I’m ready for my Oscar party. I just hope Oscar gets here soon, I had to pay double since it was such short notice and since they were all out slutty police costumes.
Good luck to the Danish movies.
27/2 2017
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And the award for most amateurish Photoshop job done in 5 minutes at 5:18 am when you realised it was Oscar night and you should post something on your goat page goes to…

27/2 2017
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Today will be a bad day. Oh sorry, I read from the wrong note. Today will in fact be a good day. This is not a joke. Today will be a good day.
27/2 2017
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Good goat times today. Cold and wet, though. Light rain and tons of mud. As you can imagine, not the favourite weather of goats and man. But could be worse. Of course Mio was quick to head indoors to keep dry. But we did spend some good time outside too. And A38 had more time than usual to devour her banana, since the big girls were inside when I gave it to her. Didn’t slow her down, though. Also got to say hello to Mousy and Ophelia. That’ll do.
27/2 2017
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“I’ll take my treats in here, please”

27/2 2017
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I am very, very tired. But it’s too early to go to bed. Truly I have known hardship. I hope Casey Affleck will commit to putting on a lot of weight for when he will play me in the movie.
27/2 2017
—
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At least I can take comfort in the fact that when I close my eyes and hug myself tight and listen to Karma Police it still feels like it’s the 90s.
27/2 2017
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I know, Mousy. I am also tired.

27/2 2017
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Alright, that’s it. I’m putting on my space suit and going for a dreamwalk among the stars. See you tomorrow, but not if you see me first.
27/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Yes we can can, tango, flamenco, olé.
28/2 2017
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Where’s A38?

28/2 2017
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I’m tempted to quit my job as unpaid scruffy looking goat herder and instead go into business as Instagram model. I’m pretty sure companies would pay for me to post pictures of myself posing with their products right?
Here’s a previously unposted picture from my famous tomato shoot a couple of years back. Perfect advertisement.
Stay tuned for pictures of me holding a bag of coffee, a tooth brush, a self help book from a charlatan and so on.
PS just kidding. Although I’m tempted to make a parody Instagram account of me posing with every day objects. The only reason I’m not going to do it is because I don’t know what an instagram is.

28/2 2017
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I tomato, therefore I am. Man, I hope tomato season comes back soon.
link: tomato pic
28/2 2017
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Happy Pancake Day! Boy, I really wish I had some pancakes!
This sponsored post was brought to you by pancakes. Everybody loves pancakes!
*picture of me holding pancakes*
28/2 2017
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Exit music (for a day). Heading to bed. I plan to dream far and wide. I might have a beard when I return. See you in another life, brother. When we are both goats.
28/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump days, guys.

1/3 2017
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I keep knocking on my head, but no one answers
1/3 2017
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I’m in one of those sad moods where I don’t want to be part of the world. Luckily I know to just power on through and I’ll feel better. Also luckily pizza.
1/3 2017
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Show me the way

2/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Choo choo.
2/3 2017
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Good goat times today. Needed that. Cold and rainy morning, but the rain pretty much stopped right as I got to the playground, so that was nice. And we even got a bit of sunshine here and there. Still cold, though. And very muddy. I walked around like a mud golem. Caked and baked in mud. But worth it for all the loving.
Had a nice, sweet moment with Mio. Just sitting with my arm around her. She loves the affection. And she’s very calm and sweet, as long as you’re not a goat trying to steal her food. Mia is quite different, she’s very frantic and not so interested in sitting still for long. I can tell the difference when I’m giving them treats or grabbing something out of my backpack while it’s hanging on a fence. Mia immediately comes running, often with a wagging tail. While Mio takes notice and monitors the situation. Until it’s clear that there’s treats to be had, then she starts moving. She doesn’t wanna walk through the mud unless she’s sure it’s going to pay off. I love those two girls, they’ve been a part of my life for so long. Through thick and thin. Waist and hair.
2/3 2017
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Hanging out with Mio.

