through to see what’s on the other side.
18/8 2017
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Buffering. Please insert more pizza.
19/8 2017
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I am saddened to announce my retirement from the White House Pizza council, but I can no longer stand idly by as this administration continues to put pineapple on its pizzas. I am a tolerant person but I have my limits.
All the scoops.
19/8 2017
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It’s 3:18 am on a Friday night, and I know what you’re all thinking. “What is one of Lasse’s favourite pieces of computer game music?”. You’re so predictable.
19/8 2017
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That thing when people you like post things that are stupid and offensive. Sigh. Good thing I’m so smart and flawless and always right. And have great personal hygiene and outstanding prospects for the future.
By the way, it’s now 5:38 am and I’m watching pubg livestream.
19/8 2017
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There is no darkness when you are not there
19/8 2017
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Oh look, A38 is sitting with the rocks again. I haven’t seen her do that since the new shelter came up. How nice.
19/8 2017
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[pizza eating intensifies]
19/8 2017
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I was up all last night and now I’m going to bed early so I can spend lots of time dreaming. Don’t you wish you had my life? WELL NOW YOU CAN FOR 17 EASY INSTALLMENTS OF ONLY 9.99. Solid gold bars. Apply within for further instructions. Offer is valid only during the total eclipse and we do not accept solar powered bitcoins. Use the coupon code DANISHPRINCESARETHENEWNIGERIANPRINCESPSTHISISNOTASCAM and claim your place in the afterlife afterparty. Bring your own bees.
19/8 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.
20/8 2017
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Time to go exercise. And then I will heel later.
20/8 2017
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goatlog
20/8 2017
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[goat fun intensifies]
20/8 2017
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As a visually impaired person I’d like to just state that OHMYCAW WHY DID I LEAVE MY GLASS OF DIET SODA THERE. Okay, off to get the bucket and mop.
20/8 2017
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When the football is so bad that you stop watching the game and just check the score update on twitter now and then…
sigh.-
20/8 2017
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My turn to be human shield.
20/8 2017
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[blank stare intensifies]
20/8 2017
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When your Scottish friend doesn’t like Porgs…
Clearly that investment in Photoshop has paid off well.
20/8 2017
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.
That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.