No sleep till Brabrand
3/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. We’ll get there.
3/4 2017
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Good goat times today. A lovely day with lots of sunshine. It got quite warm too. Still a little bit of a cold wind, but it’s springtime alright.
I was there first today, so I got to let the goats out. The mud in front of the main door has dried up so much that I could get them all out that way without too much fuzz. And then it was just a lot of lounging in the sun. And some runs through the pasture. Got Mia quite excited. Not quite up to Palle levels of corkscrew jumps, but not far from it. So much fun. Ophelia came out to get one of the horses, as she usually does on Mondays. A38 was sitting in one of her favourite spots. Right in the sun where the fence curves. Ophelia carefully walked towards her. “Are you going to get up if I come over to you…?”. But no, A38 stayed put and Ophelia knelt down and gave her some sweet cuddles. Everyone is enjoying the season.
3/4 2017
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Spring is here, the sun is a shining flower of melted butter.

3/4 2017
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Oh no, the Ben & Jerry’s ghost struck again. That’s very unfortunate, we should set up some kind of alarm system.
PS I bet that ghost is regretting eating the whole thing. Burp.
3/4 2017
—
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Got to see Mousy in the morning too.

3/4 2017
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Heading to bed like

3/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. I’ll bring the funk, the noise will have to wait till later.
4/4 2017
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A38 under a blue sky.

4/4 2017
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My human exoskeleton seems awfully soft. I should probably check with the overlords to make sure they didn’t give me a faulty one. I thought humans were supposed to be chitinous. This is what you get when you defund public galactic education.
4/4 2017
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My portal gun stopped working at the worst possible time. I just found Dimension Pizza, and now I can never go back.
4/4 2017
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Going to bed. Catch me outside reality. The Ben & Jerry’s ghost is taking me for a fishing trip. With gummi bear bait to catch a licorice grizzly.
4/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

5/4 2017
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Doctor’s results were fine. EKG good, blood sugar down which is great. A bit low on vitamins, but nothing that requires any special attention other than maybe taking some vitamin pills. No other remarks. Got my tetanus shot. So that’s all fine. Mentally not so great right now, but you know. Keep on keeping on.
5/4 2017
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Beauty and the human

5/4 2017
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Everything is slow motion, like an action scene towards the end. Only all the explosions are in my head. Impulses fighting imuplses, synapses doing stunt falls off cliffs. Someone set it up the dynamite, light a match to see where you are. Il est dehors, you got a little Lasse on you.
5/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Find the thing that makes it true.
6/5 2017
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Good goat times today. Bit of sunshine here and there and a little colder than it’s otherwise been lately. But not too bad. And the grass has started growing. Little by little. All the goats and horses were out in the pasture when I arrived, scouring the ground for little tufts of green growing or other things fallen. Mia was so busy scavenging that she didn’t even seem to recognise me when she looked up. Just kept going. So I climbed over the fence and went a little closer, started filming them. And then Mia saw me again and recognised me and I got my bleat greet and she came running to say hello and can I have some treats? Had some good fun running with her in the pasture too. She’s getting ever closer to Palle levels of silliness. Not jumping as much, but doing some great semi circular running with head spinning. And then her tail wagging as she comes to claim her treat. I think she’s starting to get the idea that if she makes me laugh she’ll get a treat. She’s not wrong.
I didn’t have any tomatoes for them today, as the supermarket has been out of them this week. But I made up for it by bringing another batch of the saltines we got from a friend of the page. Super crunchy tasty treats.
6/4 2017
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A38 channeling Kamel. Not just in personality.

6/4 2017
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Got a big package in the mail today. Lots of goodies for the goats. Animal crackers. I don’t think I’ve ever tried those before.. I mean.. the goats haven’t… okay, I tried them out on myself first. I hope they’re not FOR animals or OF animals. Not bad, though. I think they’ll be a hit. It was from the woman who sent me saltines and peanuts. She told me the goat videos was helping her with some personal stuff, so that made me happy. I know how precious things that bring some light to your life can be. She wanted to send bananas for A38, but since they don’t go so well in the mail from America to Denmark she sent some dried banana chip things. Hope A38 will like them! So sweet.
6/4 2017
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Aw, rip Don Rickles. I didn’t know him that well, but he always made me laugh when I saw him on various talkshows.
6/4 2017
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Signing off for today. Please be advised that should you have an emergency outside Lassecorps business hours you can leave a message on our voicemail describing the problem and what you’re wearing and we’ll get back to you assuming we’re not currently outside time and spance or gone fishing. Please note that our voicemail is monitored by really annoying grammar nazis and all messages that are not writed perfect good will not be listen to by us at our early incontraception. The snorkel zone is for immediate snorkling and unsnorkling only. There is no smorgasbord in the snorkel zone. Do not be fooled by imposters you know we mean business there’s no business like show business attire required. No shoes no shirt no what I mean?
6/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Don’t give up.
7/4 2017
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I forgot to post it yesterday, but happy birthday to my dad, Kaj. He’s been a vital help for me through all the blindness stuff. As I have been a vital help over the phone every time he’s had to attach a file to a yahoo mail message. Quid pro squid, or something like that! Cheers, dad.
7/4 2017
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You do realise, some day it will be a little baby robot mistaking a water heater for a human, right? Laugh while you can. I’m already applying for desk jobs in Skynet customer service Call Centers. “Have you tried rebooting yourself? Okay, bye”.
7/4 2017
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Where’s A38?

