aha. Just got called “a real man” in a comment because I wasn’t afraid to show I love the goats. I like that. I will freely admit I’m not the manliest of men. And I don’t particularly care to be. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put on my lumberjack shirt and smoke a cigar and drink some beer and watch the game of balls with feet on the televisual contrapment.
24/10 2016
—
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Today will be a good day. Pay it forward and play it again, Sam. Hope you’re all in for a good week.
24/10 2016
—
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Good goat times today. Cold morning, but we had some sun before the clouds came in. The goats didn’t notice me at first when I arrived. So I stood at the fence and watched them foraging in the dark forest, through my zoom lens. And then I whistled after them and Mia raised her head, looking around and bleating out. And soon enough they came running to me. Carefully avoiding patches of mud. Yeah, parts of the pen is a mudhole now. Including the part right in front of the stable door. Which my shoes got a close look at. Also some funny scenes of Mia jumping over the mudpool in full sprint.
When I got there I met Anne too. She told me they had new baby bunnies. So we went inside and she showed me the little furballs. Adorable. Meanwhile Mia was hollering outside. “I finally found you and the you leave to look at OTHER furballs? I am much cuter than they” she said, of course.
Took Mia and Mio out for some green buffet out of the pen. I was planning to get A38 out too, but with all the mud everything was a little more complicated. And by the time I got back to bring her, Anne was sitting at the fence talking to her. So I thought I’d let them have their time and let the big girls enjoy the vegetation with me.
Tis the season for muddy pants and hoofprints on my coat now.
24/10 2016
—
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Well, what do we have here. All three goaties under the same roof. It’s something.

24/10 2016
—
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Walking Dead
spoiler space
Sort of spoilers, but not spelling it out.
.
.
.
.
NAILED IT.
My prediction came true. I remember deducing it, but I don’t remember the logical steps that lead me to the conclusion. I do remember posting about it on Facebook, so you can go back and check. You’ll only have to go through 154000 fart jokes and goat photos. So now you’ll all surely believe my prediction that Gary Johnson will win the US election. I just have a way of predicting the outcome of giant, horrible clusterclucks.
I mean. I predicted the first one. The second one.I. Didn’t. That was actually rather well played. Grim, though. A fandango most grim.
24/10 2016
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You know those tube transports in Futurama? I want to have one installed that leads from my pizza place to my bed. And then I want to bury myself in my wellness quilt for the next 6 months. I’m tired and the world is full of pointy edges.
24/10 2016
—
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Heading to bed.
Oh, vampire bat. I just got that.
I nominate Negan to moderate the next debate.
And so on and so forth I need sleep.
24/20 2016
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Today will be a good day.
Didn’t get off to the best start, though. I was supposed to get up early and go see the goats. But the demons attacked. Whispered in my ear about how cold and dark it was outside, what a horrible, nasty world it is full of clowns and trolls. How much better the dreamworld is. Tugged away warmly in wellness. I couldn’t escape. The dreamworld is beautiful and magic, it’s like a drug to me. Oh well. Now here we are. Make the best of the rest.
25/10 2016
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Oh, it just occured to me. That’s another thing that A38 has in common with Kamel. She’s pretty good at photobombing.

25/10 2016
—
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Pizza with benefits
25/10 2016
—
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Hey, man. Sænk farten.

25/10 2016
—
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Looks like it’s a Morrissey and space heater kinda evening.
25/10 2016
—
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Always a good sign when the meme I’m working on is making me smile as I change the typeface and try to keep the punchline centered.
Also always a good sign when I get an email saying “your pizza order is accepted”.
Feels like a Morrissey, space heater, pizza, interactive fiction and chill kinda evening.
25/10 2016
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into the night, across the stars, filth and disease and bodies under the floorboards and the last straw is always the shortest straw, right next to the right one must fall, rivers running into the cracks in the pavement, tears running over cracked skin, more trouble than you’re worth, why do you go into the darknesss when you know there are monsters?
26/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Let’s day the day day, day.
26/10 2016
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Haha. Sometimes you just know the universe is planning to mess with you.
I stayed home today because I was waiting for a package from overseas. Waiting all day. Exercising. Decide to go in the shower for 10 minutes. When does the delivery guy come? Five minutes into the shower. Of course. But aha, I knew it. I knew the universe couldn’t resist delivering the package in that tiny window of time that I was unavailable. So I laid out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers next to the shower. And listened carefully. And sure enough. Ding dong went the doorbell. I knew from past experience that there is not enough time to dry off and get properly dressed before they leave a package slip and go. So I just stumbled out of the shower and threw on the shirt and boxers, and there I was opening the door. A bald guy, soaking with with water dripping down him, wearing just a t-shirt and boxers. I’m sure that’ll be a good story at the postman’s ball. But I got my package. I win this round, universe. You may have won the past 452 rounds and you may win every round from now on. Bujt I won this one. I got my package.
A packaged I could have easily just picked up at the post office in a day or two with the package slip. But that’s not the point. The point is I’m a winner and I am invincible and nothing could possibly go wrong, and these will make great famous last words.
26/10 2016
—
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..and happy hump day, guys.

