Today will be a good day. Fight for your right to partake.
27/3 2017
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Good goat times today. A gorgeous day. Might have been the warmest of the year yet. I only wore a t-shirt under my coat, and even that was too much. I had to leave my coat open. I probably could have even taken the coat off alttogether, it’s practically t-shirt weather now. I arrived at Goatlandia to find Mia had already started the chillaxing. Sitting in the middle of the horse pasture, with Mio standing next to her and A38 a little farther away on her other side. I love lounging in the sun with the goaties. It’s only going to get better when it’s warmer and there’s grass all around. At least the mud has dried up.
I brought the saltines that I received from a friend of Mia’s page (thanks Beth!). I don’t think I’ve ever given the goaties saltines before. They were a big hit. And since we were in the horse pasture it didn’t take long for the horses to come over to see if there were treats for them. I wasn’t sure if it was okay for them to have saltines. Luckily I’d had the good foresight to bring a few carrots. So everyone was happy. I think Black Beauty is starting to get a little Mulleish. in the sense that she likes to come over to me and say hi several times a day. Hoping for treats no doubt. She’s still calm and sweet, though. No crazy drama queen behaviour. Much to the relief of the goats.
Other than that it was mostly just a lot of sitting in the sunshine. Giving foot rubs and back rubs and treats and smoochies. At one point I looked at the clock on my camera and was surprised to see that I’d only been there for an hour. “That can’t be right” I thought, “it feels like it’s been much longer”. Well, I’d forgotten to set the camera clock an hour forward on Daylight Savings Hellpalooza. So, it had actually been two hours at that point. But who’s counting when you’re with goats!
27/3 2017
—
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Ahh, almost like the good old days. One of the favourite spots from last summer. Sitting in front of the gate to the horse pasture. It’ll be even nicer when there’s grass there instead of dried mud.

27/3 2017
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Twas a lovely walk to the goats today. Even with tired legs from two days of exercising. It’s so nice in the sun. With wonderful Norse mythology in my ears. That walk along the highway has become like a treasure chest of memories for me now. When I walk the path along the road I can almost hear all the audiobooks again. I can hear John Cleese talking about growing up in Britain, I can hear the wizard Dragon, the Anansie boys. Mr Bones, the singing dancing murderbot. the four bikers of the apocalypse, the red wheelbarrow, the human sized owls, the manifs. And so on and so forth. Walking that road makes me want to reread everything read.
27/3 2017
—
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Sleeptime. Off to dreamwalk. Along the highway of stories sung and vines swung and the sun and the moon and the staircase that I bought but which unfortunately seems to go down.
27/3 2017
—
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Today will be a good day. Love it like baby goats.
28/3 2017
—
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A38 out casting shadows.

28/3 2017
—
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goatlog

28/3 2017
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Wonderful dreams last night. In one of them I suspected I was in a dream, but then I looked around and noticed all the little details (of my old room in our old house where I haven’t been in 10 years) and thought “no, it’s too real. This can’t be a dream”. I tend to think of dreams as fragile things. Like soap bubbles that will burst if you poke them. Or fantasy monsters that have no power over you if you don’t believe in them. Or a mirage that will fold if you question it. But I guess dreams are sturdier than that. They will bend a lot before they break. They will readjust if you’re doubting them. They will try to convince you that they’re real. I’m impressed with the strength of dreams. Also I tend to think of dreams as fairly vague. As impressionist paintings, as blurry photographs. Watercolours. But I think that’s because the details fade when you wake up. When you’re in them, they are very well put together with sharp and crisp details. When I woke up this morning I remember marvelling at the little details from the dream. I don’t remember what those details are now, they have blurred out in the background of my mind. But at the time, they were so in focus.
Anyway, I just like to dream.
There was also another part with goats.
28/3 2017
–
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When are they making the Tom Bombadil movie?
28/3 2017
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I’m not the only one who enjoys sitting in the sunshine.