2/3 2017
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Well that was peculiar. Just to try something new, I ordered pizza today. 30 minutes after it was delivered someone rings my doorbell. I don’t answer because I’m not expecting anyone and I’m blind and alone and my guard goats are on vacation. But they kept ringing and knocking. And it sounded like they were at my neighbours door too. So I finally go out to see who it is. And it’s a pizza delivery guy trying to give me a pizza. Haha. I guess I should have just taken it. Free extra bonus pizza. But I told him I already got my pizza. I’m not sure what happened. Must have been a mixup or something. Now I’ll use the next couple of hours to calm myself down because I HAD TO INTERACT WITH HUMANS.
2/3 2017
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Starting to regret my decision not to accept the bonus extra pizza.
Everyone is always telling me what to do when life hands me lemons, why didn’t anyone tell me what to do when life hands me free pizza?!
2/3 2017
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Mousy decided to take a closer look at my camera just as I snapped a pic.

2/3 2017
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That’s it for today. I’m out. Time to dive into the quicksand and see what devours from beneath.
2/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Believe it true.
3/3 2017
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Everyone’s favourite duo, A38 and Black Beauty.
To be fair, it’s not like they spend a lot of time with eachother. I just like when I catch them close. They’re both calm and gentle hearts.

3/3 2017
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I can officially confirm that I have recused myself from the pizza probe.
3/3 2017
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updated his profile picture.

3/3 2017
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goatlog

3/3 2017
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A set of tarot cards that all say pizza.
3/3 2017
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I wish Noma would stop hanging up on me when I say “but do I have to get reservations for my goats too?”. You try do something nice for your friends…
4/3 2017
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Lasse’s not here, man.
4/3 2017
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Today will be a good day to achieve your goals.
4/3 2017
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Never let it be said that mine is not an inquisitive mind. After all this talk of pineapple and pizzas (and pens?) I decided to give it a try. I had a good exercise today so I rewarded myself with a pizza with pineapple on it. (To be clear, I would have also rewarded myself with pizza if I hadn’t exercised. I’m pretty creative, I would have come up with an excuse).
So what’s my judgment?
I… i like it. It’s pretty good. I’m not sure if I’ll keep ordering it like this, but I certainly don’t think it’s an abomination. Two thumbs up from the Danish Pizza Guy, which is my new youtube channel and instagram profile and tumblr. Please like comment rate and subscribe PS send more pizza.

4/3 2017
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I just found out that Meryl Streep wire tapped my phone. I will admit that I underestimated her. Our feud continues. Hope you enjoyed those hours of me repeatedly guiding my dad through how to attach images in Yahoo mail, Meryl!
4/3 2017
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That face, tho.

4/3 2017
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Heading to bed early on a Saturday night like a rockstar. Mood is swinging considerably. Need a trip to dreamland.
4/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

5/3 2017
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The three lights I found

5/3 2017
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goatlog

5/3 2017
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Last night I was visited by the ghosts of pizzas past, present, and future. It was a truly enlightening experience, and it made me hungry.
5/3 2017
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I don’t usually promote things, I barely even Like/join stuff myself. But just a little shoutout to this page. One for the goat lovers. Since the owner is a good person who’s been kind to me.
link: Barbetta The Laughing Goat page
5/3 2017
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The pizza ghost struck again. Who ya gonna call?
… a pizzeria, I guess.
5/3 2017
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Did you learn nothing from Mrs Doubtfire?!
5/3 2017
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I hope no one ever discovers that I’m using a private email account to run my goat empire.
5/3 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

I hate to be so controversial and divisive, but if you don’t pronounce GIF with a hard G then you’ve been brainwashed by the FAKE NEWS liberal lamestream media.
Discuss.
20/2 2017
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I’m ready for a purell bath