26/10 2016
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goatlog

26/10 2016
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Time to head to bed. Not feeling fully functional yet, but hopefully tomorrow will arrive and the binaries will compile into something that attains a certain level of free will and general comprehension of the matrix. Don’t make me turn this 1903 style aeroplane around!
26/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Bring some light.
27/10 2016
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Good goat times today. I hate waking up in a dark room. I miss the summer, the sun, the warmth. But ok. Today wasn’t bad, actually. The temperatures were up by a couple of degrees and it made a difference. Along with a good deal of sun. Much nicer. Brought my tripod to do some goat filming. Didn’t quite turn out as I had hoped, because the mud kept the goaties from following directions. (Yes, surely without the mud they would have done exactly what I wanted..). As much as they love food, a big pile of mud and horsepies will still make them halt. And then they stand and look at you with that longing in their face. And you just have to go deliver the treats to them, because you can’t say now. What a terrible fix.
Hopefully I got some useable footage anyway. We’ll see when I get the editing done. I’m pretty sure this is how Spielberg got started.
27/10 2016
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Long shadows

27/10 2016
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There’s a surprising amount of curse words in Moby’s memoirs.
27/10 2016
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“But I was a Christian, and Christians weren’t supposed to beat people to death with crowbars”.
Moby has a point

27/10 2016
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This is not a party political broadcast on behalf of anyone, but in case you were wondering if Denmark is interested in the US election…

27/10 2016
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Turning off the mainframe for the night. Putting on my walking boots and pajamas and taking a hike in the rolling hills and thunder of the dreamlands. I’ll row my little rowboat out on the lake of mud and read some pottery while the ants build their hills of babel in the real world.
My brain has sort of abandoned Facebook, so I’m sorry if I’m missing posts. I’ll try to re-calibrate, or failing that I’ll get Clone 3 to make a clone of Clone 4 and then they’ll teach this clone to keep up with Facebook. (We’re all)
27/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Thank you for emgoodening it for me.
28/10 2016
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Do you ever feel like just cashing in all your life savings and just getting on the bus and seeing how far you can get?
28/10 2016
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A wider shade of Mio

28/10 2016
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Ugh. That thing when you feel like opening a can of worms. A basket of bees. A box of pandoras. But you know you shouldn’t. You know you really shouldn’t.
I also didn’t expect to get triggered by a discussion about the Ahsoka novel on a Star Wars forum. *gnaws fist*
28/10 2016
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Mulder & Sully: How We Crashed A UFO Into The Hudson. A musical memoir. Available now in alt.reality bookstores.
28/10 2016
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Look. I swear, I thought this was a nudist china shop. Otherwise I would have made my bull wear boxers.
28/10 2016
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drifting, strands of spiderweb being pulled apart by the breeze. losing the connections that once seemed unbreakable. slowly becomg apart
29/10 2016
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Today will be a good day.
It’s the last day before we turn back the clocks, and i’m a little worried that the clocks might rebel because they feel like they have nothing left Toulouse. But you know, we’ll see how it goes.
29/10 2016
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Hey, you got a lot to love