29/3 2017
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Plans for tonight: Watch Bates Motel, The Walking Dead & Into The Badlands while editing goat videos until I pass out. Or as we call it in the house Lasse built, regular Tuesday.
29/3 2017
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Executive white male privilege. Party time. Excellent.
29/3 2017
—
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I’m thinking my next job should be writing bad standup comedy routines for actors who are playing bad standup comics in tv shows or movies. Like you know, if you’re good enough to get hired to play a comedian on tv or in a movie then you’re probably pretty funny so you probably can’t really write bad jokes. So what do you do? You go to Lasse. He’s not good enough to get hired to play a comedian on tv or in a movie, but he does write bad jokes on Facebook. So you buy his jokes. Because actors write their own jokes for their tv shows and movies, that’s the premise for this bit. It’s 4:09 am and I don’t have a punchline.
29/3 2017
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

29/3 2017
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We’re on break, you’ll have to goat on your own for a little.

29/3 2017
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I think the Twains just met. Mark and his estranged wife… Mrs Mark. Twain. i’m going to bed goodnight.
29/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Make it yours.
30/3 2017
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Good goat times today. However. It’s spring break. Cold and rainy. I did the mistake of dressing too lightly. Brrr. Had a checkup at the doctor in the morning, and then I spent as much time with the goaties before I had to retreat. Mia was not happy that I left early. It’s hard to go with that hysterical bleater calling for me. Hopefully the sun will be back soon. I have heard rumours of 20C/70F weather coming up, though I’m sure I won’t get that muchwhere I live. I’ll be happy if it’s above 10 with sunshine.
30/3 2017
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Oh, A38. I wish you’d come all the way inside.

30/3 2017
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In case you’re American and offended that I have a negative view of your President, rest assured that I strongly, strongly dislike Danish prime minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen as well. Also I hate all the toadying of politics. I guess “Lars Lokke” will get a good photo op out of it, assuming Trump will shake his hand.
Set free the Fenris-wolf and let the awful winter reign.
link: Statement by the Press Secretary on the visit of Prime Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen
30/3 2017
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Not coming out until the rain’s gone. And probably not for a while after that either. I mean, mud. You know.

30/3 2017
—
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The rogue staff from Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory are really exposing a lot of social injustice and outrageous policy change hashtag oomper loompers justice.
30/3 2017
—
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The secret lives of that thing I forgot in the fridge.
30/3 2017
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Time to head to bed. I was up early for the doctor’s visit so I’m proper tired now. And also I’d rather be in the dreamworld than this one. I woke up last night, escaping from a terrible nightmare. I still prefer that to reality. I’d rather be chased my magical monsters and fire breathing dragons than suffer the mundane and colourlessness. I”ll slip in my technicolourcoat and fly the night sky on my ten speed broom. Electric, of course. Don’t want to pollute the dreamscape. For glory! For ånder.
30/3 2017
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Today will be a good day, Will Bee.
31/3 2017
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You promised there would be no more mud. … I ‘mpretty sure you said that. … I feel you conveyed we were out of the mud now. I feel that was something you led us to believe.

31/3 2017
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Cooking up some rice for dinner. I haven’t had rice in months. This reminds me of an amusing story about rice, but I can’t tell you because I signed an NDA and Vanilla Rice is super super protective of his privacy. Anyway, dinner’s ready.
31/3 2017
—
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goatlog
part 1

part 2

31/3 2017
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I’m finally starting to come to terms with the fact that it’s not butter. Now the healing can begin.
31/3 2017
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For no particular reason I was reminded of this. Love that song. Brilliant performance.