20/2 2017
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It’s night’s like these that I’m glad I remembered to cut the rope bridge behind me so the insane asylum orderlies couldn’t follow me across and and catch me.
20/2 2017
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Now someone tweeted my picture at John Cleese. He’s only got some 5 million followers on Twitter, I’m sure he’ll notice! If you don’t hear from me again then it’s either the Secret Service that have kidnapped me or I’m having tea with John Cleese and telling him why flying goats are funnier than flying sheep.
20/2 2017
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Last night in Sweden…
Oh, and today will be a good day.
20/2 2017
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Good goat times today. A little bit warmer. But grey and moist as well. I managed to film a good 5-6 minutes of excellent tomato time… only to realise I’d left the lens cap on the lens. Whoopsie. Oh well. Didn’t spoil the goats’ enjoyment of the tomatoes at least.
When I was about to leave A38 suddenly got quite animated, looking for treats. Normally she’s so reserved. But she was nibbling at my pockets, flapping the tongue, looking hopefully. And when I started walking she walked alongside of me, and then started walking out in front of me. Like one of those cartoon cats trying to get their owner to trip over them. I guess she got hungry!
Dont’ worry, she got plenty of treats!
20/2 2017
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“Do you have a treat, kind sir?”

20/2 2017
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Time for some emotional support pizza.
20/2 2017
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Mousy was up early today!

20/2 2017
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If only those brave rebel fighters had managed to destroy the Death Star before the Empire tested it on Sweden.
20/2 2017
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Still haven’t heard anything from John Cleese.
20/2 2017
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spoilerish.
.
.
.
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Is it me or is TWD turning into Lord of the Rings? We got The Kingdom. The kingdom of men. And then the new guys. I don’t even know what their deal is, but they kept reminding me of elves. I guess Ezekiel is Aragorn and Jadis is Legolas and the tiger is.. Smaug. And. Wait no, I’ll figure this out and get back to you.
20/2 2017
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Today will be a good day.
Although it’s one of those days where I have to sit and wait for strangers to come do things in my apartment. Yes, I’m having an Eyes Wide Shut party. No no. Having the yearly ventilation system checkup. So they’ll be here sometime between 8am and 4pm. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll be here at 8.05 and be done immediately and I can get to exercising. It could happen.
21/2 2017
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While we’re waiting.

21/2 2017
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At least I can get some goat video editing done while I wait.
This is what it looks like when I edit. In case you were wondering. I am sure you were all dying to know. Good old VirtualDub. I’ve been using that for 15 years probably. I wish I had the eyesight to use some of the more complex video editing suites, but my eyes just can’t cope with them. This works fine for basic editing, though.
So anyway. 8:46, no ventilation checkers yet.

21/2 2017
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11:19 result
21/2 2017
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updated his profile picture.

21/2 2017
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Meanwhile, at the Alien roundtable they’re playing rock-paper-lasers to see who gets the toilet duty of being Earth’s first contact.
21/2 2017
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It’s not uncommon when I’m editing video of A38 that I think to myself “sheesh, she’s so cute”. Also notice the little bit of fluff on the ends of her horns. As they grow woolly in winter they start picking off wool as the scratch themselves with their horns.

21/2 2017
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I am sure my tapdancing neighbours are happy I found this youtube channel with Nirvana concerts. This is a retaliation, isn’t it? I retaliate.
21/2 2017
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Time to retire for the day. You kids behave while I’m gone. I put a padlock on the liquor cabinet (because that’s where I keep my pizza) and don’t look under my bed. Whatever you do, do not look under my bed. I’m serious. Look, you can have the pizza. Just stay away from my bed.
21/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

22/2 2017
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It’s a listen to Nirvana and be disappointed in the human race sort of evening.
22/2 2017
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I feel like NASA is overcompensating about the planets. Just give us Pluto back and we’re cool.
22/2 2017
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I propose a ban on all immigration from those 7 new planets. They’re full of criminals and drug dealers and rapists, from what I’ve heard! I’m just going by what I’ve been told!
22/2 2017
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I just hope one of the 7 new planets will be suitable for the rehoming of Swedish refugees after the recent tragedy.
23/2 2017
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I should not be allowed to watch This Is Us. I need to set up some kind of parental lock on my TV. My emotions are too easily manipulated.
23/2 2017
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FUEGO FUEGO *throws the fire extinguisher at all the things*
23/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. You don’t get as many as you’d probably like, so make it count.
23/2 2017
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Vent her

23/2 2017
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Good goat times today. A little brighter, but a little colder. Still winter. But manageable for now. Went around and picked up branches in the pen (I think someone must have thrown them in there for the goats) and gathered them up in the pile. I like having a pile of branches for the goats to climb around in and snack on, even if there isn’t much fresh bark left. All the while I was doing that, A38 was following me around like a little puppy. Looking up at me with those beautiful eyes. That reminds me so much of Kamel. All the times I’d turn around and shed be there looking up at me with hopeful eyes. Insistent, but so polite compared to the big girls. And here I’m talking in relation to A38, since Kamel was obviously a large lady herself.
23/2 2017
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The grass is purely medicinal, we swear.