29/10 2016
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On a bit of a Moby kick right now. I didn’t even know he had a new album out, I just happened to be reading his memoir when I found out about it. I like the new album. In the process of downloading his old stuff too. Even though it’s not really a genre I normally partake in, I’m finding it pretty good and interesting. I like Moby. I can imagine he’s a bit too much for some people. But I don’t mind some people being too much when doing the right thing. As long as the right thing is… right. I like in his memoir how he’s quite self deprecating and aware of his faults. Several times he’s musing about how he’s being quite judgmental towards others and how it reflects poorly back on himself. I think that’s a nice thing to be self aware about. I think we’ve all been there, judging others. For their taste in music, clothes, their appearance, their health. Their weight, their naivety, their obsessive late night mad ranting and endless goat photos. Or other things that I could just completely randomly pick out of thin air, it could be anything really., stop looking at me.
Also something I like about his memoirs is how they’re peppered with references to things he’s reading as he’s going about his life. Dune, Star Trek, Arthur C Clarke. How his Christianity was important to him, but Twin Peaks was overshading it at one point. And he’s funny and wants to be a good person and champion animal rights etc. He would probably judge me for not having attained vegan status yet, but he seems like the kind of guy I’d like to be friends with. And then he could fund my goat sanctuary and we could discuss Dune and he could tell me about Kierkegaard. And we could be annoying and save the world together. I’m sorry, I’ll continue this on fanfic.net.

29/10 2016
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goatlog. That one super silly morning.

29/10 2016
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I was going to do some kind of Looney Tunes, That’s All Folks thing with this. But then I realised I’d have to spend a couple of hours properly learning how to do layers in photoshop and instead I figured I’d spend 30 seconds typing this and you could all imagine it. Thanks guys, this made my work a lot easier. Teamwork!

29/10 2016
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Heading to bed. Before the weight of water in the atmosphere cracks my bones and crushes my head. The weather forecast say we might get nightfreeze and snow or sleet next week. Good thing I’m not seasonally repressed.
I need my bed. An extra hour of sleep can be afforded tonight. Let’s hope that saves daylight. Otherwise we’ll have to unfreeze the expendables and hope they haven’t expanded too much.
29/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

30/10 2016
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What if like WE’RE the zombies and this is the apocalypse. Man. Or like. Dude. What if I’M the pizza, and the world is a vampire.
30/10 2016
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Nevermind setting the clocks back one hour. How about setting the clocks free? Time is just a construct designed to trap us all in the system’s slavery. These systems are failing. Don’t follow the seconds and minutes and hours as they go marching off the cliff. Don’t conform to the standards of the regime, man. What is a second TO YOU. Free your time and the rest will follow.
30/10 2016
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goatlog

30/10 2016
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Apparently, according to my pizza place there’s no such thing as “Daylight Savings Free Extra Pizza”. So I got an hour’s extra sleep but not an extra pizza. You win some, you lose some.
30/10 2016
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—
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End of Facebook archive.
On with photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

If I never get my memoirs written, I hope at least my demons will write one. That would probably be more interesting anyway. They have a lot of stories to tell.
17/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. This is your warning. Let’s make it a good week too, for good measure.
17/10 2016
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Good goat times today. Grey, but almost no rain. About 10C/50F. Helped to have a little mini-scarf around my neck, under my coat. Still brought out hand-warmers at the end of the day, though.
No one there but me today. I guess because it’s fall vacation in Denmark. So I got to take the goats out in the morning. And put them back in when I left, for the first time at the new place. Showed the diference between the goaties. I had to wrestle Mia a bit to get her to stay in the stall she shares with Mio. Then I figured I’d have to go round up A38, because surely she would have skipped town to go galivanting outside after I took the big girls in. Nope. She was standing, quietly waiting outside her private stall. I have never met such a well mannered, little goat.
Lots of fun in between taking them out and putting them back in. More than I had bargained for, even. Mia was walking along the fence and I looked up and.. wait, was she OUTSIDE the fence? Yes. She was. Escape artist. I thought she must had jumped the fence. Which would be bad news, I think she probably COULD jump the fence if motivated enough. But I don’t want her to realise that, because then she might be jumping it all the time, when I’m not there too. Which surely is how Peanut ran things when he stayed there. But okay, I climbed the fence and dragged Mia around the building to get her through the door and back in the pen. I probably could have made it a little easier on her by getting the leash or luring her with food. But I figured making the experience a little bit unpleasant might deter her from doing it again. She employed her usualy tactic of pacifist resistance. Aka dropping to her knees and making it hard to drag her anywhere. But I got her back in the pen. We went over to the fene again and I was making sure she couldn’t get a running start to jump the fence… but then.. she was outside again. And then I saw, a hole in the mesh wiring. She didn’t jump the fence. She went through the hole. Oh my. Well, I figured instead of getting her back in the pen I’d take the two others out and let them all do a little trimming of the bushes outside. So I ploppped an old tire up to block the hole and then I started bringing Mio and A38 out through the door and around the building to join Mia. And when we got around the building… Mia was back in the pen. I guess she jumped the fence to get IN. Sheesh. Seeing me take the two others in through the door gave her the motivation to pull that off. She does not like being left alone. So, I took the tire down and let her go through the hole to join us outside. And then we spent some time eating leaves. Well, I let the goats eat them while I snuck a peanut for myself from my treat pocket. I don’t eat them with the shell, though.
Later on a family came by. I was sitting at the fence with the goats, so they got some good goat interaction. They said they could see a baby or babies moving in Mio’s tummy. I am not sure that’s acurate. But I am no longer flatly denying it when people ask if she’s pregnant. There’s a good chance, I think. Later still a group of kids walked by.. A boy with a football and a couple of girls. One of the girls called out “Miiiia, Miaaa”. Mia didn’t come over, haha. But it’s nice to know people in the neighbourhood are learning their names.

