You know what, I think I’m going to start working FOR Skynet. At this point, I think the robots should win. I shall send myself back in time to assassinate a pizza.
12/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. The days are getting lighter, the weather is getting (a little) warmer. Giddyup.
13/3 2017
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Guys, I had the most amazing dream. It was so beautiful and sad and weird, I think we were toys for aliens and I can’t even explain, but that feeling. That beautiful, wonderful feeling of being in a magic world. Sigh.
13/3 2017
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Good goat times today. Although the weather got cold again. Cold and dark with some rain later on. I thought we were heading for spring… Hope we’ll get there soon.
When I got to the goats I realised I’d dropped one of my mittens on the way. I had to go back and look for it. The goaties were not happy about this particular decision of mine. “YOU JUST GOT HERE, WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ALREADY?!”. Even A38 was bleating after me. I managed to find the lost mitten and came back carrying treats so I think they forgave me. I also had the delight of seeing Black Beauty roll around on her back in the mud. If it wasn’t so cold I would have been tempted to join her. Looked like fun. Messy, but fun.
13/3 2017
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Here’s something else we did today.

13/3 2017
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Terrible! just found out I’m out of cereal. This is McCarthyism!
13/73 2017
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My eyes are in one of those moods where my vision gets blurry and yellow. It’s like I’m viewing the world through a glass of urine.
Sha la la laaa
13/3 2017
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“Dear team or user of Facebook. You are in the most prestigious and most extensive system of Mother Earth landed.The Internet!Every time they go online; Family and friends appreciate your messages. In their timeline and in their profile or by friends, relatives,Colleagues, etc., there is a smile. That’s why I want to send you a few links that lead directly to my music.You should see my text (which can be understood) listen hence YOU get an idea of ??how we live.”
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I think you should work on your text that can be understood.
13/3 2017
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I’m like a Kardashian with my amazingly orchestrated selfies. It takes practice to get half a goat head and some mitten fuzz in the frame. Also I have a sizeable derriere.

13/3 2017
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Dang, this found-footage film is just a bunch of popcorns popping. Worst poltergeist ever.
13/3 2017
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But what if Young Sheldon was the pope?
13/3 2017
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That’s it, I can’t reality anymore. I need to dream away. Sail!
13/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. It is today.
14/3 2017
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No, she’s still not pregnant. Stop asking that!

14/3 2017
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Regretting my decision to manifest into physical form in this dimension.
14/3 2017
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Got myself a birthday card from Cindy Porter! Thank you for thinking of me! Tomorrow’s the big day. And by big day I mean I’m going to sleep a lot.
14/3 2017
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That’s it for today. I’m heading to bed. Tomorrow is the big day. I turn {transmission scrambled} years old. You’re all invited to the party, assuming you’re a pizza and I paid to have you delivered.
14/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys. And happy my birthday, me!

15/3 2017
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Thank you all for the birthday, wishes you make me feel very loved! I may have to see a doctor about this smile, it will not seem to go down!
15/3 2017
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My pizza place forgot to put the pineapple I paid for on my birthday pizza. Do you need more proof that I’m a truly tragic figure?!
Luckily I braved my way through it and still managed to find a little enjoyment in it. It’s a hard knock life.
Haha, and again thank you for all the birthday wishes. I’ve tried to respond to everyone, hope I didn’t miss any.
15/3 2017
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Thank you, Angeline Slaats (and animals) for the funny card and motivational magnet! That’ll go on my fridge! The Danish customs agents opened up your letter, I can’t remember that happening with a simple letter within the EU before. Good thing you didn’t send me anything illegal!
15/3 2017
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It’s been such a happy birthday, I think I’ll just celebrate by watching the finale of This Is Us. The finale is where everything comes together, happily, and everyone is happy and things are good. So I believe this is a wise choice on my part. Get ready to laugh!
15/3 2017
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Okay, thank you Facebox. But can I have the ACTUAL cake?
link: Lasse’s birthday video
16/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Thanks to all the people that made yesterday a good day.
16/3 2017
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Good goat times today. In fact wonderful weather. According to the forecast it was 10C/50F – 13C/55F. I think that’s a record for the year. It was so warm that halfway to the goats I had to take off my little scarf. For the first time since I don’t know, October? And for the first time since the snowdays I found the goats out in the horse pasture. The mud dried up enough for them to go out. So I got a running bleating greeting from Mia. Love those. Later on we took a run through the pasture together. She almost started bucking around like Palle. And even later I got a sure sign that it was warmer, because the goaties started sitting down to relax. I rarely see them do that when it’s cold. Nothing better than sitting down in a pile of goats and just relaxing. I don’t think it’s going to stay this warm from now on, but it’s a nice sign of things to come. We’ll get there. To sunny days and beyond.
16/3 2017
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I missed this. Sitting with goaties.