31/3 2017
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Had to block Batman on my phone. Wouldn’t stop pestering me about joining the Justice League. Sheesh. I know you’re recruiting, but give me a break. I am busy fighting pizzas on my own, I can’t save your but every time there’s a crisis on infinite Earths.
1/4 2017
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Just finished watching the finale of Legion. Wauw. I love that show. I’m so glad that they didn’t call it Marvel’s Legion and that I had no idea it was connected to any of that. I have no interest in Marvel and not much in superheros of the modern age. If I had thought Legion had anything to do with that I would have missed what might be my favourite new show in the last few years. So good. Some brilliant, original visual flair and music dance numbers and Pink Floyd and Radiohead and that bizarre dreamworld logic feeling that speaks to me through my own dreams. Turning into oldtimey silent movie. Oliver in the ice cube in the astral plane. That episode that started with his narration, that’s one of my favourite bits of all time. And The World’s Angriest boy, I think that’s thing that has scared me the most since BoB of Twin Peaks. I don’t know what it is about him, but he freaked me out every time he appeared. All my thumbs up for this show. If you’re into genre shows, I’d heartily recommend it.
1/4 2017
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Weasonable doubt.
1/4 2017
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Today will be a good day.
I’m declaring April to be International Not Eating Pizza Month.
1/4 2017
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Brb, starting a petition to rename April Fools Day to Troll Day. Or Trolololo Day.
Hashtag fake news.
Hashtag alternative truth or dare.
etc
1/4 2017
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“Han is younger than Fett. Han is about 29 during Beauty and the Beast, whereas Boba would be 32 since he was born shortly after the events of Pocahontas, given that he’s 10 in Atlantis: The Lost Empire. ”
Ahaha. I couldn’t figure out why people on my Star Wars forum were calling the SW movies random Disney names. The first post I read I thought “Oh, Disney owns Star Wars now, so someone’s being cute”. But then I saw it was like that in every single post. Damn you, April 1st.
1/4 2017
—
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The sun is shining again. I hope it lasts.

1/4 2017
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Heading to bed. Into the wild blue dreamscape, to Jumanji like no one is watching.
1/4 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

2/4 2017
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You know, I was afraid that Rick & Morty wouldn’t still have it. But watching the season 3 opener made me as happy as a goat with a mouthful of tomato. Amazing. It’s my favourite comedietly televisual programmable.
Nine more seasons, Morty!
2/4 2017
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Nose to nose.

2/4 2017
—
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goatlog

2/4 2017
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Feeling pretty anti-social these days. It’s odd but find myself nostalgic for the days when I was isolated and alone. As horrible as it was, it was also nice and simple and free of the complications called humans. The world was simpler when it was just me and a TV.
Last night I dreamt of being alone and summer reading Stephen King books, except they were Choose Your Own Adventure type books. Pretty sure he’s never written any of those. I just feeling like hiding under my blanket until the world ends.
So, please pardon my isolationalism.
2/4 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

Today will be a good day. You don’t have to complete the journey todfay, you just have to take some good steps.
20/3 2017
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Facebook has started giving me the memories thing. Lots of sighs. One year today.
link: Fuzzy & Palle photo
20/3 2017
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Good goat times today. Spring is a little on hold, though. Mostly grey and a little cooler than last week’s outings. But at least it’s not freezing. Got some good cuddles in with the 3 goatsketeers. And delivered water to the horses. Their big tub doesn’t get filled until a little later in the day, so if they come up to the fence I’ll take the goats’ water bucket and hold it out for the horsies to drink. I can go fill that water pretty easily. So that way everyone wins. Except of course tor the minute I’m out of sight while refilling the bucket. That’s always accompanied by loud complaints from the peanut gallery.
20/3 2017
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I told myself I wasn’t going to order pizza today. And now my pants are on fire. Are you happy now, is this what you wanted?! DON’T LOOK AT ME!
20/3 2017
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Everyone’s favourite goat and horse duo, A38 and Black Beauty.