And that concludes today’s Goat Tales.
17/10 2016
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I should be ready for fall.

17/10 2016
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My regular pizza guy is back. And delivery was faster than promised. DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU’RE MY HEEEEERO
17/10 2016
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Here’s a little Behind The Scenes video. Mio watching me set up the camera and getting cucumbers. And of course Mia comes running when she sees me going to the backpack.
17/10 2016
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Be Sleep Now
17/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. We got this far, let’s just keep going.
18/10 2016
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Good goat times today. Grey, little bit of rain. Not too bad. The goats were out when I got there. Always nice to be greeted by Mia’s hollering. A nice and quiet time today, no escapes or anything. I did have a bit of a sad moment, though. I was sitting down, looking at A38. When came to think of my old buddy Mads. He looked a lot like Yogi, only with fewer colours. And a girlier bleat. I thought of my last day with him. And started to tear up. Then Mio came walking out of the door and slowly walked over to me and stood still up against me, like she always does. Like I’m a magnet. And I started scratching her ears. And behind me Mia stopped gnawing on the bunch of branches that are still lying in a pile in the pen. She walked around me and stood next to Mio. And I had both hands full of goats to cuddle while watching A38. You have to be happy with what you have. See the good that’s there. Everything changes. People, animals, the world. You can’t stop that. But enjoy what you have while you have it. That’s one of the most important things for me to try to remember. Appreciate what I have. I may be almost blind, but I’m not blind. I may have lost some wonderful goat friends. But I have some wonderful goat friends. I may feel alone a lot of the time, but I have an army of people that are always there when I need it. An army of kindness. And when it gets cold I can afford to buy an overpriced wellness quilt. Hashtag blessed.
18/10 2016
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One from the archives. Sweet Mads.
18/10 2016
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It is a pretty season

18/10 2016
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Lots of clown reports these days in Denmark. My first thought when I heard about people dressing up as clowns and being spooky was “Oh cool, that’s creepy and kinda neat and it’s like bringing some Stephen King to the real world”. And I started reading about the things the clowns were doing. And realisd that they were just jacklasses harrassing people, just doing it in clown masks. Just more unkindness. I hate unkindness. Throwing rocks at people or chasing women walking their dogs at night isn’t okay just because you’re wearing a clown mask.
18/10 2016
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Well, I think this is the first time I’ve had to edit the F word out of one of my goat videos…
18/10 2016
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Okay. off to bed. Let the clowns eat me if they want. Worm food, clown food, fast food, junk food. We’re all food for someone some day. Assuming my theory that our universe is salt corn on a french fry in a happy meal of a giant interdimensial 400l pound hacker living in the basement of Mr and Mrs God [in your religion] is correct.
Goodnight!
18/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

19/10 2016
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Come, come, nuclear pizza