16/3 2017
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Leftover birthday pizza. Ba da ba ba baaaah I’m lovin it.
16/3 2017
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I call this “The Creek Overfloweth With Tears”

16/3 2017
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Dr Snorkelton I presume?
16/3 2017
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Heading to the dreamscape. Does anyone need anything while I’m out? Maybe I’ll bring back some singing daffodils or some dancing crocodiles in sheep’s clothing. A little stardust for your bowl of gummi bears, or just some of those colours that don’t have any names but feelings instead.
Wait, let me write a grocery list. Starting with one of every pizza, including the ones that haven’t been invented yet.
I just hope the dream shopping karts work better than the ones in the supermarket.
16/3 2017
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Today will be a good d a y because we gotta.
17/3 2017
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goatlog part 1

part 2:

17/3 2017
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A super million thanks to Keiko Murakami for yet another in a long line of wonderful drawings! A beautiful birthday card. Mia and pizza, two of my great loves! Thank you, Keiko. You always outdo yourself.

17/3 2017
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Where’s the “I’m bot-curious” option? Frankly I’m not secure enough in my own humanhood to claim not to be a robot.

17/3 2017
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It’s Friday night and I’m all dressed up in my human suit with nowhere to go.
17/3 2017
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Maybe I’ll watch a horror movie tonight. Anyone seen Invasion Of The Snorkelsnatchers?
18/3 2017
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Regret all your life choices and chill
18/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. There’s always something good in everything.
18/3 2017
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I am a comfortable piece of furniture, please wipe your feet before you walk on me.
18/3 2017
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I’m just going to say what everyone is thinking. It’s time to bring back Futurama. Otherwise, really what’s the point? I mean, of everything.
18/3 2017
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I guess i don’t really need to use perspective to make Yogi look like a little Hobbit goat. She’s already tiny compared to the big girls.

18/3 2017
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Give me a Leonard Nimoy afterworld, so I can watch Robin Williams eternally.
18/3 2017
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Good exercise today. Weight is slowly but surely dropping. I’m at the lowest since October, so that’s good. The holiday bulk is gone. Well, the 2016 holiday bulk. Last year was so traumatizing that I never really got rid of the 2015 holiday bulk. So there’s still aways to go before I’m in a good spot. But at least back to feeling fairly comfortable. Just gotta keep going. And when it gets warmer and I can have good tomatoes and cucumber it’ll only get easier. I’ve gotten used to using a stopwatch program on my PC instead of the computer on the exercise bike. So that’s good too. I do miss being able to see how many km I’ve gone, but I think it’s actually working better for me to use time as a measure of what I’ve done and still need to do.
18/3 2017
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If I didn’t have debilitating social phobia, 90% blindness, flagrant obesity and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope I would have liked to some day go on a JoCo cruise.

18/3 2017
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It’s Saturday night, so I’m heading out to party. And by party I mean go to bed and dreamwalk. If you want a dance, find me in the pale moonlight and pretend no one is watching.
18/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

19/3 2017
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Note to self: Don’t check if the hot plate is on by putting your hand on it.
19/3 2017
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That’s exactly what Inspector Gadget WOULD say if he was undercover.
19/3 2017
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goatlog

19/3 2017
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Goat model #A38

19/3 2017
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Another perfect shot from the masterphotographer, I think it’s a goat. Or a majestic wilderbeast in flight.

19/3 2017
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I threw a dime in the gravity well, but my fish didn’t come true.
19/3 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

Don’t forget to stop and smell the flour.
6/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. I hope it for you.
6/3 2017
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Good goat times today. Blisteringly cold morning, though. Snow falling as I walked to the playground. And a cold wind. That’s always the worst. I felt so bad I almost turned around and went back home. But I survived, bravely, Had my fun with the goat gang. A good part of it spent inside with Mia and Mio. While A38 went to the half-shed for shelter. I wish we could all be inside together. Hopefully they’ll get a new goat place built this summer where that will be possible. Mousy was there too. She was meowing a lot. I figured maybe she wanted to go outside. Mia and Mio were kinda blocking her exit. Gotta respect the Mio train. so I opened a door for her and she slipped out. Eventually the snow stopped. It didn’t really snow enough to last on the ground, just a little here and there around the edges. It’s March, it’s supposed to be spring! Come back, sun.
6/3 2017
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Tiny bit of white around the edges. I think it’s gone already.