7/4 2017
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Do you ever feel like you’re a train that just keeps blundering forward even though the conductor has spotted that someone changed the tracks to lead off a steep cliff edge?
No, me neither. We’re great. Awesome.
7/4 2017
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goatlog
part 1

part 2

7/4 2017
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My superpower is that I’m really good at thinking up superpowers. Except this one.
7/4 2017
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Denny Crane.
8/4 2017
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Judge me by the company I keep. Please?

8/4 2017
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I’m just letting all you Americans know that since your ISPs can now sell your browsing history, I’m going to be buying it all. And you better have been googling for “Lasse’s awesome goats” or you’re so unfriended.
8/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Let’s just agree to agree.
8/4 2017
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I don’t know who ordered this pizza or who’s going to eat it or if there even is a pizza and anyway what’s with the third degree?
8/4 2017
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The grass is starting to grow. Mio was so eager to get back into the grazing that she didn’t even notice that one of the demon horses was getting near.

8/4 2017
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Here’s one from the blooper reel. Thanks for moving the camera, Mia. And you guys can enjoy the wrong view for 2 minutes. You’re welcome.
link: Wrong view video
8/4 2017
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But did you stop to think about the vet that had to sew up that Tauntaun, Han? Did you think of the vet?
8/4 2017
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Heading to bed early. Gotta catch my ride on the choochoo train to the dreamscape. Don’t worry, I brought a bucket of paint to paint a hole on that cliffside, we’ll be fine.
8/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

9/4 2017
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goatlog

9/4 2017
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Can’t believe they rejected my Fraggles Vs Smurfs script. Too edgy my barnyard. I guess I’ll have to do a rewrite that doesn’t end with everyone dying. Sugarcoating it for the snowflakes again.
9/4 2017
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Back from dinner with the family. A little birthday dinner for my dad, and a little bit for me since circumstances got in the way of celebrating my birthday a few weeks ago. We went to the local Chinese place again. Very nice, as always. The French fries were perhaps not quite as good as the other times we’ve been there. But I figure, if you go to a Chinese place and get French fries you really don’t have a right to complain. They were fine, really. And I took full advantage of the buffet. I think I may have eaten too much. That being said, I do have leftover pizza in my fridge… and some wafer-thin mints.
9/4 2017
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Yogiface

9/4 2017
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I’m in Fight Or Flight Or Trip Over A Banana Peel mode. High alert.
9/4 2017
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THERE’S A FLAW IN THE SIMULATION, THERE’S A FLAW IN THE SIMULATION. I have never had any meal combining peanut butter and jelly.
I need to talk to an operator.
9/4 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

Today will be a good day. Fight for your right to partake.
27/3 2017
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Good goat times today. A gorgeous day. Might have been the warmest of the year yet. I only wore a t-shirt under my coat, and even that was too much. I had to leave my coat open. I probably could have even taken the coat off alttogether, it’s practically t-shirt weather now. I arrived at Goatlandia to find Mia had already started the chillaxing. Sitting in the middle of the horse pasture, with Mio standing next to her and A38 a little farther away on her other side. I love lounging in the sun with the goaties. It’s only going to get better when it’s warmer and there’s grass all around. At least the mud has dried up.
I brought the saltines that I received from a friend of Mia’s page (thanks Beth!). I don’t think I’ve ever given the goaties saltines before. They were a big hit. And since we were in the horse pasture it didn’t take long for the horses to come over to see if there were treats for them. I wasn’t sure if it was okay for them to have saltines. Luckily I’d had the good foresight to bring a few carrots. So everyone was happy. I think Black Beauty is starting to get a little Mulleish. in the sense that she likes to come over to me and say hi several times a day. Hoping for treats no doubt. She’s still calm and sweet, though. No crazy drama queen behaviour. Much to the relief of the goats.
Other than that it was mostly just a lot of sitting in the sunshine. Giving foot rubs and back rubs and treats and smoochies. At one point I looked at the clock on my camera and was surprised to see that I’d only been there for an hour. “That can’t be right” I thought, “it feels like it’s been much longer”. Well, I’d forgotten to set the camera clock an hour forward on Daylight Savings Hellpalooza. So, it had actually been two hours at that point. But who’s counting when you’re with goats!
27/3 2017
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Ahh, almost like the good old days. One of the favourite spots from last summer. Sitting in front of the gate to the horse pasture. It’ll be even nicer when there’s grass there instead of dried mud.