19/10 2016
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Today in the news QUICK HERE’S SOME KITTENS DON’T LOOK AT THE NEWS.
That’s how my news site would be. Also it would have a lot of stories about goats and pizza and why visually impaired people should get to scratch 2 numbers before they decide whether to buy the lottery ticket.
19/10 2016
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Just ordered myself a box of assortedJapanese candy and snacks. Because… why not? I mean, I better get used to it. If [Presidential candidate you don’t agree with] wins, I’ll definitely be moving to Japan. And I know that doesn’t make sense since I live in Denmark. But you don’t get to write the rules of my tale. I am a free spirit and I cannot be contained by such outdated tropes as logic, sense or ‘not being stupid’.
19/10 2016
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goatlog from the big rainy day.
Part 1

and part 2

20/10 2016
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The hiiiiills are alive, with me not watching the debate.
20/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. HERE’S MORE KITTENS
20/10 2016
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Good goat times today. What do I spy with my single working eye? Sunshine. I can’t remember the last time I got to spend time in the sun with the goats. Still cold. But so much nicer when it’s sunny. Must have rained last night, though, because there was a lot of mud. Parts of the pasture are getting quite soggy. Territory for the goats to avoid. Me as well. But otherwise it’s good. Giving the goats lots of love and treats. What more could you need?
20/10 2016
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Not a bad day for it

20/10 2016
—
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Okay, I’m going to bed. I’m not feeling
20/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. I can do it. We can do it. Let’s do it.
21/10 2016
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I have a headache. And you know what? They don’t offer aspirin as a pizza topping. This seems like a strange oversight.
21/10 2016
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Under a blanket of fall, a banquet of colour.

21/10 2016
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It’s times like these that I wish my watch hadn’t broken, so I could tell what time it is.
21/10 2016
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Conan the Burparian. He… well he burps a lot.
No, I think that one’s going back in the drawer.
21/10 2016
—
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Dog walking man

22/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. I’m gonna take a nap. Then I’m going to exercise. Then I’m going to go on Facebook and write about what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day. Then I’ll do half of the things I said I’d do. Have a good weekend, alls.
22/10 2016
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Another one in my pretentious “Humans and the fall” series.

22/10 2016
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That’s it, South Park. You’re on my list!
22/10 2016
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Well, I talked it over with the government and I’m afraid they insist I join in on Denmark’s quitting of the social media. I hereby announce the closing of my Facebook account. If you guys want to chat you can snailmail me:
Lasse Me Henetchetera
Under the bridge
Trollslayerville
Denmark
.
PS just kidding.
PPS. South Park, I would have consulted on these episodes for free. Some of your Danishments are a little.. off. Kudos on Lennart Bedrager, though. That’s straight outta Casper & Mandrilaftalen.
PPPS. Member Corellian Corvette?
22/10 2016
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I hereby announce that I’m changing my name to SouthLasse Henriksenpark and from now on instead of goat videos I’ll only be posting South Park videos.
Just kidding.
I’ll be changing my name to RickLasse RollMortyface McGoatbusters and I will only be posting obscure facts about 80s pop bands that played gigs in continental Denmark. With bonus videos of Poul Thomsen explaining the mating habits of Danish fauna and flora. Please contribute to my kickstarter if you want more of this content. I can be reached at HowAmIDrivingYouCrazy@emailkilledthepostalworker dut dut dut dut dut
22/10 2016
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To make up for all that gibberish, here is a picture of Mio. Clearly judging me for my poor Facebook etiquette. And lack of giving her treatsness.

22/10 2016
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Bedtime for Pizzaface Goatriksen. PLease remember to subscribe to my newsletter and bookmark my zine and add my blog to your blogroll and exorcise my livejournal and apply for citizenship to my diaryland and send me money so i can build a wax figure of myself from every year of my life. Admittance to Lasseworld will only be allowed if you’re accompanied by an adult or someone with a really convincing fake ID. There are no refunds or spoons, so bring your own cutlery, general Custard. For vacancy apply within, generously on all afflicted body parts. The end. And the legs, and the arms etc.
22/10 2016
—
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

23/10 2016
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goatlog

23/10 2016
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My kickstarter to make Hamilton as performed by Moomins is going surprisingly poor. I guess I overestimated the demand for Moomins.
Also, the cold is creeping in, sneaking in. The floorboards are creaking and the windows are shaking. There is one week until daylight savings change. Winter is coming.
23/10 2016
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I love A38’s kind eyes. And the way she looks up at me, like Kamel used to. Too polite to be pushy, but still goatily hoping for treats.

23/10 2016
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End of Facebook archive. Let’s go go goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.