23/2 2017
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The captain makes a good point!

23/2 2017
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Omg monster goat run for your lifes!
link: Slomo A38 bleat
23/2 2017
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I can’t be bothered writing another long rant, so just read this one again and when appropriate sprinkle in some Standing Rock, transgender bathroom, press conference, Winter White House, coal in rivers, Nordstrom, Sweden, Bowling Green, nuclear launch codes, Shep Smith, Bannon, Bannon, Bannon and so on and on.
link: fb political rant from 5/2 2017
23/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Let’s be it.
24/2 2017
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It’s a bummer when you lose friends over the political posts. It’s not so bad when it’s just the casual acquaintence that you didn’t have a strong connection with. It’s worse when it’s someone you really liked and found it easy to talk to. That’s kind of rare these days. But on the other hand. If you have strong ideological differences, it’s hard not to let that taint your view of the person. It’s hard to be cheerful and deep with someone who holds views that you find problematic. I wouldn’t unfriend someone over politics, but I understand if people need to unfriend me. it’s sad but so it goes.
I do hope at some point I can get back to not talking about politics at all. I like myself better like that. But the way things are right now, it’s just not possible. I need to let out the words sometimes or they build up and poison me from the inside. And I don’t think this is a time to shut up and put up. Tell it like it is, that’s what we’re supposed to do.
Bla bla, now I’ve let out these words and I’ll go look for a cute goat to post. I just hope I have some, I mean you never know. I might have forgotten to go to the goat store and be fresh out!
24/2 2017
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Oh phew, I still have cute goats to post!

24/2 2017
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I feel like burying my head in the sand.
24/2 2017
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At least we can all agree that red M&Ms are the only good ones.
*ducks*
*penguins*
24/2 2017
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I feel bad. I don’t want to be a source of negativity, for anyone. Not for people I disagree with either. It makes me sad. I know the world isn’t a magic fairytale place where everyone gets along, but I kinda want my little corner to be that. It’s not like arguing in my little corner is going to change anything in the big world anyway.
I’m going to try to keep my posts more positive, not least for my own mental health. I’m not saying I’m not going to need to let out poison now or then and I’m definitely still going to make fun of politicians, from all sides, if they say stupid things. But I’m going to try to stay away from the negativity more. We’ll see how that goes. I’d appreciate if everyone makes the same effort in comments on my page too. Today has been too toxic. I’m afraid to look in the mirror and discover I’ve turned into The Joker.
25/2 2017
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Oh look, it’s the goat and that thing that tries to be a human

25/2 2017
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Turning off for tonight. Off to dreamland, where all problems can be solved by the wave of a hand and a sneeze of my magic dragon. See you when I make it out again.
25/2 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

26/2 2017
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Oh no, Bill Paxton. That’s so sad. I loved him. I gotta do it. Game over, man. Game over. I still say that in my head on a regular basis. 61. Sigh.
26/2 2017
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goatlog

26/2 2017
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Exercise going pretty well. Lost 6 pounds in 2½ weeks. Diet improved too, although I’m still dependant on emotional support pizza. But at least I’m trending in the right direction. Once it gets warmer and I can have tomatoes and cucumbers again it should get even better.
So that’s something.
26/2 2017
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Black Beauty and Perle. BB is mostly getting along well with the other horses. Although every now and then, especially when there’s food out, the older, bigger horses still put her in her place. I guess it’s the same as how Mia and Mio let A38 know who’s the bosses when it comes to food.

26/2 2017
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End of Facebook posts, go go goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.