27/3 2017
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Twas a lovely walk to the goats today. Even with tired legs from two days of exercising. It’s so nice in the sun. With wonderful Norse mythology in my ears. That walk along the highway has become like a treasure chest of memories for me now. When I walk the path along the road I can almost hear all the audiobooks again. I can hear John Cleese talking about growing up in Britain, I can hear the wizard Dragon, the Anansie boys. Mr Bones, the singing dancing murderbot. the four bikers of the apocalypse, the red wheelbarrow, the human sized owls, the manifs. And so on and so forth. Walking that road makes me want to reread everything read.
27/3 2017
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Sleeptime. Off to dreamwalk. Along the highway of stories sung and vines swung and the sun and the moon and the staircase that I bought but which unfortunately seems to go down.
27/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Love it like baby goats.
28/3 2017
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A38 out casting shadows.

28/3 2017
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goatlog

28/3 2017
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Wonderful dreams last night. In one of them I suspected I was in a dream, but then I looked around and noticed all the little details (of my old room in our old house where I haven’t been in 10 years) and thought “no, it’s too real. This can’t be a dream”. I tend to think of dreams as fragile things. Like soap bubbles that will burst if you poke them. Or fantasy monsters that have no power over you if you don’t believe in them. Or a mirage that will fold if you question it. But I guess dreams are sturdier than that. They will bend a lot before they break. They will readjust if you’re doubting them. They will try to convince you that they’re real. I’m impressed with the strength of dreams. Also I tend to think of dreams as fairly vague. As impressionist paintings, as blurry photographs. Watercolours. But I think that’s because the details fade when you wake up. When you’re in them, they are very well put together with sharp and crisp details. When I woke up this morning I remember marvelling at the little details from the dream. I don’t remember what those details are now, they have blurred out in the background of my mind. But at the time, they were so in focus.
Anyway, I just like to dream.
There was also another part with goats.
28/3 2017
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When are they making the Tom Bombadil movie?
28/3 2017
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I’m not the only one who enjoys sitting in the sunshine.

29/3 2017
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Plans for tonight: Watch Bates Motel, The Walking Dead & Into The Badlands while editing goat videos until I pass out. Or as we call it in the house Lasse built, regular Tuesday.
29/3 2017
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Executive white male privilege. Party time. Excellent.
29/3 2017
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I’m thinking my next job should be writing bad standup comedy routines for actors who are playing bad standup comics in tv shows or movies. Like you know, if you’re good enough to get hired to play a comedian on tv or in a movie then you’re probably pretty funny so you probably can’t really write bad jokes. So what do you do? You go to Lasse. He’s not good enough to get hired to play a comedian on tv or in a movie, but he does write bad jokes on Facebook. So you buy his jokes. Because actors write their own jokes for their tv shows and movies, that’s the premise for this bit. It’s 4:09 am and I don’t have a punchline.
29/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

29/3 2017
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We’re on break, you’ll have to goat on your own for a little.

29/3 2017
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I think the Twains just met. Mark and his estranged wife… Mrs Mark. Twain. i’m going to bed goodnight.
29/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Make it yours.
30/3 2017
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Good goat times today. However. It’s spring break. Cold and rainy. I did the mistake of dressing too lightly. Brrr. Had a checkup at the doctor in the morning, and then I spent as much time with the goaties before I had to retreat. Mia was not happy that I left early. It’s hard to go with that hysterical bleater calling for me. Hopefully the sun will be back soon. I have heard rumours of 20C/70F weather coming up, though I’m sure I won’t get that muchwhere I live. I’ll be happy if it’s above 10 with sunshine.
30/3 2017
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Oh, A38. I wish you’d come all the way inside.