20/3 2017
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Happy Spring eggnog!
20/3 2017
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Time travels for no man. I am the ghost of pizza past. I am become sneeze. I am affordable gesundheitcare. Eye am sick. Follow the yellow brick road to a heart attack and a brain tumor and nothing but fear itself. I am fire and ice, ice baby. I an random function of the multiplier. I have no mouth and I must dream. I walk alone with you, I lost the thread. in a stack of needles, and pinheads, skinheads, dobermans and lynch mobs. lunch meat pond scum. I think I need a drinking problem. I’m going to go hide my head in the sand. Wake me up come armageddon.
20/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. We can do that.
21/3 2017
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I had a wonderful dream. It was a school reunion I think. Or maybe just a school party, back in time. In any case. For some reason Kristen Bell was there and was talking to me and seemed to know me and care bout me. And she complimented me and tried to make me feel good about myself in a way that I rarely do. It was almost like she was a surrogate for my Facebookerinos. She was also very pretty and being near her was a little magical. And then also for another some reason Carrie Fisher was there. Yes, I love dream magic. She was very sick, though. Very, very poor health. Like, close to death. I was sitting at another table but when I got the chance I went over and sat across for her just to be near her a little. And I got to say some personal things to her and kiss her hand before she left.
I just want to go back to that world and live there. Why do I have to spend time in this reality full of coldness and greed and blindness and anxiety and war and pain and loneliness and no Carrie Fisher.
21/3 2017
—
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I reject your reality and substitute leftover pizza.
21/3 2017
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The goat pose.

21/3 2017
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Heading to bed. Also arming to bed, toeing to bed, necking to bed, legging to bed, footing to bed. And also the bits I can’t mention on Facebook. Hopefully I’ll be able to put myself back together again tomorrow. I’ll thank you not to stare at the thumb in my forehead.
21/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

22/3 2017
—
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goatlog

22/3 2017
—
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Where’s the off button on this thing
22/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. sSteer yourself in the right direction.
23/3 2017
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Good goat times today. A beautiful day with lots of sun. I think we may have reached the magic 10C/50F. I can feel that change from struggling to stay as long as possible with the goats in the cold, to the struggle of getting myself to leave because I just want to sit longer in the sun with them.
Brought a couple of carrots that I handed to Black Beauty and Sille. Mia tried to get in on the action too, but then when I let her sniff at them she deigned not up to her high standards. And then changed her mind again when I went back to giving them to the horses. And then changed her mind again when I let her sniff at them again. “I Mean, yeah I don’t WANT them, but that doesn’t mean I want you to give them to someone else!”.Oh dear.
We had some sweet visitors too. A little girl came up to the fence and called out to me, asking if she could come into the pen. I told her she’d have to get permission, but I went over to her and got Mia and Mio to follow me so she could pet them through the fence. Actually she was hanging over the fence, practically falling over. She told me she was a triplet. One of them was in school, but she and her brother, I think, had some kind of health issues so they’d accompanied their mother who was visiting our place to check on one of the horses. The girl told me that it was her birthday soon, and then counted off the days until then. I asked her how old she’d be, but she couldn’t remember. Oh well. Haha. She asked about the goats and we talked a little. Then her brother came over and said hi. And the girl asked me “what was that one’s name?” and I said “Mio” and she said to her brother, who was standing right next to us “that one is called Mio”. And we repeated that for the two other goats. Eventually their mother came over, and we let them come into the pen so they could spend a little proper time with the goats. Sweet and fun. As they left their mother thanked me and wished me a nice day. And then the girl thanked me and wished me a nice day. It’s always nice when you can help kids have a good experience with the goats.
23/3 2017
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It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood.

23/3 2017
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On my way home from the goats today I got a phone call. I can’t see my phone screen when I’m outside in the sun, so I figured I’d better just answer it. An English speaking person speaking in a pretty thick African-like accent started talking. He asked how I was and started saying something about being from a newspaper. Eh, scammer. I checked my call history and I’ve had calls from that number like 5 times the last year. It was probably them last I got asked to answer a survey thing, did I mention that? Anyway. Hung up. Obvious scam is obvious. But the amusing part was when he tried to say my name. You know the Monty Python sketch? “No no no, it’s pronounced Raymond Luxury Yacht, but it’s spelled Throatwobbler Mangrove”. It reminded me of that. “Yes I’m looking for a Mr Lasse.. Linno…Thumbtwiddler Filet-Mignon”. I didn’t realise my surname was so complicated, he really did a number on it. I wish I had recorded the conversation so I could type out exactly what he said. It wasn’t even close. It didn’t even contain any Henrik at all.
23/3 2017
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Time to filibuster reality and wake up into a dream. Somewhere I matter where there’s no matter. Mad as a hatter.
23/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. There will always be good days.
24/3 2017
—
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all matter lives