6/3 2017
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PS. I love David Letterman.
I miss the golden age of Late Night with Letterman and Ferguson.
6/3 2017
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load “pizza”,8,1
6/3 2017
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I should get a job as a photshopper, because my photoshopping is so great that you almost can’t tell that it’s photoshopped.

6/3 2017
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The Artificial Lasse Database will be shutting down momentarily to perform scheduled maintennance. Please backup your files and take cover in your designated safe zones. Remember to not look directly at the Lasse unless you are wearing prescription sunglasses and singing cool jazz tunes from the 40s. Please be advised that we cannot issue any refunds in case of galactic implosion. We do our outmust to ensure interdimensional integrity, but recent events have stretched reality to its limits and it could snap like a rubber band at any given moment. Do not be alarmed, there will be cookies in the afterlife. Goodnight ,and god save the fish.
6/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Knock it out of the park.
7/3 2017
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Meanwhile, A38.

7/3 2017
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Btw, Jar Jar Binks is featured in the new Star Wars novel Empire’s End. So now we know what he’s been up to after Return of the Jedi.
Speaking as a person who is not a fan of Jar Jar, I have to say… I actually loved the scene. Compassionate, clowny Jar Jar. I think he more or less adopted a refugee orphan. Also funny nods to how fans feel about him. It was good seeing him again and handled so well.
And yes, I do care more about the Star Wars universe than ours.
7/3 2017
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Hey, that’s usually Mia’s move! Happy Tongue out Tuesday.

7/3 2017
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One from today’s exercise mix.

7/3 2017
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New least favourite thing: Youtubers saying “smash that like/subscribe button”. It’s a mouse click. You cannot smash the button. It’s like trying to slam down your iPhone. It don’t work like that, Stop it. Also stop telling me to turn on notifications. I don’t want to hear about the bell.
Please retweet hashtag rant #ThingsYoutubersComplainAbout
7/3 2017
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Hands in the dark
7/3 2017
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Time to go to dreamland.
By the way, stay out of the basement.
7/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Inspirational message with a funny afterthought.
8/3 2017
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Happy hump day, guys.

8/3 2017
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New amazing, beautiful dreams last night. I visited myself as a child. I swear, it didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like I had take a time machine and gone back. Or one of those “a spirit visits you and takes you back to show you something from your past” and I’m so Bill murray.
Another one was the recurring one I have. The circumstance and place changes. But it’s always the same. Going through a store and buying all the candy and cake and chocolate and… all the stuff I’m not supposed to eat. Just tearing it down from the shelves. It’s always a little heartbreaking to wake up from that and realise that the shopping cart full of candy did not follow you back to reality.
I think that’s my most recurring dream. That and the one where I’m in a used book store kind of place and just looking through all the amazing old magic books and stuff. I guess in a way it’s the same dream, in one I’m buying amazing candy in the other I’m buying amazing books, comics, magazines etc.
8/3 2017
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I need to watch Lost again soon. It’s still my favourite show of all time and I’ve watched it through 7-8 times probably. But it’s been years now. I’ve got to go back to the island.
link: Lost article
8/3 2017
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You know those fish that eat dead human skin? I guess they’re like piranhas for zombies.
8/3 2017
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snowlog part 1

part 2:

8/3 2017
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My panda don’t want none unless you got chocolate buns
9/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. We’re on Easy Street.
9/3 2017
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Good goat times today. In fact a lovely day. The temperatures got a little bump. We eve had some sun. If it hadn’t been for the mud it would have felt almost like proper spring. Sitting with Mia and Mio and just nuzzling their faces and relaxing. The mud is pretty bad, though. So bad that Mio didn’t even come over for tomato time. Even seeing Mia get tomatoes wasn’t enough to get her to cross the mudslide. Of course she’s no dummy. She knows uncle Mountain will come to her. Sweet cuddles with A38 too. And met Mousy who was going out on the prowl. And the lady who comes by regularly with kids had brought a couple of carrots that I got to pass on to Black Beauty. She almost had to get in a headbutt duel with Mia over them, but Mia wisely retreated in the end. Even though BB isn’t as terrifying as Mulle was, she’s still a big thing. And carrots aren’t the favourite treat anyway. You gotta know when to fold ’em.
Yeah, yeah. Not bad. Gimme more spring and music that we love.
9/3 2017
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The snuggle is real.