30/3 2017
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In case you’re American and offended that I have a negative view of your President, rest assured that I strongly, strongly dislike Danish prime minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen as well. Also I hate all the toadying of politics. I guess “Lars Lokke” will get a good photo op out of it, assuming Trump will shake his hand.
Set free the Fenris-wolf and let the awful winter reign.
link: Statement by the Press Secretary on the visit of Prime Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen
30/3 2017
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Not coming out until the rain’s gone. And probably not for a while after that either. I mean, mud. You know.

30/3 2017
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The rogue staff from Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory are really exposing a lot of social injustice and outrageous policy change hashtag oomper loompers justice.
30/3 2017
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The secret lives of that thing I forgot in the fridge.
30/3 2017
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Time to head to bed. I was up early for the doctor’s visit so I’m proper tired now. And also I’d rather be in the dreamworld than this one. I woke up last night, escaping from a terrible nightmare. I still prefer that to reality. I’d rather be chased my magical monsters and fire breathing dragons than suffer the mundane and colourlessness. I”ll slip in my technicolourcoat and fly the night sky on my ten speed broom. Electric, of course. Don’t want to pollute the dreamscape. For glory! For ånder.
30/3 2017
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Today will be a good day, Will Bee.
31/3 2017
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You promised there would be no more mud. … I ‘mpretty sure you said that. … I feel you conveyed we were out of the mud now. I feel that was something you led us to believe.

31/3 2017
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Cooking up some rice for dinner. I haven’t had rice in months. This reminds me of an amusing story about rice, but I can’t tell you because I signed an NDA and Vanilla Rice is super super protective of his privacy. Anyway, dinner’s ready.
31/3 2017
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goatlog
part 1

part 2

31/3 2017
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I’m finally starting to come to terms with the fact that it’s not butter. Now the healing can begin.
31/3 2017
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For no particular reason I was reminded of this. Love that song. Brilliant performance.

31/3 2017
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Had to block Batman on my phone. Wouldn’t stop pestering me about joining the Justice League. Sheesh. I know you’re recruiting, but give me a break. I am busy fighting pizzas on my own, I can’t save your but every time there’s a crisis on infinite Earths.
1/4 2017
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Just finished watching the finale of Legion. Wauw. I love that show. I’m so glad that they didn’t call it Marvel’s Legion and that I had no idea it was connected to any of that. I have no interest in Marvel and not much in superheros of the modern age. If I had thought Legion had anything to do with that I would have missed what might be my favourite new show in the last few years. So good. Some brilliant, original visual flair and music dance numbers and Pink Floyd and Radiohead and that bizarre dreamworld logic feeling that speaks to me through my own dreams. Turning into oldtimey silent movie. Oliver in the ice cube in the astral plane. That episode that started with his narration, that’s one of my favourite bits of all time. And The World’s Angriest boy, I think that’s thing that has scared me the most since BoB of Twin Peaks. I don’t know what it is about him, but he freaked me out every time he appeared. All my thumbs up for this show. If you’re into genre shows, I’d heartily recommend it.
1/4 2017
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Weasonable doubt.
1/4 2017
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Today will be a good day.
I’m declaring April to be International Not Eating Pizza Month.
1/4 2017
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Brb, starting a petition to rename April Fools Day to Troll Day. Or Trolololo Day.
Hashtag fake news.
Hashtag alternative truth or dare.
etc
1/4 2017
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“Han is younger than Fett. Han is about 29 during Beauty and the Beast, whereas Boba would be 32 since he was born shortly after the events of Pocahontas, given that he’s 10 in Atlantis: The Lost Empire. ”
Ahaha. I couldn’t figure out why people on my Star Wars forum were calling the SW movies random Disney names. The first post I read I thought “Oh, Disney owns Star Wars now, so someone’s being cute”. But then I saw it was like that in every single post. Damn you, April 1st.
1/4 2017
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The sun is shining again. I hope it lasts.

1/4 2017
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Heading to bed. Into the wild blue dreamscape, to Jumanji like no one is watching.
1/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

2/4 2017
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You know, I was afraid that Rick & Morty wouldn’t still have it. But watching the season 3 opener made me as happy as a goat with a mouthful of tomato. Amazing. It’s my favourite comedietly televisual programmable.
Nine more seasons, Morty!
2/4 2017
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Nose to nose.

2/4 2017
—
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goatlog

2/4 2017
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Feeling pretty anti-social these days. It’s odd but find myself nostalgic for the days when I was isolated and alone. As horrible as it was, it was also nice and simple and free of the complications called humans. The world was simpler when it was just me and a TV.
Last night I dreamt of being alone and summer reading Stephen King books, except they were Choose Your Own Adventure type books. Pretty sure he’s never written any of those. I just feeling like hiding under my blanket until the world ends.
So, please pardon my isolationalism.
2/4 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.