24/3 2017
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Whenever I stumble onto Columbo on the televisual engine I always have a hard time tearing myself away. There’s just something about it that captivates me. I can’t think of any other televisual programmables of that age that holds the same fascination for me. Also I am a ghost and everything is grey.
24/3 2017
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Shoutout thankyous to CarolAnn Ellis and Deborah Ladd for wonderful birthday cards! Thanks for giving me a smile!
I also got a package with saltines and peanuts from a friend of Mias page. Score!
24/3 2017
—
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Typical A38 pose in the background.

24/3 2017
—
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Wouldn’t it be funny if Han Solo’s real name turned out to be Han Skywalker? Maybe Leia ended up with her own brother after all.
Forgive me, princess.
24/3 2017
—
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If you don’t feel a deep need to shout out the woos in Bohemian Like You then I think you just failed the turing test.
24/3 2017
—
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All my life I worked so hard to become a lion tamer. Now that all the lions are tame, what am I supposed to do with myself?
25/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Work through it.
25/3 2017
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If you aren’t Kung Fu fighting then you’re part of the problem.
Ima go exercise.. Hiiiiyah
25/3 2017
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Just want one thing, just to play the king. Where’s your crown, King Nothing?’
One from today’s exercise mix. Apropos nothing, naturally.

25/3 2017
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Where we’re from, the birds sing a pretty song and there’s always music in the air.

25/3 2017
—
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goatlog

25/3 2017
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This is an official statement certifying that I do not give consent to any of my personal information or public posts being used to train an army of cyborgs with artificial intelligence how to defeat the human race. Copy/paste if you agree that humans rock and cyborgs suck.
25/3 2017
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Brb, working on my soon to be self-published books of Twitter/Facebook statuses that I typed out but then deleted before posting. A truly astounding mix of the unfunny and the obscene. If you don’t offend anyone then you haven’t really offbegun.
Now to to consider whether I should post this or add it to the book…
25/3 2017
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I’m out for tonight. Tonight I’m going to lose an hour. I really should cut back on the hard drugs.
And by drugs I mean pizza. And tonight is daylight saving in Denmark. Let’s do the daylight safety dance. Somebody saaaaave me. I made this whole world shine for you. Took an age lighting all those candles.
25/3 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

26/3 2017
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Snorkelpuffs. That was tough. First time this year that I exercised two days in a row. With snowpants, shirt, plastic bag, two space heaters and some glorious sunshines from outside. Kicked my ash. But good result on the weight. It’s that payoff afterwards that makes it all worthwhile god I wish I had pizza.
26/3 2017
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Started listening to Norse Mythology today. I love listening to Neil Gaiman, definitely one of the cases were having the author read the book is a big bonus.
So far I’m greatly enjoying it. It takes me back to when I was a kid in school and we learned about the norsy mythology. That was a typo, but I’ll keep it in. The norsy mythology. I remember being fascinated by it at the time. Also by the whole idea of the ancient Danes believing in it. Hearing the thunder and thinking it was the gods. The gods and the giants and worms and wolves and snakes. There was also a Danish animation movie called Valhalla that was a really big deal back then. It was like a Disney class (more or less) movie and I remember being fascinated with that too. You didn’t get a lot of movies like that from Denmark. So I’m happy to re-acquaint myself with the myths, and hearing them from such a great storyteller. Gaiman always reminds me of how I used to want to be a writer.
26/3 2017
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Meet me at the water bucket, bring bananas.

26/3 2017
—
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goatlog

26/3 2017
—
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A digital camera where you have to shake the memory card like a polaroid picture to develop the photo.
26/3 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week, see you in the next one.