9/3 2017
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Denmark has the musics

9/3 2017
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But then Wilfred was a real dog sniffle
9/3 2017
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Snorkelfork. Patent pending.
9/3 2017
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Heading to dreamland. Bringing a duffel bag of snorkelforks, merkins and gaffer tape. Always come prepared. I’ll leave a trail of pizza crust so I can find my way back out. Unless the hamsterhobgoblins eat them. Which they almost certainly will. Troublesome troglodytes, trolling the terrain. Oh alliteration. All about the afterlife.
9/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. It’s Friday, I’m in pizza leftovers.
10/3 2017
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The three little goats. Does that make me the big bad wolfman?

10/3 2017
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I think I just triggered some snorkelflakes.
10/3 2017
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goatlog

10/3 2017
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I hate when I have to put on my human suit and pretend to be all sentient and existing in space and time.
11/3 2017
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I accidentally started watching Legion. In my defense, I didn’t know it was a Marvel show. Up until now I’ve managed to avoid all the movies and shows from the Marvel universe. I mean, nothing against it. It’s just that I was always a DC guy. And I’m kinda tired of the whole superhero hype. I haven’t even watched Batman vs Superman, even though they’re my two favourites.
Anyway, Legion is amazing. Maybe it’s that whole… dream reality bending thing. That appeals to me because dreams. Also, eleven thumbs up for the use of Radiohead in the latest episode. That was some good stuff.
1:53 am on a Friday night. My social life is rocking. Don’t come a knocking.
11/3 2017
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Despite all my apathy, the rat is still in the cage.
11/3 2017
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Will I have pizza tomorrow?
Magic 8 Ball says… 9?! This 8 Ball is malfunctioning! Unless it means I’ll have 9 pizzas. In which case this 8 Ball makes a lot of good points.
11/3 2017
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I bet if I had a grill people would be all up in it.
11/3 2017
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You know that clip of the guy being interviewed on BBC and his kids get in the room and cause havoc? I bet if I were ever interviewed on live TV the same thing would happen, only with goats.
11/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. You betcha snorkels on it.
11/3 2017
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Every now and then I just need you to love me all the time. I know that’s a lot to ask since I’m constantle falling to pieces and you’re the one who has to pick them up and pick all the dirt and grime out and put me back together again. Plus order me pizza.
In case you haven’t noticed my Facebooking is probably getting worse. I have these lists that I used to use to try to keep up with everyone, but even that seems unmanagable. Now I just look at the top 2-3 stories that Facebox’s algorithm serves up. Even answering comments on my own posts, I am slipping there too. I just want to astral project into the dreamscape or sit with goats. I’m not feeling the facebox so much. Don’t get me wrong, I love you guys and you make life more tolerable. I’ve just been running on fumes for so long, the check engine sign has been blinking forever. Also I don’t know what car analogies mean. Anyway. Maybe things will get better as spring warms up. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few Lasses. Knock on wood.

11/3 2017
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The snorkeldork with goats

11/3 2017
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Speaking of Baal. One of my favourite Danish bands. At least their two first albums.
Thread

11/3 2017
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There is a TV show called Mama June From Not To Hot. I hope you guys aren’t out collecting all the money in the world, because it still wouldn’t be enough to get me to watch.
Also, a gay character in a Disney movie?! Outrageous. Won’t somebody please think of the children. What’s next? TWO gay characters in a Disney movie? It’s a slippery slope. How horrible. Also I propose a law that says you can only have one eggplant per text, that way you won’t have them accidentally rubbing up against each other if there are more than one. And none of them are allowed to use the bathroom unless a Republican senator is watching through a glory hole. This went a little off the rails, but it’s okay. Alienating people is the only way to prepare them for the inevitable alien invasion.
11/3 2017
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Okay, back to the dreamscape. See you when the fat hutt sings.
11/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

12/3 2017
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More wonderful dreams last night. The highlight was probably Obama coming to celebrate the last day of school with my class. No wait scratch that. The higlight was teh baby goat rolling around with glee on the beach where we were.
12/3 2017
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It’s Sanity Saving Time, so I’m going to set my clock back to the 90s.
12/3 2017
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goatlog

12/3 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.